# Homeschooling and Peer Interactions



## Theoretical (Dec 3, 2009)

I was homeschooled for most of my education, and at first I thought it was just me having quirkiness, but having talked to a fair number of all-the-way-through homeschoolers, I've noticed some common concerns.

In a nutshell, what I've observed in myself and seen commonly enough in peers to think it a pattern is that we come out of homeschooling well-equipped to be respectful and hard-working towards superiors. We're often quite known for interacting well with those who are about 5-10 years older than we are and also being good with those 5-10 years younger than we are. Where I've seen problems in my own life and those of my fellow homeschoolers is varying degrees of shelteredness, social awkwardness, and generally having a difficult time interacting with our peers. In a nutshell, we seem to always be outsiders not quite functioning on the same wavelength with even fellow brothers and sisters in Christ (those who are still Christian that is).

My questions are:


Do you agree with this assessment?
If you do, do you think this is a problem or a virtue we see as a vice because makes life difficult but is really to our benefit?
If you do think it's a problem, then what solutions would you recommend to remedy it (a) for graduated homeschoolers and (b) for those currently being homeschooled?
What should those of us who do not yet have children but would considering homeschooling if the Lord gives us any do to counter this problem (if you think it is one)?


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## Pergamum (Dec 3, 2009)

If we strive to have more twins, this would lessen this problem, right?.... by promoting more same-age-peer intraction rather than always relating to younger or older siblings. So...let's go out and have twins everybody!


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## Zenas (Dec 3, 2009)

I haven't found this to be true. My wife and her siblings interact very well with people their own age, as well as everyone else. That said, my wife and her little brother do seem to find some of the antics of our peers to be fairly stupid. However, her older brother seems the opposite and finds it all fun(ny).


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## JennyG (Dec 3, 2009)

I haven't thought this through, but I wonder if it could be that the interaction with peers in itself, not the difficulty with it, is the primary problem, at least for Christian families who by definition are trying to learn to lead the counter-cultural life. There must be friction somehow or other, and a smooth fit with mainstream junior culture isn't to be assumed a desideratum. If there's an element of sheltering, I'm not convinced that's always a bad thing, ....especially for girls. 
I homeschooled my own daughter from 12 to 17. She was an intense, hypersensitive and self-distrustful little mortal who wasn't made to feel a misfit by homeschooling - she already knew herself a misfit. She suffered a good deal in school both before and after those most traumatic years, and the respite was her salvation. I don't know how she would have survived adrift in the early-teens world, even with home just down the road. Some young people are strong in their own values and able to contend withany amount of peer pressure. some aren't. 
It was taken for granted once that young girls' minds and vulnerable developing sensibilities couldn't be too carefully guarded! What makes us so sure that the worldly wisdom of "throw them in and let them battle it out" has come to be right?


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## Kim G (Dec 3, 2009)

I was homeschooled and I disagree with your assessment. But maybe that's because my mom didn't lock us in our rooms all day. We played with friends from church, neighbors, and were involved in soccer, baseball, football, volleyball, and band outside the home.

I agree that many homeschooled people are better at communicating with their elders than their peers, but that doesn't mean they can't also relate to their peers.


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## TimV (Dec 3, 2009)

I've noticed the opposite speaking generally, but I have seen what you are talking about and it's always the parents not trusting anyone. No sleepovers with friends, no nothing. We may not be of the world, but we're in it.


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## Mushroom (Dec 3, 2009)

Maybe this is not actually a homeschooling issue, but one common to all, seeing that those that are closer to us in age are perceived as more competitors than those much older or younger?


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## a mere housewife (Dec 3, 2009)

I've thought about this, and am not sure if what I have thought is exactly along the same lines. But perhaps one element involved in this is that homeschoolers tend to have a more vivid sense, with generally having it more thumped into them to serve those younger and older than themselves, that one can be friends to, but not really with, most people; but relationships in one's own age group make it more difficult to hold onto this -- it's much easier to expect to have your own desires met, to think of yourself and feel awkward because it's _supposed_ to all be so reciprocal with peers (and it certainly looks like it from the outside). 

I think the kind of real reciprocity we seek is in truth, rarely present in relationships; and it's best regardless of age group to simply give to another person what you can and expect nothing in return. One finds on the balance that one has always been given much more than one could possibly give; but it takes years and some bitter moments for all of us to learn this, I think.

