# Breast feeding vs. formula



## xirtam (Aug 29, 2013)

What are some of your views on formula?

Should a mom only breast feed? If so, how long? 

If not, how much is a good balance between breast feeding and using formula?

We used formula pretty early on with our first child, but have not with this child, although we are uncertain if he is getting enough since he gets up a lot through the night.

Any info would be appreciated.

In Christ,


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## Mindaboo (Aug 29, 2013)

Breast feeding is always best when possible. It builds a child's immune system, and it's the perfect milk for a baby. With that being said, when I had my oldest daughter I tried to breast feed, but we ended up on formula. I was uncomfortable with it. I'd never seen anyone breast feed a child before. My mom thought it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen. My last three were all breast fed, the second and third went on formula after five months. My milk supply wasn't strong and dried up. I just wasn't able to nurse for long. I had supplemented each of them with a bottle. When baby number four came I nursed her with absolutely no supplement, and we made it to her first birthday. I've read the first year is important for breast feeding. 

The only time I'd be concerned about the baby not getting enough is if he is losing weight. I always worried about it, but my children were growing and healthy. My doctor always told me as long as they were growing not to worry. Babies go through growth spurts and often need to nurse more. My last child woke up through the night a lot during the whole first year. My formula fed babies did too. I never noticed much of a difference. 

I've been all over the place with breast feeding and formula. Everyone has a different answer to this type of question. I've known women who didn't breast feed at all, and I've known women who breast fed their child until they were four years of age. I really believe it is a personal decision.


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## xirtam (Aug 29, 2013)

Thank you, Mindy.

I would like to stick with breast feeding, because I think he is growing rather well. The tension comes in when it seems as though he wakes up every other hour and nothing is working, so the "simple" solution seems to be to give him a bottle. But I think, as you said, no matter if you are breast feeding or giving formula, your child will wake up when you want sleep. We are all adjusting, but I think I better do a better job with helping and encouraging mama that she is doing a good job and for her to not give up.

Thank you again.

In Christ,


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## Mindaboo (Aug 29, 2013)

How old is your baby? I think it's wise to encourage mama to keep going. Support is essential, especially if she's not sure of herself. If the baby is growing I wouldn't stress about it.


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## RamistThomist (Aug 29, 2013)

A lot depends on the first few weeks with the child. If the mother takes ill or...other circumstances...happen, b-feeding simply might not be an option.


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## DeniseM (Aug 29, 2013)

Breast feeding also helps the baby develop a healthy digestive system. This can help prevent allergies and other health problems later when the child is older. With our first child, I stopped breast feeding at about six weeks, and he is the one that ended up with food allergies, eczema and asthma. With the other children, I continued breast feeding until they were around a year old or until they weaned themselves and the only one with any problems(a milk allergy) is the one that had to be in the NICU when he was first born and was given two different IV antibiotics throughout the duration of his first week of life. Antibiotics can mess up the digestive system, and if you mess up the digestive system other problems are sure to follow.


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## Miss Marple (Aug 29, 2013)

If he is waking up every hour, it is possible the problem is confusion between formula and breast feeding.

In my opinion, you generally can't do both. I am not a doctor. But.

Formula delivers fast and furious. Nursing is slower and takes more time.

If baby is used to drinking for five minutes and being done on the bottle, he is unlikely to settle in for a half hour of breast feeding. So he nurses for five minutes; then an hour later, he's hungry. Of course. I'm sure he's also confused!

So I'd just go breast feed all the way and view it as a season and enjoy it as best you can. Around 9 months you can start him eating rice cereal and so forth and he will not want or need to nurse as much or as often. Why be in a hurry? Feed your baby.


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## Scottish Lass (Aug 29, 2013)

Breast-fed children often wake more because breast milk is more easily digested by his body (one of the *many* reasons it's best). Keeping him close by (crib in the room, co-sleeper attached to the bed, etc.) can help with that. Gracie would even nurse in her sleep. It beats walking down the hall to make a bottle most times.  For the vast majority of kids, this is a pretty short phase and everyone will get more sleep in just a few months.


