# Funny things your kids have blurted out...



## Michael (Dec 22, 2009)

I have a "Daddy day" with my two boys today. I asked them what they wanted for lunch and they both agreed upon pizza--before one quickly clarified: *"But NOT the kind made with love!!"*

That's his way of saying he wants it from a restaurant, not home-made!


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## Soonerborn (Dec 22, 2009)

I have a 2 year old who is increasing his vocabulary every day. 

Whenever he does something he knows he shouldn't do, he runs at me, looks me in the eyes, and says (with a big smile), "NO PANK". Translated literally, this means, "NO SPANK"; or translated for its thought, "Please don't spank me". 

It almost works sometimes.


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## larryjf (Dec 22, 2009)

When going through the 10 commandments with my 6 year-old daughter i asked...

"Why is it wrong to kill somebody"

Her response...

"Because someone could get hurt"


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 22, 2009)

After just over 9 years of being a parent (in those 9 years we've grown to 4 kids with one more on the way...) my ALL TIME FAVORITE humorous line from my kids was during Christmas of '07 when we visited my dad and his wife at their home in KC...

We walk in and stand in amazement at their 10 ft tall Christmas tree that is so lit up that I can practically feel heat emanating from it. (Seriously - he puts on 9 25ft strands of C7 sized bulbs and 5 strands of the multi-colored mini-lights.) Under the tree my dad has not yet placed any gifts, BUT... there is a very large nativity scene with ceramic hand painted figurines. And the little baby Jesus is lying in the manger. 
My son Daniel gets a positively mortified look on his face, points at the nativity display like he's pointing at a criminal in a lineup, and in a completely horrified tone exclaims, "IDOLS!" Needless to say my dad and his new wife were not impressed.

But I was! 

HA HA HA!!!


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## SolaScriptura (Dec 22, 2009)

Joshua said:


> SolaScriptura said:
> 
> 
> > My son Daniel gets a positively mortified look on his face, points at the nativity display like he's pointing at a criminal in a lineup, and in a completely horrified tone exclaims, "IDOLS!"
> ...



It was, it really was. I still remember the few seconds after he cried out, "IDOLS!" HA HA HA... My dad's wife looks at him with a "what kind of family of freaks is this?" expression... My dad looks at me and my wife with a "what kind of rude behavior are you teaching this boy?" look... My wife is stumbling over shoes and coats to get to Daniel because he's frozen there with that hilarious look and he's still pointing, and I'm about peeing myself laughing so hard. PRICELESS! I hope that if I get alzheimers that this is one of the last memories to go.


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## TimV (Dec 22, 2009)

*Daddy, I peed*. And I looked down, and the floor under the pew was wet. I couldn't control my laughter even though it was the middle of the service.


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## Mushroom (Dec 22, 2009)

One of my daughters has a ... _unique_ perspective on things, and so will say things that are a little different. We've come to call them Leahisms. Mindy has a list of them. My favorite was once, as I was helping her climb out of the van, she looked around inquisitively, looked at me, and asked, "Daddy, is this now?"

Last night, as we were driving out to dinner, she looked out over a snow-covered cemetary and said, "Those graves sure are buried!"


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## SemperEruditio (Dec 22, 2009)

TimV said:


> *Daddy, I peed*. And I looked down, and the floor under the pew was wet. I couldn't control my laughter even though it was the middle of the service.



Oh...
*Peee*....
See?




Git it?


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## toddpedlar (Dec 22, 2009)

Here is the product of teaching our nine year old Abby and six year old Sarah ancient & biblical history with four-year old Rebekah and two-year old Naomi listening in. 

Last Saturday afternoon, Rebekah had a wooden block that she was playing with as though it were a rocket - and beside the rocket were some Playmobil bunny rabbits watching the take off. 

I'm sitting on the couch reading Caryl on Job or something, and one ear is listening to Rebekah making preparations for takeoff. 

Then, I hear "5.....4.....3.....2.....1..... Egyptians, BLASTOFF!"

I love that kind of thing


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## kjat32 (Dec 22, 2009)

A cute one happened the other day when I was sick in bed with a nasty cold.

Jonathan, my 5 yo, came in with the colander that he'd been playing with. Waving it over me he said "You're healed healed healed!" and then left. I didn't whether to laugh or say thanks.


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## Curt (Dec 22, 2009)

As the grandchildren visited with us a few months back, we heard this while we sat at the dinner table and the youngest (3 at the time) was being a little unruly. Older brother (10) leans over and says to younger brother: "we don't get away with that up here."


