# 10 REASONS WHY I AM A CALVINIST



## Arch2k (Dec 3, 2005)

1. Calvinists tend to wear wool and cotton. Dispensationalists tend to wear lime-green polyester leisure suits. 
2. John Calvin was French...being French is very chic.

3. Calvin sounds like Calvin Klein...and his clothes are very chic.

4. Calvinists can drink.

5. Calvinists can smoke.

6. Dispensationalists are into prophecy conferences where they talk about Star-Trek eschatology and the mark of the Beast. Calvinists have conferences on "life and culture", art, social justice and other high- brow things like that. Afterwards, we go to the local pub and talk about philosophy over a pint of Bass ale.

7. Calvinists have close ties with Scotland and Scotland is very cool: you know --Sean Connery, the movie Highlander, Bagpipes, the Loch Ness Monster, Glenlivet 18 year old Scotch, the movie Train Spotting, Brave Heart, etc.

8. Calvinists think we are smarter than anybody else.

9. It is more socially acceptable to say, "I go to Grace Presbyterian Church" than to say, "I go to Washed In The Blood Worship Center", "I go to Sonlife Charismatic Believers Assembly", or to say "I go to Boston Berean Bible Believing Baptist Bethel", or to say "I go to the Latter-Day- Rain Deliverance Tabernacle Prophecy Center, Inc.", or to say "I go to the Philadelphia Church of the Majority Text", or to say "I go to the Lithuanian Apostolic Orthodox Autocephalic Church of the Baltic union of 1838".

10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Dec 3, 2005)

_Je suis Calvinist et je suis d'accord._


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## Bladestunner316 (Dec 3, 2005)

But Star Trek does'nt have eschatology!!!!


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## Me Died Blue (Dec 3, 2005)

I had posted a link to this here awhile back, but actually the link doesn't even work anymore, so this thread's not in vain!


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## Pergamum (Dec 3, 2005)

I am a Calvinist because....


I always wanted to be a flower child, but I despise hippies..

Because Armenia, where all the Armenians live, was in the Soviet Union...and I hate commies...

Because it sounds just so cool to say infralapserianism...wow, that rolls off the tongue nice.

I originally wanted to be a solipsist...but I couldn't find anyone who would take me seriously....


Because the Puritans wore some mad wigs, dude!


Because Jonathan Edwards was "Da BOMB!"


Because, like, my lucky number,you know is five..and I was like, wow, how weird, five points, and, I was like, neato..I am all down with that....



Here is a predestination limerick I found on the web:


There was a young man who said, 
"œman! 
I now understand that I am 
A being that moves 
In predestinate grooves, 
Not a car, not a bus, but a tram"

...and here is an Arminian reply: 

The young fellow then thought, 
"œNo, 
It is not necessarily so, 
The argument fails, 
I can lay my own rails, 
And go where I want to go."




Trevor


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## Devin (Dec 3, 2005)

I am a Calvinist because Calvin wore some pretty awesome hats.


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## CalsFarmer (Dec 3, 2005)

Oh wow and Ithought we were Calvinists because that was the only doctrinal school of thought that MADE SENSE....


foolish me....


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## turmeric (Dec 3, 2005)

Nope, I agree, it's Calvin's hat. That thing is outrageous!


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Dec 3, 2005)




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## Mike (Dec 3, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Devin_
> I am a Calvinist because Calvin wore some pretty awesome hats.


If hats were the deciding factor, we ought all be Romanists.










Nay, facial hair must be our deciding factor.


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## Joseph Ringling (Dec 3, 2005)

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_



Wow, Calvin was really GQ. A Kangol hat with a minx coat. Smooth. :bigsmile:


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## Ivan (Dec 3, 2005)

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_
> _Je suis Calvinist et je suis d'accord._



Oui.


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## biblelighthouse (Dec 7, 2005)

I'm a Calvinist because . . .

No, wait! I'm not a Calvinist; I'm an Augustinian!

No, wait! I'm not an Augustinian, I'm Pauline!

No, wait . . . I'm DAVIDIC!


"Blessed is the man *You choose,
And cause to approach You*,
That he may dwell in Your courts." (Psalm 65:4)


No, no, no . . . I finally have it! I'm MOSAIC!!! 

"*In the beginning, God*" (Genesis 1:1)



John Calvin was just involved in plagarism. He was actually a Mosaic Davidic Pauline Augustinian!!


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## turmeric (Dec 7, 2005)

_I_ am of Christ! 

This post possibly breaks the 3rd Commandment, sorry!

[Edited on 12-7-2005 by turmeric]


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