# Attending a funeral of a Roman Catholic.



## Free Christian (Sep 21, 2013)

Hello everyone.
I have often wondered what others thought about attending the funeral service of a Roman Catholic in that church?
Many years ago I did and to say I was uncomfortable is an understatement. I did not join in anything that was done, just attended.
I thought to myself that I could not do it again and would only go to the burial. Which at this stage is what I would do now.
Does anyone know of a good reason Biblically why one should or should not go?
What are other peoples thoughts and experiences in regards to that please?


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## jambo (Sep 21, 2013)

I have attended a funeral held in an RC church. I did not take part in any way and just sat at the back. Although I don't like the whole idea of a requiem mass, I was there simply to support friends whose loved one had died and did not see it as being different to any other none Christian funeral.

You go to a funeral to show your support for the family and if it is a Christian funeral there is an opportunity for thanksgiving for a live lived to the glory of God. And such funerals have done much to commend our Lord. When it is a non-Christian's funeral it is very different and you are only there to show your support for the bereaved. 

Although the mass may annoy you, I have been equally annoyed by other funeral services of non-Christians where the minister goes on about how great the deceased was who never harmed anyone and is now at peace in heaven above. Yet you know fine well the guy never darkened a church door nor had any time or the gospel. Is there any difference between lies or false hope told in an RC church or in so called Protestant churches?


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## Free Christian (Sep 21, 2013)

Thanks Stuart. Always good to see or hear it from another's perspective. 
Some things to think about there indeed.


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## GloriousBoaz (Sep 21, 2013)

That's a tough one I went to a showing for a friend of mine that all signs point to that he is in hell, and you realize who much you love the people you are there to support and want to tell them they are on their way to hell too, and most people would say that occasion/situation is completely inappropriate for that but its never inappropriate to tell the truth and anyone who says otherwise is a wolf in sheeps clothing, the manner in which we speak with them or present our selves is the key and to be honest its a hard situation you've described, I doubt there is a single answer for that but it is more of a conscience issue mixed with a case by case answer. Jesus said let the "dead bury their dead" I don't know it is a tough one, the Holy Spirit might even have you go and stand up and rebuke the priest during the funeral itself Ian Paisley style just be ready to do God's will; do what is right. If it were me and this happen to me tomorrow I would probably not go, I'd meet with them and have a dialogue on a separate occasion, or go to the showing only, or the burial only, something like that.


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## THE W (Sep 21, 2013)

Show up late...give your condolences...leave.


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## Edward (Sep 21, 2013)

GloriousBoaz said:


> and most people would say that occasion/situation is completely inappropriate



And they would be right. 



GloriousBoaz said:


> but its never inappropriate to tell the truth



There is such a thing as common decency in a civilized society.


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## Edward (Sep 21, 2013)

To the original post:

There have been several threads here on this subject - I'll link to one:

http://www.puritanboard.com/f117/wise-attend-pagan-worship-service-69964/index2.html

There are a number of good reasons that a reformed person should avoid participating in mass, or at least some portions thereof (sacrament, prayers to Mary, etc.). If you do go, you need to think things out before hand, rather than try to make decisions on the spur of the moment. When it comes time for communion, are you going to wait at the end of the pew for others to exit, then slip across so you can regain your seat? (I've even done that at a PCUSA church), or are you going to go up, and cross your arms in the approved signal to the priest that you aren't taking the element (you'll get a blessing - do you want that?). Are you going to kneel, or sit quietly in the pew at the various times for doing so?


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## GloriousBoaz (Sep 21, 2013)

Edward is right you can not in anyway partake in any of the elements of the mass and you must also be careful to not give the impression that you condone or approve of the mass by your interaction at the service, or your just being there, I agree with Edward to really think it out, but also get on your knees and pray it out.


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## Free Christian (Sep 22, 2013)

When I did once go to one we sat and stayed seated even when others stood when the priest said to. When they knelt down, we stayed seated. Some looked at us a bit odd at times, for not doing anything, but we did nothing. No way on this earth even with a gun to my head would I participate in anything they do. No, I seriously would not. My wife is X catholic and all they do repulses her. She often tries to tell her family members the way of truth. If I was asked to attend one tomorrow I would go only to the burial and not the church. But as I believe no man is an island and I like to hear what others think, I have been wrong on things in my past and as "no-one is perfect", which I think was written expressly for me at times, I ask things like this.
And as always I fully appreciate anyone answering.


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## GloriousBoaz (Sep 22, 2013)

Brett it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and a heart listening to the Lord. Glad to confirm what the Spirit is speaking to you by His work in me as well.


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## Andres (Sep 22, 2013)

My staunchly RC grandmother died in June. I did consider skipping the funeral/mass but ultimately I decided that would be disrespectful to my family. We attended and did similarly to what others have said - we sat there quietly and did not participate at all. My RC family members didn't question my actions because they know I am Protestant, so things went pretty smoothly in the end. I would say it depends on how close you are to the family. I would probably encourage attending the funeral if it's a close family member or friend. However, I wouldn't go to a RC funeral/mass if not someone very close.


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## Berean (Sep 22, 2013)

I agree with Andrew. Attend (but don't participate) only if it's a close family member. Otherwise you could simply pay your respects at the mortuary or show up for the burial. This problem is ongoing with me as I was raised in the RCC and most of my relatives are still RC. If you do go to the mass, mark appropriate passages and verses in your Bible with Post-it page-markers or tabs beforehand. Then take your Bible with you to read during the ceremony and ritual. Ignore their standing, kneeling, and breathing down your neck.


