# Welcome To The Board! (Unofficial Primer)



## BobVigneault (Sep 23, 2005)

Welcome to the board! Here are a few helpful tips to get you jump-started.

1. You want to post but you're afraid you'll be criticized. Try block copying portions of the WCF just to get a few posts under your belt. You will be thrilled to see your name on the board AND NOBODY criticizes the WCF, EVER! It would be good to find a portion of the confession that remotely relates to the topic of discussion but this isn't necessary because...

2. Being abstruse is a virtue with many on the PB. (eg. Think of the sound of a car going by, and contemplate which came first, the sound or the syllogism? Or were they simultaneous? Or does he know before he reasons?) {This quote was ripped out of context and used without permission with no offense intended to my dear friend John V. Thank you John V.}

3. Virginia Hueguenot is not a fine lady named Virginia but a fine gentleman from Virgiania.

4. Paul Manata trained to be a navy seal and is a physically intimidating philosopher. His testimony is a spectacular witness to God's redeeming power. http://www.puritanboard.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=7854#pid114946
Paul is almost harmless now except that just using the syllogism he may be able to make you swallow your tongue.

5. Scott Bushey is a medical professional. This is important if you ever get 'stage dived' by him in the baptismal mosh pit. He is quite able and happy to resussitate you. He will then break for a Don Leno and 'stage dive' you again. Not as dangerous as he sounds. I really like this guy.

6. There are ladies on the board and I mean that in every noble sense the word encompasses. There are not many ladies but they all seem to be beautifully adourned in "the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:4
The PB has winsome moments because of them.

7. We are primarily Presbyterians and Baptists. We all believe in baptism. We all agree on how to spell 'baptism'. Our agreement ends there. This argument will not end until our Lord ends it. For now we hope that it pleases the Lord that we strain every drop of juice out of this pomegranite we call 'baptism'. Grow some thick skin before you jump into the baptismal 'mosh pit'. You may just want to pick up a sprinkling of the controversy or you may become totally immersed, either way the names 'paedo' and 'credo' are not hobbit names but the precursors to a bumpy ride.

8. Dr. C. Matthew MacMahon really is a Doctor and he can tell you why it hurts when you sing any song except those written by the beloved Psalmist. "Open your mouth and say 'covenant'". Dr. MacMahon is a writer. When you witness firsthand the torrent of tomes he has written you will wonder where he finds the time and the energy. He may be a national treasure.

9. Now and then a pastoral melody sings it's way across the tempestuous threads. We have several genuine pastors on the board. Good and humble shepherds all, you would be safe in the care of any one of them.

10. Abbreviations used on the board.
PCA, OPC, PRC, RPCNA, URC, HNRC, ARC, ARPC, FPCS, FCS, FCSC, KJV, AV, ESV, NKJV, EP, CT, RP, TR, RPW, FV, NPP, COW, RC, WCF, HCF, 3FU, BCF, COD, DOG, IBITPTTFOWTM.

The last abbreviation stands for, "I'll Be In The Pub Trying To Figure Out What These Mean". The other abbreviations? You're on your own. So glad you are here, I pray you will be blessed. 

This post is the product of my own mindless idlings (and perhaps the result of taking the wrong medication) and does not reflect the corporate convictions of the Puritanboard or any other individual members.


[Edited on 2-10-2006 by BobVigneault]


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Sep 23, 2005)




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## gwine (Sep 23, 2005)

> 7. We are primarily Presbyterians and Baptists. We all believe in baptism. We all agree on how to spell 'baptism'. Our agreement ends there. This argument will not end until our Lord ends it. For now we hope that it pleases the Lord that we strain every drop of juice out of this pomegranite we call 'baptism'. Grow some thick skin before you jump into the baptismal 'mosh pit'.



I am glad that we can agree on how to spell baptizm and the only problem is when to baptise (or is it baptism and baptize?)

I think I'll stay out of the pit.


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## crhoades (Sep 23, 2005)

> _Originally posted by gwine_
> 
> 
> > 7. We are primarily Presbyterians and Baptists. We all believe in baptism. We all agree on how to spell 'baptism'. Our agreement ends there. This argument will not end until our Lord ends it. For now we hope that it pleases the Lord that we strain every drop of juice out of this pomegranite we call 'baptism'. Grow some thick skin before you jump into the baptismal 'mosh pit'.
> ...



If you'll notice, 'baptism' is spelled ba 'p' tism with a p for paedo. For baptists to be right it would have to be spelled babtist with a 'b' for believers only.

