# How many "friends" do you have on Facebook?



## SolaScriptura

I don't have a Facebook account. I'm a paranoid loser.

Anyway, I have some real life friends and they were talking about their Facebook account and one of them talked about having 286 "friends." I wondered at how that is possible since I know for a fact that he doesn't even know a quarter that many people. 

So I have two questions: How many "friends" do you have on Facebook?

Second, please give me an insight into Facebook culture:
How does someone get so many people to want to be their "friend" on Facebook when they don't know them at all? On what basis does someone become a "friend" when they don't know them in real life at all?

How is that possible????


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## CatherineL

I have 76, and I'm pretty picky about accepting friends. It has to be someone I know, and someone I'm ok with having access to pictures of my kids, etc. I never accept friends I don't have an active interest in keeping up with. Its been great since we've moved a lot to keep up with friends we would have otherwise lost touch with, and its good for keeping up with college and high school age relatives/friends (they are the bulk of my status updates).

I know people who have 500+ friends. To me that's just too many people to be up in my bid'ness, if you know what I mean.


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## au5t1n

Most people add everyone they have ever heard of, and then their friends' friends they have never met. I have only 160-something, and that is actually very low compared to many of my friends. 286 is getting there, but it is still low.

I know a Reformed man (father of 9!) on Facebook who has a lot of friends (1000+, I think) because he adds friends of friends when he sees them discussing theology on a mutual friend's FB (Confusing, I know). It's really sweet because whenever he posts something theological, a whole mass of people comment on it, and some really good theological discussions get started on his FB. AThornquist is friends with him too.


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## ubermadchen

I have a 396. I don't think I'm that popular. A lot of people from my church are on facebook, even the grannies! But I think the fact that I knew quite a few folks from high school and was heavily involved in campus ministries helped increase my circle of "friends." Believe it or not, I do know each person on my facebook in real life (at least at one point in my life). I think I have at most, 10 friends that I've never interacted with in "real life" (i.e. friends from the two message boards I frequent). Usually, if I'm not that interested in hearing the day to day of their life, I just ignore their updates on facebook. I feel mean defriending them. Plus, I enjoy having that large amount of friends, who are often non-Christian, as I try to share prayer requests/praises which I hope are little seed plants in their lives.

I think some of the folks that "friend" a multitude of strangers they've never met and never interacted with on any social circumstance are just insecure and persistent.


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## awretchsavedbygrace

I have about 90 friends on facebook. As Catherine stated, their must be a common ground of interest for me to send someone a request or accept one. It is a good place to share the gospel with others and discuss theological issues. At the same time, it can be a idol that takes up most of your time. _*Be careful. *_


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## Tripel

I'm not on Facebook either, but from what I've gathered, "friend" in Facebookeese doesn't mean any more than "person I know or at least have a connection to".


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## he beholds

hahaha...i have 626 friends.
i do not discriminate, obviously. a lot of my friends are from here, but most are from college and high school. 

a few, (i just counted--six) like Mark Dever or Lew Rockwell, are people i don't really know. other than that, i know everyone on my page in real life, but for the PB folk; there are 47 of you, but one I do know in real life from college. 

and i did just recently go through and delete people that i never talked to. 

also, i sort of fall under the paranoid category and my name is not my real name on fb.


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## Simply_Nikki

I have 427 friends. Of that, I'd say about 100-150 of them are online friends who I never met. The rest are from high school, colleges, bible studies and churches.


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## Tripel

While we're sort of on the topic, what about "friends" on the Puritan Board?


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## Webservant

I have 186.


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## Jake

I'm not too picky, but I only add people that I know/have known in real life.. I don't add online people. 

I have 288... and 9 pending requests of people I don't know...


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## ubermadchen

he beholds said:


> hahaha...i have 626 friends.
> i do not discriminate, obviously. a lot of my friends are from here, but most are from college and high school.
> 
> a few, (i just counted--six) like Mark Dever or Lew Rockwell, are people i don't really know. other than that, i know everyone on my page in real life, but for the PB folk; there are 47 of you, but one I do know in real life from college.
> 
> and i did just recently go through and delete people that i never talked to.
> 
> also, i sort of fall under the paranoid category and my name is not my real name on fb.



I'm the same way. I'm "friends" with John Piper and R. Scott Clark but I know they don't know me from Adam. I'm also friends with a few famous musicians, who I have met, but also don't know me at all. Being friends with them isn't to add to my ego; it's because I genuinely like what they post on their profiles and do want to keep up with them in a non-stalkerish way.


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## matt01

Tripel said:


> While we're sort of on the topic, what about "friends" on the Puritan Board?



I was only _on_ Facebook for a couple of days, but it seemed that many people simply friend for the sake of doing it. It seemed like a waste of time. I don't have any _friends_ on this discussion board; it likewise seems to be fairly pointless.


