# Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road ?



## BlackCalvinist

Andrew Bain (internet hypercalvinist) answers: The Chicken was going to cross the road anyway. If the chicken doesn't believe in limited atonement, it's reprobate. and if it believes that those who believe that folks who don't believe in limited atonement can be saved, it's reprobate. 

Greg Boyd answers: God didn't know the chicken was going to cross the road. He was just as surprised as you. While God knew that in his overall scheme, the road would be there, he left it as a free-will choice for the chicken to cross to road. 

Kenneth Copeland answers: Well, God told that chicken to cross the road. And by doing so, God was exercising His faith and it manifesting in that little clucker struttin' across the road saying 'I AM a little god.' 

Benny Hinn answers: I tell you the truth today, the Lord has sent a word... a chicken will cross the road... and speak in tongues. God is pouring out His Spirit on the chicken population and large groups of poultry are coming to Christ. A fresh annoin....er...basting! Send me money. 

Max Lucado answers: What a most beautiful picture of the Christian life we have, as our little chicken friend slowly and gingerly crosses the road - being careful to avoid the pitfalls and potholes which so plague our existence. Oh, the love of God poured out on this bird! 

Rick Warren answers: Well, this chicken found out his S.H.A.P.E. and realized that the farm life wasn't his purpose. He made a decision to leave his farm - just like the word of God says at Deut. 30 "I have set before you today, life" and the chicken took life and rolled with it. Now in the company of a new coop, he's free to exercise his gifts in the family of God and fulifill his purpose which drove him across the road in the first place.


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## fredtgreco

The Uberbishop (NT Wright) answers: in order to break free of outmoded Lutheran and Baptist categories, the chicken broke through the boundaries markers of chickendom and so long as the chicken is faithful to stay on that side of the road, he can have table fellowship with all forms of animals.


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## Poimen

> _Originally posted by fredtgreco_
> The Uberbishop (NT Wright) answers: in order to break free of outmoded Lutheran and Baptist categories, the chicken broke through the boundaries markers of chickendom and so long as the chicken is faithful to stay on that side of the road, he can have table fellowship with all forms of animals.



Brilliant!


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## Average Joey

Bill Bennet:Let`s say that what if more chickens were eaten?There would be less to cross the road.

ACLU:We should really consider taking the word "cross" out of this ,Why did the chicken "cross" the road joke.How about,"Why did the chicken progress to the other side of the road?"We don`t want any hidden Christian messages in this joke.

[Edited on 10-7-2005 by Average Joey]


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## turmeric

Charles Finney;
Actually, that chicken would never have crossed that road under the old measures, but with my new measures (such as the anxious coop) the chicken realized that it had to make a decision to cross that road, and now it can go on to perfection by making another decision...to be oven-baked and fried.


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## WrittenFromUtopia

Martin Luther: The chicken crossed the road to get to the Pub on the other side.

John Calvin: I would tell you why the chicken crossed the road, but such foolishness is not worth my time or concern.


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## Me Died Blue

*John Frame*: You know, we don't really need to remember any of the classic answers to why the chicken crossed the road, so let's all try and be really creative in coming up with a new answer.

*Cornelius Van Til*: To truly understand *why* the chicken _ultimately_ crossed the road, you must show that your worldview can intelligibly account for the concept of chickenness, the reliability of the chicken's senses (to know where the road was), the uniformity of nature (to allow the chicken to fully cross) and many other things. As we will see, only a Christian can consistently believe the chicken actually crossed the road, and furthermore, only a Christian can consistently ask that question in the first place.

*Gordon Clark*: Well, the chicken did not actually _know_ the road was there, since it cannot understand Scripture - therefore, it must have crossed it for some other reason. In order for us to understand why, we must have an axiomatic beginning and show that the notion of the chicken crossing the road is _coherent_ from those axioms. But since they can never be proven, we only know that the chicken crossed the road for sure in a fideistic way.

