# Should we as Christians be the main group adopting children?



## Brother John (Jan 20, 2009)

Should Christians in America be the largest group adopting? 

Should our churches be encouraging every Christian family that can to adopt a child? 

Should the church work together to make adoption possible financially for believers?

If this is true should Christians focus on adopting American born or foreign born children (or both)?

This question came to mind as I heard a radio commercial today at work that referred to a civil gov't website for adopting children, especially older children. We are close friends to a family that adopted three children and they have caused my wife and I to discuss adoption which we are open to in the future if the Lord wills. The commercial brought to mind a story that a pastor told of the early church in Rome. As was the practice a father in Rome could choose to leave a newborn out in the elements to die. It was punishable by death if you were to take the child in yourself. Apparently from his story the Christians were "adopting" these children on a large scale, causing there families and the "church" to grow quickly. It became so widespread that the non-Christian Romans demanded that the state stop punishing the Christians for "adopting" these children that were left to die. (On a side note he also said that they did this with the elderly that were left to die.) Should the church work together to help each other adopt the discarded children of the world? I imagine if the entire Biblical church determined to adopt children, even if it was only one per household, we as the church would put a major dent into the problem of orphaned children. 

I would like to here every ones thoughts on this or anything I have overlooked, especially those of you who have adopted children yourselves.


----------



## Honor (Jan 20, 2009)

if it were finacially possible I would in a heart beat


----------



## Grace Alone (Jan 20, 2009)

We personally applied James 1:27 which resulted in our adopting a child. I think it is a little shallow for American Christians to speak so much against abortion without being willing to take in orphaned children if they are able. 

Do I think all are called to do so? No.

Do I think many could do so and just turn their eyes in another direction? Yes.

Let me add that I prayed for an elect child. I fully believe that adoption into Christian homes is one way God gathers His elect and allows them to hear the gospel and join the covenant family.

Jessica, there is a $10,000 tax credit and there are lots of adoption grants out there. I personally believe that churches should help a Christian family with adoption expenses, if needed.

Our brother on this forum is a great example of God's miraculous provision for adoption expenses. But they made a huge sacrifice before the Lord revealed the gift. I would not let the adoption expenses hold you back from adopting as long as you can afford the extra mouth to feed.


----------



## FenderPriest (Jan 20, 2009)

Blev3rd said:


> Should Christians in America be the largest group adopting?
> 
> Should our churches be encouraging every Christian family that can to adopt a child?
> 
> ...



Yes, yes, yes, and both. We haven't adopted, but it's "in the books" so to speak as something we're doing in the next 10 years. In my church, there are many families who've adopted from many different places. The majority are infants. I think married Christian couples should simply set it as a major priority to think about for their families. I shy (just barely) of saying Christian families _need_ to do this - they should give strong consideration. We should also consider adopting older children. They're likely from broken homes and abused backgrounds, but we're not called to avoid pain. Rather, what an active picture of Christ to embrace the pain of bringing abused children into our homes! John Pipers messages on adoption were what won my wife over to making adoption a priority.


----------



## MrMerlin777 (Jan 20, 2009)

Certainly it is a noble and praise worthy thing to adopt if one can.

Not every Christian family will be able to do this of course but those who are led to do so and can should in my opinion.

Christian families who can, also should be having babies too. But that's another thread entirely.


----------



## ReformedWretch (Jan 20, 2009)

As a childcare worker of 15 years I have some very strong opinions on this. I believe Christians (The Church) should be RUNNING the childcare industry. It's a huge industry (children that have no place to go) and it's run by the State, secular people, and liberal church groups by a large majority. There are some solid Churches in the game but not many at all. 

I have a dream to one day be able to influence the Church to get involved in this and to maybe one day even be the majority within the industry.


----------



## MrMerlin777 (Jan 20, 2009)

PuritanBouncer said:


> As a childcare worker of 15 years I have some very strong opinions on this. I believe Christians (The Church) should be RUNNING the childcare industry. It's a huge industry (children that have no place to go) and it's run by the State, secular people, and liberal church groups by a large majority. There are some solid Churches in the game but not many at all.
> 
> I have a dream to one day be able to influence the Church to get involved in this and to maybe one day even be the majority within the industry.




