# Is Ben a clod for buying his wife...



## SolaScriptura (Dec 13, 2010)

Ok, it's time for the annual "Is Ben a clod" thread.

I'm not into buying my wife cutsie things that serve no purpose. I buy my wife functional gifts. I'm a good gifter, that is, I give good gifts. In almost 14 years of marriage my wife will tell you that I've never given a gift that flopped. 

But this is the first year that my wife has hinted that she might appreciate some new jewelry. Pfft.

This year, I'm getting my wife a nice knife set. An _uber_ nice knife set. 

What say you? Am I a clod?


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## goodnews (Dec 13, 2010)

SolaScriptura said:


> Ok, it's time for the annual "Is Ben a clod" thread.
> 
> I'm not into buying my wife cutsie things that serve no purpose. I buy my wife functional gifts. I'm a good gifter, that is, I give good gifts. In almost 14 years of marriage my wife will tell you that I've never given a gift that flopped.
> 
> ...



I don't know if I'd call you a clod, but I would call you brave. Of course, I'm (according to my wife) a bad gift giver with good intentions.


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## TaylorOtwell (Dec 13, 2010)

My wife says "No Way!"... She is into the functional gifts, though she says jewelry every once and a while would be nice.


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## Phil D. (Dec 13, 2010)

A clod? Perhaps not. But I'd say VERY brave, given the nature of the gift your giving to a woman who really wanted jewelry...


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## Damon Rambo (Dec 13, 2010)

If my wife asked for jewelry, and I got her knives, I am afraid I would be wearing some jewelry...piercings, that is.


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## au5t1n (Dec 13, 2010)

I can't answer the poll because I think that's a nice gift, but I still think you're a clod. 

Here's an idea: Knives with jewels in the blades!


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## Pergamum (Dec 13, 2010)

My wife knew what she was getting into up front when she married me. I made it a point to get her a cheap engagement ring and an even cheaper wedding ring. I bought her flowers sometimes, but she knows that buying something ornamental and decorative that cost 20 bucks and dies 4 days later is frivolish.

Hooray for functional gifts. When the next recession happens, all the gaudiness might drain away from America.


(p.s. I did buy my wife a rolling pin for one birthday.....please, don't do that).


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## PuritanCovenanter (Dec 13, 2010)

Ben was born a Clod. Was raised a Clod. Will Die a Clod. LOL

I heard a Baptist say the same thing one time. I was born a Baptist. I was raised a Baptist. I will die a Baptist. LOL

Maybe they are related. LOL Excepts, Ben's side of the family is Presbyterian. 

Ben, You better go buy your wife a Mink or a Diamond. I am sure she will like the knives as she would a new Sweeper. Needs are Needs. But your wife deserves above and beyond and you know it. She has done a lot with and without you and for you, in your presences and absences. 

It better be over 1 Carat also. LOL


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## T.A.G. (Dec 13, 2010)

booo! get her what she hints at


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## LeeJUk (Dec 13, 2010)

Buying knives in this situation is a) suicide b) gonna disappoint your wife quite a bit if he intentionally hinted she wanted jewelry.


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## au5t1n (Dec 13, 2010)

Did you mean to post this in a public forum, by the way?


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## seajayrice (Dec 13, 2010)

Ben, why not swing for the fence and get her a push reel mower?


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## calgal (Dec 13, 2010)

Knives are useful but get her something sparkly too if your budget can swing it (earrings are useful sparkly things that don't cost a mint).


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## JBaldwin (Dec 13, 2010)

I'm with Calgirl. Buy her the knives, but go invest in a reasonably priced pair of ear rings that she would like. I'm a tough cookie, I like functional gifts. In fact, I would be happy if my husband bought me some more ammo for my handgun. However, I still love the gesture of a ear rings or a necklace. And this is a good time to find good quality jewelry for reasonable prices.


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## he beholds (Dec 13, 2010)

Since one of the very first threads that I read here a few years ago was, "Is Ben a jerk for not paying for his kids' college education, even though he could afford to save if he wanted to?" I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you can afford to buy knives AND jewels. 

