# When family worship conflicts with 'small group Bible study'



## Tim (Jan 14, 2010)

I am using the Westminster Directory for Family Worship as a basis for this discussion. 

I am concerned that various 'home' or 'cell' groups can detract from the mandate for daily family worship. At my local Cape Town church, most 'home groups' meet Wednesday nights at 7:30pm. When I arrive at that time, no family or persons ever mention having just done their family worship. Indeed, I have never heard anyone at my local church who engages in family worship, as Westminster describes it.

In contrast, when my pastor at my home church in Canada would meet with me in the evenings, it was always scheduled around his family worship time (i.e., after). He clearly demonstrated that his priority was his family, and I agree.

Is there a point where my participation in such church groups detracts from a culture of family worship that _should_ be there? I know that I could do my worship in the morning (I am a family of one), but it might be difficult to fit all that in. Frankly, I sometimes benefit more when I am on my own, particularly because I can sing the Psalms. 

Is private family worship to be preferred over your common 'small group' Bible study?


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## Kevin (Jan 14, 2010)

No. Niether is to be prefered.

(didn't we have this talk over a couple of pints about 4 years ago?)


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## jogri17 (Jan 14, 2010)

My natural instincts tell me that neither are commanded to do though I think in Christian wisdom family ought to take priority but this is where we must make a distinction between Law and Wisdom. It may be wise for one Christian to do one thing over the other.


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## Wayne (Jan 14, 2010)

Your Canadian pastor was setting an excellent example, though I can easily picture a scenario in which a family might have their own times of worship together through the week, except on a night when they host a group study. In effect the group study takes the place of family worship that evening, but they are still spending time in prayer, and the children are seeing lived out an additional example of Christian fellowship, study and worship.


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## shaungreen (Jan 15, 2010)

We engage fully in both kinds of activities by keeping the family worship simple.

Regardless of "what's on", we almost always manage to eat breakfast and supper together. Our family worship follows immediately afterwards. This usually consists of four things:
1. Read and discuss a short piece of Scripture (approx. 5 minutes)
2. Sing/Practice/Learn/Memorize a Psalm (approx. 3 minutes)
3. Pray about a few items on the Church Bulletin and/or our own Prayer Lists (approx. 5 minutes)
4. Help the children to work out the answers to their catechism questions for their Sunday Catechism classes. (approx. 5 minutes - evening only)

This only takes between fifteen and twenty minutes. In my experience, taking longer does not encourage attention among the younger children.

The eating and washing up takes longer than the worship, and yet we still seem to find the time for that! ;-)

It is also tremendously encouraging for worshipping families to invite non-worshipping families to an occasional meal for the purposes of demonstration. This means that it is only the first two or three families that will need to struggle slightly to learn how. Fortunately some folk seem to enjoy a little struggle. After that it becomes more of a visiting exercise.

...and of course to be consistent with Deuteronomy 6, family worship should not end when we stand up from the table


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## Tim (Jan 15, 2010)

Kevin said:


> No. Niether is to be prefered.
> 
> (didn't we have this talk over a couple of pints about 4 years ago?)


 
I can't remember, Kevin! I know we had a good discussion about EP, though!

Thanks for your comments, gentlemen.


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## CatherineL (Jan 15, 2010)

When we participated in a small group, we did not do family worship that night. There just was not enough time - dad gets home at 6, group starts at 6 ( so we're late!), gets done at 8, the kids (all under 5) crash on the way home from group. It would seem a good alternative would be to do family worship in the mornings, but for us it would be very rushed, since the kids were barely awake when Dad would leave.

My experience is that pastors generally have more flexible schedules than many people with regular jobs, so can make things like that work more easily. Its one of the reasons we're actually sitting out of our small group right now - it was too much rushing and our family felt like we barely communicated on that night.


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## Scott1 (Jan 15, 2010)

In a general sense, dependent family is a first priority after God.

But I really wouldn't view daily formal family worship as a sacrosanct ritual. 

Even the sabbath, established in the Ten Commandments and creation before has exceptions for mercy and necessity.

While the sabbath is an entire day "set apart" for "ceasing" so that one may prioritize worship, public and private worship (including family worship) we can't quite extend that to every other day.

