# How to Make The Most of Limited Time With Family



## Theoretical (Jul 1, 2007)

Vocationally, law is looking to be a better option for me over at least the next 15 years, and that is what I will pursue. Sometime over the next 2-4 years, I am going to actively work to settle down and marry, either in law school or after it (finances would be ok in either situation).

My question comes from the fact that law firms are notorious for giving young attorneys 60+ hour workweeks (keeping in mind my Sabbatarianism - so 6 really long days, possibly), and I want to start processing others' ideas and thoughts on how husbands in these situations maximize the limited time they have with their spouses and kids. Essentially, what is lacking in quantity has to be made up with deep quality. Implementing regular family worship as a foundation of my household, even before we have kids, is a top priority in my life, so I'm already thinking how best to implement this in an hours-strained home. 

I have thought of a few things on this issue. While I already despise TV, it looks to be even more of a danger to family life in situations such as these, so that will be absent. Similarly, I will probably hard-cap or even self-prohibit my internet usage at home, since that can be an escapist distracter too. I also think it is important to make it a point to leave work at work as much as possible.

What actions and attitudes should I be planning towards while I still have a few years to go?


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## Theoretical (Jul 2, 2007)

*bump*


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## Puritanhead (Jul 2, 2007)

I think the ideal is to work for your own law practice and set your own hours or work as a government attorney in the military with a 40-hour work week. No one who works for the gov't ever does more than they are paid to do.


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## VictorBravo (Jul 2, 2007)

Theoretical said:


> My question comes from the fact that law firms are notorious for giving young attorneys 60+ hour workweeks (keeping in mind my Sabbatarianism - so 6 really long days, possibly), and I want to start processing others' ideas and thoughts on how husbands in these situations maximize the limited time they have with their spouses and kids. Essentially, what is lacking in quantity has to be made up with deep quality. Implementing regular family worship as a foundation of my household, even before we have kids, is a top priority in my life, so I'm already thinking how best to implement this in an hours-strained home.
> . . . .
> 
> What actions and attitudes should I be planning towards while I still have a few years to go?




I've been a lawyer since 1992. I've had my own firm and have worked in firms. I have rarely (but sometimes) had an issue about having to work on the Lord's Day. My approach is simple: at the very start, either in an interview or in obtaining clients, be gently firm about what you will and will not do. Be consistent.

I would sometimes get "emergency" calls on the weekend about some issue from some big-shot client who demanded a fix first thing Monday morning. I'd remind him of my commitment that I would work on his behalf during working hours, but my private time was not his business. I lost a few clients because of this, but they were worth losing.

And when I worked for a firm, I used the same approach. I got my work done beforehand. If a partner demanded that I come in on a Sunday, I'd remind him of his agreement that I would not work on the Lord's Day. I was let go once over this, but never waivered. Now I'm in a position in which it is never a problem.

Be consistent without being a jerk, get your work done beforehand, anticipate "emergencies", and draw boundaries. It can be done fruitfully and without being known as one who is 'holier than thou." If you consistently do good work, your boss and your clients will respect your boundaries and may even be intrigued by them.

Another thing I'd add is to definitely set some inviolable time to worship and study scripture at home with your wife, each week, and pray with her every day. Prioritize the home first, and fill in the remaining time with the demands of your career.

(Edit) I reread your post and realized I forgot to add one more thing. The trend among mid-sized to large firms these days is away from the 60 hour week. In my region, a more common goal is 45 hours per week. 2000 hours per year is considered to be fairly standard. It may differ in your region, but law firms are waking up to the fact that lawyers are people too, and they have families. They do better work if not burnt out.


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