A noble dream brother. May it one day by God's grace come to fruition.


----------



## lynnie (Jan 20, 2009)

The bible speaks of caring for orphans as true religion. But remember that right now many foreign nations are stopping adoptions ( Romania, Guatemala, etc). Some kids in orphanges or foster care are not adoptable- maybe the parents are in jail or on drugs and the kids got taken, but they are not able to be adopted. So it is complicated. 

There many callings in the body of Christ, and even as an adoptive parent I don't want to say everybody should do it, anymore than I like people telling me every Christian has to picket abortion clinics or join some group to fight the sex slave trade. Collectively the church has to care for the helpless and fight evil, but the holy spirit has to lead each one of us. It can help just as much to send money to the Christian organizations working with foreign orphans and street kids; the need for workers and finances is staggering. But we don't...we get new carpets and go on more retreats. I am not sure our American church priorites are right. 

It is a huge financial investment- not only is it over 20,000 and maybe 25,000to adopt, it can also limit or entirely stop the wife's ability to earn any money. Our parents paid for Christian school for our four biological sons, but if they had not, I would have wanted to earn money. I have to homeschool because of our girl's academic issues (at the strong exhortation of the Christian school she used to attend) so its potentially a huge financial loss if a wife can't work. We have no retirement at ages 57/54 ( not that I care). But there are a lot of things to think about and pray about.

I'd like to see churches start putting a lot of money into Christian school, that is certainly a need. 

Definitely something for us all to keep in prayer, thanks for the post.


----------



## Grace Alone (Jan 20, 2009)

lynnie said:


> The bible speaks of caring for orphans as true religion. But remember that right now many foreign nations are stopping adoptions ( Romania, Guatemala, etc). Some kids in orphanges or foster care are not adoptable- maybe the parents are in jail or on drugs and the kids got taken, but they are not able to be adopted. So it is complicated.
> 
> There many callings in the body of Christ, and even as an adoptive parent I don't want to say everybody should do it, anymore than I like people telling me every Christian has to picket abortion clinics or join some group to fight the sex slave trade. Collectively the church has to care for the helpless and fight evil, but the holy spirit has to lead each one of us. It can help just as much to send money to the Christian organizations working with foreign orphans and street kids; the need for workers and finances is staggering. But we don't...we get new carpets and go on more retreats. I am not sure our American church priorites are right.
> It is a huge financial investment- not only is it over 20,000 and maybe 25,000to adopt, it can also limit or entirely stop the wife's ability to earn any money. Our parents paid for Christian school for our four biological sons, but if they had not, I would have wanted to earn money. I have to homeschool because of our girl's academic issues (at the strong exhortation of the Christian school she used to attend) so its potentially a huge financial loss if a wife can't work. We have no retirement at ages 57/54 ( not that I care). But there are a lot of things to think about and pray about.
> ...



Oh, Lynnie, we have a lot of thoughts in common!!!! And how about Christian schools that didn't just want the "top" kids???!!!


----------



## Hippo (Jan 20, 2009)

It is frightening that in the UK I can see more and more pressure for Christians to be barred from adopting as raising a child in the Faith is often now seen as a form of abuse.


----------



## Pergamum (Jan 20, 2009)

I am trying to adopt in my local context but the laws of the counry where I am make it almost impossible...a crying shame (literally) and it infuriates me because there are so many needy kids.


----------



## MrMerlin777 (Jan 20, 2009)

Hippo said:


> It is frightening that in the UK I can see more and more pressure for Christians to be barred from adopting as raising a child in the Faith is often now seen as a form of abuse.


----------



## OPC'n (Jan 20, 2009)

Adopting from living parents or ones who have died? I think we should be spreading the Gospel to the living parents so that they can have a change of heart and then take care of their children. Trying to adopt all the children who need a home is unrealistic. We need to fix the problem which is unbelief in Christ Jesus. I think we should be on the forefront of adopting those children who do not have parents.


