# Had an "awkward" moment at Starbuck's last night....



## Constantlyreforming (Sep 16, 2011)

So, yesterday I was at Starbucks reading after work. A woman came in in her mid to late 30s, a guy who was maybe late 20s, and a young girl who was maybe 11 or 12. After they spent 5-10 minutes standing around in from of me they sat down. I had my headphones on. Well, 20 minutes later, after several times of my looking up with all three of them looking my way, they walked by me and left. 5 minutes later the woman walks in just as I am getting ready to leave. She asks me if I saw the guy who was with her. I said yes, and she then asks me for my number to give to him, if I am interested. Now, the guy did resemble Tom Cruise a bit, but I still told her, "um, no thanks, I am married and my wife would be really confused and disappointed in me if if I did that". I really didn't know what to say, so I had to mix in a bit of humor.

She then walked out the door, and got in the car with the other two, and left. Left me confused and alone.

This is the third time I have been either directly or indirectly asked for my number by a man. Not once for a woman. I have been married for almost ten years. Be honest. Do I scream "looking for gay partner"? What makes someone do something like this? Especially using a "wing-woman"?


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## Tripel (Sep 16, 2011)

Constantlyreforming said:


> This is the third time I have been either directly or indirectly asked for my number by a man. Not once for a woman. I have been married for almost ten years. Be honest. Do I scream "looking for gay partner"?



Three times??? That's certainly not normal.

I don't know anything about you. Perhaps it's a compliment to your fashion and grooming habits???


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 16, 2011)

I've taken it as such in the past. Now, I am not so sure that I am doing something else that would attract said suitors....


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## VictorBravo (Sep 16, 2011)

Starbucks. That's what it is. . . . Isn't there an implement dealer anywhere around you? They usually have free coffee. 



(No offense to Starbucks patrons--I used to have a one vente a day habit when I started working in Seattle).


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## FenderPriest (Sep 16, 2011)

well... what book were you reading?


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## caoclan (Sep 16, 2011)

Stop wearing the tight shirts, maybe?


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 16, 2011)

FenderPriest said:


> well... what book were you reading?




Thomas Boston's Fourfold State of Man....1808 copy, leather-bound....




was it the leather?


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## GulfCoast Presbyterian (Sep 16, 2011)

I have had it happen twice, each time in New Orleans in the French Quarter, so those probably don't count. Sober guys would never want my number!


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 16, 2011)

no tight shirt yesterday, although the pants were very nicely fitting. maybe its the pants....


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## MississippiBaptist (Sep 16, 2011)

It is awkward, as a hetero guy, when one is propositioned by a man. I've known many people who fulfilled their gender stereotype but engaged in homosexual activity.

If this helps ease your mind, I know of a really attractive woman who says she is propositioned more by women than by men. There are also 'established' spots where homosexuals prefer to meet. Perhaps your Starbucks is one?

I was traveling alone and was approached by a guy at a rest stop many years ago. It was later that I found out that particular rest stop was a 'hot spot' for homosexual men to meet. Being alone and at that spot generated the proposition. Apparently wedding rings are not a deterrent.


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## TimV (Sep 16, 2011)

In college I had to switch from Ornamental Horticulture to Agriculture. Then it stopped mostly.


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## VictorBravo (Sep 16, 2011)

TimV said:


> In college I had to switch from Ornamental Horticulture to Agriculture. Then it stopped mostly.



Similar thing for me too. I went from Music to Soil Science and it all cleared up.


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## Marrow Man (Sep 16, 2011)

If it happens again, use it as an opportunity to share the gospel.


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 16, 2011)

I am sure I will.


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## FenderPriest (Sep 16, 2011)

Constantlyreforming said:


> FenderPriest said:
> 
> 
> > well... what book were you reading?
> ...


Be honest, you were reading Snooky's newest volume. And since that's certainly the case, this is easily explained. Case closed.


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 16, 2011)

*exposed*


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## Marrow Man (Sep 16, 2011)

I might be more shocked if I actually knew who or what Snooky is.


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## Wayne (Sep 16, 2011)

Ethan : If your avatar picture is any indication, then I'm just not seeing it. 