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## Southern Twang

I have 140 friends on FB. Most are Christians. I especially add those who are friends of my current friends. I find FB is a helpful tool in keeping in touch and connecting with Christians all across the country (and possibly the world).

Especially of the dominionist variety


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## Herald

3.4


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## Tripel

sans nom said:


> I don't have any _friends_ on this discussion board; it likewise seems to be fairly pointless.



That's fair, though I understand the appeal of "friendships". I think I have 9 here, and they're mostly limited to people I actually know in person, or those who I seem to be agreeing with a lot.


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## Herald

FB has provided an interesting witnessing dynamic. Many of my former classmates and family members have "friended" me. This has lead to discussions about then gospel, both on my Wall and in PM. It also means I must be diligent to police what is posted on my Wall. Two-edged sword.


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## he beholds

ubermadchen said:


> he beholds said:
> 
> 
> 
> hahaha...i have 626 friends.
> i do not discriminate, obviously. a lot of my friends are from here, but most are from college and high school.
> 
> a few, (i just counted--six) like Mark Dever or Lew Rockwell, are people i don't really know. other than that, i know everyone on my page in real life, but for the PB folk; there are 47 of you, but one I do know in real life from college.
> 
> and i did just recently go through and delete people that i never talked to.
> 
> also, i sort of fall under the paranoid category and my name is not my real name on fb.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm the same way. I'm "friends" with John Piper and R. Scott Clark but I know they don't know me from Adam. I'm also friends with a few famous musicians, who I have met, but also don't know me at all. Being friends with them isn't to add to my ego; it's because I genuinely like what they post on their profiles and do want to keep up with them in a non-stalkerish way.
Click to expand...

I am friends with Derek Webb, who I have met in person but who does not know me. I agree with you--I don't think you being a friend to a famous person could add to your ego. It's not like _they_ asked you--and even if they did, the rest of the world wouldn't know it! But some people, like Matthew Smith of Indelible Grace, actually do write on facebook and give status updates, etc. That is my favorite part of facebook, even though when it was introduced I was very confused!


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## JonathanHunt

I have about 400. Of those, I have personally met about 200. Another 100 are internet contacts (like from here) and the other 100 I will have to prune off as time goes by unless they are especially interesting or I strike up a rapport with them.


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## SolaScriptura

Herald said:


> 3.4



3.4? What is a ".4" friend? Or are you joshin' me?

-----Added 11/11/2009 at 06:39:05 EST-----



he beholds said:


> hahaha...i have 626 friends.



That's a lot of friends. How do that many people come into contact with you in the first place?


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## Rich Koster

0. Disclaimer: my wife opened an account in my name which I never used.


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## BJClark

Ben,

Many ppl add "friends' for online games..

I play a few games online..so therefore I have added 'many' friends..ppl from all over the world, so many of them I have never met...but I have over 600 'friends'

but two of my brothers, my cousins and aunt's and second cousins, and nieces and nephews and my kids teachers, my sister-in-laws..and ppl from here, ppl from church, ppl from high school, elementary school, former neighbors, friends from when I was in the service, and then other friends I've have known over the years, and some of them have multiple accounts for gaming..so they send requests for those accounts..

My brother plays a couple of online games and needed ppl to be part of his gaming teams..so when my son started a facebook account he added him, and my son asked me to start one and play the game to help him..so I did....and my daughter plays a different online game and needed 'neighbors' so I started playing that game to help her..and in doing so it has grown my 'friends' list to over 600...

many of them send chat messages to ask questions about the various games they play or ask for help within the game--which in turn opens the door for talking about other subjects..some of them will see something I comment on or something I post and will message me or send private message asking about it..

A few of them from overseas started sending me links to various pastors to listen to..so I started sending them links..to things like The Whitehorse Inn, Sermonaudio, and Doxology_its all about God and such..they listen to the sermons or read the articles and then want to discuss them..

So from the gaming side of things your friends list can grow pretty quickly, and open the door to sharing the Gospel with others--


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## Heidelberg1

Herald said:


> FB has provided an interesting witnessing dynamic. Many of my former classmates and family members have "friended" me. This has lead to discussions about then gospel, both on my Wall and in PM. It also means I must be diligent to police what is posted on my Wall. Two-edged sword.





I have also used it as a venue for Evangelism, especially towards old High School friends. For Christian friends, the Visual Bookshelf application is great for keeping up with books that we are each currently reading. Like any technology, it can be used to glorify God, or it can become a tremendous time waster.

I have 110 friends.


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## Ivan

1228


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## Backwoods Presbyterian

For those of us that live in Reformed wastelands and do not have regular contact with Reformed believers it is a blessing for fellowship.


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## TaylorOtwell

100 something, I think. More than I have in real life...


