# $10,000 Per Kid, Per Year



## Frosty (Jun 13, 2012)

This is directed toward those with children, mainly, but others are welcome to respond.

Please give your assessment of the following quote I've read recently, and have seen in the past:

"It takes $10,000 to raise a child, per year."

Accurate? Not quite but close? Not close? Feel free to share how things play out for you, if you feel comfortable doing so.


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## Backwoods Presbyterian (Jun 13, 2012)

Well I have 3 (soon to be 4 kids) and I don't make $10,000 per kid in salary, so either I am running at a deficit (which I am not) or that figure is off for me.


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## davenporter (Jun 13, 2012)

I sure hope not, because I couldn't afford that!


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## solas4me (Jun 13, 2012)

When my wife and I were researching countries to adopt from one of the requirements of some countries were just that
"$10,000 of income per person in the family". Needless to say i did not make the kind of income required for a family of
6, this caused us to exclude those countries from our decision.


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## LeeD (Jun 13, 2012)

That isn't accurate at all for MOST families. I would think something in the $3,000-$5,000 range would be more realistic.


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## Hilasmos (Jun 13, 2012)

It comes down to how they are figuring the numbers. If you are going to pay 75,000 for each kid to go to college, divide that by 18, and you are already at 4,000 a year average for just the college fund. They may also be assuming child care into this mix if both parents work, which could easily be thousands more a year before food/clothes/etc. 10,000 is very legitimate in that light, but people don't live at the same standards so it isn't very helpful.

Another perspective, which I have found in my own life, is related to a non-materialized expected value of a working wife. My wife stays home full time, so in a wordly sense my two kids cost me a full time salary - 15,000 a kid assuming she made 30k.


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## TexanRose (Jun 13, 2012)

So far, my two children have cost less than the tax breaks. But they're still young. 

Edit: Well, I guess if you consider the income I've "lost" by staying at home with them, they've cost more than $10k per year.


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## O'GodHowGreatThouArt (Jun 13, 2012)

Ten grand per kid?

Are they buying him/her everything they want? Unless there's medical conditions to deal with, it's highly improbable that ten thousand is the bare minimum needed.


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## Miss Marple (Jun 13, 2012)

Patently false.

Giant cost cutting measures can be achieved as each child is added to the fold. The first one is the most expensive. Hence, baby showers!

Getting passed down: all baby furniture, most clothes.

No extra expense for #2, 3, 4: usually housing, usually the car, usually health premiums.

A little more expense: food, some clothes, personal things like their camp fee or their birthday etc.

As for college, they appreciate it more when they pay for it.


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## Frosty (Jun 13, 2012)

Thanks to all so far. The number seems quite high, even when putting things like college into the yearly formula.

Miss Marple- I like those practical thoughts you included.


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## Frosty (Jun 13, 2012)

Thanks to all so far. The number seems quite high, even when putting things like college into the yearly formula.

Miss Marple- I like those practical thoughts you included.


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## he beholds (Jun 13, 2012)

No way. Maybe if they are in private school or daycares.


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## Dwimble (Jun 13, 2012)

he beholds said:


> No way. Maybe if they are in private school or daycares.


Yeah, if day care was assumed in that figure then $10,000 could easily be "required." Even part-time day care could amount to several thousand per year.


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## JennyG (Jun 13, 2012)

as has been said already - I don't think whoever wrote that can have heard of hand-me-downs.


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## jogri17 (Jun 13, 2012)

Such a statistic supposes certain lifestyle expectations. If you believe, as my parents did, that each child has a right to his or own room, a computer, a tv, etc. Than I could believe that. And if you eat at restaurants 3-5 times a week, it makes sense.


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## The Calvinist Cop (Jun 13, 2012)

No way! I have 5 and they all love ramen noddles......(their taste buds havent developed yet)


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## Jesus is my friend (Jun 13, 2012)

We are a low income family in Massachusetts and I would say that figure is close to right for us,the cost of living here is crazy,We would love to move to North Carolina,I am praying about it.


