# What do you do when your mother doesn't seek your advice?



## govols (Dec 6, 2005)

My brother-in-law is an unbeliever and bore a son (now 9) out of wedlock. He is suffering from generational sin of drunkenness, etc that still exists in my in-laws home (2 other children are the same way). He got married to his wife who was 8 months pregnant at the time and they now have another child (2 hers/ his and 1 his into that marriage). His wife can not stand the 9 year old b/c he is unruly and will not listen and, of course, her mothering style, per se, is worldly at best. He stays in constant trouble at school. Sad case.

My father-in-law (unbeliever but will tell you otherwise) and mother-in-law (probably unbeliever) have taken it upon themselves to pretty much raise the 9 year old. They went to my pastor and elders for advice a year ago but haven't been back again probably b/c of the advice wasn't what they wanted to hear and it would also expose their unbelief (In my humble opinion). They instead are seeking worldly counselors now that just don't have a clue.

My wife is saddened because her mother will not ask for advice from her daughter. Not to be prideful in any way but we try to raise our children in light of Scripture as you all do - with love, discipline (out of love) and steadfast prayer, teaching them God's word and helping them to hide it in their hearts in hope that God will cleanse their hearts quickly.

The 9 year old sees a difference when he comes to our house and acts differently yet my mother-in-law will not ask my wife for any advice and that tears her up.

What to do? We have thought of, an probably will, asking her why she doesn't ask? We pray for her and the condition of her soul. We even thought of helping keep the 9 year old but that would disrupt the order of our children b/c they are 7, 6, 3 and 1.


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## CalsFarmer (Dec 6, 2005)

What parent asks advice from a child? My mother has asked for advice from one ONCE...whether or not to buy UAL stock (United Airlines @ 17.00). She could care less about any of my other opinions....(but she took my advice over that of my brother thank God)....do not ask her why she does not seek your advice unless you want a real good flogging

Keep praying and loving that child.......

BTW how would keeping the 9 year old disrupt the order at your house? It seems to me just by your post that the child enjoys being with you and would probably THRIVE in your home....and maybe the younger ones would appreciate it too...


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## BJClark (Dec 6, 2005)

Parents don't typically ask their children for advice on how to raise
children. 

Pray God will use you as a witness to her parents and her sibilings
and their children.

You can invite your nephew to church, you can invite him over
more often, giving Him an opportunity to see a different lifestyle, talk
to HIM about YOUR faith and How knowing Jesus has changed
you. And trust God to work in your in-laws hearts, just as He did 
your's and your wifes.


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## govols (Dec 6, 2005)

We were talking of adopting but, that is where the birth order comes into play.

He does visit my church often but b/c the way he acts and talks some don't want their children to spend "too" much time unsupervised with him. I totally understand b/c I supervise his time with my children.

She has already mentioned in the past that she wished she knew or did what my has done whilst she was a young mother. But my wife says that it is solely by God's mercy and grace.

We want to help but she pushes us away.


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