# Looks Like Chuck Norris is at it again....



## caddy (Sep 26, 2006)

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. 

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris´ beard. There is only another fist. 

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. 

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. 

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. 

Chuck Norris doesn´t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. 

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. 

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. 

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV. 



[Edited on 9-26-2006 by caddy]


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## ReformedWretch (Sep 26, 2006)

I love these, my wife thinks they are stupid


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## LadyFlynt (Sep 26, 2006)

Does this have to do with the "being manly" thread? LOL!


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## caddy (Sep 26, 2006)

^^^

Chuck can take care of this too ....


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## jaybird0827 (Sep 26, 2006)

This has got to be the Paul Bunyan of the 21st Century.


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## caddy (Sep 26, 2006)

Absolutely !

I think it is a total guy thing....

Women aren't allowed to comment !





> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> Does this have to do with the "being manly" thread? LOL!


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## LadyFlynt (Sep 26, 2006)

You know, you really shouldn't threaten the moderator 

And I happen to like Chuck Norris.


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## caddy (Sep 26, 2006)

Yikes

If only I were Chuck ! 



> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> You know, you really shouldn't threaten the moderator
> 
> And I happen to like Chuck Norris.


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## LadyFlynt (Sep 26, 2006)




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## caddy (Sep 26, 2006)

and there's MORE !!!!

Chuck Norris is capable of self destructing, and surviving.

The only reason World War II occured was because Chuck Norris was taking a nap.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma


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## Formerly At Enmity (Sep 26, 2006)

Chuck Norris doesn´t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.



Nice!


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## SRoper (Sep 26, 2006)

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris´ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.


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## caddy (Sep 26, 2006)

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship


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## Augusta (Sep 26, 2006)

The following link has a funny bit just like that about Jack Bauer from '24'. It's much longer though. You have to scroll down a bit.

http://www.puritanboard.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=18118#pid248449


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## matthew11v25 (Sep 27, 2006)

> _Originally posted by caddy_
> 
> Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.



Man!!! I may be immature, but that is hilarious.

here is another one:

"Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People."


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## Founded on the Rock (Sep 27, 2006)

Here is another:

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a nightlight because he is afraid of the dark, he sleeps with a nightlight because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.


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## caddy (Sep 27, 2006)

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.


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## kceaster (Sep 27, 2006)

Chuck Norris was soundly whipped by Bruce Lee.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

KC


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## caddy (Sep 27, 2006)

^^^

Yea, but that was just a Make Believe Movie !!!!!!!!

I shall continue:

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Sep 27, 2006)

Here's a new smilie for the PB:


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## caddy (Sep 27, 2006)

Chuck likes it !


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## caddy (Sep 27, 2006)

^^^

Hilarious !

Chuck has been Ursuped ...for now

who is next ?

Could it be  vs Bauer


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## LadyFlynt (Sep 27, 2006)

Get this...




I think these are funny....





Hubby thinks they are lame....except for the last one.


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## caddy (Sep 28, 2006)

Chuck would have a hard time "dealing" with C.Dewhurst and Megan Follows

[Edited on 9-28-2006 by caddy]


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## Augusta (Sep 28, 2006)

> _Originally posted by caddy_
> Chuck would have a hard time "dealing" with C.Dewhurst and Megan Follows
> 
> [Edited on 9-28-2006 by caddy]


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## Arch2k (Sep 28, 2006)

How about some constructive things to say about Jack Bauer???


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## caddy (Sep 28, 2006)

^ You know

I admit I am clueless concerning Jack Bauer

Who is this dude Jeff ? Manata's messing with me.


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## Arch2k (Sep 28, 2006)

> _Originally posted by caddy_
> ^ You know
> 
> I admit I am clueless concerning Jack Bauer
> ...



Jack Bauer


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## caddy (Sep 28, 2006)

ah ha

24

No wonder. I never watch that.

My shows: House
Criminal Minds
Boston Legal


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