# Comforting an unbeliever



## jenney (May 18, 2007)

My sister-in-law lost her son yesterday. He was 21 and died from injuries resulting from a motorcycle crash several weeks ago. She and my brother are Jews but her son (from a previous marriage) was a nominal Catholic.

I want to write them a sympathy note, but I'm have no idea what to say. How do you comfort unbelievers who've just suffered the loss of someone precious to them who was also unbelieving? People who in the past have been very offended by my even mentioning Jesus.

I thought I might just keep it very short and say something like, "Janice, I'm so sorry to hear about Gilbert. I know how close you were to him and I hope that those memories will be a comfort to you in these very painful days. We are praying for you. Much Love, Jen" Or along those lines.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.


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## Semper Fidelis (May 18, 2007)

I actually believe it is good to just grieve with people rather than trying to comfort them with words. She probably won't remember much of what you say but it's probably enough to note that you are grieving over the death of her son. I'm not certain that saying much more to people is actually very helpful. Job's friends are to be commended for sitting with him for 7 days in silence while he grieved. It's when they opened their mouth that they got in trouble.

Maybe something simple like:

"Janice, I'm so sorry about Gilbert. We are heartbroken and grieving over the news of his death. Love, Jen"


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## 5solasmom (May 18, 2007)

I agree with Rich.

(((Jenney)))

A gal I've known a while on another board recently lost her 18mo to a tragic accident. It was beyond heartwrenching. I could only grieve and pray for her and her dear family. Words weren't adequate.

Praying for your sil.


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## eternallifeinchrist (May 18, 2007)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. May the Lord surround you all with his comfort. I encourage you to get a big hug as soon as you can.  Your note looks good and so does the suggested one. Write with confidence; it is not you but the Lord.


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## 5solasmom (May 19, 2007)

5solasmom said:


> Words weren't adequate.



Hey girl,

This sounded like I was saying not to write anything! I didn't mean that...I meant that it's hard to find words in a time like this. Simple and short are best.

(((Jenney)))


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