# My Wife's Death



## bookslover (Feb 22, 2013)

My beloved, darling wife, Gloria, died on Tuesday morning, probably of congestive heart failure. She was 57, and we had been married for 32 years.

She was a devoted Christian who suffered, for much of her life, from muscular dystrophy, high blood pressure, a thyroid condition, bipolar disorder, and a couple of other things. Very early on Tuesday morning (1 AM or so), I checked on her to see if she needed to be turned in bed (not being able to do so herself because of the MD). She was foaming at the mouth and had (as I discovered later) lapsed into unconsciousness. I immediately called 911 and she was taken to a local hospital, where it was discovered that her lungs had filled with fluid, a strong indicator of congestive heart failure. This was sometime after 2 AM. She died at 9:24 AM on Tuesday, February 19, having never regained consciousness. She had a DNR (do not resuscitate) order, which I respected. She died peacefully and quietly, experiencing no pain whatsoever, passing into the glory of her Lord.

I am glad to say that she was a thoroughly convinced Christian. Despite her crippled muscles, she was a prayer warrior who prayed for all the folks on our church's lengthy prayer sheet. She also painstakingly copied out Bible verses to memorize, by hand. She gave me three wonderful children. People who knew her say the most remarkable thing about her was that she never complained, despite all her physical troubles.

I am devastated, of course. She was the love of my life. I'm trusting in the Lord to get me through this (and He will), but this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. My three children, one of whom flew home from Germany to be with us, have been magnificent.

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." - Job.1.21.


----------



## py3ak (Feb 22, 2013)

I am saddened for your loss, Richard. May the Lord's grace uphold you. The same Christ who wept at the grave of Lazarus and was moved by the loss of the widow of Nain is compassionate in this sorrow as well.


----------



## nicnap (Feb 22, 2013)

Brother, I have no words. You have my sincerest condolences and prayers.


----------



## Alan D. Strange (Feb 22, 2013)

I am so terribly sorry for you in this, Richard. I will remember you in prayer. Please know that you have my deepest sympathy.


Peace,
Alan


----------



## SolaSaint (Feb 22, 2013)

Richard,

My thoughts and prayers are with you ans your family.


----------



## Caroline (Feb 22, 2013)

I am so sorry. I am praying for you. I cannot begin to fathom such a loss, but I pray that God will console you.


----------



## Pergamum (Feb 22, 2013)

So very, very sorry. We will pray for you.


----------



## Backwoods Presbyterian (Feb 22, 2013)




----------



## Herald (Feb 22, 2013)

Richard, I am so sorry to hear this news. I am praying for you. May you know God's loving grace at this time. 

Sent from my most excellent Galaxy S III


----------



## NaphtaliPress (Feb 22, 2013)

My heartfelt condolences Richard. You are in my prayers. I know you and your family will miss your wife and their mother terribly; the Lord be with you all.And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed _are_ the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them. Rev. 14:13. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Rev. 21:4.​


----------



## KSon (Feb 22, 2013)

Richard,

I am very sorry for your loss. I will certainly pray for you in this time; for the Lord to pour out His grace of comfort and nearness.


----------



## SolaScriptura (Feb 22, 2013)

Oh, dear brother, I am so saddened for your loss. May our Lord bless you for your faithful lovingkindness to your wife all these years and may every ounce of pain you now feel be turned to joy. But in the meantime, please know that I will pray for you.


----------



## Dearly Bought (Feb 22, 2013)

My prayers are with you and your family.


----------



## VictorBravo (Feb 22, 2013)

Richard, so saddened.

May God sustain you in this time. Praising God for giving you a devoted wife.


----------



## Zach (Feb 22, 2013)

My condolences, Richard. My prayers are will you and your family.


----------



## Unoriginalname (Feb 22, 2013)

I am so sorry, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.


----------



## Edward (Feb 22, 2013)




----------



## jandrusk (Feb 22, 2013)

Sorry for your loss, brother. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might! Will keep you and your family in prayer.


----------



## baron (Feb 22, 2013)

Richard, sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family.


----------



## Gforce9 (Feb 22, 2013)




----------



## AndrewOfCymru (Feb 22, 2013)

I am so sorry to hear this news. I will pray for you and yours.


----------



## Goodcheer68 (Feb 23, 2013)

I am very sorry for your loss. I pray that the Lord would uphold you and your children during this time.


----------



## LeeD (Feb 23, 2013)

Oh brother, may God mercifully carry you through this great loss. May the Comforter give plentiful help and grace as you grieve. Praying for you.


----------



## reformedminister (Feb 23, 2013)




----------



## DMcFadden (Feb 23, 2013)

Richard,

I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers. The death of a spouse is an amazingly grievous thing that will not be easy to bear. May the Lord grant you grace and strength sufficient for the moment(s).


