# What are the advantages and disadvantages of Facebook? Is it profitable?



## lutroo (Apr 28, 2010)

I used to have a myspace many years ago but I deleted it because I wasted so much time on it. I've refrained from joining Facebook so far because one, I don't want to see what some Christians put on their pages - it would grieve me and make feel compelled to rebuke them, two, it would probably sapp me of valuable time, and three, I think real life communication is better (he says writing on the PB!!). Oh, and everyone knows I'm not on it despite their jibings so pride in holding my position holds me back as well!

However I have come to consider joining Facebook for a couple of reasons...

Firstly, there is a young lady I like but I don't know her that well. She seems spiritual but I think her facebook will be a good (if only small) indicator of how she presents herself to world. 

Secondly, it would seem a good way to keep up with what my friends are doing who I don't see very often.

Thirdly, there may be evangelistic opportunities with unsaved friends and opportunities to point Christians I know to some decent biblical teaching etc. 

Could acquainted facebook users let me know if my concerns or reasons are valid? Does anyone have any ideas of the advantages/disadvantages/dangers of the site for a young man? Will there be any indecent images like in adverts for example? 

Thanks in advance!!


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## nasa30 (Apr 28, 2010)

No help here. We have chosen not to be a part of Facebook either.


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## Tripel (Apr 28, 2010)

I'm not on Facebook, but if I were single like yourself, I probably would be.


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## Scottish Lass (Apr 28, 2010)

I've used FB for a couple of years now, especially to keep in touch since we've moved around a lot in the past. As far as seeing others' pages that would distress me, I rarely actually visit others' full pages. What generally happens is that they post a status update or photos or a link, which shows up in my News Feed. I can interact with what they've posted, or I can hide them from my News Feed (while remaining friends with them--I often do this with former students who are now partying their way out of college). 

The ability to join groups and have discussions with other Christians is also encouraging. For example, I'm only one of two women in my congregation who headcover for worship, but I'm part of a group with hundreds of folks who believe the way I do--we list good sellers, tips on headcovering, encourage those new to it, etc. 

As far as the ads, your browser may be able to disable them--Firefox has an add-on called AdBlockPlus, for example. It's been more than a year since I've seen an ad on FB, but I know there were ads for dating sites, etc. that were questionable. 

A potential danger is the amount of time one can waste, especially in the beginning. If you don't get sucked into playing some of the virtual games, or you're good with time management, you should be fine.


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## Andres (Apr 28, 2010)

lutroo said:


> I've refrained from joining Facebook so far because one, I don't want to see what some Christians put on their pages - it would grieve me and make feel compelled to rebuke them.


 This sounds really snobbish to me.




lutroo said:


> Firstly, there is a young lady I like but I don't know her that well. She seems spiritual but I think her facebook will be a good (if only small) indicator of how she presents herself to world.


 And this sounds really stalkerish to me. 

It's just Facebook. Don't overanalyze it. Make a page and if a couple of weeks later you find it's not to your liking, delete your account.


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## Sam Owen (Apr 28, 2010)

JMTCW: I have long felt that behind such issues is a larger issue of spiritual maturity. There a lot of things in life - TV, Movies, Facebook, etc - which in and of themselves can be anything from 'no big deal' to 'quite useful'. I think that as believers we can't always present ourselves with only the two choices of having something in our lives that we will stumble over, and getting rid of the thing altogether. There is a middle ground - having that thing in our lives and developing the self control to use it in a profitable way. By way of illustration, I have a friend who has regularly decided TV is something that controls his life, so he wheels the thing outside and destroys it, ONLY to end up replacing it within months. I was like, 'Dude ... how about KEEPING the TV, but learning how to turn it off when you think you have been watching it too much?' Many of his likewise excitable friends see him doing this as being a form of radical commitment to God whereas I see it as a (and I DON'T mean this in a snarky way) sign of spiritual immaturity. The thing is, it's EASIER to smash a TV than to develop self control and wisdom in the use of such things in our lives. Some things, we should never have in our lives, but many things I think we have the freedom to have if we would use them properly and keep them in their place. Makes for a more rounded and nuanced life


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## N. Eshelman (Apr 28, 2010)

Advantages: 
Get to talk with people/friends in all parts of the world. 
People who are far away from us (wife from Chicago, I am from Pennsylvania, we lived in Grand Rapids for 12 years) get to see pics of our kids and life. 
Get to interact with many about various topics. Right now I have 3 'inbox' discussions going on with RP elders and pastors. 
Ways to promote church life, sermons, blog entries, etc. And all to the glory of God. 
Good way to communicate with the youth in your church (you do not exist unless you are on some social network). 

