# Common sayings that you despise



## SmokingFlax

The other day I heard (once again) a saying that I totally cannot stand. I've heard it so often from so many different places that it makes me wonder at the power of a simple phrase -or perhaps more accurately, the spirit behind the sentiment.

Anyways, the saying is this:

"I'm not religious but I'm real spiritual."

Or something along those lines...
It always makes me cringe and I've decided that the next time I hear it I'm going to reply something like this:

"So what you're saying is that you admit to being a proud idolator."

or maybe this:

"What makes you think that you can have God on your own terms rather than by the way that He commanded?"

So my question is, are there any other phrases that you all hear out there that just rub you the wrong way every time you hear them?


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## PuritanCovenanter

I hate the saying... "Christianity isn't a religion it is a relationship."


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## Average Joey

A friend of mine once said to me as I was evangelizing to him "Joe,there is a time and a place for God."

"God loves everybody"
"Jesus loves everybody"
"You became a Christian?Well,good for you."
"Judge not...."Satan`s favorite verse for ammunition to use against the illiterate(non Bible reading) Christian.
"I`m a good person."
"The God of Christianity and the God of Islam are one in the same."

Here`s a quote I was once fond of saying:

"I don`t believe God would send anybody to hell."

[Edited on 8-12-2005 by Average Joey]


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## Average Joey

> _Originally posted by puritancovenanter_
> I hate the saying... "Christianity isn't a religion it is a relationship."



I don`t think the saying is really bad,it`s just over-used so much.Just like "What would Jesus do?"

We can use the word relationship in such a common and weak way.It`s just like the word love.


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## biblelighthouse

> _Originally posted by puritancovenanter_
> I hate the saying... "Christianity isn't a religion it is a relationship."



Why do you hate it?


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## biblelighthouse

I can't stand the hymn that goes, "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is calling . . ."

It wrongly paints Jesus as a helpless person merely wooing people to come to Him, just hoping that some people will respond to His tender call. Arminian Hogwash!


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## Arch2k

> _Originally posted by biblelighthouse_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by puritancovenanter_
> I hate the saying... "Christianity isn't a religion it is a relationship."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Why do you hate it?
Click to expand...


Judas had a "relationship" with Jesus. Christianity is first and formost about what Christ did for his people. This happened completely outside of you.


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## biblelighthouse

I just thought of another one I hate . . . I can't stand the southern gospel song that goes, "I kept on searchin' 'till I found the King of Kings".

Baloney! None of us searched for Him. We are His bitter enemies until HE searches us out and changes our hearts.

Once again, it's ARMINIAN HOGWASH!


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## Arch2k

"Just let go, and let God"


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## biblelighthouse

> _Originally posted by Jeff_Bartel_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by biblelighthouse_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by puritancovenanter_
> I hate the saying... "Christianity isn't a religion it is a relationship."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Why do you hate it?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Judas had a "relationship" with Jesus. Christianity is first and formost about what Christ did for his people. This happened completely outside of you.
Click to expand...


That is a very good point.

On the other hand, I understand how the saying could be used in a correct way (the way I try to use it occasionally) . . . When I say it, I just mean that a key essence of Christianity is an intimate love relationship with the Saviour, as opposed to cold "religiosity" that is bent on mere external motions. And at least in my mind when I say it, I understand that that intimate relationship was caused by Christ and His work, not by any initiative of mine.

But still, you make a very good point. I can certainly see how someone could twist that "Christianity is a relationship" saying in such a way that it would seem to exclude the centrality of Christ's work. Very good point.

I need to think on that a while.


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## satz

> _Originally posted by biblelighthouse_
> I can't stand the hymn that goes, "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is calling . . ."
> 
> It wrongly paints Jesus as a helpless person merely wooing people to come to Him, just hoping that some people will respond to His tender call. Arminian Hogwash!



hmmm Joseph...

Couldn't this be talking about a situation AFTER conversion? Ie Jesus Christ calling christians to love him more and have a deeper practical relationship with him?

Just thinkin' aloud...


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## VirginiaHuguenot

"I'm tolerant of all things except intolerance."


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## VirginiaHuguenot

> _Originally posted by joshua_
> "like" and "whatever" ya know what I'm sayin'?



Like, whaddaya mean, Josh?


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## heartoflesh

"reaching the unchurched"


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## Arch2k




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## crhoades

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by joshua_
> "like" and "whatever" ya know what I'm sayin'?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Like, whaddaya mean, Josh?
Click to expand...


Hey!!! My wife is from southern California!!! 

I'll never forget one of the first times we talked on the phone and she made a comment about my ever so slight southern accent and I responded that she just said 'like' 7 times in 2 sentences!