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## Pilgrim Standard (Jun 13, 2012)

I have six children and a most loving wife that homeschools them. (Therefore single income household) 
No Way does it take this much or I would be far into debt.


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## Scottish Lass (Jun 13, 2012)

We spent that much on medical bills alone Grace's first year (and after today, this year may not shape up so hot, either). But she's an exception, and I also agree that more kids lowers the per kid cost.


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## JOwen (Jun 14, 2012)

As a father of 9, private school, and given the area we live in, Pompton Plains, NJ (Sometimes referred to as pompous plains), I would say the number is correct. For us.


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## he beholds (Jun 14, 2012)

JOwen said:


> As a father of 9, private school, and given the area we live in, Pompton Plains, NJ (Sometimes referred to as pompous plains), I would say the number is correct. For us.



So you spend 90K per year on children?!?! We would be in such debt!


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## Miss Marple (Jun 14, 2012)

I don't think I've spent $90,000 on a lifetime of any of my children. But, we home school, no private school. Then again, you need to factor in the loss of potential income on my part.


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## Tripel (Jun 14, 2012)

I don't see anything wrong with the 10k figure. Nobody is suggesting it applies to all situations -- clearly it is an average. Even if YOU specifically do not pay for private school, others do. So there is an average cost just for educating a child all the way through high school, so that alone is going to be a few thousand dollars. Factor in food, clothing, housing, medical, etc. and I think the 10k figure is quite realistic. Even things like airplane tickets add up. Again, YOU specifically may not travel with your children, but many families do, so that averages out.

These kinds of stats are not suggesting that it costs 10k for _every_ year of _every_ child's life, so the fact that your baby survives on much less doesn't contradict this. Some years of a child's life are more expensive -- an older child eats more, does more activities, drives, and has higher education costs. It's better to think about the whole of childhood and not a year-by-year basis. I've heard it said that it costs about $200,000 to raise the average child through age 18, and I think that is pretty accurate.


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## davenporter (Jun 14, 2012)

Well, I do see a potential danger in touting these figures. It could give someone the impression that they cannot afford to have children and therefore should not consider them a blessing from God (and turn to contraception or not enjoying as much intimacy in marriage instead of trusting God's provision). This isn't to say that counting the cost is not important, but if children are a gift from God shouldn't we be encouraging people to have them (yes, they should trust God for financial provision even if $10K is an accurate estimation [which i'm pretty confident it's not], but not everyone is there yet) instead of putting a daunting figure like this in front of them? Just my two cents.


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## Dwimble (Jun 14, 2012)

Like daycare, private school could easily blast it well over the $10K/year figure. In the 2007-2008 school year, the national average for private school tuition in the U.S. was $8,549. The average elementary school tuition was $6,733, and high school was $10,549. I'd expect that figure to be noticeably higher now, four years later.

Depending on personal circumstances and choices, the per-child cost figure can be all over the place. We homeschool, don't use daycare, and our children have no special medical needs, so our per-child cost will never be anywhere near $10K. We have friends, however, whose costs are well over that.


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## Tripel (Jun 15, 2012)

Clearly there is a direct correlation between how much you spend on your children and how much you love them.


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## ProtestantBankie (Jun 15, 2012)

I rejoice to hear of the men on this thread with a quiver full of arrows.


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## davenporter (Jun 15, 2012)

Tripel said:


> Clearly there is a direct correlation between how much you spend on your children and how much you love them.



There is some truth in this; time is inherently more valuable than money.


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## kvanlaan (Jun 16, 2012)

What an incredible load of rubbish. There's no way. And if that is indeed the average (which I don't doubt), then it is no wonder that society is as screwed up as it is. We have done it on so much less. And yes, as you add children, the average does fall significantly.


