# A Call to Ministry?



## Andrew P.C.

So, for quite some time I've been back and forth on this issue (for about 6 years). I was in the Marine Corps for 4 years and now I'm finally going back to school and obtaining a degree. However, I have had a few pastors, elders, and layman tell me that I might be looking at a call to ministry. I personally have issue with this because I'm not sure. I have been reading all the posts I can find regarding a call to ministry. There are so many things that you should be cautious of when considering this. I take this very serious because this is the highest calling you can have. However, I do take issue with a statement from an earlier thread and would like some input. Dr. Don Kistler states:


> If a man who is married thinks he has a call to the ministry, I think it should be determined that his wife senses that call, and all that goes with it for her.
> 
> If God calls a man, He will also call that man's wife. If she is not going to be a good pastor's wife, he may not be called. I grant that no one is born ready, but there should be the sense that she is ready as well.



First, knowing the human condition of having an evil heart, and knowing that there is still that old nature within us (Rom. 7), how can this be true? How can a subjective feeling of your spouse affirm your calling? Second, How do you differentiate between the Holy Spirit and your own desires? Scripture clearly tells us that "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer. 17:9) Third, where is the scriptural basis for such a claim? I am not denying that there might be, but I do call into question whether this is truly an accurate representation of affirmation. Fourthly, if there are ministers of the Word and Sacrament telling me that I should pursue the ministry, yet my wife doesn't feel "called" to be a pastor's wife, how do I make a conclusion on this confusing situations? By the way, going in line with number three, where is the scriptural basis that a wife is "Called" with her husband?

Thank you for your time. Again, these are hard things for me to understand. I am seeking advice.


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## stephen2

Andrew, have you read R.L. Dabney's piece on the call to ministry (volume 2 of his Discussions)? It answers in principle the very questions you are asking. I do not believe that your wife needs to 'feel' called. Rather, is she willing to submit to the call of God on your life if indeed you are being called?

Edit: Not of course that you shouldn't seriously consider any objections she may have...


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## Andrew P.C.

Stephen, 

No I haven't but would love to read what he has to say. Would this be it by any chance? 

A Puritan's Mind » What Is A Call To The Ministry? – by Dr. RL Dabney


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## Romans922

A wife isn't called to be a pastor's wife. She if she is your wife, is called to be your wife and support you as your helper in what you are called to.

If you are unsure if you are called, then go to the elders of the Church of which you are a member and ask them if they would be willing to test your gifts. To put you in a position to teach/preach, etc. and if you are called there will be evidence of that that they will be able to discern. If you get this external confirmation (Call) it may help in understanding your inward call. They will also be of great help to you as to your wife. Of course, if you don't have the external call, you are all set!!!


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## stephen2

Yes Andrew that's it. I would echo what Andrew has said. Well put. May the Lord bless you as you seek His will on this.


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## C. M. Sheffield

I understand Dr. Kistler's point, and it is well taken. However, I do not think I would frame it in exactly those terms. In his comments he highlights the need for a wife to earnestly support her husband in his pastoral calling. I don't think anyone would argue with that. As to weather she must receive an inward "call" to be a "pastor's wife," I would not be comfortable with that language. 

I would however, stress the need for a young man aspiring to the ministry to "marry in the Lord." One can hardly expect a wife to faithfully support her husband in any calling if she is outside the bonds of Christ. I have known of men who were essentially disqualified for the sacred office because of their wives. And a young man should be careful to let no bare profession suffice. Let him be convinced of the genuineness of her profession before even entertaining the possibility of romantic involvement - let alone marriage. And let him be careful to find a woman who is long-suffering and patient in adversity; not given to worldly appetites. Instead she must be one who has learned to be content in whatever state she finds herself (Phil. 4:11; 1 Tim. 6:8; Heb. 13:5). A woman possessing these qualities will be as much a gift to the church as her husband is.

As for a man considering a call to the ministry who is already married and whose wife is a believer, she has as her calling the duty of supporting her husband in whatever lawful vocation he should undertake. I will grant that some women are better suited in the role of "pastor's wife" than others, however, there is really no justification for a wife who abdicates her responsibility to her husband simply because she is not all that thrilled with the prospect of being a pastor's wife. And a woman who persists in such obstinacy may even evidence being in an unregenerate state. Which would put a man's calling in serious doubt. 

