# do wives of deacons need to be believers?



## Scott

Do wives of deacons need to be believers? Does anyone know of any commentary on 1 Tim 3:11 that addresses this? The chief relevant passage is:


> Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. 11 *Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.* 12Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.



I could not find anything in Calvin or Matthew Henry on this point. Looking for other sources. 

Thanks!


----------



## Marrow Man

The problem is that there is a translation issue here (not a text critical issue). The Greek word used is the plural of _gune_, which can be translated either "wives" (e.g., KJV, NKJV, ESV) or "women" (e.g., NASB and NIV). Part of the exegetical argument is that the wives of elders are not mentioned (unless the "wives" here refers to both the elders and deacons). Unfortunately, this is how the subject of "deaconesses" is smuggled into the text (If I recall correctly, the NIV footnotes "deaconesses" at this verse). It is possible, however, that Paul is referring to women's ministry in the church, possibly those widows mentioned in 1 Timothy 5:9-10. But this would be a church ministry, not an ordained office.


----------



## Scott1

Great question, almost one to "stump the band."

Mr. Calvin generally sees the qualifications of wives here as for both elders and deacons.

Calvin's Commentary
http://www.biblestudyguide.org/comment/calvin/comm_vol43/htm/iii.v.ii.htm



> 11. Likewise the wives. He means the wives both of deacons and of bishops, for they must be aids to their husbands in their office; which cannot be, unless their behavior excel that of others.



The question might be framed another way- May a man not serve as a deacon if his wife is an unbeliever?

My instinct is, while this not ordinary, he may.

My understanding is that while it is the norm, it is not absolutely required that a church officer, e.g. deacon be married.

There is evidence that some of the wives of great leaders in the faith were not saved, or at least not saved at some point in the life of the leader.

The qualifications of I Timothy 3 (not a gossip, etc.) would still apply.


----------



## DavidinKnoxville

My take? The office of deacon requires a godly wife, thus the qualifications given for a wife of a deacon. There are situations that will arise that it would not be appropriate for a male deacon to assist in. This is where the godly wife comes along side her deacon husband and participates in her husbands ministry to the body of Christ.


----------



## Jack K

DavidinKnoxville said:


> My take? The office of deacon requires a godly wife, thus the qualifications given for a wife of a deacon. There are situations that will arise that it would not be appropriate for a male deacon to assist in. This is where the godly wife comes along side her deacon husband and participates in her husbands ministry to the body of Christ.



But there are also great practical advantages for a deacon who's unmarried, particularly in terms of available time and and not being encumbered with concerns for the care and safety of a family. So unless you see the Bible pointing to marriage as a spiritual qualification for deacons, I have a hard time buying this. In terms of practicality (which is _not_ generally the way the Bible handles the question of who makes a suitable deacon) it seems it would be helpful for the church to have both married and unmarried deacons, does it not?


----------



## Scott

The strange thing is that there is very little discussion of this issue in the usual places. Most commentaries ignore vs. 11 unless it is in the context of addressing the debate about whether women can be ordained as deaconesses. I have looked at the PCA BCO, the OPC BCO, the Shorter Catechism, the Larger Catechism, the Heidelberg Catechism, PCA position papers, Calvin’s commentary on 1 Timothy, Calvin’s Institutes, Matthew Henry’s commentary on 1 Timothy, P.G. Ryken's 1 Timothy commentary, and set of Ligonier articles on deacon qualifications. 

The most useful work I have found is an article on the OPC website by Archibald Alexander called The Biblical Qualifications for Elders and Deacons. It does not directly address the issue but assumes that the wife will be a Christian. Under the attribute of "vigilant," it concludes this:


> She should not be an immature Christian who drinks only milk and is unskilled in the word of righteousness. Rather, she should be mature and able to eat the solid food of Scripture. Her senses should be exercised by use, so that she is able to discern truth from error (Heb. 5:12–14).



Not sure where else to look.


----------



## KMK

Shouldn't the question actually be stated, "May not a man whose wife professes to be an unbeliever serve as and elder/deacon?" If so, then I think it would be similar to the man's children. Does he rule over them well? Are they respected within the community? Are they in trouble with the law? etc. 

If a man has a wife who professes Christianity but is under church discipline, then I think it would be better for him to concentrate on his domestic issues.

--------------

BTW, Scott, its nice to hear from you again!


----------



## jwithnell

> But there are also great practical advantages for a deacon who's unmarried, particularly in terms of available time and and not being encumbered with concerns for the care and safety of a family.


We are blessed with two such men in our congregation and one is retired!

I don't know how the wife of a deacon could be faithful in all things and not be a believer.