I love practical gifts. In fact, I think last year I voted you weren't a clod (though I think I did vote you were a jerk the time before...) But knives? That's not me-practical. Knives aren't something that will really make my life all that much easier, nor help me do something that I like to do, but better. Knives totally say to me, "A man picked this." As opposed to getting a really sweet, expensive mixer or something. That says to me, "My husband knows that my old mixer is fine and saw no reason for buying this, except that he wanted to buy me something that I'd never splurge on." If I needed knives, I'd have no problem buying knives. A really cool, extra-gadgety mixer I'd never allow myself to buy. So I think there are levels of practical. Knives may be on your wife's level. But since I think that is so not a fun-practical gift, I'd say, throw in the jewels, as well!


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## Jen (Dec 13, 2010)

I like my husband's working of gifts: something he (I) want(s) but would feel too guilty to buy for himself. Given both our tendencies for _loving_ kitchen things, this sort of thing could apply to a really nice set of knives. We both made up wishlists for our respective family members (who never know which books we want, etc.), but we also both deviated from said wish list for each other's gifts (and then had to send our gift ideas to my mum to make sure that we weren't getting each other the same thing, which is a real danger for us).

Following his rule of gift giving, he's seriously won. Last year he got me the piano sheet music for the Final Fantasy 8 soundtrack - by far the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever gotten me. Ever. Though as a wedding gift to me, he got a little Swarovski figurine for my collection. He gave it to me apologetically explaining that he hadn't really had time to put much thought to it. What he (still) doesn't know is that even the thought of that little tortoise nearly reduces me to tears–the only one who's ever given me Swarovski stuff has been my mum, and to have my husband give me one for our wedding day was just highly symbolic to me and meant (and still means) ever so much.

This is a rambly, round-about way of saying, "I dunno. It depends on one's wife." But there's definitely a lot of room for totally non-functional and highly sentimental, and I don't think that in the giving of gifts that should be discounted too quickly.


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 14, 2010)

austinww said:


> Did you mean to post this in a public forum, by the way?


 
Sure. My wife isn't on the PB....

---------- Post added at 06:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:23 AM ----------




seajayrice said:


> Ben, why not swing for the fence and get her a push reel mower?


 
Because in my house the lawnwork is clearly defined as man's work. Please note: I define a "clod" very differently from a "jerk."

---------- Post added at 06:31 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:25 AM ----------




he beholds said:


> Since one of the very first threads that I read here a few years ago was, "Is Ben a jerk for not paying for his kids' college education, even though he could afford to save if he wanted to?" I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you can afford to buy knives AND jewels.



Well, not when you consider the priciness of the awesome blades I'm getting my wife, the cost of 5 kids' presents, extended family's stuff, 3 mini-vacations over the next two weeks, and my recent aquisition of a super cool MacBook Pro.



> But knives? That's not me-practical. Knives aren't something that will really make my life all that much easier, nor help me do something that I like to do, but better.



You mean to say that you don't do any cutting in your kitchen? Spoken like someone whose been blissfully using low quality knives all her life. If you think Iron Chef America grade knives won't make your life in the kitchen easier, then you simply must not have ever used great knives. They DO make a difference... (And fortunately, my wife is aware of this.)


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## seajayrice (Dec 14, 2010)

Ben, might I presume you have already purchased these blades? How will you keep the edges?


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 14, 2010)

seajayrice said:


> Ben, might I presume you have already purchased these blades? How will you keep the edges?


 
She can hone them herself, but once a year we'll have them professionally done.


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## seajayrice (Dec 14, 2010)

I'd suggest this tool to go with the set. :: Spyderco Product Details ::


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## BJClark (Dec 14, 2010)

> You mean to say that you don't do any cutting in your kitchen? Spoken like someone whose been blissfully using low quality knives all her life. If you think Iron Chef America grade knives won't make your life in the kitchen easier, then you simply must not have ever used great knives. They DO make a difference... (And fortunately, my wife is aware of this.)


 
Knives like that are something my husband would enjoy getting as a gift....me, not so much...

So are you clod? No, I suspect, you will probably buy your wife Both, because you love and cherish her...even if the knives are the more expensive of the two gifts...

Many people don't take 'hints' very well, and that you can hear when she 'hints' at something she wants is a good thing...I can take hints..but personally, I don't LIKE Hints..don't hem haw around about it---just be honest and tell me..


