# My 7 year old daughter wants to dye her hair blond.



## jwright82

My daughter who is 7 wants to dye her hair blond. At what age is this too young? I pretty much told her no but I am wondering when is an apropriate age for this. So I thought there is no better place to get advice than from my reformed brothers and sisters. What do ya'll think?


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## alhembd

James,

In some Reformed churches (such as mine) dying hair is forbidden. It is considered vanity. Proverbs 31.30: "Favour _is_ deceitful, and beauty _is_ vain: _but_ a woman _that_ feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.


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## JM

Why does she want to dye her hair?


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## Andres

JM said:


> Why does she want to dye her hair?


 
isn't it obvious? So she can have more fun!


(for clarification, this comment is intended as a joke. I'm not saying that dying one's hair is more fun, but I was attempting to play on the phrase "blondes have more fun")


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## Tripel

I'm one of those who doesn't see a problem with kids doing crazy things with their hair. That said, 7??? I have a nephew who is about to turn 7, and I can't fathom someone his age interested in something like that. 

Why does she want to dye her hair?


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## jwright82

I have no idea. Her mother dyes her hair like three different colors, all natural colors. My daughter loves fake tatoos too and her mother has one, so she'll probally get one. She got it when we were like 18. She is a good women and a great mother so I don't want to imply anything bad about her. We are divoriced so that makes things tricky. We are committed to raising her in the reformed faith and we have a unified front on raising her with the real important values. I hope she doesn't get a tatoo but when she hits 18 than she can do what she wants. But as far as the hair dyeing thing I don't know why she wants to. I suspect that Andres is right though it is more fun. She loves to dress up in like all the princess dresses and stuff so maybe that is a clue. I talked to her mother about it and we agreed that she should wait till she is older but I would like a good picture of when. Sometimes I have to be practical.


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## Tripel

I don't think there's a clear age when it is or isn't appropriate, but puberty might be a place to start. And take that as nothing more than me throwing out a random suggestion.


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## Tripel

Joshua said:


> Yes there is! I posted it. 1.75 years, although I'd allow a 100 hundredth of a percentage point to be changed +/-. That's clearly objective thinking.


 
That doesn't work, at least not for my kids...who seem to need every bit of 2 years before their hair comes in. I'm not about to argue with my 1.75 year old about dying his scalp.


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## Scottish Lass

Simply because of the chemicals involved, I'd suggest she wait, whether she wants a professional or to do it at home. For anything other than blonde, there are gentler dyes, though.


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## jwright82

Tripel said:


> I don't think there's a clear age when it is or isn't appropriate, but puberty might be a place to start. And take that as nothing more than me throwing out a random suggestion.


That was my thought too. It seems that at that age I can better understand whether or not her intentions are good or bad.

---------- Post added at 01:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:31 PM ----------




Scottish Lass said:


> Simply because of the chemicals involved, I'd suggest she wait, whether she wants a professional or to do it at home. For anything other than blonde, there are gentler dyes, though.


 Thank you I didn't even think about that. Do the chemicals really damage the hair? I have a unique strawberry red hair color so I have never even thought about dyeing it. So I have no experience with this.


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## Tim

Well, it is good for a young lady (but not a young man) to recognize that there is something special about her (his) hair:



> 1Co 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.



If you decide against dying hair, perhaps because of this verse (I am not saying either way, because I haven't thought about it):



> 1Ti 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;



...then at least you can in some other way encourage a Biblical view that a woman's hair is beautiful and special.

---------- Post added at 01:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:45 PM ----------

So, it sounds like you have a good opportunity here to encourage your daughter with the deeper principle.


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## jwright82

Tim said:


> Well, it is good for a young lady (but not a young man) to recognize that there is something special about her (his) hair:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 1Co 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If you decide against dying hair, perhaps because of this verse (I am not saying either way, because I haven't thought about it):
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 1Ti 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> ...then at least you can in some other way encourage a Biblical view that a woman's hair is beautiful and special.
> 
> ---------- Post added at 01:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:45 PM ----------
> 
> So, it sounds like you have a good opportunity here to encourage your daughter with the deeper principle.
Click to expand...

 
Thank you very much. I tell her all the time how beautiful she is and how beautiful her hair is.


