# Democrat, Republican, or Southern Democrat?



## Semper Fidelis (Mar 6, 2006)

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? 

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: 
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. 
What do you do? 


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Democrat's Answer: 

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! 

Does the man look poor, or oppressed? 

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? 

Could we run away? 

What does my wife think? 

What about the kids? 

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? 

What does the law say about this situation? 

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? 

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? 

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? 

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? 

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? 

Should I call 9-1-1? 

Why is this street so deserted? 

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. 

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. 


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Republican's Answer: 

BANG! 


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Southern Republican's Answer: 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click..... 

(sounds of reloading) 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click 

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points? 

Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one? 

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!


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## RamistThomist (Mar 6, 2006)

Sho 'Nuff.
The versions I have seen have, "daddy, he's still moving!' BANG BANG BANG


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## Anton Bruckner (Mar 7, 2006)

Bang, Bang, and I live in Yankee North make it bang, bang, then poke him with a stick to make sure he's incapacitated.


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## Arch2k (Mar 7, 2006)

Where's the Jack Bauer approach, which is torcher the guy until he tells you who he is working for?


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## govols (Mar 7, 2006)

You forgot the picture of the terrorist with the family afterwards.

The guys back at work won't believe me so I'll get a picture.


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## VictorBravo (Mar 7, 2006)

Mine has eleven rounds before reloading.

Vic


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Mar 7, 2006)

On a serious note, something like this happened this week in my hometown. It has been interesting to see the reactions at a bastion of liberalism.
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Driver at UNC Cites Vengeance for Muslims

Associated Press
Tuesday, March 7, 2006

CHAPEL HILL, N.C., March 6 -- A University of North Carolina graduate from Iran, accused of running down nine people on campus to avenge the treatment of Muslims, said at a hearing Monday that he was "thankful for the opportunity to spread the will of Allah."

Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar was accused of driving a sport-utility vehicle through the Pit, a popular campus gathering spot, injuring nine people Friday. None of the victims was seriously hurt.

University Police Chief Derek Poarch said Taheri-azar told investigators he intentionally hit people to "avenge the deaths of Muslims around the world." In a 911 call after the incident, Taheri-azar said he wanted to "punish the government of the United States for their actions around the world."

Taheri-azar, 22, appeared in Orange County District Court on nine counts of attempted murder and nine counts of assault.

His bail was set at $5.5 million and he was assigned a public defender, but he said after the hearing: "The truth is my lawyer."

Taheri-azar graduated from North Carolina in December after studying psychology and philosophy. Investigators believe he has spent most of his life in the United States.

On campus, UNC students held what they called an "anti-terrorism" rally. "We don't want terrorism here, and we're not going to stand for that where we live and where we go to school," said Kris Wampler, a student at UNC and member of the College Republicans, which helped organize the rally.

About 50 students attended the rally, including several Muslim students who debated with organizers and said Taheri-azar had not been linked to any terrorist group.

"When you think in terms of a global context, this was an isolated incident," said student Khurram Bilal Tariq, 22.

Stephen Mann, an 18-year-old freshman, said he was not singling out Islam with his call to label Friday's incident terrorism. He said a member of any religion who did what Taheri-azar is accused of doing should be called a terrorist.

"If you try to hurt someone in the name of a cause, that's terrorism," he said.
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UNC students debate attack as 'terrorism'

BY JAMIE SCHUMAN : The Herald-Sun
[email protected]
Mar 6, 2006 : 9:09 pm ET

CHAPEL HILL -- A rally at UNC on Monday turned into a heated debate between protestors who were calling on university administrators to label Friday's attack as "terrorism" and students who thought the protest was divisive and insensitive to Muslims.

About 20 students gathered in The Pit, a gathering point near the center of UNC's campus where Friday's attack occurred, to "condemn religious violence" and to ask UNC administrators and the news media to call last week's crime terrorism, organizers wrote in a news release.

Nine students were injured after being hit by a Jeep Grand Cherokee allegedly driven by Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar, a recent UNC graduate. When Taheri-azar, a native of Iran, called 911 to turn himself in, he said he attacked the students to "punish the government of the United States for their actions around the world." University police have said he specifically intended to avenge the deaths of Muslims.

Monday's protestors had intended to give speeches about their aim, but those plans were scuttled following a large and impromptu debate about the message that the rally sent to Muslim students.

Jonathan Pourzal, a UNC sophomore, told the protestors that their mission offended him. He said attempts to label the alleged crimes as terrorism strengthen prejudices against Muslims.

"By calling it religious violence, you are telling people that Muslims are violent," Pourzal said.

But Stephen Mann, a UNC freshman who fielded the comments from Pourzal and about five other students, said he and other protesters were not trying to single out people of a certain religion.

"We don't want any kind of violence," Mann said. "We don't want religious violence. We don't want terrorism."

The students stood at the steps of The Pit and debated the topic for about 30 minutes, while the crowd surrounding them swelled to about 40.

Some students who disagreed with the protest said they doubted that such a rally would have occurred if the alleged criminal had been white and Christian. But Mann said it would have taken place.

"Until we start condemning this, it's going to keep happening," he said.

The rally's primary sponsors were the UNC College Republicans; Americans for an Informed Democracy, a non-partisan organization aimed at raising global awareness at college campuses; and the Foundation for the Defense of Democracies, a national group aimed at fighting terrorism.

The students who participated handed out American flags -- a large box of which was nearly full towards the end of the rally -- and held signs with slogans such as "United we stand" and "They were innocent victims."

Kris Wampler, a UNC senior who helped plan the protest, said that, while his main goal was to get people to call the act terrorism, he is glad that the event provided a forum for discussion.

"Before, people were not discussing this in public," Wampler said. "Now it's out in the open."

But some students said Monday's rally was not the correct way to discuss the issues.

Khurram Tariq, a UNC senior, said the protest isolated, instead of unified, students. He said that he and some friends are planning to create a newsletter in which Muslims and others can express their viewpoints.

"We need outlets for Muslim students to express themselves, so events like Friday's do not happen again," Tariq said.

And Timothy Lee, a UNC sophomore, said the American flags sent the message that students who did not participate in the rally are not American.

Chancellor James Moeser said in a statement on Sunday in response to the crime that campus leaders will organize an "appropriate campus event to bring us together" after spring break.

[Edited on 3-7-2006 by VirginiaHuguenot]


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## py3ak (Mar 7, 2006)

> "If you try to hurt someone in the name of a cause, that's terrorism," he said.



If he is correct, then abortion is terrorism.


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