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## Nathan Riese

586, but those are people who added, me, i just confirmed. a couple hundred are college people who just recognize my face. Others are famliy, old friends from elementery, junior high, highschool, old church families. People I never see and never talk to, but I might send them a facebook invite to a wedding reception or something...oh wait, i already had my wedding and wedding reception. Welp, i blew it!


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## baron

I have about six or seven, do not really use it.

My ex pastor has over 5,000 and that is the limit so then he had to start a Fan page. He did not like that but thats the rule.


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## BJClark

Ben,

Another thing people do is join the various facebook groups that have discussion forums, and the ppl who belong to the groups begin adding others who belong to that group to their friends list..so if someone belongs to say 10 groups that they post discussion topics on..and each of those groups have 50 or more members it's easy to build your friends list up from just those 10 groups you belong to..


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## JoyFullMom

At the moment, I have 126 friends. 

My husband and I were FB holdouts for a long time. Then, this summer, my father suffered a massive heartattack. When I took my mother home from the hospital that first night to get some things together to go back up for the night, she logged into her FB and immediately took maybe 5 minutes to put out a message to all her friends and family re: what happened and needs for prayer. The next few days, I saw how much it meant to her to come in each evening for a few minutes and read all the encouraging words for her and my dad. Wow! We were able to quickly get back to the hospital with my dad instead of spending time on the phone or thinking of who to email. 

After I realized that a large number of my many relatives were there, I jumped in. I quickly found out how many from my husband's large family....who are dispersed all over the world...are there. So, I signed him up too.

It has been a great blessing and enjoyment for a busy mom. It takes me no time at all to keep in touch with people I care about....whereas before, I was constantly feeling guilty that I couldn't grab a slot of time for a phonecall, or the brainwaves to compose an email. 

I have LOTS of family and friends from high school and college. My husband and I also moved quite a bit early in our marriage and it has been nice to get back in touch with people who blessed our lives for a brief moment in time years ago. 

So, yeah, it can be a huge time drain.....or a blessing to you and others. Your choice. 

-----Added 11/11/2009 at 08:33:46 EST-----

....oh...and they have these nice little choices called "ignore", "hide" and "block". 

Mwaaahhhaaaahhhaaaa!!!!


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## Athaleyah

I used to have over 300 from games... but I purged it down to 18 people who know me from some non-Facebook context. Few PB, some very long time online friends, and a few people from church.


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## Osage Bluestem

I have 49. I know all of them in one way or another. I have one request in to a guy I knew in high school that another friend of mine recommended so it will probably be 50 soon.

I am new to facebook. My cousin asked me to get an account a couple months ago because I was hard to keep track of. I have found it very interesting reconnecting with people I have lost touch with over the years. A couple of them I haven't seen since I was a small kid.


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## Marrow Man

390 on Facebook, 62 on the Puritan Board


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## caddy

432


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## BJClark

JoyFullMom;




> After I realized that a large number of my many relatives were there, I jumped in. I quickly found out how many from my husband's large family....who are dispersed all over the world...are there. So, I signed him up too.



a large number of mine are as well..when they had a family reunion this past summer I couldn't make, but they were all posting pictures right away..

I recently located a lady I knew when I was a child, our parents were best of friends when our dad's were stationed together in the Navy. when my dad left my mom, her mom came and stayed with her, then they moved overseas and they lost touch..I contacted the daughter who in turn called her mom who told her I was asking about her, her mom asked to call me..she called a couple days ago, we talked for a good two hours..I was like in 4th grade the last time I seen them..it was a real blessing to me as I've really been missing my mom lately, so to have someone to talk to who was her friend and who knew her in a different context other than sister or mom was nice..


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## Scottish Lass

I have just under 300, the vast majority of whom I have at least met in person. I taught school for several years in four different cities, so former students and colleagues make up a chunk of that. We've had connections with several churches, and so I have a few that way, a reasonable number from here, plus people from high school, etc. I have fewer than five that I have no connection to other than a game on FB. I don't accept requests from people I don't know unless they're clearly from here (if they're marked as having 24 mutual friends with me, all of whom are on here, I can do the math even if I don't recognize the name).

I feel odd about asking someone famous (even just within Reformed circles) to be my friend with the exception of Dr. Jay Adams, whom I've met several times personally to the point he actually knows my name. 

It's been a great way to keep up with old friends since we've moved a lot in the last ten years. Lots of people can pray for Tim's ministry and my pregnancy that never would have known otherwise.


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## ewenlin

Ivan said:


> 1228


Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winnah!


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## cpomann

I have about 35. Family, friends, and a few ole military buddies. Biggest pleasure is keeping up with the family. I have a daughter in Okinawa, and another in Atlanta, Ga. So much easier than e-mail and I love all the pics I have access to.....