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## crhoades

My biggest pet peeve of the moment is people be speaking this way. 

People have quit congugating the verb 'be' from is, am, was, were and now use the word be and take the verb and add an 'ing ending.

You be tripping.
We be posting.
She be coming in late all the time...


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## BobVigneault

Here's one I like!

When synergism is true.

"I did my part in salvation and God did His part."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, I did everything I possibly could to escape Him, and He did the rest."


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## VirginiaHuguenot

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> My biggest pet peeve of the moment is people be speaking this way.
> 
> People have quit congugating the verb 'be' from is, am, was, were and now use the word be and take the verb and add an 'ing ending.
> 
> You be tripping.
> We be posting.
> She be coming in late all the time...



How about Club Nouveau's 'we be jamming'?


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## New wine skin

> _Originally posted by joshua_
> "like" and "whatever" ya know what I'm sayin'?




Like... Your so right Joshua 


The other statement that drives me insane is "I Feel.... (fill in the blank)


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## Arch2k

Salvation is 99% God, 1% you.


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## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by joshua_
> "like" and "whatever" ya know what I'm sayin'?


that credit card commercial about identity theft is hilarious


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## sastark

"Islam is a religion of peace"


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## Augusta

I hate the term "it's all good"  Uh....no it's not. And you hear this alot from people who my hubby says think Jesus is like a southern Cal, pot-head, surfer, spiritual type god. Not the absolute, almighty, immutable God.


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## heartoflesh

"Schizophrenia is normal. Moses was a basket case, after all."


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## Arch2k

"God spoke to me and told me..."

"___ touched my heart"

"I knew it in my head, but not in my heart."

"You can miss heaven by 12 inches"

[Edited on 8-12-2005 by Jeff_Bartel]


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## ReformedWretch

Jesus is my homeboy


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## Augusta

Let's not forget the "_MY_ god is a god of love" crowd. As if we each have our own personal god of our own making.






[Edited on 8-12-2005 by Augusta]


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## Arch2k

> _Originally posted by houseparent_
> Jesus is my homeboy



 Some friend gave me a t-shirt that has a pic of Calvin, and underneath it says "Calvin is my homeboy"


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## heartoflesh

> _Originally posted by Jeff_Bartel_
> Some friend gave me a t-shirt that has a pic of Calvin, and underneath it says "Calvin is my homeboy"



I want that shirt- where'd he get it?


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## Arch2k

> _Originally posted by Rick Larson_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Jeff_Bartel_
> Some friend gave me a t-shirt that has a pic of Calvin, and underneath it says "Calvin is my homeboy"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I want that shirt- where'd he get it?
Click to expand...


I think _she_ had it made through some website. I'll see if I can find out for you. 

Everyone should get one so they could be cool...cool like Calvin.


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## LadyFlynt

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> My biggest pet peeve of the moment is people be speaking this way.
> 
> People have quit congugating the verb 'be' from is, am, was, were and now use the word be and take the verb and add an 'ing ending.
> 
> You be tripping.
> We be posting.
> She be coming in late all the time...



Aww, man! What be wrong wi dat, dog? And you breezy says "like" cause dats, like, where she from, ya know?

 (sorry, picked up from years of hubby working inner city!)

WWJD gets on my nerves due to its overuse and misuse.
Judge ye not (as though this negates the use of discernment)


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## SmokingFlax

Yeah...the "judge not." crowd grates on me too...if they would just read a few more verses they would come to Jesus calling certain people "dogs" and "swine"...

How unspiritual!


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## LadyFlynt

Mennonite phrases that really got to me (us "seekers" used to have a good laugh over these)

We're going trippin' (this meant they were going on a trip from state to state...for us, this would mean going on drugs!)
We were crayonin' (coloring)
It's all (it's all gone) or Is it all?
That was a ferociously friendly dog!
It's burny outside (hot) or It's terribly burny out.

Oh, and any jokes dealing with tractors are typically really dumb.


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## Scott

"*Religion* that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27

I don't care for the "its not religion, its relationship" either. Although I do agree with Joseph that cold formalism is bad and a strong loving relation with God is good. James equates proper religion with something substantive.


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## crhoades

> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> We're going trippin' (this meant they were going on a trip from state to state...for us, this would mean going on drugs!)



I can just see a mennonite wearing a tie-dye t'shirt saying, "The col-ors..."


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## Scott

From the corporate world:


"price point" (means "price"). Eg. What is your price point for getting me to stop using corporate jargon?

impactful. Eg. That program sure was impactful.

"spend" used as a noun. Eg. We need to control spend in this department.

incent (used as a verb meaning to create an incentive). Eg. How can I incent you to speak proper English?