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## JennyG (Dec 14, 2010)

If she was needing knives, you should have bought them straight away and not made her wait for Christmas,!  which does look a bit cheapskate.
Anyway you can get very pretty jewelry that doesn't cost a fortune. I suggest you get a lady to help you choose. And get lots.


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## Skyler (Dec 14, 2010)

Give her the knives and a card with 1 Timothy 2:9 printed on it.


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## puritanpilgrim (Dec 14, 2010)

> (p.s. I did buy my wife a rolling pin for one birthday.....please, don't do that).



I would be in trouble for that one.


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## TexanRose (Dec 14, 2010)

I happen to like functional gifts (if someone bought me a functioning dishwasher, I would be THRILLED, especially if I got to pick the make/model) and I do understand the value of a good knife, though I don't like the big sets of knives, because all you really need is one really good chef's knife. That said, if someone is specifically hinting that they would like one thing and you instead get them another....hmmm.


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## nicnap (Dec 14, 2010)

Well, thankfully I already had really high quality blades when my wife and I got married. So, I know their value in the kitchen. Ben, you are not a clod for getting those blades. What you should do, is surprise her with the jewelry. Wait a few months, and pop out a necklace or ring ... no reason, just to give it to her. THAT would make you not only not a clod, but would put you into the brilliant category.


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 14, 2010)

nicnap said:


> What you should do, is surprise her with the jewelry. Wait a few months, and pop out a necklace or ring ...



Well, half the year is very expensive for me - but ripe with opportunities to lavish various gifts upon my wife - because I've got Christmas in December, our Anniversary in January, Valentine's Day in February, and her birthday in March... a month off in April, and then Mother's Day in May.

So I'm sure I'll work jewelry into the picture - probably for our Anniversary.


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 14, 2010)

I like the fact that most of you don't think I'm a clod.


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## PuritanCovenanter (Dec 14, 2010)

SolaScriptura said:


> I like the fact that most of you don't think I'm a clod.


 



> (Mat 7:13) Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
> 
> (Mat 7:14) Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.



Majority thought is not necessarily the way to go Ben. You might be headed toward destruction if you get her knives only. LOL


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## Tripel (Dec 14, 2010)

Maybe you are a clod (whatever that is), but I don't think your gift-giving is a problem. Keep it up.


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## C. M. Sheffield (Dec 14, 2010)

It all depends on your wife. If she wants functional gifts, then get them for her. If she doesn't appreciate that kind of stuff, then don't. My wife doesn't care for jewellery and prefers functional gifts. We are pretty open about gifts at Christmas though. We tell each other specifically what we would like and that's pretty much how it goes.


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## earl40 (Dec 14, 2010)

"Is Ben a clod for buying his wife..."

How much did she cost? I am still paying for my wife and I see no end in sight.


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## Montanablue (Dec 14, 2010)

This is not that difficult. 

When you're getting a gift for someone you love, you buy something that you think would please them. If your wife would most like the knives, you are not a clod. If she would most like a piece of jewelry, you are a clod. From everything you've said about your wife, I highly doubt she wants you to break the bank getting her diamond tiara. She sounds like an extremely gracious and kind woman. (The story you told about her and your children bringing you lunch the other day was just so lovely - what a fantastic spouse). So buy her something you genuinely think will bring her joy.


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## Edward (Dec 14, 2010)

SolaScriptura said:


> This year, I'm getting my wife a nice knife set.



If she wants jewelery, you might look at knife sets with rounded ends instead of sharp points.


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## Laura (Dec 14, 2010)

What Kathleen said. If she's hinting for jewelry, get her that first, and save the knives for a later occasion. (You wouldn't be talking about Shun knives, would you?)


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## CharlieJ (Dec 14, 2010)

Ben, inspired by your post, I ordered a really nice knife for my wife today. (I bought her other stuff, too.)


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## Scottish Lass (Dec 14, 2010)

You're not a clod, but jewelry should make an appearance sometime between now and Mother's Day (as you've already said it might). I like functional gifts, and in this economic spot, it's a reasonable/practical thing to do. If she'll appreciate them (and you for getting them), then you're fine.


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## rexfire (Dec 15, 2010)

SolaScriptura said:


> I like the fact that most of you don't think I'm a clod.


