# Should a Christian Seek to "Forgive" Oneself?



## Fly Caster (Oct 5, 2011)

I was listening to this Joe Morecraft Sermon and was struck by a point that he made that a Christian must not seek to "forgive" himself (@22-26 min)-- "When you've sinned against God defiantly, don't ever forgive yourself for the rest of your life."

I have to confess that I've never considered it that way.

Thoughts?


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## AThornquist (Oct 5, 2011)

Just thinking aloud here, but whatever "forgiving oneself" means, it isn't the same as forgiving others. When I think of "forgiving oneself" I tend to think of it as acceptance or being at peace with what has been done, and though there is a place for that in a Christian's life it is because we have peace with God and forgiveness through Christ. Any genuine peace or warranted acceptance of the past is through the Cross, otherwise it is nothing better than self-deception. 

So when I say to myself, "I really was a _cruel_ young man and lived as an angry, ugly-hearted jerk," I acknowledge where I was but no longer am because I am a new man. Those sins are forgiven, so I accept what I have done as done and am at peace with it. While I don't, some might call that "forgiving" myself. If I were to sin against God defiantly, why wouldn't I do the same? Did Jesus not die for those sins as well? I refuse to carry the weight of sins that Christ bore on Himself, though I _don't_ forget it. The guilt no longer plagues me if I repent, but the memory of them lives on, hopefully to fuel thankfulness and joy in Him.


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## Weston Stoler (Oct 5, 2011)

I think, when I say forgive oneself, I mean do not dwell on the fact (after repentance) that you made that sin but dwell on Christ as the mediator on your behalf. It is good to dwell on the fact that we have fallen and are sinful and need Christs forgiveness and acceptance. It is not good to dwell just on the fact that you have sin. That will get you no were.

---------- Post added at 02:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:27 PM ----------

12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.


My scriptural support


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## InSlaveryToChrist (Oct 5, 2011)

Forgiveness indicates a reconciliation between two parties: the offender and the offended. But the idea of forgiving oneself presupposes that the offender and the offended are the same person. This, however, certainly cannot be true because we always do that which is right in our own eyes, not that which offends us. So, since we are not the offended party, the whole idea of self-forgiveness collapses.

But I think the phrase "forgiving oneself" might just be someone's bad formulation of the fact that we should not feel guilty of something we've been forgiven of--if we've been forgiven in Christ, then it would be a most great offence to Christ if we would still feel guilty before, or expect condemnation from God. That is unbelief.


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## seajayrice (Oct 5, 2011)

How would you keep track of all that sin to hold against yourself? Prolly some Android app available.


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## Stargazer65 (Oct 5, 2011)

seajayrice said:


> How would you keep track of all that sin to hold against yourself? Prolly some Android app available.






Funny, and so true!


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## Scott1 (Oct 5, 2011)

I listened to the passage and other points and found this to be solid biblical teaching, with some deeper truths being expounded. On several points, this was quite edifying.

The example in the sermon, the Apostle Paul recalling his great sin (and hating it) is an example of the context of the way this is being discussed (and one example he uses in the sermon).

Mortifying ourselves in prayer is part of this, difficult, a foreign concept to a self seeking, self glorifying generation- but a biblical discipline in any.


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## yoyoceramic (Oct 5, 2011)

Keller via Powlison formulates it in a fashion like somewhat like this:

An idol cannot forgive, it can only demand more strict servitude from its slave. If someone fails a personal idol (whether that is a person, relationship, ability, desire, hope, expectation) the only recourse for them is to get over their disappointment by plunge further into idol worship by seeking its forgiveness. The problem here however is the idol will not forgive, but require even more service. 

Whenever someone says "I need to forgive myself" What they are saying is, "I have failed an idol, and I need it to forgive me". The only problem is this is impossible.

Further reading: Idols of the Heart and "Vanity Fair" | CCEF


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## MW (Oct 5, 2011)

yoyoceramic said:


> Whenever someone says "I need to forgive myself" What they are saying is, "I have failed an idol, and I need it to forgive me". The only problem is this is impossible.


 
That cuts right to the heart of the matter.


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## JBaldwin (Oct 5, 2011)

When I think of "forgiving myself", I think of letting go the guilt I feel for having done something. Holding on to guilt is in itself idolatry, because when we feel guilty, we actually think that we should have been capable of doing the right thing. In reality, we can't do anything right apart from Christ.


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## MarieP (Oct 5, 2011)

But "I forgave myself" sounds so much less convicting and so more pious than "I repented of not trusting Christ to forgive and cleanse me"...


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## AlexanderHenderson1647 (Oct 6, 2011)

Yes, it is a phrase that gets passed about without much qualification. I've often wondered at it, but never truly heard a Biblical warrant for it. Certainly, if we are holding on to some sin impenitently, the trouble is not with getting things right with oneself. Then again, if we have some matter that we have brought before the Lord and sought His beneficence and we yet live as though we are yet in slavery to that sin, then we set a standard higher than Him. But, I genuinely do not see the warrant for "forgive thyself."


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## J. Dean (Oct 6, 2011)

If God forgives me through the finished work of Jesus Christ, what is my self-forgiveness compared to that?


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## Herald (Oct 6, 2011)

You have to determine what is meant by the proposition (forgiving yourself). If it means recognizing the forgiveness of Christ, then fine. If the proposition is other than that then it is idolatry.


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