# Best practices -how can missionaries best bless their supporting churches?



## Pergamum (Nov 5, 2008)

Hello;

According to you all, how can your missionaries that you support best be a blessing to your home churches?

On the field or on furlough what are some of the things that they do that is most appreciated? Least appreciated? Most troubling? Good? Bad? 

What do you wish they would do? What things do they need to not do or do better?


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## Leslie (Nov 6, 2008)

Child discipline is entirely different overseas than what it is in the states. Three areas where children's behavior may be offensive are 1. Excessive interruption of adult conversations and/or demands for adult attention and/or loudness in play and 2. Freedom to comment on the environment and other people's behavior when a quiet question to a parent would be more appropriate and 3. Basic assumptions about asking permission before touching or doing certain things. There are great cultural variations even within the missions community--we experienced conflict with British and Australians and Germans even without children. Trying hard to do the right thing often resulted in our doing precisely the wrong thing. 

It would help, before a furlough or at the beginning of a furlough, to attend a meeting of mixed children and adults from the home country and then to discuss with your children (before going to a supporting church) what they saw and heard. "Did you notice that Aunt Polly was upset when Danny interrrupted her story?" "Wasn't that nice that Jimmy asked permission before he took Judy's toy?" Talking explicitly about unwritten social rules and that they vary from place to place could help relationships very much. My kids, though raised in the states, encountered this. Their grandparents were Christian Reformed. We went to an E Free church. They went to a Lutheran day school and an Assembly of God youth group. Everyone had their own "no-no's" and they had to keep straight whose no-no's were in force at any one time.

Supporting churches should understand that MK's are cross-cultural kids and need to be taught the local/regional social niceties. Perhaps asking a slightly older child to be an MK's buddy to mentor the adjustment would take the burden from the parents.


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## smhbbag (Nov 6, 2008)

The above is an excellent observation I would have missed.

In general, I think if the sending church is sound and faithful, the biggest blessing to them would be an open sharing of information regarding the struggles and triumphs of your work. Our church has a regular prayer schedule for overseas missionaries, yet I find it most difficult to pray for, rejoice with, and even simply love those about whom I know very little. 

I think many real believers in the stateside bubble want to be (not just feel) active in the work their folks do in ministering abroad. But, there is an inherent awkwardness and uncertainty about how to do so when there is a 'wall' between them. In most I've seen, that wall is simply a lack of regular and detailed information. When some missionaries I know well come home for a while, it is a time of great joy and replenishment for both of us. With others I don't know so well, it is much more difficult to feel as though we are in the same body. I appreciate what they do, and pray for them still, but it's just.....different.

Here's an analogy that makes sense to me, though it may seem random: parents with children at boot camp.

The parents love their 18 y.o. son deeply and have been close all their lives, and they send him off to boot camp with their blessing. Then, over the weeks and months, two different kinds of letters may come. Some, simply stating "Made it through the first week. It's tough, but I'm ok. Keep praying," while others may contain a long and detailed list of specific events, emotional trials, funny stories, etc. I think the parents are far more blessed by the latter. In that case, a lot more genuine unity and affection is maintained. The love and loyalty between them may remain, but the blessing is far greater when the struggle is shared.

I understand that many missions environments do not lend themselves to that type of communication during the work itself. Even in that case, I think the church could bless itself by allowing ample time (public and private) to simply listen to their missionaries.

Coming from the missionary's point of view, Pergamum, would it be an equal blessing for the Church (as the Lord allows) to send such detailed or informative letters regarding the work at home to you in the field?


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## Wannabee (Nov 6, 2008)

Great questions Pergy! I wish more missionaries would ask these questions. In fact, they might be good questions to ask a church where they intend to visit/raise support.

I would answer these on two levels, personal and corporate.


Personal - I want to know that the missionary is real. Too often missionaries share of all the triumphs of ministry. But that gives an unrealistic picture and tends towards an elevation of one's perception of the holiness of that missionary. I can pray for a missionary who doesn't share these things. But I can enter the battle with one who is transparent. When his heart breaks my heart can break, and I can intercede accordingly. When he is convicted of sin I am encouraged to evaluate my own walk and pray for both of us. I prefer regular communication, as the missionary is able. The more I hear from him the more I get involved in his ministry. I know one missionary who keeps such good communication going that I can name almost every person in his church, and know how to pray for individuals. Others give quick overviews with no intimacy, as though sending a letter is doing us a favor. 

Corporate -this, unfortunately, is a different animal. Often people expect missionaries to be above any form of sin or any struggle they encounter. I've seen churches withdraw support for some pretty asinine reasons. Many of them desire to simply hear how wonderful their investment is coming along; "Please send lots of pictures." For our church, the people have learned not to think this way. But the reality is there for missionaries to grapple with nevertheless. 

When a missionary visits they should preach God's Word. Too often they brag on "their" accomplishments in the field. Adoniram Judson had it right though. They need to hear Christ proclaimed, not some self-aggrandizing message about how well the church's missionary portfolio is growing. Give a brief update, or set aside a Q&A time, but let us hear your heart and love for Christ through the faithful preaching of His Word.

