# Practical Jokes from a Reformed angle



## Wayne (May 18, 2010)

Back when I was on the receiving end of one fellow's practical jokes, I got to thinking about how a Christian might conduct a practical joke.

Rule no. 1 - the joker cannot harm and must actually benefit the jokee. That makes it fairly difficult to pull off a good joke, but like all art, rules and constraint make for better results.

Example 1: I thought of getting some seminary students to sneak over to the local Lutheran seminary to plant tulips in the flower beds. Never pulled that one off.

2: Or to get the maintenance man off campus for a day and nicely repaint his VW, such that when he returned, he wouldn't find it in the parking lot. Too expensive, plus you're taking another's property into your own hands and there's liability there.

3: Then more recently I hit on the idea of the never ending jar of jam, soda or condiments, where you keep refilling the jokee's container from some off-site supply. He keeps using it, but it never runs out.

Care to share other ideas that fit within the rule?


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## MLCOPE2 (May 18, 2010)

Sneaking into all the churches and replacing their modern translations for KJV Bibles. Mwahahaha!!!

Just kidding. (I'm not a KJVOA)


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## Scott1 (May 18, 2010)

Maybe not hitting the practical part exactly, but thought these would be jokes in line with the criteria stated:

How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and four to bind the spirit of darkness in the room.


How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.
-Or-
Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the light bulb will decide to change itself.


How many neo-evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.


How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.


How many fundamentalists or independent Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one because any more would be compromise and ecumenical standards of light would slip.


How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.


How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They always use candles.


How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb. One to bless the elements. One to pour the sherry. And one to offer a toast to the old light bulb.


How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
CHANGE???????


How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

About 16,000,000. However, they are badly divided over whether changing the bulb is a fundamental need or not.


How many Nazarenes does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb. Another to replace the new with the old after shaking it and finding it can be revived with a second blessing.



How many United Church of Christ members does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven. One to change the light bulb. And ten more to organize a covered dish supper that will follow the changing of the bulb service.


How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

We read that we are to so fear and love God that we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, NOT by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Of course, it is still dark.
-Or-
None. Lutherans don't believe in change. 


How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
What's a light bulb?


How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Lights will go on and off at the ordained time.



How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.


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## TexanRose (May 18, 2010)

When I was young and my dad was supporting a family of seven on a schoolteacher's salary, someone rang our doorbell one night and ran off. We opened the door to find a box full of goodies like gourmet cheeses, sausages, chocolates, and various gift-wrapped items for the little kids. What a treat! I bet the giver felt just as good as we did.


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## Glenn Ferrell (May 18, 2010)

I heard of an East Kentucky neighbor who secretly placed an egg in the cage of his friend’s rooster each day.


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## Whitefield (May 18, 2010)

Scott1 said:


> How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
> 
> We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.


 
One. The pastor ... isn't that what we pay him for?


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## VictorBravo (May 18, 2010)

Glenn Ferrell said:


> I heard of an East Kentucky neighbor who secretly placed an egg in the cage of his friend’s rooster each day.


 
That one is very good.


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## Philip (May 18, 2010)

> How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?



My own (sometimes sadly accurate) version is:

One to change it.
Another to reprimand the first for changing on the theological grounds that lightbulbs are predestined to go on and off and humans should not interfere with providence.
A third to bring the issue to the session.
The session to divide and bring it to presbytery.
A committee at presbytery to also divide and bring the issue before general assembly.
A committee and two subcommittees at general assembly to draft a report, do a study, and come up with a position.
General assembly then votes and passes the resolution.
The disgruntled minority then votes to leave and form the Presbyterian Church of Non-Lightbulb-Changing.


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## Scott1 (May 18, 2010)

> The disgruntled minority then votes to leave and form the Presbyterian Church of Non-Lightbulb-Changing.



Philip,

You know the polity better than that...
Right before the lightbulb process demanded is (finally) initiated,
They leave to join the Confederation of Reformed Non-Lightbulb changing Churches!


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## Andres (May 18, 2010)

Wayne, could we argue that the jokee is benefited by having some much needed joy inserted into his/her life? I often tell my wife silly jokes that are in reality lame, but nonetheless they are so lame they make her laugh. I usually just do it to make her smile if she is having a rough day. I like to think it benefits her.


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## Philip (May 18, 2010)

Scott1 said:


> > The disgruntled minority then votes to leave and form the Presbyterian Church of Non-Lightbulb-Changing.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
True, I'd forgotten about that body.


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## he beholds (May 18, 2010)

Glenn Ferrell said:


> I heard of an East Kentucky neighbor who secretly placed an egg in the cage of his friend’s rooster each day.


 
That is hilarious!

RE:OP, I love the jam-refilling one.


