# Secret Worship



## Dekybo (Apr 27, 2019)

Can you all share what system you use for private meditation and/or family worship? Should I walk through the Bible from beginning to end or do I take a more topical approach based on my/my family’s current spiritual needs?

I’ve searched the forum a little, but if there is a helpful thread please share.


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## NaphtaliPress (Apr 27, 2019)

Moved to worship forum.


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## Jack K (Apr 27, 2019)

Do you have young children, or are you unfamiliar with the overall Bible story from start to finish? If the answer is yes, there are advantages to reading through the narrative sections of the Bible in order.

When our kids were young, we read through the narrative parts, in order, several times. Then we added in prophets and epistles and such as they got older. Knowing the context and overall storyline helped them understand those non-narrative books. And reading through the Bible gives the added benefit of learning from all of God's Word, not just the parts we think we need.


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## Ryan&Amber2013 (Apr 27, 2019)

Brother, though systems and methods are helpful, I find a lot of change in my family/private worship, as I think this always keeps things fresh and exciting, and the Bible is not precisely clear on how these things should be done. As long as the means of grace are being used profitably, I think there is freedom in this area. Last night, I read from probably 10 different books in 2 hours covering many fun subjects. This morning I talked about John 10:10 in family worship, then listened through 1 John and prayed for private worship. I love the freedom we have in this area.

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## Hamalas (Apr 27, 2019)

I would...but then it wouldn't be secret worship.

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## Dekybo (Apr 27, 2019)

Jack K said:


> Do you have young children, or are you unfamiliar with the overall Bible story from start to finish? If the answer is yes, there are advantages to reading through the narrative sections of the Bible in order.



I have two girls who are both young (2 and 4). I think that I am familiar with the Bible from beginning to end. I have been doing narratives only but I wanted a more comprehensive structure.


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## Dekybo (Apr 27, 2019)

Ryan&Amber2013 said:


> Brother, though systems and methods are helpful, I find a lot of change in my family/private worship, as I think this always keeps things fresh and exciting, and the Bible is not precisely clear on how these things should be done.



I think this is my problem in that I have trouble practically applying these things. I think a system really helps me to stay consistent and eases my mind in that I don’t leave out any counsel of the Word .


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## Edward (Apr 27, 2019)

Is persecution so bad there that you have to worship in secret? I'm otherwise unfamiliar with the term.


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## Dekybo (Apr 27, 2019)

Edward said:


> Is persecution so bad there that you have to worship in secret? I'm otherwise unfamiliar with the term.



It is what I learned to call private daily worship, taken from the directory of family worship

http://www.christcovenantcullman.org/directory-modernized.pdf

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## Jack K (Apr 27, 2019)

Dekybo said:


> I have two girls who are both young (2 and 4). I think that I am familiar with the Bible from beginning to end. I have been doing narratives only but I wanted a more comprehensive structure.



My counsel is that you focus on the narrative passages until your girls hit their teen years. This isn't as limiting as it may sound. Many of the narrative passages have teachings and songs and prophesy and other genres mixed in, plus you might occasionally depart from the norm and read through a short epistle or part of the prophets, especially where you find something that fits the narrative you are reading. And you can read or sing psalms separately from your main Bible reading, or discuss a proverb a day at breakfast, or whatever. So you can still introduce your girls to the full range of what the Bible gives us.

But as children they will learn best from the narratives. So this is a good time in the life of your family for you to focus on the narratives. The narratives are broad enough that you will not be neglecting any of the Bible's key themes. Rather, you will be learning them in a manner that works well for a setting where kids and adults are learning side by side.

I occasionally included bits and pieces from all over the Bible when our kids were young, but I never strayed from the narratives for long until they got older. The year before my oldest left for college, we finally read all the way through Isaiah and Jeremiah. It was a rewarding time and I'm very glad we did it, but I think it worked because we waited until the right time. It would have been a difficult slog when the kids were younger, making them impatient.

All that said, my most important advice is that you pay attention to your girls (and your wife) rather than to any system or method someone says is _the_ way to do things. You know your kids. You will be able to tell when they are engaged and when they are bored, what they need to hear and to do, and how much they can take at one time. Do what works for _your_ family.

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## Username3000 (Apr 27, 2019)

I praise God for your wisdom in this area, Jack. I always look forward to reading your responses.

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## bookslover (Apr 27, 2019)

Dekybo said:


> It is what I learned to call private daily worship, taken from the directory of family worship
> 
> http://www.christcovenantcullman.org/directory-modernized.pdf



In this context, "secret" is the 400-year-old version of the word "private." Today, that meaning has largely dropped out of the word "secret." Today, "secret" is usually used for. . .well. . .secrets - and spies and stuff.

