Introducing a New Bible Translation

[greenbaggins]

This will totally rock the world, dudes and dudettes.

 

[Taylor]

I can't tell if this is satire or not. The dollar signs in place of every "s" seems to indicate satire, but the overall tone of the article seems more serious. Perhaps you should be more clear one way or another as to whether this is satire or news.

 

[Taylor]

I'm joking, by the way.

 

[Beezer]

I'm a Bible nut. I hope this translation comes out in a luxury goatskin edition.

 

[greenbaggins]

I'm a Bible nut. I hope this translation comes out in a luxury goatskin edition.

That would be, like, totally rad, dude.

 

[Bill The Baptist]

I will be looking forward to the follow up edition entitled "Modern oriented rendition of the New Testament, or MORON for short.

 

[johnny]

I have a soft spot for "The Living Bible" don't use it anymore though.
Still use NASB a lot but mostly I'm a King James guy, just like my mum.

Below are two interesting translations, one is too short and one is too long.

Da Boss Above, he take care me,
Jalike da sheep farma take care his sheeps.
He goin give me everyting I need.

He let me lie down wea da sweet an soft grass stay.
He lead me by da water wea I can rest.

He give me new kine life.
He lead me in da road dat stay right,
Cuz I his guy.

God is the station owner,and I am just one of the sheep.He musters me down to the lucerne flats,And feeds me there all week.When I'm feeling poorly, And at something less than my peak, He leads me to the restfulness, Of a coolabah shaded creek. He teaches me not to break away, Not to be a loner; He teaches me to stick with His mob, And acknowledge Him as my Owner. Even when the droughts are bad, And I cross the Desert of Death, God is close beside me, So close I can feel His breath. God is the one who holds the map, That gives me my direction, And God is the one who guarantees, Provision for my Protection. Although there are dingos in the hills, And the paddocks are full of snakes, God serves up a barbeque, Of beautiful T-bone steaks! His patience and compassion, And forgiveness fail me never; And I'll live with Him in the Homestead, Beyond the end of forever.

 

[DMcFadden]

Sorry Lane. I'm saving my money for a Schulyer Goatskin Andy Stanley Bible. It costs more because every couple of verses it includes a typical Andy Stanley disclaimer about why we do not "need" the Bible, merely a risen Christ. And, since his disclaimers take up more space than the original words of the Old Testament and New Testament, the cost is correspondingly much greater.

 

[greenbaggins]

Sorry Lane. I'm saving my money for a Schulyer Goatskin Andy Stanley Bible. It costs more because ever couple of verses it includes a typical Andy Stanley disclaimer about why we do not "need" the Bible, merely a risen Christ. And, since his disclaimers take up more space than the original words of the Old Testament and New Testament, the cost is correspondingly much greater.

Dennis, my friend, say no more. I completely understand that you are waiting for the far greater treasure. However, to paraphrase Mr. Bennet, I must still give the preference to the IDIOT translation, much as I value the repetition and lunacy of the Andy Stanley Bible. However, to each his own.

 

[ZackF]

I'm a Bible nut. I hope this translation comes out in a luxury goatskin edition.

That would be, like, totally rad, dude.

That's so 80s. No pimp-status yo'. Already, your "new" translation needs a dope and solid level-up to style it to now man. Word up to the Word!

 

[John P]

I knew you were joking. I thought it was a funny read that speaks to a real issue. We get so caught up in certain Bible translations that we stop studying the Bible and focus on studying translations.

 

[Free Christian]

The world and all in it now has become so "dumbed down" that its hard to tell whats a joke or not. I sometimes listen to Christian radio where i live and if i had not heard what i have first hand off of it and just was told it by someone on the street i would think "sure try again". Some of the things i hear from some ministers are laughable, and sad. So the line between Christian satire and so called doctrine etc has become so blurred that it is now almost unrecogisable. Thanks be to God though for His Holy Spirit Who gives us discernment to see the false and ridiculous for what it is. Op, = ridiculous. Not the person but the idea.