# A controversial speech about women



## Poimen (Apr 17, 2008)

This will certainly put modern sensibilities in a bind. Henry Higgins, professor of phonetics at Cambridge University has noted (in a very public manner):

Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating hags!

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?

One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?


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## Poimen (Apr 17, 2008)

Eliza Doolittle, a vocal protester, was heard saying:

"Aoow"

and later 

"Garn"


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Apr 17, 2008)

Yep. One of my favorite movies.  I used to sing that tune ("Let the others of my sex / tie the knot around their necks / I prefer a new edition / of the Spanish Inquisition / than to ever let a woman in my life"). Didn't that "confirmed old bachelor" end up though growing "accustomed to her face"? 

Then I learned to sing a different tune:

Eric Carmen:



> _When I was young
> I never needed anyone
> And makin love was just for fun
> Those days are gone
> ...



Bruce Springsteen:



> _Everybody needs a place to rest
> Everybody wants to have a home
> Dont make no difference what nobody says
> Aint nobody like to be alone_



And finally I met the one who turned me around 180 degrees




:

Firefall:



> _You are the woman that I've always dreamed of
> I knew it from the start
> I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart_


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## Simply_Nikki (Apr 17, 2008)

Awww ain't that precious


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## Poimen (Apr 17, 2008)

Andrew:

Thanks for ruining the surprise!


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## Simply_Nikki (Apr 17, 2008)

Poimen said:


> Andrew:
> 
> Thanks for ruining the surprise!


 

 i missed it. What's the surprise?


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## Poimen (Apr 17, 2008)

Look at the thread title again. I meant for people to read it thinking that it was a real event.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Apr 17, 2008)

Poimen said:


> Look at the thread title again. I meant for people to read it thinking that it was a real event.



 Oops. Sawwee.


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## Simply_Nikki (Apr 17, 2008)

OOoOOoooh hehe 

hmm.. Ooooo < don't those look like toes? lol


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## JBaldwin (Apr 17, 2008)

Poimen said:


> Look at the thread title again. I meant for people to read it thinking that it was a real event.



Come, do you think you could fool us Audrey Hepburn fans? When I saw Henry Higgins, professor, I knew right away.


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## Ivan (Apr 17, 2008)

JBaldwin said:


> Poimen said:
> 
> 
> > Look at the thread title again. I meant for people to read it thinking that it was a real event.
> ...



Exactly.


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## JonathanHunt (Apr 17, 2008)

Will you be quoting Prof Higgins in your sermon on the Lord's Day, Pastor Kok?


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## Poimen (Apr 17, 2008)

I knew that I would not be able to fool those who had seen the movie or the play but I had hoped that someone would go on an angry tirade and then I would be able to calmly explain the origin of the words.

Jonathan: No, but I will if you will. He's from your country after all.


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