 
Hmmm, It appears that most of the women that have responded are going the other way of what the men have suggested. I would go with what she is hinting at. The functionality of the jewelry is to reaffirm to her that you are listening to her and to what she wants/needs etc... For instance, I am getting my wife a North Face coat although she already has one. I don't get it, but it is what she wants so.....


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 16, 2010)

rexfire said:


> SolaScriptura said:
> 
> 
> > I like the fact that most of you don't think I'm a clod.
> ...


 
She already has one?

I'd tell her what I told my wife once... in the words of the Rolling Stones...

You can't always get what you want... but if you try, sometimes, you might just find you get what you need.


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## he beholds (Dec 16, 2010)

SolaScriptura said:


> rexfire said:
> 
> 
> > SolaScriptura said:
> ...



Well, does she truly NEED the expensive knives any more than she NEEDS jewelry? Unless she's been totally neglected as far as kitchen materials go, I'd guess the knives are not a necessity. So if you are truly getting them to gift her with, then you should put her first. If you know her and know that when she says she wants jewels she really wants more knives, then kudos to you. 
Also, is Christmas in your family typically about fulfilling needs, anyway? In my family it's not really. We aren't too extravagant, but we do buy things that surpass the need category. I *do* think it is totally appropriate to have need be a requirement for Xmas gifts, though! We just aren't totally there.
My friend told me yesterday the Victorians said, 
"Something to eat,
Something to read,
Something to play with,
Something they need."
I like that model.


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## Augusta (Dec 16, 2010)

Let me get this straight, you got a Mac book pro just because, or was that your xmas present? Yet, your wife gets knives, the better to cook for you with, for xmas? Something doesn't smell right. I voted clod.


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## AThornquist (Dec 16, 2010)

SolaScriptura said:


> This year, I'm getting my wife a nice knife set. An _uber_ nice knife set.


 

German knives are pretty _uber_.  But my family does have a set of Wusthof knives and they are amazing. Just maybe not if your wife wants something else...


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## seajayrice (Dec 16, 2010)

The question has philosophical implications. Is a man something he is not? Is Ben a Clod for giving knives or is Ben a Clod giving knives.


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## kvanlaan (Dec 18, 2010)

Why not start a poll on 'why is Ben a clod'? We may uncover incredible insights into Ben's soul and general behaviour. (How many selections are allowed in a poll?)

By the way, I bought my wife a set of Henkels knives for Sinterklaas. She loved them, because they make her life much easier in cooking for the masses. But she is mostly sweetness and light, and looks past a lot of my shortcomings. Its like there's a rusty Hyundai Pony in the driveway, and she somehow believes that our car could win the Daytona 500. It's pretty cool.


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## Joseph Scibbe (Dec 18, 2010)

I bought my girlfriend a sudoku book, a board game, and a recipe book from Moleskine. I put thought into each and are mostly practical. There is nothing wrong with practical gifts but of she asked for jewlry then you might look into it. If you can spare an additional $60 then check this out:Necklaces, Pearl Necklaces, Gold Necklaces, Diamond and More from Kay Jewelers


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## Notthemama1984 (Dec 18, 2010)

You are not a clod if you also maxed your SGLI so that she can buy some jewelry when you "disappear."


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## Berean (Dec 18, 2010)

Chaplainintraining said:


> You are not a clod if you also maxed your SGLI so that she can buy some jewelry when you "disappear."


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## EKSB SDG (Dec 19, 2010)

Hey Ben!

I don't know if you're a clod or not, but I was also thinking of getting my wife a set of knives. Can you tell me more about this "_uber_ nice knife set" that you're getting her? (a website link would be helpful)
BTW, I'd get her the jewelry too -- especially if she's telling you that that s what she'd like.


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## Eoghan (Dec 19, 2010)

I thought about buying a fountain pen by Mont Blanc. Very briefly. The thought that I might lose something the cost of my car put me off. Add to that the problem of avoiding damage or theft! Knives are used to chop up veg, slice bread and carve chicken. If I owned your knives I would find them a constant worry. I use my favorite knife to slice apples and cut cheese. If the knife had a really razor sharp blade then I would also find it dangerous.

How do these knives function differently than a good quality sharp knife from the local hardware store. My favorite FP is a Parker 25 - it writes perfectly well and probably costs $30 - a Montblanc at $3000 would be indistinguishable.


