# Going to church when parents dont have same beliefs



## MikelKenn89 (Dec 15, 2009)

what do I do to be spiritually fed when my mom and her husband have differing beliefs? My mom said she wouldn't "mind" taking me to a reformed church if we found one close enough. but I just dont feel right asking her to take me somewhere she doesn't truly want to Go. I love my mother very much and respect her. 

Heres why I cant go to a church myself. I am 20 years Old disabled and in a wheelchair. I have no accessible car. so anywhere I go, she goes. basically

any advice?


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## Mushroom (Dec 15, 2009)

There's 3 PCA congregations (one is Korean) in the Louisville, KY area. Would that be too far? Check for them on the PCA Directory, then call the closest one's office and let them know your situation. We do that here all the time. I'm sure somebody'd be glad to give you a ride.


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## Reformed Thomist (Dec 15, 2009)

What are your mom's beliefs?


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## raekwon (Dec 15, 2009)

Hi Mikel,

Just for clarity's sake, when you say that your mom and her husband "have differing beliefs", do you mean that they have differing beliefs from you or from eachother?


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## A.J. (Dec 15, 2009)

Brother Mike,

I think you it would be truly helpful if your mother understands what you believe and why you believe it (as the White Horse Inn folks say). Prayerfully and slowly explain to her your convictions - trusting God to open her heart to the truths of His Word. If she becomes convinced of your beliefs over time, then that would be beneficial to both of you. In that way, she wouldn't feel "forced" to go with you to the church you want to attend. 

Praying for you and your mother.


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## MikelKenn89 (Dec 15, 2009)

Reformed Thomist said:


> What are your mom's beliefs?



I dont really know what to "call her" i know she was raised pentecostal and she believes in laying of hands and tongues and things of that nature but i wouldn't exactly say shes full fledge pentecostal.

the last church we went to was a non denom church, a wonderful church with a very nice pastor and I am pretty sure he believed in the essentials and nothing blatantly heretical 

and raekwon It's both actually My mom i would be willing to call a christian *though she needs to learn alot more on what is sin and what isn't* 
her husband I would say is a believer, Born Again? i am not sure. he's had issues with churches but he's said he wants to go again. 

sidenote, I dont want anyone to get an impression i dont respect my moms husband enough to call him step dad, it's just that my father died and it hurts to say the word "dad" to someone else


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## MarieP (Dec 15, 2009)

MikelKenn89 said:


> what do I do to be spiritually fed when my mom and her husband have differing beliefs? My mom said she wouldn't "mind" taking me to a reformed church if we found one close enough. but I just dont feel right asking her to take me somewhere she doesn't truly want to Go. I love my mother very much and respect her.
> 
> Heres why I cant go to a church myself. I am 20 years Old disabled and in a wheelchair. I have no accessible car. so anywhere I go, she goes. basically
> 
> any advice?



Mikel,

I am not able to drive either, and I have been going to a different church than my parents since I was 17 and left the PC(USA) for more Biblical pastures. My first question would be if they are okay with you going elsewhere, which they said they were. My other question is whether or not there are Biblical grounds for leaving your current church.

We have some folks at RBC Louisville who live in Indiana. I'm sure someone would be able to help out!

http://www.sermonaudio.com/source_detail.asp?sourceid=rbclou


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## MikelKenn89 (Dec 15, 2009)

MarieP said:


> MikelKenn89 said:
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> > what do I do to be spiritually fed when my mom and her husband have differing beliefs? My mom said she wouldn't "mind" taking me to a reformed church if we found one close enough. but I just dont feel right asking her to take me somewhere she doesn't truly want to Go. I love my mother very much and respect her.
> ...


 I live in the new albany area. off of blacksiston's mill I plan on going to a church in louisville but i am trying to find out which of the ones i know of is the closest


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## TimV (Dec 15, 2009)

Hi!

I'm thankful that you have such a mom and step dad. I'm sure you're grateful as well. I remember taking disabled people to and from church and by and large their parents didn't care. Perhaps do the research with help from people here, and begin by asking them if they'd be willing to try a church that you would like to investigate once per month or so? And due to the circumstances consider praising those things that are good with their current church, that is if it's not out and out heretical.

Thanks for your example of respecting parents, and I hope for a great church for you in the future!


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## MarieP (Dec 15, 2009)

MikelKenn89 said:


> MarieP said:
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Well, the closest Calvinistic churches are Immanuel Baptist and Third Avenue Baptist.


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## Susanna (Dec 15, 2009)

Have you thought about calling the church where you'd like to go and asking them for a ride?


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## Andres (Dec 15, 2009)

Mikel, I think it a blessing that your mother is willing to go with you to the reformed church! Sure, she may not be completely enamored with the idea right now, but I will confess that sometimes my flesh isn't totally excited about prayer, study, reading, etc. But I crucify my flesh because I know that ultimately those things are beneficial to me and will help to conform me to the image of Christ. 
My point is that if she is willing to go, then I see that as door God has opened to allow her to receive the Gospel and grow in Christ. Plus, eventually maybe your stepdad will come around start going with you too! It is certainly not beyond the scope of God's power!