*John Robbins*: It does not matter _why_ the chicken crossed the road at this point, since that simple, isolated observation lets us know that it is a heretic anyway.

*Tim LaHaye*: The chicken crossed the road to serve as a sign to us that the Rapture is near.

*Abraham Kuyper*: The chicken crossed the road to demonstrate the wonder, sovereignty and glory of God in the many realms of life, such as natural creation (through the chicken's nature), man's constructions (through the road) and the realm of philosophy (through the concept of desire in the chicken).


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## Poimen

Chicken: Bawk!


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## Average Joey

> _Originally posted by Me Died Blue_
> [
> 
> *Cornelius Van Til*: To truly understand *why* the chicken _ultimately_ crossed the road, you must show that your worldview can intelligibly account for the concept of chickenness, the reliability of the chicken's senses (to know where the road was), the uniformity of nature (to allow the chicken to fully cross) and many other things. As we will see, only a Christian can consistently believe the chicken actually crossed the road, and furthermore, only a Christian can consistently ask that question in the first place.



It`s funny that his name is Cornelius.A presuppositional chicken.


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## Average Joey

Forrest Gump:He just felt like crossING.


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## crhoades

Mystic:


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## crhoades

PB/EPer: Chicken?!?! There's nothing in the Confessions about a chicken!

[Edited on 10-7-2005 by crhoades]


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## crhoades

John Bunyan: The chicken was trying to escape a hungry Pilgrim that was on his way to the celestial city.


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## gwine

Baptist chicken - there was a lake on the other side

Presbyterian chicken (young one) - it was raining lightly on the other side

atheist chicken - there is no other side


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## Average Joey

> _Originally posted by gwine_
> Baptist chicken - there was a lake on the other side
> 
> Presbyterian chicken (young one) - it was raining lightly on the other side
> 
> atheist chicken - there is no other side



Agnostic chicken - there may be another side

Jehovah`s witness chicken - to be one of the 144,000 chickens

Word of Faith chicken - if I donnot make it,I don`t have enough faith


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by WrittenFromUtopia_
> 
> 
> John Calvin: I would tell you why the chicken crossed the road, but such foolishness is not worth my time or concern.


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by Me Died Blue_
> 
> *Tim LaHaye*: The chicken crossed the road to serve as a sign to us that the Rapture is near.
> 
> .


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## bond-servant

This is great! LOL


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## pastorway

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> John Bunyan: The chicken was trying to escape a hungry Pilgrim that was on his way to the celestial city.



Was that a Pilgrim named Bo?







:bigsmile:


[Edited on 10-7-05 by pastorway]


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## PuritanCovenanter

Gerstner interpreting a 40 page small print thesis by Edwards..... "Because he was inclined by nature to do it."


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## VirginiaHuguenot

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> PB/EPer: Chicken?!?! There's nothing in the Confessions about a chicken!
> 
> [Edited on 10-7-2005 by crhoades]



Well, there isn't -- I checked!


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## Augusta

It is and eschatalogical road and the chicken is in an intermediate state of *now/not yet* crossing of the road.


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## turmeric

Baptist PB'er; There's nothing about a chicken in the LBCF either!

Arminian; Now that chicken will have to perservere or it may find itself on the original side of the road again!


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## RamistThomist

*Greg Bahnsen* To destroy humanism and to route the atheistic chickens.


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## RamistThomist

*Richard Weaver* To vindicate a fallen social order.
*Stonewall Jackson* To vindicate and deliver an invaded social order.


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## turmeric

R.C.Sproul; You know I can never get through a lecture without a little Latin-cur transit pullus via?


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## BlackCalvinist

@ the RC Sproul and latin!


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## BlackCalvinist

*Wayne Grudem*: The Chicken crossing the road is a fulfillment of the prophecy spoken by the farmer previously. This lends great support to the thesis of limited prophecy in the New Testament.

*Phil Johnson*:  As long as the chicken isn't trying to break into my house, he can cross any road he wants.