-----Added 12/3/2009 at 08:22:36 EST-----

(Perhaps a better way to phrase the above would be that homeschoolers are taught with regard to those younger and older than themselves that relationships are about serving others; and this is still true with regard to peers -- but much harder to practice.)


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## LawrenceU (Dec 3, 2009)

I have only seen this in families that were reclusive, and that is extremely rare among home schooling families.


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## Tripel (Dec 3, 2009)

Scott,
I agree with much of your assessment, but as Tim said, it's in cases where homeschooling is just one of several ways the parents seek to lock up their children. I've seen several of these cases, and yes, it results in socially awkward kids. 

As for what you should do for your future children, I think you should do something similar to what Kim experienced. It's fine to homeschool your kids, but at the same time you need to make sure they are getting regular interaction with peers somewhere else.


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## calgal (Dec 3, 2009)

What Daniel and Tim said. And there are a lot of reclusive ones out there.


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## LawrenceU (Dec 3, 2009)

My daughter and almost all the homeschooled students in our area get more real peer interaction than anyone could in a school room setting. Way more.


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## py3ak (Dec 3, 2009)

Theoretical said:


> Where I've seen problems in my own life and those of my fellow homeschoolers is varying degrees of shelteredness, social awkwardness, and generally having a difficult time interacting with our peers. In a nutshell, we seem to always be outsiders not quite functioning on the same wavelength with even fellow brothers and sisters in Christ (those who are still Christian that is).
> 
> My questions are:
> 
> ...



I would say it depends on the individual who was homeschooled as much as on the homeschooling: I know two homeschooled sisters, one of whom is an extrovert and one of whom is an introvert. They face quite different social challenges. All introverts develop coping mechanisms of one kind or another, more or less successfully, for dealing with awkward social situations. Those mechanisms can vary from always playing with children to becoming comfortable and relaxed. In answer to your questions, I think you have to distinguish.
Is it a good thing to feel like an outsider? Well, that depends. ARE you an outsider? If so feeling like one shows that your feelings correspond with truth, and so far, that's OK. Whether it's a problem or not depends on why you are an outsider. If you're an outsider because you're snooty, full of yourself or hyper-sensitive, then that's a problem. If you're an outsider because the inner circle you're outside of is shallow and vapid, then why would you want that to change, exactly?


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## au5t1n (Dec 3, 2009)

Part of the problem is that the majority of their peers are as dumb as rocks. Homeschoolers don't always find the same inappropriate jokes funny. Their peers just aren't good company because our society, on the whole, does not produce teens that are worth hanging around for their homeschooled peers.


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## a mere housewife (Dec 3, 2009)

Yes -- surely the point is not simply to 'socialise' -- but to learn how to serve others appropriately? 'Fitting in' and 'relating' gracefully are different and sometimes even opposed concepts: sometimes people who fit in are obnoxious and cruel -- indeed, sometimes being so is the only way to fit in. 

I actually think it is much better to learn social skills in an environment that is _about_ something other than merely trying to be liked -- as if the pursuit of popularity _qua_ popularity were all right so long as one's parents approve the setting. I learned much more about relating to others working with public school kids at McDonalds, than I did being made to attend homeschool social functions. And the public school children who worked with me to get drive through orders off the screen in thirty seconds etc. were kinder, though I was a misfit. I think this is in part because we weren't there merely for the sake of learning how to acceptably trample one another's maladept forms to scale the social heights (or how to acceptably lie down and be trampled), but to work. C. S. Lewis has a good essay on this somewhere -- about how the circles it is worthwhile to be inside of are _about_ something for which one also cares, not simply about being_ inside_ for its own sake. Too often with peers there is a temptation of just trying to be inside for the sake of being inside, which is about keeping oneself warm -- not about other people, or other interests. And too often with all the clamor to have children learn to 'socialise', parents give a confusing impression to their children that being inside for the sake of being inside is what relating to other people is all about.


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## Curt (Dec 3, 2009)

Both my daughters (now WAY grown) were homeschooled right into college. Neither has trouble with social interaction with peers - or any other group. They are, however, different. My wife and I, who work with Missionaries have concluded that just like those who used to be called MKs (missionary kids), homeschooled kids are often TCks (Third Culture Kids). They (you) grew up differently than the culture in which they live, yet don't have another "home" culture.

No categorization is complete or foolproof, but I've dealt with many HS in many cultures and have found this to be pretty widespread.


