# I never hear discussions on if single elders are biblical



## Michael J. Baloga (Aug 3, 2010)

When we read 1 Tim chapter 3 it discusses qualfications of Pastors, elders, and deacons. When the Bible says "the husband of One wife with children in submission" Doesn't that mean you have to be married? If you notice it also says" if you cannot take care of your own house how can you take care of the church of God" To me it seems unbiblical to be single and a Pastor, elder or Deacon.


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## py3ak (Aug 3, 2010)

Joshua said:


> If so, then both Jesus and Paul would be disqualified for the office. Also, if someone were a Pastor and became a widower (or had an unwanted divorce that freed him from the marriage biblically), or his children moved away, I suppose he would be disqualified. I believe the text is speaking more to *if* he's married and *if* he has children. When he says he "must...be the husband of one wife," it means literally a one-woman man. So the sense of it means, "He must have *only* one wife (at a time), if at all."



And Barnabas.


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## Christopher88 (Aug 3, 2010)

Would it be better or worse for a ministry guy to be married? 

I could see benifits of both, elders what are your thoughts?


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## Notthemama1984 (Aug 3, 2010)

I am guessing the OP has SBC leanings. I have heard this argument growing up in SBC churches.


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## JML (Aug 3, 2010)

Chaplainintraining said:


> I am guessing the OP has SBC leanings. I have heard this argument growing up in SBC churches.


 
It is possible. When I was in the SBC, most pastor search committees would not even look at you unless you were married. It was usually one of the requirements in order to be considered. I guess we could come up with some reasons that would cause this fear in a church but they disregard Scripture because of fears that they have.


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## Scott1 (Aug 3, 2010)

As I've come to understand the I Timothy 3 and Titus 1 requirements for office (e.g. minister, elder and deacon)- the men God calls to these offices would have a normative pattern of being married, as would be reflective of the covenant community standard generally. Marriage being a great crucible for the exemplary life pattern required for those whom God would appoint as leaders in His Church.

But it is not an absolute requirement. Certainly the examples of our Lord, and the patterns of some great biblical leaders would show that.

There are many reasons adults of marriageable age are not married. Some are based on wrong attitudes and sinful behavior, and Scripture (and the Westminster Standards) bring that out. We certainly live in a generation where men in particular are encouraged by culture "not to commit."

But there are men who God has gifted, or called for the time being to be unmarried, or as the Apostle Paul said, "remain as I am." And there is nothing wrong with that. It is something I have seen modeled well in the lives of a few people who indeed serve well their office.


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## SolaScriptura (Aug 3, 2010)

Yeah... you have to be married to know how to give practical ministry to married people... just like you have to have kids in order to know how to relate to parents... just like you have to lose a child to know how to relate to those who lose a child... just like you have to suffer under abuse to know how to relate to those who suffer under abuse... just like you have to experience the horrors of war to relate to those who've experienced the horrors of war... just like you have to battle cancer to relate to those who are battling cancer...

Oh wait, I'm worn out. I guess we should all just give up because since no one has experienced everything, I guess no one is qualified to relate...

---------- Post added at 05:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:32 PM ----------

That post above is in response to the argument (not made here, thankfully) that I heard often in my evangellyfish days that a pastor "should" be married and have kids in order to be able to relate to the struggles faced by those in the pews.


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## Jack K (Aug 3, 2010)

Okay, I agree that our generation has devalued marriage. But in light of the instruction in 1 Corinthians 7 (Paul: "I wish that all were as I myself am"), I think we put ourselves in a bad spot if we start asking single candidates for office why they aren't married but fail to ask married candidates why they did marry. If we inquire about the topic from both, that's okay—and probably a good idea. But let's not be assuming single guys are necessarily more worldly than those who've married, or that married guys aren't just as likely to have made their choices for worldly reasons.


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## baron (Aug 3, 2010)

John Lanier said:


> Chaplainintraining said:
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> > I am guessing the OP has SBC leanings. I have heard this argument growing up in SBC churches.
> ...



I always thought those churches wanted the two for one deal. Pay the pastor and get the wife for free. Most churches I have seen want the wife to play the piano or organ, lead the choir, teach children's church, and a host of other jobs. Some times the pastors wife has more to do than the pastor for she also has to take care of the home and children.


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## JML (Aug 3, 2010)

baron said:


> John Lanier said:
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> > Chaplainintraining said:
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It's funny you say that. When I was an SBC pastor, my wife played the piano.


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## baron (Aug 3, 2010)

John Lanier said:


> baron said:
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I hope she was paid for her services. Most churches have a budget for this even though most people do it for free. I have know churches to put a guilt trip on pastors and their wives over what the wife can do for the church.


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## Notthemama1984 (Aug 3, 2010)

John Lanier said:


> baron said:
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that is how it worked with my dad as well. He would actually put on his resume that my mom played the piano and organ. It was a selling point.


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## kvanlaan (Aug 4, 2010)

Rat brains!


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## Grimmson (Aug 4, 2010)

py3ak said:


> Joshua said:
> 
> 
> > If so, then both Jesus and Paul would be disqualified for the office. Also, if someone were a Pastor and became a widower (or had an unwanted divorce that freed him from the marriage biblically), or his children moved away, I suppose he would be disqualified. I believe the text is speaking more to *if* he's married and *if* he has children. When he says he "must...be the husband of one wife," it means literally a one-woman man. So the sense of it means, "He must have *only* one wife (at a time), if at all."
> ...



If I am correct, I do not think tradition speaks of Timothy being married come to think of it. And if he lived his life single, up to the point he was stoned in Ephesus by church tradition, then that should be an interesting consideration to keep in mind when applying First Timothy against single men desiring to be a pastor. In fact I can consider a few advantages based of having a single pastor from 1 Corinthians seven. Particularly in regarding daily regular evening visitations of members; which one maybe limited due to needed time with one’s family, including teaching his own children, if they are married. I personally think forcing every male who is in ministry to marry is part of the devaluing process of marriage and an over reaction against Rome, because it cheapens the role of a husband and a father in regards to time as it relates to the calling to be an under-shepherd. Married men are more likely to be more worldly for practical reasons then single men do for the sake of providing for their children and his wife; which in turn can limit prayer time, study, private bible teaching, picking up and leaving at a moment notice because of a church member’s emergency. 




John Lanier said:


> baron said:
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My mother was a pianist for the SBC churches my father pastored at.

I think single pastors should be allowed and recommended, but with that singleness a desire to focus on the needs of his church day and night without excuse. Married men (from a practical perspective based from the calling of God to be responsibility federally over his family to care and provide) have the problem of providing for his wife and children which could hurt his boldness in proclaiming the truth to the church, out of fear of the people not getting what they want; resulting to the tickling of ears. It is much easier for a single man to move on at times then a married man if the congregation is the happy with what the pastor is saying regarding current Christian trends or traditions that have infected the church. Now with that said safeguards should be in place for the sake of wisdom to protect the pastor from the single and married women of the church, so that he does not fall into lust. If such were the case he needs to get married.

It was a good question in regards to common practice today.


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## Jack K (Aug 4, 2010)

I was unmarried when I became a deacon. In that time, there were many ministries I was able to commit to that became more difficult once a wife and kids came on the scene, simply because of time commitments. But once I married, I found that also helpful in some ways—mostly just having my wife's insight and superior people skills around to help me. Both marriage and singleness are good. Both should not only be allowed, but celebrated.


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