# How to handle the confessions of children?



## moselle (Mar 7, 2010)

My 11yodd has evidently been under some conviction over some of her past behavior - more foolishness than anything - and she has been coming to me at least once or twice per day to tell me about things she remembers doing and "feels bad about". I do believe she is saved, and she tells me that she has confessed these things to God and asked forgiveness, but she also feels like she wants to tell me about them.

I'm thrilled that she feels comfortable talking to me! I'm more thrilled that she is gaining a desire toward righteousness. But I'm wondering if anyone has any good advice on how I can talk with her through these things. I feel completely inadequate, but so far, I've been essentially reminding her of the Gospel - all have fallen short / there is no temptation except what is common to man / who will deliver me from this body of death...etc. and assuring her that God has promised to forgive and that He loves her even more than I...

I'm also a bit concerned that she's looking for absolution (is that the right word?) as though confessing to a priest.


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## Jack K (Mar 7, 2010)

My gut reaction... awareness of sin and a willingness to confess are good things and are often hard to find in kids at that age. If telling you about her sin helps her deal with it, I don't think I'd discourage her outright.

Yeah, she may be doing this to try to gain some sort of human-based absolution or out of some superstition she's developed (has a Sunday school teacher or friend possibly told her she must confess her sins to someone to be forgiven?). If you sense this, you might gently remind her that she's forgiven in Jesus, not by her confession. But I'd try to do that in a way that still encourages her to keep talking honestly with you.

Finally, it sounds like she may be haunted by guilt. If she were one of my students, let's say, and this kept happening I'd probably ask her at some point if she feels as if God is angry with her over those past sins. If she does, I'd prescribe very heavy doses of the gospel: Jesus has taken that sin. God's anger went on him, not her. She belongs to Jesus, so God is delighted with her. Absolutely delighted. (administer repeatedly as needed, often)

My goal would be that she continues confessing and taking freely about her sin, taking it seriously, but feels no condemnation.


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## moselle (Mar 9, 2010)

Jack K said:


> Finally, it sounds like she may be haunted by guilt. If she were one of my students, let's say, and this kept happening I'd probably ask her at some point if she feels as if God is angry with her over those past sins. If she does, I'd prescribe very heavy doses of the gospel: Jesus has taken that sin. God's anger went on him, not her. She belongs to Jesus, so God is delighted with her. Absolutely delighted. (administer repeatedly as needed, often)
> 
> My goal would be that she continues confessing and taking freely about her sin, taking it seriously, but feels no condemnation.


 
Thank you - your gospel story is especially helpful, especially the emphasis on delight! I have to write that down.


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## Iconoclast (Mar 9, 2010)

Moselle,
In 1 Jn 1 John tells us about sin and a proper confession of it for believers.
It is exciting to hear as a parent when our children are aware of thier sin and their need to confess it before the Lord. Surely let her know that you yourself are still able to sin, and must daily confess your own sin to the Lord. Use it as an opportunity to explain in simple terms how a believer is to mortify sin, that is deprive it of it's power . Explain in a positive way about the benefit of obedience to all known commands ,how this leads to a clear conscience,rather than the guilt of a defiled conscience.
At 11 years old children are pretty quick to grasp some of these concepts.


> 13He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.


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## Contra_Mundum (Mar 9, 2010)

moselle,
You are an "ordained minister" in the context of your tiny "church." You received that commission the day you said "I do." You are _exactly_ the person that little child should be coming to, and in the refomational understanding of a minister's role--there's nothing sacerdotal about directing her little eyes to Jesus, using the Bible to teach her the truth of sin and Savior.

You are not "pronouncing absolution" in some kind of "priestly" way (as though you were some sort of Romanist grace-conduit), but you are doing (as befits your "office") pointing her to the absolution that Jesus offers sinners directly from his Word.

Accept and love your role. It is God given. 2Tim.1:5, 3:15.


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