# Fear of Being Wrong



## iacobus (Sep 20, 2010)

I'm a new college student who's having a hard time adjusting to being uprooted. I'm relatively new to my faith (~2.5 years) and I feel an overwhelming sense of fear.

It all started with a dialogue I had with a Catholic friend. The dialogue died down after a while, but I felt tremendous guilt for not being able to explain the Scriptures well, and for not being able to provide good answers for my friend, who is still very much a committed Catholic.

I still feel guilt sometimes, but it all seems to be a part of this great fear on my part. When my friend and I were discussing, we did most of it through email, and it gave a sense of paranoia that hasn't seemed to go away. After we were done with our discussions the guilt remained, and so did the impulse to "be prepared" for anything that could come my way. I was particularly drawn to a website he directed me to, and where he seems to have gotten the ammunition that made him bold enough to approach me in the first place.

It seems like it isn't even about him anymore, although to some extent it might be. I go on-line and see all these debates that go on and it makes me extremely afraid. There's a lot I don't understand about Scripture, even fundamental things like justification, and I see the rampant unbelief online of people that were once Reformed and turned away to Rome. I'm very scared that one of these days I'm going to run into an argument, or worse, be confronted personally, that I can't answer, and that its going to destroy my faith. This is something that's been consuming me for a month or even more now, and although I'm getting better, I'm still very very scared. I'm scared even to read Scripture, for fear that I'm going to read something and draw some wrong conclusions from it, or that somehow everything I know is wrong, and I just haven't run into the argument that's going to turn everything topsy turvy yet.

Maybe I'm vain. Maybe I'm scared of losing an argument. I'm just not sure. When I first came to faith, I followed whatever Calvin said, and maybe that's what's wrong. I had loose exegetical proofs of things that I believed. Then I got into a situation where I had to discuss Scripture in detail, came up with more vague answers than I was comfortable with, and freaked out. I've been on huge internet reading binges and I have clarified a lot of my thinking on matters, but I still just feel...afraid.


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## VictorBravo (Sep 20, 2010)

Brother, you are young and there is a time to learn and a time to argue:



> Ecc 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
> ....
> 
> Ecc 3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;



I strongly urge you to seek out fellowship among elders and mature Christians in your church and to refrain from apologetics, especially with Roman Catholics, for now. It takes a fair bit of time to shake out the dust from what you have been exposed to, and arguments from the RC can only cause you to become unsettled. Get yourself grounded and pray that the Spirit will bolster your armour of faith.

If possible, join a reformed study group. At the very least, seek out like-minded believers for regular study. You need guidance from others--mature men in the Reformed Faith, especially during a time of being uprooted.


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## christiana (Sep 20, 2010)

For dealing with your fear I know this can be so troublesome and we all want to share the gospel perfectly! God is to be honored by what we say and He provides us with this desire to make His word known!
Becoming knowledgeable about scripture comes with reading it much and often over a long while. Have you tried Dr. Grant Horner's bible reading system? It is such a good way to feel the scope of the whole bible and along the way to see those best scripture verses that will stick in your mind for future use! There is a great little book as well that is helpful called Gospel Primer, short, concise and to the point! It may not help with apologetics to a Roman Catholic but it will be most helpful to form a great sharing of the simple gospel! It was written by Milton Vincent.
There are so many times we all feel lacking for having the perfect words to share so dont allow your fears to stop you from telling all that God has done in your own life! What a miracle, that God has brought you to Himself and has plans to fully equip you to serve Him! He has already provide all we need to live for Him, have faith, to be servants that bring Him honor! Your life will be witnessing while you gather your words together! May He bless and guide you always!


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## Skyler (Sep 20, 2010)

What VictorBravo said. =)

In addition, if you have free time to listen (like while driving in the car), you might think about a theology/apologetics themed podcast such as the Narrow Mind or the Dividing Line. I've found that to be a great way to get a sort of "crash course" in elemental apologetics with other worldviews and especially with laying the foundation of the superiority of the Christian worldview.

The Narrow Mind: Unchained Radio - Home
The Dividing Line: Alpha and Omega Ministries, The Christian Apologetics Ministry of James R. White

Finally though, your faith _must_ be grounded in something deeper than intellectual argumentation. No amount of study can substitute for a personal relationship with God and having His indwelling Spirit.


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## Peairtach (Sep 20, 2010)

> There's a lot I don't understand about Scripture, even fundamental things like justification,



I would avoid heavy duty apologetics until you're ready for heavy duty apologetics.

Seek that the Lord would build up your faith and understanding.

If you have time listen to these 80 sermons on the Book of Romans by Dr Sinclair Ferguson, particularly those on chapters 4-7, and the others when you're able.

Sunday PM

I regret not having studied Romans in the kind of detail that is done here at an earlier point in my Christian life.