Disadvantages: 
People ask you to do dumb things: Mafia Wars, Farmville, etc. etc. 

There are many time wasting opportunities on FB such as the above, but you can just block those. And, there are 101 ways to waste time on Puritan Board as well... it's all about what you do with what God has given you.


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## SarahM (Apr 28, 2010)

I understand your thoughts about FB. First off, I would not recommend FB as a way of getting to know a person of the opposite sex. I have found, in my experience, that only makes me spend all the more time on the site. Plus, I think it can promote passive flirtation. You're always wondering (at least I did), "what did he mean by that comment?" or "He must like me because he commented two times on my status." So, I ended up deleting my account. I have since gone back and reactivated it to delete 'friends' I really didn't need to know about or who were causing me 'issues'. Right now I have three FB accounts (silly, I know). I am trying an experiment of having 'themed' accounts. I have one for school or academia acquaintances, one for evangelism friends, and one that has family and close friends. 
Anyway, I don't know if this is helpful to you or not. =)


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## Vytautas (Apr 28, 2010)

SarahM said:


> Right now I have three FB accounts (silly, I know). I am trying an experiment of having 'themed' accounts. I have one for school or academia acquaintances, one for evangelism friends, and one that has family and close friends.



Seems to me you have three different masks...


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## SarahM (Apr 28, 2010)

Vytautas said:


> SarahM said:
> 
> 
> > Right now I have three FB accounts (silly, I know). I am trying an experiment of having 'themed' accounts. I have one for school or academia acquaintances, one for evangelism friends, and one that has family and close friends.
> ...


Well, I don't know. I like to think of it as being private and safe on the internet. I don't want my school mates to necessarily know about my private life and it helps me in knowing what I should or shouldn't post because of the target group. So, it's mainly to help me from posting more than I should, that's all. At least, I think that's all. lol


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## au5t1n (Apr 28, 2010)

It's extremely easy to waste time on Facebook, even without all the games (I don't play the games, and still I manage to waste time). If it were not for the fact that Facebook is my only connection to some of my good friends, I would delete my account.


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## Montanablue (Apr 28, 2010)

Flirting or otherwise getting to know someone on the internet seems like it would be extremely uninteresting. So, if you really like this young lady, I would suggest NOT pursuing her via facebook.

As my grandmother would say, "What has gotten into the young people lately?"


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## Wayne (Apr 28, 2010)

I signed on to FB in order to keep up with my daughter when she moved away to work in another state. 
It has been okay for that purpose, though I don't like using the chat system.
As to everyone else on my friends list, I suppose the main advantage is keeping the faces tied to the names, the better to remember people you know.

There is a real aspect, not at all snobbish, to being dismayed over what some folks post. It disturbs me to see some pastors who only ever post about secular things.


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## fredtgreco (Apr 28, 2010)

I use Facebook as a public avenue for my ministry, and a way to keep up with old acquaintances. I avoid huge time wasters by not doing any of the games, and hiding anything "game-ish" that shows up immediately. I avoid the stupid (and often offensive) ads through Adblock Plus on Firefox. And I further avoid the time sink now by using a nice little program that keeps track of your productivity:

Rescue Time


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## SolaScriptura (Apr 28, 2010)

I won't bind anyone's conscience, but I don't use Facebook - nor do I allow my wife - because I am convinced it is dangerous, and the potential danger is both significant and real enough to outweigh any possible good.


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## Jack K (Apr 28, 2010)

You can use it as you choose. It doesn't have to sap your time, and you don't have to get judgmental about others' comments. You certainly don't have to read their pages.

I'm on it mainly because for some people (especially a generation younger than me) it's the best or pretty much the _only_ way to stay in touch. There are kids I used to teach who're now in high school and college and if I weren't on facebook, they'd pretty much be out of my life.



lutroo said:


> Firstly, there is a young lady I like but I don't know her that well. She seems spiritual but I think her facebook will be a good (if only small) indicator of how she presents herself to world.