----------



## toddpedlar

jwithnell said:


> But there are also great practical advantages for a deacon who's unmarried, particularly in terms of available time and and not being encumbered with concerns for the care and safety of a family.
> 
> 
> 
> We are blessed with two such men in our congregation and one is retired!
> 
> I don't know how the wife of a deacon could be faithful in all things and not be a believer.
Click to expand...


I also don't know how a deacon (or elder for that matter) could be faithful in his first calling (as a husband) while his wife remains an unbeliever. Seeing to his ministry to her has GOT to trump any service to the church (in my opinion). If it doesn't in such a man's mind, I'd have to question whether he's truly called to the office to which he aspires.


----------



## DavidinKnoxville

Jack K said:


> DavidinKnoxville said:
> 
> 
> 
> My take? The office of deacon requires a godly wife, thus the qualifications given for a wife of a deacon. There are situations that will arise that it would not be appropriate for a male deacon to assist in. This is where the godly wife comes along side her deacon husband and participates in her husbands ministry to the body of Christ.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But there are also great practical advantages for a deacon who's unmarried, particularly in terms of available time and and not being encumbered with concerns for the care and safety of a family. So unless you see the Bible pointing to marriage as a spiritual qualification for deacons, I have a hard time buying this. In terms of practicality (which is _not_ generally the way the Bible handles the question of who makes a suitable deacon) it seems it would be helpful for the church to have both married and unmarried deacons, does it not?
Click to expand...

 
I don't have a problem with single deacons and I don't believe the text excludes them. If a deacon does have a wife however she must meet the qualifications.


----------



## Jack K

DavidinKnoxville said:


> Jack K said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> DavidinKnoxville said:
> 
> 
> 
> My take? The office of deacon requires a godly wife, thus the qualifications given for a wife of a deacon. There are situations that will arise that it would not be appropriate for a male deacon to assist in. This is where the godly wife comes along side her deacon husband and participates in her husbands ministry to the body of Christ.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But there are also great practical advantages for a deacon who's unmarried, particularly in terms of available time and and not being encumbered with concerns for the care and safety of a family. So unless you see the Bible pointing to marriage as a spiritual qualification for deacons, I have a hard time buying this. In terms of practicality (which is _not_ generally the way the Bible handles the question of who makes a suitable deacon) it seems it would be helpful for the church to have both married and unmarried deacons, does it not?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I don't have a problem with single deacons and I don't believe the text excludes them. If a deacon does have a wife however she must meet the qualifications.
Click to expand...

 
Ah, then I misread what you were saying. Sorry 'bout that.


----------



## Scott1

toddpedlar said:


> jwithnell said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But there are also great practical advantages for a deacon who's unmarried, particularly in terms of available time and and not being encumbered with concerns for the care and safety of a family.
> 
> 
> 
> We are blessed with two such men in our congregation and one is retired!
> 
> I don't know how the wife of a deacon could be faithful in all things and not be a believer.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I also don't know how a deacon (or elder for that matter) could be faithful in his first calling (as a husband) while his wife remains an unbeliever. Seeing to his ministry to her has GOT to trump any service to the church (in my opinion). If it doesn't in such a man's mind, I'd have to question whether he's truly called to the office to which he aspires.
Click to expand...

 
Here's the question, though- is it explicit or implicitly required in Scripture?

Generally, we look to I Timothy 3 and Titus 1 for the (very specific) qualifications for church office, which also qualifies wife and family to a lesser extent.



> I Timothy 3
> 
> 4One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
> 
> 5(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)



Here, it does not appear the children must be professed believers, but rather have a general reputation for being under control.



> 11Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
> 
> 12Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.



Here it appears to be saying that the wife of an officer must have qualifications of not being prone to gossip, confidence breaking, known intemperance, etc.

My understanding is these standards are not perfection, but more like "substantial compliance."

Also, that if married, biblically so (e.g. not polygamy, no unbiblical divorce and remarriage, etc.).

A related question might be- if marriage to a professed believer is required, what happens when a wife abandons irremediably, without repentance that can be brought be church or magistrate, and is eventually disciplined "as if" an unbeliever- does that mean the elder or deacon would have to resign his office if he was substantively innocent of the causes?

Having seen a couple instances of this, and God work a powerful testimony of restoration and eventual reconciliation, I think not.

And while there are likely great difficulties, at least for a time, for an officer with an unbelieving spouse, I do not see warrant in God's Word to require it of office.

Marriage is the beneficial state for office, yes, absolutely, and the "norm," but it does not seem Scripture strictly requires marriage for church office, nor that one married can remain in office only so long as his spouse does not prove out unbelief.

(Presbyterians, at least, believe the call of office is perpetual.)


----------