You need to grow in the faith before you take on big beasts in apologetical argumentation.

Studying apologetics can strengthen one's faith in one sense, and yet it is not spiritually edifying in the way listening to good quality expository preaching is both spiritually and intellectually edifying.

It can be frightening to see unbelief in some of its manifestations. C.S. Lewis indicated that the apologist needs to get away from it in order to recharge his spiritual batteries.

Your fear may have arisen because in your study of apologetics you realise that _you_ don't have all the answers. 

The more you get to know the Lord through His Word, you will realise that you don't need to have _all_ the answers to trust Him. This is not to disparage the honest seeking of answers and the study and practice of apologetics, _faith seeking understanding_ as Anselm said.

_IV. The authority of the Holy Scripture, for which it ought to be believed, and obeyed, depends not upon the testimony of any man, or Church; but wholly upon God (who is truth itself) the author thereof: and therefore it is to be received, because it is the Word of God._

_V. We may be moved and induced by the testimony of the Church to an high and reverent esteem of the Holy Scripture. And the heavenliness of the matter, the efficacy of the doctrine, the majesty of the style, the consent of all the parts, the scope of the whole (which is, to give all glory to God), the full discovery it makes of the only way of man's salvation, the many other incomparable excellencies, and the entire perfection thereof, are arguments whereby it does abundantly evidence itself to be the Word of God: yet notwithstanding, our full persuasion and assurance of the infallible truth and divine authority thereof, is from the inward work of the Holy Spirit bearing witness by and with the Word in our hearts.

(WCF Chapter One)._


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## iacobus (Sep 20, 2010)

> Your fear may have arisen because in your study of apologetics you realise that you don't have all the answers.



That hit the nail right on the head I think. I converted from Roman Catholicism in high school, and from that moment on I was the kid with the big target painted on his back. It bred a warfare mindset which hasn't been altogether healthy, and also made me arrogant whenever I got people to leave me alone. I didn't start exploring apologetics on the internet very much until this summer, before that it was mostly theolgy reading and audio from Westminster Seminary, which has been helpful, but I regret having not actually taken notes for all the lectures I've heard (it must be somewhere in the hundreds, and not a written record). I just went after whatever seemed most Reformed, and it came as a bit of a shock to me to see that there's real, vehement battles out there to defend what I've assumed to be right. Every time I make a conclusion, I immediately think "well what would a Roman Catholic say". I'm not really sure what to do about the little voice that does that, but I think it will go away with time, as long as I throw myself at the feet of the LORD daily, which I haven't been doing because I've been so overcome with doubt.

Thanks so much Richard for the audio. I plan on listening and taking notes on some lectures on Justification I found at RTS as well. I've only read one little article by Dr. Ferguson, but I know his reputation, and this looks brilliant. Maybe after I feel more solid in my own faith I can figure out why it is Catholics think the way they do. Right now I have a vague idea, but I agree that I'm only doing more harm than good by pursuing to understand how they twist the gospel before I have a more solid grasp of it.


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## dudley (Sep 20, 2010)

James you said “There's a lot I don't understand about Scripture, even fundamental things like justification, and I see the rampant unbelief online of people that were once Reformed and turned away to Rome.”

James, I am an ex Roman catholic who has turned to Protestantism and the Reformed faith. I am now a Presbyterian. 

James I also see you feel some alienation from Roman Catholic family and friends. That is understandable. However you should also know that you…we .. are not alone there are 15 million ex Roman Catholics in the United States alone who left Roman Catholicism in the last two decades and are now Protestants like you and me. There are also 414 ex Roman Catholic priests in the United States alone who are now Protestant ministers. You are not alone by any means.

I the opposite of Scott Hahn, a former Presbyterian minister who turned to Rome. I am a Roman catholic until 4 years ago and now a staunch defender of the Reformed Faith. I am now a Calvinist Presbyterian Protestant. A series of circumstances led me to become a Protestant and a Presbyterian.

I have done much study and am well versed in Roman catholic theology and the Reformed Protestant Faith and Reformed theology and Presbyterianism.

If you need to address a question or an issue please do not hesitate to write me an e mail or a PB private message . I check both every day. You should also know that there are several PB brothers on here who like me and you are also ex Roman Catholics turned Protestant and Presbyterian or Baptists. Who are also like the both of us. You are not alone my PB brother. Write me whenever you have a question.


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## Mushroom (Sep 20, 2010)

Dudley, you have no idea what a blessing you are to me. Love you much, brother.

James, please remember that your redemption is through faith in a Person, not an argument. Seek before and above every other thing to know Him and the power of His resurrection.