The directory might use "secret," but that doesn't mean that_ you_ have to.


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## Kinghezy (Apr 27, 2019)

All I would add to what has already been said is to start simple. You can always expand to more things if desired, but better to start with something manageable.

And expect that you may need to adjust it. Aka for me when I tried bible reading right before bed with young kids (and we still have young kids) it took me way too long to realize that they were blowing up because they were tired. So I moved it to during supper when everyone was already together.

Totally agree on Jack's comment on narratives. We are reading 1 Sam - 2 Kings right now. Just with those, some readings it may be a whole chapter because Joab is going around stabbing everyone. Others, you may be going line by line through a psalm of David that are teaching on God's attributes.


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## Dekybo (Apr 27, 2019)

bookslover said:


> In this context, "secret" is the 400-year-old version of the word "private." Today, that meaning has largely dropped out of the word "secret." Today, "secret" is usually used for. . .well. . .secrets - and spies and stuff.
> 
> The directory might use "secret," but that doesn't mean that_ you_ have to.



I know that I don’t have to, but I choose to because it is what I am familiar with from my initial encounter with these things. I’m sorry for the confusion it’s caused

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## Dekybo (Apr 27, 2019)

Tonight I began Jonah and will read through it a chapter a day. It went really well.

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## Regi Addictissimus (Apr 27, 2019)

My wife and I open with a prayer. We ask God to prepare the soil of our hearts to receive the seed of the Word. We read a portion of Scripture. I will expound on it and answer any questions that my wife may have. We use RHB's Family Worship Bible Guide to facilitate further discussion on the passage. I will sometimes read some of Matthew Henry on the corresponding verse. We then conclude with a prayer to ask the Spirit to assist in making the Word take root in our lives. We will then conclude with singing a Psalm. There is of course variances in our prayers but that is a general framework for our family worship. We tend to work consistently through a book. If we are facing something in life, I will deviate from doing Lectio Continua. I find a portion of Scripture that corresponds with that scenario.


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## Regi Addictissimus (Apr 27, 2019)

Dr. Beeke leads the charge on this topic.
This one is a bit older:

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## lynnie (Apr 27, 2019)

Desiring God has some good Sunday School and home school or family worship curriculum you can buy. Search under Children Desiring God. We never used it but I heard positive things about it. My husband always stayed flexible with topics with our kids....so often things came up that he wanted to share scripture on.


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## bookslover (Apr 28, 2019)

Dekybo said:


> I know that I don’t have to, but I choose to because it is what I am familiar with from my initial encounter with these things. I’m sorry for the confusion it’s caused



No need to apologize. No harm done. All of us are learners - no matter how much we know!


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## bookslover (Apr 28, 2019)

Dekybo said:


> Tonight I began Jonah and will read through it a chapter a day. It went really well.



Excellent choice. A chapter a day is a good pace no matter which Bible book you're reading.


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## bookslover (Apr 28, 2019)

Reformed Bookworm said:


> We use RHB's Family Worship Bible Guide to facilitate further discussion on the passage.



That's a wonderful book. I've used it practically since it was published, and I've recommended it to people. It's only flaw is that there are no devotional notes for the last chapter of Daniel! Probably an editing error which, hopefully, will be fixed in a future printing.


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## Joseph Knowles (Apr 28, 2019)

Lots of great advice in this thread already. I just wanted to throw in a book recommendation. I've been using _Old Story New: Ten-Minute Devotions to Draw Your Family to God_ by Marty Machowski during family worship with my children (ages 10, 8, and 6). The book walks through the OT narratives a little bit at a time and has 3-4 questions at the end of each section (along with a suggestion for prayer). 

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Old-Story-Ne...RMCAK1SCK4K&psc=1&refRID=5FZ6JT6XBRMCAK1SCK4K

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## Jo_Was (Apr 28, 2019)

Along with other advice already provided in this thread, you can always add "structure" by going through catechisms or points of memorization that can aid the children in helping to "keep pace" and then select readings based on such, or simply add them in coincidence with your regular readings. I know you are not a Reformed Presbyterian from your signature, but for example's sake, I think something like the Children's Catechism (and even the Shorter Catechism was meant for children!) is a nice, simple way to help introduce young children to some of the theological concepts they may encounter. It can be a precursor/assistance to scripture memorization and be the groundwork for other such helpful practices that you can develop when they are older and have increased abilities. (On a personal note: While I do not have any children of my own, it melts my heart when one of my church's two-year olds waddles around on Sundays going "God made all things. Fo' his own glo-wee." It's such an encouragement that even the youngest among us can learn the truths of Scriptures and edify the other members of the body!)

https://reformed.org/documents/inde...med.org/documents/cat_for_young_children.html

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## Dekybo (Apr 29, 2019)

Jo_Was said:


> Along with other advice already provided in this thread, you can always add "structure" by going through catechisms or points of memorization that can aid the children in helping to "keep pace" and then select readings based on such, or simply add them in coincidence with your regular readings.



