# Planning a wedding



## Wannabee (Jun 16, 2009)

As I shared here, we're having a wedding soon (week and a half). This will be the first wedding I've performed. I'm getting a lot of it down, but would appreciate advice and ideas that could be offered.

Thanks
Joe


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## LawrenceU (Jun 16, 2009)

Questions?


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## ClayPot (Jun 16, 2009)

Don't forget the name of the bride or groom. That makes things awkward.

Seriously though, present the gospel. I hate it when I go to a wedding between believers (I'll assume this wedding is for believers) and the gospel is not clearly communicated. It's sad that people often say to couples, "This day is about you!" No day is ever about us. Every day is about God and his glory regardless of how we acknowledge. People should know that the marriage is about God's glory - not happiness, companionship, or even love.


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## LawrenceU (Jun 16, 2009)

Just some thoughts:

Yes, remember their names. Even in you know them well, and you do, make a little note with their names on it. I'm glad that I've always done that.

Focus on the gospel.

Keep it short. Long wedding sermons are lost on those up front, and those in the pews. It is not a time to display extensive homoletical prowess.

Get with them and sort out the order of the ceremony and make a cheat sheet outline that can fit in your bible. It will help keep you on track.

Remember, every wedding doesn't go as planned in some way. Sometimes it is a big 'mistake' at other times it is small. Either way the wedding 'works'. Don't get too wrapped up in making it perfect.

Find out if they are using one or two rings. Put that in your outline!

Get with the best man and maid / matron of honour (if two ring) and make sure they know where the rings are immediately prior to the service. Don't assume they know.

If they want a traditional wedding don't be afraid to refer to the BCP. It is a great resource.


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## Whitefield (Jun 16, 2009)

Things not to do:

Don't let the best man put the bride's ring on his pinkie for safe-keeping. The body swells when a person gets nervous ... we almost never got that ring off his finger!


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## Hadassah (Jun 16, 2009)

...and if they drop the rings dont start running down the aisle, trying to catch it.
Heard it done, and knowone could remember anything from the service, exept a priest in a black gown chasing a small golden ring down through the church


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## LawrenceU (Jun 16, 2009)

Also, that finger swelling thing happens to the bride and groom. If the rings don't fit remind them in rehearsal not to try and make it fit. There was this groom that almost dislocated his very soon to be wife's ring finger. . .


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## Wannabee (Jun 16, 2009)

Well, I'm not a priest and I won't be wearing a black gown. I'll attempt to restrain myself if someone drops a ring anyway though. 

-----Added 6/16/2009 at 03:40:49 EST-----

I have a pretty workable outline, I think. What's a BCP? I'm drawing a blank. The message will be pretty simple, focusing on God's ordination of marriage, the blessing of marriage, the purpose of marriage and the symbol of marriage (Christ and the church). None of it will be lengthy, though I do hope to be clear. I told them I was going to sing... hehe, the looks on their faces was priceless.


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## LawrenceU (Jun 16, 2009)

Sorry about that. BCP - The Book of Common Prayer.


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## JBaldwin (Jun 16, 2009)

And don't forget to announce the bride and groom as Mr. & Mrs. .... to the congregation at the end. It was forgotten at my wedding, and I've seen it forgotten many times. 

The suggestions of writing these things down on a little piece of paper would be helpful. I've seen lots of pastors do this at weddings, and no one is offended if he checks his notes.


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## Wannabee (Jun 16, 2009)

JBaldwin said:


> And don't forget to announce the bride and groom as Mr. & Mrs. .... to the congregation at the end. It was forgotten at my wedding, and I've seen it forgotten many times.


Since it's my son, I should be able to keep the last name forefront. 


> The suggestions of writing these things down on a little piece of paper would be helpful. I've seen lots of pastors do this at weddings, and no one is offended if he checks his notes.


Don't worry. I know me, and me needs notes.  I'll probably have much of it written out. Who knows, I might be more nervous than they are.


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## Wannabee (Jun 26, 2009)

Please remember this in prayer. Tomorrow's the day!


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## MrMerlin777 (Jun 26, 2009)




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## kvanlaan (Jun 26, 2009)

"You may now kiss the bride" is a very important part of it all. The minister that married us forgot it before we were pronounced man and wife, so I kissed my wife through the veil instead, and we took off laughing down the aisle.


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## jambo (Jun 26, 2009)

kvanlaan said:


> "You may now kiss the bride" is a very important part of it all. The minister that married us forgot it before we were pronounced man and wife, so I kissed my wife through the veil instead, and we took off laughing down the aisle.



A ministerial friend was telling me that after one wedding he looked at the couple and quietly said "You may kiss." So she kissed the minister!


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## AThornquist (Jun 26, 2009)

jambo said:


> A ministerial friend was telling me that after one wedding he looked at the couple and quietly said "You may kiss." So she kissed the minister!



Unless he was her father, that's rather disturbing. 


And I'll be praying for the wedding, Pastor Joe.


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## Berean (Jun 26, 2009)

Praying, Joe


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## Wannabee (Jun 27, 2009)

Thank you all for your input and prayers. If the comments I received are any indication the ceremony went well. I was told that the Gospel was clear and the lady that filmed it said it was the most wonderful marriage she had filmed. I don't know how many she's done. And I've only been to a few weddings myself. So, I'm not sure what to make of all that. But I am confident that Christ was honored and I made it clear throughout that the whole service was a worship service and that Christ was central to all we were doing. 
May their marriage exalt Christ for all their years on earth.


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## Berean (Jun 27, 2009)

> the lady that filmed it said it was the most wonderful marriage she had filmed



I'm glad that all went well, Joe. Praise God!


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## jambo (Jun 28, 2009)

Wannabee said:


> Thank you all for your input and prayers. If the comments I received are any indication the ceremony went well. I was told that the Gospel was clear and the lady that filmed it said it was the most wonderful marriage she had filmed. I don't know how many she's done. And I've only been to a few weddings myself. So, I'm not sure what to make of all that. But I am confident that Christ was honored and I made it clear throughout that the whole service was a worship service and that Christ was central to all we were doing.
> May their marriage exalt Christ for all their years on earth.



I am glad all went well and if Christ was honoured then things could not have gone better. I trust the Lord will richly bless this couple and their marriage would be long, happy, loving, frutiful and fulfilling. May it indeed be a marriage that is an apt illustration of Christ and the church.


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