# Where are the single men???



## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

I saw a thread in here from over ten years ago asking where the single Christian women are. 

I thought I would start a similar thread but for gals seeking dudes. Where are the single men, and why can't singles find each other in the church? Is it just because our churches are so small?


Sometimes I hear that people met their spouse before becoming Reformed, and I think I may have to de-Reform, find a male mate, then re-Reform in order to achieve marriage. I will not actually do this. It is way too much work. What can be done? Alas, who knows!


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## Pergamum (Mar 13, 2019)

Again, we need a PB Harmony! Ha ha!

Don't search here on the PB, though, there's a lot of nerds.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## TylerRay (Mar 13, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> I saw a thread in here from over ten years ago asking where the single Christian women are.
> 
> I thought I would start a similar thread but for gals seeking dudes. Where are the single men, and why can't singles find each other in the church? Is it just because our churches are so small?
> 
> ...


Nicki,
I'd encourage you to attend as many Reformed conferences as you can. You'll find a lot of zelous, single Reformed guys there. Can you think of any close to where you live?


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## Bill Duncan (Mar 13, 2019)

https://www.puritanboard.com/threads/a-man-after-gods-own-heart-spousal-criteria.97552/
Nicki,
I will refer you to my thread a few days ago.

I don't know your age and whether this observation is relative to you, but College is delaying many "good" men from taking on the God ordained role of Christian manhood. The Educational Industrial Complex, our system of providing jobs to those who profit from the educational system in our country, have taken many good boys, and delayed their becoming men. The system that has convinced our world that higher education is required for success in this world is a device of the evil one, to instead place a pause on the Godly development of young people. A dungeon of sexual temptation with no restraining force, alcohol and drug abuse, and suggestions by evil professors to forget all that was taught by the church and parents and explore the horizons of liberality. I feel so sorry for those who seek Godly spouses and only find worn out baggage, scarred by the sinful path of unrighteousness. Rom. 1:18 and following describes God's judgment coming to bare in this example.


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## Afterthought (Mar 13, 2019)

Clearly, they are wherever the single women are not. 

If it's any encouragement, there are cases of Reformed women meeting men who are not Reformed but during the process of getting to know each other become Reformed before marriage. It can be a lot of work though; it takes a special sort of person to go through the additional stress of theological change while handling normal relationship stuff. But such people do exist.

Reactions: Like 2


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## Bill Duncan (Mar 13, 2019)

Afterthought said:


> Clearly, they are wherever the single women are not.
> 
> If it's any encouragement, there are cases of Reformed women meeting men who are not Reformed but during the process of getting to know each other become Reformed before marriage. It can be a lot of work though; it takes a special sort of person to go through the additional stress of theological change while handling normal relationship stuff. But such people do exist.


Seen a lot of heartache too.

Reactions: Amen 1


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## Tom Hart (Mar 13, 2019)

I used to be against online dating. _Why can't people just meet people?_ I thought. Then I turned Reformed... and I realized it's not so easy.

I married my wife before I my conversion to the Doctrines of Grace. Now I am the only person I know who is Reformed! (My wife is coming along. ) It's often lonely. I might go mad but for the PB.

Reactions: Like 4


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## SeanPatrickCornell (Mar 13, 2019)

If you have a Facebook account, you should try a group called Reformed Harmony. I met my wife in that group.

Also, it's not a "dating" group, or "marriage" group, it's a "fellowship" group. 

Don't get too hung up on the idea that 30+ couples have met and gotten married in that group.

Reactions: Like 3 | Informative 1


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## timfost (Mar 13, 2019)

Tom Hart said:


> I might go mad but for the PB.



Sometimes the PB drives me mad.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Pergamum (Mar 13, 2019)

timfost said:


> Sometimes the PB drives me mad.


It's a short drive for some of us.

Reactions: Amen 1 | Funny 3


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## arapahoepark (Mar 13, 2019)

We're around...


