# Wildest/Worst thing ever seen in worship???



## SteelYankee (Jun 15, 2004)

In the &quot;Walk out of sermon&quot; thread, someone metioned this as good thread to follow. So tell us, what's something wild/bad/disorderly/heretical/aberrant you've witnessed in worship that you'll never forget? The deacon in the rubber wetsuit strikes me as a good example of bad thinking! 

[Edited on 6/15/2004 by SteelYankee]


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## A_Wild_Boar (Jun 15, 2004)

One time I had to sit next to some extremely beautiful woman. She was NOT dressed for a church service. I dont want to explain but I had a hard time staying focussed.

Another time I had to sit next to a guy who pretended to be riding a motorcycle. He would make revving up sounds with his hands holding onto imaginary handlebars. He would lean back like he was peeling out, the lurch forward when he hit the &quot;brakes&quot;.

Ok those were not the pastor but I will never foret them.

As far as the pastor goes, I guess it had to be the third time he used his lame joke about Dagon falling down. &quot;Daggon it&quot; After a few years you would figure his material would have gotten better. 

This was a Calvary Chapel in Ft. Lauderdale.


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## sastark (Jun 15, 2004)

[quote:31ac5e52ea][i:31ac5e52ea]Originally posted by A_Wild_Boar[/i:31ac5e52ea]

Another time I had to sit next to a guy who pretended to be riding a motorcycle. He would make revving up sounds with his hands holding onto imaginary handlebars. He would lean back like he was peeling out, the lurch forward when he hit the &quot;brakes&quot;.

[/quote:31ac5e52ea]

You've got to stop attending those chapel services at the asylum!


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## a (Jun 15, 2004)

while i grew up going to a SBC church, i went to school at a private christian school... it was hosted at an Assembly of God church, though they said the teaching of the school would be nondenominational... uhm yeah, anyway - that's another story... the school is now closed and out of business - thanks be to God.


one night, for a reason i can't remember, i entered their sactuary after their night worship service... most of the people were leaving, some of the people were hanging around talking... as i walked toward the front of the sanctuary, i noticed two women laying on the ground...

they were laying flat on their backs, with their legs halfway under a bench - they couldn't have fallen there, they must have slid under the benches...

anyway, they were both looking straight up into the sky laughing as if they had gone cookoo for co-co puffs... they were just laying there laughing... laughing... laughing...


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## ReformedWretch (Jun 15, 2004)

My parents left their LIFE TIME church when the pastor began cursing from the pulpit!


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## Ianterrell (Jun 15, 2004)

I've seen people arbitrarily get up and run around the church. I've done some pretty kooky things as a Pentecostal my self.


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## Ex-Baptist (Jun 15, 2004)

How 'bout Santa Claus participating in the service during Christmas.

Cole


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## a (Jun 15, 2004)

[quote:b44e7a4a84][i:b44e7a4a84]Originally posted by joshua[/i:b44e7a4a84]
Interpretive Dancer flaying arms and raising legs in the sanctuary on Lord's Day morning. [/quote:b44e7a4a84]

oh, you're just being traditional and legalistic! hehehe


 &lt;-- interpretive dancing banana


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## daveb (Jun 15, 2004)

I guess the weirdest thing I've seen is when I was visiting my sisters church and a bunch of people went up to the front of the church, got 'slain in the spirit', then fell down. They then started laughing and rolling on the floor. After this had started people in the audience began to speak in 'tongues' and they were making hand gestures, blowing kisses while looking up in the air, etc. It seemed to me like everyone in the church had lost their minds.