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## Rich Koster (Sep 21, 2010)

2 Peter 1 shows us that there is much to come for a new believer. Read this and you will see what we should "add to our faith" (vs 5). Be patient, it will come if you continue to study.


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## Peairtach (Sep 21, 2010)

Some people can also just be afraid of being in a position where they "lose" an (apologetic) argument.

There is nothing wrong in the intelligent - or less intelligent Christian - saying "I don't know."

Also some of us may know many of the arguments, but still we are not "natural" apologists like some others, because _we are not quick on the draw_ in ordinary one-to-one argument with unbelievers.

Some of us may find the internet an easier place to discuss things with unbelievers because we are given time to gather our thoughts together.

Although we should be able to give a reason for the hope that is in us, the Lord understands, and we should understand, that we're not all going to be marvellous apologists. 

Some are just quicker-witted in conversation than others.

Heated arguments about the Truth with unbelievers - especially loved ones - can lead to mental, emotional and spiritual depletion even for those who have been in the faith for a long time. Therefore you need to be as wise as a serpent and as gentle as a dove in how and when you get involved in such activity.

_"Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." (Matt 10:16, ESV)_

_"Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you." (Matt 7:6)_

_To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:.............a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;(Ecc 3:1-7)_


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## EverReforming (Sep 21, 2010)

As has been said, don't get hung up on heavy apologetics just yet. Study the word, get grounded in your faith and understanding. However, if someone asks you a question and you don't know the answer, there's nothing wrong with saying "I don't know." If its important then you can find the answer, but a lot of times the other person is just throwing up a smokescreen to try and derail you.

_What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” 13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? 1 Corinthian 1:12-13 (ESV)_

Don't get too hung up on whether its the teachings of Calvin, or of any other man. As good as Calvin is, he was still a man. Study the Bible first and foremost, and pray for wisdom and understanding. Seek out the advice and counsel of elders at your church, and search out solid Biblical writers and commentaries to help with your understanding, but above all else is scripture and prayer. Scripture is your testing ground.

_If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5 (ESV)_

Don't be afraid to study the Bible for fear it may turn out you were wrong about something. Its through prayer and Bible study that we truly begin to learn how wrong we are in so many areas of our lives and that we completely and utterly miss the mark through our sinfulness and were it not for the grace of God there would be no redemption for any of us.


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## louis_jp (Sep 21, 2010)

James,

I had a somewhat similar experience to yours, although not as bad as you describe. I was saved out of a nominal Roman Catholicism, without ever really confronting the differences between us and them. Several years ago I ran into some brutal Romanist apologetics and about freaked out. I thought I just might have missed some key foundational concept, and now my faith was in vain. I was also afraid that I couldn't possibly know everything, and in the meantime I would be in serious error. What got me out of my panic was this:

1. The Lord has said that we do not seek Him in vain. (Is.45:19). "When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the Lord." (Jer.29:13-14). Seek and ye shall find, knock and it will be opened to you. If your faith is based on a sincere repentance and longing for God, then you are solid as a rock. You don't need to doubt. And you don't need to know everything first. God has been found by you. 

2. This right here: "I'm scared even to read Scripture, for fear that I'm going to read something and draw some wrong conclusions from it." What spirit is it that has you scared to read God's own word? Think about it. This is the spirit of your encounter with Romanism. Where does that spirit come from?

Rome is a false church, full of deception. Mimicking God's true servants, they become everything to every man, that they might win some to their idolatrous, man-centered synagogue of satan. You might not have all the answers, but you have God's word. Trust in that, and pray, and the Lord will keep you.


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## johnbugay (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi James -- I think the folks here have given some excellent advice, and I don't know how much I could add. 

I'm 50 years old now; I've been into and out of Roman Catholicism twice: first I left when about your age, having grown up in a Catholic family; I went back because I really didn't have a solid theological foundation. But I left again at about age 40 after having been involved with Opus Dei and some other really "in" Catholic groups.

Eventually, I came to understand my discomfort there as the leading of the Holy Spirit, who was convicting me for day-to-day Catholic things such as receiving communion or even walking past a statue. Don't discount His leading. 

2000 years of church history is a long time, and the Roman church has had a long time to craft what may seem to many to be a fairly winsome story: there are literally zillions of facets that can be spun one way or the other. 

But Louis is right. Rome is a false church, full of deception. 

I don't have much time to write right now, but be assured, there are a lot of folks who would be happy to talk through some of these issues with you.


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## Pilgrim Standard (Sep 21, 2010)

iacobus said:


> There's a lot I don't understand about Scripture, even fundamental things like justification



Give "The Doctrine of Justification" by James Buchanan a look see. It is an excellent book on the subject in my opinion.

The book is divided into two sections. The first is the History of the Doctrine of Justification begining with the OT and the second section is the Exposition of the Doctrine of Justification.


