# Being around cool loving people and still lonely



## Anton Bruckner (Jul 8, 2005)

Have you guys ever experienced this. I could understand not having any friends and being lonely, but my case I got close friends that I know since 12 years old, great family, people who are loving to me etc, and yet I guess I feel lonely.

I mean the other day I was haunted at the prospect that during the 4th of July Barbcue my family usually keeps, that in 20 years many would not be there, possibly even my parents. Man, the anguish is relenting. I am not saying that I wasn't or am not thankful for these people, but the very fact that these things come to an end is heartaching.

Take for example, my Aunt's husband had died in 2003, while we mourned, life had to continue, subsequently my Aunt got blessed with 3 grand children, the 3rd on his way in November. But the very addition and subtraction, and the passing of people is driving me nuts.

Presently my grand parents are very old, my grandfather is senile, and my grandmother cannot be the housewife that she was, so my father had to hire someone to help them. But the very fact, that they will pass away soon, then my parents will possibly occupy their position, and the cycle will continue of joy, sorrow, sorrow, joy. Isn't there a permanent happiness in this world that we can hold unto, that doesn't dissipates. Its almost nerve wrecking, and the sad thing is, I cannot but help, most of the times taking these happiness for granted with my procrastination and sloth in how I deal with these people.

Now, here comes the biggie. To know that some of these people that you love sincerely, will not be in heaven. Even more nerve wrecking. The other night I was coming home from the Barbcue with my Uncle, 2 cousins, and 1 friend. My friend and I are saved, but the conversation of my uncle and two cousins, ahd casual foul language in it. I mean these are people I love dearly, and they are in danger of hell fire.

uuuuuuuuuuugh life.

Don't get me wrong, it is good, a very good thing to be saved, but at times it comes with waaaaaaaay too much sorrow. And this is in addition to when the Lord chastizes you, and others mock you, and decide that your trial is evidence that your faith is invalid, and you have to keep your mouth shut and endure it, and whenever you speak, they are too hardened and stupid to understand what you are saying.



[Edited on 7-8-2005 by Slippery]


----------



## Robin (Jul 9, 2005)

Whomever the Lord has adopted and deemed worthy of his fellowship ought to prepare themselves for a hard, toilsome, and unquiet life, crammed with very many and various kinds of evil. It is the Heavenly Father's will thus to exercise them so as to put his own children to a definite test. Beginning with Christ, his first-born, he follows this plan with all his children. --John Calvin, The Institutes of the Christian Religion [1559]

Robin


----------



## VanVos (Jul 9, 2005)

Life is tough. Especially for the true christian. Act 14:21-22 2 Tim 3:12.
But it's all in preperation for glory 2 Cor 4:17 Rom 8:18. We've only got this life to be conformed to the image of Chirst Rom 8:29 God is not going allow me to enter eternity without first dealing with my sin Heb 12:5-7. Be encouraged, it's going to get better 1 Cor 3:18. 

VanVos

[Edited on 7-9-2005 by VanVos]


----------



## blhowes (Jul 9, 2005)

I praise the Lord that, though the paths He brings us down are sometimes rough, mixed with sadness and joy, that He is with us every step of the way. 

When life seems to be a bummer, I (and I'm sure you do too) find it encouraging to just mediate on the scriptures - it helps me keep things in perspective.

In another thread, Scott shared these verses with me:

Joh 6:67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? 
Joh 6:68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. 
Joh 6:69 And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. 

When the negatives around us get us down, there's sometimes the tendancy for our focus to go in the wrong direction. When we see the negatives, we need to remind ourselves to focus on and head toward Jesus. As Jesus said:

Mat 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. 

Another verse that helps me deal with some of the things you described is Matthew 6:34, which helps me stay focused:

Mat 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. 

I try not to dwell too much on the future, though I don't always succeed. Taking life one day at a time, and resting in God's providence for today and the future, helps me deal with things.

I think your post is very practical in that it reminds us that those we love may not be with us in the near future, and perhaps for eternity. We need to make good use of the time that God has given us...NOW!


----------



## Anton Bruckner (Jul 9, 2005)

fellow siblings thank you a lot for the encouragement. Taking it one day at a time is what I guess I have to put in practice. And I also have to realize that God's will in me is my sanctification, hence my happiness has to be refocused on His will for my life.

But I guess its hard at times, whenever you are a Christian, and you become overly attached to things of this world, that you get very sorrowful when you realize that its all passing away, and these things wouldn't be around within 20 years.

ps. thanks especially for those scriptures, and Robin thanks especially for that John Calvin quote. Funny thing is I read it, but appropriating God's truth is what defeats me.

[Edited on 7-10-2005 by Slippery]


----------



## Larry Hughes (Jul 9, 2005)

Robin, 

Yet another great quote from John C. That even helps me.

Keon,

I know what you are going through. Before I was married but after I converted I began to feel more and more alone in the world. I was excited about the faith that before I was literally blinded to. But everyone else though nice about it just didn't seem to have the excitement I experienced. And that bothered me deeply. And I'm talking about professing Christians here. 

Then I married a wonderful wife and that helped, had a couple of babies. But even now, and it bothers my wife, I go into these dark modes of emptiness. It is worse than anything physical I can think of. She helps pull me out when I need it.

My wife says I look at the negatives too much, some truth to that I suppose. It hits me at times that most people would laugh and wonder why? I'm not kidding. I'll watch a movie or hear about some news that has some underlying philosophy about life and all things in it and afterwards I talk to my wife about it. It depresses me some times. I'll tell her, "Do you realize that the majority of people will die believing that."

Calvin commenting on the persecution of Isaac by Ishmael in the form of mockery said that sometimes that is the way it happens - in the form of ideas and things coming at us to militate against our faith in Christ. That it is not always the sword. He made a powerful point I think many of us could identify with, yet miss, that are not under physical persecution. In a sense that the mental and spiritual can be worse. He said that he would rather the whole countryside be in one huge conflagration than suffer to hear the teachings of those against Christ whom was the dearest treasure to his soul. I think I know what he means.

Larry

[Edited on 7-10-2005 by Larry Hughes]


----------

