# Fun Puns



## Reformingstudent (Sep 22, 2008)

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!


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## Kim G (Sep 22, 2008)




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## VirginiaHuguenot (Sep 22, 2008)

http://www.puritanboard.com/f52/humor-lexophiles-lovers-words-35268/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f52/anyone-pun-28871/


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## Marrow Man (Sep 22, 2008)

A just remember: Joan of Arc didn't quit; she was fired.

Thank you folks, I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.

BTW, I'm working on a sermon for Reformation Sunday (just before the national election) entitled, "The Audacity of Pope."


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## Herald (Sep 22, 2008)

Tom, I needed that this morning.


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## kvanlaan (Sep 22, 2008)

> The good friars were having a difficult time meeting the payments for the new belfry they'd put in the monastery, so they decided to open a flower shop to get a little extra cash.
> 
> They did so, and were very successful. Apparently, everyone in the village wanted to purchase their posies from these godly men.
> 
> ...




A personal favorite of mine.


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