As for a husband who's wife is struggling with the idea of her husband going into the ministry, he should avail himself of every opportunity to listen to her concerns, understand her feelings, and provide a careful explanation of why he feels called to this work. With patience, prayer, and time, she may indeed be won by her husbands careful and loving guidance.


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## KMK

1 Tim 3:2 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 

It is assumed that before everyone else starts to give their opinion about your call, that you already *desire* the call. If you do not *desire* the call then everyone else's opinion is moot. It is just as noble to be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach, etc. without also being a minister. Don't mistake general sanctification as a call to the specific office of ministry.


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## SolaSaint

KMK said:


> 1 Tim 3:2 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
> 
> It is assumed that before everyone else starts to give their opinion about your call, that you already *desire* the call. If you do not *desire* the call then everyone else's opinion is moot. It is just as noble to be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach, etc. without also being a minister. Don't mistake general sanctification as a call to the specific office of ministry.



Ken, thanks for that verse. I have been listening to Steve Lawson on expositional preaching and he used this verse in the call of a preacher. That is the point where I am at. I desire to preach and am studying to do so, but I don't feel called at this point. Is it possible to have a desire and never be called?


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## KMK

SolaSaint said:


> KMK said:
> 
> 
> 
> 1 Tim 3:2 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
> 
> It is assumed that before everyone else starts to give their opinion about your call, that you already *desire* the call. If you do not *desire* the call then everyone else's opinion is moot. It is just as noble to be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach, etc. without also being a minister. Don't mistake general sanctification as a call to the specific office of ministry.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ken, thanks for that verse. I have been listening to Steve Lawson on expositional preaching and he used this verse in the call of a preacher. That is the point where I am at. I desire to preach and am studying to do so, but I don't feel called at this point. Is it possible to have a desire and never be called?
Click to expand...


There are two parts to the call to ministry. One is the desire on your part, the other is the desire on the part of the church.



> LBC Chapter 29, Paragraph 9. The way appointed by Christ for the calling of any person, fitted and gifted by the Holy Spirit, unto the office of bishop or elder in a church, is, that he be chosen thereunto by the common suffrage of the church itself;16 and solemnly set apart by fasting and prayer, with imposition of hands of the eldership of the church, if there be any before constituted therein;



I suppose, therefore, that it is possible for a man to desire to preach yet not be called by a church. But, I am not sure if this is the question you are really asking.


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## reaganmarsh

KMK said:


> Don't mistake general sanctification as a call to the specific office of ministry.



Amen. Sound counsel here.


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## Pilgrim

There have been some good points made here. brother. Sheffield is quite right to emphasize a pastor marrying well. I'll give but one example that I've come across. There is one church that otherwise seems more or less solid that we would have joined in the past. But the pastor's wife is one of the more obnoxious and offensive people we've ever encountered in a church. I hadn't quite thought of it in these terms before, but if he is unwilling or unable to rule his household well in this regard, is he called, at least at the present time? (I've thought that perhaps it is a recent issue with her brought on by some medical condition, etc. I don't know enough to be sure. Regardless, I wouldn't be surprised that this behavior has kept others from joining the church as well. By contrast, there are some churches in a somewhat more broadly evangelical denomination with the same polity that are growing. I know of at least one family that left the church in question for one of those other churches, although I don't know the reason for the change.) While there is no explicit description of elder's wives in the NT, if Paul gives directions regarding deacon's wives, (1 Tim 3:11) how much more elder's wives even if he has married "in the Lord?" 

A good point was also made about unqualified and/or ungifted men being pushed into the ministry. In some cases, young men who evidently strive after holiness and righteousness and who are familiar with the Bible in an age in which that's all too rare (even in the church among "conservative Bible-believers") are pushed into the ministry by well meaning leaders. It can happen when the man is still a novice in some respects and can happen when they don't appear to have been suited for the work of the ministry at all in retrospect. And this would have been clear had more thorough examination had been made at the start. I've seen it in more broad evangelical type circles as well as in Reformed churches. Some may have gifts in one area such as teaching (i.e. in an academic setting), encouragement, administration or whatever but are instead steered into the ministry by their pastor or elders, with consequences that are sometimes ruinous. Presbyterians might say that such cases can be or should be caught by the Presbytery. That sometimes happens. But the local church knows him much more intimately (or at least it should!) and is in a much better position to examine a man's gifts up close, especially with regard to his private life, his interactions with non office holders, etc. Even if the lack of a true calling becomes evident before a man is ordained, considerable time and expense can be spent in seminary when it could have been avoided had there been a more thorough vetting at the outset.


