# Is the Public Worship of God better than Your Wedding Day/Marriage?



## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

Maybe I should ask the question: What do you desire more? To be married or to worship the Lord with the body of Christ?


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## Oecolampadius (May 29, 2009)

I really wanted to say "I can't believe you are actually asking us to answer" but I didn't want to presume that you're not being serious.


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## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

This is a free country (well kinda), you don't HAVE to answer, at least on the PB, which is not been turned over to Socialism, at least I don't think.


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## Oecolampadius (May 29, 2009)

Romans922 said:


> This is a free country (well kinda), you don't HAVE to answer, at least on the PB, which is not been turned over to Socialism, at least I don't think.



You're thinking the same exact way THEY want you to think; Just like a frog that's being cooked in a slowly boiling pot.


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## Grace Alone (May 29, 2009)

I think it is a very strange question, but considering that my wedding day was a blur (due to nerves and excitement), I would have to say that the public worship of God would be my answer and actually SHOULD be the answer to the question.


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## TimV (May 29, 2009)

I'll not assume you're one of those who think the Song of Songs isn't talking about what it's talking about.

If I had a choice between staying home three Sunday services in a row and finding and marrying a nice Christian lady I would miss the three Sunday services.

And I pity the poor woman who's husband or prospective mate would treat her like such trash than to say otherwise.

BUT......You might be saying "If someone put a gun to your head and made you choose between getting married or never going to church again in your life, which would you choose?" In that case, I would point out that choosing between things that don't have to be chosen between is silly.

BUT.......I could be missing the point of the question.


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## Ivan (May 29, 2009)

First, I can't believe you're asking the question...but than again I don't really get the point.

BUT...I'd choose the worship of God. That will be for eternity. I need the practice.


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## Turtle (May 29, 2009)

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

bryan
tampa, fl
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## smhbbag (May 29, 2009)

> I'll not assume you're one of those who think the Song of Songs isn't talking about what it's talking about.
> 
> If I had a choice between staying home three Sunday services in a row and finding and marrying a nice Christian lady I would miss the three Sunday services.
> 
> And I pity the poor woman who's husband or prospective mate would treat her like such trash than to say otherwise.



Agreed on all points. And I"m not the least bit ashamed or embarrassed to say that I will remember the day God joined us together stronger, more clearly, and with greater feeling than I will probably remember any occasion of public worship. Of course that is not to say I don't still hear excellent sermons and readings ringing in my head years after the fact...but the two don't compare.


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## Berean (May 29, 2009)

What prompted this question? Just curious.


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## historyb (May 29, 2009)

Would not marriage be a form of Worship for the Christian? I remember back to my wedding day 12 years ago and it was one of the best things to happen to me.


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## Oecolampadius (May 29, 2009)

Ivan said:


> BUT...I'd choose the worship of God. That will be for eternity. I need the practice.





I also would like to add that, from the perspective of a man who is happily married and still reminisces about his wedding day, I (and my wife too) view Christ's relationship with his bride, the church, as the standard for my own marital relationship with my wife.

Ephesians 5:22-33



> 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
> 
> 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.



Every Lord's Day, my wife and I are especially reminded of Christ's relationship with her bride, that he "gave himself up for her" and this bride submits herself to her Lord. Every Lord's Day, wherein we properly observe the public worship of God, I am reminded that Christ is my standard in my role as a husband and my wife is reminded that her being in a role of submission to her husband is nothing to be ashamed of but instead brings honor to her. That is why the public worship of God is more important to us. I can reminisce all I want about our wedding day but I sincerely believe that doing so will not strengthen our marriage more than the public worship of God does every week.


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## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

historyb said:


> Would not marriage be a form of Worship for the Christian? I remember back to my wedding day 12 years ago and it was one of the best things to happen to me.



It is but not a public form.


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## Confessor (May 29, 2009)

I don't know if it makes me an unbeliever or something, but I would much prefer to be married on some day than attend a service.

Gotta admit, it's a pretty weird question though.


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## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

Berean said:


> What prompted this question? Just curious.



Nothing really, just a thought in my head.


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## historyb (May 29, 2009)

Romans922 said:


> historyb said:
> 
> 
> > Would not marriage be a form of Worship for the Christian? I remember back to my wedding day 12 years ago and it was one of the best things to happen to me.
> ...


I might disagree with that because most are down in public with full Church services as such.


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## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

TimV said:


> I'll not assume you're one of those who think the Song of Songs isn't talking about what it's talking about.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



OKAY, misinterpreting the OP (probably my fault), and Ben is misinterpreting this too, by saying


> I would much prefer to be married on some day than attend a service.



This is about what is the greater of two blessings (contrary to the lesser of two evils). Is marriage a better blessing then the worship of God with God's people? This has nothing to do with what you'd want to do on a specific day. This has to do with what you view as more important in your life, I guess it would be a hypothetical question. 

Chose between if you could get married or if you could worship publicly with God's people, what would you do? Maybe that is a better question.