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## Scott

"Oh, and any jokes dealing with tractors are typically really dumb."



As are jokes with animals that speak. Where do you live? I have never heard any of those terms.

[Edited on 8-12-2005 by Scott]


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## heartoflesh

> _Originally posted by Scott_
> "*Religion* that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27
> 
> I don't care for the "its not religion, its relationship" either. Although I do agree with Joseph that cold formalism is bad and a strong loving relation with God is good. James equates proper religion with something substantive.



You would have really enjoyed my first church's motto!


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## biblelighthouse

> _Originally posted by satz_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by biblelighthouse_
> I can't stand the hymn that goes, "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is calling . . ."
> 
> It wrongly paints Jesus as a helpless person merely wooing people to come to Him, just hoping that some people will respond to His tender call. Arminian Hogwash!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hmmm Joseph...
> 
> Couldn't this be talking about a situation AFTER conversion? Ie Jesus Christ calling christians to love him more and have a deeper practical relationship with him?
> 
> Just thinkin' aloud...
Click to expand...



Nope . . . I wish that's all the song was talking about. Here are the full lyrics:



1.	Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling, 
calling for you and for me; 
see, on the portals he's waiting and watching, 
watching for you and for me. 
Refrain:
Come home, come home; 
ye who are weary come home; 
earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling, 
calling, O sinner, come home! 

2.	Why should we tary when Jesus is pleading, 
pleading for you and for me? 
Why should we linger and heed not his mercies, 
mercies for you and for me? 
(Refrain) 

3.	Time is now fleeting, the moments are passing, 
passing from you and from me; 
shadows are gathering, deathbeds are coming, 
coming for you and for me. 
(Refrain) 

4.	O for the wonderful love he has promised, 
promised for you and for me! 
Though we have sinned, he has mercy and pardon, 
pardon for you and for me. 
(Refrain) 




That's an "altar call" song if I ever heard one. I used to love it. But now I can't stand it.


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## LadyFlynt

> _Originally posted by Scott_
> "Oh, and any jokes dealing with tractors are typically really dumb."
> 
> 
> 
> As are jokes with animals that speak. Where do you live? I have never heard any of those terms.
> 
> [Edited on 8-12-2005 by Scott]



Southern Illinois...but they are NOT typical of Southern Illinois. They are specifically typical of mennonite and amish families.


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## LadyFlynt

> _Originally posted by joshua_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Slippery_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by joshua_
> "like" and "whatever" ya know what I'm sayin'?
> 
> 
> 
> that credit card commercial about identity theft is hilarious
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Totally!
Click to expand...


I love those commercials!!!

Another kinda cute one is the "ultrasound" baby threatening to not come out until he's "ten" if mom keeps eating spicy food.


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## Arch2k

> _Originally posted by Jeff_Bartel_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Rick Larson_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Jeff_Bartel_
> Some friend gave me a t-shirt that has a pic of Calvin, and underneath it says "Calvin is my homeboy"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I want that shirt- where'd he get it?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I think _she_ had it made through some website. I'll see if I can find out for you.
> 
> Everyone should get one so they could be cool...cool like Calvin.
Click to expand...


I just talked to her, and she said that she:

1) Found a jpeg of her favorite pic of Calvin 
2) went to http://www.zazzle.com/ and had the t-shirt made with the image and caption underneath. This website allows you to "create your own" t-shirts.

As Starsky would say (Ben Stiller at least)...."Do it"


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## PuritanCovenanter

> _Originally posted by Rick Larson_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Scott_
> "*Religion* that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27
> 
> I don't care for the "its not religion, its relationship" either. Although I do agree with Joseph that cold formalism is bad and a strong loving relation with God is good. James equates proper religion with something substantive.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You would have really enjoyed my first church's motto!
Click to expand...


Experience God-Not Religion.....Oh Come on.

I hate that saying because Christianity is a world religion. When Christians say that they sound stupid. They sound like they don't believe the facts about language. In another Thread Theologicalbooks is discussing epistemology. It is the study of how we know things. I studied it years ago. Christians in general have no idea what they are talking about. Me included. But we don't have to lie about it or make up stuff to emphasize our points. When we do we sound stupid and ignorant.

Here is the definition from the dictionary.

Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or being regarded as creator and governor of the universe. 
A personal or institutionalized system grounded in such belief and worship. 

What is wrong with that definition? We should emphsize the major difference between our God and theirs, but we shouldn't lie about Christianity not being a religion. We destroy our witness about God by trying to emphasize a single truth. God doesn't accept untruthfulness as a witnessing tool.


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## heartoflesh

Randy, I had brought this subject up with the "pastors", and suggested we at least say "false religion". I didn't get too far.