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## Scottish Lass

jwright82 said:


> [/COLOR]
> 
> 
> Scottish Lass said:
> 
> 
> 
> Simply because of the chemicals involved, I'd suggest she wait, whether she wants a professional or to do it at home. For anything other than blonde, there are gentler dyes, though.
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you I didn't even think about that. Do the chemicals really damage the hair? I have a unique strawberry red hair color so I have never even thought about dyeing it. So I have no experience with this.
Click to expand...

 
Peroxide and its cousins (the only ways to go blonde I know of) are pretty harsh--it's basically bleach. When one does it too often or too rapidly, the hair becomes dry and brittle. I would guess her scalp is too sensitive at her age even to do it occasionally.


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## jwright82

Scottish Lass said:


> jwright82 said:
> 
> 
> 
> [/COLOR]
> 
> 
> Scottish Lass said:
> 
> 
> 
> Simply because of the chemicals involved, I'd suggest she wait, whether she wants a professional or to do it at home. For anything other than blonde, there are gentler dyes, though.
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you I didn't even think about that. Do the chemicals really damage the hair? I have a unique strawberry red hair color so I have never even thought about dyeing it. So I have no experience with this.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Peroxide and its cousins (the only ways to go blonde I know of) are pretty harsh--it's basically bleach. When one does it too often or too rapidly, the hair becomes dry and brittle. I would guess her scalp is too sensitive at her age even to do it occasionally.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much. I don't know if her mother knows this stuff buit I will pass this along.


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## christiana

For years it seemed my favorite word was 'NO' and with no added explanation either!
Where and what is family leadership to our young people today? If you're not leading then who will they be following? Children are born sinners and need much guidance to come to know the value of truth, honesty and what sin looks like. To the young it appears as the fancies of their peers and in their desire to be like them! Clear direction to proper heroes and the values set forth by Christ are of ultimate value! The things of this world are passing away and their affections must be guided to the eternal! Who will be doing it for your children if you're not?
Oh, by the way. She can dye her hair when she is 20 and moves out on her own, unless by then she has come to love the ways of the Lord and chooses not to dye!!


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## jwright82

Joshua said:


> In case folks can't tell, I'm not _really_ advocating 1.75 yr old kids dye their hair. They should be _at least_ 2.018.


 Thanks that makes a big difference. I always get confused by the whole numbers the decimals realy clear it up for me.

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christiana said:


> For years it seemed my favorite word was 'NO' and with no added explanation either!
> Where and what is family leadership to our young people today? If you're not leading then who will they be following? Children are born sinners and need much guidance to come to know the value of truth, honesty and what sin looks like. To the young it appears as the fancies of their peers and in their desire to be like them! Clear direction to proper heroes and the values set forth by Christ are of ultimate value! The things of this world are passing away and their affections must be guided to the eternal! Who will be doing it for your children if you're not?
> Oh, by the way. She can dye her hair when she is 20 and moves out on her own, unless by then she has come to love the ways of the Lord and chooses not to dye!!


Sounds good! I always jokingly/seriously tell her that she can do what she wants when she hits 18!


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## sastark

I have daughters (though younger than yours). I would encourage her:

1. That the way God made her is beautiful.
2. That if she dies her hair once, she will have to keep dying it to prevent the roots from showing.
3. That, as mentioned above, the chemicals used to dye hair can result in damage to the hair, especially the bleaching process.

But, my emphasis would be on #1.


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## raekwon

christiana said:


> Oh, by the way. She can dye her hair when she is 20 and moves out on her own, unless by then she has come to love the ways of the Lord and chooses not to dye!!


 
Right, because *no one* who loves the ways of the Lord would choose to dye her (or his) hair. ;-)


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## JBaldwin

In addition to the chemicals damaging the hair, it is also not good for the brain (yes, I know that sounds crazy). It is best to stay away from artifical stuff on the head. If your daughter wants to lighen her hair, she can do what I and my sisters did, we put lemon juice in our hair. It did no damage, and added a nice shine. We also used to put a raw egg on our hair for conditioning, and tea if we wanted it to be a bit darker. It really didn't change the color, but it did give the hair a nice shine.


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## O'GodHowGreatThouArt

I personally do not see an issue with this. However, like everything else, there are guidelines. Since this pertains to the subject of beauty, I find this verse to be most relevant.



