# Abandonment and Willful Desertion



## N. Eshelman (Oct 28, 2011)

We often talk about abandonment (confessional language: wilful desertion) as a reason for biblical divorce. Here's what the WCF says: 

"Although the corruption of man be such as is apt to study arguments unduly to put asunder those whom God hath joined together in marriage; yet nothing but adultery, or such *wilful desertion* as can no way be remedied by the Church or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage; wherein, a public and orderly course of proceeding is to be observed; and the persons concerned in it not left to their own wills and discretion, in their own case." 

What does this look like? Can you give me some case studies, quotes, or helps to see what the divines are saying practically? 

It would be much appreciated.


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## TimV (Oct 28, 2011)

Having gone through it, and naturally having to have studied it and gotten lots of advice, I will point out one facet (there are many!), and that is abandonment is just a subset of adultery, i.e. sexual immorality. One partner refuses to consider his/her body the property of the other partner. So, it may look like the guy who took off to another town and has no contact with his wife, and it may take the form of a wife who says "no" for years to get the guy to leave out of frustration, and it may take the form of anything in between.

In cases of violence it can take the form of a guy thrown in jail for 30 years for murder. In any event, one nice thing about Reformed court systems is that even in smallish denominations there are usually thousands of people, and therefore a huge support and informational network.

The wills and discretion clause is also important. In one case it's the wife being emotional and saying "I don't love him anymore (whatever love means) and in the other "she's not satisfying me anymore" on the part of the husband and everything in between including meddlesome in laws etc...

In the last case especially a huge weight of responsibility lies on the shoulders of the Session, so a pastor should always surround himself with lots of good, solid counsel from older, mature people.


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## N. Eshelman (Oct 28, 2011)

TimV said:


> In the last case especially a huge weight of responsibility lies on the shoulders of the Session, so a pastor should always surround himself with lots of good, solid counsel from older, mature people.



Got that right, mister! Thanks for the word.


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## TimV (Oct 28, 2011)

You're a good man, Nathan.


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