Vic : Coffee at an implement dealer -- isn't that the same thing as paint stripper?

All : I'm esp. shocked by the presence of a child in this story. 

I don't think many of us [blessedly] have the glimmer of an idea as to just how utterly depraved our common culture is now. 

Humble yourselves, seek the Lord Himself, and turn from your own wicked ways. Pray for reformation and revival; pray as if your very life depends on it, for it does.


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## Romans922 (Sep 16, 2011)

The wedding ring (if you have one) may be a good thing to be showing around when this happens the fourth time...

Also, you could have simply responded with, "Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God..." + Gospel


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## VictorBravo (Sep 16, 2011)

Romans922 said:


> The wedding ring (if you have one) may be a good thing to be showing around when this happens the fourth time...



Not really. Wedding rings mean very little in some locations.

And Wayne, yes, I'm appalled too, but, unfortunately, not at all surprised. As for the culture, oddly, in some ways I see it as being somewhat tempered compared to the late 70s and early 80s. In those pre-AIDS days, at least in the music world, things were pretty openly predatory. I was a farm kid with a sensitive soul when I entered college. I had professors hitting on me. They obviously thought that if I liked beauty and music, I must be one of them. It took fairly strong direct confrontation with strict self-restraint to hold them off non-violently. Eventually they gave up, but it really angered me at how they acted like hormone-driven sharks instead of men.

The sad thing is that, while predatory aspect seems to have receded some, the general acceptance of this sin is now almost complete.


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## Ask Mr. Religion (Sep 16, 2011)

Remove that red, yellow, or black bandana hanging out from your back pocket and things will settle down, brother. 

You'll have to Google that aspect. 

AMR


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## Romans922 (Sep 16, 2011)

VictorBravo said:


> Romans922 said:
> 
> 
> > The wedding ring (if you have one) may be a good thing to be showing around when this happens the fourth time...
> ...



I would think Quincy, IL it would mean something (of course you are in Starbucks, that doesn't help anyone). I can be corrected.


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## M21195 (Sep 16, 2011)

What were drinking? The Caramel Brulée Frappuccino might have put him over the top....


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 16, 2011)

I was drinking a cherry soda.

I had my wedding ring VERY visible, on my left ring finger, holding the book by the reformed theologian...


maybe it was a test?
I seriously did look for a hidden camera....


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## Tripel (Sep 16, 2011)

Constantlyreforming said:


> I was drinking a cherry soda.



From a can? Using a straw?

Do you point your pinky outward when you pick up your drink?


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## LawrenceU (Sep 16, 2011)

I would almost bet that the Starbucks is a 'spot' if it has happened there before.


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 16, 2011)

Tripel said:


> Constantlyreforming said:
> 
> 
> > I was drinking a cherry soda.
> ...




ohmygoodnessyesIdo.


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## Gage Browning (Sep 16, 2011)

It's the "skinny jeans"...and Starbucks combination...Go to Dunkin Donuts and wear loose fitting dockers...


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## AThornquist (Sep 16, 2011)

Wayne said:


> All : I'm esp. shocked by the presence of a child in this story.



Agreed. Very saddening...


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## Marrow Man (Sep 16, 2011)

Constantlyreforming said:


> maybe it was a test?
> I seriously did look for a hidden camera....



You've been Punk'd.


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## yoyoceramic (Sep 16, 2011)

I think the same thing happened to Polycarp. Eusebius recounts the story:



> And Polycarp, unwavering in his devotion to his Redeemer and Lord Jesus, steadfastly finished the last drip of of Vente machiato before thoughtfully answering the gentleman. caller's query: Eighty and six years have I served Him, and he never did me any injury; how then can I blaspheme my King and my Savior?


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## Marrow Man (Sep 16, 2011)




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## Pergamum (Sep 16, 2011)

They walked too near your headphones and heard 'it's raining men' on repeat as your song selection...


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## Pilgrim (Sep 16, 2011)

If that indeed is a "spot," I wonder what would happen if some Christians started holding Bible studies there.


