# being unequally yoked



## Bladestunner316

Ah i forget the passage from Paul but he does speak about being unequally yoked with unbeleivers. Now does this mean that I should not be friends, associate, live with etc....

blade


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## Puritan Sailor

[quote:fc841e513d][i:fc841e513d]Originally posted by Bladestunner316[/i:fc841e513d]
Ah i forget the passage from Paul but he does speak about being unequally yoked with unbeleivers. Now does this mean that I should not be friends, associate, live with etc....

blade [/quote:fc841e513d]

The verse is in 2 Cor 6:
11 O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. 12You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. 13Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open. 
14Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 
16And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.

I believe the context is refering to going to the pagan temples to fellowship with unbeleivers. But I'm sure it could apply to your situation. It certainly is not a positive impact on your faith to live with an unbeliever. When I had unbelieving roomates long ago, those were very trying times for me. I had to defend my ways many times. Now, perhaps this helped them out in the long run, because I got to plant a few seeds, and I suppose it forced me to sharpen my apologetic too. But I certainly benefited much more when I had Christian roomates. The fellowship was sweeter, and we had no problem praying together. Doesn't mean all problems went away. But at least we were still &quot;family&quot; and had a bond with which to work out our disagreements stronger than our lease.


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## Bladestunner316

Good Advice Puritan Sailor

blade


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## exscentric

Ya, cain't witness to em ifen you don't spend time wif em, however, they can sure drag a person down spiritually if you let them - if you spend a lot of time with them.

I think it relates to strong ongoing relationships, marriage, business etc. I've seen several mixed arrangements in business that usually doesn't work real well - as in partnerships. Conflict usually comes along and it is ruff for the believer to maintain Christian principles.

As to marriage, I personally have never seen a mixed marriage that worked well, though I&quot;m sure some do. It really puts a strain on an already work intensive centered relationship.


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## wsw201

This is from Chapter 24 of the WCF.

[quote:f2f88e8e9a]
III. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent.[5] Yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord.[6] And therefore such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters: neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are notoriously wicked in their life, or maintain damnable heresies.[7]
[/quote:f2f88e8e9a]

One of the Scripture verses used [7] is 2 Cor 6:14. It would appear that in regards to marriage, one should not marry outside of the Reformed faith or are there marriages outside the Reformed faith that are acceptable?


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## Puritan Sailor

[quote:c188c515e2][i:c188c515e2]Originally posted by wsw201[/i:c188c515e2]
One of the Scripture verses used [7] is 2 Cor 6:14. It would appear that in regards to marriage, one should not marry outside of the Reformed faith or are there marriages outside the Reformed faith that are acceptable? [/quote:c188c515e2]
Would this mean you couldn't marry a reformed individual who perhaps was not a member of a reformed church yet?


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## C. Matthew McMahon

Practically, a Reformed beleiver would a &quot;nutcase&quot; to marry a Christian he &quot;loved&quot; without having likemindedness in their theology.

My wife does not understand everything I understand. And I do not understanding everything she does in the way she does it. But we are both Reformed. I could not imagine what life would be like if she was an Arminian. And then, to openly committ myself to her knowing that she was would be devesating on our marriage, church life, devotional life, friendships, fellowship, and on, and on.

God was wise to tell us not to mix and match with such things. Just practically it does not work, and even if it did work to a certain level, that's all it would be - superficial to a great extent. How could a Reformed beleiver pour out his soul to his Arminian wife about the sovereignty of God in a desperate situation??

In any situation, then, there seems to be annexed exstensions to the practical outworking of such unions.


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## wsw201

[quote:ac3485ecf4]
Would this mean you couldn't marry a reformed individual who perhaps was not a member of a reformed church yet?
[/quote:ac3485ecf4]

I would think as long as they were Reformed in their beliefs it would be ok. But could you marry someone who had Arminian beliefs?


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## brymaes

Would any of you paedobaptist gentlemen court a Baptist girl, or vice verse? Would this breed too much conflict?

I only ask because I have 2 sets of couple friends who are doing just that. In both cases its a paedobaptist man dating a Baptist girl.


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## wsw201

[quote:710eec06bc][i:710eec06bc]Originally posted by SharperSword[/i:710eec06bc]
Would any of you paedobaptist gentlemen court a Baptist girl, or vice verse? Would this breed too much conflict?

I only ask because I have 2 sets of couple friends who are doing just that. In both cases its a paedobaptist man dating a Baptist girl. [/quote:710eec06bc]

Actually my wife was a nominal Catholic when I met her :shocked: But God showed her the light before we got married. Her mother and sister did &quot;novinas (sp?)&quot; for 2 years after we got married.