----------



## moral necessity (Feb 23, 2013)

Dear Richard,

My prayers and condolences are towards you. I can offer no consolation but the words of Luther to his friend, Justin Jonas, which I always thought might be an encouragement to me if ever the same were to occur.

"I have been so completely prostrated by the unexpected calamity which has befallen you that I do not know how to write. We have all sustained a loss in the death of the dearest companion of your life. Not only was she dear to me in truth, but her cheerful disposition was always a great comfort, especially because we knew that she shared all our joys and sorrows as if they were her own. It is indeed a bitter parting, for I had hoped that after I was gone she would be, among all women, the chief and best comforter for those whom I might leave behind. I am overwhelmed by sorrow when I think of her sweet spirit, her quiet manner, her faithful heart. Grief over the loss of a woman so distinguished by piety, nobility, modesty, and friendliness causes me anguish.
How you feel I can easily imagine from the effect that her death has had on me. Consolation is not to be found in the flesh at such a time as this. One must find it in the spirit, in the realization that she has gone on before us to Him who has called us all and who in his good time will take us from the misery and wickedness of this world unto himself. Amen.
You have good cause to mourn. But I pray that when you mourn you will be mindful of our common Christian lot: that although parting is very bitter according to the flesh, yet in the life beyond we shall be reunited and gathered in sweetest communion with Him who so loved us that he secured eternal life for us with his own blood and death. 'If we be dead with him, we shall also live with him,' as Saint Paul says (II Tim.2:11). And it is well with us as long as we fall asleep with sure confidence in the Son of God. This means truly that God's goodness and mercy extend beyond this life. What a gulf separates the Turks, Jews, and (what is worse) the papists and cardinals, Heinz and Mayence from this glory! Would that they could weep now in order that they might be spared weeping hereafter!
After mourning for a season, we shall enter into joy unspeakable, where your Cathy and my Magdalene (Luther's daughter), together with many others, have preceded us and daily call, admonish, and beckon us to follow. For who is not weary of the abominations of our world? - if it ought to be called a world and not a very hell of evils with which those Sodomites torment our souls and eyes day and night. And (as we read happened to Noah) they grieve the Holy Spirit so that he is displeased with the whole creation which, together with us, groans for its and our redemption with groanings which cannot be uttered. He who knows and understands our groanings will shortly hear them. Amen.
I have desired to write these things to you, for I have no doubt that you are overwhelmed with the greatest grief. Distressed as I am on your account, I cannot write more at this time. My Katie was beside herself [when she heard the news], for she and your wife were as intimately united as if they were one soul. We pray God will comfort your flesh. For your spirit has cause to rejoice when you reflect that this good and pious woman has been snatched from your side to enjoy eternal life in heaven. This you cannot doubt, for she fell asleep on Jesus' bosom with so many godly and blessed expressions of faith in him. It was in this way that my daughter also fell asleep, and this is my great and only consolation.
May the Lord, who has suffered you to be humbled, comfort you again now and forever. Amen."


----------



## 21st Century Calvinist (Feb 23, 2013)

So sorry for your loss. Praying for you all.


----------



## Mephibosheth (Feb 23, 2013)

You will be in my prayers. So very sorry for your loss.


----------



## PhilA (Feb 23, 2013)

My prayers are with you and your family.


----------



## PuritanCovenanter (Feb 23, 2013)

Thank You So Much for telling us of the place the Lord has had you port for the time being. I can't imagine the pain, confusion, sense of loss, nor of the way you will have to proceed, not having experienced your station in life. The Lord has ported you in a strange harbor. Only strange because it is new to you. The unloading and restocking for the rest of your adventure on the sea of continued work must be needfully cared for. While you are safely tied to the harbor let the workers do their part in restocking your ship. I will pray for their needful work in helping you unload and resupply that the right goods are set aboard that you may carry on joyfully in your deep sorrow. I am assured as you are that our Admiral has all the sufficient goods for our continued journey. I can only imagine the trouble you will have seeing them through the tears. May he grace your heart and soul to be able to know them when they arrive. 


Thanks for telling us Richard. Yours and your wife's testimony of grace, perseverance, and love are a goad for us to stay faithful.


----------



## Mushroom (Feb 23, 2013)

I'm so very sorry, Richard. May the Lord grant you great comfort and peace in the midst of these sorrows.


----------



## irresistible_grace (Feb 23, 2013)

My heartfelt condolences. ing for you & yours


----------



## Bill The Baptist (Feb 23, 2013)

So sorry to hear this news, Richard. I will be praying for you and your family.


----------



## Wayne (Feb 23, 2013)

Words fail, Richard. Praying for you and your family.


----------



## KMK (Feb 23, 2013)




----------



## Curt (Feb 23, 2013)

I am so sorry about this loss. May God bless you and your family as you go through this time.