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## Marrow Man (Sep 16, 2011)

What makes this story somewhat uncomfortable is that I went to a local Starbucks to read a couple of days ago, and a guy came in and set at a table near me. Then he decided to move to the chair next to mine. He kept staring at me. There were a couple of times I thought he was going to say something to me, but he didn't. I just kept reading. Probably just wanted to talk about the weather or something, but after reading this thread, I'm starting to wonder...



Pilgrim said:


> If that indeed is a "spot," I wonder what would happen if some Christians started holding Bible studies there.
> 
> Chris



Not at Starbucks because the coffee is awful (burnt dirt I like to call it, although the frappes are ok), but tomorrow morning we will hold our men's group study of Thomas Watson's _The Godly Man's Picture_ at a local Panera Bread. Anyone in the Louisville area is invited!


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## kvanlaan (Sep 16, 2011)

Only had that happen to me once (that I know about) in a restaurant common to folks of all persuasions (I say 'all' because I have no idea how many persusions there are any more) and I was in high school. Long time (many pounds) ago. I also now tend to go places with my stunningly beautiful wife which dispels all question of my orientation. 

I think there are indeed 'spots' and that you may have hit one. Perhaps you should neglect your grooming to a greater extent? Stop with the pinky thing, no more sashaying into the room, and leave the pink feather boas at home. Just guessing here...

Next time this happens, look over and raise your eyebrows a little. It would at least start a conversation!

Tim, perhaps you're far too fetching for your own good.


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## sdesocio (Sep 16, 2011)

Thats what happens when you are singing along to Dancing Queen.


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## Weston Stoler (Sep 16, 2011)

Well I have been hit on by atleast 3 guys. 2 at books-a-million Once I was reading this bible and I told the man I was a christian and he said "Well I am a youth pastor at dadada" and I really looked scared for those kids.

Even in the conservative south this is not something uncommon. I wouldnt worry.
Athough my unusually Non-masculine voice kind of throws the homo off 

---------- Post added at 10:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:48 PM ----------

I actually keep my hair and beard ungroomed for this very reason.


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## bookslover (Sep 17, 2011)

Maybe he wasn't gay. Maybe the man AND the woman were looking at you for a threesome. Stranger things have happened.


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## "William The Baptist" (Sep 17, 2011)

Awkward is right.

Some great insight and questioning. You might want to invest in less tight pants, stop buying fruity drinks, and definitely stop flat-ironing your hair... er... beard?  On a serious note, that is a great opportunity to share the Gospel. 

It is amazing to me how morally bankrupt this day and age is. What's shocking to me is that there were times when it _wasn't_ so bad... for this is "my" generation and all I have known, but still, I am repulsed by it none the less.

When I was in highschool... I got hit on a fair amount and got tired of attention and didn't want to date ANYONE (I thought highschool relationships were so dumb) and ended up cutting my hair super short (a feminine boy short), and figured most guys like longer hair and the being hit on would simmer down.... only to get hit on a few times by GIRLS -_- and still guys, just more hipster guys. 

Needless to say, I think I am just more oblivious to attention now than back then. But I'm a terrible judge of these things and default to my happy little oblivion.


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## AThornquist (Sep 17, 2011)

I don't drink Starbucks, so maybe that's why I haven't had to dodge the gay train before. Of course, one time when I was witnessing to a homeless man he suddenly and obscenely suggested that something happen, and I went straight back to the Gospel; there was nothing else for me to say to him.

By the way, I forget who even made this thread, but when you pucker your lips there is a distinct heart shape made by your facial hair. You weren't making that face to the the three who walked in, were you?


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## Marrow Man (Sep 17, 2011)

kvanlaan said:


> Tim, perhaps you're far too fetching for your own good.



Fetching is not the word I would use for myself. Only The Missus thinks that, I'm sure.




bookslover said:


> Maybe he wasn't gay. Maybe the man AND the woman were looking at you for a threesome. Stranger things have happened.



This is what I was thinking when I read the OP. The whole thing is just weird. The woman runs interference after bringing in the kid? And Starbucks is an "alternative lifestyles" pick up spot? I guess folks weren't going there for the coffee...


