# 24 - Why I Love (and sometimes Hate) It



## Semper Fidelis (Apr 19, 2006)

****NOTE***** I am stationed overseas and the Show _24_ is a few months behind the States. Do not spoil future episodes for me by revealing anything that is happening in this season's plot. Failure to do so may result in me sending some junior Marines in your area to demonstrate their martial arts skills for you!!! ****END NOTE****

That's done. Man I love that show _24_. What great drama! What great cliffhangers! Man, does torture ever work at getting information out of bad guys (just kidding).

Just one problem...

When did everybody in government become experts at using computer systems?!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!

Ever notice how obnoxious it is to be around somebody who knows "what it's really like" and they're always complaining "...that's not what it's really like...."?

Well I'm that man when it comes to the military. Marines with long hair in shows or movies really make me mad. I also know a bit about Government civilians.

Anyway, suspension of disbelief is just pressed to the breaking point for me because every man or woman that works at the CTU (or even that DOD liaison lady that is in love with Jack Bauer) knows how to do really complex computer hacking stuff.

Ridiculous.

Anybody that knows anything about government employees knows this:
1. Most of the old ones are lucky if they've figured out how to cut and paste.
2. They're just like other people - most are clueless about how e-mail gets from point A to point B.
3. Government employees are rarely the networking experts - that's what they hire contractors for (in fact, contractors do a lot of the real work).

So next time you watch _24_ remember that when you see some dude hacking away at a computer yell out: "That's not real!!!"

Thanks for your time.

Rich

p.s. The fact that trained military units and SWAT teams regularly run into ambushes and are waxed by a few terrorists is also ridiculous but let's stick with one thing at a time here.

[Edited on 4-19-2006 by SemperFideles]


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## Covenant Joel (Apr 19, 2006)

I am also a big fan of the show. You might even say I'm a bit obsessed with it....it is therefore with much regret that I even have to admit that some things definitely aren't the way they are. My brother-in-law is in the Army and he comments from time to time about how ridiculous a few of the things are. Like in Season 3 when the Delta Force unit gets surprised by a few random terrorists and are just totally annihilated in like 4 seconds. Somehow I'm just not seeing truth in that.


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## Semper Fidelis (Apr 19, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Covenant Joel_
> I am also a big fan of the show. You might even say I'm a bit obsessed with it....it is therefore with much regret that I even have to admit that some things definitely aren't the way they are. My brother-in-law is in the Army and he comments from time to time about how ridiculous a few of the things are. Like in Season 3 when the Delta Force unit gets surprised by a few random terrorists and are just totally annihilated in like 4 seconds. Somehow I'm just not seeing truth in that.


Exactly! I had that in mind with respect to the ambush above.


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## Arch2k (Apr 19, 2006)

I am a huge 24 fan. My cell phone has the CTU ringer (I guess you could call me a 24 dork ).

That being said, sometimes 24 can be unrealistic. I agree with you both on what you have said so far.

OTOH, you have to give props that 24 isn't afraid to be realistic in letting people die (o.k., except for the invincible Jack Bauer). Most other shows have 20 people in a shoot-out, and nobody dies!!! That's what irritates me!! 

My fiance loves 24 as well, but she has found one thing on the show that she like to get a good laugh at:

Think of Jack Bauer yelling...he sounds like another famous character...who is it? The famous Cookie Monster.

"GET DOWN!!!!" ..."and give me cookie..."

She also pokes fun at his "man purse" that he carries around everywhere. I try to justify Jack by reassuring her that he carries bombs and ammunition in there, but that only goes so far. 

My hero is being mocked.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Apr 19, 2006)

I have yet to see an episode but my cousin told me this week this show is definitely one I should see. I am a huge Tom Clancy fan and amateur student of counter-terrorism, and I have enjoyed every Kiefer Sutherland movie that I have seen. Ok, I'll give 24 a chance.


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## Cuirassier (Apr 19, 2006)

I'm chuckling because my wife and I watch that show. She thinks it's very entertaining, and it bugs her to no end with my frequent guffaws at what I know to be completely beyond the realm of the credible.

Because of my time as an officer in the Canadian Forces signals branch, and my observations are very similar to Rich's. Some of my "favourite" gaffes:

What the purposely-enlarged terminology like "access control protocols" (I guess "security clearance" just wasn't sexy enough?)

More importantly, how is it that complete strangers off the street can be let in, and be given high security clearance levels in mere seconds? 

