# Singing happy birthday during worship.



## dalecosby (Apr 6, 2008)

I have an issue at my church.
We typically sing happy birthday to members of the congregation during the worship service.
It is after we sing some hymns and before the preaching.
I have expressed concern over it when my wife had her birthday and I was told my concerns are petty.

Not just to clarify, this IS considered part of our worship.

I was told that we are worshipping by thanking God for the person and the milestone in their life.

To make matters worse, the pastor is my father but I am married and have my own family to look after.

I do not want to cause problems but feel it would be idolotrous to allow people to sing to me or my family in a time of worship.

I have two questions:

Am I just being petty?
And do you have any advice?


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## Theoretical (Apr 6, 2008)

One reaction suffices:



My church deals with birthdays by having everyone for that month who has a birthday coming to the front during the offertory where the pastor specifically prays for them.

I'd be _profoundly_ disturbed if my church sang "Happy Birthday" to me or anyone else during worship.


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## Scott (Apr 6, 2008)

You are not being petty. It is not appropriate to sing happy birthday in church. The way to approach the situation is to approach the leadership, which it sounds like you have done. If they disagree with your position, then ok and I think you have to accept the situation as it is and with its flaws. I don't think this is something serious enough to do something drastic over (leave the church or whatever). It is important to be able to put up with problems and error while we pray and do other things to work for change. 

As long as your wife does not want happy birthday sung to her, I would suggest that you just ask the leadership to not sing, saying she would not like it. 

Those are my two cents, anyway.


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## Poimen (Apr 6, 2008)

No I don't think it is petty. It is the Lord's Day; that should suffice as an answer. 

However you could ask them if it in any way fits with Hebrews 12:28-29. 

Ask them if birthdays have anything to do with the Christian faith. Not that I believe that celebrating birthdays is wrong but they are really are a cultural practice and not dogma. 

Besides if you have asked them to not do it they should, at the very least, respect your wishes as a brother in the Lord.


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## dalecosby (Apr 6, 2008)

> Mr. Cosby, is there any way you and your family could stay out of the congregation whilst it does the aforementioned?


This is what we have done so far


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## dalecosby (Apr 6, 2008)

The problem is made worse by the fact that is it my dad who is hte pastor and we do not have plural elders.
There is no other recourse.


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## dalecosby (Apr 6, 2008)

I might add that another complication is that I am the music leader.
It is easy for my wife and daughter to leave for the nursery.
It is quite another as I am on the platform.


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## dalecosby (Apr 6, 2008)

> This is what I would continue to do, personally.


We are going to try.
It will be harder in July when it is my turn.


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## Poimen (Apr 6, 2008)

Not that it will help necessarily, but our congregation puts the names of members who are celebrating their birthdays that week in the bulletin. That way people can still be congratulated without it having to interfere with our worship of God.


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## Zenas (Apr 6, 2008)

The fact that they don't honor the binding of your conscience is mind boggling. The justification they use for doing it is gut-wrenching. Worship is about God, not us and our meager lives and God. God alone.


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## dalecosby (Apr 6, 2008)

I might add that I am not sure what would happen if we stayed in the service during that time.
When I first apprached with my concerns, I was just told that I was petty and that was it.
Being unsure of what would happen, I just have not given the opportunity.


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## kvanlaan (Apr 7, 2008)

Sorry to hear this, brother. It seems like the pulpit these days is up for just about any public use - it is no longer the exclusive property of communicating the gospel (which, In my humble opinion, is what it should remain _exclusively_). Is there perhaps an elder congregant who would be better suited to talking to your father about it - someone that he would be more likely to listen to? (I know I'd find it difficult to hear this sort of thing from my son... I may listen with more patience to a peer or someone older.)


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## Timothy William (Apr 7, 2008)

I'm not sure it is definitely against the RPW to sing happy birthday.

Would it be against the RPW to thank God for certain members of the congregation? To thank him that they have been preserved for the past year, and ask for His blessing on them for the coming year?

Assuming the church was not EP, if it is permissible to say or pray these things, is it not also permissible to sing them?

Personally I find the whole idea incredibly naff. I have been in churches which did sing Happy Birthday, and I always found it cringe worthy, and distracting from the main purpose of the service, but I am not so sure that it is always wrong that I would walk out for the duration, though I might be tempted to.

Is it wrong to read out birthdays during a service? Is it wrong to announce other major life events - births, deaths, engagements and marriages?


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## JBaldwin (Apr 7, 2008)

Does your church have a fellowship time before or after the worship service? Perhaps you could suggest that they honor the birthdays during that time. 

Our church doesn't do anything at the moment. At my last church, they were listed in the bulletin, and the pastor sent the person a card on their birthday.


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## panta dokimazete (Apr 7, 2008)

It is wrong? Yes - can it be reformed? - time will tell - approach the subject with gentleness and persistence.


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## Reformed Covenanter (Apr 7, 2008)

Can they not sing happy birthday _after _the service if they really must.


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## toddpedlar (Apr 7, 2008)

Timothy William said:


> I'm not sure it is definitely against the RPW to sing happy birthday.



I'm not sure I can understand what part of worship such singing has. It's not worship song - God isn't being praised, but nice wishes are being wished upon someone in the congregation. There are PLENTY of opportunities for that - and it has no place in worship whatsoever.



> Would it be against the RPW to thank God for certain members of the congregation? To thank him that they have been preserved for the past year, and ask for His blessing on them for the coming year?



Certainly valid, and good examples of edifying prayer. 



> Assuming the church was not EP, if it is permissible to say or pray these things, is it not also permissible to sing them?



Because, again, who is the focus of the whole congregation's attention at that moment? Someone other than the only proper focus, God almighty. 



> Personally I find the whole idea incredibly naff. I have been in churches which did sing Happy Birthday, and I always found it cringe worthy, and distracting from the main purpose of the service, but I am not so sure that it is always wrong that I would walk out for the duration, though I might be tempted to.
> 
> Is it wrong to read out birthdays during a service? Is it wrong to announce other major life events - births, deaths, engagements and marriages?



This is why churches which worship according to principles consistent with (even if not fully) the RPW never announce such things within the bounds of worship. There is a clear call to worship, and a clear benediction, that bookend worship time. Depending on the taste of the particular church's leadership, these announcements may take place before the call to worship, or after the benediction (actually I believe that to do so BEFORE the call to worship is problematic - after the benediction is far better, for you thus allow the congregation sufficient space to prepare their hearts before approaching Almighty God before worship begins). To put announcements of this kind of thing into the worship service itself is to assert that it is properly part of worship, which it is not.


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## etexas (Apr 7, 2008)

Dale, man , I LOVE attention on my Birthdays, I mean I am SHAMELESS! That said, I would be mortified if my local PCA congregation sang to me in a Worship service! I agree with some of the others here, I would quietly and respectfully exit the sanctuary during the Happy B-Day and "sit it out."


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## jambo (Apr 7, 2008)

I don't like the idea of singing happy birthday in church but its not generally done over here except possibly if it was a significant birthday. However what I did find totally abhorrent was a church I visited one Christmas time where they sung happy birthday to Jesus.


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