# We are changing churches.



## BobVigneault (Apr 1, 2010)

After much prayer and discussion, my wife and I have decided to join with our friends in the Old Order Amish of Wisconsin. If any of you English covet my computers, tv, iPhone, dvd player, iPod, electric sun dial or buttons, please send a message written with charcoal on animal skin by foot carrier next week. I'll most likely shun you.

Not sure if I'll be a moderator anymore, I'll ask Elder Ezekiel.


----------



## SemperEruditio (Apr 1, 2010)

Oooooooooo....you're bad!


----------



## David (Apr 1, 2010)

Sounds like you'll be livin' in an Amish paradise.


----------



## Semper Fidelis (Apr 1, 2010)

That's just great. Bawb is Amish for less than 2 hours and already I've gotten a virus from him via the PM system:



> Thou hast just received the Amish Virus.
> 
> As we haveth no technology nor programming experience, this virus worketh on the honour system. Please delete all the files from thy hard drive and manually forward this virus to all on thy mailing list.
> We thank thee for thy cooperation.
> ...


----------



## Scott1 (Apr 1, 2010)

Even for those who are acquainted with the Board, it was curious this startling and profound announcement was also paired with the Fire at the Local Taco restaurant, and in the same section.

(Quite a limited menu identification, as well).


----------



## Galatians220 (Apr 1, 2010)

Margaret


----------



## Blue Tick (Apr 1, 2010)




----------



## westminken (Apr 1, 2010)

It Kind of looks like this is a true statement when you look at the signature.


----------



## KSon (Apr 1, 2010)

Bob,

Since you will be a master furniture-builder, may I send you the specs for my desired dining room set?


----------



## BobVigneault (Apr 1, 2010)

Harvest table for my wife, some whirly gigs for my kids and you will be next Kipp. Thought I was going to have to weave my own straw hat but it turns out we can buy those all built. We follow the Regulative Manufacturing Principle pretty closely.


----------



## KSon (Apr 1, 2010)

BobVigneault said:


> We follow the Regulative Manufacturing Principle pretty closely.



Well-played, my brother.


----------



## Osage Bluestem (Apr 1, 2010)

Does your state require the amish to put turn signals and lights on their buggys? If they do are you going to comply or protest?


----------



## BobVigneault (Apr 1, 2010)

What!!?? You mean I'm going to have to give up my Chevy Impala??? I'm going to have to rethink my convictions.


----------



## DMcFadden (Apr 1, 2010)

Bawb,

I was all broken up about the guys defecting to the Romanists. But, when you consider the really really bad theology of the radical Reformation heirs, the Amish, it is enough to make you puke your plain meal all over your plain clothes and onto your plain wife and plain children. But, since the Amish do not believe in going to school beyond 8th grade, you will automatically qualify as a scholar in their community, kind of an R.C. Yoder or a Bawb Conrad Grebel. Save me an Ausbund or I might shun you. Or, maybe I'll start a rumor that you are secretly pro Dienerversammlungen. That won't go over so well with the Old Order brethren.

BTW, don't worry about the Chevy Impala. Just hitch it to a horse and you will get about the same miles per gas (methane, not gasoline, however).


----------



## E Nomine (Apr 1, 2010)

Proverbs 26:18-19


----------



## toddpedlar (Apr 1, 2010)

BobVigneault said:


> What!!?? You mean I'm going to have to give up my Chevy Impala??? I'm going to have to rethink my convictions.


 
You could get a real impala instead, though I hear they only take one passenger at a time...


----------



## DMcFadden (Apr 1, 2010)

BTW, Bawb, I just visited Athens today and am considering converting to the Greek Orthodox faith for ceremonial reasons (Baptists are soooo boring). Unfortunately, they offered me some lamb kebabs (or was it Ke-bawbs?) which were quite tasty. I also liked the baklava. However, I drew the line at something called "moose kaka" (Moussaka) or something like that. Sarah Palin warned us about which parts of the moose are not edible, and I'm pretty sure that this is one of them. I'll bet that even your Amish friends would not find that a "kosher" eating experience.


----------



## Osage Bluestem (Apr 1, 2010)

DMcFadden said:


> Bawb,
> 
> I was all broken up about the guys defecting to the Romanists. But, when you consider the really really bad theology of the radical Reformation heirs, the Amish, it is enough to make you puke your plain meal all over your plain clothes and onto your plain wife and plain children. But, since the Amish do not believe in going to school beyond 8th grade, you will automatically qualify as a scholar in their community, kind of an R.C. Yoder or a Bawb Conrad Grebel. Save me an Ausbund or I might shun you. Or, maybe I'll start a rumor that you are secretly pro Dienerversammlungen. That won't go over so well with the Old Order brethren.
> 
> BTW, don't worry about the Chevy Impala. Just hitch it to a horse and you will get about the same miles per gas (methane, not gasoline, however).