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## MikelKenn89 (Dec 15, 2009)

TimV said:


> Hi!
> 
> I'm thankful that you have such a mom and step dad. I'm sure you're grateful as well. I remember taking disabled people to and from church and by and large their parents didn't care. Perhaps do the research with help from people here, and begin by asking them if they'd be willing to try a church that you would like to investigate once per month or so? And due to the circumstances consider praising those things that are good with their current church, that is if it's not out and out heretical.
> 
> Thanks for your example of respecting parents, and I hope for a great church for you in the future!



I thank you for your kind words and I definately would stay at the non denom church for now, except we dont go there anymore because of a shady congregation. The pastor of the church was wonderful. and he's still a close personal friend of us to this day *which reminds me i'd like to see what he thinks about reformed theology* 

may i ask a question about the reformed baptist church in louisville?

how big is it exactly? I tend to like churches where you can become almost friends with the pastor/deacons and congregation


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## MarieP (Dec 15, 2009)

MikelKenn89 said:


> TimV said:
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> > Hi!
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Our current membership is around 130, with more than that attending on the Lord's Day. And as for "almost friends" that is out of the question because we are all "truly friends" here


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## Susanna (Dec 15, 2009)

Can't imagine a Reformed Baptist Church where you WOULDN'T get to know just about everyone rather well, ESPECIALLY those who'd be eager to 'adopt' you.


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## MikelKenn89 (Dec 15, 2009)

MarieP said:


> MikelKenn89 said:
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haha great. yeah I feel a bit uncomfortable asking for prayers in huge churches because it doesnt seem very personal ya know? i mean it is more comforting to know that the pastor knows your situation more than just in a vague way so he can really know what he's praying for


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## MarieP (Dec 15, 2009)

MikelKenn89 said:


> MarieP said:
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Amen!! I am so thankful to have elders who not only teach sound doctrine but live lives worthy of their calling. My elders, especially Pastor Jim, the main preaching pastor, talk a lot about the importance of loving the brethren. But I know it's not just words for them because I've seen it lived out so much as well! And there are so many other godly men (and women) here that I have learned from too!!


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## Glenn Ferrell (Dec 15, 2009)

Mike: I highly recommend the Reformed Baptist congregation in Louisville, or the Associate Reformed Presbyterian congregation. I also agree it is great if your mom is willing to take you to one of these churches, or one of the PCA congregations. Even if her beliefs are different from yours now, faith comes by hearing God's word faithfully preached. Also, regardless of the size of the congregation, you will find friends with whom you can share and from whom you can seek prayer and advice.


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## fredtgreco (Dec 15, 2009)

Brad said:


> There's 3 PCA congregations (one is Korean) in the Louisville, KY area. Would that be too far? Check for them on the PCA Directory, then call the closest one's office and let them know your situation. We do that here all the time. I'm sure somebody'd be glad to give you a ride.


I can highly recommend Redeemer PCA in Louisville. The pastor there (David Dively) is a good friend.

I would avoid Community PCA like the plague.


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## MarieP (Dec 15, 2009)

Glenn Ferrell said:


> Mike: I highly recommend the Reformed Baptist congregation in Louisville, or the Associate Reformed Presbyterian congregation. I also agree it is great if your mom is willing to take you to one of these churches, or one of the PCA congregations. Even if her beliefs are different from yours now, faith comes by hearing God's word faithfully preached. Also, regardless of the size of the congregation, you will find friends with whom you can share and from whom you can seek prayer and advice.



Tim Phillips is the pastor at Midlane Park ARP, and he and his wife are very kind and godly folks!

Glenn (I almost called you William ), do you know Hobart Newton??


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## Mushroom (Dec 15, 2009)

MarieP said:


> Glenn Ferrell said:
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> > Mike: I highly recommend the Reformed Baptist congregation in Louisville, or the Associate Reformed Presbyterian congregation. I also agree it is great if your mom is willing to take you to one of these churches, or one of the PCA congregations. Even if her beliefs are different from yours now, faith comes by hearing God's word faithfully preached. Also, regardless of the size of the congregation, you will find friends with whom you can share and from whom you can seek prayer and advice.
> ...


Tim Phillips.... our own *Marrow Man* here on PB!


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## MarieP (Dec 15, 2009)

Brad said:


> MarieP said:
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Yup! Realized I should have linked it but had to go get my laundry. And Scottish Lass is Anna Phillips!

I've used up my "thanks" button, btw!


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## sastark (Dec 16, 2009)

Just a note: even though your mother may differ with you theologically, she may have some wise insight into the character of the different congregations you visit. Take her with you. Listen to what she says about the churches. She will get to hear some Reformed preaching, and you will get to hear the advice of an older, Christian woman.


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## Scottish Lass (Dec 16, 2009)

Since you're RB, I highly recommend RBC Louisville, as Marie and others have suggested. I think you'd find it a good fit; we've been blessed to worship with them on several occasions and truly enjoy the close fellowship extended to us. We'd also love to have you visit/worship with us, but we're farther than RBC with no one traveling from Indiana (unlike RBC).


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