# Books for a Pastor's Wife



## JML (Dec 29, 2010)

Any recommendations for a good book on the subject of being a pastor's wife?


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## EverReforming (Dec 29, 2010)

Are you planning on becoming a pastor's wife, John? 

(Sorry, I've got nothing other than comedic responses to contribute to the subject at hand. )


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## JML (Dec 29, 2010)

It's funny you said that because when I read what I wrote, I thought the same thing but then I said naah nobody will say anything.  Should have trusted my first instinct.

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Actually though, it is for my wife. We put our wives through a lot as pastors. I was hoping for an encouraging book on the subject for her. Besides trying to be an encouragement to her myself of course.


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## JP Wallace (Dec 29, 2010)

I have no ideas John, I await responses with keen interest. However, perhaps the best thing for our wives is that we read a few good books on being good husbands, that would probably ease the burden immensely!


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## JML (Dec 29, 2010)

JP Wallace said:


> I have no ideas John, I await responses with keen interest. However, perhaps the best thing for our wives is that we read a few good books on being good husbands, that would probably ease the burden immensely!



I agree. I am in no way saying that my wife is a bad pastor's wife. She is great. Just looking for some encouragement for her because it can be hard to be a pastor's wife due to all of the pressures.


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## Backwoods Presbyterian (Dec 29, 2010)




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## Herald (Dec 29, 2010)

The OP touches on a much deeper topic. Is there a formal or informal role/expectation for a pastor's wife? Some have strong opinions that a pastor's wife should fill a prominent role in ministering to the women of the church. She should lead or be involved in mercy ministries. Some pastor's wives rebel against this and purposefully avoid anything other than showing up for worship. I have my own opinion, but I'm interested in the opinion/experience of others.


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## KMK (Dec 29, 2010)

She is her husband's help-meet. Therefore, she complements him. Her 'role' varies depending on the strengths and weaknesses of her husband. 

I don't know of any specific books, but my wife and I love to read Sedgwick together. We enjoy reading pastoral theology together as a devotional.


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## JML (Dec 29, 2010)

I understand that you guys don't know me very well. So let me clarify a few things as I had no idea I was opening such a can of worms here. All I am really looking for is a book discussing some of the pressures of being a pastor's wife. Possibly written by a pastor's wife. Right or not, our wives are subjected to many expectations and pressures that come with being the wife of a pastor. When I was a pastor in the SBC, it was almost an unwritten rule that the pastor's wife had to know how to play the piano and be in charge of the "women's ministry." It seems like some of you think that this is what I am referring to. I am not talking about this at all as I think it is pretty silly. What I am talking about is whether we like it or not others in the church do look to the pastor's wife to be an example on raising children, modesty, humility, servitude, etc. It can be a very overwhelming thing to someone who is not ready for it. I am not saying it is right for churches to sometimes expect the pastor's wife to be perfect in these areas but nevertheless it happens. It can be too much to handle when the pastor's wife comes to the realization that they are no longer just a person in the pew but are now a person whose every word and action is dissected and analyzed. It can also be a stress on us because as pastors we love our wives dearly and hate to see them go through some of the things that they do because of our position. Here is an example of the kind of book that I am looking for.

Reformation Heritage Books :: 10 Things Every Ministers Wife Needs to Know


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## Herald (Dec 29, 2010)

John Lanier said:


> I had no idea I was opening such a can of worms here.



John, you're not. The expectations of a pastor's wife is a fair question. There are many false assumptions out there as to what a pastor's wife is supposed to do. Even in my church there are people with varying opinions. It's good to discuss and to seek wise counsel.


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## Curt (Dec 29, 2010)

Brother, the lot of a pastor's wife is often difficult. Is she "first lady," the free associate pastor (Μει γενοιτω), or "just" a church member? My wife has been a pastor's wife for a long time and we have bought a lot of books on the topic. Neither of has ever really found one that is helpful.


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## KMK (Dec 29, 2010)

That book looks interesting.


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## moral necessity (Dec 29, 2010)

I remember reading this one a while ago, and can't think of a reason not to recommend it.

SGCB | MARRIAGE TO A DIFFICULT MAN: The Uncommon Union of Jonathan & Sarah Edwards


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