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## Scott

"I hate that saying because Christianity is a world religion."

Good point. It is funny to think of Christianity as one of the "great world relationships."  I can see a college course, "Great World Relationships 101"


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## Scott

Colleen: Please give us one tractor joke. Thanks


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## sastark

> _Originally posted by Scott_
> Colleen: Please give us one tractor joke. Thanks



You hear about the farmer who came home one evening to find his wife had left him? All that she left was a "John Deere" letter.


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## ABondSlaveofChristJesus

I've come to the conclusion that arminian quotes are so bad because they are always emotional charged, and emotional for the sake of being emotional. For example, a major arminian that i used to love is Adrian Rogers.... I started thinking about some of his sermons this morning, and the stories and analogies he'd use would always be emotionally charged. Thus are most arminian quotes: emotionally charged. They are so emotional that its like being on a drug, they love the feeling, lose touch with reality and then float around doctrine.

[Edited on 8-12-2005 by ABondSlaveofChristJesus]


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## turmeric

These are a few of my not-favorite things;

Using "they" and "their" with singular nouns; e.g. a person needs their space.

the verb "to consequate". I'm not kidding, I saw this in a manual for people working with developmentally disabled adults. I went around singing "The consequated cwoss I'd bear" for a while...

All government-speak! (I work for the state of Oregon, I hear a lot of it).


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## Authorised

> _Originally posted by Rick Larson_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Scott_
> "*Religion* that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27
> 
> I don't care for the "its not religion, its relationship" either. Although I do agree with Joseph that cold formalism is bad and a strong loving relation with God is good. James equates proper religion with something substantive.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You would have really enjoyed my first church's motto!
Click to expand...



The gay church around here had a good motto..."By their fruits ye shall know them..."


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## LadyFlynt

Tractor joke:

What did the chicky say before it was run over by a Case (brand of tractor)? Cheap-cheap!

Did you hear about John Deere and AM (some female name brand of tractor) getting married? Yep, they had a son and, boy, was he a Case!

Dumb, dumb, and dumb!!!


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## crhoades

> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> Tractor joke:
> 
> What did the chicky say before it was run over by a Case (brand of tractor)? Cheap-cheap!
> 
> Did you hear about John Deere and AM (some female name brand of tractor) getting married? Yep, they had a son and, boy, was he a Case!
> 
> Dumb, dumb, and dumb!!!



I work for Bridgestone/Firestone in the Off Road Tires (Mining, Quarry, Construction)...I'll email our ag tire folk to see if they have any good tractor jokes...waiting on pins and needles.


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## LadyFlynt

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> I work for Bridgestone/Firestone in the Off Road Tires (Mining, Quarry, Construction)...I'll email our ag tire folk to see if they have any good tractor jokes...waiting on pins and needles.



NOOOO!!!!!!


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## RamistThomist

"You can't legislate morality!"
"But church and state are separate!"


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## VirginiaHuguenot

> _Originally posted by Draught Horse_
> "You can't legislate morality!"
> "But church and state are separate!"


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## RamistThomist

> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> Aww, man! What be wrong wi dat, dog? And you breezy says "like" cause dats, like, where she from, ya know?



Wow, Colleen, that's pretty good!


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## VirginiaHuguenot

> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> Tractor joke:
> 
> What did the chicky say before it was run over by a Case (brand of tractor)? Cheap-cheap!
> 
> Did you hear about John Deere and AM (some female name brand of tractor) getting married? Yep, they had a son and, boy, was he a Case!
> 
> Dumb, dumb, and dumb!!!



Raise your hand, guys, if you've ever gotten a John Deere letter!


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## LadyFlynt

> _Originally posted by Draught Horse_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> Aww, man! What be wrong wi dat, dog? And you breezy says "like" cause dats, like, where she from, ya know?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wow, Colleen, that's pretty good!
Click to expand...


Why, thank you! 

btw, Augusta...my hubby and BIL say "its all good!" LOL! Of course, they are just trying to be funny.


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## BobVigneault

"Prayer can do anything God can do."


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## LadyFlynt

"God only helps those who help themselves"

"God only/always works when ppl pray" (as though God is obligatory to that or that God doesn't work when they don't pray...abracadabra)

(am I being overboard here?)


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## SmokingFlax

Joshua,

Your version of "Deficient Grace" is hilarious.....

Brutal...but hilarious.

Man! I'm seeing a bunch of the phrases that annoy me here...and sadly enough at least one that I've used myself in past years...about "legislating morality." Good riddance! (in no small part to Rushdoony).

