# How do you know when to give your opinion?



## raderag (May 24, 2004)

I am really bad about blurting out my opinion on theological/religious matters even with people that I have learned have no respect for my ideas. Even so, I also have discussion with others, but sometimes I am too opinionated (maybe even a know-it-all). I have heard great reformed Pastors hold their tongue when I would have blurted my opinion out. Can someone give me some advice?

I don't know if I just want everybody to agree with me so they will think I am smart or if I really have their best interest at heart.


[Edited on 5-24-2004 by raderag]


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## Ianterrell (May 24, 2004)

I think it helps to have a sense that its not up to you to educate everybody with a wrong idea on the spot. I try to use fighter verses for the tendency you are describing.

I like how my pastor is able to say &quot;I don't know&quot; sometimes. It good to be able to just listen sometimes making a note of minor errors to address at a later time. 

The tone should always fit the demeanor of the hearer too. If someone is very relaxed and conversative there's no need to raucously crush their wrong opinion. If someone is stubbornly holding on to sin then it is a good time to offer a strong rebuke I think.


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## dswatts (May 24, 2004)

I have been preaching through the Sermon on the Mount. Yesterday's text was Matthew 7:6, our Lord's warning not to cast pearls before swine or holy things to the dogs. It is a profound text. Read Lloyd-Jones or Pink on that passage. 

I think that this text may very well apply to situations like you describe. If you know that your opinions are not going to be received with a teachable spirit, but with rancor, giving opportunity for the other person to blaspheme and revile our sovereign Lord, then it would be best, in light of this passage, to hold your peace. To do otherwise, would be casting pearls before swine.

My :wr50:

Grace,
Dwayne


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## raderag (May 24, 2004)

[quote:e1ddc99e9d][i:e1ddc99e9d]Originally posted by dswatts[/i:e1ddc99e9d]
I have been preaching through the Sermon on the Mount. Yesterday's text was Matthew 7:6, our Lord's warning not to cast pearls before swine or holy things to the dogs. It is a profound text. Read Lloyd-Jones or Pink on that passage. 

I think that this text may very well apply to situations like you describe. If you know that your opinions are not going to be received with a teachable spirit, but with rancor, giving opportunity for the other person to blaspheme and revile our sovereign Lord, then it would be best, in light of this passage, to hold your peace. To do otherwise, would be casting pearls before swine.

My :wr50:

Grace,
Dwayne [/quote:e1ddc99e9d]

What if you think the person you are talking to is a Christian, but not open to sound teaching?


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## sastark (May 24, 2004)

In addition to what Pastor Watts has already said (excellent advise, by the way) I'll add a couple of verses that have helped me:

Proverbs 26:4-5:

[i:cf8ef30062]&quot;Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you also be like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own eyes.&quot;[/i:cf8ef30062]

AND

Proverbs 15:1:

[i:cf8ef30062]&quot;A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.&quot;[/i:cf8ef30062]

These two passages have been a great help to me when dealing with people who hold to erroneus doctrine. First, if they are just being stupid, let them be stupid. Don't be dragged down to their level. Sometimes it is appropriate to say exactly that: &quot;I would love to talk to you about the Bible, but I will not be dragged down to the level of mocking each other.&quot; If the person doesn't want to have a sensible discussion, do not talk to them. Walk away. That is sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do, believe me, but it is at times the wisest thing to do.

Second, always ([b:cf8ef30062]ALWAYS[/b:cf8ef30062]) remember the words of Bishop Latimer: &quot;There but for the grace of God go I.&quot; Always remember that the only difference between you and the person you are talking with is God's grace. You are no better than them. Doctrine does not make us better people. God's grace does. Think about times in your own life when you were in need of correction on a certain doctrine. Was it the people who brow beat you and told you how stupid and wrong you were that convinced you to change? No. It was the &quot;gentle answer&quot; and the patient teacher that convinced you. Pray for those with whom you disagree. And be humble.

Lastly, my father gave me the best advice ever when it comes to talking about theology: Never talk about theology unless you have a Bible open in front of you. 

[quote:cf8ef30062]
What if you think the person you are talking to is a Christian, but not open to sound teaching?[/quote:cf8ef30062]

Prayer.
Patience.
Prayer.
Repeat as necessary.


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## dswatts (May 24, 2004)

Brett, good question.

I disagree with Calvin (please don't stone me! :bs2: ) on this text. He didn't feel that there was any relation between verse 6 and the first 5 verses of Matthew 7. I think it does, in its immediate context.

Our Lord is telling us how to deal with an erring brother, that we must first judge ourselves, and not deal with our brother in a hyper-critical or hypocritical spirit. That we should approach them concerning their 'mote' with meekness and gentleness, in a spirit of love.

Yet, even if we do so, the erring brother must be willing to accept our admonition or rebuke. Have you ever tried removing something from someone's eye (in the physical sense literally) if they are not willing? Or ever try to take a splinter out of a child when they are resistant? You simply can't do it. So even if we come to the brother/sister in the right spirit, there is not guarantee that they will receive it from us. They may very well turn on us and tear us to pieces, as Jesus said.

And there is the broader application in reference to the lost, but I am sure you see that.

Grace,
Dwayne

[Edited on 5-24-2004 by dswatts]


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## cupotea (May 24, 2004)

I think that one of the biggest determiners on when to give a theological oppinion is setting. If I am at a Bible study put on by my church, and something is said that I disagree with, I will question it. If I am visiting another church, I usualy hold my peace unless asked for my opinion. Finaly, I never argue a point that I can't intelligently back up with scripture.


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## alwaysreforming (May 24, 2004)

As good as the above posts are, I'll throw in my 2cents as well:

I no longer feel called to be everyone's &quot;doctrinal police.&quot; I used to challenge any assertion that was in error, but with the &quot;wisdom of experience&quot; I've learned to hold my tongue a lot more now.

If I don't feel any fruit can come out of correcting someone, I won't.
If the setting is such that the person will feel defensive or &quot;lose face&quot;, I'll hold my tongue.
If someone says something like, &quot;Well, all religions are basically the same anyways;&quot; as much as I would love to correct that statement, if the timing isn't right, I'll hold off.

I'd hope that some other time when its more advantageous and can bear more fruit, I'd have another opportunity to talk to that person.

However, if I'm teaching a class, and a student posits something that isn't right, then of course I'll correct that. I'd say correct anyone and everyone when the timing is right, it can bear fruit, when someone may be stumbled by your silence, and when you feel God will gain glory in your engaging the person.

For the argumentative, the shallow, the disinterested, the loudmouth, and the egoist, I just let it go by.

As promised, my :wr50:


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## dswatts (May 24, 2004)

I agree wholeheartedly Christopher. Great post!

Grace,
Dwayne


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