There. That settles the debate forever. Why hasn't anyone thought of that before?

{see that's how easy it is to add to your post count. now others will add posts commenting on my meaningless post to catch up in post count. It's all really a game.}


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## Puddleglum (Sep 23, 2005)

LOL. That is funny! Maybe this should be required reading before initial posting . . .


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## gwine (Sep 23, 2005)

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> 
> If you'll notice, 'baptism' is spelled ba 'p' tism with a p for paedo. For baptists to be right it would have to be spelled babtist with a 'b' for believers only.
> 
> There. That settles the debate forever. Why hasn't anyone thought of that before?



You forget that *b*aptism begins with a *b*, for *b*elievers.:bigsmile:


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## Me Died Blue (Sep 23, 2005)

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_


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## PuritanCovenanter (Sep 23, 2005)

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by gwine_
> ...



It is a hidden code. Thanks Chris. Now I see the truth in the Hidden code.


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## Augusta (Sep 23, 2005)

That is great Bob!  

You should maybe have mentioned how you should never even mention baptism in a post or you will inadvertantly create your own "baptismal mosh pit" which will heretofore be abbreviated BMP.


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## LadyFlynt (Sep 23, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Puddleglum_
> LOL. That is funny! Maybe this should be required reading before initial posting . . .


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## Philip A (Sep 24, 2005)

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> 
> If you'll notice, 'baptism' is spelled ba 'p' tism with a p for paedo. For baptists to be right it would have to be spelled babtist with a 'b' for believers only.



Now that is funny, even moreso than you know. Back in the day when my church was first getting established, I got the first set of checks from the bank, and they had that particular typo. I had to go back to the bank agent and have it corrected.


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## Pilgrim (Sep 24, 2005)

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_


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## Scott Bushey (Sep 24, 2005)

Bob,
The "V" man! The guy that does not miss anything. He's Sponge Bob Christian Pants!!!!


Thats truly accurate! Whats funny to me is that you really know me. I grew up in the slam. Back in the late 70's/early 80's I could be found at 3 in the morning rumbling with the likes of Henry Rollins/Black Flag, Dead Kennedy's and their entorages. This insanity continued (three really large tattoo's later) into my 30's until Christ used a Doc Martin boot to kick me upside my silly head and rescue me. 

The above is an excellent primer for the newbie. Fred should possibly make this a 'sticky".


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## Scott Bushey (Sep 24, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Augusta_
> That is great Bob!
> 
> You should maybe have mentioned how you should never even mention baptism in a post or you will inadvertantly create your own "baptismal mosh pit" which will heretofore be abbreviated BMP.



Tracy,
This is so true..........it's like a match thrown on a puddle of gasoline!


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## Puritanhead (Sep 24, 2005)

> _Originally posted by maxdetail_
> We all agree on how to spell 'baptism'.



What are you talking about Scott? We spell it 'babatizm' where I come from!


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## bond-servant (Sep 24, 2005)

ROFL, Great post!!!!


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## JohnV (Sep 24, 2005)

Hey, I missed that; I was busy listening to cars going by. What's this all about? I'm not following.


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## Richard King (Sep 25, 2005)

That is HILARIOUS !!! (and useful). I was suprised to learn when I entered the world of SCRIPTURE ONLY holding only a Bible that I would need a dictionary, a copy of the WCF, and a book of the proper rules of worship, and Calvin's Institutes, and several commentaries, some Greek and Hebrew references, and innumerable history books, some RC Sproul, some AW Pink, some Derek Webb playing in the background, and etc. etc. etc. just to keep up with one day of postings.


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## Augusta (Sep 25, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Richard King_
> That is HILARIOUS !!! (and useful). I was suprised to learn when I entered the world of SCRIPTURE ONLY holding only a Bible that I would need a dictionary, a copy of the WCF, and a book of the proper rules of worship, and Calvin's Institutes, and several commentaries, some Greek and Hebrew references, and innumerable history books, some RC Sproul, some AW Pink, some Derek Webb playing in the background, and etc. etc. etc. just to keep up with one day of postings.



 

Sola Scriptura!!!


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## JohnV (Sep 25, 2005)

I think that Bob caught the flavour of the Board very well. We're from all over the map, both geographically and in religious background. It's not so much that we need all those other books, its just that they represent a commonality. If we want to know what Presbyterianism is, then it is better to go to those on whose shoulders we have stood in our tradition. If we want to know what Baptist is, (Babtist for you, Chris) then we go to those on whose shoulders we have stood in that tradition. And we'll go to those who defend it today much better than we ourselves can. But it's still just as true, even on this Board, that we stand on the Bible alone, to the best of our know-how. 

