# Your Essentials for child-rearing



## JohnJames (Jun 27, 2015)

So my wife and I are having a baby in October. It is our first, and while we're not exactly freaking out, we're not exactly certain what to do either.

One of the main difficulties is that we both come from a broken family, and neither of us were disciplined properly. 

I'm certain we'll be loving parents, but we can definitely use help on the practical side of things.

If you're read or watched anything that you find particularly helpful to raising a child, your sharing it here would be greatly appreciated.


----------



## Pergamum (Jun 27, 2015)

Avoid Garry Ezzo and Babywise is my first thought.


----------



## Jimmy the Greek (Jun 27, 2015)

Pray. Read Proverbs. Fellowship with the saints. You'll do fine. Don't worry about it.


----------



## reaganmarsh (Jun 27, 2015)

Jimmy the Greek said:


> Pray. Read Proverbs. Fellowship with the saints. You'll do fine. Don't worry about it.



This. 

As a practical extra-biblical aid, my wife and I have been greatly helped by Tripp's book Shepherding a Child's Heart.


----------



## BGF (Jun 27, 2015)

An important thing to remember is YOU WILL FAIL! And you will do so frequently. Remember to repent and seek forgiveness when necessary, not only to and from each other but also your children. Let them see godly repentance in action. Do not hide your failures toward them behind the authority God has granted you.

Also, don't fret over the changing winds of secular child-rearing doctrine.


----------



## Jake (Jun 27, 2015)

I'm not the best to speak here, as someone recently married and without children, but I would like to suggest a book. We've recently started studying it in a small group and it seems excellent from what I've read thus far: Parenting by God's Promises by Joel Beeke.


----------



## Miss Marple (Jun 27, 2015)

May I recommend that you have daily family devotions, starting in infancy. An excellent place to prepare your child for church. You needn't make it long or difficult. Just regular. Singing, reading Scripture, and hearing Dad pray for them every day will cover a multitude of problems.


----------



## JohnJames (Jun 27, 2015)

Great tips here. 
Yeah, I pretty much accept that there's going to be sooo many blunders


----------



## Abeard (Jun 27, 2015)

I was also raised in a broken, undisciplined home. It is such a wonderful opportunity to show both your parents how a loving, godly family works 

From one young parent to another all I can say is.. Enjoy!

PS I found this sermon series by Albert Martin very helpfulhttp://www.sermonaudio.com/search.asp?subsetitem=How+NOT+to+Foul+Up+Parenting&subsetcat=series&keyword=Albert%5FN%2E%5FMartin&SpeakerOnly=true&currSection=sermonsspeaker&includekeywords=&ExactVerse=


----------



## Verkehrsteilnehmer (Jun 28, 2015)

Miss Marple said:


> May I recommend that you have daily family devotions, starting in infancy. An excellent place to prepare your child for church. You needn't make it long or difficult. Just regular. Singing, reading Scripture, and hearing Dad pray for them every day will cover a multitude of problems.



Miss Rothenbuhler's post is very good. And scroll now back to what Mr Frey wrote, that you will fail. But back again now to her post, if you lead family worship it will actually solve many of the problems of that day. Bringing your family with you, to draw near to God's thrown of grace is one of the most important things you will do each day and will benefit your family more than you can imagine. Now you won't hear this from most pulpits; even in reformed churches the subject of family worship is by and large ignored. Good references are throughout the Bible, Westminster Directory for Family Worship, books by Alexander, Beeke, etc.
Dave
PHX
OPC


----------



## solas4me (Jun 29, 2015)

Withold Not Correction by Bruce Ray.


----------



## Gforce9 (Jun 29, 2015)

When you have to administer the corrective side of discipline, don't do it while you're angry, if at all possible. When you do correct them, tell them why (because this is what is correct according to God's revelation and not for some subjective reason ie. it makes dad mad). If you make the latter the standard, what is right or wrong is ultimately determined by how dad feels that particular day. Make sure they know that you love them.


----------



## JoannaV (Jun 29, 2015)

In the beginning, as you respond to baby's hungry cries and wipe the dirty bottom (that could occur any time, however inconvenient) and rock baby at 3am...appreciate that you are given the opportunity to learn sacrificial love in these small physical ways before you later must love them through harder struggles. And enjoy that sweet babyhood! So much to praise God for!


----------



## Pergamum (Jun 29, 2015)

solas4me said:


> Withold Not Correction by Bruce Ray.



Yes! Excellent book.


----------



## Huckleberrylane (Jul 3, 2015)

Pergamum said:


> Avoid Garry Ezzo and Babywise is my first thought.



Their old stuff has some good things in it, but Babywise is newer and they've taken God out of it. Not sure how that works...


----------



## Warren (Jul 4, 2015)

Big Daddy opened my eyes.


----------