> If I had a choice between staying home three Sunday services in a row and finding and marrying a nice Christian lady I would miss the three Sunday services.



So are you saying that you would break the Lord's commandment to keep the Sabbath day holy, in order to find a spouse?


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## AThornquist (May 29, 2009)

Confessor said:


> I don't know if it makes me an unbeliever or something, but I would much prefer to be married on some day than attend a service.
> 
> Gotta admit, it's a pretty weird question though.



I concur.

Oh. I must have misinterpreted as well. In that case I would choose worship. No contest.


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## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

historyb said:


> Romans922 said:
> 
> 
> > historyb said:
> ...



Sorry, should have been more clear again. When I am saying 'public worship', I mean the public worship that is commanded by God to be done on the Lord's Day.

A wedding, which is a public event, is at least according to the Puritans (PB), not a worship service, but a civil event. But THIS IS FOR A DIFFERENT POST. Start another post if you want to talk about if Weddings are a worship service, gathering of public worship. This could be a long tangent if we stayed on that topic. Thanks.


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## Confessor (May 29, 2009)

Romans922 said:


> This has nothing to do with what you'd want to do on a specific day. This has to do with what you view as more important in your life, I guess it would be a hypothetical question.



Well, it's an odd question, then, due to the fact that we get to worship God weekly with the saints. So if you ask which we enjoy more, a once-in-a-lifetime event, or a weekly one, many people will pick the former. This is not to denigrate corporate worship at all; it is merely to stress that a rarer event would be chosen.

If both occurred with the same frequency (which would be rather weird), I'd choose worship.


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## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

Confessor said:


> Romans922 said:
> 
> 
> > This has nothing to do with what you'd want to do on a specific day. This has to do with what you view as more important in your life, I guess it would be a hypothetical question.
> ...




Marriage is not a once in a lifetime event, a wedding is (which is also a possibility in this poll), but marriage is not, it begins with the wedding or civil meeting, but it lasts the rest of the time you are alive.


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## LawrenceU (May 29, 2009)

Brother, with all respect it seems that you are trying too hard to figure out the relative importance of things. The two things you mention are not even comparable.


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## Confessor (May 29, 2009)

Romans922 said:


> Confessor said:
> 
> 
> > Romans922 said:
> ...



Ah...so the two options are (1) be married and not attend worship for the remainder of our lives, or (2) be celibate and attend worship. Is that correct?

If so, I'd definitely choose the latter.


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## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

LawrenceU said:


> Brother, with all respect it seems that you are trying too hard to figure out the relative importance of things. The two things you mention are not even comparable.



Why not, one can be an idol (marriage), the other cannot (worshipping God with the body of Christ). OH, maybe that is why I am asking. 

One lasts for your lifetime (marriage), one points to eternity, where you will be doing it forever and ever (worship).


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## Confessor (May 29, 2009)

Romans922 said:


> LawrenceU said:
> 
> 
> > Brother, with all respect it seems that you are trying too hard to figure out the relative importance of things. The two things you mention are not even comparable.
> ...



Well, in that case, you've got your answer, right? If you can declare one option idolatrous and the other not, then certainly you don't need our opinions for confirmation. Idolatry is idolatry.


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## Romans922 (May 29, 2009)

Confessor said:


> Romans922 said:
> 
> 
> > Confessor said:
> ...



SURE, that works. I wouldn't put it that way, but that is a good way to put it! 

-----Added 5/29/2009 at 10:25:42 EST-----



Confessor said:


> Romans922 said:
> 
> 
> > LawrenceU said:
> ...



1) just making sure that you understand that I said it "CAN" be an idol.

2) Yes, maybe I have my answer, but this is a poll so we can see how everyone answers.


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## smhbbag (May 29, 2009)

> One lasts for your lifetime (marriage), one points to eternity



They _both_ point to eternity, but I don't want to nit-pick words.

I will venture to say that a man will learn more about true worship (becoming a living sacrifice) through marriage than through meetings on the Lord's day in the vast majority of cases. Marriage will put a man to his knees in prayer, humble him, encourage him, and refine him in a way that very little else can. 

And I think it is very dangerous to believe the God is more honored, or we should be more happy, in public worship on the Lord's Day than He is in the midst of a disagreement in marriage handled well, or by careful planning to surprise and delight a spouse, enjoyment of the marriage bed, mutual prayer, family worship time, etc.


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## LawrenceU (May 29, 2009)

I think I understand where you are coming from, I think. But, the interrogative still sounds somewhat gnostic/dualistic to me.


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## TimV (May 29, 2009)

> If I had a choice between staying home three Sunday services in a row and finding and marrying a nice Christian lady I would miss the three Sunday services.





> So are you saying that you would break the Lord's commandment to keep the Sabbath day holy, in order to find a spouse?



Finding a spouse isn't breaking the Sabbath.

Would you rather kill one of your children or not go to church for 4 months. Which one. 'cause it's the same sort of question you asked.