----------



## joejohnston3 (Feb 23, 2013)

What an amazing and wonderful woman!! Our hearts and prayers are with you and your family for comfort and peace. Such an amazing testimony and I am so thankful she is with the Lord and that we will see her again!


----------



## christiana (Feb 23, 2013)

I pray that you will know the peace that passes all understanding and that His comfort will be felt in your heart. I pray for your children, that they will be comforted by many and that our Lord is known to them and they cling to Him for their help at this most difficult time!


----------



## Berean (Feb 23, 2013)

Richard, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear wife and friend. I'll be praying for you and your family during the coming days.

Jesus wept. -John 11:35


----------



## kvanlaan (Feb 23, 2013)

So sorry, dear brother. We will pray. My mother's funeral verse was from Isaiah 43, I have always loved it: "...Fear not: for I have redeemed thee: I have called thee by name, thou art mine." It gives wings to sorrow. May He comfort you in your loss.


----------



## JohnGill (Feb 23, 2013)

Praying for you.


----------



## earl40 (Feb 23, 2013)

Prayers and condolences to you Richard.


----------



## JennyG (Feb 23, 2013)

Praying for you and your children, Richard. May God comfort and uphold you


----------



## Rev. Todd Ruddell (Feb 23, 2013)

So very sorry for your loss, Richard. I'll be in prayer for you and yours. 
Psalm 116.15; Revelation 14.13


----------



## Gesetveemet (Feb 23, 2013)

May God fill the empty place in your heart and in your home.


----------



## timmopussycat (Feb 23, 2013)

Grieved to see this news. But I thank God that you recognize that the Lord will bring you through this – and he will. And as a friend of mine put it: 

Christ shall come in that great day with ten thousand times ten thousand saints.
The dead in Christ shall all be raised and we shall see him face to face.
No more oppression, no more fears, no more sorrows, no more tears.
The knowledge of the glory of the Lord shall fill the earth as the waters cover the sea.


----------



## Dieter Schneider (Feb 23, 2013)

She will be missed - but she won't be missing us! 1. Thessalonians 4:13-18.


----------



## Nate (Feb 23, 2013)

Brother, you and your family are in our prayers.


----------



## Claudiu (Feb 23, 2013)




----------



## A Tulip Not a Daisy (Feb 23, 2013)

Praying for you and your family.


----------



## deleteduser99 (Feb 23, 2013)

My brother I am deeply sorry for your loss. I will pray for you.


----------



## Steve Curtis (Feb 23, 2013)

So sad, brother. Praying that our faithful God will comfort you in your sorrow.


----------



## arapahoepark (Feb 23, 2013)

You are most definitely in my prayers!


----------



## Ask Mr. Religion (Feb 23, 2013)

Praying for you and your children now, brother. May the Lord bring you comfort in this great time of loss.


----------



## JBaldwin (Feb 24, 2013)

So sad to hear of your loss.


----------



## Marrow Man (Feb 24, 2013)

I cannot imagine how painful that must be for you. What a wonderful testimony to a godly woman. Rejoice that she is now with the Lord and that her body will be MD-free at the resurrection.


----------



## TylerRay (Feb 24, 2013)

I'm praying for you, brother. I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## Ruby (Feb 24, 2013)

Condolenses to you and your family. What a lovely testimony your wife was to God's amazing grace.


----------



## Cymro (Feb 24, 2013)

What an affliction to bear, but what Saviour to be yoked too. My wife and I send our love and condolences. See Isaiah 40:31.


----------



## jambo (Feb 24, 2013)

Richard

I am so sorry to hear of this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family at this time. May the Lord grant you comfort and strength, may you be sustained and upheld, and may you have the assurance of his presence in the days ahead.


----------



## Contra_Mundum (Feb 24, 2013)

Is.61:3
"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion:to give unto them beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;​that they might be called trees of righteousness,the planting of the LORD,​that he might be glorified."


----------



## AlexanderHenderson1647 (Feb 24, 2013)

Such grief for you. I only can hope for you that you'll have a taste of the ecstasy that she's delighting in, now gone to Jehovah's presence. May He keep you as you long for her. Know that she does not miss this place at all, brother. She has gone to her heavenly reward! I remind to you these thoughts of Dr. Martin Luther as his little Magdelena expired:

As his daughter lay very ill, Dr. Luther said: "I love her very much, but dear God, if it be Thy will to take her, I submit to Thee." Then he said to her as she lay in bed: "Magdalene, my dear little daughter, would you like to stay here with your father, or would you willingly go to your Father yonder?" She answered: "Darling father, as God wills." Then he said, "Dearest child, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Then he turned away and said: "I love her very much; if my flesh is so strong, what can my spirit do? God has given no bishop so great a gift in a thousand years as he has given me in her. I am angry with myself that I cannot rejoice in heart and be thankful as I ought."...Now as Magadalene lay in agony of death, her father fell down before the bed on his knees and wept bitterly and prayed that God might free her. Then she departed and fell asleep in her father's arms. As they laid her in the coffin he said: "Darling Lena, you will rise and shine like a star, yea, like the sun. I am happy in spirit, but the flesh is sorrowful and will not be content, the parting grieves me beyond measure. I have sent a saint to heaven." At her burial when the lid of the coffin was being hammered shut he was said to have called out, "Hammer away! On Resurrection Day she’ll rise again!”