Thanks for the advice Jo. I usually have our family worship at 7pm and when my girls go to bed I catechize my oldest daughter as a separate thing. I've never thought of doing that as a part of family worship. Thank you for the link; it looks very useful.


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## hammondjones (Apr 29, 2019)

bookslover said:


> In this context, "secret" is the 400-year-old version of the word "private." Today, that meaning has largely dropped out of the word "secret." Today, "secret" is usually used for. . .well. . .secrets - and spies and stuff.
> 
> The directory might use "secret," but that doesn't mean that_ you_ have to.



I was just reading a fellow writing in 1791, and he contrasted "public" and "secret" worship/prayer. So, 228 years. That's practically last week.

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## Smeagol (Apr 29, 2019)

Dekybo said:


> Can you all share what system you use for private meditation and/or family worship? Should I walk through the Bible from beginning to end or do I take a more topical approach based on my/my family’s current spiritual needs?
> 
> 
> I’ve searched the forum a little, but if there is a helpful thread please share.



Derek,

It is always encouraging to hear a Father/Dad take up the spiritual discipline of Family Worship. My enthusiasm on this topic continues to increase as I see the fruit in the life of my wife and children. Currently I have a 2yr. old daughter and a 5yr. old daughter. My goal for family worship was to try and do something very simple in the morning and evenings to help get myself and my family into the "Morning & Evening" pattern in the bible and also follow the model our congregation uses on the Lord's Day of a Morning & Evening worship service. Below I will share some advice from my own experience.

The title will be:
*Confessions of a Dad: Regarding Family Worship who Started from Scratch with No Experience or Fellow Peer Support* by Grant D. Jones

My below advise is based on the age of your children and my own failures and successes:

Key Principles:

1. *Be Simple*

2. *Be consistent and persistent even when it seems hard*

My initial philosophy with both my young daughters was to teach them the basics that we take for granted in order to also help them during our Corporate Worship services with our Church. How unfair it is for children to be kept from the corporate service because they are "too bad" when the other 6 days of the week parents neglect helping their children get used to sitting still and being quite when the bible is open. Having a structured time during the week actually helps our young children learn to be reverent during your Lord's Day Services. My proof? My own children. People say to me all the time “I wish my kids were that well behaved and still”. Out loud I respond and say thank you. However the truth is, it takes MUCH hard work to train young children to sit through a service. It is not as if some are better or worse, but like most everything it takes practice and hard work from mom and dad during the week.

My goal was to focus on 3 things regarding content:

Prayer


Reading the Bible


Singing a Song (Psalm or Hymn considering your denomination and convictions)
This is not only a time for your kids to hear mom and dad pray, read, and sing but also a time for them to learn how to pray, read, and sing as well. My 2yr old knows already how to say “Dear God, thank you for today. Help Mommy. Help Daddy. Help Sissy… Thank you for the Bible...Amen”. Sometimes she sneaks in “Thank you for cookies!”

Singing was perhaps the most awkward to do initially, but has sense become one of the biggest blessings. If you sing hymns and are not also familiar with Psalm-Singing, I would recommend you purchase the new Trinity Psalter Hymnal (https://www.gcp.org/TrinityPsalter.aspx). I was totally ignorant of singing old hymns and Psalm singing when I began family worship. So I had much to learn regarding tunes. For this I recommend you download the *1650 Psalter App* from iTunes (https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/1650-split-leaf-psalter/id1198280376?mt=8). Even if you don’t use the words from the App, you can still find a Library of all the older tunes that many of the Psalms are set to in the Trinity Psalter Hymnal. I never knew the Psalms were supposed to be sung, but soon learned their hidden beauty when we began to practice it at home.

I will share our current format below after 3.5 years of practice. Please know that I am a more structured “Type A” personality. My advice is to focus on the 3 things (Pray, Read Bible, Sing) in a way that does not feel overbearing to your wife. Of course the kids will have their nights of acting like rabid racoons, but that is Okay. They need training from mom and dad, and Family Worship IS a most godly and effective Training Ground. Some nights will feel like a war and others quite peaceful. Be willing to make adjustments, but never willfully sacrifice and neglect having family worship. Guard the time as one charged with the protection of his family. Satan would love nothing more than for parents to forsake Family Worship, which is a most effective defense against his attacks.