----------



## satz (Jan 20, 2009)

Blev3rd said:


> Should Christians in America be the largest group adopting?
> 
> Should our churches be encouraging every Christian family that can to adopt a child?
> 
> ...



I post this with a little trepidation because I am aware it might sound selfish, but does the bible in the first place teach that Christians have any general duty to adopt? It honestly does seem more of a matter of liberty to me.

The bible speaks of caring for the fatherless, but when we go to the OT to look at how that is practically accomplished, it is through things like treating them fairly in judgment or making it easier for them to work, as in Deuteronomy 24:17-21.

I can’t at the moment think of any bible examples of adoption save for Esther, but for her there was a previous relationship between her parents and Mordecai (she was his uncle’s daughter). 

So, as I have said many times, maybe I am missing something, but I do not really see that the bible teaches a “duty” for Christians to adopt.


----------



## kvanlaan (Jan 21, 2009)

OK, here we go.

As the father of six adopted children, I would say that yes, "we" should be adopting. Likewise, "we" should be heading off into the jungle and preaching the Word to the Lost. Likewise, "we" should be stopping abortion on all fronts, and a bazillion other things. Not all are called to do all these things. The Lord has not led me to run off to the jungles of Southeast Asia, nor has He led me to enter Seminary. But these are all the arena of the Christian, just not _all_ these for _all_ Christians. 

And yes, I do believe that the church should support those who adopt. It is the longest-term emotional commitment you can make outside of marriage here on earth and yet it is the most natural thing in the world in view of our relationship with Christ. If someone is willing to take up the flag, then by all means let's give them a hand. Do we agree that foreign missions are necessary and then refuse to support missionaries outright? No, that's a preposterous notion. Neither should it be the case with adoption.

Jessica, if you are being led that way, take the plunge. You may have to give until you have nothing left and then possibly give a good deal more (and that's just the financial end of it, never mind the emotional), but it is _so_ worth it.

$.02

PS - it was me.

http://www.puritanboard.com/f65/these-sorts-things-dont-happen-people-like-us-35800/

Still kinda in shock over it on the one hand, but in view of other things we've seen in our adoption saga over nine years, it's sorta par for the course. He is good.

-----Added 1/21/2009 at 12:12:36 EST-----



> it can also limit or entirely stop the wife's ability to earn any money



We have almost always had only one income (and not a great one at that - in fact our toughest times as a family were during the time of our greatest paycheque prosperity). 

He will provide.

-----Added 1/21/2009 at 12:17:59 EST-----



> I post this with a little trepidation because I am aware it might sound selfish, but does the bible in the first place teach that Christians have any general duty to adopt? It honestly does seem more of a matter of liberty to me.



Agreed. I actually had this discussion with Duncan (another PB buddy in China). He asked the same question and I simply think that so long as you are not called to it, support it, and that is enough.


----------



## satz (Jan 21, 2009)

Thanks, Kevin.

I guess my next question would be, where does the bible present adoption as a duty for “us” or Christians in general? The bible speaks of caring for the fatherless, but as I said in my first post, the bible also defines for us what that means.

Regarding financial help for those who adopt, I believe the church should always help the needy in its midst, whether the needs come from natural or adopted families. However, it seems to me it is a different question whether someone who has not yet adopted but whose financial situation cannot support it should go ahead and adopt, and whether the church is obliged to offer assistance to make an adoption possible.

In a case of natural conception I think it can well be said that as this is God’s providence the church must assist if a family is unable to make ends meet despite its best efforts. It does seem to me however, that it is a different situation when it involves voluntary adoption.


