# So if your BIL recently published a book...



## moselle (Sep 15, 2009)

I didn't even know he was writing a book. Our relationship has never been close - I think primarily because while our lives revolve around Christ and the church, I am the ugly, red-headed stepchild who has joined the Dark Side. My immediate family members are reluctant to talk to us about anything beyond recipes and how the kids are doing. When we visit, the silence can be deafening. (can you hear the self-pity rising? please pray for me!) 

So he's just published this book and I am trying to be positive about it, and have told them I'm looking forward to reading it. Which is true. But even from the small review I've seen, I have a feeling that it will be a reflection of the unbiblical doctrines that they have immersed themselves in - WOF, Latter Rain, contemplative prayer, etc., etc.

So how do you lovingly respond to unbiblical works while trying to build a relationship? We live very far away from each other, so communication is generally through email - and I'm such a poor communicator. I don't want to insult them through silence, which is my first inclination (silence, not insult).


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## ewenlin (Sep 15, 2009)

I'm sorry, but what is BIL?


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## Scottish Lass (Sep 15, 2009)

ewenlin said:


> I'm sorry, but what is BIL?



Brother-in-law, usually.


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## BJClark (Sep 15, 2009)

moselle;




> So he's just published this book and I am trying to be positive about it, and have told them I'm looking forward to reading it. Which is true. But even from the small review I've seen, I have a feeling that it will be a reflection of the unbiblical doctrines that they have immersed themselves in - WOF, Latter Rain, contemplative prayer, etc., etc.



If it is false doctrine how can you remain positive? you shouldn't..



> So how do you lovingly respond to unbiblical works while trying to build a relationship? We live very far away from each other, so communication is generally through email - and I'm such a poor communicator. I don't want to insult them through silence, which is my first inclination (silence, not insult).



In reading many responses from various writers, they are hardly loving, in the way 'many' perceive loving ie: give a glowing recommendations against heresy.

It is far more loving to stand firm and speak the truth against the lies, than to praise someone for their false beliefs, granted they may not 'feel' loved, but it is showing them love.

So if you read the book, and find it is false teachings, then speaking out against it is the most loving response you can give...


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## moselle (Sep 15, 2009)

BJClark said:


> If it is false doctrine how can you remain positive? you shouldn't..
> 
> In reading many responses from various writers, they are hardly loving, in the way 'many' perceive loving ie: give a glowing recommendations against heresy.
> 
> ...



Whoa...didn't mean to imply that I would give positive comments or approval of false beliefs. Because no one is likely to ask for my review or opinion, I am trying to establish a relationship which includes communicating the truth in a loving way. In spite of their doctrinal errors, they ARE my brothers and sisters in Christ as well as by blood and water.


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## Montanablue (Sep 15, 2009)

I think you can probably say something encouraging by referring to how much work he has done and how relieved and proud he must be to have finished. Something like, " Haven't had a chance to read your book yet, but I'm sure you worked really hard on it. What a testament to your work ethic! I hope you're getting some well deserved rest." Then, later, after you have read it, perhaps you can have a conversation. You can always start these conversations by saying something like, "I'm interested by what you bring up in Chapter X. What exactly do you mean by that?" etc etc etc. You don't necessarily have to start off in an overly aggressive or confrontational manner. Gentle curiosity and respectful disagreement will get you far, I think. As long as you acknowledge the amount of work and thought that went into it, I think he'll be appreciative.


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