# Proverbs on Conflict - and when not to hold the tongue?



## Pergamum (Jun 29, 2009)

Proverbs on Conflict

10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise. NIV

10:19 Don't talk so much. You keep putting your foot in your mouth. Be sensible and turn off the flow! TLB

12:16 A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult. NIV

12:16 A fool is quick-tempered; a wise man stays cool when insulted. TLB

15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. NIV

15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels. TLB

16:32 Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. NIV

16:32 It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self-control than to control an army. TLB

25:11 A word aptly spoken
is like apples of gold in settings of silver. NIV

25:11 Timely advice is as lovely as gold apples in a silver basket. TLB

25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control. NIV

25:28 A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls. TLB

29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger,
but a wise man keeps himself under control. NIV

29:11 A rebel shouts in anger; a wise man holds his temper in and cools it. TLB





The Proverbs almost wholly deal with conflict by saying, "Keep calm,and hold your tongue" it seems.

When should we not hold our tongues and when should be be angry? When is it a sin to stay quiet?


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## KMK (Jun 29, 2009)

Pro 27:5 Open rebuke is better than secret love.


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## Ruby (Jun 29, 2009)

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend....." Proverbs 27:6


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## Pergamum (Jun 29, 2009)

Great! Thanks.... it is easy to get off balance and only look at one side of an issue.


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## lynnie (Jun 29, 2009)

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4 

I have spoken up in some situations where children were involved and got both vitriol or the freezing cold shoulder in return. (I suspected both would happen but hoped for repentance.).

I really think where kids are being hurt you need to speak up and speak up again, unless it would make life worse for the kids ( you don't want to make them a worse target for anger). But even there, calling DHS might be right sometimes. Or telling people you WILL call their pastor. 

Obviously this implies some prior level of more than very casual relationship.

I don't think you should remain silent when kids are being hurt.


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## Scott1 (Jun 29, 2009)

Speaking the truth in love is not easy to do. 

It's only of those things that takes courage, and humility. There is an element of bearing false witness (ninth commandment) in not speaking the truth into situations. The ninth commandment is quite broad in its application and includes things like speaking the truth "unseasonably" as well as failing to speak when truth requires it to be spoken.

If I were to err on one side, I would have the courage to speak and do the right, asking God to remove pride from me and the hearers- and trust Him to let the chips fall where they may.

Don't assume that God intends someone else to do this when he has given you access. God appoints the circumstances, and ordains both the ends and the means.


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## KMK (Jun 29, 2009)

Lev 19:17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.

It is hateful to your brother to withhold rebuke.


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