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## KevinInReno (Jun 18, 2012)

I would guesstimate on average my wife and I spend about $10 a day on average per child - factoring in all costs. So that would amount to $3650 a year. We buy clothes at the goodwill, we do eat out a lot however, we homeschool, no major medical problems, and mix in some things like swim lessons, trips, etc. I now work out of the home and gave up my 9to5 I had prechildren (my wife is a full time nurse so 3 12 hour shifts a week for her)... but yeah $10 a day per child would be my estimate. If we were tighter financially we could even cut that number by going into our food budget.


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## lynnie (Jun 18, 2012)

With Christian school, I think ten grand is a low estimate. Without private school, sounds high.

Lets say 20 a week for a half hour piano lesson=1000/year. A week at Christian camp and soccer registration, 500. A couple museum trips, the zoo, the aquarium. Some summer fun with church friends, some nice craft kits, a bicycle... you can easily hit another 1000. Registration at the swim club or a small back yard pool. Roller blades. Books. Food, shoes. Co pays at the doctor for the earache, the annual check up, the occasional broken bone. Pets....cat food, dog shots, guinea pig food, litter. Winter boots and snowpants. One day skiing...maybe two. Some trips to the beach.

A lot depends on how you live. We never ate out but we did help buy books and hobbies. Model rockets back before 9-11. Helping with the first old car, car insurance. College tuition- a nightmare for many parents. They had senior class mission trips and senior class Europe trips. All my kids worked at age 16, but it was minimum wage and never enough for the big stuff. We rarely traveled anywhere more than a couple hours away with free for us housing.

Honestly I think it would be easy, if you include college, to go way over 10 grand per kid. Way way over. I would have traveled more for example, and maybe gotten a maid occasionally. It would have been nice to be less stressed and just buy take out dinner more, but we didn't. But I think I could have spent 10 grand per kid with no problem. The grandparents paid for Christian school, but they still seemed to cost a lot. Teen boys playing soccer must eat 3 or 4 times the calories I do, and we had four boys using 2 gallons of milk daily, minimum. And the cereal..oy vey. I'd make huge batches of granola for hours, and it would disappear in a nano second.

Kids are great, but they are not cheap.


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## Tripel (Jun 19, 2012)

kvanlaan said:


> What an incredible load of rubbish. There's no way. And if that is indeed the average (which I don't doubt), then it is no wonder that society is as screwed up as it is. We have done it on so much less. And yes, as you add children, the average does fall significantly.



It's not rubbish. That is an average cost. You have done it on less -- good for you. But you are not average. 

And why do you say it is screwed up? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you, but you seem to suggest that it's wrong to spend $10k on a child.


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## JoannaV (Jun 19, 2012)

It is not inherently wrong to spend $10k on a child. But society is screwed up and we can safely assume that a lot of the time parents are spending their money unwisely.
- A lot of people aren't spending $10k on education and healthcare, but rather on consumer items. I knew people in school who were always given the latest electronics and so on, yet their families were always running out of money and not able to afford basic necessities.
- A lot of people spend a lot of money on unnecessary expenses and thus determine that they cannot afford more children.
- Or they think they need to provide a certain lifestyle for their children, which requires a certain amount of money, and so they need two incomes.
- On a more trivial(?) note, there are families where the children _only_ drink soda, no water. That is part of the cost of raising children...and it probably comes with some health consequences.


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## Tripel (Jun 19, 2012)

JoannaV said:


> It is not inherently wrong to spend $10k on a child. But society is screwed up and we can safely assume that a lot of the time parents are spending their money unwisely.



You've listed several examples of people spending their money poorly, but I could come up with several examples of people spending a lot of money in a good way. Multiple people on this thread have mentioned private education, and I think that is money well spent. Some families spend a lot of money on quality food by purchasing local, organic produce and meat. Not everyone can afford that steep of a grocery budget, but it's certainly worth it for those who can.

The $10k statistic is a little shocking to many, but it's not a good reason to harp on how awful our society is, how foolish people are with their money, and how spoiled children are today. As others have noted, there are a lot of people who spend well over $10k per child in a responsible way. There are also people who spend relatively little on their children, but who are just as foolish with their money and do just as poor a job with biblical parenting.