Yeah, it feels a bit like spying but I think it's probably harmless. Truth be told, if I were in your shoes I'd probably check her out that way. Just don't judge her only by facebook, of course.




lutroo said:


> Secondly, it would seem a good way to keep up with what my friends are doing who I don't see very often.


Exactly. It is good for that.




lutroo said:


> Thirdly, there may be evangelistic opportunities with unsaved friends and opportunities to point Christians I know to some decent biblical teaching etc.


I don't know. Facebook seems to work better for light chitchat than for serious biblical teaching or even serious referrals to good teaching. I'd say it's a way to keep in touch so that serious conversations may happen down the road in some other venue.




lutroo said:


> Does anyone have any ideas of the advantages/disadvantages/dangers of the site for a young man? Will there be any indecent images like in adverts for example?


I haven't been tempted by any indecent images or any of the ads.


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## Scottish Lass (Apr 28, 2010)

For those of you who have chosen not to be a part of Facebook, could you be more specific about why you made that decision? It may help the OP as well as give food for thought for those of us who do use FB in light of whether we should reconsider.


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## Montanablue (Apr 28, 2010)

I hadn't joined until very recently, because I was afraid it would be a time waster. As well, I really don't like to have to reject friend requests on these sorts of things - it feels rude to me - but I'm only comfortable being "friend" with people with whom I'm actually quite good friends with. 

I've found its good for keeping up with old friends, but I've limited myself to only adding people that I am or was good friends with. Fortunately, most people I know peripherally (co-workers, acquaintances at church etc) know that I didn't have it and I've not mentioned that I've gotten it - so I haven't been forced to be rude and reject their friend requests.


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## calgal (Apr 29, 2010)

Montanablue said:


> I hadn't joined until very recently, because I was afraid it would be a time waster. As well, I really don't like to have to reject friend requests on these sorts of things - it feels rude to me - but I'm only comfortable being "friend" with people with whom I'm actually quite good friends with.
> 
> I've found its good for keeping up with old friends, but I've limited myself to only adding people that I am or was good friends with. Fortunately, most people I know peripherally (co-workers, acquaintances at church etc) know that I didn't have it and I've not mentioned that I've gotten it - so I haven't been forced to be rude and reject their friend requests.



And it is really good for keeping up with family living a ways off and meeting up with old friends again. We also message family and it is kind of fun getting to know our cousins better this way (and their kids).


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## Christopher88 (Apr 29, 2010)

lutroo said:


> I used to have a myspace many years ago but I deleted it because I wasted so much time on it. I've refrained from joining Facebook so far because one, I don't want to see what some Christians put on their pages - it would grieve me and make feel compelled to rebuke them, two, it would probably sapp me of valuable time, and three, I think real life communication is better (he says writing on the PB!!). Oh, and everyone knows I'm not on it despite their jibings so pride in holding my position holds me back as well!
> 
> However I have come to consider joining Facebook for a couple of reasons...
> 
> ...


 
First: Just take the girl to starbucks. Just say hey (Insert name) I'm going for coffey tonight care to join me? That puts it in terms of I want to get to know you. 
Second: Yes, that is a good reason. That is what FB was made for. 
Third: Its better to talk to the unsaved than just write to them about God. We live in a day and age where phones can be used.  

I have FB mainy just for Church reasons. I keep it on to stay up to date with the Young Adult Fellowship.


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## SemperEruditio (Apr 29, 2010)

Advantages:
You can reconnect with people from your past.

Disadvantages:
You can reconnect with people from your past.

Is it profitable?
Depends on how it is used.


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## christiana (Apr 29, 2010)

I enjoy FB as a way of keeping up with kids and grandkids and what is going on in their life, like my grandson's recent prom and photos! It is a fun thing that can truly take up too much of ones time if you're not very careful, rather like PB can do as well! My posts are usually either quotes or timely bible verses but I do enjoy reading all the other posts but do no games! I too have posted a photo of myself with my little dog.
The negatives are definitely when too much time is spent there.


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## JennyG (Apr 29, 2010)

SarahM said:


> Vytautas said:
> 
> 
> > Seems to me you have three different masks...
> ...



