# You Lost Me



## fredtgreco (Apr 14, 2012)

I'm thinking of getting this book for Kindle. If you have read it, I'd appreciate your assessment.

You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church...and Rethinking Faith by David Kinnaman

Amazon.com: You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church...and Rethinking Faith (9780801013140): David Kinnaman: Books


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## Rufus (Apr 14, 2012)

I haven't read it, but I would really argue the primary reason that young people are leaving the church is because they are not Christians. There moral, they have a "god", but they've never heard the gospel preached. Plus, if you have no pleasure in Christ, no desire for Him, your apathetic to Him, and you see the great temptations of the world before you, generally speaking you'd take the world.


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## Mindaboo (Apr 14, 2012)

Fred, I haven't heard of that title before. It sounds interesting. I read "Already Gone" by Ken Ham. (I think that was who wrote it) I found it an interesting read. I didn't agree with a lot of his points, but he did make some very good points as well. One of the big points made in "Already Gone" was that we present the Bible as a book of stories rather than the Truth. The other thing he spoke a lot about was the fact that we are trying to hard to make everything fun for them: Bible studies, youth group, Sunday school, VBS, etc. That's not reality. I think it is a trap that some churches get too caught up in. Youth groups become fun and games without any real study or equipping our young adults for the realities they face. Of course all of that should start at home, but the church should support us in teaching real doctrine rather than fluff. I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on the book if you get it and read it. I wonder if he'll have the same arguements. 

Sean, I don't know that I completely agree with your statement. There are hills and valleys in every believer's life, and some pull away for a time. I've known people who wandered off for a while when they left for college. I've also met grown adults who have left church for a time. The difference is that the Lord is faithful and draws His own back to Him. I am not saying they are right in doing so, but I do believe sometimes hurt feelings, questioning your faith and unrepentant sin might pull a believer a way for a time. The difference would be whether they come back or not. The Lord does not let go of His people. A faithful church should pursue anyone, young or old, that pulls away and leaves. 
I wouldn't go as far as saying that they are unbelievers.


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## fredtgreco (Apr 14, 2012)

Good thoughts, Mindy.

I think this is an issue we need to think about as the Church (initial cap intended), because too often we vacillate between the two extremes of pandering to youth culture, and simply ignoring our young people because "they should be satisfied with whatever we do."

The Church needs to be constantly going after people - both those outside and those inside. We live in a culture in which it is far too easy to get lost in the cracks, especially in times of spiritual struggle. I think I will buy the book and then later write a review.


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## Covenant Joel (Apr 14, 2012)

fredtgreco said:


> Good thoughts, Mindy.
> 
> I think this is an issue we need to think about as the Church (initial cap intended), because too often we vacillate between the two extremes of pandering to youth culture, and simply ignoring our young people because "they should be satisfied with whatever we do."
> 
> The Church needs to be constantly going after people - both those outside and those inside. We live in a culture in which it is far too easy to get lost in the cracks, especially in times of spiritual struggle. I think I will buy the book and then later write a review.



Please do post the review...would love to read it, but with all my other reading and preparing for ordination exams, I don't have time for reading the book itself right now.


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## Jack K (Apr 14, 2012)

fredtgreco said:


> I think I will buy the book and then later write a review.



I too would welcome that review, though I probably need to read the book even if it turns out not to be very good. It's liable to be an important enough part of the discussion of the issue that it's on my list of books I have to get around to. And I'm guessing it will have some worthwhile things to say.


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## jwithnell (Apr 14, 2012)

Seems like I've seen this reviewed/excerpted somewhere recently -- does it deal with the entertaining "youth groups" that don't push young folks into greater maturity and responsibility? Christian fellowship as entertainment?


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## Jack K (Apr 14, 2012)

jwithnell said:


> Seems like I've seen this reviewed/excerpted somewhere recently -- does it deal with the entertaining "youth groups" that don't push young folks into greater maturity and responsibility? Christian fellowship as entertainment?



In the past, Kinnaman has generally called for churches to involve young people in ministries that are meaningful to them and to repent of "un-Christian" attitudes (judgmentalism, arrogance) that turn off today's young adults. I haven't seen anything from him that comes down particularly hard on the entertainment aspect of many youth groups, though I suspect he'd agree that programs for youth in the church ought to be meaty—so long as they aren't knee-jerk conservative in a way that makes kids feel the church is unkind.

Kinnaman's information gathering (done by Barna) is top-notch and deserves our attention. But he isn't particularly theological. He's a marketing guy. His solutions mostly involve reacting to what young people are telling him.


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## JohnGill (Apr 14, 2012)

Found a review online here: Book Review You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church And Rethinking Faith | Servants of Grace which points out the ecumenical nature of the book and another here: Book Review: You Lost Me by David Kinnaman | Blogging Theologically | Jesus, Books, Culture, & Theology which seems to go into greater detail.

From the second review:



> _Overprotective_—they see the church “as a creativity killer where risk taking and being involved in culture are anathema” (p. 92).
> _Shallow_—having been fed a steady diet of “easy platitudes, proof texting and formulaic slogans,” they don’t see how their faith connects to every facet of life and how their passions, gifts and abilities can be used for God’s glory.
> _Antiscience_—they see faith and science are incompatible, even finding that “science appears to welcome questions and skepticism, while matters of faith seem impenetrable” (p. 93).
> _Repressive_—”Religious rules—particularly sexual mores—feel stifling to the individualist mindset of young adults,” Kinnaman writes. “Consequently they perceive the church as repressive.”
> ...



1, 3-5 of these seem to show youth prefer sin over Christ, while 2 and 6 seem to show a lack of Biblical doctrine in the churches they attend. Point 2 seems to be the linchpin. Point 3 shows the reason to remove all children of Christians from public schools. From reading the book, Fred if you had a Nook I could Lend it to you, it seems to show how the pre-tribulation view of the world has brought about the drop out rate.

I think the sampling numbers are way too small. Apparently for all 6 it was only 1,296. Though it may offer some good points, without a greater sampling it's assessments can't be definitive. But I think overall point 2 would still be the linchpin regardless of sampling data. Also I think these percentages would differ in Reformed churches versus Pre-trib churches, versus liberal churches, etc. Were they actually attending a church or just a place called church? The methodology for gathering the stats becomes questionable because of this.


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## rbcbob (Apr 14, 2012)

Fred you might also want to consider SOUL SEARCHING by Christian Smith. It was based on several years of research of teens and twenty-somethings. He coined the now widely used phrase "Moral Therapeutic Deism".


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## Scottish Lass (Apr 14, 2012)

Chris, I have a nook. If no one else would like to borrow it, and your offer still stands, I'd like to read it.


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## Jack K (Apr 15, 2012)

rbcbob said:


> Fred you might also want to consider SOUL SEARCHING by Christian Smith. It was based on several years of research of teens and twenty-somethings. He coined the now widely used phrase "Moral Therapeutic Deism".



Yes. A must-read on this topic even though the suggested solutions, again, aren't really Bible-based.


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