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## Whitefield (May 29, 2009)

I don't see the logical disjunction.


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## OPC'n (May 29, 2009)

Actually, mankind is quite capable of turning anything into an idol even "worshipping God" according to the RPW.


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## Pergamum (May 29, 2009)

I had a lot more fun after my wedding day than I usually do after church.


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## Whitefield (May 29, 2009)

Pergamum said:


> I had a lot more fun after my wedding day than I usually do after church.


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## Blue Tick (May 29, 2009)

Public worship is commanded by God marriage is not. I love my wife dearly but remember marriage is also a means of sanctification.

P.S. Kind of a goofy question.


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## smhbbag (May 29, 2009)

> Public worship is commanded by God marriage is not.



It would have been sin for me not to pursue marriage. And I think that is the case for the majority of people as well. I don't think I have to spell this out.


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## Grymir (May 30, 2009)

I sit through every sunday worship in the church I got married in. That's unbeatable!!

And yes, I'll vote for my marriage anyday!!!!


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## AThornquist (May 30, 2009)

Pergamum said:


> I had a lot more fun after my wedding day than I usually do after church.



Rub it in, man!


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## BJClark (May 30, 2009)

Romans922;



> Maybe I should ask the question: What do you desire more? To be married or to worship the Lord with the body of Christ?



I chose worship the Lord with the Body of Christ..

But then I see this from a different perspective, 

When you are placed in a position of being forced to choose between going to church and spending time with your spouse..it is a bit more difficult, especially for a wife..who is to submit to her husband..

As a Christian she is to submit to her husband...but she is also to submit to God as Her Lord..so it becomes a question in her mind..who does she submit to first? God or Her husband?? I say God..

Hbr 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.


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## Poimen (May 30, 2009)

The OP is not really a false dichotomy because it does not require us to choose between two options in exclusion to the other but requires us to make one or the other to be the priority. 

Let's see: 

1) Man was created first to be in communion with his God and later in communion with his wife. 
2) Man is called to obey God first (Matthew 22:37-38), which includes the 2nd commandment regulating our worship and second to love his neighbour, including the 7th commandment regulating our relationship to our wives. 
3) Marriage is not a sacrament (means of grace) but I may receive them in the church to my sanctification. 
4) Marriage is a relationship between two people and their God pointing to the greater worship relationship between God and His people in Christ (Ephesians 5:32)
5) Marriage is the communion of two people in an earth bound and temporal relationship, whereas worship is coming into and preparing for the presence of our eternal God. (Hebrews 12:22ff).
6) What matters most is not being male, or female etc. but that we are one in Christ (Galatians 3:28)

It is our sinful hearts that would have us emphasize (or choose for that matter) the former over the latter but we must understand what is implied if we consciously and repeatedly emphasize the former over the latter. For if marriage makes us better men and women more than our weekly worship, or is generally preferable to our weekly worship then there is something seriously wrong with our churches or our hearts.


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## smhbbag (May 30, 2009)

> 1) Man was created first to be in communion with his God and later in communion with his wife.
> 2) Man is called to obey God first (Matthew 22:37-38), which includes the 2nd commandment regulating our worship and second to love his neighbour, including the 7th commandment regulating our relationship to our wives.
> 3) Marriage is not a sacrament (means of grace) but I may receive them in the church to my sanctification.
> 4) Marriage is a relationship between two people and their God pointing to the greater worship relationship between God and His people in Christ (Ephesians 5:32)
> ...



Would this, then, be a way of saying the Public Worship is better, superior, or of higher priority than private worship? 

Because in all these cases, a strong case can be made that living in marriage can rightly and genuinely be called worship in every sense of the term, if one is living as a sacrifice unto God (Rom. 12:1-2). If treating a spouse with tenderness when it is hard to so, publicly praising one another's virtues, praying together privately, rightly enjoying meals together or the marriage bed...if these things are done for the glory of God they deserve the term 'worship' as much as any meeting on Sunday morning. 

Given that you accept my application of that term, would you then say that Public Worship is superior to non-public or private worship? If so, why?


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## Romans922 (May 30, 2009)

TimV said:


> > If I had a choice between staying home three Sunday services in a row and finding and marrying a nice Christian lady I would miss the three Sunday services.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




How is that the same? 

In the question I asked (So are you saying that you would break the Lord's commandment to keep...), the person being asked is not married, has no spouse. God commands you to keep the Sabbath day holy, to not forsake the assemblying together. Would you forsake assemblying together to worship publically, in order to find a spouse? (don't you have 6 other days you can do this?) But this is a tangent off of my OP anyway.


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## jwithnell (May 30, 2009)

Our wedding WAS a worship service -- we sang three hymns, had a responsive reading, a sermon, several men stood and prayed that the home that was forming would glorify God, the entire church was invited. It only made sense to us to praise God with all our hearts for bringing us together! And God uses the analogy of marriage to describe Christ's relationship to His church, and we will one day be with Him for the great wedding feast in heaven.


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