*Neil Clark Warren*: This chicken, like 21 million others, has discovered the love of his life on eChickenHarmony.com and is crossing the road to meet the love of his life.....

*John MacArthur*: The chicken is crossing the road because it repented of its' sins on the other side of the road and is coming BACK to the truth.

*Hank Hanegraaf*: The chicken's reasons for crossing the road can be most easily remembered using the acronym C.R.O.S.S., which points to the fact that the chicken made a free will decision to come to faith in Christ. I go into this in greater detail in my book 'Chickianity in Crisis', which documents the fakes, farces and fallacies of the entire chicken growth movement.


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## Poimen

Drunks with guns: *POW* Die chicken!


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## alwaysreforming

*Ross Perot: * Now, see, now that just sticks in my craw! You've got a bunch of PB'ers sittin around talkin about a chicken! You've got 37 replies from otherwise intelligent people and all they can talk about is a chicken! Well, it really is just that simple! A chicken without trade restrictions is free to open up a whole new exchange of corn for eggs! Can I finish?! Can I finish!? Can I finish?! Can I finish?!!!


*The Church Lady * Hmmmmm? That little chicken's feeling all plump and juicy! Wants to go to the other side to sow its wild oats??? I wonder who could've put that thought in his little chicken head? Oh, I don't know, who could it be...? I just can't think of a thing.... Could it be...... SATAN!!!


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## Peter

Great thread Kerry.


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## PuritanCovenanter

> _Originally posted by OS_X_
> *Hank Hanegraaf*: The chicken's reasons for crossing the road can be most easily remembered using the acronym C.R.O.S.S., which points to the fact that the chicken made a free will decision to come to faith in Christ. I go into this in greater detail in my book 'Chickianity in Crisis', which documents the fakes, farces and fallacies of the entire chicken growth movement.


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## Average Joey

> _Originally posted by puritancovenanter_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by OS_X_
> *Hank Hanegraaf*: The chicken's reasons for crossing the road can be most easily remembered using the acronym C.R.O.S.S., which points to the fact that the chicken made a free will decision to come to faith in Christ. I go into this in greater detail in my book 'Chickianity in Crisis', which documents the fakes, farces and fallacies of the entire chicken growth movement.
Click to expand...

 This was great!


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## Me Died Blue

> _Originally posted by Peter_
> Great thread Kerry.


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## gwine

> Arminian; Now that chicken will have to perservere or it may find itself on the original side of the road again!



Actually if it doesn't put forth enough effort (since God can't do it all) it might not get across. 



> Jehovah`s witness chicken - to be one of the 144,000 chickens



Which one is it gonna be? Whiiiiich one?


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## Me Died Blue

Southern Baptist: So it could be fried for the potluck!


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## BlackCalvinist

Hey, I just started it. You guys have added all the funny ones. 

You know this is going to be a blog entry, right ?


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by alwaysreforming_
> *Ross Perot: * Now, see, now that just sticks in my craw! You've got a bunch of PB'ers sittin around talkin about a chicken! You've got 37 replies from otherwise intelligent people and all they can talk about is a chicken! Well, it really is just that simple! A chicken without trade restrictions is free to open up a whole new exchange of corn for eggs! Can I finish?! Can I finish!? Can I finish?! Can I finish?!!!


The above is genius HAHAHAHHAHEHEHEHALOL Ross Perot's voice is ringing in my ears saying the above HAHHHEHEHA


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## Average Joey

Howard Dean: HE`S GONNA CROSS IN IDAHO,NEW HAMPSHIRE,NEW YORK,VIRGINIA,MICHAGAN,NEW MEXICO,CALIFORNIA,YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!


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## turmeric

Bill Clinton; It all depends on what you mean by "chicken" "cross" and "road".


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## Poimen

John Kerry: To get his medal of honor for his service in Vietnam!


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## Poimen

Jean Chretien: Dat is de, uh, collect the GST chicken?