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## Miss Marple (Jun 19, 2012)

Perhaps we can say that we CAN spend $10,000 per year per child, and responsibly too - if I had that kind of money we'd take European vacations for one thing, and I don't think they are a waste of money -

but we don't HAVE to. We can raise healthy children on less than half that, and happily and well, too, so we should not feel financially panicked about having children.


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## arapahoepark (Jun 19, 2012)

I heard recently on the ABC world news that it would cost on average 434K total to raise to child until their seventeenth birthday and that comes out to 5k more a year...what do you think of that one? Over the top I am sure. How do you think they estimate such scenerios?


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## Scottish Lass (Jun 19, 2012)

Averages often involve sort of a bell curve---many here do it far less, we _have _to spend more in our house than $10K. If they actually provided mean, median, and mode, that would be far more instructive about actual spending habits, I think. If we factored out Grace's non-routine medical expenses, I imagine we're way under $10K---lots of clearance and yard sale clothes, most toys are gifts, etc.


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## Christusregnat (Jun 19, 2012)

The price of deciding not to have as many children as God will bless a couple with (whether none or a dozen) is far more steep than a mere $10K a year.


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## michaelspotts (Jun 19, 2012)

"$10,000 per child" — Only when Uncle Sam is raising them.


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## Scottish Lass (Jun 19, 2012)

michaelspotts said:


> "$10,000 per child" — Only when Uncle Sam is raising them.


What do you mean? If nothing else, several of us above have explained how/why we spend more than that. "Uncle Sam" raising them (i.e. public school and/or Medicaid) would cost less than private school and what private insurance doesn't cover.


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## kvanlaan (Jun 19, 2012)

> It's not rubbish. That is an average cost. You have done it on less -- good for you. But you are not average.
> And why do you say it is screwed up? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you, but you seem to suggest that it's wrong to spend $10k on a child.



That is the world. It is rubbish because of what it includes to raise a child in the eyes of the world. It is not our standard - it is an irrelevant statistic, a benchmark that we simply don't belong to in so many ways - but it shapes the view of those who read it (present company being pointed at right now!) And it also shapes government policy - we almost were not allowed to adopt the children we now have because we weren't making $10K per head. It is indeed a problem and it is indeed rubbish because it is simply not necessary but that is how it is often presented in the articles that I've seen that quote that number.

Here's one now (which I find very fair, as it gives an out to a few of the 'necessary' expenses):


> It can be very expensive to raise a child in the United States. For example, according to one online calculator, it costs almost $200,000 US Dollars (USD) to raise a child from birth to age 18. Other sources estimate the cost at $250,000 USD or more. For parents who put their kids through college, tuition can add as much as $10,000 USD or more to that estimate.
> 
> Although this may seem like an unaffordable amount of money, keep in mind that the cost of raising children is spread out over almost two decades. Divided equally by 18 years, to raise a child will cost you roughly $11,000 USD per year. If you have two children, it will theoretically cost you about $22,000 USD per year to raise them, and so on. However, keep in mind that the first 11 or 12 years of each child’s life will most likely be more expensive than the teen years, because daycare expenses usually go away at age 12.
> 
> Fortunately, many of these expenses are ones that smart families can avoid, dramatically lowering what it costs to raise a child. For example, the online calculator estimates an expense of $2,900 USD per year for a bigger home. If you can find a bigger home that suits your needs for only $700 USD more a year, it will drop the total expense down to $150,000 USD. If you raise a child in the same size home you have now, you’ll spend under $140,000 USD.


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## Miss Marple (Jun 19, 2012)

kvaanlan makes such a good point. These statistics that get accepted as fact are used to damage the family, as well as to discourage childbearing.

How many times I heard at the pregnancy center where I worked: "I can't afford it."


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## BJClark (Jun 20, 2012)

These are things one report from the USDA is looking at..take your family income, calculate all of these things for a 12 month period and divide by the number of people in your household..which is why these things would vary from family to family and from state to state. 