I even saw one that my Grandmother used to use a lot...and it bothered me. But how do you correct your Gram without coming out looking foolish in one way or another?


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## SmokingFlax

I don't know where it went...

It seems to have a life of its own. Sometimes it shows up, sometimes it doesn't.
I think it has something to do this ghetto computer that I have.


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## Robin

> _Originally posted by biblelighthouse_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by puritancovenanter_
> I hate the saying... "Christianity isn't a religion it is a relationship."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Why do you hate it?
Click to expand...


Because Christianity IS a religion - the only True Religion on earth. Plus, reducing it to a mere relationship really means that it's individual-personal-private meaning "I can make-up whatever rules I want" type of "relationship."

Sure, it IS a personal relationship. But, I think people iuse that cliche' to avoid contact with mature engagement of doctrine. (Those who usually use the expression are anti-intellectual, demeaning Scripture.)

Plus, it's what Federal Vision uses to defend their idea of covenant.



Robin

PS. God relates to His creatures via covenant - which is a legal arrangement, first and foremost.


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## RamistThomist

I use "religion" because it sounds old timey


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## Average Joey

I cannot believe we have forgotton these.

"God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life" 

Extended ".....if you let him"


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## SmokingFlax

Quote:

"Are you logged in? "

Yup. I sure am -I wouldn't be able to post if I weren't.


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## Ex Nihilo

> _Originally posted by Draught Horse_
> I use "religion" because it sounds old timey



I never understood what was so wrong with "religion," as long as it's the right one. But people get silly ideas about rejecting religion and just going for the relationship with Christ.


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## ChristianasJourney

It's a guy thing.

He didn't make Eve out of the head so she can rule...or out of the feet to be walked on...He made her out of the ribs to be equal with.

And from homeschooling:

When they're little they're little problems when they're big they're big problems.

What about socialization?

What if he wants to become a doctor?


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## LadyFlynt

((Gasp!)) you mean my son can't become a dr?


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## Ex Nihilo

> _Originally posted by ChristianasJourney_
> 
> He didn't make Eve out of the head so she can rule...or out of the feet to be walked on...He made her out of the ribs to be equal with.



Hey, the version I saw of this once was rather nice. It added something like, "close to his heart to be loved, and under his arm to be protected."


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## VirginiaHuguenot

> _Originally posted by Ex Nihilo_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by ChristianasJourney_
> 
> He didn't make Eve out of the head so she can rule...or out of the feet to be walked on...He made her out of the ribs to be equal with.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hey, the version I saw of this once was rather nice. It added something like, "close to his heart to be loved, and under his arm to be protected."
Click to expand...


One of my favorite Matthew Henry sayings: "That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." - Commentary on Gen. 2.21-22


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## JKLeoPCA

Wow, just reading all these for the first time today,.... I don't think i've laughed this hard in a while. 

Loved the Def. Grace song Lyrics.

OK Here are a few sayings that i'm sure you've heard and hate.

"No Creed but Christ."

"I don't believe in denominations, I'm just a Christian, and go to an Non-denominational church."

"ALL means ALL in the Bible." 

"The only real translation of the Bible is the KJV all other versions are perversions."

I HATE this argument.... "So if God knows who is going to heaven, why evangelize."

"God is my Co-Pilot"

I used to HATE being in Dispensational churches growing up listening to "Just as I am" being played about 20 times.

Here's one you will know if you have Charismatic friends.... "I have a word from God for you" ..... I used to cringe,... now i just interrupt and say,... "Oh, so your giving me a Bible?"

Gotta Love this one.
"I only go by what the Bible says, and not what Calvin and Luther said, They were fallible men."


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## Ex Nihilo

> _Originally posted by JKLeoPCA_
> 
> "No Creed but Christ."



I just say, "So who is Christ?"


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## Robin

> _Originally posted by Ex Nihilo_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by JKLeoPCA_
> 
> "No Creed but Christ."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I just say, "So who is Christ?"
Click to expand...


Great, Evie!

Hey, here's another one..... "*MY* Jesus.... wouldn't do xyz"

Gack 

Robin


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## Ex Nihilo

> _Originally posted by Robin_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Ex Nihilo_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by JKLeoPCA_
> 
> "No Creed but Christ."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I just say, "So who is Christ?"
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Great, Evie!
> 
> Hey, here's another one..... "*MY* Jesus.... wouldn't do xyz"
> 
> Gack
> 
> Robin
Click to expand...


Oh, yes, or "The God I know isn't like that." You gotta love it when people who make experiential claims try to pass themselves off as intellectuals.


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## Poimen

Hopefully this one hasn't been posted yet:

Forbidden fruits make many jams. 



Also seen on a church billboard:

"Let's talk after the game."

