# How to deal with inlaws?



## DOSU (Jan 1, 2012)

Can anyone recommend any Christian books on how to deal with inlaws? I rather not go into details online but I could use some biblical advice. 

Thank you.


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## jwithnell (Jan 1, 2012)

Dave, I don't know of any specific book, but have found that when tensions or difficulties arise, it is easy to ignore what the Bible already gives us. (Pointing a finger at myself here!) You inlaws are to be loved as your neighbors, seen as created in the image of God, seen as ones that Jesus died for if they are believers, people of (a kind of) authority, people due patience, kindness, humility and so forth through 1 Cor. 4 and following. As I write this, I am convicted regarding someone who has really vexed me lately!


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## asc (Jan 1, 2012)

Sorry i also don't have any book advice. 

But personal advice that's worked well for my family:
1. Make sure you and your wife are completely unified in all issues related to the parents.
2. Honor your in-laws as your own parents.
3. When conflicts arise, always talk it over with your spouse first. Sometimes it's just a miscommunication or a differences in the way different families do things. But when a problem arises that needs to be addressed with the parents have their own child bring up with them alone (ie you bring up issues with your parents and your wife bring up issues with her own parents). I suggest as much as possible avoiding any direct negative interactions with your in-laws.

Hope it helps.


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## toddpedlar (Jan 1, 2012)

I'm unaware of any books that specifically deal with the issue, but the way to "deal with inlaws" I think has already been well described above. I would only add to Alex's list two items at positions -2, -1 and 0. 

-2) Pray for the Lord to humble your heart. 
-1) Study the Scriptural commandments of the young to those of the previous generations.
0) Pray again for the Lord to humble your heart.

It is the easiest thing in the world to be prideful and arrogant when inlaws are perceived to wrong you. This I know from personal experience, I am sad to say, and I still need to practice steps -2, -1 and 0 before any encounters with my inlaws. Little else seems to matter than these three foundational points.


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## DOSU (Jan 2, 2012)

jwithnell said:


> Dave, I don't know of any specific book, but have found that when tensions or difficulties arise, it is easy to ignore what the Bible already gives us. (Pointing a finger at myself here!) You inlaws are to be loved as your neighbors, seen as created in the image of God, seen as ones that Jesus died for if they are believers, people of (a kind of) authority, people due patience, kindness, humility and so forth through 1 Cor. 4 and following. As I write this, I am convicted regarding someone who has really vexed me lately!



What do you mean when you say "people of (a kind of) authority"?

Thank you for your response and everyone that has responded to this post. I don't get a chance to post on here and I'm new to this since I'm so busy with family and dental school.


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