# Children Learning Doctrine from Inlaws



## Kinghezy (Dec 15, 2018)

My parents have a different understanding of doctrine than my wife and myself. I grew up Methodist, and in the last couple years they have moved to a Assembly of God (or one of those). My mother has also expressed sentiments that are clearly wrong, like that Jesus is created -- which she backpedaled on when confronted. My sense is mainly that they do not devote a lot of time discriminating good from bad doctrine.

In a couple weeks, they will be watching our children (1, 4 and 6). We need to have a conversation with them to make it clear that we do not want them teaching doctrine, since especially the oldest will take anything in.

Does anyone have experience / suggestions on how to approach this graciously? I expect feelings to get hurt, but I would like to limit that as much as possible.

Thank you in advance for any insights!


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## Scott Bushey (Dec 15, 2018)

Tough one; It would seem problematic in that u don't want to disrespect your parents. I would just correct the things as they came up with my children. If your parents are not theologically inclined, correcting them will generally produce no real fruit as they cannot process the information-it may be too much for them or they will just brush it off as opinion. 

All of us go through this stuff; I just correct the errors as they rear their heads.


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## Jack K (Dec 15, 2018)

It might be just as important, or more important, to have a talk with your kids. We had to explain to our kids that certain relatives, even though they claimed to be Christians, believed things that were not true according to the Bible.

That's a bit of an awkward discussion, especially since you want the kids to still respect their grandparents, and because there may also be some ways that the grandparents are strong in faith and will model Christ well. But given the way our world is, with its many versions of "Christianity," it's a topic you're eventually going to want to bring up with your kids anyway. A six-year-old should be capable of understanding this, and of understanding how it's still important to respect and obey one's grandparents, how grateful you are for the grandparents, and how the grandparents still get much right.

Then, after the time spent with the grandparents, ask your kids if they have any questions. Did they learn anything about God? Let's talk about that. It's good practice for the many times to come that you will have to discuss odd things they might hear about God and the Bible.

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## Alan D. Strange (Dec 15, 2018)

@Kinghezy 

Chris:

I agree that the children can and should (as age appropriate) be properly addressed with respect to these matters (as previous posters noted). But so, of course, should your parents.

It's not a matter of correcting, or seeming to correct, your parents. You need to make it clear to them, in love and with humility, that you do not expect them to teach your children anything contrary to what you teach them. This can be done in a kind and firm way that makes your position clear.

But you do need to make this clear to them. They need to respect you as the parents of the children (as well as you respecting them as your parents). Tell them this plainly and seek their agreement to such stipulations. 

They may be offended, but they have no right to be offended; you, however, have an obligation to train your children properly and should not fail to address your parents. They should not act contrary to the spiritual interests of your children: you need to let them know your expectations in this regard.

Peace,
Alan

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## Kinghezy (Dec 20, 2018)

Thank you all very much for your feedback. I think there is some useful points in all.


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## jwithnell (Dec 20, 2018)

Have you been teaching a catechism to your children? If not, you could start them on the Children's Catechism then send it to your parents to do a few questions a day. It's not as distinctively reformed, but it is solid. Your youngest could be drawn in with hand motions: ("God made all things" with a dramatic sweeping of the arms.) If you already have a catechism, or adopt this one, your children would be receiving helpful instruction and your parents could feel like they're "doing their duty" in teaching the grands.


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## Kinghezy (Dec 20, 2018)

jwithnell said:


> Have you been teaching a catechism to your children? If not, you could start them on the Children's Catechism then send it to your parents to do a few questions a day. It's not as distinctively reformed, but it is solid. Your youngest could be drawn in with hand motions: ("God made all things" with a dramatic sweeping of the arms.) If you already have a catechism, or adopt this one, your children would be receiving helpful instruction and your parents could feel like they're "doing their duty" in teaching the grands.


No. That is a good idea. I at one point had but didn't establish a pattern. We have a point during supper where we discuss a scripture passage, so adding a catechism question or two would fit in well. Thanks!

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