# Children leaving the home



## satz

Any ideas on what is the biblical perspective on the modern day idea of children moving out of home after they grow up?

Is there any biblical duty for children to stay with their parents until marriage? Or for parents to keep their adult children at home?

Does this change at all depending on the gender of the child?

Or if the parents are believers or unbelievers?


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## gwine

Keep those answers coming! I have a 24 year old son and am desiring a biblical perspective as well.


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## Peter

This might support that idea:

Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.


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## satz

> _Originally posted by Peter_
> This might support that idea:
> 
> Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
> Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.



Thanks Peter

However, i was wondering more about a situation where the adult child is for whatever reason still unmarried and desires to 'move out' so to speak.


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## SolaScriptura

> _Originally posted by satz_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Peter_
> This might support that idea:
> 
> Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
> Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks Peter
> 
> However, i was wondering more about a situation where the adult child is for whatever reason still unmarried and desires to 'move out' so to speak.
Click to expand...


David appears to have lived apart from his parents a long time before he ever married...
Jesus didn't live at home...
Paul didn't either...
There's no indication that Timothy was married...

What age/criteria define adulthood? Furthermore, at what point does a child cease being under the headship of the parent? I truly believe that this is somewhat culturally relative.


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## PuritanCovenanter

It all depends on what God wants for the individual. Christ is King. I have seen extremes where people try to control their children long into adulthood when the now adult doesn't get married. I believe this cripples the psyche of adult who is not married and still is ruled by it's parent. Individuals need to learn to obey Christ's will for their life. 

(I have seen some who use Bill Gothard material do this. I am not sure that is what was intended by the seminar.)

Remember Christ weeping over Jerusalem. He desired to gather the children but the parents wouldn't allow it. He still gathered his Elect children. Even against the will of the Jerusalem.



> (Luk 13:34-35)
> O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, which killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee; how often would I have gathered thy children together, as a hen doth gather her brood under her wings, and ye would not!
> Behold, your house is left unto you desolate: and verily I say unto you, Ye shall not see me, until the time come when ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.





> 1Co 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.



[Edited on 11-20-2005 by puritancovenanter]


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## BrianBowman

I believe there is certainly a principal of young men, while honorning mother & father, must at some point learn to earn an income in preparation to provide for a future family or simply be a blessing to to others (the poor, missionaries, etc.) should they remain single for a pro-longed period of time. This includes learning the responsibility of bugeting and saving (-and many of us who did not learn this can testify of the tough consequences that result, often taking most of our later adult lives to deal with). Of course this can be done while still living at home.

It also depends on the parents and children involved. Biblically parents hold the primary resonsiblity for training their children. One of the things, in my opinion, the Church needs to face is the "moral/spiritual orphans" that exist (many in their late teens and even 20's, [30's]?) due to their parents neglected this responsiblity to "raise them in the fear and nuture of the Lord". I've said it before and it's absolutely true - much of the divorce and devastation of homes that we seen is a direct result of this occurring trans-generation.


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## Readhead

Those friends of mine (guys) who live at home do so for all the wrong reasons. The more mature ones seem to be the ones living more independants lives - yet they still balance family life with their folks. One cooks a meal one day a week for his parents. The other one who is living about forty miles away from his folks goes home every weekend and helps out at home and at church. 
I left home because of work and am now back in the area but with my own flat. I still visit most evenings and spend some of Sunday with my parents. My parents still give advice and my Dad helps me a lot. I like to think that my parents enjoy having the place to themselves now - but that they enjoy having me home and catching up with me.
The one thing I miss is family worship. It is important with a Christian kid to keep in touch with them in a spiritual and family sense. If they aren't living far away have them round one night a week; or on Sunday; have a time of prayer with them and worship. With all children keep up spiritual accountability wherever they are. 
You have a problem if your kid is leaving because they want to rebel against a christian upbringing and parental authority. If that is the case PRAY.
But leaving home is not always rebellion. It can often just be the next, approrpriate, God honouring stage in their lives.
But there should be no pressure. I have a contact in Australia who has made the decision to stay at home and support his widowed mother. That is a very sweet, unselfish and honorable thing to do. 
There are practical reasons to stay at home - which is why before any young person leaves home it would be good to do a thorough budget with them so that they know their incomings and what their outgoings are going to be. A bit of a reality check so that they don't go a bit mad with the freedom. But in the end the freedom can be good or bad the same as being at home can be good or bad. Each situation needs wisdom and prayer. Each situation can glorify God. I don't think the bible says yes or no on this but expects you and your child to pray for guidance.
Living out of the home has been invaluable to me. At the very least I am this weekend going to have to do some DIY on my own - but I still might call in my Dad if I can. Single females can still do that without loosing face 

Readhead


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## puritangirl

I am 24 and I moved back home because I became convicted that females should be living under a "head." There is a reason that God tells us to be homemakers; things happen when our feet "stray far from home." It is looked at as a negative thing in Scripture, as far as I can tell, and I have not seen Scriptural reasoning for a woman to move out of her father's home. Even if she is going to school in another state or something, I would be cautious. It is my conviction that women should not go to school far from where their father lives if they can help it (and they usually can). Men, on the other hand, need to be men, whether they are married or not. I don't think its a big deal if a man moves out of his father's household, unless of course the decision is a foolish one financially or socially. I have seen that bachelor pads offer much opportunity for sin, not to mention I have seen cases in which each young man wants to be his "own" head, causing numerous fights among the housemates. If someone wants to move out of the home to aid in a selfish, "single" lifestyle, then I would disagree with the motives. Living out of the home allows one to function outside of the God-ordained family unit (which entails having to die to self daily for others); in a single person's household, no one is there to hold that person accountable or give that person someone to help/serve/sharpen as iron. I am not saying it is always wrong for people to move out of the home, women or men (I cannot make such a wide-brush statement), but for the most part, I think it is best for women to stay in the home, and men to start homes of their own. In Scripture we are given numerous examples of single men who live on their own...as long as the motives are right, I don't see that as a problem! This is just my two cents - I think it can vary from situation to situation.


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