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## blhowes (Jun 15, 2004)

In college, I went to an old-fashioned outdoor tent revival. The &quot;preacher&quot; screamed a bunch of disjointed phrases into the microphone and tried to get his people fired up. &quot;Can somebody give me an AMEN!!&quot; When I had heard enough, I noticed another group about 100 feet away, so curiosity got the better of me so I went over to check it out. There were a bunch of people huddled around a lady who was on the ground jerking back and forth seemingly out of control (I thought she was having a seizure or something.) Apparently she had been slain in the spirit and those around her were helping her have an even better experience by getting her all pumped up more and more. I asked one of the guys nearby what she was doing, and he said, &quot;Oh, she's just praising the Lord!&quot;. I calmly said, &quot;Oh, that's what she's doing. Thank-you sir&quot;, and walked away amazed.

What really bummed me out was that the tent revival was right near a busy intersection, and lots of people stopped to watch. I was embarrassed that so many people had to see that display of &quot;Christianity&quot;.


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## a (Jun 15, 2004)

i saw a lady on the TBN channel tell the tv-audience that if they sent in their &quot;pledge of faith&quot; then she would send them a prayer cloth...

the prayer cloth looked like it was a 4-6 inch square cut from a terry cloth... there was a huge uncut role of the fabric on the stage, and she started rolling around in the cloth, wrapping it around her... 

absolutely disgusting...


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## turmeric (Jun 15, 2004)

The Foursquare church where they decided since it was Yom Kippur they would confess their sins to each other and forgive each other. My brother &amp; I exited quickly and quietly!


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## jfschultz (Jun 15, 2004)

A &quot;sermon&quot; based on the book [i:c2cacd23a9]One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest[/i:c2cacd23a9].


And then a number of people I talked to later said how great it was. (This was while the church was without their senior pastor who had gone to be the senior pastor at Riverside in New York.)


[Edited on 6-16-2004 by jfschultz]


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## panicbird (Jun 15, 2004)

My wife and I visited a church in Bellingham, WA. The pastor was away and the youth minister was preaching. His text was from 1 Peter (I think...it could have been 2 Peter). After he read it, he said something to the effect of &quot;Now, it may seem like I am departing from my text here...&quot; He then proceeded to completely leave the text behind. His main points were from Aristotle's [i:6dafab5f86]Poetics[/i:6dafab5f86]. My wife and I both shut our Bibles, as it was obvious they would not be needed.
Needless to say, we did not return.

Lon


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## A_Wild_Boar (Jun 16, 2004)

[quote:59b1d1f250][i:59b1d1f250]Originally posted by sastark[/i:59b1d1f250]

You've got to stop attending those chapel services at the asylum!

 [/quote:59b1d1f250]

Its the only place where I can attend service in my pajamas though. 

[Edited on 6-16-2004 by A_Wild_Boar]


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## Learner (Jun 16, 2004)

Roger said:&quot;It's the only place where you can attend service in my pajamas though.&quot;

Why would Seth want to attend a service in YOUR pajamas?


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## Ianterrell (Jun 16, 2004)

One time a &quot;prophet&quot; came to a church I was attending and among claiming to have prophesied 9-11 told everyone to come up who wanted to have their eyes healed from poor eye-sight. Of course half those in attendance went up and none of them walked away with their eyes 'healed'.

He also began to &quot;feel&quot; the music that the band was playing to add to the hysteria and instructed everyone in the church to follow his lead in a &quot;war-march&quot; against the Devil.


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## a (Jun 16, 2004)

[quote:59c82c6012][i:59c82c6012]Originally posted by Ianterrell[/i:59c82c6012]
He also began to &quot;feel&quot; the music that the band was playing to add to the hysteria and instructed everyone in the church to follow his lead in a &quot;war-march&quot; against the Devil. [/quote:59c82c6012]


HAHAHA... War march!!!!




We took our youth to hear an ex-Crip gangster preach at a youth outreach thing (hosted at a charismaniac church)... he told the teenagers that he got shot and died... he said he saw hell, but it was too scary to talk about... HAHAHA

he said &quot;i would tell you about it, but it would scare you too much!&quot;


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## Scot (Jun 16, 2004)

A few years ago the OPC that I'm attending was looking for a church building. The Assemblies of God church was selling their old building and putting up a new one. While we were there looking at the building, we noticed a big barrel of corn up front by the pulpit. The AOG pastor told us that it was left over from a previous service. I can't remember how he was originally going to use it. I think he said it had something to do with harvest. 