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## iacobus (Sep 21, 2010)

Thank you so much to everyone for your wonderful comments and advice. I feel a lot like Louis was describing. I as saved out of nominal Catholicism and wasn't exposed to it much until after I was saved. There are things I was taking for granted that I recently realized I couldn't because they were being thrown at me, and terminology that I was only recently exposed to; the big ones being "perspicuity" and "forensic". It came as a big surprise to me when I found out that a Romanist can see the word justify and think it means infusion; likewise when I found out that they don't believe in perspicuity.

Thank you all for the work that you do. It was largely through the work of the guys over at Beggars All and Thoughts of Francis Turretin that I got out of the epistemic crisis I was having for a while, and some earlier threads I started on the board. It actually took me a while to stop reading catholic sites and start reading through other sites, and for a long time I would get scared if I saw that the last comment on a post was a negative. My firend tried to point out to me that people on Catholic apologetics websites drop out after a while and use that as evidence against me, and I don't know why that stuck. Later I realized that it simply gets tiresome arguing in circles after a while about why we believe in Scripture.

It is true that Rome is clever in trying to distract us. Before my friend agreed to meet with me, he tried to confuse me by asking me why I should repent if I'm already saved, and because I hadn't really been exposed to the question before, it threw me off, and I gave an answer hat wasn't really satisfactory to either of us. I realized that it was ignorance fed by stuff he had been reading on a website that caused him to ask it of me. He went on some long tangent about an infinite number of Christ's sacrifices, and it took a while to figure out that what was missing was a proper distinction in one's status and one's sanctification. I found the source of where he got the argument, and it made me wonder if the people there never really cared to think deeply about their reformed roots before they went off and put their faith in philosophy and Catholicism, or if they're deliberately preying on people that they know are susceptible to potshots. I know that there are Catholics who have more fundamental disagreements with our faith, but all the emphasis on Sola Scriptura, history, and little side issues like repentance, seems more predatory than anything else. I also wonder how much they know their own theology, seeing as they turn to apologetics right after they take the plunge. I've been learning that trying to learn what is right by first learning what is not right is not always the best approach., although it does help to clarify.

To what Richard was saying, he wasn't a family member, but he was a dear friend who came to me for advice one day and who I shared the gospel with. I was very hopeful that he would come to Christ, but he took the newfound faith he had in Jesus and funneled it into the Church he grew up in. He spends all his time now arguing with people online. I wrote him a final farewell with a passage from Romans on it with no return address, and I pray the Lord might show him His mercy. I thought it best to let go, since it was spiritually draining me and he wasn't one of the closest friends I'd had and still keep in touch with (they're all believers), but it has still been very difficult to let go of someone who I had hoped for a long time would come to the Lord while I knew him.

Thank you to Dudley for offering to help me figure with my questions specifically about Catholic theology, and I will no doubt consult you in the future. I'd like very much to get grounded in my own understanding before I examine the "other side" anymore. I have a few exegetical questions relating to Romans 5, but I think those will get sorted out in time. It is, as Louis said, fear of not understanding and compounding errors even as I study that has gotten hold of me, but I will pray and keep pressing forward anyway.

Thanks again everyone.

- James

PS I'm gettiing involved with the MacLaurin Institute here in Minneapolis, and am currently exploring three churches. I should have a decision either this week or next week as to which one to begin membership classes at. I've also joined up with Reformed University Fellowship, which I believe is run by the PCA.


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## Philip (Sep 21, 2010)

James,

Hear this now from someone who has been interested in philosophy and theological issues for some time: don't base your faith on an argument. Individual parts of your faith may be grounded in arguments, but your faith as a whole is grounded in God Himself. You may not be able to explain your reasons for faith to an unbeliever to his satisfaction, but that doesn't mean that they aren't there or that they are unreasonable. When you make the unbeliever your standard of proof, you have doomed your faith.

Similarly, when you make proof to an RC your standard of proof, you have doomed your belief in the reformed faith.


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## Peairtach (Sep 21, 2010)

*James*
_Before my friend agreed to meet with me, he tried to confuse me by asking me why I should repent if I'm already saved,_

The reasons that we exercise renewed faith, repentance and obedience after we're justified is because 

(a) We still have the presence of sin after we're justified. Although justification and adoption are settled at the moment of true faith and although our full salvation is secured, justification (and adoption) are only aspects of the broader concept of "salvation" which also includes sanctification, perfection and glorification at death and the resurrection.

(b) We're told to in the Bible.

(c) God is still displeased with our sin after we're justified

_And when the mourning was past, David sent and fetched her to his house, and she became his wife, and bare him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD (II Sam 11:27)_

(d) Ongoing faith, repentance and renewed obedience is the way of progressive sanctification.

There is at least one other thread on this in the archives.


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