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## arapahoepark (Mar 13, 2019)

Bill Duncan said:


> https://www.puritanboard.com/threads/a-man-after-gods-own-heart-spousal-criteria.97552/
> Nicki,
> I will refer you to my thread a few days ago.
> 
> I don't know your age and whether this observation is relative to you, but College is delaying many "good" men from taking on the God ordained role of Christian manhood. The Educational Industrial Complex, our system of providing jobs to those who profit from the educational system in our country, have taken many good boys, and delayed their becoming men. The system that has convinced our world that higher education is required for success in this world is a device of the evil one, to instead place a pause on the Godly development of young people. A dungeon of sexual temptation with no restraining force, alcohol and drug abuse, and suggestions by evil professors to forget all that was taught by the church and parents and explore the horizons of liberality. I feel so sorry for those who seek Godly spouses and only find worn out baggage, scarred by the sinful path of unrighteousness. Rom. 1:18 and following describes God's judgment coming to bare in this example.


Some good points. However, don't paint such a broad swath of college in general or the idea that 'manhood' is being delayed because of it. By that logic so many biological men, especially Christian men, are not men until they either get a career or get married or both.

Reactions: Like 1


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## De Jager (Mar 13, 2019)

I am currently engaged and we met online on a well-known Christian dating site.

Apply a lot of filters, and be willing to do long-distance.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Bill Duncan (Mar 13, 2019)

arapahoepark said:


> Some good points. However, don't paint such a broad swath of college in general or the idea that 'manhood' is being delayed because of it. By that logic so many biological men, especially Christian men, are not men until they either get a career or get married or both.


I think I can paint broadly as I look around and see that we have to go out of our country to find tradesmen. Can't remember the last time I saw an anglo-saxon carpenter. My son, who by the way did not go to college, but rather a trade school, had his house remodeled recently. The vast majority of the workers spoke no English. We have an immigration problem because few in our country know how to work. We have to have immigrants or we will live in tents, and starve to death. We have made weak, useless men by insisting on college educations and then they come out with no skill to get a job. If you are scholarly then go to college. If you are not learn a trade. Work hard and you have less time for fornication and substance abuse.

Reactions: Amen 1 | Sad 2


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

SeanPatrickCornell said:


> If you have a Facebook account, you should try a group called Reformed Harmony. I met my wife in that group.
> 
> Also, it's not a "dating" group, or "marriage" group, it's a "fellowship" group.
> 
> Don't get too hung up on the idea that 30+ couples have met and gotten married in that group.


I've been a part of RH since 2016, except I took a break for over a year! I've been on many a Google Hangout with you, Sean!

Reactions: Like 1


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

Afterthought said:


> Clearly, they are wherever the single women are not.
> 
> If it's any encouragement, there are cases of Reformed women meeting men who are not Reformed but during the process of getting to know each other become Reformed before marriage. It can be a lot of work though; it takes a special sort of person to go through the additional stress of theological change while handling normal relationship stuff. But such people do exist.


I'm in a few Facebook Reformed Singles group, and in one of them there was a poll recently asking people about the demographics of their church. More than a few of the men who responded said that in their church, most of the singles were men, and some women said that their churches had mostly single women.


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

arapahoepark said:


> Some good points. However, don't paint such a broad swath of college in general or the idea that 'manhood' is being delayed because of it. By that logic so many biological men, especially Christian men, are not men until they either get a career or get married or both.


And women are not women until they get married and have children

Reactions: Amen 1


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## arapahoepark (Mar 13, 2019)

Bill Duncan said:


> I think I can paint broadly as I look around and see that we have to go out of our country to find tradesmen. Can't remember the last time I saw an anglo-saxon carpenter. My son, who by the way did not go to college, but rather a trade school, had his house remodeled recently. The vast majority of the workers spoke no English. We have an immigration problem because few in our country know how to work. We have to have immigrants or we will live in tents, and starve to death. We have made weak, useless men by insisting on college educations and then they come out with no skill to get a job. If you are scholarly then go to college. If you are not learn a trade. Work hard and you have less time for fornication and substance abuse.


I do not completely disagree that there is laziness and not everybody has to go to college. Certainly, the culture has changed and not for the better.
However, beware that one man's anecdote is another man's fallacy.
I am not sure why immigrants are then part of the problem here.


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## Pergamum (Mar 13, 2019)

I think you need duckface selfies. That's the way to attract men. Or wear t-shirts that say intelligent things like, "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best." Those things attract men.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 5


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

TylerRay said:


> Nicki,
> *I'd encourage you to attend as many Reformed conferences as you can*. You'll find a lot of zelous, single Reformed guys there. Can you think of any close to where you live?



Money, money, money...must be funny...in a rich man's world!