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## JoyFullMom

BJClark said:


> JoyFullMom;
> a large number of mine are as well..when they had a family reunion this past summer I couldn't make, but they were all posting pictures right away..



My husband had the same experience. He had to miss a big family reunion, but has reconnected with many relatives anyway and saw pics right away.

He grew up an MK in Indonesia. He has reconnected with many from there. He even has a couple of people from the tribes there who speak Indonesian and *write* in it on his FB! Incredible isn't it??


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## Andres

last time I paid attention, I had 96 friends on FB. I do personally know all of them, although some I haven't talked to face to face in years, such as people I went to HS with. I have turned down lots of friend requests because, to be perfectly honest, I really didn't care what was going on in that persons life and I didn't want them to know that much about mine. Am I a jerk? Also (here is another jerk move, man I am bad) if a person posts too many annoying updates, BAM!, I delete them from my friends list.


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## Bern

109 friends, all I know personally. I have people from college etc on there, and sometimes that can get annoying, due to them posting rude messages and videos... I actually have half my contacts hidden from view so I never know what they're up to. I use it to catch up with Christian friends, and to evangelise and discuss the bible with non Christians. As people have said, it can be a massive time waster though. I haven't got any reformed contacts


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## Christian Soldier

I have 340 right now. Most I don't know personally, but I have "met" some really cool Christian people this way. Some use Facebook just for friends, but others like me use it for networking as well. Good way to meet other like-minded people. Just like the Puritan Board.


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## Scottish Lass

I do have several of my former students hidden from view---if they're going through that I"m-drunk-every-weekend phase or something similar, I merely hide their statuses from view. That way I'm still available if they want a paper edited or whatever, but I don't have to see the profanity, etc. that often occurs. 

I'm sure many of them have me hidden since I tend post links to very conservative political issues...


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## Marrow Man

I am sure some have hidden me as well -- some of my friends back in SC now attend Perry Noble's NewSpring church, and I have posted some critical videos, etc., concerning him and the church. At first I got a few flames and PMs, then I was "de-friended" by a few, now I am pretty sure the rest simply hide my comments.


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## Ivan

baron said:


> I have about six or seven, do not really use it.
> 
> My ex pastor has over 5,000 and that is the limit so then he had to start a Fan page. He did not like that but thats the rule.



Ed Stetzer?

-----Added 11/12/2009 at 10:42:02 EST-----



ewenlin said:


> Ivan said:
> 
> 
> 
> 1228
> 
> 
> 
> Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winnah!
Click to expand...


There are more now. I probably gain 2 or 3 "friends" a day. Most are Christians...friends of friends...some non-Christians...family...church members...old friends...business associates...and on it goes.

It has become a way to fellowship, gain information and minister to people. It has been a very good thing for me. Very different than the PB, but different in a good way.


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## Skyler

I think I have about 10. All of them are people I know in real life(mostly other folks from church).


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## Skyler

Joshua said:


> It varies from day to day. Believe it or not, I'm quite the popular fellow away from the PB. I'm pretty much the epitome of _popular_ on the internet. I have arrived (on the internet). I have attained nirvana (on the internet).



So, anywhere from 3 to 5, then, huh?


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## Skyler

Joshua said:


> Silence, peasant, lest ye die and untimely death (on the internet).



I don't want to untimely death. But I like the Facebook song. I will be quiet and listen now.


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## carlgobelman

SolaScriptura said:


> I don't have a Facebook account. I'm a paranoid loser.
> 
> Anyway, I have some real life friends and they were talking about their Facebook account and one of them talked about having 286 "friends." I wondered at how that is possible since I know for a fact that he doesn't even know a quarter that many people.
> 
> So I have two questions: How many "friends" do you have on Facebook?
> 
> Second, please give me an insight into Facebook culture:
> How does someone get so many people to want to be their "friend" on Facebook when they don't know them at all? On what basis does someone become a "friend" when they don't know them in real life at all?
> 
> How is that possible????



I think I'm up to about 101 friends on FB. They fall into several categories:

1. Family
2. Actual friends I currently associate with
3. People from church
4. Co-workers
5. People from other internet networking groups (e.g., Theologica and PB)
6. People I used to work with whom I've reconnected with on FB
7. People I used to go to school with whom I've reconnected on FB
8. People from the church I used to attend

Usually when you 'friend' someone, you can check their friend list to see if you know someone in common. You can also have FB check your email contact list to see if there is anybody on your list that is on FB. Finally, there is a feature on FB that suggests people that you might want to 'friend.' This is usually generated from friends of your friends that aren't your friend.

I personally wouldn't friend anybody with whom I have had no personal contact with in some way shape or form.


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## Jim Peet

*More like an acquaintance*

A Facebook friend is more like an _acquaintance_

BTW: I am on Facebook. It's a good way to connect with people (say if you are in a large church).


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