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## toddpedlar (Dec 3, 2009)

We homeschool our girls, and are frankly glad they're not "socialized" like the peers they have at our church, or in the community. One of the significant benefits of homeschooling is that they do NOT "fit into" the usually foolish and insipid "social scene" of their peers. 

They do, however, know very well how to interact with both peers AND those well outside their agegroup - something that is NOT true of most public schooled kids we come across. Most of them cannot or will not speak to adults, or if they do, don't know how to interact on anything but a single word or phrase basis - and here I'm not talking about only kids from non-Christian homes, but even Christian kids who are in the public schools. Generally speaking THEY are the ones I'd argue are less socially able. 

Among homeschool families, of course, there is a wide range of experiences too - and some homeschooled kids are among the least able to interact properly socially speaking, either in or out of their age group. However, in every case I can think of, it's not just the kids who have this issue - the parents of these kids are almost always just as unable to carry on a conversation or interact reasonably.


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## Augusta (Dec 3, 2009)

You will only have this problem if you were a "homeschooler" instead of "homeschooled." That is according to this "homeschooled" girl.

PS: It really isn't 6 mins long it has a minute or so of dead air at the end. 

[video=youtube;kQoSRfu5z_4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQoSRfu5z_4[/video]


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## TimV (Dec 3, 2009)

Traci, that was brilliant!


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## bradofshaw (Dec 3, 2009)

Augusta said:


> You will only have this problem if you were a "homeschooler" or "homeschooled." That is according to this "homeschooled" girl.
> 
> PS: It really isn't 6 mins long it has a minute or so of dead air at the end.
> 
> YouTube - Homeschooled????



This girl makes a better case for being a homeschooler than homeschooled. There is a tradeoff of "sheltered" homeschoolers generally not fitting in to the immature social scene of others their age. The benefit is that they tend to be harder working, more responsible, and get along better with adults and others like them. 

It doesn't have to be a vice, but I think a lot of social awkwardness can be alleviated by letting your kids interact with kids in the neighborhood, in church, or sports who aren't homeschooled. I was homeschooled all the way through (and I was a bit of a homeschooler) but eventually got pretty rounded socially through sports, church, and eventually college. Parents should be training kids (and modeling) in just how to interact with the secular culture, so they are salt and light rather than being absorbed by it when they do interact with it.

Encourage your kids to find friends their own age, but don't sweat it if they don't "fit in" with a largely godless teenage social scene... or worse, the Christianized copy cat youth group version.


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## LawrenceU (Dec 3, 2009)

Traci, that was hilarious. Thanks.


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## Augusta (Dec 3, 2009)

I all seriousness, I like what many have said here. There will always be some obstructions to overcome in relating with their peers because, as Todd said, their non homeschooled peers are generally functional idiots. They only care about musicians, tv and movie actors, and clothes. My kids sometimes don't know what to say to these kids that will be compelling or interesting to them because they are on such different wavelengths. However, I don't think it's my kids that have the problem.

Scott, I was not homeschooled. I was a zealous fundamentalist Christian though, and so had my struggles to fit in anyway. I don't think what you and your friends are experiencing is a bad thing if it is because of completely opposing worldviews. I think that is perfectly natural. Is it that do you think, or something else? Is it shyness?


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## Tripel (Dec 3, 2009)

Augusta said:


> There will always be some obstructions to overcome in relating with their peers because, as Todd said, their non homeschooled peers are generally functional idiots. They only care about musicians, tv and movie actors, and clothes.



There have been several comments in this thread similar to this one. Why is it acceptable to criticize public/private school kids? "Generally functional idiots." Really??? That's quite the generalization, and one that I think is unnecessary. 

There appears to be an attitude in this thread that disharmony between homeschoolers and their non-homeschooling peers is generally the fault of the latter...as if they are more worldly or even inferior.

I hope I'm just misreading things.


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## Augusta (Dec 3, 2009)

Tripel said:


> Augusta said:
> 
> 
> > There will always be some obstructions to overcome in relating with their peers because, as Todd said, their non homeschooled peers are generally functional idiots. They only care about musicians, tv and movie actors, and clothes.
> ...





That statement was too harsh. I just spoke with my 15 yr old about this. She says that when you don't know all the popular culture stuff you are thought of as a dork and unpopular. She doesn't think they are generally idiots but she said it depends on the person. So I retract my comment. Todd's way of putting it was better when he said "their foolish and isipid social scene. That is how I view it but I should be more charitable. It was ungenerous. I recently saw tv which I don't normally see and I was rupulsed by it. It put me in a very judgemental state of mind which I humbly repent of. I really need to work on this.


