# Friendship with the world



## satz (May 15, 2004)

Do you guys think it is wrong to have close and intimate friendships with unbelievers? ( i mean just friendships, not romantic off course..)

Is the only reason we would want to fellowship with non-chrisitians in order to witness to them?


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## Puritan Sailor (May 15, 2004)

We must be friendly with those in the world. That is how we help bring them to Christ. But you must also remember that an unbelieving friend does not have much in common with you. The fellowship you have with them is only based on a worldly foundation. This lower foundation can help as a springboard to make aquaintances and provide opportunities to share the gospel. But, you can never enjoy a deep satifying friendship with them like you can a fellow Christian. The unbeliever has no right understanding of the struggles of this life, nor any sure grounds of hope. They do not understand your battle with sin, nor your love for Christ, becasue they do not partake of the same Spirit as you. When you struggle with these issues there is nothing an unbeliever can help you with in this respect.


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## Bladestunner316 (May 15, 2004)

I find it best to avoid close friendships with unbeleivers it can only help.

blade


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## rembrandt (May 16, 2004)

How about friendships with Arminians? I have found that they have been unprofitable as well. They have a diminshed view of the Fall and Redemption. They cannot encourage you by sharing in the Sovereignty of God.

However being a friend is not always about our profit. Jesus was friends of those who were utterly worthless. Lets just not get cultic about it... should we be concerned about them &quot;contaminating&quot; us? I think the stronger Christian would be able to handle these types of relationships better.

For me though, I don't like to be around pagans [i:7d67a61d8c]ever[/i:7d67a61d8c]. I think that that is a fault of mine and that I need to grow in grace. I think we need to get over our scruffles and become incarnational. 

I always used to strike up conversations with people who seem rather out of touch with society. But I don't do that anymore. I feel that I have failed.

I have been thinking about the &quot;conditions&quot; for friendship, and I don't see any. Though I do see conditions for CLOSE friendship (as was said in earlier posts). We can be their friend without being friendly to their ways and being friendly to the world.

Rembrandt


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## rembrandt (May 16, 2004)

I realize that we don't have anything in common with them. But did Holy Jesus have anything in common with sinners and tax collectors? 

I have a hard time believing that I have anything in common with anybody who doesn't study theology. But thats pathetic. If we have anything in common, it is that we are both alive and live on the same planet.

Rembrandt


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## satz (May 17, 2004)

thanks for the answers folks

what do you guys think about this,

Say i already have quite a few friends who are unbelievers, now prehaps that was folly on my part, but what should i do now?

Should i try to minimize contact with them? or continue to see them in the hope that i will have a chance to share the gospel with them? Or should i not wait for a 'chance' and just go and tell them about God's coming judgment...though i will probably look like a madman...

what do u think?


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## ReformedWretch (May 17, 2004)

Depends.

Do they influence you at all?

I have some unbelieving friends but I am not influenced by them in ANY way. I take a bold stance for Christ with them at all times.


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## rembrandt (May 17, 2004)

[quote:5b2b90013b]thanks for the answers folks 

what do you guys think about this, 

Say i already have quite a few friends who are unbelievers, now prehaps that was folly on my part, but what should i do now? 

Should i try to minimize contact with them? or continue to see them in the hope that i will have a chance to share the gospel with them? Or should i not wait for a 'chance' and just go and tell them about God's coming judgment...though i will probably look like a madman... 

what do u think?[/quote:5b2b90013b]

Christianity is not a cult...

Regretably, I lost contact with all my friends after I became a Christian. I gave most of them the hell, fire, and judgment speech. I don't know if we would have been friends long anyways though because they were opposed to religion.

This is a good situation actually, unless they negatively influence you.

Rembrandt


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## Harrie (May 17, 2004)

I wrote to you in the letter not to associate intimately with fornicators; [b:d3a8f086ae]yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then you must go out of the world.[/b:d3a8f086ae] But now I have written to you not to associate intimately, if any man called a brother and is either a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to eat. - 1 Corinthians 5:9-11

I think it is wrong if you break your relationships just because they are not christians. Having friendships with unbelievers has nothing to do with being a friend of the world. THat is the case if you sin with them. 

Paul only commanded that we should not associate with men who call themselves christians and sin willfully. We may eat and assiociate intimately with unbelievers, according to the text I quoted above.


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## Ianterrell (May 17, 2004)

Paul,

How do you interpret Paul's warning:

&quot;Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals&quot; 1 Cor 15:33.

And then Solomon's proverb &quot;how can two walk together lest they agree.&quot;


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## rembrandt (May 17, 2004)

[quote:c01e469e9a][i:c01e469e9a]Originally posted by Ianterrell[/i:c01e469e9a]
Paul,

How do you interpret Paul's warning:

&quot;Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals&quot; 1 Cor 15:33.