Romans 12:2 ESV said:


> Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.


 


JBaldwin said:


> In addition to the chemicals damaging the hair, it is also not good for the brain (yes, I know that sounds crazy). It is best to stay away from artifical stuff on the head. If your daughter wants to lighen her hair, she can do what I and my sisters did, we put lemon juice in our hair. It did no damage, and added a nice shine. We also used to put a raw egg on our hair for conditioning, and tea if we wanted it to be a bit darker. It really didn't change the color, but it did give the hair a nice shine.


 
Where is the throwing up emoticon when you need it? I don't think I have to mention how disgusting that sounds.


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## JennyG

Don't let her!
Not as long as you have the authority to prevent it, anyway - Anna and everybody are right, you can't lighten hair without nasty savage chemicals which are terribly bad for it. Impress that fact on her, and if she's really disappointed, suggest something gentler (like henna) "when you're in your teens" . Hopefully by then she will have thought better...


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## he beholds

(I dye my hair. I love the ways of the Lord.) 

Anyway, I would think that seven is too young mainly because I would think there is some reason that she wants to dye her hair that needs to be addressed, but that she may be even too young to express. I can't see a seven year old just wanting to do it for fun. Is she trying to look older? cooler? prettier? I would want to address the heart issue. However, I have always dyed my hair (many colors of the rainbow) and I don't think expressing one's self in such a way is un-Christian--I would just want to be sure to get at the WHY behind the dye. And, as was mentioned above, dyeing hair is a commitment. (Trust me, as I long to have my natural hair color back just so I can stop dyeing it...)


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## Scottish Lass

Full disclosure--I dyed my hair auburn for years, and Tim prefers it that way. The only reason I stopped was that it thinned as my thyroid got out of whack and the thinning was slightly more noticeable. Vanity, complete vanity. I have no problem with adults dying their hair; my concern was for the health and safety of such a young child.


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## Andres

I suspect this may have something to do with why a 7-year old would want to dye their hair blonde.


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## Jack K

The rule with our daughter is that once she hits puberty, she will be allowed to decide for herself about such things as dying hair, makeup, piercings, etc. It helps her to know the day is coming when she'll be able to do that, and she's accepted the rule as reasonable.

I'm hoping she'll decide to forego most of that stuff, but my intent is to pick my battles and hair/makeup/piercings is not one I expect will be worth fighting at that age.


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## Tripel

Jack K said:


> I'm hoping she'll decide to forego most of that stuff, but my intent is to pick my battles and hair/makeup/piercings is not one I expect will be worth fighting at that age.


 
My feeling exactly.


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## Mephibosheth

Andres said:


> I suspect this may have something to do with why a 7-year old would want to dye their hair blonde.



That's a wig, Andrew. C'mon. You should really pay more attention when you watch that show.


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## AThornquist

It's all very simple. 7 days of creation x age of accountability - 30, the age Jesus began his ministry / 7 x 70, the number of times you ought to forgive offenders + 1000 year reign / 7 dispensations. So, it looks like the fall has disallowed us to reach such an esteemed opportunity. 

Theological issues ignored, this rule of thumb seems about right.


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## ubermadchen

JBaldwin said:


> In addition to the chemicals damaging the hair, it is also not good for the brain (yes, I know that sounds crazy). It is best to stay away from artifical stuff on the head. If your daughter wants to lighen her hair, she can do what I and my sisters did, we put lemon juice in our hair. It did no damage, and added a nice shine. We also used to put a raw egg on our hair for conditioning, and tea if we wanted it to be a bit darker. It really didn't change the color, but it did give the hair a nice shine.



Really? Those things work? I've heard about mayonnaise and coconut oil but never lemon juice. I may have to try that. And I love the Lord too! 

Jwright, perhaps your daughter just wants to play dress up? Get her a wig and perhaps that will satisfy her curiosity.


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## Grace Alone

Yeah, she's been looking at those Disney Princesses and one has platinum blond hair. Get her a dress up princess costume with a blond wig. You just have to say NO when a young child asks something like this.

I told our daughter that she could have her hair highlighted when she was earning a paycheck and could afford to have it done right! So she did it when she was about 22! After doing it and having it touched up once, she saw how much trouble it was to keep it natural looking, so she had the highlights toned down and then let it grow out.