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## Romans922 (Aug 29, 2013)

Now you might think I am ignorant because I am a man, but I'll agree with Anna. My kid is one of the few who have not slept well after a few months (mostly due to teething). 

Breastmilk vs Formula: http://www.bcbabyfriendly.ca/whatsinbreastmilkposter.pdf

But as a husband, keep encouraging. If the baby is hungry he will ask for food (crying). 

Remember that newborns don't have very big stomachs (sizes: http://sweetsprouts.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/newborn-stomach-size.gif), so it doesn't take long to digest and need some more. It also doesn't take much to fill them up.

FACT: Breastmilk is the best thing for your child. God made them (babies and mommies) that way.


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## xirtam (Aug 29, 2013)

Mindaboo said:


> How old is your baby? I think it's wise to encourage mama to keep going. Support is essential, especially if she's not sure of herself. If the baby is growing I wouldn't stress about it.



Not even a month yet. There is tension on this issue.


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## Romans922 (Aug 29, 2013)

Also Brian, this may be of some help, but I have no clue because I don't know some of the places mentioned there (can't read Korean): LLLI | La Leche League of South Korea

If anything you could call and seek help.

You might find a few other places that could help by entering in your information: http://www.ilca.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3337


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## Scottish Lass (Aug 29, 2013)

Is there a way she can get extra support from other nursing moms? In the States, many cities have La Leche League meetings and they are an international group. Moms can get great advice and encouragement there as well as at home. Nursing was hard for us; I ended up pumping my milk for fourteen months even though my daughter couldn't nurse because I knew it was essential for her. Was it hard? You bet, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The cost alone of formula can be oppressive for many families, too---pragmatic, but a factor, nonetheless. 

I commend you for supporting your wife through this, especially if there's tension.

Oh, hey, look--Andrew beat me to the La Leche League info and included a link!


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## Backwoods Presbyterian (Aug 30, 2013)

My wife is physically unable to nurse longer than a week at best and so all four of my kids had to go straight to formula. They all are healthy, wealthy, and wise. My kids are almost never sick (I cannot even remember the last time any of my children had so much as a cold). 

Don't feel like (and certainly do not allow your wife to think she is) you are a failure if you have to go to formula sooner rather than later.


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## Mindaboo (Aug 30, 2013)

Backwoods Presbyterian said:


> Don't feel like (and certainly do not allow your wife to think she is) you are a failure if you have to go to formula sooner rather than later.



It's absolutely not failure if nursing doesn't work out. My children have been fine with being formula fed. I don't see a difference in the mental or physical abilities of the one I nursed exclusively for a year and those I did not. 

If the baby is only around a month old the baby will not sleep much anyway. It won't matter if he's formula fed or breast fed. If she's able I'd encourage her to continue to try, but if she can't, she can't. It's not the end of the world if the baby is on formula. I would stay away from soy formula for a male. It's not good for them.


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## irresistible_grace (Aug 30, 2013)

I am NOT a fan of formula UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

Should a mom only breast feed? YES, if at all possible. If so, how long? At least the first year of life. The first 6 months exclusively, then at six months introduce fruits, veggies, & meat etc.

If not, how much is a good balance between breast feeding and using formula? If you are going to do both then you need to make sure that she is using that thing that attaches to her breast so that the formula is a supplement OTHERWISE don't bother breastfeeding at all because the more you introduce bottles the harder it is on Mom to produce milk & it will hurt her more than help her. The first month is the hardest.

Breastfeeding is becoming a lost art. I think this is tragic. I hear all the time that not everyone can breastfeed but I think everyone should at least TRY. Obviously, she is trying & that is what counts. I know far too many women that aren't even considering it an option.

If he is not even a month yet, I doubt that breastfeeding is his biggest issue (as far as waking up in the night/not sleeping etc.). He is still adjusting & Mom is still adjusting. You may have unrealistic expectations as to his eating & sleeping schedule. 

I nursed a lot at night with all three of mine. The first three months of each of children's life, we lived on the couch so I could nurse while sleeping (without fear of Daddy rolling over on the baby)!