One area that I differ with many is in short-term missions. I think they're great. Missionaries are often disgruntled with them. But, they're missing the point. Unfortunately, missionaries often think short-term missions is about helping them. For those visiting, it should be. But, for the missionary, it's an incredible opportunity to help visiting churches see the reality of missions and be involved in the work of Christ. The missionary gets to teach the visitors, and his local converts, what genuine Christian hospitality is. The local people get to minister to visitors, sharing their faith with believers from other nations. It's a win/win situation, if it's approached with an attitude of "considering others before yourself." The investment is huge. But the return can be eternal. 

Churches owe missionaries nothing. Often a missionary acts as though the church owes them something. Don't get me wrong. I think churches should do all they can to minister to a visiting missionary, and lighten his load as much as possible. But the missionary shouldn't expect it, but should rather see each visit as an opportunity to display Christ's character and teach others about the love of Christ.

I've shared before, supporting missionaries is an intimate relationship. At one time it was not reasonable to expect regular communication. In some areas it is still very difficult. But, for most missionaries, keeping their prayer support updated and maintaining those relationships should be seen as a welcome privilege, and not a drudgery.


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## py3ak (Nov 6, 2008)

I like it when missionaries apply the same rules to their congregations that they would apply to congregations in the States -no gossiping. I understand that people want to pray, but we recognise that this can be a temptation within our own churches -why would it not be a temptation across churches? There are ways to share prayer request without publicly psychoanalysing your church goers or broadcasting information about them that may be sensitive.


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## Pergamum (Nov 6, 2008)

smhbbag said:


> Coming from the missionary's point of view, Pergamum, would it be an equal blessing for the Church (as the Lord allows) to send such detailed or informative letters regarding the work at home to you in the field?



There was some church troubles in one of my supporting churches last year and I just heard about it a month or two ago.... so yes, I greatly value news from the homefront. Several families send me current fotos and news from the churches and that is very nice. I try to over-communicate but it takes many hours that I need to be doing other things (of course, I spend about 5 hours per week on the PB anyhow, mostly while chekcing email, writing or eating breakfast, so I could reduce that as well....)


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## Pergamum (Nov 6, 2008)

Wannabee said:


> Churches owe missionaries nothing. Often a missionary acts as though the church owes them something. Don't get me wrong. I think churches should do all they can to minister to a visiting missionary, and lighten his load as much as possible. But the missionary shouldn't expect it, but should rather see each visit as an opportunity to display Christ's character and teach others about the love of Christ.
> 
> I've shared before, supporting missionaries is an intimate relationship. At one time it was not reasonable to expect regular communication. In some areas it is still very difficult. But, for most missionaries, keeping their prayer support updated and maintaining those relationships should be seen as a welcome privilege, and not a drudgery.



Brother, could you elaborate more on this? Have you seen bad examples of missionaries who think churches owe them something? How is this exhibited and what needs to be done?

I just read a book entitled, "Missionary of Moochionary" by some Indy Fundy guy and he says much of the same thing.


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## Herald (Nov 6, 2008)

Missionaries can bless their supporting churches by doing the work you are called to do. Communicate with those churches that support you so that they can pray and share in your joys and sorrows.


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## Leslie (Nov 6, 2008)

Second thought: The other thing about cross-cultural stuff between MK's and their home culture is attitude to the human body and nudity and what's properly said and done concerning sexual differences. One little girl, hearing that native children were frequently naked, actually asked a missionary, "If they don't wear clothes, how can they tell the difference between the girls and the boys?". The missionary was an adult who was able to answer discreetly but if it had been an MK who couldn't control laughter, it could have been unsettling. Discussing the cultural differences in nudity/modesty and the fact that some young American children are clueless could prevent offense.


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## Wannabee (Nov 6, 2008)

Pergamum said:


> Wannabee said:
> 
> 
> > Churches owe missionaries nothing. Often a missionary acts as though the church owes them something. Don't get me wrong. I think churches should do all they can to minister to a visiting missionary, and lighten his load as much as possible. But the missionary shouldn't expect it, but should rather see each visit as an opportunity to display Christ's character and teach others about the love of Christ.
> ...



First, I'm not sure you are referring to the second paragraph, so I'll make a brief comment on it. Sometimes missionaries don't seem to want a close relationship. They don't seem to want accountability. They act as experts and fail to keep their supporting churches updated. We've seen a couple who apparently used the mission work as their means to move to another country, then basically set up home and did as they pleased.

As for churches owing missionaries nothing - I've not seen it a lot. But there have been instances where the missionary acts like he's doing the church a favor by visiting. I've seen a couple present themselves as "the expert" too, talking down to the congregation. I suppose some of this can develop as they recognize more clearly how apathetic and impious American churches can be. I've also seen some severe manipulation and forced tears that was somewhat appalling. And, overall in my post, I'm trying to convey the need for missionaries to see themselves IN ministry, even when on furlough. They GET to minister to each church they visit. If it's a chore then they've either lost sight of their calling, or never had a good vision to start with. They must view each visit as an opportunity; and NOT an opportunity to gain more support, but an opportunity to minister right where God has them at that moment, regardless of whether they get kicked out or gain support. 

A dear friend of mine strives to preach a convicting sermon wherever he goes. Often he really steps on toes. That's what I'd like - show me my sin so I can see more clearly where I need to be more like Christ. If he can and is willing to do it here, in love, I know he'll do it wherever he's going. Praise God!


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