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## Me Died Blue

> _Originally posted by turmeric_
> Bill Clinton; It all depends on what you mean by "chicken" "cross" and "road".



I think even more relevant is the question of what you mean by "the."


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## Poimen

Don King: The chicken had the multitude of infinitude in all Republican righteousness to pursue the punctiliaristic purchasing of a higher life!


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## turmeric

That's true - and since I was trying to parody R.C. Sproul earlier, could someone please correct my Latin? I don't know it and spent WAY too much time on the net yesterday trying to figure out how to say it. Barbarian language issues!


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## gwine

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side. (credit: Tom Gregg)

ooooooookaaaaay How about this one?

When a snail crossed the road, he was run over by a turtle. Regaining consciousness in the emergency room, he was asked what caused the accident. "I really can't remember," the snail replied. "You see, it all happened so fast."

I'll stop.


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by poimen_
> Don King: The chicken had the multitude of infinitude in all Republican righteousness to pursue the punctiliaristic purchasing of a higher life!


:bigsmile: you should have added, " and tune in tonight on pay per view, only $49.95 to see the chicken cross the road 







[Edited on 10-9-2005 by Slippery]


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## turmeric

Who is Don King?


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## alwaysreforming

> _Originally posted by Slippery_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by alwaysreforming_
> *Ross Perot: * Now, see, now that just sticks in my craw! You've got a bunch of PB'ers sittin around talkin about a chicken! You've got 37 replies from otherwise intelligent people and all they can talk about is a chicken! Well, it really is just that simple! A chicken without trade restrictions is free to open up a whole new exchange of corn for eggs! Can I finish?! Can I finish!? Can I finish?! Can I finish?!!!
> 
> 
> 
> The above is genius HAHAHAHHAHEHEHEHALOL Ross Perot's voice is ringing in my ears saying the above HAHHHEHEHA
Click to expand...


Keon,
Thanks for your discernment, my brother! I was hoping to get a few kudos but you're the only one who came through for me. I guess the others just weren't doing the voice right!


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by turmeric_
> Who is Don King?


you can't be serious hehehehe. Don King is a boxing promoter known for his outlandish verbose statements, lawsuits, eccentric personality and vindictive business dealings.

He nearly bankrupted Zaire hosting the Ali-Foreman fight, and is said to have swindled Mike Tyson and other boxers out of millions.

Surely didn't you see him stumping for Bush on CNN during last year's election?  He claims to be a Republicrat 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_King

Don King
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Don King.
Enlarge
Don King.

Don King (born December 9, 1932), is a flamboyant American boxing promoter.

He gained fame in 1974 by sponsoring the boxing match between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman in Zaire, popularly known as "The Rumble in the Jungle." He consolidated his position as an influential promoter the next year by sponsoring a third match for Ali against Joe Frazier in Manila, the capital of the Philippines, which King named the "Thrilla In Manila."
*
Prior to entering the world of boxing, King was a numbers racketeer in Cleveland, Ohio. In 1954, King shot and killed a man attempting to rob one of his gambling houses; the death was ruled a "justifiable homicide," despite the fact that King had shot him in the back. In 1966, King was convicted of stomping to death an employee who owed him six hundred dollars. Although he then embarked on a campaign of hush money payments and witness intimidation, he was convicted of second degree murder and given a life sentence. The judge reduced the conviction to nonnegligent manslaughter. Some found this ruling suspicious, as it was made during a private meeting with King's attorney in the judge's chambers, without the presence of the prosecutor or a court stenographer. King has been investigated for possible connections with organized crime. During a 1992 Senate investigation King took the Fifth Amendment when questioned about his connection to mobster John Gotti. He has responded to these acts by calling them racist.*

Apart from Ali, Frazier and Foreman, he has promoted such boxers as Evander Holyfield, FÃ©lix Trinidad, Mike Tyson, Larry Holmes, Carlos De Leon, Wilfredo Benitez, Wilfredo Gomez, Roberto Duran, Julio Cesar Chavez, Juan Laporte, Edwin Rosario, Salvador Sanchez, John Ruiz, Hector Camacho, Christy Martin, Aaron Pryor, Alexis Arguello, Oscar de la Hoya, and many others.

