# Redneck Valentines Day poem



## lynnie (Feb 14, 2011)

This seems to be all over the internet so I have no idea who wrote it. We are Yankees but I cracked up laughing anyway...

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The Redneck Valentines Day Poem

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds.......IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR


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## AThornquist (Feb 14, 2011)

I'm putting this on Facebook.


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## Berean (Feb 14, 2011)

Too good! Happy Valentines Day, Lynnie.


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## kvanlaan (Feb 14, 2011)

Well smack me in the mouth and call me happy - I'm readin' this one over our dinner tonight. It's a romantic evening at the D&D Diner this evening in Jarvis, Ontario. It's the fanciest place in town, and you know a place is upscale when their china cabinet contains not only a Dale Earnhardt commemorate plate, but also an Alan Jackson commemorative plate. (The food is totally awesome! And no sawdust on the floor!)


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## Curt (Feb 14, 2011)

We Maine rednecks liked it, too.


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