Regardless of what you decide to do...
I'm ing!


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## DeniseM (Aug 30, 2013)

I should add that certain families are predisposed to certain health problems, like allergies, asthma, etc. I had asthma as a kid and allergies and eczema also run in my family. In families that are predisposed to certain health ailments, whether the mother breast feeds or not can sometimes be the deciding factor as to whether the child will develop these same problems. The mother passes antibodies of many kinds to her child, through the breast milk.


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## jwithnell (Aug 30, 2013)

Many babies take a while to settle down and this can be difficult for the whole family. If your baby is gaining weight, it sounds he is doing well. Medical advice changes, but four to six months of exclusive breast feeding is generally the healthiest for the baby, when possible. Next, follow whatever your doctor recommends for introducing foods, but continue nursing through the first year. May your family be blessed in its efforts.


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## KMK (Aug 30, 2013)

My wife nursed our four biological babies, but we formula-fed our four adopted babies. in my opinion, the major difference is not a matter of physical health but of emotional attachment.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

Cameronian said:


> A lot depends on the first few weeks with the child. If the mother takes ill or...other circumstances...happen, b-feeding simply might not be an option.



This is not the case. Mama is fine and so is the baby.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

DeniseM said:


> Breast feeding also helps the baby develop a healthy digestive system. This can help prevent allergies and other health problems later when the child is older. With our first child, I stopped breast feeding at about six weeks, and he is the one that ended up with food allergies, eczema and asthma. With the other children, I continued breast feeding until they were around a year old or until they weaned themselves and the only one with any problems(a milk allergy) is the one that had to be in the NICU when he was first born and was given two different IV antibiotics throughout the duration of his first week of life. Antibiotics can mess up the digestive system, and if you mess up the digestive system other problems are sure to follow.




Thank you for the info, Denise.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

Miss Marple said:


> If he is waking up every hour, it is possible the problem is confusion between formula and breast feeding.
> 
> In my opinion, you generally can't do both. I am not a doctor. But.
> 
> ...



Thank you. The thing is that we agreed to allow my lovely wife to enter a two week treatment center two days after giving birth. Basically, she got to stay in a hotel for new moms, with a bunch of other mothers, in individual rooms and they breast feed when they can, but the majority of the time, the babies are in a big room in little bins having the nurses care for them. I would visit each day but only see my son for a short period of time. They feed them formula, when the mother couldn't or was too tired...

Then we brought our son home on the 20th and he has since been breast feeding only. Undoubtedly, this is a big change for both mama and baby. He is actually getting much bigger and has been sleeping 2-3 hours at a time. I don't see any problem, except for my own selfishness getting in the way.

My dear wife is adamant about putting him on formula.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

> Breast-fed children often wake more because breast milk is more easily digested by his body (one of the *many* reasons it's best). Keeping him close by (crib in the room, co-sleeper attached to the bed, etc.) can help with that. Gracie would even nurse in her sleep. It beats walking down the hall to make a bottle most times. For the vast majority of kids, this is a pretty short phase and everyone will get more sleep in just a few months.




I understand and agree.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

Romans922 said:


> Now you might think I am ignorant because I am a man, but I'll agree with Anna. My kid is one of the few who have not slept well after a few months (mostly due to teething).
> 
> Breastmilk vs Formula: http://www.bcbabyfriendly.ca/whatsinbreastmilkposter.pdf
> 
> ...



Thank you, Sir. I'll look into your links.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

Backwoods Presbyterian said:


> My wife is physically unable to nurse longer than a week at best and so all four of my kids had to go straight to formula. They all are healthy, wealthy, and wise. My kids are almost never sick (I cannot even remember the last time any of my children had so much as a cold).
> 
> Don't feel like (and certainly do not allow your wife to think she is) you are a failure if you have to go to formula sooner rather than later.




Your advice is good to keep in mind, especially if the tension breaks and then I know that formula "ain't" so bad.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

Mindaboo said:


> Backwoods Presbyterian said:
> 
> 
> > Don't feel like (and certainly do not allow your wife to think she is) you are a failure if you have to go to formula sooner rather than later.
> ...