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## a mere housewife (Dec 3, 2009)

I agree that it's better not to fit into some circles, but in my own experience generalisations about public school kids are as worthless as generalisations about homeschooled children. I would question instilling children with such attitudes towards others, in either case?

-----Added 12/3/2009 at 01:16:27 EST-----

(Traci, I didn't see your post & I didn't mean to pile on -- or actually to direct my comment at yours -- I've heard such statements often, and on both sides in the discussion, and have known wonderful people who have been schooled all different ways.


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## LawrenceU (Dec 3, 2009)

I agree that there are social circles in which I do not want my daughter to dove tail. We were talking about this very thing of interaction with public school, private school, church school, and parochial school children last night. She has friends in each category. (She is 14, and a half if she tells you  ) She is amazed at how much energy most of the non homeschooled kids put into keeping up with pop culture. She commented on the fact that some of the homeschool kids do it too. She sees it as a total waste of time, money, and energy. (She is particularly appalled at the recent vampire movies.)

I have noticed that the non-pop culture home schooled kids seem to do a much better job at not alienating the pop culture kids than vice versa, regardless of whether they are home schooled or not. I have heard this same observation voiced by fathers of 'pop culture' kids as well.


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## Montanablue (Dec 3, 2009)

I was homeschooled K-12. I never went to a "conventional school" unless you count some courses I took in community college during high school.



> # Do you agree with this assessment?



This is true sometimes of some homeschoolers. I attended a fundamentalist church as a child and there were certainly some very "undersocialized" children there. I'm talking about kids that hardly knew how to talk to people who were not also fundamentalist Christians. I remember one girl telling me that she couldn't handle seeing girls in pants. Another girl couldn't relate to people who weren't farmers. It was weird and could have been avoided if their parents had gotten them involved in the local homeschool groups and activities.



> # If you do, do you think this is a problem or a virtue we see as a vice because makes life difficult but is really to our benefit?



I think its a problem. Certainly, we should be able to relate to those older and younger than us. (I think this is one area in which conventional education can create problems actually - segregating kids by ages). However, we should also be able to relate to those who are our age and we should be able to have discussions with those who are different than us - how else will we witness to others?



> # If you do think it's a problem, then what solutions would you recommend to remedy it (a) for graduated homeschoolers and (b) for those currently being homeschooled?



I think the only real solution is for parents to not sequester their children. (And for the record, I don't think most homeschooling parents do. They are a definite minority)


> # What should those of us who do not yet have children but would considering homeschooling if the Lord gives us any do to counter this problem (if you think it is one)



Only homeschool if there is an active homeschooling community around you. Otherwise, find a good Christian school. If there is an active community, get involved in it and get your kids involved it.


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## Tripel (Dec 3, 2009)

LawrenceU said:


> I agree that there are social circles in which I do not want my daughter to dove tail.



This is true of any parent, whether they homeschool or not. I think there are two different things being addressed in this thread: 1) homeschooled children having the social skills necessary to interact with their peers and 2) homeschool children being guarded from worldliness. I gathered that the OP was addressing the first. The second is something that should apply to all children, regardless of their school setting.


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## LawrenceU (Dec 3, 2009)

Tripel said:


> LawrenceU said:
> 
> 
> > I agree that there are social circles in which I do not want my daughter to dove tail.
> ...




True enough. But 'interaction' must be defined. What type of interaction? I have rarely seen a non homeschooled child who can have the depth of relationship with a peer that is common among homeschooled children; at least in areas that will be of consequence when the current fad turns. What do we mean by social skills? Are we talking about courtesy? Then HS kids win hands down most of the time. Are we talking about respect for peers' viewpoints? Again, I have rarely seen HS deficient in this area. Usually they are more respectful while still thinking critically. Are we talking about the ability to have meaningful conversation? Most HS children are excellent with their peers in this area. (Except for the pop culture issue, but that is of little consequence.) 

What are the social skills we are discussing? Seriously. I hear this phrase bandied about all the time, but rarely defined.


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## JennyG (Dec 3, 2009)

I think as many people have said, that the things kids become adept in if they go to a state school (sorry public school) are often just those very things you would _not_ want them even to have experience of. I went to a good little old-fashioned country grammar school - the education was solid and it was not really rough. Even so I still learned a great deal there that I would much rather not have learned.