I actually hope to go to one over the summer. Funnily enough, the one across the country (including flight) is actually cheaper than the one closest to me.


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

Pergamum said:


> I think you need duckface selfies. That's the way to attract men. Or wear t-shirts that say intelligent things like, "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best." Those things attract men.


Yes that's definitely it. I'll get on the Instagramz.


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## Bill Duncan (Mar 13, 2019)

arapahoepark said:


> I do not completely disagree that there is laziness and not everybody has to go to college. Certainly, the culture has changed and not for the better.
> However, beware that one man's anecdote is another man's fallacy.
> I am not sure why immigrants are then part of the problem here.


No they are not the problem, in fact they are a necessity. We live in a tobacco farming community. Tobacco primarily is cultivated using immigrant labor. So the next time some of you light up, think twice about Trump's wall. You'll have to sell your first child to stuff your pipe. And when you have your glass of wine, remember who picked the grapes.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Pergamum (Mar 13, 2019)

Nicki,

To be serious, do people know that you are single and looking? 

Is it too blunt and direct to simply post on your facebook or here or other places that you are looking, and what you are looking for? 

Folks post things online all the time to look for pets, cars, and other hard-to-get items, but they refuse to do the same to find the most important thing you can find in life other than salvation, which is a spouse. It should be a matter of intentional and direct searching. 

I am glad to be married (20 years coming up in July) but if I were not, I think I'd be taking out full-page ads, "Christian guy looking for a good woman, apply here...."

Are you being intentional or just trusting in chance/providence?


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

Bill Duncan said:


> No they are not the problem, in fact they are a necessity. We live in a tobacco farming community. Tobacco primarily is cultivated using immigrant labor. So the next time some of you light up, think twice about Trump's wall. You'll have to sell your first child to stuff your pipe. And when you have your glass of wine, remember who picked the grapes.


Even before the USA had so many Hispanic immigrants, we still had other immigrants, such as Asians, doing that kind of manual labor, and before that people had slaves (though of course only the uber wealthy would have had a whole slave workforce). It's been around for a long time! But now there are so many jobs that didn't exist before...

Anyways, this is somewhat tangential. I agree that people shouldn't be forced into college! Go to college if you're scholarly, or go to trade school, like you said. I wish I had considered doing something like a two year nursing program instead of going straight into a four year.

Reactions: Like 1


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## SeanPatrickCornell (Mar 13, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> I've been a part of RH since 2016, except I took a break for over a year! I've been on many a Google Hangout with you, Sean!



OH! Well hi, Nicki!


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## Ryan&Amber2013 (Mar 13, 2019)

I think the church should help singles find a spouse. Part of shepherding in my opinion.

Reactions: Like 4 | Amen 1 | Funny 1


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

What if I never find a spouse?


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## Afterthought (Mar 13, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> What if I never find a spouse?


Oh Nicki. It's hard being single when one does not want to be. As with any affliction, we need to learn to trust God and submit our dreams to his will and plan for our lives; whether the Lord gives one a spouse eventually or not, we need to be okay with the thought that he will not. It is not an easy process, and it is certainly a process. Some days will be easier than others. Learn to serve the Lord in whatever condition you are in. Consider that by being unmarried, you can directly serve the Lord with your gifts; consider that marriage also brings its own sets of problems and potentialy distractions from the Lord (talk with wise, married couples). Delight in him. Pursue godliness. Focus on the work God has given you to do in the present. Finding the right person is pretty much impossible (humanly speaking): in this, as in all areas, we are in total dependence upon the Lord.

Resist temptations to think of God as unable or unwilling to hear your prayers for a spouse. Instead, trust that God is a good Father who gives good gifts to his children; a spouse is a good gift; therefore, the only reason he will not grant a spouse to one who prays in faith for such is that it must be good for that person to be unmarried. Indeed, God withholds no good thing from them who serve him and fear him (Psalm 84), so if one is not given a spouse, then having a spouse must not have been a good thing for that person. Meditate on these things; pray for contentment: Christ's love is better than life itself (Psalm 63).

Try to surround yourself with Christian friends (and not just peers) and families.