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## MikelKenn89 (Dec 22, 2009)

SolaScriptura said:


> After just over 9 years of being a parent (in those 9 years we've grown to 4 kids with one more on the way...) my ALL TIME FAVORITE humorous line from my kids was during Christmas of '07 when we visited my dad and his wife at their home in KC...
> 
> We walk in and stand in amazement at their 10 ft tall Christmas tree that is so lit up that I can practically feel heat emanating from it. (Seriously - he puts on 9 25ft strands of C7 sized bulbs and 5 strands of the multi-colored mini-lights.) Under the tree my dad has not yet placed any gifts, BUT... there is a very large nativity scene with ceramic hand painted figurines. And the little baby Jesus is lying in the manger.
> My son Daniel gets a positively mortified look on his face, points at the nativity display like he's pointing at a criminal in a lineup, and in a completely horrified tone exclaims, "IDOLS!" Needless to say my dad and his new wife were not impressed.
> ...



Brilliant!..ROFL!


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## tlharvey7 (Dec 22, 2009)

i was dragging my son out of a grocery store once.. he decided to scream "help! this aint my daddy!!"
he told me a couple years later that my brother in law taught him that.


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## Presbyterian Deacon (Dec 22, 2009)

When my son was 3 or 4, (he is 12 now) my wife left one night for choir practice. When I told him after some time, that it was time to go to bed, he looked at me and said:

*"I can't go bed. I nocturnal!"*

After some questioning, I found that my wife had been telling him about skunks and owls and other nocturnal creatures earlier in the day.

When my wife returned from choir practice and wanted to know why he was still up, I told her, "If you're going to teach him these things, you deal with it!"


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## Ne Oublie (Dec 22, 2009)

My 3 1/2 year old son looks at my daughter, who is almost 11 and beginning to flower a bit, while pointing and asks "Why do you have those? Are you going to feed some babies?"
My daughter not even blushing says "at some point, I suppose"


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## he beholds (Dec 22, 2009)

My 3.5 y/o son was lying in bed awake when I went to check on him once. I asked, "What are you thinking about?" He said, "How to build a zoo. We need some bricks."


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## au5t1n (Dec 22, 2009)

My parents overheard my little brother, 11 now, having an entire conversation with himself a couple years ago:

"Let's see, I want to buy a trampoline.
Well, that takes money.
I'll use a credit card!
No, that won't work.
Nevermind, nevermind!"

This conversation was just him talking to himself.


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## Laura (Dec 22, 2009)

kjat32 said:


> A cute one happened the other day when I was sick in bed with a nasty cold.
> 
> Jonathan, my 5 yo, came in with the colander that he'd been playing with. Waving it over me he said "You're healed healed healed!" and then left. I didn't whether to laugh or say thanks.



Has that child been watching TBN?


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## AThornquist (Dec 22, 2009)

My nephew is 23 months. When he and his momma were over at my house I was holding him and I asked him what his mommy says. He apparently was confused with the animal sounds I have been teaching him so in front of the family he responded, "Moooooooo!" 


-----Added 12/22/2009 at 05:35:57 EST-----

It was kind of funny earlier today at a restaurant. A little boy's face was turning bright red and he began to gag. His mom asked him what he was eating and he said, "A jalapeno!" She said, "Why are you eating that?!" While smacking his tongue and trying to breath he yelled back, "I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HOT!!" 

I laughed at him.


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## Wayne (Dec 22, 2009)

I'm frustrated. How do you post this picture? http://www.kaneva.com/mykaneva/PictureDetail.aspx?assetId=624171


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## Andres (Dec 22, 2009)

here you go.


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## Presbyterian Deacon (Dec 22, 2009)

There are many stories about my son in his younger years, here are two of my favorites:

When my son was age 3, I asked (in a whisper) one Sunday in church: "Do you know what sit still means?"

He replied quite loudly: "Do you know what *don't spank me *means?"
_______________________________

Shortly after the tragic events of September 11, 2001, my son (now 12) walked in our bedroom. My wife was crying. He asked if it "was because of the bad thing what happened to our country." She said yes it was and began to explain that "we" were going to war against terrorism.

He got a very worried look on his face...and realizing what he must be thinking my wife quickly explained that "we" meant "our country -- not Mommy or Daddy or you."

She was trying to explain it in a way that he would understand. She said, "This is a serious thing but I don't want you to be frightened"

All of a sudden, he started to laugh and roll on the floor. "That was so funny Mommy!" My wife asked what could be so funny about our country going to war? He replied, "A country can't go to war! It doesn't have any legs!!"

His concept of "our country" at that young age had been a map and a U.S.A. puzzle. Puzzles and maps, as we all know--do not have legs!


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## Wayne (Dec 22, 2009)

Thank you, Andrew. That was for Thornquist's benefit.