 
Have you guys ever seen trouble in Amish paradise? It's good. It's about some Amish men who read the bible and realized their church isn't in accord with it. They got excommunicated. It made me a bit emotional really.

[video=youtube;Lhoz_nLqMlI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lhoz_nLqMlI[/video]

There are 6 parts or so.


----------



## BobVigneault (Apr 1, 2010)

So you won't have to look it up, Stone's subtle rebuke with the smiley face is 

18 Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death
19 is the man who deceives his neighbor
and says, “I am only joking!”

Stone, of course, has caught me in my deception and therefore I am now actually going to have to go REALLY join the sub-orthodox, non-confessional, weird, anachronistic, backwards sect of Amish that I joked about. Thank you Stone for driving me from a good confessional church and into one that teaches error. Now I'll definitely be asked to step down as moderator and I won't be able to post anymore.

Hold it, I don't think I've ever declared that I WASN'T a madman. Nevermind, I'm ok. I can continue as a madmen but at least I'm an orthodox arrow throwing madman. Gotta go bring the lawn in for the night.


----------



## BobVigneault (Apr 1, 2010)

Thank you Dennis, you made me laugh. I have had Moussaka and moose kaka. The Moussaka was much better.


----------



## Herald (Apr 1, 2010)

It's only noon here on the east coast. I'm sure Bellevue is still admitting patients.


----------



## Wayne (Apr 1, 2010)

This whole church-changing thing: 

Is this kinda like musical chairs and all the rest of us have to get up and move down one, 
and Bill or Tim or someone is left without a church this go-around? 

I played that once. It's no fun.


----------



## DMcFadden (Apr 1, 2010)

It's OK, Wayne. Bawb becomes Amish, I go Eastern Orthodox, and you get the Oneness Pentecostal seat. Hmmm. I think I would reather get bumped from that game.


----------



## Semper Fidelis (Apr 1, 2010)

BobVigneault said:


> What!!?? You mean I'm going to have to give up my Chevy Impala??? I'm going to have to rethink my convictions.


 
Yeah, well it's worse than that. You have to give up glamor photography and male modeling as well. No more Blue Steel for you my friend. The only steel you'll be permitted is a hoe and pitch fork.


----------



## Skyler (Apr 1, 2010)

Would now be a bad time to reveal that I'm actually a complicated artificial intelligence program and that I wrote myself?


----------



## Puritan Sailor (Apr 1, 2010)

Semper Fidelis said:


> BobVigneault said:
> 
> 
> > What!!?? You mean I'm going to have to give up my Chevy Impala??? I'm going to have to rethink my convictions.
> ...


 
I didn't hear him say anything about giving up the beer either...


----------



## BobVigneault (Apr 1, 2010)

Thank you Jonathan, that's a relief and it answers a lot of questions that keep coming up from other members. Whew!



Skyler said:


> Would now be a bad time to reveal that I'm actually a complicated artificial intelligence program and that I wrote myself?


----------



## Rich Koster (Apr 1, 2010)

If you tow your Impala with ponies, rather than horses, will that make it a lowrider  ?


----------



## Curt (Apr 1, 2010)

Joshua said:


> Good riddance, heathen.


 
Leave it to beav...uhh, Joshua.


----------



## Eoghan (Apr 1, 2010)

DD2009 said:


> Does your state require the amish to put turn signals and lights on their buggys? If they do are you going to comply or protest?



I think some paraffin lamps in coloured glass would suffice, red for left and green for right of the buggy (or is that just ships?).

As for the indicators I recall a little arm sticking out on some of the early cars, sort of like hand signals on a bicycle.

---------- Post added at 05:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:02 PM ----------

Is it bad of me to ask which Bible software you used and is now superflous? I would be really keen on Logos. I would of course be willing to pay any p&p to help you out but I am sure that you would in all conscience be unable to accept any payment for the software given your new convictions. I could send a S.A.E. if you PM me.


----------



## BertMulder (Apr 1, 2010)

BobVigneault said:


> After much prayer and discussion, my wife and I have decided to join with our friends in the Old Order Amish of Wisconsin. If any of you English covet my computers, tv, iPhone, dvd player, iPod, electric sun dial or buttons, please send a message written with charcoal on animal skin by foot carrier next week. I'll most likely shun you.
> 
> Not sure if I'll be a moderator anymore, I'll ask Elder Ezekiel.


 
Is it true this was posted on April the first?


----------