*Ideally below is what we shoot for (sometimes we miss):*

_1. Morning Family Time (6:30am – 6:45am-ish)_


Read a passage of scripture (varying lengths, currently we are in Hebrews) The same passage will be read again in the evening session, but will be accompanied by explanation/application/discussion.


Dad prays for the family as we begin our day.


Sing a Psalm
**I usually mold my own mid-day private devotion to include reading Matthew Henry’s commentary on the passage to help me prepare for the evening session**


_2. Evening Family Time (after dinner and baths, which help calm little ones down, around 7:00pm – 7:35pm-ish)_


Kids Catechisms (https://www.gcp.org/ProductDetail.aspx?Item=020030) We even used these in our former SBC church and just placed stickers with alternate answers over the Baptism Questions. We do these with both the 2yr. old (She knows 1-2) and 5 yr. old (She knows 1-60).


My wife reads a short section of commentary on the Westminster Standards by Chad Van Dixhoorn. Once we finish this book we will just go back to reading excerpts from the Westminster Standards.


We sing 1-2 Psalms


Dad prays asking Holy Spirit to help us truly hear his Word and then reads the passage read in the morning adding discussion and applications.


Close with “Pop Corn” prayer. This is really helpful because it gets the kids involved and lets them speak out loud in prayer while mom and dad can observe and teach “how to pray”. Hearing your little ones pray is such a blessing from the Lord.
*I hope this helps. Again, my model is not the best (of that I am sure). However, it has been working for my family. Let me know if you have further questions. I started from scratch and I have had times of being too simple and being too complex. Start simple and get consistent. Then build on that as the kids age. Always get feedback from your wife and allow that to help your decisions in how to mold this most blessed time. Find other Dads that make Family Worship a priority& practice and encourage one another. Sadly, the discipline of Family Worship is largely being abandoned. It is easy to neglect and skip it at times. Find other men that can hold you accountable in this area and offer the same to them. Be willing to sacrifice other worldly works and recreations for the promotion of Family Worship, the temptations and pressures of our society will be to get that backwards.*​

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## bookslover (Apr 29, 2019)

hammondjones said:


> I was just reading a fellow writing in 1791, and he contrasted "public" and "secret" worship/prayer. So, 228 years. That's practically last week.



LOL


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## KMK (Apr 29, 2019)

Start with M'Cheyne and go from there.

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## Dekybo (Apr 29, 2019)

KMK said:


> Start with M'Cheyne and go from there.



I like M’Cheyne but I can’t do morning and evening because of my job. Would you do all 4 chapters at once? And how much time would one need for reading and meditation on 4 chapters?


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## Kinghezy (Apr 29, 2019)

Dekybo said:


> I like M’Cheyne but I can’t do morning and evening because of my job. Would you do all 4 chapters at once? And how much time would one need for reading and meditation on 4 chapters?


My recommendation is to do what works for you (see post 4). There varied ideas for family worship, some more intense than others (cough cough cough @Grant Jones cough cough cough); though even that nameless individual recommended doing something you can manage with simple elements. Since I know Grant enjoys Matthew Henry, I usually prepare for the family reading the night before by reading the passage paired with Matthew Henry, double dipping my personal reading + family reading preparation.

Back to the question, the important thing is the regular hearing/reading of the word. So what works best for me, to make sure I am hearing the full breadth each year, is a ESV RSS feed of M'Cheyne while driving to work. Not that that will work for you but my point is whatever you do to hear it will be fruitful. I am sure I do not mediate on it as much as I could, but then sometimes a passage will just hit you. Today, Hebrews 4 it struck me some of the markers of our Lord's Day in talking about rest (Hebrews 3-4), and how that passage actually ends with the famous "For the word of God is living and active..." followed by "For we do not have high priest who is unable to sympathize...". So after this, going to look up what Matthew Henry had to say. (listening takes 10-20 minutes, so I am imagine reading may be quicker)


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## KMK (Apr 30, 2019)

Dekybo said:


> I like M’Cheyne but I can’t do morning and evening because of my job. Would you do all 4 chapters at once? And how much time would one need for reading and meditation on 4 chapters?



For years I have been reading all four (or five) in one sitting--usually in the morning. It only takes about 20 minutes. Many opportunities flow out of that for more private and family devotions. The value of M'Cheyne is exponential; the longer one follows it, the more beneficial it becomes. There is great wisdom in the way he structured it. It is a real treasure.

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