----------



## he beholds (Jan 21, 2009)

I think that local churches, especially those that have a lot of money, should have an adoption fund that is available every year. My husband and I really would take in a baby and adopt him if we didn't have to pay. I know that might sound worldly, but we do not have 20K. We may never have 20K saved. We almost have no K's, actually. If we did, we might want to buy a house (so this also might never happen). We are happy to birth a lot of children, but we would love to adopt some, as well. 
I don't think we'd have a problem caring for the child, financially, once we got him, but it's the getting that is very nearly impossible. And I know, again, that this might be worldly. 

If anyone ever knows someone who is thinking of abortion, please send them (or at least their baby) our way. 

That being said, my best friend and her husband are also on the poorer end of the spectrum, and they are adopting a baby boy to be born in March (DV)!! Her husband, Matt, is running the Pittsburgh Marathon as a way to hopefully raise funds. And they also are taking out loans. 
Here's his blog, with data about the number of churches versus the number of orphans.


----------



## LawrenceU (Jan 21, 2009)

Jessi, I know exactly how you feel. We would readily adopt, and have checked into it several times. The vast amount of money involved, even working with the State and special needs children, has always prevented us from doing so.


----------



## Scottish Lass (Jan 21, 2009)

What about your local crisis pregnancy centers or maternity homes? Our local maternity homes provides free adoptions (except lawyer fees).


----------



## kvanlaan (Jan 21, 2009)

For people who are worried about the cost only (and are OK with the rest of the rollercoaster ride), there are lots of online sources for adoption grants, there are churches, fundraising activities, etc. I know people here who held all sorts of fund raisers to pay for their adoptions. I also know those who took out loans. Just let it be the state/USCIS/agency that says it is financially not viable. Don't sit there and think "I don't have the cash, I'll never be able to do it, so I won't even bother."

Here's a WOF thought-of-the-day for you: If you don't walk to the beach and stand by the water, the sea will never part for you.


----------



## he beholds (Jan 21, 2009)

kvanlaan said:


> For people who are worried about the cost only (and are OK with the rest of the rollercoaster ride), there are lots of online sources for adoption grants, there are churches, fundraising activities, etc. I know people here who held all sorts of fund raisers to pay for their adoptions. I also know those who took out loans. Just let it be the state/USCIS/agency that says it is financially not viable. Don't sit there and think "I don't have the cash, I'll never be able to do it, so I won't even bother."
> 
> Here's a WOF thought-of-the-day for you: If you don't walk to the beach and stand by the water, the sea will never part for you.



Thank you.

WOF=?


----------



## kvanlaan (Jan 21, 2009)

WOF = Word of Faith, the name-it-and-claim it gang.


----------



## Pergamum (Jan 22, 2009)

kvanlaan said:


> OK, here we go.
> 
> As the father of six adopted children, I would say that yes, "we" should be adopting. Likewise, "we" should be heading off into the jungle and preaching the Word to the Lost. Likewise, "we" should be stopping abortion on all fronts, and a bazillion other things. Not all are called to do all these things. The Lord has not led me to run off to the jungles of Southeast Asia, nor has He led me to enter Seminary. But these are all the arena of the Christian, just not _all_ these for _all_ Christians.
> 
> ...





Your linking of foreign missions and adoption made my wheels turn....

Many many US churches give money every month supporting crisis pregnancy centers. That is well and good; but I would argue that if we took some of this money and helped motivated parents to adopt unwanted children, this would also be an effective strategy and an even more effective strategy than sinking all the money into cisis pregnancy centers. Also, it would serve to remind church members that evangelism begins at home and be a real reminder to church bodies that we are to parent with a missionary's heart.


As far as I am concerned, if there is a committed Christian parent out there that desires to adopt but cannot afford it, they should NEVER lack for funds but their church bodies ought to treat them the same as they treat their missionaries, since they are bringing souls under the preaching of the Gospel.



I would go farther than saying that Christians ought to be adopting, but I would propose adoption as a missionary and outreach strategy for churches.

I would even say that if a situation arises where a child needs a home and you can adopt them and no one else will (or at least no other Christians) that we may be bound to try to adopt that child. To have an opportunity to do good and not do good seems quite a neglect. I GRIEVE that we are not able to adopt in our local context.


----------