And that's just the thing, our know-how. Its so disparate for each of us. Its not wrong to turn to those who can phrase things much better than we can. But I think its wrong to make us dependent on them to the degree that you can't participate unless you've read so-and-so's book or article. It's not right to write someone off whom you've never really read, but its also wrong to write someone off because he hasn't read the authors you have, as if they're the only ones that count. We all have our backgrounds, and each can either be a gift or a curse, or both at the same time. I wouldn't want someone to envy my being brought up from infancy in the Reformed church, at least not for the purpose of wanting to be rid of his own past; because in some ways I envy those who had to fight every inch of the way to have half of what I have by birthright or inheritance. 

That's what makes this Board so rich. It has serious people from all over the Christian map participating, rubbing things together that have never met before, and coming out the better for it. It sends us to the books that have some answers we've been looking for, like Richard here, or it caringly takes us through the arguments themselves for our benefit. From pastorly advice to experienced wisdom, to learned scholarship, to practical friendship and partnership; we're all equal and we're all different with different places and callings. The unity is strong enough to overcome personal differences, patient to overcome youthful zeal, loving to accept a humble and penitent brother, open to consider our own mistakes. 

Inspite of pointing to the things that mark us as fallen humans, which this Board also has its full share of, we look at the things that mark redemption and leading through Christ and the Spirit. And these things are present, I'm sure. I think Bob caught that "spirit" very well. And he entertained us at the same time.


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## BobVigneault (Sep 25, 2005)

Bless you John, nothing abstruse about that. Sweet words well spoken.

Scott Bushey, you never cease to surprise me. Can't imagine you in a literal most pit.


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## pastorway (Sep 25, 2005)

um...sorry to spoil the fun, but there is a serious error in the very first point in the initial post. That error is found where it reads:



> AND NOBODY criticizes the WCF



what board have you been visiting and reading????? or where have the BaBtists been hiding?????

Although the criticism that does come out is only posted due to the fact that the WCF does in a few places disagree with the Second London Baptist Confession of Faith, 1689. And of course we know that the 1689 is superior in its treatment of several topics.......namely baptism!

 :bigsmile:


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## Puritanhead (Sep 26, 2005)

How many Presbyterians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to install it, and the other to hound him verbally that he does it to the glory of God commensurate with the WCF.

:bigsmile:


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## Puritanhead (Sep 26, 2005)

Having said that -- I do think there are some places where the WCF and LBC agree, and the WCF is better articulated and possessed of a poetic beauty that exceeds the LBC in that same area of agreement. Just being an honest credo-baptist! Me likes the bulk of the WCF.


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## BobVigneault (Sep 26, 2005)

A Reformed Presbyterian is rescued after many years on a desert island.

As he stands on the deck of the rescuing vessel, the captain says to him, "I thought you were stranded alone. How come I can see three huts on the beach?"

"Well," replies the castaway, "that one there is my house and that one there is where I go to church."

"And the third one?" asks the skipper.

"Oh, that's the church I DON'T go to."


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## BobVigneault (Feb 9, 2006)

I'm bumping this thread up because Rich confessed in a thread that he really DID think Virginia Huguenot was a lady.


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## TimeRedeemer (Feb 9, 2006)

>_4. Paul Manata is a former navy seal and a physically intimidating philosopher._

Paul Manata wrote that he never became a navy seal.


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## BobVigneault (Feb 10, 2006)

Thank you Michael, an important detail I missed. I will edit that portion. Blessings.


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## TimeRedeemer (Feb 10, 2006)

The way the link is highlighted and underlined gives the impression I was somehow intensely concerned with the matter, but I just didn't want the guy to get googled and accused of saying he was going into bars and announcing he is a running back for the Minnesota Vikings...


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## ~~Susita~~ (Feb 10, 2006)

> _Originally posted by BobVigneault_
> 3. Virginia Huguenot is not a fine lady named Virginia but a fine gentleman from Virgiania.



Holy cow I just learned something new!

SORRY!!


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## Scott (Feb 13, 2006)

2-to-1 odds Andrew changes his handle within the week!


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## smhbbag (Feb 14, 2006)

You know you spend too much time here (or are just nerdy) when you remember threads not by their section and subject title....but thread ID #. (last digits of the URL for the page after 'tid=')

I'm pathetic. Great thread.


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