-God



[Edited on 8-13-2005 by poimen]


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## WrittenFromUtopia

"Be open minded."


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## VirginiaHuguenot

> _Originally posted by poimen_
> Hopefully this one hasn't been posted yet:
> 
> Forbidden fruits make many jams.
> 
> 
> 
> Also seen on a church billboard:
> 
> "Let's talk after the game."
> 
> -God
> 
> 
> 
> [Edited on 8-13-2005 by poimen]



See this thread.


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## blhowes

"All baptists are by definition dispensational" (or something like that)


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## LawrenceU

What drives me absolutely nuts is the growing practice of the improper use of reflexive pronouns. Now, it is so bad that you will hear it in scripted speeches written by 'professionals'.

Another is the misuse of 'historical' and 'historic'.

Add to those whenever a child addressing an adult does not use 'sir' or 'ma'am'. I know that is a Southern thing, but it is abhorent to my ears to hear a child say, 'Yeah' to an adult; or to call them by their first name.


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## alwaysreforming

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> Tractor joke:
> 
> What did the chicky say before it was run over by a Case (brand of tractor)? Cheap-cheap!
> 
> Did you hear about John Deere and AM (some female name brand of tractor) getting married? Yep, they had a son and, boy, was he a Case!
> 
> Dumb, dumb, and dumb!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Raise your hand, guys, if you've ever gotten a John Deere letter!
Click to expand...



Come on, Andrew, you know the rules:

You should never ask people to raise their hands unless "every head is bowed, every eye is closed."


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## Presbyrino

"All roads lead to God"
"It doesn't matter what you believe as long as you have faith"
"Your truth is your truth, my truth is my truth"
"Jesus is standing, knocking on the door of your heart, won't you let him in"


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## Poimen

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by poimen_
> Hopefully this one hasn't been posted yet:
> 
> Forbidden fruits make many jams.
> 
> 
> 
> Also seen on a church billboard:
> 
> "Let's talk after the game."
> 
> -God
> 
> 
> 
> [Edited on 8-13-2005 by poimen]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> See this thread.
Click to expand...


You just had to rub it in, didn't you! 






[Edited on 8-13-2005 by poimen]


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## BobVigneault

We had a thread a few months ago in which we came up with things you will never hear on the Puritan Board. A lot of those things are showing up here making that old thread increasing inaccurate for now we are hearing them again, AND torturing ourselves and one another with the phrases we despise. This must be a form of puritan masochism.

But it's all good, we're gonna give the devil a black eye tonight! (Ugh! I hate that!)


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## RamistThomist

"Get your praise on!"


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## Poimen

From a Christian rock band:

"We're gonna rock the devil's socks off!"


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## Puritanhead

"...your tithes and offerings..."


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## blhowes

"that's just YOUR interpretation"


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## RamistThomist

> _Originally posted by blhowes_
> "that's just YOUR interpretation"



I usually respond, "That's correct. And my interpretation is better than yours (ie, mine's right and your's is not)."


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## Puritanhead

"The _Honorable_ Senator.... [so and so]"

:bigsmile:


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## RamistThomist

"Microsoft Works"


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## Puritanhead

"You don't have anything to worry about if you haven't done anything..."
--Typical response to grumblings about the police state or Patriot Act...


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## PuritanCovenanter

Why should the Devil have all the good music?


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## PuritanCovenanter

One of my sons and I got into it one day. He finally said something that took my phone off its hook. 

MY BAD! 

I had to ask him 5 or 6 times what he was saying. It only made me angry that I couldn't decifer or put sense to his communication. 

Needless to say 'My Bad', 'Word', and all other stupid talk has been banned from my family.

We try to speak English here. Not Ebonics.

[Edited on 8-14-2005 by puritancovenanter]


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## PuritanCovenanter

> _Originally posted by blhowes_
> "that's just YOUR interpretation"



When someone tells me this I just start quoting the 10 Commandments and ask them to interpret. The discussion usually stops pretty quickly.


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## LadyFlynt

> _Originally posted by puritancovenanter_
> 
> We try to speak English here. Not Ebonics.
> 
> [Edited on 8-14-2005 by puritancovenanter]



Someone needs to tell my hubby that! (for those that didn't get it earlier "breezy" is ebonics for one's woman/wife/girlfriend)


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## RamistThomist

> _Originally posted by puritancovenanter_
> One of my sons and I got into it one day. He finally said something that took my phone off its hook.
> 
> MY BAD!
> 
> I had to ask him 5 or 6 times what he was saying. It only made me angry that I couldn't decifer or put sense to his communication.
> 
> Needless to say My Bad, Word, and all other stupic talk has been banned from my family.
> 
> We try to speak English here. Not Ebonics.
> 
> [Edited on 8-14-2005 by puritancovenanter]



I down wi dat!