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## Rufus (Sep 18, 2011)

Tripel said:


> Constantlyreforming said:
> 
> 
> > I was drinking a cherry soda.
> ...


 
[video=youtube;qggcmNFo5XQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qggcmNFo5XQ[/video]


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 19, 2011)

wow. I am both honored and a bit weirded out this is now in the top 5 threads now.

The insight you have all brought to the situation is quite impressive.
the threesome thing is a whole new ballgame....now I am even more appalled at the thought.

:sigh:

---------- Post added at 08:43 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:43 AM ----------




AThornquist said:


> I don't drink Starbucks, so maybe that's why I haven't had to dodge the gay train before. Of course, one time when I was witnessing to a homeless man he suddenly and obscenely suggested that something happen, and I went straight back to the Gospel; there was nothing else for me to say to him.
> 
> *By the way, I forget who even made this thread, but when you pucker your lips there is a distinct heart shape made by your facial hair. You weren't making that face to the the three who walked in, were you*?



of course. this is the way I look at every person in my life.


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## Stargazer65 (Sep 19, 2011)

I'm surprised that an attempted gay hookup happened in a Starbuck's store. Now, if it was Peet's I would expect something like that. I wouldn't be caught dead with a cup of Peet's Coffe or Tea.


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## Tim (Sep 19, 2011)

Let us remember this note of discretion:



> Eph 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
> Eph 5:12 *For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.*



Yes, it can be easy to think of what this person might have meant (I did too), but let's not go any further okay? No accusations, just a friendly reminder for no one in particular.


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## Reformed Roman (Sep 20, 2011)

I actually think a good point was brought up. I guess he really could have not been gay. We don't really know. So it's actually not worth looking deeply into or speculating on. I think the main purpose of the thread is simply why do these weird things happen to you?

And none of us have an answer. Except for random, witty, humorous remarks.


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## MarieP (Sep 20, 2011)

Marrow Man said:


> If it happens again, use it as an opportunity to share the gospel.



Maybe that's why it keeps happening to you, so you will be able to share the Gospel!


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## awretchsavedbygrace (Sep 20, 2011)

If you do wear tight clothing, that might be it. I wear tight shirts often, and get some awkward stares. Either change your style of dress, or live with it.


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## Andres (Sep 20, 2011)

Are you a big guy? If so that and the combo of the bald head is actually a specific type that gays are in to. I don't know how to explain this without getting into something that is way disgusting, but I'm being completely serious here. I know somone whose father left their mother for a man. The dad was big time into bodybuilding and kept his head shaved. It's a certain look that is essentially a fetish for gay men. Oh, and on that note...


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## mhseal (Sep 21, 2011)

It is only by the grace of God that we are not in far creepier situations everyday.

Anecdotally speaking, several years ago when I was out visiting my girlfriend's (now wife) family, we went to visit her grandma on her lunch break. Instead of going out to eat, we went for coffee at Seattle's Best. It was there that I made the mistake of asking the two gents working the counter how many carbs were in my drink. They then proceeded to conjecture that I had a nice body, and didn't need to worry about the carbs. Thoroughly creeped out, I eeked that I did in fact need to worry about the carbs, as I'm a diabetic...

It was down town Portland, Oregon, so in retrospect I'm not that shocked; but at the time it made me feel quite uncomfortable.


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## Constantlyreforming (Sep 21, 2011)

Andres said:


> *Are you a big guy?* If so that and the combo of the bald head is actually a specific type that gays are in to. I don't know how to explain this without getting into something that is way disgusting, but I'm being completely serious here. I know somone whose father left their mother for a man. The dad was big time into bodybuilding and kept his head shaved. It's a certain look that is essentially a fetish for gay men. Oh, and on that note...



6', 225 lbs
don;t know if that's considered big, but my friends compare my look to Jason Statham.


So, I have to get rid of my button fly banana republic pants?

dangit.

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MarieP said:


> Marrow Man said:
> 
> 
> > If it happens again, use it as an opportunity to share the gospel.
> ...




I'll just plan on it, so that I am not surprised next time...


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