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## ZackF (Sep 25, 2013)

It was in the best interest of the thread for me to give it a few days before I posted here. Four years ago the best man in my wedding and one of the groomsmen were and still are RCs. I've know one for twenty-five years and the other for over thirty. I hope the opportunity to attend their funeral doesn't come to pass as I wish them a longer life than myself. I would gladly donate a kidney or give my life in a fight to save theirs. At my wedding dinner I toasted their friendship and thanked them for being the people that would visit me in jail should the time come. The idea that I wouldn't go to their funeral never crossed my mind. As I have thought about the subject over the past few day the more I realize that for more than sentimental reasons I would be compelled to go and eulagize them if asked. Of course, I wouldn't go to recieve "the eucharist" nor "genuflect" and certainly not to rebuke the priest and cause a scene. These men have been a source of God's provision in my life. I will even be so bold as to say the same about many RC priest friends. Though I've lost touch with most of them I still consider them friends. The darkness of their religion compels my prayers and compassion. There but for the grace of God go I. At the end of the day(and my life) I certainly would want them to attend my funeral where I am certain the Gospel will be preached.


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## Free Christian (Sep 26, 2013)

Thank you Zack. I greatly appreciate hearing what others have to say. In the past I often would think to myself, this or that and no other way, but later realised that there was another way to a certain thing that I did not see or realise. 
There is a lot of wisdom in much of what people have shared here and for that I am grateful. 
Many thanks Zack.


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## Free Christian (Sep 26, 2013)

Post went up twice. Oops.


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## Romans922 (Sep 26, 2013)

But He said to him, "Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God."


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## ZackF (Sep 26, 2013)

Romans922 said:


> But He said to him, "Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God."



That's the second time that verse has been quoted. Would you also interpret it to mean that an unbelieving spouse should not be buried by the surviving believing spouse?


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## earl40 (Sep 26, 2013)

KS_Presby said:


> Romans922 said:
> 
> 
> > But He said to him, "Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God."
> ...



Only if Jesus was next to you in person telling you such. I think this example would fall under a narrative portion of scripture and making it didactic.


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## Romans922 (Sep 26, 2013)

KS_Presby said:


> Romans922 said:
> 
> 
> > But He said to him, "Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God."
> ...



That's not what is being asked in the OP. Attending a RC mass...pagan false worship...no I would say one should follow Jesus and let the dead bury thier own.


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## Frosty (Sep 26, 2013)

My grandmother died in 2010. I went to the service, but did not really participate with the exception of listening with intent when my cousin, the priest, shared words about her life.

I also made sure beforehand to warn my Protestant family members (who may not have been aware) that the Mass is an idolatrous abomination and must be passed over.


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## Romans922 (Sep 26, 2013)

I might say that what I said is in the context of my family and grandparents being Roman Catholics. I will not attend their funerals. I will atend their burials and be there for my families.


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## earl40 (Sep 27, 2013)

Romans922 said:


> I might say that what I said is in the context of my family and grandparents being Roman Catholics. I will not attend their funerals. I will atend their burials and be there for my families.



I hear you. Of course you realize there is the possibility your grandparents may have had faith, as my RC parents did, when they passed on. Of course ultimatly I do know for sure. Knowing how long I attended mass as a Christian I rather judge on the side of charity and I wished to pay respect to what The Lord provided me (Godly RC parents) who should have come out of that "church".


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## Romans922 (Sep 27, 2013)

My grandparents or parent's faith or non faith is not the issue. If they have faith, praise the Lord, but that is no reason to sit in on and participate in false pagan worship in which they will be eulogized.


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## earl40 (Sep 27, 2013)

Romans922 said:


> My grandparents or parent's faith or non faith is not the issue. If they have faith, praise the Lord, but that is no reason to sit in on and participate in false pagan worship in which they will be eulogized.



It has everything to do with the context of what Jesus said. He is God and knew who was dead, and we don't. I was only pointing out the words used that Jesus said should not be used as justification of not attending a RC funeral.


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## Romans922 (Sep 27, 2013)

Jesus was talking about burying for one. A funeral (see OP) is not burial. A funeral is not required in Scripture nor attending one of a believer.

In the case of what Jesus was speaking it was not a question of a believer's or unbeliever's burial. It was a question of following Jesus. Attending a pagan false worship is not following Jesus, it is disobedience.


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## Free Christian (Sep 27, 2013)

It can be a sticky issue this one. My wife's father is RC but his love for the Lord is undeniable, or at least seems to be. Once when I had an issue/argument with his son where we were not speaking to each other he came to me and told me how I was the oldest of the two and wisest and should do as Jesus said and forgive. That ultimately we should love one another as Jesus showed us how. There I was a Protestant being rightfully corrected and given a Christian lesson by my RC father-inlaw. You reckon that didn't make me sit back and think! I have no doubt that in the German war machine under Hitler there would have been found good men, but even though, given that fact, that will never ever change the fact that it was pure evil, as is the RC church. Its sad to think that amongst it there are good people. Their fate, those like my wife's father, at the end, often make me wonder!


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## nick (Sep 27, 2013)

I attended when my father-in-law died last year. His death was very unexpected (hadn't been a patient in the hospital since he was 10), so the whole thing was a bit of a blur for me. Could really care less at that moment whether some random family member thinks I'm a RC. I was much more concerned about what was happening with him at that moment, and all the things I should have said.

That being said, I would seek counsel from your elders.


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