OR

I dig


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## LadyFlynt

I've noticed this board goes through cycles. Heavy debate followed by a time of comedic hiatus, then back to the study/questions/debate again.


----------



## RamistThomist

I once wrote a little tract called, "How to express your faith without using cliches."


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## ReformedWretch

> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> I've noticed this board goes through cycles. Heavy debate followed by a time of comedic hiatus, then back to the study/questions/debate again.



Which is great in my opinion!


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## Arch2k

> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> I've noticed this board goes through cycles. Heavy debate followed by a time of comedic hiatus, then back to the study/questions/debate again.



Looks like we're not the frozen chosen afterall! 

Oh....I'm posting on a reformed message board on a Saturday night....


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## biblelighthouse

How about the Christian-Rock Stryper song from the 80s: "To Hell With the Devil!"


----------



## Puritanhead

"You know Ryan, I really don't want to date anyone right now..."
--Really hot girl blowing me off-- at least I try.


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## VirginiaHuguenot

> _Originally posted by Puritanhead_
> "You know Ryan, I really don't want to date anyone right now..."
> --Really hot girl blowing me off-- at least I try.



 Or, "maybe we can just be friends."


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## WrittenFromUtopia

"It's not you ... it's me!"


----------



## Robin

> _Originally posted by Draught Horse_
> I once wrote a little tract called, "How to express your faith without using cliches."



How about, "How to express your faith without using tracts" ? Would that be relevant to your idea, J? (Sounds like it might be....)

R.


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## PuritanCovenanter

> _Originally posted by WrittenFromUtopia_
> "It's not you ... it's me!"



I agree. It is.


----------



## heartoflesh

whatever


----------



## RamistThomist

Girl to guy:
"I just want to be friends"

OR

"I think you are a nice person, but..."


----------



## RamistThomist

> _Originally posted by biblelighthouse_
> How about the Christian-Rock Stryper song from the 80s: "To Hell With the Devil!"



As vapid as that is, I really laughed out loud on that one!


----------



## Arch2k

Yo mama.


----------



## Anton Bruckner

how bout dis one, "gratuitious violence"


----------



## LadyFlynt

"are we there yet?"


----------



## PuritanCovenanter

edited by me.

They were old sayings on bumber stickers in the 80's.

[Edited on 8-16-2005 by puritancovenanter]


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## Arch2k

Dawg.


----------



## crhoades

For shizzle my nizzle...


----------



## Augusta

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> For shizzle my nizzle...



Isn't it "Fo shizzle my nizzle?" You gotta get rid of that r.


----------



## crhoades

> _Originally posted by Augusta_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> For shizzle my nizzle...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Isn't it "Fo shizzle my nizzle?" You gotta get rid of that r.
Click to expand...


My bad dawg


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## RamistThomist

Playa play on!
Don't hate the playa hate the game!

But what I really hate is "Satan is a nerd." While I would agree with the conclusion, didn't Jude warn us about that? Interestingly enough, given his charismatic bent Wayne Grudem argues for the validity of rebuking the devil.


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## Augusta

Ok, from now on we can only 5p34k l33t.


----------



## Puritanhead

"Son, you need to get out of that suit and tie at this church..."


----------



## Augusta

I hate it when people take out of context the verse that says "for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" to mean we can't look to confessions and church scholarship down through the ages for help in understanding scripture. We have to listen for the "still small voice."


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## alwaysreforming

"Are we having fun yet?"

"Hey, John, are you working hard.... or hardly working?"


----------



## Puritanhead

I don't know what is more annoying:
"How is it going?"

Or the response:
"It's going!"

I'm prone to asking the former.


----------



## LadyFlynt

My MIL hated it when I'd ask

"so how'd your day at work go?"

MIL was always  (she's a nurse, how did I think her day was?!)


----------



## Puritanhead

"I'm _pan_millennial -- it will all _pan_ out in the end..."


----------



## Puritanhead

"Sir, can I see your license and registration..."


----------



## Average Joey

> _Originally posted by Puritanhead_
> I don't know what is more annoying:
> "How is it going?"
> 
> Or the response:
> "It's going!"
> 
> I'm prone to asking the former.



I don`t think me and you would get along very well.


"He was such a good person.God has got to let him into heaven."


----------



## VirginiaHuguenot

"Is it hot enough for you?"


----------



## JonathanHunt

'You see, Jesus never had a plan, he just wandered around doing what his Father told him...'

An ELDER of an arminiany charismaticy baptisty church talking to me recently...