Thank you, Mindy.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

irresistible_grace said:


> I am NOT a fan of formula UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
> 
> Should a mom only breast feed? YES, if at all possible. If so, how long? At least the first year of life. The first 6 months exclusively, then at six months introduce fruits, veggies, & meat etc.
> 
> ...



Thank you, Jessica.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

jwithnell said:


> Many babies take a while to settle down and this can be difficult for the whole family. If your baby is gaining weight, it sounds he is doing well. Medical advice changes, but four to six months of exclusive breast feeding is generally the healthiest for the baby, when possible. Next, follow whatever your doctor recommends for introducing foods, but continue nursing through the first year. May your family be blessed in its efforts.



Thank you.


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## xirtam (Aug 31, 2013)

KMK said:


> My wife nursed our four biological babies, but we formula-fed our four adopted babies. in my opinion, the major difference is not a matter of physical health but of emotional attachment.



Thanks, Ken.


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## AlexanderHenderson1647 (Aug 31, 2013)

This is something I've researched quite a bit. All six of my children have been breastfed by their mum, even when she had to make significant dietary changes on account of a food allergy in one case. Here is a medical site I found helpful in that respect in terms of longevity/balance etc.

Infant Feeding | Doctor | Patient.co.uk


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## Miss Marple (Aug 31, 2013)

"the majority of the time, the babies are in a big room in little bins having the nurses care for them. I would visit each day but only see my sons for periods of time. They feed them formula, when the mother couldn't or was too tired..."

I think this is the problem, right here. No going back, but I wouldn't do that again.


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## JoannaV (Aug 31, 2013)

Maybe if you could share some particular reasons your wife is leaning towards formula we could help brainstorm some ways to help her.
*Personally* I find the idea of using formula to be very inconvenient, time-consuming, and labor-intensive, so even when I had some _very_ painful problems in the first few months of breastfeeding I still never considered formula. But for others the opposite will seem true, for example the father can be much more involved in making/feeding the formula so it is less labor & time consuming for the mother. This is especially true when combined with tiredness. Once I figured out how to nurse the baby lying down that was the best way to maximise sleep. But if she has to get up to feed baby then it may seem easier to do something that allows the father to share in night-feedings.

Does she have a breast pump or not?

It's interesting that if you survey a large group of women asking which was most important to them, the physical benefits of breastfeeding or the emotional, you will find half say one and half the other. So for some women the biggest motivation in feeding decisions will be the physical benefits, whereas for others it will be the emotional benefits. So for some women being convinced of the physical benefits of breastfeeding will be a major motivation in persevering at it, whereas for others that would not do quite so much to convince them. If your wife is one to whom the emotional benefits is more important that may be something she has to experience more than research about. The treatment center you mentioned does not sound like it would foster that kind of experience. Your wife may be feeling that she connects better to the baby when she is well-rested, and has not found breast-feeding to be a time of particular bonding.

It's hard when the surrounding culture is not supportive, even when the husband is supportive  If most of the women she comes in contact with do not breast-feed, or if she has not seen it a lot, it will be hard for her to view it as natural or to be relaxed about it.


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## xirtam (Sep 1, 2013)

AlexanderHenderson1647 said:


> This is something I've researched quite a bit. All six of my children have been breastfed by their mum, even when she had to make significant dietary changes on account of a food allergy in one case. Here is a medical site I found helpful in that respect in terms of longevity/balance etc.
> 
> Infant Feeding | Doctor | Patient.co.uk



Thank you, Christopher. I'll check it out.


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## xirtam (Sep 1, 2013)

Miss Marple said:


> "the majority of the time, the babies are in a big room in little bins having the nurses care for them. I would visit each day but only see my sons for periods of time. They feed them formula, when the mother couldn't or was too tired..."
> 
> I think this is the problem, right here. No going back, but I wouldn't do that again.


