# I'm so irritated with myself



## INsearch (Sep 5, 2009)

Every time I repent...it will last about half a day then I will choose to go against him (ex. "I give up..I don't want to try and follow him anymore"<---that kind of choosing to go against him...not just simply sinning) what is wrong with me? this keeps happening to me...in fact it seems to ALWAYS happen to me.

Edit: to add...this time of "falling away" last for months at a time...so usually...when you see me on here...like 1% of time you guys see me I am being repentant...about 99% I seem to be "fallen away" and just still searching and reading...not knowing what to do with myself.


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## christianyouth (Sep 5, 2009)

My old pastor used to point out that James said Submit yourselves unto God before he said Resist the devil. A lot of times we want to resist the devil but aren't willing to submit ourselves unto God. 

I don't know if that's the case with you, but with me, the times that temptation is the most intense are the times that I've been the laziest. It's amazing how just working hard and staying busy helps in this area.

Fight on, brother.


In Christ,
- Andy


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## INsearch (Sep 5, 2009)

I think thats it. I try to hard too resist temptation mainly on my own...instead I should be going to the scriptures and praying, rather than going "I can ride this out"


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## itsreed (Sep 5, 2009)

Joshua:

Sounds like you're talking about my first 3 years in the faith, and then on regular occassions after. Only in this past decade have I seen a steadiness of faith.

For what it's worth, my advice is study the gospel more, and more, and more, and ...

There is nothing else that will produce a life characterized by growing evangelical obedience. As you do this you will see the Spirit growing both faith and repentance in you, and a bumper crop of His fruit.

Bunyan's _Pilgrim's Progress_ is a good guide (get an edition that has his original text notes, showing where in the Bible he was referencing.) As well, his _Holy War_ is exceptional for the subject you are dealing with.

Modern day writers, Jerry Bridges', _Transforming Grace, Disciplines of Grace, _and _The Gospel for Real Life_, are great challenges to gospel study.

Study some on how the gospel works in the Christian life. Westminster Confession chapters 10-19 are particularly focused here, and presented in a logical format consistent with a common experience of the gospel.

Getting gripped by by more and more of how sinful one is, and by more and more of how sufficient He is, is the spiritual food the Spirit uses to grow fruit 30, 60, 100-fold.


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## INsearch (Sep 5, 2009)

Thanks. I am actually getting a book called Battling Unbelief by John Piper  it deals with nearly every spiritual "problem" I have, so I hope it will help me on my walk with God.


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## bookslover (Sep 5, 2009)

What's the matter with you? You're a sinner - that's what's the matter with you. And it's a big club you're a member of...


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## INsearch (Sep 5, 2009)

bookslover said:


> What's the matter with you? You're a sinner - that's what's the matter with you. And it's a big club you're a member of...



True.....true..VERY VERY true..... you know...not once have I till like now really thought to myself "Im a sinner...these things aren't going to always be avoidable"...instead...I keep treating them as "God doesn't want me" moments..thanks for pointing that out to me.


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## Idelette (Sep 5, 2009)

I also think there's a process of repentance....we don't just repent and that's it! But we are continually repenting and relying on the grace of God! When we repent we are actively "turning away" from those sinful things and actively "turning to" God! We are continually putting off the deeds of the flesh and putting on Christ! We need to be actively pursuing Him to grow in grace! One thing that I've learned is that the Christian life is not as a passive one! We are continually walking an uphill battle, and so we must work diligently towards sanctification! 

I've noticed in my own life that if I'm not spending much time in the Word it is then that my heart begins to grow hardened! I just want to encourage you to spend time daily in God's Word and in prayer! His grace is given through the means of prayer and studying His Word! (as well as the sacraments) God has provided those means for us and we ought to richly apply them to our lives! God has also given us the Body of believers to encourage us, to pray with us, to hold us accountable, to carry one another's burdens....so make it a point to be actively pursuing godly fellowship and consistently attending church. I just want to encourage you to continue to pursue the things of God and it is then that we can have the grace to resist the enemy! (Read Romans 7 and 8 when you have a chance)


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## Lady of the Lake (Sep 5, 2009)

That big club includes the Apostle Paul, see Romans 7:14-8:4. Hallelujah!


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## Brian Withnell (Sep 5, 2009)

Two things. One, hide in your heart all of his word. Two, find a friend that will spend time with you, walk beside you, and pick you up when you fall.