I took the plunge - sort of - recently and got an account but I haven't made much use of it yet - so this discussion is interesting to me, and so is your method of dealing with it!
I've always hung back before and one big reason was I don't want to be trespassing on my kids' space. Maybe a different user name could be the answer? so they don't feel as if they're being followed round.
Something I still wonder about:
1) how does FB score (re keeping in touch) over say the PB - or email for goodness sake?? which is how I keep in touch at the moment.
Andrew, wasn't your post maybe a bit mean?? Lutroo mentioned exactly the sort of things that would influence me (except the young lady, of course)


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## jayce475 (Apr 29, 2010)

Having been one who's struggled through many assignments and exams partially due to facebook, I would say that the temptation for playing time-wasting games and just plain snooping around at other people's profiles is very real. Voyeuristic and exhibitionist tendencies are magnified due to facebook and it can get rather unhealthy. I found myself really stumbled when I saw many photos of a girl I used to fancy containing other guys. Though I try to limit myself to status updates which are edifying, there have been some occasions where I have posted stuff that may potentially stumble others. The dangers are real. These days, far as I can, with the help of God, I try to stay away from time-wasting activities, upkeep a good testimony with the comments and statuses that I post and stay away from actively stalking the pages of others (especially the pages of girls I may be interested in). It remains a wonderful tool for me to stay in touch with others as it is the only means for me to contact some friends and classmates, but we all need to use it to the glory of God. If you deem it too hot to handle, it may be wise not be use it.


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## Scottish Lass (Apr 29, 2010)

JennyG said:


> [
> I took the plunge - sort of - recently and got an account but I haven't made much use of it yet - so this discussion is interesting to me, and so is your method of dealing with it!
> I've always hung back before and one big reason was I don't want to be trespassing on my kids' space. Maybe a different user name could be the answer? so they don't feel as if they're being followed round.
> Something I still wonder about:
> 1) how does FB score (re keeping in touch) over say the PB - or email for goodness sake?? which is how I keep in touch at the moment.


 
I'm friends on Facebook with lots of people I know but I don't email and that aren't on the PB. The unlimited photo-sharing is great--I can watch my friends' kids grow up from four states away. Plus, it was a huge help when we had Grace--everyone wants updates and pictures.


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## lutroo (Apr 29, 2010)

Montanablue said:


> Flirting or otherwise getting to know someone on the internet seems like it would be extremely uninteresting. So, if you really like this young lady, I would suggest NOT pursuing her via facebook.
> 
> As my grandmother would say, "What has gotten into the young people lately?"


 
Maybe I should clear this point up a bit. I wasn't planning to join so I could get to know her, flirt with her or ask her out on Facebook. I know her from Christian meetings but I know how easy it is to put on a godly facade when among other believers. I just thought Facebook would be a small indicator of how she presents her self to unbelievers as well as believers. If she posted immodest pictures or had some sinful film as favourite film then I would be less inclined to allow my feelings to grow. I don't think it's being 'stalkerish', it's just doing your homework before pursuing. 

Thanks to everyone who has replied. Most of the stuff has been really helpful. I take the point about snobbishness - the original post has an air of it, but I didn't mean it that way.


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## VictorBravo (Apr 29, 2010)

Scottish Lass said:


> For those of you who have chosen not to be a part of Facebook, could you be more specific about why you made that decision? It may help the OP as well as give food for thought for those of us who do use FB in light of whether we should reconsider.


 
My reason may not be profound, but it is still powerful because it originated from my wife: When MySpace and Facebook were first making waves, she looked them over and dubbed them collectively as "MyFace."

It made me laugh, it still does, because she zeroed in on the huge potential of these services to promote narcissism.

The main practical reason I don't have an account (although I did for a while), is simply time. It's hard enough keeping up with my emails and newsletters, the PB, while maintaining my other interests. The FB account was opened so I could read some particular item sent to me. I kept getting friendship requests and announcements telling me that I had a wall on which someone had posted writing (I guess electronic graffiti is encouraged in the virtual world) but I didn't want to spend the time to figure out what to do with all this stuff that kept showing up.

To each his own. I'm sure many would wonder how I could spend my 4-6 hours of free daily time on some of the things I do.