Anyway, everyone was supposed to go up front and get a handful of this corn. The pastor said that during the service, after everyone had gotten their corn, God instructed him to have the congregation start throwing it. He said it was one of the best services that they ever had. He was very pleased as he recalled some of the elderly members whipping corn at each another. uzzled:


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## a (Jun 16, 2004)

[quote:42976d2714][i:42976d2714]Originally posted by Scot[/i:42976d2714]
A few years ago the OPC that I'm attending was looking for a church building. The Assemblies of God church was selling their old building and putting up a new one. While we were there looking at the building, we noticed a big barrel of corn up front by the pulpit. The AOG pastor told us that it was left over from a previous service. I can't remember how he was originally going to use it. I think he said it had something to do with harvest. 

Anyway, everyone was supposed to go up front and get a handful of this corn. The pastor said that during the service, after everyone had gotten their corn, God instructed him to have the congregation start throwing it. He said it was one of the best services that they ever had. He was very pleased as he recalled some of the elderly members whipping corn at each another. uzzled: [/quote:42976d2714]


LOL!!!!


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## king of fools (Jun 16, 2004)

I heard a pastor in a sermon compare the salvation that comes from Jesus to the strength Rocky got from his manager in the Rocky movies.

He went on and found some similar metaphor for all 5 of the Rocky movies.


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## MICWARFIELD (Jun 17, 2004)

I've seen many crazy things, having grown up pentecostal. One Sunday when I was a kid, a supposed Prophet came through town and the whole church was very excited to hear him speak. He had everyone going until he looked over at our church organist (an extremely obese woman) and said &quot; The Lord is telling me that he has a man just for you. You've been so lonely all these years and the Lord has finally answered your prayers. He has personaly selected a Husband for you whom you have not yet met.&quot; There was only one problem. She was already happily married and her husband was sitting right there in the front row. You should have seen the looks on everyones faces.

Mike


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## Puritan Sailor (Jun 17, 2004)

[quote:4234685dde][i:4234685dde]Originally posted by king of fools[/i:4234685dde]
I heard a pastor in a sermon compare the salvation that comes from Jesus to the strength Rocky got from his manager in the Rocky movies.

He went on and found some similar metaphor for all 5 of the Rocky movies. [/quote:4234685dde]
I'm thinking of a pastor in the hills. Is this the right one?


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## Puritan Sailor (Jun 17, 2004)

[quote:6dc37cca3d][i:6dc37cca3d]Originally posted by Ianterrell[/i:6dc37cca3d]
I've seen people arbitrarily get up and run around the church. I've done some pretty kooky things as a Pentecostal my self. [/quote:6dc37cca3d]

:no:


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## blhowes (Jun 17, 2004)

[b:14a8fcb23b]MICWARFIELD wrote:[/b:14a8fcb23b]
There was only one problem. She was already happily married and her husband was sitting right there in the front row. You should have seen the looks on everyones faces. 


Mike, that's hilarious. I'll bet his little &quot;word of knowledge&quot; did wonders for his credibility in the eyes of the congregation.


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## Contra_Mundum (Jun 17, 2004)

I had just totalled my car. It was Sunday before Christmas and I was in a small town where I lived, 75 miles away from the OPC where I attended. So, I walked into the center of town, to a PCUSA church. &quot;I've got [/i]some[/i] chance of getting a good service here, right?&quot; Well, the service began and we sang a couple Christmas carols. Then came time for the message. The pastor came around the lectern to the edge of the podium, where he had set up a rocking chair. He proceeded to sit down, cover his legs with an afghan, and say, &quot;I want you to pretend I'm your grandpa, and I'm going to read you this heartwarming story I read in this magazine this week.&quot; And I kid you not, he sat there and read a whole article out of some periodical, like Atlantic Monthly or some such. 