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## Pergamum (May 19, 2010)

At a Dispensational bible college, I (an amil myself) put signs on the back of chairs of the other amils/postmils that all read "In case of rapture this chair will be unmanned." 

Non-religious practical joke for fans of Lost: at my house in the jungle (it is kinda remote), me and my wife considered putting up a big sign saying "The Dharma Initiative" but had 1,001 better things to do.


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## Scott1 (May 19, 2010)

> "In case of rapture this chair will be unmanned."



"In case of rapture, this chair will be manned by reformed theology personnel only"??? 



> me and my wife considered putting up a big sign saying "The Dharma Initiative"



"...putting up a big sign, saying see video on our Strategic Plan for Dharma titled- 'More Seats at the Table'"


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## MLCOPE2 (May 19, 2010)

Saw this one this morning and thought it was quite comical.

Ghostbusters scene re-enactment


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## Rich Koster (May 19, 2010)

A harmless prank (except on recycling day ) was pulled on my friends daughter. Someone signed her up to receive almost every free catalog you could think of.


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## Eoghan (Jun 5, 2010)

*When April 1st fell on the Sabbath*

Many years ago I was dating and thought it would be nice in the early stages of our courtship to share a hymnbook with my girlfriend and have her fuss over me. So I put my arm in a sling.

All went well until it approached 12 noon. As those familiar with the folklore of april first know you don't continue it past midday so while the minister was praying I slipped the sling off.

Unknown to me my girlfriend saw what I was doing and jumped to the conclusion...







... that I had been miraculously healed! :ROFL:


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## JasonGoodwin (Jun 5, 2010)

Glenn Ferrell said:


> I heard of an East Kentucky neighbor who secretly placed an egg in the cage of his friend’s rooster each day.


 Man, that was classic! I wonder how long it took some people to catch on to this.

---------- Post added at 12:17 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:09 AM ----------

Well, here's something I did back when I was in high school (and also unregenerate at that time). Growing up in WNY, I decided to start saving up a bunch of Canadian quarters. (Some of you natives of the border regions along the US and Canada are probably familiar with seeing change coming from each other's countries and using them like it was no big deal - unless you tried to use them in snack machines). Well, once I saved $10 worth of Canadian quarters (all 40 of them), I used them to buy my high school lunch. Mind you, our dollar bought around CAN$1.35 back then. If I recall correctly, the cafeteria took an accounting loss because of this. On top of this, I did it twice. They never forgot about it, to say the least.


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## AThornquist (Jun 5, 2010)

I joke a lot though not always in a way that is necessarily beneficial to others. For example, in the ER a coworker of mine who is known for being a little grouchy put an identification bracelet on a little kid even though the child was crying the whole time, even nearly screaming. Afterward, this coworker went into the back of the ER for moment, at which time I stood in the doorway of my supervisor's office, which was connected to our room but out of direct line of sight. At my angle I could see into both rooms, so I told my supervisor that the kid was out here crying and screaming because our grouchy coworker smacked her for being unruly. My supervisor didn't believe me. My coworker then walked back into the office, though as I said out of sight of my supervisor, so I asked loudly, "Shirley, you did that to the kid, didn't you?" She of course assumed I was referring to putting on the bracelet, so she walked in and said, "Oh, you bet I did! Kids need to know that they aren't the boss!" At this moment, my supervisor looked confused and incredulous at the supposed admission of corporal punishment; I just stood there and laughed myself to tears, then I explained to them my perfectly executed set-up. They thought it was funny too.


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## JasonGoodwin (Jun 5, 2010)

Andres said:


> Wayne, could we argue that the jokee is benefited by having some much needed joy inserted into his/her life? I often tell my wife silly jokes that are in reality lame, but nonetheless they are so lame they make her laugh. I usually just do it to make her smile if she is having a rough day. I like to think it benefits her.


Speaking of lame jokes, I told my wife yesterday afternoon that I was going to try to make it through rush hour in Omahaha, Nebraska.


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## Caroline (Jun 5, 2010)

I invented a fictitious 'Led Presbyterian' band involving the Session and distributed a lengthy appeal for them to play 'Stairway to Heaven' at the church talent show. There were t-shirts involved also. Does that count? (Ultimately, the church organist--who is also the Clerk of Session--did play a few bars of it to satisfy Led Presbyterian fans. We were thrilled.)

They are pretty used to this sort of thing by now. The most recent was a church vote in January about which of these coffee mugs to give the pastor for his birthday. My daughter had wanted to give him a mug with a verse from Exodus because she was studying Exodus in Sunday School, so she and I together created several designs on Zazzle and let the church vote. Ultimately, however, the pastor overruled the vote and chose his own Exodus mug. And also requested the keychain, which I hadn't even thought to include in the vote.


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