But we have had the reverse situation in our church, where our Reformed young women have been courted and married Baptist men!


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## mjbee

I wish I'd been posting for a long time so ya'all would know how to take me. I'm usually trying to be humerus in a profound sort of way. So here goes: Catholics and Methodists and Arminians, OH MY! If I only had a heart...instead of a scalpel to split hairs with. I can't recall ever meeting anyone with a big red E (for elect) tattood on their forehead. Ya just never know. No don't get romantically involved with a Hindu. but...charity, please?:yes:


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## Bladestunner316

Can I date a girl from my old Dispensational/arminian church best girl I know.

blade


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## Puritan Sailor

[quote:d6b7011e4b][i:d6b7011e4b]Originally posted by Bladestunner316[/i:d6b7011e4b]
Can I date a girl from my old Dispensational/arminian church best girl I know.
[/quote:d6b7011e4b]

Date her? Maybe. Marry her? Not yet. If she becomes reformed then think about taking things more seriously. But if she remains Arminian, then you will have a shaky foundation in your marriage so it's best to nip it in the bud before anything gets serious. 
My wife was Arminian when I met her. But she had become reformed by the time we started dating.


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## pastorway

The Bible says not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

So if the person is a Christian, there is nothing Biblically to prohibit pursuing a relationship.

Part of that relationship should of course be Bible study. Disagreements might come up, but you do not need to give a girl a &quot;reformed checklist&quot; to make sure that she is suitable to pursue. 

It is good to be likeminded, but it is not required Scripturally that you both be in the same denomination with the same exact thoughts on everything. In fact, how boring if you agree on everything! Someone said if two people agreed on everything then one of them in unecessary!

Phillip :smug_b:


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## rembrandt

PW, then they would be forced (most likely) to attend seperate churches, unless one of them wants to be extremely unhappy.

Rembrandt


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## Bladestunner316

PS and PW,
good advice I will take inot consideration. there are two things that scare me God(his wrath hell and such) and woman.I dont understand woman they are a mystery.

blade


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## wsw201

[quote:7aef8f6541]
I dont understand woman they are a mystery. 
[/quote:7aef8f6541]

That'll preach!!!


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## cupotea

There are many &quot;unequal&quot; elements that can affect a marriage -- or other relationship. However, if both parties love the Lord out of a sincere heart, the differences can be managed acceptably.

I would hesitate to marry someone who did not share my philosophical, spiritual, and political thinking. 

My wife was a Dispensational when we got married but I did not know that much about it then. As we grew together, the Lord brought both of us to a true understanding of the nature of dispensationalism, Arminianism, etc. Because we both wanted to please God, making the necessary adjustments in our thinking was not all that difficult.


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## twogunfighter

My wife and I were both equal in Dispensational baptistic theology when married. Now I have moved much faster into reform than her. Much theological and practical conflict. Submission is difficult enough for a woman without asking her to submit to something that she thinks that the Bible does not teach. Avoid if you can.


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## Bladestunner316

i think Ill avoid woman alltogether


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## mjbee

Nathan, you are entitled to your wrong opinion.


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## a mere housewife

*Expert advice from the Christian bookstore*

Blade, try thinking more like a bus. 

(Don't avoid them: Run over them)


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## Alan

*Married to Arminian, worshipping apart*

Hello, all:

I and my wife were married as dispensational fundamental baptists. However, the Lord showed me much that was in error in such theology, but my wife has remained in that camp. We have decided to worship apart, though I continue to pray that the Lord will turn her heart to receive the truth of His grace. While things are not IDEAL, I would still say that our relationship is strong. But, I don't think that if I was starting from scratch and was still single, that I would pursue her because of such fundamental differences. But such is that lot that God has given me. I just live my Calvinism by loving her as Christ loves the church.


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## Bladestunner316

mere wife,
Hey I would but my car is broken down

Alan,
You know I will pray for you and your wife it msut take alot of love to do something like that.I mena I could never imagine a marriage working for a Christian and a Pagan but even the theological divide is a tough one.

blade


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## BlackCalvinist

I think in context (there's the key word), 2 Cor. 6:14-18 deals with marriage to unbelievers. A regenerated person (Arminian, Dispensational or otherwise) is still a believer. The Spirit of God still dwells in them, regardless of their errant theology.... just like the Spirit of God still dwells in all of you amill and postmill folks despite your wrong view on eschatology 

All jokes aside, I wrote an article on the issue a while back while I was still 'reforming'. Enjoy, pick apart, etc....

http://www.theologicallycorrect.com/studycenter/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=19


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