Remember this answer for the future: "You can do _______ when you grow up and can pay for it yourself." That comes in handy often!


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## jwright82

Andres said:


> I suspect this may have something to do with why a 7-year old would want to dye their hair blonde.


 Just wanted to clarify I do not let her watch hanna montana!


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## Skyler

I can't believe all you worldly people would actually die your hair.


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## jwright82

ubermadchen said:


> JBaldwin said:
> 
> 
> 
> In addition to the chemicals damaging the hair, it is also not good for the brain (yes, I know that sounds crazy). It is best to stay away from artifical stuff on the head. If your daughter wants to lighen her hair, she can do what I and my sisters did, we put lemon juice in our hair. It did no damage, and added a nice shine. We also used to put a raw egg on our hair for conditioning, and tea if we wanted it to be a bit darker. It really didn't change the color, but it did give the hair a nice shine.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Really? Those things work? I've heard about mayonnaise and coconut oil but never lemon juice. I may have to try that. And I love the Lord too!
> 
> Jwright, perhaps your daughter just wants to play dress up? Get her a wig and perhaps that will satisfy her curiosity.
Click to expand...

 
I'll try to post a picture of her in a blond wig!

---------- Post added at 07:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:09 PM ----------

Heres blond.
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos...48806511362_1565450201_30543573_3832922_n.jpg

Heres regular.
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos...86987637203_1303670940_30472477_3499281_n.jpg


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## mosesw

he beholds said:


> (I dye my hair. I love the ways of the Lord.)
> 
> Is she trying to look older? cooler? prettier? I would want to address the heart issue.


 
I totally agree. I will rather look at this issue from the perspective of 'motive.' This is a great moment of ministry to a 7-year old girl. Perhaps she just wants it for fun. Perhaps she does not like her hair color and thinks blondie is more attractive. I think God creates us in different forms and in different shapes according to his sovereign will. What is more important is that God creates us in His own image. That counts more than your shape or color of your hair or even your general appearance.


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## jwright82

Let me know if the pictures arn't working.


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## calgal

There are dyes you can buy at a beauty supply shop that are short acting (check with her mom and school before doing this: there may be a dress code issue). They are usually bright colored or get her a wig. Little girls love to playact and this may be one more way of doing this.


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## Scottish Lass

jwright82 said:


> Let me know if the pictures arn't working.


 
They worked for me. She is so cute!


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## ubermadchen

Cute pics, Jwright! Wigs are great things! When I was her age, I wanted to be, Ariel the little mermaid, when I grew up. So naturally, the first step was to have red hair. My mom got me a red wig to satisfy my curiosity. Little tiny Asian girls don't belong in bright red wigs. And so ended my dreams of becoming a mermaid.


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## kvanlaan

> The rule with our daughter is that *once she hits puberty*, she will be allowed to decide for herself about such things as dying hair, makeup, piercings, etc. It helps her to know the day is coming when she'll be able to do that, and she's accepted the rule as reasonable.



Sorry, but there's no way. A 13-year-old deciding about makeup, what color hair, etc. is (In my humble opinion) unwise.


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## Romans 8 Verse 28

Tim said:


> Well, it is good for a young lady (but not a young man) to recognize that there is something special about her (his) hair:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 1Co 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If you decide against dying hair, perhaps because of this verse (I am not saying either way, because I haven't thought about it):
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 1Ti 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> ...then at least you can in some other way encourage a Biblical view that a woman's hair is beautiful and special.
> 
> ---------- Post added at 01:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:45 PM ----------
> 
> So, it sounds like you have a good opportunity here to encourage your daughter with the deeper principle.
Click to expand...


A very lovely post Tim! I appreciate you going to the Scriptures for your answer.


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## JBaldwin

Yes, the lemon juice on the hair really did work. I think it what it did was strip the soap build up and the citric acid made it more easy for the hair to lighten when we went out in the sun. 

We wanted to dye our hair and get our ears pierced when I was a teen, and my father's response was this: "I'm responsible for what happens to you until you're 18, and I'm not going to be responsible for holes in your ears or damage from hair dye. When you're 18, I'll not say thing anything." 

On my 18th birthday, I pierced my ears, and my father said nothing.


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