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## Tripel (Dec 3, 2009)

LawrenceU said:


> What do we mean by social skills? Are we talking about courtesy? Then HS kids win hands down most of the time. Are we talking about respect for peers' viewpoints? Again, I have rarely seen HS deficient in this area. Usually they are more respectful while still thinking critically. Are we talking about the ability to have meaningful conversation? Most HS children are excellent with their peers in this area. (Except for the pop culture issue, but that is of little consequence.)



Those are all social skills, and you have expressed what has been your experience. That is good. 

When I said "social skills" I was primarily aiming at the mere ability to engage ones peers. I can think of several cases where kids were not able to do this. They could politely say "Yes sir" or "No mam" to an adult, but they would hide in a corner when put in a room with peers. They struggled to make small talk, not to mention meaningful conversations.
Interaction with public or private school kids doesn't have to be all about pop culture. Even if a pop culture reference is made, a child should know how to respond without sounding snooty or condescending...something I have also seen happen a lot.

With all of that said...is the lack of social skills due to homeschooling? Heavens no. It's due to reclusive parenting.


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## Montanablue (Dec 3, 2009)

Tripel said:


> LawrenceU said:
> 
> 
> > What do we mean by social skills? Are we talking about courtesy? Then HS kids win hands down most of the time. Are we talking about respect for peers' viewpoints? Again, I have rarely seen HS deficient in this area. Usually they are more respectful while still thinking critically. Are we talking about the ability to have meaningful conversation? Most HS children are excellent with their peers in this area. (Except for the pop culture issue, but that is of little consequence.)
> ...



I agree entirely. The problem isn't really homeschooling, per say. Its parents who use it as a tool to keep their children hidden away from society.


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## LawrenceU (Dec 3, 2009)

Montanablue said:


> Tripel said:
> 
> 
> > LawrenceU said:
> ...



I agree.

I hope you don't think that I am belittling non-homeschooled children. I am not. I also agree that a child should be able to engage one's peers. What I am concerned with is that they are able to engage their peers in areas beyond their own interests. That is a vital and necessary skill.


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## Theoretical (Dec 3, 2009)

Montanablue said:


> Tripel said:
> 
> 
> > LawrenceU said:
> ...


So would a fair assertion be that homeschooling is a piece of heavy artillery for sheltering parents who use it but that does not inherently cause sheltering independent of parental intent?


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## JoyFullMom (Dec 3, 2009)

I think it's a broad stroke.

Honestly, for all the scenarios mentioned, I can think of all types of families who could fit! LOL! It would be nice for life to be such an easy fix as to insure the outcome of our children based on schooling...but, it just isn't. There are knuckleheads at home, public and private schools! LOL!


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## Zenas (Dec 3, 2009)

There are socially awkward and inept children in public school. Obviously, whether one is home schooled or attends public school has little or no weight as to their ability to socially interact with peers.


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## Knoxienne (Dec 3, 2009)

I've been in churches where the majority of parents homeschool and where the majority of parents don't. As a general rule, I much prefer to be around children who are homeschooled. They relate much better to adults. That's just my experience and I realize it's a broad brush. I will say I have been around children who were homeschooled who were misbehaved and unpleasant to be around and kids from private school who are a joy to be around.


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## VictorBravo (Dec 3, 2009)

Zenas said:


> There are socially awkward and inept children in public school. Obviously, whether one is home schooled or attends public school has little or no weight as to their ability to socially interact with peers.



That is the truth. I am a 100% product of public schools (except for a few classes at our local seminary). I was a social misfit for most of that time.

Happily, we moved around a lot in my younger years so I could reinvent myself. It never really worked, but being a misfit wasn't all bad. It meant I could play football, be in drama, be in politics, be awkward around girls, be a geek, and basically be everyone's non-threatening friend. People would overlook any sort of social gaffe I may have committed because I was that weird guy. 

They even elected me to be student body president in high school despite the fact that I was a severe introvert. I think it was a collective joke--but it paid off. I learned to be comfortable in public speaking and listening to people's concerns.

Who knows how people turn out? One really awkward guy I grew up with (he'd stutter and blush whenever a girl even said "hi," and he'd almost break into tears when an athlete-type would approach him) now is a CEO of a computer company. A really well adjusted popular guy, who was the polished self-promoter, is now selling auto parts. They both are happy and decent folks, but not at all what they were in high school.


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## kvanlaan (Dec 3, 2009)

> So would a fair assertion be that homeschooling is a piece of heavy artillery for sheltering parents who use it but that does not inherently cause sheltering independent of parental intent?



