# Recommendations: for men about women



## ClayPot (Dec 13, 2009)

As a present, my wife would like me to read a book for husbands about wives. What she has in mind is probably something like, "What wives wish their husbands knew about women", but I'd really prefer not to read James Dobson and would like to read something from a reformed perspective. Any recommendations?


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## Skyler (Dec 13, 2009)

Does Song of Solomon count?


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## Dragoon (Dec 13, 2009)

Good Christians, Good Husbands? Leaving a Legacy in Marriage & Ministry
The Christian Lover: The Sweetness of Love and Marriage in the Letters of Believers
Beloved Bride: The Letters of Stonewall Jackson to His Wife


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## Wayne (Dec 13, 2009)

_Each for the Other: Marriage As Its Meant to Be_, by Bryan Chapell.


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## Dragoon (Dec 13, 2009)

I don’t know your age or how long you have been Marriage or even if this addresses your wife’s concerns, but I find that the best way to learn about Marriage relationships is not from a book but from those that have been married for 60 or so years that are in our churches, they are a wealth of information and you can ask them questions unlike a book. So my best advice to you is inviting some senior couples over for dinner with the known intent of talking about marriage and chat away. 

Hope that is useful


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## Mushroom (Dec 13, 2009)

A wife asking a husband to read a 'marriage book' is the equivalent of a husband asking a wife to read a 'diet book'.

Love her as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for her. She should honor you as Sara honored Abraham, calling him 'lord'.

Go to the scriptures and before the throne _together_. All else is vanity.

But then, I'm just that kinda guy.


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## Ask Mr. Religion (Dec 14, 2009)

Why not have a conversation about the "whys" of your wife's request with her? What is it she hopes that you will garner from your reading that she is unable to state or is unasked about?

AMR


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## QueenEsther (Dec 14, 2009)

Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Husband Needs to Know by CJ Mahaney


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## ClayPot (Dec 14, 2009)

Of course. Though the last time I told my wife her nose was like the Tower of Lebanon, it didn't go over so well!

-----Added 12/14/2009 at 07:48:18 EST-----



Dragoon said:


> I don’t know your age or how long you have been Marriage or even if this addresses your wife’s concerns, but I find that the best way to learn about Marriage relationships is not from a book but from those that have been married for 60 or so years that are in our churches, they are a wealth of information and you can ask them questions unlike a book. So my best advice to you is inviting some senior couples over for dinner with the known intent of talking about marriage and chat away.
> 
> Hope that is useful



We've been married three and a half years as of Friday, have a 22-month-old son, and my wife is 28 weeks pregnant. This seems like good advice.

-----Added 12/14/2009 at 08:00:32 EST-----



Brad said:


> A wife asking a husband to read a 'marriage book' is the equivalent of a husband asking a wife to read a 'diet book'.
> 
> Love her as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for her. She should honor you as Sara honored Abraham, calling him 'lord'.
> 
> ...



My ultimate goal is to become more Christ-like, as he is the ultimate example. But Peter commanded husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way, which I don't always know what to do. A book that would help to do that isn't any more vanity than picking up a systematic theology book. Granted, I do understand your point that there is no shortcut; I need to work hard to grow in holiness and become more like the perfect bridegroom Christ.

-----Added 12/14/2009 at 08:04:21 EST-----



Ask Mr. Religion said:


> Why not have a conversation about the "whys" of your wife's request with her? What is it she hopes that you will garner from your reading that she is unable to state or is unasked about?
> 
> AMR



An important question. In summary, she would like me to become more sensitive, gentle, understanding, etc. Though this ultimately boils down to my holiness, some of the challenge is understanding how I can best encourage her and respond to her. When my wife says she feels like a bad mother, I can go into a long exposition of Romans 8:1 to remind her that, "Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." That may be helpful, but probably, a hug and reminding her of why I think she is a good mother will have a more lasting impact. Sometimes I get this, sometimes I don't. My wife would just like me to continue to study how I can better love her really.


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## ChristopherPaul (Dec 14, 2009)

Brad said:


> A wife asking a husband to read a 'marriage book' is the equivalent of a husband asking a wife to read a 'diet book'.





What diet book would you recommend?


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 14, 2009)

Joshua - 

My favorite husbanding book is "The Complete Husband."

I add this part based upon my experience in my own marriage and in my counseling...

If your wife is prodding you to "get a clue," then chances are she herself has need of a book on being a godly wife.


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## Soonerborn (Dec 14, 2009)

2 books which my wife and I have profited from were: 

The Exemplary Husband (Stuart Scott)

The Excellent Wife. (Martha Peace)

These are two separate books, one for the husband and one for the wife. But they are written in a way where the chapters correspond so it makes for great discussion.


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## ClayPot (Dec 14, 2009)

SolaScriptura said:


> Joshua -
> 
> My favorite husbanding book is "The Complete Husband."
> 
> ...



Thanks for the book recommendation. And though I'm sure my wife could benefit from books about being a godly wife, in her defense, her request was given in a respectful manner to a husband who really does have a lot of deficiencies. But maybe a joint reading project wouldn't hurt . . .


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## py3ak (Dec 14, 2009)

Brad said:


> A wife asking a husband to read a 'marriage book' is the equivalent of a husband asking a wife to read a 'diet book'.



Maybe, but that kind of faux pas is a perfect opportunity for practising what Paul preached - that even Christ pleased not himself. 

I don't know of any books on marriage that I would strongly recommend: probably _Good Christians, Good Husbands_ by Doreen Moore is the closest thing I know of to a good book about being a husband. But I think you are to be commended, Joseph, for not taking offense at the suggestion and for being willing to listen: that was one of the worst things about Nabal, that he was such a fool that one couldn't speak to him.


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