"Housing expenses consist of shelter (mortgage payments, property taxes, or rent; maintenance and repairs; and insurance), utilities (gas, electricity, fuel, cell/telephone, and water), and house furnishings and equipment (furniture, floor coverings, major appliances, and small appliances).

Food expenses consist of food and nonalcoholic beverages purchased at grocery, convenience, and specialty stores; dining at restaurants; and household expenditures on school meals.

Transportation expenses consist of the monthly payments on vehicle loans, down payments, gasoline and motor oil, maintenance and repairs, insurance, and public transportation (including airline fares).

Clothing expenses consist of children’s apparel such as diapers, shirts, pants, dresses, and suits; footwear; and clothing services such as dry cleaning, alterations, and repair.

Health care expenses consist of medical and dental services not covered by insurance, prescription drugs and medical supplies not covered by insurance, and health insurance premiums not paid by an employer or other organization. Medical services include those related to physical and mental health.

Child care and education expenses consist of day care tuition and supplies; baby-sitting; and elementary and high school tuition, books, fees, and supplies. Books, fees, and supplies may be for private or public schools. The average child care and education expenses used in the Calculator are based on families who have these expenses. If you do not have these expenses, expenditures on a child should be adjusted to account for this 

Miscellaneous expenses consist of personal care items (haircuts, toothbrushes, etc.), entertainment (portable media players, sports equipment, televisions, computers, etc.), and reading materials (nonschool books, magazines, etc.).


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## KevinInReno (Jun 20, 2012)

There is also this reality not even mentioned on this thread... Many of the dollars you think are cost, are actually reallocated. So for example if my wife and I were sterile and didn't have kids... while at first you can pretend you might "save $10,000" a year or whatever number you want to come up with... that's not even true... because if my wife and I didn't have kids we probably would frankly take a few more vacations, shop at more expensive stores, dine with more frequency at pricey eateries. Not everyone would have this consumerism struggle, and I like to think I wouldn't, but I likely would. I know pre-kids I used to frequently shop at banana republic, heck even shopping at old navy is pricer. I know my wife and I used to weekly goto cheesecake factory after worship on the Lord's day. I might be driving the truck I wanted over the minivan. My wife might be in a sports car over a more affordable hyundai. I probably would have an Iphone over a pay as you go plan cell phone that costs me far less.

Reallocated dollars are not really costing you anything... it's priority management. Every dollar reallocated from something frivolous you may have done with it, is actually not costing you a dime at all. The only way there could be a baseline cost increase of a pure $10,000 is if your lifestyle didn't change one iota after having kids... and that is an unlikely reality.


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## Scottish Lass (Jun 20, 2012)

KevinInReno said:


> There is also this reality not even mentioned on this thread... Many of the dollars you think are cost, are actually reallocated. So for example if my wife and I were sterile and didn't have kids... while at first you can pretend you might "save $10,000" a year or whatever number you want to come up with... that's not even true... because if my wife and I didn't have kids we probably would frankly take a few more vacations, shop at more expensive stores, dine with more frequency at pricey eateries. Not everyone would have this consumerism struggle, and I like to think I wouldn't, but I likely would. I know pre-kids I used to frequently shop at banana republic, heck even shopping at old navy is pricer. I know my wife and I used to weekly goto cheesecake factory after worship on the Lord's day. I might be driving the truck I wanted over the minivan. My wife might be in a sports car over a more affordable hyundai. I probably would have an Iphone over a pay as you go plan cell phone that costs me far less.
> 
> Reallocated dollars are not really costing you anything... it's priority management. Every dollar reallocated from something frivolous you may have done with it, is actually not costing you a dime at all. The only way there could be a baseline cost increase of a pure $10,000 is if your lifestyle didn't change one iota after having kids... and that is an unlikely reality.


Yep. It's not as though most folks' incomes increase just because they have a kid. Our congregation's session was kind enough to give a small raise to Tim after Grace came along, but that's rare in most jobs.


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