# importance of fathers



## Scott (Aug 21, 2006)

In reading Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys, I remember him mentioning that there is a strong association between the absence of a boy's father when growing up and homosexuality and other behaviors. From a new article on the Jonbenet Ramsey matter, this caught my attention. Is about the man, John Mark Karr, accused of molesting Jonbenet and then murdering her.



> Karr appears to have been shadowed by gender issues since his early years, according to excerpts of e-mails published in the Rocky Mountain News that Karr wrote to University of Colorado journalism professor Michael Tracey.
> 
> *Karr said his father was a "strong influence but rarely around," *and responded to Tracey's question about whether his "fascination with little girls "” which clearly has a strong erotic component "” is a way of going back."


The article notes that Karr was in Thailand for an operation to become a woman.

It is extremely sad. Another reminder that fathers need to be heavily involved in the lives of their kids. 

[Edited on 8-21-2006 by Scott]


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## ReformedWretch (Aug 21, 2006)

With girls absent fathers can lead to promiscuity and or bad and troubled relationships with the opposite sex. That's why what I do in working with teen girls is so important to me. While I can't and won't save them all from a life of despair and bad choices I need to do what I can to help lead them away from such.

While I know we have some wonderful brothers and sisters here that have sadly been through divorce, I have seen first hand how horrible that is on children as well. Even sixteen and seventeen year olds who you might mistakenly believe could "handle" it. Especially when either or both parents enter a new relationship and have other children. I deal with kids in that situation every day and have for the past 14 years. It´s TOUGH!


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## BobVigneault (Aug 21, 2006)

I read all of Dobson's books and did every thing I could to be a consistent and strong influence in my daughter's lives while they were growing up. My oldest had marginal brain damage brought on by severe allergies and my youngest went bi-polar at 15. We watched helplessly as our sweet and loving daughter transfomed into a selfish, rebellious enemy.

I agree whole heartedly that fathers must be a strong and consistent influence in there children's lives. This is because we are commanded to be so by scripture. Be very careful about looking at results and making assumptions about the journey it took to get there. We, as fathers, must be FAITHFUL to the word and not be tempted to compromise if the results begin to go awry. This is my commitment as we work to raise a second wave of children.

Be careful about judging a couple's parenting skills by the behavior of their grown children.

Happily, a few weeks ago my youngest showed up at our door in tears and confessed her sorrow for the trouble she caused us - she said we never deserved the grief she brought upon us. I feared I wouldn't live to see the day she would apologize. We held each and sobbed 7 years worth of tears. Praise God for his mercy.

[Edited on 8-21-2006 by BobVigneault]


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## ReformedWretch (Aug 21, 2006)

You make a very good point Bob, but I speak of those with NO fatherly influence at all, or one so poor you can sit back and just wait on the trouble. Sadly there are many wonderful fathers who still have rebellious children for some reason. If I could figure that out I would be a zillionaire!


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