# Explaining Calvinism to loved ones?



## gordo (Jun 5, 2011)

Hey chaps! For the first time this weekend I was able to discuss Calvinism/Reformed Theology with my wife. She was not very receptive to the say least. The discussion ended with "I'll believe what works for me and you believe what works for you."

Her main points of dispute were;

1. Why evangelize if God has already predestined the elect and reprobate?

2. Why do so many Christians say that God loves everyone and offers his salvation as a free gift to accept. What's the point if they are not elected to God's grace?

I went on to explain as best I could. I am new to Reformed theology so I listened and quoted some verses, but overall could not answer her questions. I remember reading somewhere that the current contemporary view that people have to accept Christ is un-biblical. If anyone could offer some advice that would be great. 

It also doesn't help that we attend a Baptist church where the preacher today was using many lines about free-gifts and accepting the gift, etc.

Thanks!!


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## Andres (Jun 5, 2011)

1. God uses evangelism as the means to bring about His ultimate purpose, the salvation of His elect. 
2. There are two calls in the offer of salvation - 1) the general call, which is to all men that they need to repent of their sins and place their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. 2) the effectual call, which is God actually calling His elect to salvation. Men can and often do resist the first call. The elect cannot resist the effectual call for it is a work of God. If we could resist and overpower God's will, then that would make us God.

Is your wife a reader? Perhaps she would enjoy R.C. Sproul's classic, _Chosen by God_. In fact, if you haven't already, I would strongly encourage you to read it yourself first, and then pass it along to her.


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## Kim G (Jun 5, 2011)

I'd suggest that you read the Scriptures together without pushing a Calvinism agenda. Now that she has heard the doctrines of grace, they often jump out of the text and she may notice them. That's how my husband and I came to embrace both Calvinism and covenant theology . . . while reading Galatians. It didn't match up with what we believed, so we had to change what we believed. Then we started seeing references in Romans, 1 Peter, Ephesians, etc. It's everywhere, and we had to embrace it.


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## Michael (Jun 5, 2011)

1. The real question is: why evangelize if God is not sovereign?

2. The gospel is a free gift. You pay nothing for your salvation. Christ pays all. Thus God gets all the glory in salvation...but God is also glorified in delivering justice to those who reject the free gift to stand before him in their own merit. Regardless, it must be preached.

I would also suggest reading the book Andrew mentioned. Ultimately it is very tempting as a newly Reformed believer to just dump everything at once in these types of "convincing" discussions. Take it slow. Perhaps just focus on the atonement. What exactly did Christ accomplish on the cross? Search the scriptures. Pray together. God will connect the dots as he sees fit.


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## gordo (Jun 6, 2011)

thanks. all of you! good responses. 

you are all correct. my goal now is to get her to read the scriptures herself and see 'it'. that is what led me to the truth of scripture. i argued with a Calvinist and went to the Bible to disprove him. hehe, I came back to him as a somewhat as a Calvinist myself.

but yes. I will encourage her to read the Bible more herself. I will also look into the R.C Sproul book. I have read several of his books and like them alot. 

but yes. you are all correct in taking it slow and letting her discover the truth.

thanks again. I would appreciate you're prayers 

gord


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