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## xirtam (Sep 1, 2013)

JoannaV said:


> Maybe if you could share some particular reasons your wife is leaning towards formula we could help brainstorm some ways to help her.
> *Personally* I find the idea of using formula to be very inconvenient, time-consuming, and labor-intensive, so even when I had some _very_ painful problems in the first few months of breastfeeding I still never considered formula. But for others the opposite will seem true, for example the father can be much more involved in making/feeding the formula so it is less labor & time consuming for the mother. This is especially true when combined with tiredness. Once I figured out how to nurse the baby lying down that was the best way to maximise sleep. But if she has to get up to feed baby then it may seem easier to do something that allows the father to share in night-feedings.
> 
> Does she have a breast pump or not?
> ...



My lovely wife is Korean. There may be a mix of "reasons" why, but I am sure the way of the culture has a major influence. The other apparent reason is just "personal". I don't want to get into too much here, because I love my dear wife, but I would like her to know that I fully support using formula, when or if, she is unable to feed our son. At the moment, there is no such condition under which she is hindered in this process, besides my lovely wife's _preference_. 

Although, I might add, that over the last couple of days we have been working together and I have been trying to encourage here more to "Stay come and carry on". I mean, my son is the most handsome boy and he is growing like a champion, it just seems like in those "dark hours", however short, all seems to be lost. 

My lovely wife does pump and has managed to store some in the freezer. We are yet to use formula since they have come home from the clinic, but that has come about by me standing my ground and undergoing severe attacks. As the time ticks by, our boy settles in and falls back asleep. No casualties and another war has been avoided.


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## kvanlaan (Sep 2, 2013)

Just our $2 here - my wife has been breastfeeding constantly since 2006. Babies, toddler, you name it. In addition to all the other pluses listed above, she sees it as a God-ordained rest for her (it forces her to sit for 20 minutes at a time, and in a house with 12 children, that takes some doing). We also found from a number of studies that she has almost a 0% chance of breast cancer because of her accumulated years of lactation. Not sure of the science behind it, but we liked it!


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## xirtam (Sep 4, 2013)

kvanlaan said:


> Just our $2 here - my wife has been breastfeeding constantly since 2006. Babies, toddler, you name it. In addition to all the other pluses listed above, she sees it as a God-ordained rest for her (it forces her to sit for 20 minutes at a time, and in a house with 12 children, that takes some doing). We also found from a number of studies that she has almost a 0% chance of breast cancer because of her accumulated years of lactation. Not sure of the science behind it, but we liked it!



Thank you, Sir. You surely have some weight behind your words with twelve children!

In Christ,


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## Joyful Noise (Sep 12, 2013)

I have been nursing for four years and have two children. With both, I found the HARDEST time to be about 2-4 weeks post-partum. After that, it got much easier. There are growth spurts at 2, 4, 6, 12, and 16 weeks (and they can happen other times too) when the baby will want to nurse hourly or more often. They happen later too, but by then you're used to them and know to plan on spending a lot of time on the couch with lots of snacks and water. Once nursing becomes less awkward (and painful, in my case) and engorgement is less of an issue, it is easy breezy goin'!

Also, try co-sleeping. A good bed rail is the safety 1st secure top bed rail because there is no gap to pose a hazard. Milk supply building hormones are released through night nursing and eventually mom can go back to sleep after latching the baby on. We have found a pretty good balance with co-sleeping by having the kids spend the first stretch of the night in their own bed, then when the baby needs to nurse I go to get her and she stays with me.

The benefits of nursing have been well argued here, and it really does wind up being easier than formula. Someone once told me to commit to 6 weeks, then to shoot for 12. It really should be second nature by then unless there are other technical difficulties. And it really forces mama to rest- at 4 weeks she is still recovering too!


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## xirtam (Sep 12, 2013)

Thank you Lindsay. Again, thank you all for our advice and prays. We have not opened the one can of formula that is sitting in the cupboard! And we have a good supply of breast milk in the freezer. 

There have been times when tension arose, but I think it is getting easier over all. Mama even said today that our little boy is getting chubby - in a good way. We covet your prayers.


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