If there was even a Scripture reading in the whole service, I don't remember it. 

I left the building, and my first conscious thought was, &quot;Boy, I wish I'd started off for church earlier this morning! Where am I going to go?&quot; I looked at my watch. It was mid-morning. I thought &quot;Hey, there's an Anglican church up the road! They will have Scripture reading there, their forms of prayer are biblical (probably), may even have a Christmas homily or something. Even if they include some unacceptable form of communion, I can sit in the back and skip it. What time do they have service? Will I make it, walking?&quot; 

Not only did I make the service, it was spiritually nourishing. I even felt OK about communion as I recall. I met a couple who befriended me and included me in a bit of their Christmas that year (very welcome, as I was quite alone and now without transportation). It was almost enough to erase the horror of the memory of the presbyterian puke-fest. But not quite.


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## staythecourse (Jun 17, 2004)

*Jesus' triumphant entry*

I don't remember the circumstances but it was an Easter Sunday and I wasn't at my church home.

I went to a Methodist church and part f the sermon was on Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey even a colt (if I remember the wording of Scripture)

The pastor painted a picture of Jesus riding on two donkey's simultaneously as he came into town while the people laid down the palm fronds. I wonder if I'll ever get that stupid image out of my mind....


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## Mary (Jun 17, 2004)

One year at Midnight Mass, the Monsignor's homily was on &quot;Beauty and the Beast&quot;...

I thought he was going for the part where Belle offers to be the Beast's prisoner if he would free her father (which could kind of, sort of, be made to fit)...but it wasn't. I can't remember what the point was.

I just remember him droning on and on...&quot;And then there was a teapot, and her name was Mrs. Potts. And she had a teacup son, named chip. And there was a candleabra, named Lumiere...&quot;

And yet I went back for more!

 Mary


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## a (Jun 17, 2004)

*An Error in the Bible*

a youth pastor had this message that he would preach to the teenagers. It was titled something like &quot;An Error in the Bible&quot;

He told the students how he was going to prove to them that there was an error in the Bible. He had them open their Bibles to John 19:16-17, and he would read:

&quot;16 So he delivered him over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus, 17 and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called the place of a skull, which in Aramaic is called Golgotha.&quot;


He would then turn to the youth in the audience and ask if anyone could see the error... he would wait, but there was no response...

Finally, he would share that the error was where it says &quot;...he went out, bearing his own cross...&quot;

and then he would correct the bible saying that Jesus was &quot;bearing MY cross, and YOUR cross&quot;...


hehehe... how dramatic!


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## Me Died Blue (Jun 17, 2004)

Once at a mini-youth-convention type of event my youth group attended, during the &quot;altar time&quot; of the worship segment, many people were down at the altar speaking in tongues and the like. (As if that's not enough,) one girl from my youth group was down at the altar, attempting to cuss Satan out! She was never corrected, and it was accepted as &quot;Well, we don't know or always understand all the ways the Spirit speaks to people.&quot; :flaming:


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## Joseph Ringling (Jun 17, 2004)

I seen a Pastor answer the phone in the middle of his sermon and I also seen this same man discipline his Grandson in the middle of a sermon.


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## Puritan Sailor (Jun 17, 2004)

You know..... 
I wonder if the Reformers ever sat down and chatted like this about their past experiences with Rome. It would have been fun to listen. I think we would have alot in common.


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## king of fools (Jun 17, 2004)

I remember a message when I was still in the church of Rome. The priest answered a ringing phone hidden in the alter. It was a phone call from God giving him instruction on what to do.

I thought it was funny at the time.


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## Scot (Jun 18, 2004)

My grandmother has told me the story of when her and my grandfather went to my great-grandparents church. My great-grandparents belonged to an AOG. My great-grandparents asked my grandparents to a service so they went. My grandmother said that the pastor was telling the story of Naaman washing in the Jordan. To illustrate, the pastor turned and jumped into the baptistry fully clothed.


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