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"


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## Houchens (Sep 5, 2009)

Praying for you! Yvonne really said it well! I too, have found that my areas of hardest struggles, are when I have tried so, on my own. It is Soooo important to have a brother (or sister, in my case) to walk along side of you, and to be there to carry you too, at times...like Brian posted. 

We ALL fall short of God's glory, EVERYDAY. Remember this, but don't allow it to become an "easy out," for not fulfilling your responsibility to hold true to His calling on your life.


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## kvanlaan (Sep 5, 2009)

> What's the matter with you? You're a sinner - that's what's the matter with you. *And it's a big club you're a member of...*



...and you're competing with all of us for chief of the club on an hourly basis. And we're a competitive bunch!

Romans 7:15 comes to me again and again when I talk to my children about the repetitive nature of what they are getting in trouble for and smacks me around a bit when I notice the repetitive nature of what I repent of.


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## PuritanCovenanter (Sep 5, 2009)

Ryan Withnell hit it on the spot. One of the best things that ever happened to me was being introduced to scripture memory. The first passage I ever memorized was 1 Corinthians 10:13. I really struggled with doing drugs and drinking too much. I also struggled with other youthful lusts also. But the more I memorized scripture and listened to music that was scripturally based my mind started to being habitually trained to think correctly. 

The Topical Memory System put out by the Navigators Ministry was the system that I used when I first became a disciple. Click on the following link. It was topical and very effective. It was a major help in renewing my mind, and converting my soul. 

Topical Memory System - The Navigators

This is how I was taught to memorize the scripture. 

How to Memorize Scripture - The Navigators


> How to Memorize Scripture
> 
> From its beginnings, has encouraged Bible memorization as an important tool for spiritual growth. The ministry has developed packets of verse cards to enable people to learn verses that will help them share their faith and become more like Christ. These cards are grouped by subject or "topic" and comprise what we call the Topical Memory System. The following article references these topics in its suggestions for effective memorization. Find out more on the Topical Memory System.
> 
> ...


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## awretchsavedbygrace (Sep 5, 2009)

Mortification of Sin By John Owen. Read it. Know the Enemy that you are up against. Its done me well.


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## Brian Withnell (Sep 5, 2009)

PuritanCovenanter said:


> Ryan Withnell hit it on the spot.



(this is just a joke by a politician ... first chance to use it!) Don't care what you say about me, but get the name spelled right!


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## PuritanCovenanter (Sep 5, 2009)

Brian Withnell said:


> PuritanCovenanter said:
> 
> 
> > Ryan Withnell hit it on the spot.
> ...



Too many Ryan's and Brian's. You all start to look and sound alike to me after a while. LOL


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## Brian Withnell (Sep 5, 2009)

PuritanCovenanter said:


> Brian Withnell said:
> 
> 
> > PuritanCovenanter said:
> ...



Hmmm... If we sound alike on here, then you may want to think about either turning off the enunciator, or seeing a shrink.


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## dr_parsley (Sep 6, 2009)

INsearch said:


> Every time I repent...it will last about half a day then I will choose to go against him (ex. "I give up..I don't want to try and follow him anymore"<---that kind of choosing to go against him...not just simply sinning) what the heck is wrong with me? this keeps happening to me...in fact it seems to ALWAYS happen to me.



Please read "Precious Remedies against Satan's Devices" by Thomas Brooks available from Banner of Truth Book Detail. For example, a remedy against Satan's device of "Causing saints to remember their sins more than their Saviour".


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## INsearch (Sep 6, 2009)

Reminds me of a quote...granted not a reformed man..but still...a good quote.
*
If you are a preacher of mercy, do not preach an imaginary but the true mercy. If the mercy is true, you must therefore bear the true, not an imaginary sin. God does not save those who are only imaginary sinners. Be a sinner, and let your sins be strong, but let your trust in Christ be stronger, and rejoice in Christ who is the victor over sin, death, and the world. We will commit sins while we are here, for this life is not a place where justice resides. We, however, says Peter (2. Peter 3:13) are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth where justice will reign. It suffices that through God's glory we have recognized the Lamb who takes away the sin of the world. No sin can separate us from Him, even if we were to kill or commit adultery thousands of times each day. Do you think such an exalted Lamb paid merely a small price with a meager sacrifice for our sins? Pray hard for you are quite a sinner. * - _Martin Luther_


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