In this we saints have hope!


----------



## newcreature (Feb 24, 2013)

Richard,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. The story of your wife and your love for her is heartwarming. I am glad to know that she did not suffer in her passing, and that her salvation is sure. I am praying for you and your children that the good Lord will continue to comfort and give you peace. One day you will see her again and until that time, God be with you.

Angela


----------



## CJW (Feb 24, 2013)

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers


----------



## Jesus is my friend (Feb 24, 2013)

Richard,I am deeply sorry to hear of you loss,and will be praying for you.


----------



## BobVigneault (Feb 25, 2013)

Very sad news, Richard. Praying for you brother and for your family.


----------



## Peairtach (Feb 25, 2013)

Sorry to hear this Richard, but glad to hear that she is present with the Lord, forever beyond illness and pain. Praying that the Lord will help you come to terms with your great loss.


----------



## MW (Feb 25, 2013)

Dear Richard, I am very sorry for your loss. Praying for you and yours, and trusting the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort will minister all that you need.


----------



## RamistThomist (Feb 25, 2013)




----------



## lynnie (Feb 25, 2013)

I am sorry for your great loss. May God comfort you all. Thanks for loving her so well and making her happy to have a caring husband.


----------



## reaganmarsh (Feb 25, 2013)

My deepest sympathies, brother. May you and your family know the peace of Christ in these painful days, and may you rest in the assurance that she is with the same Lord who comforts you. 

Grace and peace to you.


----------



## Theogenes (Feb 26, 2013)

Richard,
I'm very sorry to hear about your wife. May our Heavenly Father comfort you as only He can. "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints". Psa 116:15.
Jim


----------



## Jerusalem Blade (Feb 26, 2013)

I feel for the terrible loss you have sustained, Richard. From the hymn, "Be still, my soul",


Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shall you better know his love, his heart,
Who comes to soothe your sorrow and your fears.
Be still, my soul: your Jesus can repay
From his own fullness all he takes away.


----------



## rookie (Feb 26, 2013)

I am so sorry for your loss brother. Praying the Lord will comfort you and your family through this..


----------



## Semper Fidelis (Feb 26, 2013)

Very sad for you Richard. I have lifted you up before the Lord. May He comfort you during this time of great sorrow with the knowledge that death is an enemy but an ultimately defeated foe.


----------



## malum in se (Feb 26, 2013)




----------



## bookslover (Feb 26, 2013)

Many, many thanks to all. One of the few things keeping my head above water right now is the knowledge that she has been perfected - no diseases, no conditions, no sins, and no sin nature, and in the presence of her Savior - and she will be this way for all eternity. As long as I remind myself of this, life is somewhat tolerable. Puttering around the house with necessary household chores also helps. Life doesn't care how you feel. Things still need to get done. Our three grown children have been wonderful to me, also.


----------



## bookslover (Mar 1, 2013)

The memorial service for Gloria is tomorrow afternoon (March 2). I'm steeling myself for it. God will be glorified, but I'll probably feel like I'm getting my heart ripped out of my chest all over again.


----------



## Herald (Mar 1, 2013)

Richard, you continue to be in my prayers.


----------



## bookslover (Mar 4, 2013)

Well, Gloria's memorial service went very well. The church was pretty much packed out. Lots of people wore red (her favorite color). During the time we had for sharing memories of her, several people got up and really demonstrated my wife's wonderful character and personality. I got up last (as planned) and managed to get through my time without breaking down completely. Many tears were shed (including by our usually no-nonsense, steel-nerved former New Yorker pastor), many hugs were exchanged, and God was glorified in Jesus Christ throughout. At Gloria's insistence (because of her many physical problems, we had discussed her memorial service - if needed - in advance), a simple but strong gospel presentation was included in the pastor's sermon (there were many unbelievers in attendance). She wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

At the end, emotionally exhausted but glad that God had been praised, I looked at the time to discover that nearly 2 hours had gone by.

By the way, a female friend of mine was unable to attend, but she told me she would wear a red scarf on Saturday for Gloria - and she had never met my wife!


----------



## Mushroom (Mar 4, 2013)

Tears shed here with you, brother! What a sweet and tender testimony of our God's faithfulness to His people, even in the midst of heartaches! One day, on the shores of that river that flows from His throne, I will rejoice with you and Gloria, because Jesus "was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification"!


----------