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## CNJ (Apr 29, 2010)

*Advantages*
*My husband and I went on Facebook last year for family. I help my husband post photos there which help his memory and with Facebook as his homepage theoretically he can review what is happening. (He has dementia.)
*I use it to promote my book, to connect with people with various venues including Toastmasters.
*Disadvantages* 
*Time waister--don't get hooked on the games.
*You can get angry about others who get hooked on the games.
*You are asked to join things by friends and have to say no. If you can't say no, don't join Facebook.
*People post from mobile phones or iPhones and then don't keep a conversation going like we do on PB.
*Do you care who is doing laundry, how much laundry they did, how far they jogged, how late they stayed up, etc. ? You have to read all that to get to good stuff.

*Go for coffee with someone in person or a long-distance call. *


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## N. Eshelman (Apr 29, 2010)

CNJ said:


> *Disadvantages*
> *You can get angry about others who get hooked on the games.



Good stuff. Very insightful. Exposing the little pharisee in each of us.


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## Skyler (Apr 29, 2010)

If you have already had a problem with MySpace, then my suggestion, to be honest, is not to get a Facebook account unless you are sure you've already achieved victory in that area. Your "benefits" won't outweigh the cost.

1. If you want to see this lady's Facebook, you could ask a friend who has Facebook and is friends with her to let you look at her "wall" via his account. You don't need your own for that.

2. Wouldn't your time be better spent in keeping up with the local congregation?

3. I would argue that there isn't really more than you ordinarily get in day-to-day relations or through email.

Now with that said, I do have a Facebook account. I hardly ever log into it. When I do, my "friends" are all people I have met in real life, and most of them are either family or members of my church. If you do decide to have a Facebook account, I don't recommend adding a bunch of people you've met over the Internet (I don't even have any PB members on my Facebook). I'm not saying that's a hard-and-fast rule, but that's what I decided for myself.


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## Covenant Joel (Apr 30, 2010)

New article by John Muether on the topic:

Virtual Friendship by John Muether | Reformed Theology Articles at Ligonier.org


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## AThornquist (Apr 30, 2010)

I block the junk I don't want to see and enjoy the posts of others. Looking back, I wish I hadn't spent so much time on it on some days, but I also am glad that I have had interaction with brothers and sisters that I otherwise wouldn't have (such as Julio Amaya, or on here "awretchsavedbygrace" . . . he's a cool guy).


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## T.A.G. (Apr 30, 2010)

I witness at universities a lot and I usually continue to talk with the people I meet there via facebook
I also like it because I get to read articles that people post or videos that glorify God
and of course having family and friends that you do not live near to continue to be in their lives some how
internet is a blessing, we just must not abuse it


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## Scottish Lass (Apr 30, 2010)

Like Tyler, I've continued friendships with two Muslim women I met last summer on Facebook.


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## TexanRose (May 1, 2010)

Facebook adds an immediacy to relationships even with people you know well and see often. For instance, my sister-in-law recently posted that her daughter (my niece) had taken her first steps. She probably would have felt silly calling up all of her friends and telling them personally--the event didn't justify going that far--but by posting a status update, the info was "out there" for all who cared enough to check in. And when I saw the update, a few hours later, I got to rejoice with her. 

Also, I have a few friends from high school/college that I lost touch with over the years, but our friendship was close enough "back in the day" that I thought of them from time to time, and wondered what they were doing. Facebook allows me to keep in touch with those friends in a light sort of way, nothing too pushy or time-consuming.

You do have to be aggressive in turning down group and page requests (except for the occasional worthy page like ones representing churches or religious views--for instance, there's a group called "purity in worship"), and you also have to learn to block the game updates from your feed. Also, I block status updates from certain friends who post things I don't want to see (they're family, so I don't want to delete them from my friends list).

To avoid wasting time on Facebook, be sure to turn off all e-mail notifications. It's much easier to stay away from Facebook when you aren't getting little notifications in your inbox like "So-and-so commented on your picture." Also, I installed a program called "LeechBlock" which is a free download for Firefox that enables you to block access to distracting sites for certain times of the day.


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## Andres (May 1, 2010)

Is this a good time to plug the official PuritanBoard group page on Facebook?