It would be hard to imagine that if one lead his family in observing the sabbath, had a set family worship time five nights and joined in corporate worship the sixth night that that could reflect priorities out of balance.


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## Tim (Jan 16, 2010)

I am just trying to think of how to encourage folks that a weekly Bible study is just not enough, you need to be doing this sort of thing everyday with your family. I agree with above comments that it need not be prolonged and perhaps should be viewed slightly different than the Sabbath, which is more 'tightly regulated' (this may not be the best choice of words, but you know what I mean).


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## Scott1 (Jan 16, 2010)

Tim said:


> I am just trying to think of how to encourage folks that a weekly Bible study is just not enough, you need to be doing this sort of thing everyday with your family. I agree with above comments that it need not be prolonged and perhaps should be viewed slightly different than the Sabbath, which is more 'tightly regulated' (this may not be the best choice of words, but you know what I mean).


 
Yes, Tim.

Family worship is one aspect of worship and men need to lead in this in their homes.

The reason it seems the sabbath is very different is that the other half of the fourth commandment is to work six days. Of course we know this does not mean every minute of the other six days we must work and we know it does not mean any form of worship (individual, family or corporate) is prohibited on the other six days .

The reality as I understand it is the sabbath does command a prioritization of worship all the day, and God even implicitly promises to provide and bless if we set aside the ordinary work and play of the rest of the week. He provides for this in His "economy" and in faith, we will not starve as a life pattern by not working on the sabbath.

But we have to say the other six days are prioritized other ways.

Here's a possible way a head of household can "grow" into this:

1) An individual quiet time of Bible reading and meditation and prayer each morning. The man leads in this and encourages other family members to do the same.

2) Work on prioritizing worship (individual, family and corporate) the sabbath, all the Day. This is huge, and big part of the regulative principle as God has it.

3) Pray with your family before bed

4) Add evening short devotional times around a passage of Scripture with prayer

5) Develop an extended time (e.g. 50 minutes) of Bible reading, discussion and prayer on nights other than the sabbath.

Also, while this may not directly answer your post, we can often have "religious conversation" that directs our thoughts toward God, His Word and prayer in the ordinary course of life, trusting God for the results. The more one studies the Word, the more one sees its application to every situation, all of life, every family member, every friend, everyone.


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## TexanRose (Jan 27, 2010)

Tim said:


> Is private family worship to be preferred over your common 'small group' Bible study?



I see that this conversation is a week old, so I hope you don't mind my contributing.

I am blessed to be a part of a church where family worship is (as far as I can tell) universally practiced, both morning and evening, every day of the week including on the Sabbath. We don't have any small groups or Bible studies, but we do have a prayer meeting Wednesday nights at 7:30. I think most families have worship after church that night. The little ones may have fallen asleep by then, but family worship is still conducted for the benefit of those who are still awake. Family worship need only take fifteen minutes if time is limited--that would include prayer, singing 4-6 stanzas of a psalm (1650 Psalter), reading a chapter of the Bible, and prayer again. 

We don't worry about scheduling worship around our guests because we generally assume that guests will be participating in worship with us. In fact, if a guest begins to look at his watch and say "Well, I really ought to be going," that's our cue to pass out the Bibles and Psalters.


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## Tim (Jan 28, 2010)

Thanks, Sharon. You are right that it need not take a long time for family worship. I think I am going to try to work in both, I have my personal duty, but also want to encourage my brothers and sisters who may not have seen such a practice before.


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## reformedminister (Jan 28, 2010)

I have been married for almost twelve years. My wife had two boys from a previous marriage (scriptural divorce) and then we had a daughter together. We have been having family worship through the week, sometimes more consistent than others, because of other activities that detract. I have found that family worship is crucial in developing spirituality within the family unit. The boys are grown now but my oldest stepson is often asked to lead our head pastors Sunday School class, when he is detained. His knowledge of doctrine is way above average compared to the rest of the class. I attribute most of it to our discussions during family worship. Unfortunately, many within the reformed/presbyterian camp have ignored the importance of family worship, which is either due to a lack of church leadership encouraging it or lack of spiritual discipline. I agree that small group studies throughout the week could detract from family worship but for those that don't engage in family worship, it is all they have. For those who have family worship on the other nights, the small group studies could be a good alternative for that night.


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