Gavin Beers has been preaching in a lot of passages dealing with suffering and prayer. See the ones in Job, etc. You may find them helpful. Have you heard Rob McCurley's lectures on marriage? They are also good for helping to root out idolatry in our own hearts and subordinate marriage to serving the Lord. The upcoming conference with Dr. Krabbendam looks promising too for that end (he apparently has written a good book also), if lectures are posted online or someone takes good notes to share with you. Dr. Beeke's books are useful for that end too.

Reactions: Like 3


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## SeanPatrickCornell (Mar 13, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> What if I never find a spouse?



 I feel your pain.


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## Bill Duncan (Mar 13, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> And women are not women until they get married and have children


No, not at all. You miss my point. You asked where the men are. You do not have to be married. In fact you are married to Christ if you are in him, male or female. There is no biblical mandate that you marry and have children. In fact the opposite applies. The biblical mandate is if you can live without sexual need you are the blessed one. The Happy one. You seemed to be one who was seeking a spouse, who wasn't satisfied with their husband, Christ. So I told you where the men were.


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## Edward (Mar 13, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> Where are the single men



Find out where the single guys from seminary go to church. They should know that they'll have an easier time with a call if they have a suitable wife, so they should be motivated. Be sure to check out their financial posture before you commit, however. Excessive school debt can be a warning sign.

Reactions: Amen 1


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

Bill Duncan said:


> No, not at all. You miss my point. You asked where the men are. You do not have to be married. In fact you are married to Christ if you are in him, male or female. There is no biblical mandate that you marry and have children. In fact the opposite applies. The biblical mandate is if you can live without sexual need you are the blessed one. The Happy one. You seemed to be one who was seeking a spouse, who wasn't satisfied with their husband, Christ. So I told you where the men were.


I understand!


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

Edward said:


> Find out where the single guys from seminary go to church. They should know that they'll have an easier time with a call if they have a suitable wife, so they should be motivated. Be sure to check out their financial posture before you commit, however. Excessive school debt can be a warning sign.


I don't think there's a Reformed seminary nearby. Plus I'm already a member of a church.


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## Edward (Mar 13, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> I don't think there's a Reformed seminary nearby. Plus I'm already a member of a church.



Well, you'll have to set your own priorities. I'm in no position to set them for you.


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## Polanus1561 (Mar 13, 2019)

I have heard of pastors matchmaking single people they know through their travels.

Reactions: Like 1


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

Edward said:


> Well, you'll have to set your own priorities. I'm in no position to set them for you.


Yeah, it's more important to me to stay committed to my church than it is to find a spouse, at least at this time. I've already taken my membership vows.


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## Polanus1561 (Mar 13, 2019)

RPCNA Cali... perhaps you could seek Pacific Presbytery to see what are the channels to get to know more people around your age in general

Reactions: Like 1


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## bookslover (Mar 13, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> What if I never find a spouse?



Here I am, Niki! Here I am! Of course, I'm 66. . .

Reactions: Funny 3


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## ZackF (Mar 13, 2019)

bookslover said:


> Here I am, Niki! Here I am! Of course, I'm 66. . .



It’s not like your Noah or anything!


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## bookslover (Mar 13, 2019)

ZackF said:


> It’s not like your Noah or anything!



LOL. Well, if she's, say, 30, I'd seem like Noah to her! Unless she's a likes-to-think-outside-the-box kind of gal.


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## ZackF (Mar 13, 2019)

bookslover said:


> LOL. Well, if she's, say, 30, I'd seem like Noah to her! Unless she's a likes-to-think-outside-the-box kind of gal.


She does have “picki” in the handle!


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## bookslover (Mar 13, 2019)

ZackF said:


> She does have “picki” in the handle!



I'm very strict as to my criteria for a wife. She must be: (a) female; (b) Christian; (c) breathing. Heh.

Reactions: Like 1


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## ZackF (Mar 13, 2019)

bookslover said:


> She must be: (a) female.


Sad that has to be qualified these days.


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## Ryan&Amber2013 (Mar 13, 2019)

ZackF said:


> Sad that has to be qualified these days.


And c. Breathing. Those robots.... I'm sure you've heard.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Ryan&Amber2013 (Mar 13, 2019)

John Yap said:


> I have heard of pastors matchmaking single people they know through their travels.


I totally agree. Ask the pastors for help.


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

John Yap said:


> RPCNA Cali... perhaps you could seek Pacific Presbytery to see what are the channels to get to know more people around your age in general


I tryyyyyyy
Pacific Presbytery churches aren't very close together though!