In May 2003, King was sued by Lennox Lewis, who wants 385 million dollars from the promoter, claiming King used threats to pull Tyson away from a rematch with Lewis. This is one of several lawsuits King has gone through.

Don King is well-known for his eccentric behavior and outlandish style. His catchphrase is "Only in America!" He has a rather unusual hairstyle, and is fond of wearing loud, brightly colored clothing and lots of jewelry. He is also a very grandiose public speaker.

*In 2004, Don King became increasingly active in the re-election campaign of George W. Bush. Although a Democrat, King actively supported George W. Bush's re-election. He was at the 2004 Republican Convention and gave many media interviews.*




[Edited on 10-9-2005 by Slippery]


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## Michael Butterfield

> When a certain shameless fellow mockingly asked a pious old man what God had done before the creation of the world, the latter aptly countered that he had been building hell for the curious.



Institutes 1.14.1 [p.1:160]


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## PuritanCovenanter

This is why the chicken crossed the road.





Without a gun I would run.

[Edited on 10-9-2005 by puritancovenanter]


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## pastorway

If the teeth don't fit we must acquit.....

(do chicken even have teeth??)


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## pastorway

by the Way, a specific chicken named Mike was known to cross the road frequently looking for HIS HEAD!!






Mike the Headless Chicken



> September 10th, 1945 finds a strapping (but tender) five and a half month old Wyandotte rooster pecking through the dust of Fruita, Colorado. The unsuspecting bird had never looked so delicious as he did that, now famous, day. Clara Olsen was planning on featuring the plump chicken in the evening meal. Husband Lloyd Olsen was sent out, on a very routine mission, to prepare the designated fryer for the pan. Nothing about this task turned out to be routine. Lloyd knew his Mother in Law would be dining with them and would savor the neck. He positioned his ax precisely, estimating just the right tolerances, to leave a generous neck bone. "It was as important to Suck-Up to your Mother in Law in the 40's as it is today." A skillful blow was executed and the chicken staggered around like most freshly terminated poultry.
> 
> Then the determined bird shook off the traumatic event and never looked back. Mike (it is unclear when the famous rooster took on the name) returned to his job of being a chicken. He pecked for food and preened his feathers just like the rest of his barnyard buddies.
> 
> When Olsen found Mike the next morning, sleeping with his "head" under his wing, he decided that if Mike had that much will to live, he would figure out a way to feed and water him. With an eyedropper Mike was given grain and water. It was becoming obvious that Mike was special. A week into Mike's new life Olsen packed him up and took him 250 miles to the University of Utah in Salt Lake City . The skeptical scientists were eager to answer all the questions regarding Mike's amazing ability to survive with no head. It was determined that ax blade had missed the jugular vein and a clot had prevented Mike from bleeding to death. Although most of his head was in a jar, most of his brain stem and one ear was left on his body. Since most of a chicken's reflex actions are controlled by the brain stem Mike was able to remain quite healthy.
> 
> In the 18 MONTHS that Mike lived as "The Headless Wonder Chicken" he grew from a mere 2 1/2 lbs. to nearly 8 lbs. In a Gayle Meyer interview Olsen said Mike was a "robust chicken - a fine specimen of a chicken except for not having a head." Some longtime Fruita residents, gathered at the Monument Cafe for coffee, also remember Mike - "he was a big fat chicken who didn't know he didn't have a head" - "he seemed as happy as any other chicken." Mike's excellent state of health made it difficult for animal-rights activists to garner much of a following. Even now the town of Fruita celebrates Mike's impressive will to live, not the nature of his handicap. Miracle Mike took on a manager, and with the Olsens in tow, set out on a national tour. Curious sideshow patrons in New York , Atlantic City , Los Angeles , and San Diego lined up to pay 25 cents to see Mike. The "Wonder Chicken" was valued at $10,000.00 and insured for the same. His fame and fortune would earn him recognition in Life and Time Magazines. It goes without saying there was a Guinness World Record in all this. While returning from one of these road trips the Olsens stopped at a motel in the Arizona desert. In the middle of the night Mike began to choke. Unable to find the eyedropper used to clear Mike's open esophagus Miracle Mike passed on.