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## AThornquist (Dec 22, 2009)

Funny picture  A good fit, too!


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## Honor (Dec 22, 2009)

ok I have two... one was a funny thing my son said and one is something funny I said to my son....
my four year old loved to pat my belly when I was pregnant. one day almost to the end of the pregnancy he patted my belly and said "IS there a big baby in there?" "well" I said "Chloe's in there and she's not going to be really big, but she's in there." Oh" he says "so are there little babies in there?" as he pats my chest.

when my oldest son was a toddler he had an obsession with bouncy balls. We had them all over our house we had the giant double bounce balls and the tiny ones you got our of a quarter machine. the little ones he would carry with him wherever he would go. At church one Sunday he was in the nursery with me as it was my turn to help the ladies with nursery duty. At this same time my son was going through this phase where he would walk around with his hand in his pants. Why? I have no idea, fortunately he grew out of it. So when he decided to stick his hand in his pants in front of the ladies of the church I spoke without thinking because I was mortified. and what did I snap out?
"Isaac get your hand out your pants and go play with your balls."
(never had anyone prayed so hard for the Rapture in church before)
thankfully it was not terribly long after that we found another church.


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## turmeric (Dec 22, 2009)

Rich, where did you get that bug?


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## ClayPot (Dec 22, 2009)

My son is starting to learn to count to ten. He's doing pretty well, but doesn't like to say "5" between "4" and "6". My wife was working with him trying to get him to say "5" and he politely tells her "no thank you" (which is also something with him we've been working on).


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## kjat32 (Dec 23, 2009)

Laura said:


> kjat32 said:
> 
> 
> > A cute one happened the other day when I was sick in bed with a nasty cold.
> ...



You'd think so, wouldn't you??? That's what made it so funny to us - all we have is CBC on rabbit ears (Canada) and they will _never_ have healings on. Where'd he get it??? We attend a Mennonite church too. Kids!

Katherine


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## jogri17 (Dec 23, 2009)

TimV said:


> *Daddy, I peed*. And I looked down, and the floor under the pew was wet. I couldn't control my laughter even though it was the middle of the service.



What does a parent do in that situation?

-----Added 12/23/2009 at 06:11:32 EST-----



Ne Oublie said:


> My 3 1/2 year old son looks at my daughter, who is almost 11 and beginning to flower a bit, while pointing and asks "Why do you have those? Are you going to feed some babies?"
> My daughter not even blushing says "at some point, I suppose"



Sounds like her mother is doing a good job.


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## PresbyDane (Dec 23, 2009)

Well all my kid says yet is "Ja" for yes and "Næ" for no, the second one is actually a different way of saying no in danish a sort of "talking back" (roode) way of saying no, but still no. (it should be "Nej")

The funny thing is that in more than one occasion he has used both words at excactly the right time.
He is 1 year 2 months

At one point we were at a bible study and a preacher was giving a sermon type thing and at one point the preacher ask a REALLY retorical question to wich my son replied instantly with "Ja, Ja, JA!"

Which made everybody laugh out loud.
See I do not know if you do this in the US, but here in sundayschool we encourage children to answer "retorical" questions as a sort of affirmative psycology.

I can read from all this that you should proberbly have been there


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## Rich Koster (Dec 23, 2009)

I have one boy on my bus that has an attention span of 10 milliseconds. One day he ran off the bus yelling "I have no brain". The silence was deafening.


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## he beholds (Dec 25, 2009)

One day our (3 y/o) son was helping me put laundry away. He could not get the top drawer of a dresser open, so I told him, "OK, put it ON the dresser." 

He said, "I can't open it." 

I said, "ON top." 

He said, "It's locked." 

I started to get a little exasperated and I asked, "Sweetie, do you know what ON means?" 

His reply: "Honor your father and mother?"

My exasperation quickly expired with that answer!


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## Mindaboo (Dec 25, 2009)

One of my favorites from our daughter Leah was when we were standing among a group of neighbors and she looks up at Brad and says, "Daddy, are you my daddy?" I don't know what the neighbors thought, but it was funny to us.

Another time we had some friends over for dinner and our kids were upstairs playing. When I went to check on them I found a pile of dark hair that didn't belong to any of my kids. I picked it up and went and informed my friends that Emma was cutting her hair again. (She had been in trouble for this quite a few times before) They called Emma downstairs and she said, "I didn't cut my hair, William did it." So we called William downstairs and he says, "Emma told me to." Then Emma says, "Well, you said I couldn't cut my hair anymore, but you didn't say William couldn't do it!" We cracked up. It was very funny. Poor William didn't know he'd been set up. They were only like 4 at the time. It was cute.


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