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## Mindaboo (May 1, 2010)

I personally enjoy Facebook. Two of my sisters found me through Facebook and we were reunited. I also am getting to know cousins, aunts and uncles that I would never have communicated with if I weren't on. I don't have a problem rejecting friend request. The people aren't notified that you have rejected them. 

I hide friend's status updates if they are crude, then I don't have to see them anymore. I have been disappointed by the friends who are Christians but then post soft **** on their page. I usually remove them from my friend list, or hide them from my page. 

Overall Facebook has had more pros than cons for me!


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## BlackCalvinist (May 1, 2010)

Facebook, PB, Myspace and everything else electronic all have the potential to be helpful and useful or time-wasters. 

If your issue is being grieved by what others post....you don't necessarily have to have them as friends on your page. And if they post something you disagree with, stop and look at your reasons for getting grieved about it - is it a primary doctrinal issue or a secondary doctrinal issue ? Take into account something else: everyone in the world isn't going to agree with you. 

Example: *I believe that the exegesis of songs, hymns and spiritual songs as 'this type of psalm, that type of psalm, another type of psalm without instruments' is nonsensical in light of Psalm 150 and others that say praise the Lord with instruments.*

There.  I've successfully ticked off at least 40-60% of PB.  Are they all going to go running away from PB over this comment ? No. They all realize that the rest of the world doesn't agree with them on their interpretation (and the original intent) of the RPW, but a good number of them also realize that there are plenty of godly men and women who disagree with them, but will still rejoice together with them before the throne of the lamb in Rev. 4-5 one day in the future. 

One huge problem that continues to plague CHURCH circles in general is that 'everyone tends to stick with their own kind'. There are pentecostal/charismatic types who've never heard of the reformation, reformed theology, etc... and are SHOCKED that there are actually believers who don't hold to 'Left Behind' eschatology. They look down their nose at those who teach anything contrary and feel themselves to be spiritually superior because they don't simply have 'book knowledge', but they get a regular 'rhema word' from God. There are reformed folks who are content to stay in their little reformed collectives, happy and proud to be fully confessional, looking down their noses at those who aren't as enlightened as them, still chasing the delusions of their own minds and thinking it to be God. 

I'm thankful for reformed folk who step outside of their church circles and attempt to influence others with sound doctrine. I've seen quite a few people change their theology because of online discussions and find themselves even leaving their old arminian-ish churches because of these discussions - both of FB and on other message boards.

If you're worried about needing to 'rebuke' someone, maybe you need to stop and analyze your own heart a bit. If you're not a pastor or you don't have a solid relationship established with that person, a rebuke is not your place. Encouragement toward sound doctrine, yes. Try to do so with graciousness in your presentation and not simply to sound or be 'right' and want everyone else to be 'right like me'. 

FB is great for:
- catching up with old friends
- keeping up with friends and others who have moved far away (Sharon's example of the baby taking first steps is a GREAT example)
- having the same types of written convos that we have here on PB (we've had exegetical convos on FB in people's status comments section)
- dropping your friends (or having them drop you) an encouraging, but short note or two
- getting into discussions you usually don't have the opportunity to get into with people you normally wouldn't have convos with
- beginning new friendships (genuine friendships, since a few people I've met online, we've hooked up and fellowshipped offline. one guy in particular is one of my best friends now and was in my wedding.)

I don't get caught up in Mafia Wars, Farmville or other stuff AND you can have FB automatically block those applications from posting to your wall (think of your wall as a guestbook). Turn off e-mail notifications.

It *is* true - you *can* tell a lot about what a person thinks by looking at their FB. Some people often have an 'online persona' versus their 'real life persona' and say/do things online that they would never say/do in person.


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## Rich Koster (May 1, 2010)

I've looked over my bride's shoulder at what goes on. Lots of silly comments from relatives and co-workers, who I do not desire to chat with to begin with, seem to appear regularly. Several arguments have broken out from people's comments, especially when a homosexual cousin wanted her to lobby for same sex marriage. As far as I'm concerned, those who want to talk to me can e-mail me or call me. I like PB because it is moderated and most of us are like minded to begin with.


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## Claudiu (May 1, 2010)

Just deleted my FB today. I found I was wasting too much time on it. Most people I was really keeping in contact I was doing so through e-mail, so FB wasn't really useful. I've also lost my interest in social networking. 
my


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