# Help me with my thesis statement....



## bconway52 (Sep 4, 2007)

I am currently a senior at Liberty University through their distance learning and am going for a B.S. of Religion. I am enrolled in Church history 302 (Reformation till present) and am going to be writing a paper on the rise of Arminianism this semester. 

My first proposed thesis was: 
Therefore, in this paper, we will discuss the rise of Amrinianism and the major people involved in its origination, the reasons for its emergence, the errors of its doctrine, and the serious consequences brought about by these errors.

The professor rejected it because it was too much of a theological issue rather than an historical issue. Well, I understand that and, in fact, this may have been too much for a 12 page paper. So I rewrote it taking about the part about the "errors of its doctrine" to this:

Thus, in this paper, the rise of Amrinianism will be discussed and analyzed. We will look at the the people involved in its origination and some of the reasons for its emergence, keeping in mind that God is sovereign over history and works all things for His glory.

He rejected this thesis because I used the phrase "keeping in mind that God is sovereign over history and works all things for His glory" because this too was theological. What other perspective do we write an historical paper from then?

Does anyone else see a problem with this or am I just blinded?


----------



## blhowes (Sep 4, 2007)

How about:

Thus, in this paper, the rise of Arminianism will be discussed and analyzed. We will look at the people involved in its origination and some of the reasons for its emergence, keeping in mind that out of their own free will they chose this teaching that denies God's sovereignty in history.


----------



## MrMerlin777 (Sep 4, 2007)

blhowes said:


> How about:
> 
> Thus, in this paper, the rise of Arminianism will be discussed and analyzed. We will look at the people involved in its origination and some of the reasons for its emergence, keeping in mind that out of their own free will they chose this teaching that denies God's sovereignty in history.


----------



## Southern Presbyterian (Sep 4, 2007)

blhowes said:


> How about:
> 
> Thus, in this paper, the rise of Arminianism will be discussed and analyzed. We will look at the people involved in its origination and some of the reasons for its emergence, keeping in mind that out of their own free will they chose this teaching that denies God's sovereignty in history.


----------



## bconway52 (Sep 4, 2007)

Ha!!!! That's good! 

Though I don't think that would EVER fly with him. But you can be assured the essence of that sentence will be incorporated!


----------



## Covenant Joel (Sep 4, 2007)

bconway52 said:


> I am currently a senior at Liberty University through their distance learning and am going for a B.S. of Religion. I am enrolled in Church history 302 (Reformation till present) and am going to be writing a paper on the rise of Arminianism this semester.
> 
> My first proposed thesis was:
> Therefore, in this paper, we will discuss the rise of Amrinianism and the major people involved in its origination, the reasons for its emergence, the errors of its doctrine, and the serious consequences brought about by these errors.
> ...



Just a couple of thoughts. Different universities have different standards, so what I say may not really apply to your situation, but in terms of my background, here's some thoughts:


The thesis should probably be one statement; not a sentence, and then a further explanatory sentence.
Try not to use 1st person pronouns (I, we)...it's usually considered non-academic, and also will lead you to the "theological" things that he's not desiring in your historical paper.
Try to use active voice instead of passive...thus, "This paper will discuss the rise of Arminianism..." 
These may seem like little, unimportant things, but they will really improve your thesis and your papers in general.

With that in mind, try something along these lines:

_This paper will discuss the rise of Arminianism, tracing its originators, causes, and effects on the Christian church._

Keep it short and sweet. Take all this with a grain of salt, since I don't know exactly where you are wanting to go with your paper, but hopefully at least some of what I said will be of some assistance.


----------



## LadyFlynt (Sep 4, 2007)

How about focusing on the historic political and economic issues that laid the path for the rabid growth of Arminianism?


----------



## Puritan Sailor (Sep 4, 2007)

> With that in mind, try something along these lines:
> 
> _This paper will discuss the rise of Arminianism, tracing its originators, causes, and effects on the Christian church._
> 
> Keep it short and sweet. Take all this with a grain of salt, since I don't know exactly where you are wanting to go with your paper, but hopefully at least some of what I said will be of some assistance.



I agree. Keep it short, and keep it historical. You can still keep a Christian worldview in your paper without advertizing it in bold. But if this is truly a historical paper, then you are suppose to be analyzing those "secondary causes" which brought about what you are studying.


----------



## weinhold (Sep 4, 2007)

Bradley, allow me to offer a quote from Scott Crider's book on Academic writing _Office of Assertion_ (which I highly recommend). He writes concerning theses:



> What is a thesis? A thesis is a proposition determinate enough to provide unity and coherence to the essay: it declares something about the subject at hand, what it declares is limited in scope, and that limitation ensures that the essay will be about one thing that will hold together the essay's constituent parts. . . . [a thesis] is arguable, a sentence about which intelligent and principled people can disagree (17).



Even if the latter clause of your proposed thesis were deleted, it still would not qualify as an arguable assertion: "Thus, in this paper, the rise of Amrinianism will be discussed and analyzed. We will look at the the people involved in its origination and some of the reasons for its emergence . . ." What is it that you are going to say _about_ the development of Arminianism? Who are the important people involved? What were the reasons for its emergence? Providing specific answers to these questions will delimit your argument, and make your thesis an arguable (and historical) one.


----------



## bconway52 (Sep 4, 2007)

Everyone,
Thanks for your suggestions! I truly appreciate it! 

Here is my revised thesis:

This paper will discuss the rise and subsequent growth of Arminianism, tracing both its causes and originators and the reaction of the church to its teachings down through the generations. 

Hopefully he will accept this one


----------



## bconway52 (Sep 4, 2007)

Paul, 
thanks for the information! Although I agree with you about my sentences not being a thesis by definition, that is not why he is rejecting it. We have to submit this at the beginning of the semester (why? I do not know) before any research or lecture has been given on the topics available to write papers on. He more or less wants a sentence about what we are writing on and what exactly our paper will be about. He just didn't like the theological statement in my topic which declared God as sovereign and that is the perspective my paper will be from. But what other perspective can a Christian write from? Anyway, thank you and I will definitely use that when I write the actual thesis to be contained in my paper.


----------



## panta dokimazete (Sep 4, 2007)

I'd say something about the origin and *ramifications* of Arminianism on the church...


----------



## A5pointer (Sep 5, 2007)

reference opponents to the theology and let them speak to the ramifications........gets the heat off you


----------