[Edited on 10-9-05 by pastorway]


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## Ravens

John Kerry: The chicken was just changing positions. Sometimes its easier that way.

George Bush: Well, heh, I could build a fence to keep all those chickens out, but chances are I'd lose the poultry vote.

Bill Clinton: If its my kind of chicken, it's lookin' for a hefty Polish hen.

Baseball Players Union: We're aware that the instances of underage road-crossing has been escalating in the avian population, and that's why we're proposing a hard-as-nails, tough, 57-Strikes and You're Out plan when it comes to road crossing. And after the 57th strike, the chicken gets a special hearing with the commissioner to see whether it really has to leave the barn.

Terrell Owens: T.O. doesn't know about chickens, T.O. knows football. T.O. plays football. T.O. is football, and T.O. needs to be paid for football. I'm T.O. Have you noticed I'm T.O.? I'm Terrell Owens. I'm so lucky to be me. Don't you wish you were T.O.?

Open Theist: Well I don't know, but my guess is as good as G**'s. (Couldn't figure out whether that was inappropriate or not, sorry if it was).

Mormon: Oh it was just looking for the "other coup" that it mentioned while it was still with us? Here, read this book to find out all about it. Did we mention that we had strong family values, a good choir, and very shiny teeth?

Ozzy Osbourne: Uh-uh-h, n-hun, na na, Sharon, S-s-sharon, uh, u-u-u-u-uh, mmmmm, ma na , chicken, uh, Sharon, ma-na-u-ma-mu-nah, uhhhhhh, uh, chicken."

Ralph Nader: 

Oh sorry. I don't remember what he said. Does anyone ever really listen to him anyway?


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## Ravens

ESPN College Gameday announcers: Well, we're not entirely sure, but I'm sure there's something about this scenario that will serve as a segue into us talking about USC and Notre Dame, to the exclusion of every other team, state, and topic, for the rest of the show.


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## WrittenFromUtopia

> _Originally posted by Mudandstars_
> ESPN College Gameday announcers: Well, we're not entirely sure, but I'm sure there's something about this scenario that will serve as a segue into us talking about USC and Notre Dame, to the exclusion of every other team, state, and topic, for the rest of the show.



Is there anything more important this year in College Football history than the outcome of this game? No.


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by Mudandstars_
> 
> 
> Ozzy Osbourne: Uh-uh-h, n-hun, na na, Sharon, S-s-sharon, uh, u-u-u-u-uh, mmmmm, ma na , chicken, uh, Sharon, ma-na-u-ma-mu-nah, uhhhhhh, uh, chicken."


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## LadyFlynt

It's sad when a chicken thread can go on for 3 (+?) pages...


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## PuritanCovenanter

> _Originally posted by WrittenFromUtopia_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Mudandstars_
> ESPN College Gameday announcers: Well, we're not entirely sure, but I'm sure there's something about this scenario that will serve as a segue into us talking about USC and Notre Dame, to the exclusion of every other team, state, and topic, for the rest of the show.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Is there anything more important this year in College Football history than the outcome of this game? No.
Click to expand...


*USC is GOING DOWN!*


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## PuritanCovenanter

The Chickens will run when they see the colors Blue and Gold coming.


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## pastorway

*Disclaimer: This is in no way considered to be a college football political statement*

USC - United Separatist Chickens - can't be going _down_ because you get down off a _duck_. All you get from chickens is _cheap chopped chicken feathers_ - *achhooooo*.