And then Solomon's proverb &quot;how can two walk together lest they agree.&quot; [/quote:c01e469e9a]

&quot;Company&quot; and &quot;walking together&quot; must be defined. Fellowshipping with an unbeliever is impossible (or atleast, should not be done). I believe that &quot;company&quot; and &quot;walking together&quot; is fellowshipping. Now, what does &quot;fellowshipping&quot; mean? Fellowshipping is sharing together under the truths of God in a communal context. Now, is fellowshipping the same thing as friendship? &quot;Friendship&quot; must be defined. Friendship could mean &quot;walking together&quot;, but does it always have to mean that much (we have already defined that &quot;walking together&quot; is close communal relations)? Are there [b:c01e469e9a]different levels of friendship[/b:c01e469e9a]? Friends don't always have to be in direct agreement. They do not have to have the same ideas of the world to share in a good game of golf, or to both love to watch football. Would that make them friends? I think so, but certainly not on the same level as a more intimate fellowship.

[quote:c01e469e9a]&quot;Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals&quot; 1 Cor 15:33.[/quote:c01e469e9a]

Certainly if a believer hangs out with unbelievers all the time, this would happen.

Rembrandt


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## alwaysreforming (May 17, 2004)

*Pagan Friends*

Can we be friends with non-Christians? Of course we can. Can we be good friends with them? Yes, but with the limitations PuritanSailor put on them.

Why should we be friends with them? For witnessing? No, but for friendship sake alone, because they were made in the image of God and have a certain dignity and worth that comes with that and have something to offer us. We don't want to &quot;use&quot; people and befriend them only for &quot;witnessing.&quot; If you have something in common with an unbeliever, and this person is of good character and morals, and wise, and you can trust him/her, and if there is a great deal of affection between the two of you, then you've got yourself a good friend there!

Let's say I'm a cop. I'm a Christian and have a non-Christian partner. We've been riding together for 17 years. During this time we've had conversations about the Gospel, but he says he'd love to believe it but just can't seem to. He's been over to my house on holidays, was at my wedding, at my kid's birth, and is known as uncle Nick to my son. We've been through hell and back together: I was shot and he gave first aid; his kid died and I was there for him; we've been in fights with bad guys and I trust him at my side like I trust NO ONE else. We've cried together, laughed together, and been at each other's side through it all. Nick would die for me, if he had to. He's already proven it. Yep, I love Nick, a LOT! My wife loves him and his family as well. I sure wish he was a Christian, so we could have a friendship and fellowship that would last for all eternity. That would make me happier than anything. I pray for him a LOT! My wife does too!

Now, what can we say? Hey Chris, don't consider this guy your friend any more! He's a non-Christian and he's corrupting you! I shudder at the thought.


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## rembrandt (May 17, 2004)

[quote:5ebc3880df][i:5ebc3880df]Originally posted by alwaysreforming[/i:5ebc3880df]
Can we be friends with non-Christians? Of course we can. Can we be good friends with them? Yes, but with the limitations PuritanSailor put on them.

Why should we be friends with them? For witnessing? No, but for friendship sake alone, because they were made in the image of God and have a certain dignity and worth that comes with that and have something to offer us. We don't want to &quot;use&quot; people and befriend them only for &quot;witnessing.&quot; If you have something in common with an unbeliever, and this person is of good character and morals, and wise, and you can trust him/her, and if there is a great deal of affection between the two of you, then you've got yourself a good friend there!

Let's say I'm a cop. I'm a Christian and have a non-Christian partner. We've been riding together for 17 years. During this time we've had conversations about the Gospel, but he says he'd love to believe it but just can't seem to. He's been over to my house on holidays, was at my wedding, at my kid's birth, and is known as uncle Nick to my son. We've been through hell and back together: I was shot and he gave first aid; his kid died and I was there for him; we've been in fights with bad guys and I trust him at my side like I trust NO ONE else. We've cried together, laughed together, and been at each other's side through it all. Nick would die for me, if he had to. He's already proven it. Yep, I love Nick, a LOT! My wife loves him and his family as well. I sure wish he was a Christian, so we could have a friendship and fellowship that would last for all eternity. That would make me happier than anything. I pray for him a LOT! My wife does too!

Now, what can we say? Hey Chris, don't consider this guy your friend any more! He's a non-Christian and he's corrupting you! I shudder at the thought. [/quote:5ebc3880df]

:thumbup::thumbup: Very inspiring story...


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## workman (Jun 21, 2004)

[quote:8a3b76f168][i:8a3b76f168]Originally posted by alwaysreforming[/i:8a3b76f168]

Can we be friends with non-Christians? Of course we can. 

Can we be good friends with them? Yes, 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;but with the limitations PuritanSailor put on them.[/quote:8a3b76f168]
+1


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