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 19, 2010)

Chaplainintraining said:


> You are not a clod if you also maxed your SGLI so that she can buy some jewelry when you "disappear."


 
Brother, if/when I disappear... my wife will be a wealthy woman.


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## Notthemama1984 (Dec 19, 2010)

solascriptura said:


> chaplainintraining said:
> 
> 
> > you are not a clod if you also maxed your sgli so that she can buy some jewelry when you "disappear."
> ...



bwahahaha


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## JonathanHunt (Dec 19, 2010)

Sounds like you need a Manslator, Ben. I voted 'clod'. TAKE THE HINT man. Your life is in danger!


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 19, 2010)

I'm disheartened by the sudden increase in the number of votes to the effect that I'm a clod.

I was leaning towards the knives for Christmas and the jewelry for our anniversary (which is on January 1).

---------- Post added at 02:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:56 PM ----------




EKSB SDG said:


> Hey Ben!
> 
> I don't know if you're a clod or not, but I was also thinking of getting my wife a set of knives. Can you tell me more about this "_uber_ nice knife set" that you're getting her? (a website link would be helpful)
> BTW, I'd get her the jewelry too -- especially if she's telling you that that s what she'd like.



Bruce - Please check your inbox... I've sent you a PM.


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## DMcFadden (Dec 19, 2010)

9And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
10For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
*11If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?
12Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?
13If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?*

I "believe" that one of the paraphrases renders vss. 11-13 thusly:

"You husbands--if your wives ask for jewelry, do you give them a knife (even a really really expensive knife) instead?" Or if they ask for earrings, do you give them a muffler for a '68 Chevy? Of course not! So if you sinful clods know how to give good gifts to your wives, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

All I can say is: Let him who has ears to hear, pay attention to this saying. Or, else, he may find himself without ears when his wife tests out her new knives.

Actually, if your wife likes things like this, knock yourself out. I would, however, tell her that she will be getting something "more personal" in a week or so. That might soften any disappointment in opening the package, and heighten the possibility that she will receive it in the spirit in which it is given.

BTW, most men are clods. Our wives forgive us anyway.


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## DMcFadden (Dec 19, 2010)

My wife just read your post and had this addendum: "If they are really sharp, at least he won't feel anything, when he's cut." 

She also noted that, generally, "if you have to ask," you are."

Ben, please don't judge her harshly. After being married to me for 36 1/2 years, much of her seemingly endless supply of patience has been already spent.


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## Edward (Dec 19, 2010)

Upon further reflection, I'd like to change my vote from 'no' to 'yes'. Get the jewelry AND a set of Ginsu knives.


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 19, 2010)

Does it change anything to know that I've spent the past few years listening to my wife say "I hate these knives!" almost every time she's used them? And that it is only in the past 6 weeks that she's said, "You know... I haven't had any updates to my jewelry collection in about 5 years..."

The crazy thing is that when I was in Afghanistan I bought 10 karats of rubies. I had them appraised when I got back to the States... and their value was more than double what I paid. Nice! Anyway, I've got these loose stones and I've never had them set. I should probably do that soon...


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## Southern Presbyterian (Dec 19, 2010)

Ben,

I've spent the last 25 years listening to my wife say "I hate my hair" on a pretty regular basis, but you can bet your sweet bippy that I'm not going to buy her a wig as a gift.


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## seajayrice (Dec 19, 2010)

I want to vote some more.


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 19, 2010)

Hey Norm... nice knives in your avatar...

---------- Post added at 11:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:45 PM ----------




seajayrice said:


> I want to vote some more.


 
Hey, this isn't a Democrat site... we don't believe that you should vote early, and vote often. 

---------- Post added at 11:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:46 PM ----------




Southern Presbyterian said:


> Ben,
> 
> I've spent the last 25 years listening to my wife say "I hate my hair" on a pretty regular basis, but you can bet your sweet bippy that I'm not going to buy her a wig as a gift.


 
Good point.


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## OPC'n (Dec 20, 2010)

get her some jewelry and make her smile then in a month get her the knives and kiss her...........she's worth it.


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## Berean (Dec 20, 2010)

SolaScriptura said:


> Hey Norm... nice knives in your avatar...



Thanks, Ben. Not as nice as yours I'll bet. Just pullin' your chain a bit.


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