# Dear Tech Support



## ReformedWretch (Oct 23, 2004)

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Football 5.0, Huntingand Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please Help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User


REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem about which men are complaining. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfiend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:/APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook it 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstance, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support


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## Me Died Blue (Oct 23, 2004)




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## Sense (Oct 23, 2004)

Well put, but it seems I just upgraded from friend 1.5 to I'm interested 1.7 and received a 1.25 backlash that resulted in I'm interested 1.7 downloading let's get married version 2.5 kids. I am not sure what is happening here, all I know is that as soon as I realized the true function of I'm interested 1.7 I unplugged this computer from the wall and went and hid in the basement, afraid that psycho college sophmore 2.8, a result of I'm interested 1.7 not being able to download let's get married version 2.5 kids, was going to trigger "the bomb" and destroy all civilization.

"I will put emnity between you and the woman" (Genesis 3:15)

Oh, when was scripture ever more coherent and applicable?

-Walker


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