Reactions: Sad 1


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## JTB.SDG (Mar 13, 2019)

Hi Nicki,

Not to be trite or simplistic, but I would echo here what I said in @Bill Duncan's recent post on this issue. The year I got married was the year I struggled the most with my singleness; God was putting increased desires for a spouse. It seems you have that. Not to make it a template. But also, I had several people tell me that year they were praying for a spouse for me. I noted that. Lo and behold, God brought along the one He had planned for me. Again, not to be trite, but my best advise to you, outside the normal course of putting yourself in a position where you're interacting with Reformed single men, would be to intentionally bring this need to the Lord yourself, as well as let it known to trusted friends and ask them if they would intentionally pray with you about this. Not to assume you haven't done this already.


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 13, 2019)

JTB.SDG said:


> Hi Nicki,
> 
> Not to be trite or simplistic, but I would echo here what I said in @Bill Duncan's recent post on this issue. The year I got married was the year I struggled the most with my singleness; God was putting increased desires for a spouse. It seems you have that. Not to make it a template. But also, I had several people tell me that year they were praying for a spouse for me. I noted that. Lo and behold, God brought along the one He had planned for me. Again, not to be trite, but my best advise to you, outside the normal course of putting yourself in a position where you're interacting with Reformed single men, would be to intentionally bring this need to the Lord yourself, as well as let it known to trusted friends and ask them if they would intentionally pray with you about this. Not to assume you haven't done this already.


Thank you! I guess I just don't know where in my local area there would be single Reformed men, so I can't put myself out there. Unless I flirt to convert.
Then, even if you find other singles, you gotta get them to like you and find you attractive, which is a whole nother ballgame.


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## Poimen (Mar 14, 2019)

Hi Nikki. Have you talked to your pastor about connecting with other Reformed singles groups? Usually pastors are well connected.


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 14, 2019)

Poimen said:


> Hi Nikki. Have you talked to your pastor about connecting with other Reformed singles groups? Usually pastors are well connected.


Yes!


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## Reformed Covenanter (Mar 14, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> I don't think there's a Reformed seminary nearby. Plus I'm already a member of a church.



How far are you from Westminster Seminary California in Escondido? Being from Northern Ireland, where you can get around the whole place in a few hours, I have no appreciation for distance in an American context. But since it is in the same state as yourself, it might be worth paying a visit if they ever have any conferences that are open to the general public.


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## bookslover (Mar 14, 2019)

Reformed Covenanter said:


> How far are you from Westminster Seminary California in Escondido? Being from Northern Ireland, where you can get around the whole place in a few hours, I have no appreciation for distance in an American context. But since it is in the same state as yourself, it might be worth paying a visit if they ever have any conferences that are open to the general public.



I think she's in northern California, which means that Escondido will be several hundred miles away.


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 14, 2019)

Reformed Covenanter said:


> How far are you from Westminster Seminary California in Escondido? Being from Northern Ireland, where you can get around the whole place in a few hours, I have no appreciation for distance in an American context. But since it is in the same state as yourself, it might be worth paying a visit if they ever have any conferences that are open to the general public.


It takes about ten hours to get to the Oregon boarder from here and 3 or 4 hours to get to the Nevada boarder. Plus, I looked it up, and northern Ireland is a little over 5,200 square miles, while California is over 160,000, just to give some perspective on how big California is. I think I'm about 2 hours from Escondido, though!
https://www.mylifeelsewhere.com/country-size-comparison/ireland/california-usa


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## Pergamum (Mar 14, 2019)

My only dating advice is to be bold. Look for what you want and then go for it. 

My wife was a nursing student. As she was reaching for the last slice of pizza in the hospital cafeteria after working a shift (in an overly tight nurse's dress, she swore it shrunk in the wash), I swooped in and grabbed that last piece of pizza and told her I'd give it back to her if she sat by me (the tables were limited, after all, anyway). I was really just looking for a reason to talk to her. That night we went out and had dinner (I watched her eat and drank water because I only had 15 dollars to my name...but I had boldness). 

So maybe go steal some dude's lunch....it worked for me.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## Jack K (Mar 14, 2019)

Nicki, a few thoughts:

1. You might not get married. You still have Christ, the better Husband. And you might be "single." You are still a daughter of God, which is your true and better identity.