Why, in time of crisis, is the US president down in some bunker in LA? Is it because both VC-25s (aka Air Force One presidential 747's) in for scheduled maintenance every time the terrorists strike? I guess the White House is also getting major rennovations too, since he's never there either.... 

The fingerprint/ID scans that are accessing multiple databases - only take 2-3 seconds to respond to queries--and there's always a match!!! (one of my big CSI/L&O beefs)

.... and the list continues .... but I'll be watching it next Monday night ...  

cheers,

dl

[Edited on 4-19-2006 by Cuirassier]


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## wsw201 (Apr 19, 2006)

I can't believe some of these comments  Next thing someone is going to say that there is no X FILES !!!! BLASPHEMY !!!!!


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## Mrs.SolaFide (Apr 19, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Cuirassier_
> 
> 
> Why, in time of crisis, is the US president down in some bunker in LA? Is it because both VC-25s (aka Air Force One presidential 747's) in for scheduled maintenance every time the terrorists strike? I guess the White House is also getting major rennovations too, since he's never there either.... [Edited on 4-19-2006 by Cuirassier]



Ah, yes - Camp Not-David! We were just discussing that on Monday night...and, yes, Jeffrey, I take issue with the Marlboro-induced Cookie Monster bark. It makes me smile...but not as much as the man-purse. I think Jack is the spawn of MacGuyver and Mary Poppins - anything he needs is in that bag - and anything in that bag can shoot bad guys or blow up their warehouses  Never mind the weight of guns and explosives flapping at his knees as he tries his best to run like the wind...


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## Arch2k (Apr 19, 2006)




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## Mrs.SolaFide (Apr 19, 2006)

You look so sad! I love 24, and I love Jack Bauer. I love the voice, and I love the bag. I love the hair & I love the gun. I love it all. 

You can make witty/caustic observations about my Jane Austen library if it would make you feel better


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## Richard King (Apr 19, 2006)

> _Originally posted by SemperFideles_
> 
> 
> Just one problem...
> ...


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## Semper Fidelis (Apr 19, 2006)

Anybody notice that his cell phone works everywhere and the battery never dies?


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## Arch2k (Apr 19, 2006)

*How about some constructive things to say about Jack Bauer???*

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauers calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."

In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that wimp went to the hospital first.

Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and with more deaths.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?

Jack Bauer is the reason Enrique Iglesias no longer has that thing on his face. Jack Bauer hates moles.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. They are all Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer shops at Costco... without membership.

If Jack Bauer shot you while quail hunting, it wouldn't be an accident.

It's not considered nerve gas until it gets on the nerves of Jack Bauer.

In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane ravaged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?

Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."

In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're dead."

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.

My parents told my little brother and I that Jack Bauer was "just a television character". We are now orphans. 

During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Chase Edmunds waited until he was sure Jack Bauer was dead before he dumped Kim.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

One time The Rock raised his eyebrow to Jack Bauer. This is why he is no longer able to wrestle.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Stalin and Hitler so they wouldn't have to bear witness to what he'd do to Nina.

When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.

Jack Bauer shoots first and...well that's it. He shoots first. Jack Bauer doesn't need to ask questions.

Jack Bauer makes onions cry.

Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

G.I. Joe has Jack Bauer action figures.

Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.

If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.

The "Smoothie" was invented when Jack Bauer needed information from a banana.


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## Augusta (Apr 20, 2006)




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## Semper Fidelis (Apr 20, 2006)

That was great Jeff. Where'd you find it?


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## Arch2k (Apr 20, 2006)

> _Originally posted by SemperFideles_
> That was great Jeff. Where'd you find it?



A friend of mine originally lead me to it. I think you can find it all over the internet anymore (just do a google search for "jack bauer superman" and you should find several sites).

Needless to say, I cleaned the list up a bit and edited the cuss words etc. Not all are appropriate for the PB.


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## LadyFlynt (Oct 5, 2006)

Oh my! Our library has season 1 and 3 of The Pretender and I've watched those (they don't have 2 and 4 though...bummer). Well, I returned those and they have 2 seasons of "24" (seasons 3 and 4 I believe)...so I checked out the complete season 3.





I'm hooked.


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## LadyFlynt (Oct 5, 2006)

Okay, I just read this thread...ya'll crack me up!

Especially the McGyver/Mary Poppins and the man purse bit


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