(anybody else remember that episode of the Dick van Dyke show?)


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## Average Joey

William Shatner: The chicken.....crossed....the road......because.......he wanted to............gettotheotherside.


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## turmeric

McCoy; he's dead, Jim.


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## HuguenotHelpMeet

Martin Luther King, Jr. -- I have a dream that one day this chicken will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all chickens are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the chickens of former slaves and the chickens of former slaveowners will be able to cross the road together at a road of chickenhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert chicken state, sweltering with the heat of hot oil, injustice and oppression, will be transformed into a state where they ban KFC and Popeyes. I have a dream that my four chicks will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the fatness of their thighs but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.


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## pastorway

The Colonel: Why did the chicken cross the road? Why, to get Kentucky Fried, of course.


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by HuguenotHelpMeet_
> I have a dream that my four chicks will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the fatness of their thighs but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.


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## alwaysreforming

> _Originally posted by Average Joey_
> William Shatner: The chicken.....crossed....the road......because.......he wanted to............gettotheotherside.



Dude, that was hilarious! I love the "gettotheotherside" all lumped together!


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## lwadkins

George Bush: The chicken crossed the road to become the next supreme court nominee. Now the chicken is a very accomplished chicken, and you may not know the chicken, but i have worked with this chicken for many years. It was the first chicken hired by a Texas law firm and became the first chicken to head the Texas Bar Association. "Trust Me"


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## Average Joey

Greta Van Susteren: We have Geraldo Rivera standing by live in the area of the chicken crossing.Geraldo,are you there?Can you tell me why did the chicken cross the road?

Geraldo: Uhh yeah Greta I am here...well aaah....I am standing here aaah....the chicken just now aaah....crossed aaah.I don`t know aaaah why quite frankly Greta aaah.Back to you Greta.


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## Average Joey

Dick Morris: Because He Could.


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by Average Joey_
> 
> Geraldo: Uhh yeah Greta I am here...well aaah....I am standing here aaah....the chicken just now aaah....crossed aaah.I don`t know aaaah why quite frankly Greta aaah.Back to you Greta.


Dude you better ease up before someone chokes


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by lwadkins_
> George Bush: The chicken crossed the road to become the next supreme court nominee. Now the chicken is a very accomplished chicken, and you may not know the chicken, but i have worked with this chicken for many years. It was the first chicken hired by a Texas law firm and became the first chicken to head the Texas Bar Association. "Trust Me"



The chicken is a conservative evangelical


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## Calvibaptist

Rush Limbaugh: The chicken crossed the road to get away from all the tree-hugging, feminazi, mindless, animal-rights-wacko, liberals out there who run the big media and think that I am the most dangerous man in America.

Former DC Mayor Marion Barry: Chickens? I aint here to talk about no chickens! I'm here to talk about the poverty, the crime, keeping the kids off the streets!

Senator Ted Kennedy: Hiccup! I categorically deny seeing any chickens in the car when it sunk.


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## Average Joey

> _Originally posted by Slippery_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Average Joey_
> 
> Geraldo: Uhh yeah Greta I am here...well aaah....I am standing here aaah....the chicken just now aaah....crossed aaah.I don`t know aaaah why quite frankly Greta aaah.Back to you Greta.
> 
> 
> 
> Dude you better ease up before someone chokes
Click to expand...


I just think it`s hilarious how Geraldo talks when he is live on location.


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## Average Joey

Ann Coulter: How to talk to a Chicken,if you must.


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## ReformedWretch

99% of the Christians I know:

The Chicken crossed the road because he chose to! God didn't want him to, but He wouldn't interfere in the chicken's free will decision making ability. If we keep calling out to the chicken, buy the best feed, get us some chickens his age on this side of the road, and play some cooler music over here maybe he will come back!


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## WrittenFromUtopia

Augustine: I dunno, let me ask Plato.


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