2. Where do you live? This board is one resource that might, possibly be able to help you connect. But all anyone can tell from your signature is that you're from somewhere in California, which isn't specific enough. Put your town in your signature, and someone might say, "I know a guy..."

3. Are widely are you willing to look? Will you consider men who may not be as staunchly Reformed as one finds in the RPCNA, but rather are more broadly Reformed? I would not want you to settle for a poor fit spiritually. But there are godly men in the broadly Reformed camp, and many more of them than you'll find in just the RPCNA. A singles group from a nearby PCA (or a church in that vein) might provide godly fellowship and introduce you to good friends, enlarging your circle while you still attend your current church. Your Christian friendships don't all have to be a perfect spiritual fit to be helpful, both as fellowship and good "networking."

4. It isn't "flirt to convert" if you meet a man who's a godly believer, who cares about you and is eager to grow in faith alongside you, but doesn't line up perfectly with all your convictions. Yes, it's easier when the two of you do line up. But a godly marriage will always be between two people who are growing together, and you may find a guy with whom you can grow even if initially you have a few differences. At least talk it out before you dismiss the guy.

5. If a fellow finds your godliness attractive, you may have a keeper.

Reactions: Like 1 | Rejoicing 1


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## Reformed Covenanter (Mar 14, 2019)

nickipicki123 said:


> I think I'm about 2 hours from Escondido, though!



So, you are not too far away. Why not try to speak to @psycheives who studies (or used to study) at Westminster-CA?


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 14, 2019)

Jack K said:


> Nicki, a few thoughts:
> 
> 1. You might not get married. You still have Christ, the better Husband. And you might be "single." You are still a daughter of God, which is your true and better identity.
> 
> ...


Thank you very much Jack! I am wary of saying my exact location on a public forum, since anyone can read these boards. That is good advice though. I appreciate it!


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 14, 2019)

Reformed Covenanter said:


> So, you are not too far away. Why not try to speak to @psycheives who studies (or used to study) at Westminster-CA?


I will do that. I hadn't considered going to Westminster CA events!

Reactions: Like 1


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 14, 2019)

Pergamum said:


> My only dating advice is to be bold. Look for what you want and then go for it.
> 
> My wife was a nursing student. As she was reaching for the last slice of pizza in the hospital cafeteria after working a shift (in an overly tight nurse's dress, she swore it shrunk in the wash), I swooped in and grabbed that last piece of pizza and told her I'd give it back to her if she sat by me (the tables were limited, after all, anyway). I was really just looking for a reason to talk to her. That night we went out and had dinner (I watched her eat and drank water because I only had 15 dollars to my name...but I had boldness).
> 
> So maybe go steal some dude's lunch....it worked for me.


I love it!


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## Pergamum (Mar 14, 2019)

Please also note your PB Avator pic is a sea creature with his eyes burning out. Ha ha.... If your Facebook profile is the same, men might be running the other direction. For instance, if I were single, my Facebook profile wouldn't be Squidword from Sponge Bob. Not that Sponge Bob and Squidword are not beautiful in their own way....but most women are not looking for Sponge Bob look-alikes. One needn't go full "thot" or "Duckface Narcisssism" but a pretty profile pic and a list of good traits does wonders.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## nickipicki123 (Mar 14, 2019)

Pergamum said:


> Please also note your PB Avator pic is a sea creature with his eyes burning out. Ha ha.... If your Facebook profile is the same, men might be running the other direction. For instance, if I were single, my Facebook profile wouldn't be Squidword from Sponge Bob. Not that Sponge Bob and Squidword are not beautiful in their own way....but most women are not looking for Sponge Bob look-alikes. One needn't go full "thot" or "Duckface Narcisssism" but a pretty profile pic and a list of good traits does wonders.


Nah, I'm just more anonymous here than I am on Facebook. I like to be funny! My profile pic on Facebook is of my beautiful face (this was a requirement to join the Naparc singles group).

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## Poimen (Mar 14, 2019)

I don't mean to be intrusive but, as Jack said, if I knew where you live I could possibly help you. I am a pastor in the St. Lawrence Presbytery of the RPCNA and I went to Westminster Seminary in California for ministerial studies. I also am acquainted with many of the churches in the Southern California area. If you prefer to private message me or email me please do: estaurotai at gmail dot com.

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