JH


----------



## Arch2k

Joe Mama


----------



## Anton Bruckner

> _Originally posted by JonathanHunt_
> 'You see, Jesus never had a plan, he just wandered around doing what his Father told him...'
> 
> An ELDER of an arminiany charismaticy baptisty church talking to me recently...
> 
> JH


Last night I turned on WMCA here in NY, and heard a Pastor interpreting Romans 9 to mean, "you have to choose for yourself whether you will be a vessel of honor or dishonor"


----------



## turmeric

It's my Friday.

Don't go there!


----------



## Poimen

> _Originally posted by Slippery_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by JonathanHunt_
> 'You see, Jesus never had a plan, he just wandered around doing what his Father told him...'
> 
> An ELDER of an arminiany charismaticy baptisty church talking to me recently...
> 
> JH
> 
> 
> 
> Last night I turned on WMCA here in NY, and heard a Pastor interpreting Romans 9 to mean, "you have to choose for yourself whether you will be a vessel of honor or dishonor"
Click to expand...


You're kidding!?


----------



## JKLeoPCA

> _Originally posted by Slippery_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by JonathanHunt_
> 'You see, Jesus never had a plan, he just wandered around doing what his Father told him...'
> 
> An ELDER of an arminiany charismaticy baptisty church talking to me recently...
> 
> JH
> 
> 
> 
> Last night I turned on WMCA here in NY, and heard a Pastor interpreting Romans 9 to mean, "you have to choose for yourself whether you will be a vessel of honor or dishonor"
Click to expand...



Yeah :bigsmile:

I've heard that, "You decide to walk through the "door of salvation," then if you look back, above the door it says, you were chosen." there are a few variations i'm sure.

...And gotta love the contextual Arminian use of "Behold I stand at the door and knock...!"


----------



## Robin

> _Originally posted by poimen_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Slippery_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by JonathanHunt_
> 'You see, Jesus never had a plan, he just wandered around doing what his Father told him...'
> 
> An ELDER of an arminiany charismaticy baptisty church talking to me recently...
> 
> JH
> 
> 
> 
> Last night I turned on WMCA here in NY, and heard a Pastor interpreting Romans 9 to mean, "you have to choose for yourself whether you will be a vessel of honor or dishonor"
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> You're kidding!?
Click to expand...


I wish I were kidding...an Arminian pastor I heard (at a Christmas service), explained that "who Jesus was had nothing whatever to do with being a Jew; being the Son of Mary and Joseph; had nothing to do with His family heritage"... etc. Meaning that He relied on the Father's advice to lead an extraordinary life of love and sacrifice. And we should take the cue and do likewise.

 Is it me? Or did he flatly deny the Gospel?

Robin


----------



## blhowes

> _Originally posted by Slippery_
> Last night I turned on WMCA here in NY, and heard a Pastor interpreting Romans 9 to mean, "you have to choose for yourself whether you will be a vessel of honor or dishonor"


I wonder what he'd say about Ephesians 1:4

Eph 1:4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

..."you have to choose for yourself whether you will be chosen in him before the foundation of the world"


----------



## SmokingFlax

"...And gotta love the contextual Arminian use of "Behold I stand at the door and knock...!" "

Now there's one that really makes me cringe when I hear it!


----------



## SheWhoWaits

*Legislating morality*



> _Originally posted by Draught Horse_
> "You can't legislate morality!"



What else WOULD you legislate?


----------



## Puritanhead

> _Originally posted by turmeric_
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by SmokingFlax_
> I've just recently re-discovered the humble prune and included it in my *regular* diet.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Was that a Freudian slip?
Click to expand...


Ughhh... Oh yeah... I don't like references to Freudian psychology... Freud is full of himself.


----------



## Puritanhead

> _Originally posted by LadyFlynt_
> I've noticed this board goes through cycles. Heavy debate followed by a time of comedic hiatus, then back to the study/questions/debate again.



Yeah this board is really tempermental, moody, cyclical, changing, and complicated in much the same way that women are...
:bigsmile:


----------



## turmeric

> I wish I were kidding...an Arminian pastor I heard (at a Christmas service), explained that "who Jesus was had nothing whatever to do with being a Jew; being the Son of Mary and Joseph; had nothing to do with His family heritage"... etc. Meaning that He relied on the Father's advice to lead an extraordinary life of love and sacrifice. And we should take the cue and do likewise.
> 
> Is it me? Or did he flatly deny the Gospel?
> 
> Robin



Didn't you know that? That's how we can live the victorious Christian life - just the way Jesus did. It's called the exchanged life....oops, perfectionist flashback, sorry! Heard this sort of drivel many a time growing up - never could get it to work.


----------