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## Andrew P.C.

Thank you all for your advice. I have thought of most of these before, but some of them are helping understand the "wife" issue better. Also, I do need to go through the local church here. I am currently waiting for my membership transfer from the church I was attending while living in southern California. The consistory already met and have sent the papers to the local session here. Even though the OPC has a fraternal relationship with the URC, I'm very excited about this transfer. Anyway, that's besides the point. One thing I've noticed about myself is that I truly have a desire for God's people. I love my local church (and the one from Escondido) and I am trying to be involved with this church as much as I can. 

Ken,

I do desire the call, or I wouldn't have put this up.  Thank you so much for your advice. I desire the call, but I am nervous, scared, and cautious.


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## KMK

Andrew P.C. said:


> Thank you all for your advice. I have thought of most of these before, but some of them are helping understand the "wife" issue better. Also, I do need to go through the local church here. I am currently waiting for my membership transfer from the church I was attending while living in southern California. The consistory already met and have sent the papers to the local session here. Even though the OPC has a fraternal relationship with the URC, I'm very excited about this transfer. Anyway, that's besides the point. One thing I've noticed about myself is that I truly have a desire for God's people. I love my local church (and the one from Escondido) and I am trying to be involved with this church as much as I can.
> 
> Ken,
> 
> I do desire the call, or I wouldn't have put this up.  Thank you so much for your advice. I desire the call, but I am nervous, scared, and cautious.



Actually, I was answering Rick's question specifically. But, I understand where you are coming from as well. Being nervous, scared and cautious are good things.


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## C. M. Sheffield

Your cautious attitude is a welcomed change from the presumption characterizing so many young men today.


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## David Pope

Andrew,

Have you been approached by anyone in your congregation concerning nomination as a Ruling Elder? As I read the Scriptures and my denomination's Book of Church Order, Teaching Elders are those qualified as Ruling Elders who have a particular giftedness for teaching and preaching. I think it might be better to consider if the office of elder is a responsibility you desire, and then allow your Session and congregation to help discern whether you are particularly gifted to teach. If that's the case, then they would likely send you to seminary to obtain the requisite specialty education that Teaching Elders should have.

I know that this may not be the conventional way that young men approach ministry, but I've thought on the subject quite a bit over the last few years an think that there is value to the methodology I've discussed above.


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## Pilgrim

On pastor's wives: Is She Up for This? Questions for a Potential Pastor


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## Edward

David Pope said:


> As I read the Scriptures and my denomination's Book of Church Order, Teaching Elders are those qualified as Ruling Elders who have a particular giftedness for teaching and preaching. I think it might be better to consider if the office of elder is a responsibility you desire, and then allow your Session and congregation to help discern whether you are particularly gifted to teach. If that's the case, then they would likely send you to seminary to obtain the requisite specialty education that Teaching Elders should have.



Since you are showing that you are PCA, I would respectfully submit you are misreading the BCO. I would suggest re-reading Chapter 18 of the BCO.


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## Eved

I am unaware of any Scripture specifying the calling of your wife along with your calling, but as stated above their support is necessary. (It could also be because I do not possess a vast knowledge of Scripture though). I am curious of your posts' implications because I am in a similar situation. The only problem I have is that I do not have the support of a local church to affirm my calling. I would ask if this is necessary? I can see its importance, but I do not know of a godly congregation in my area.

In regards to your OP quotes I think your wife should affirm your calling in submission to God's will, but I would never put it in those terms.


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## deleteduser99

I don't think I would put it in the way Kistler stated it either. Though I think too that if a wife is not convinced that her husband is qualified, and assuming her character is good and she understands what is required of an elder, then it may be good evidence that he is not called. In that aspect I would think her assessment is vital.


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