We homeschool. Our children are normal, but 'odd', which is fine because of _why_ they are odd. When you say "Britney Spears" to my eldest daughter, the thinks they're implements of war from coastal France. They're not sheltered, and can speak intelligently on things like civil rights and current events, but they don't participate in most areas of pop culture.


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## LawrenceU (Dec 3, 2009)

VictorBravo said:


> Zenas said:
> 
> 
> > There are socially awkward and inept children in public school. Obviously, whether one is home schooled or attends public school has little or no weight as to their ability to socially interact with peers.
> ...



I, too, was a misfit in my youth. I didn't fit any of the stereotypes. When I was younger it bothered me. As I grew older I realised what a blessing it was to not have to fit into a peer mould. I have noticed that those who were misfits have almost to the man had much more responsibility and greater roles of leadership in their circles of influence as adults. I don't think that is an anomaly either.


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## Dwimble (Dec 3, 2009)

Theoretical said:


> ...Where I've seen problems in my own life and those of my fellow homeschoolers is varying degrees of shelteredness, social awkwardness, and generally having a difficult time interacting with our peers. In a nutshell, we seem to always be outsiders not quite functioning on the same wavelength with even fellow brothers and sisters in Christ (those who are still Christian that is)...



I doubt that necessarily has much to do with homeschooling per se...I think it's just as likely that it is simply the thing that's latched on to by some who happened to be homeschooled in an attempt to find some easy way to explain why they feel as they do. A significant segment of society have always felt like outsiders or different than their peers, regardless of how they were educated. Many people never figure out how to "fit in." And the reasons for that are many. If it weren't a common experience of many, there wouldn't be 10,000 books, movies, novels, afternoon specials, and so on about kids who feel like outsiders.

That being said, the simple fact of having been homeschooled could certainly contribute to those feelings, if for no other reason than those who are homeschooled are, in fact, different than most people...because the overwhelming majority of the population went to public school. I'm not saying that they look or act differently than others, but simply that there are many common experiences that they do not share with others around them. They didn't sit in a class every day with dozens of other kids, have to line up all the time, have the good and bad cafeteria experiences, have prom, homecoming, marching band, and so on. I don't think "missing" any of those things is bad, just different. They have their own experiences, some better, some worse...just different than others.

I liken it to what, for example, a Chinese kid might feel like if he were born and raised in America, but then moved to China when he was say 17. Even if he could speak the language he might frequently feel like an outsider with those his own age because there would be lots of common experiences he wouldn't share with his peers. But the same could be said for kids who are smarter than most, dumber than most, of a different race than most, are of a different religion than most, and so on, and so on. The larger degree to which they are different than the majority or isolated from the majority could affect the degree to which they feel different than the majority and have trouble relating to them. In my opinion these things are just part of life. Some people have an easier time coping with their differences than others. Some like it, some overcome it, and some would rather just be able to disappear into the crowd most of the time.

In my own case, my father was killed when I was three and my mother was neglectful. I can honestly say that for the bulk of my childhood I didn't know anyone who didn't have both a mom and dad, and before high school I only knew one kid whose parents were divorced. You can bet I felt like an outsider every day of my life growing up. And I was public-schooled.


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## kvanlaan (Dec 3, 2009)

> It was taken for granted once that young girls' minds and vulnerable developing sensibilities couldn't be too carefully guarded! What makes us so sure that the worldly wisdom of "throw them in and let them battle it out" has come to be right?



Nothing. Thank you. 

As for homeschooled kids drinking deep of pop culture, my children know nothing of these new vampire movies; could someone please tell me how there is an upside to steeping themselves so completely in pop culture as to follow the trends of the hour, etc.? It is not that we seek to 'shelter' them from the big bad world, but that in this pop culture that surrounds us, there is little of direct value to contribute to my children's development as a Christians. In them, can we find "what is true, what is honest, what is just, what is pure, what is lovely, what is of good report"? Instead, "if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." If they need to know about vampire movies in order to 'socialize properly' with their peers, then there's something wrong with their peers, not with my children.

And in this way, yes, my children are out of touch. WAY out of touch. But that's fine. 

They speak with adults comfortably and politely, speak with their peers comfortably and politely, and the same with youngsters. To me, that's a long way down the road to 'proper socialization' without ingesting the effluent of the world. (No prairie dresses, no 4 ft tresses. We're not Amish!)


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## LawrenceU (Dec 4, 2009)

Well said, Kevin.


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