# Upholding Godly standards with extended family?



## moselle (Jun 8, 2009)

I have relatives - immediate family and in-laws - who have fallen deeply into the Word of Faith movement. One family attends Bethel Church in Redding California (Pastored by Bill Johnson, founder/member of the Revival Alliance with Todd Bently, Rick Joyner, & Co.); another family member is a pastor who has been gradually "reforming" his church to look/sound/teach just like Bethel.

Dh and I live halfway across the country from both and so we don't see them often. However, in the next year, we will likely visit and be expected to attend church with them, and we just can't do that. We just can't bring our family to worship in such sick places. 

We continually pray that God will lead them out of the influence of this false gospel and these false teachers, and we are not sure of our ability to counsel them, especially because we don't feel email is a good way to develop that kind of discipling relationship (that may not be the right term - you know what I mean). Plus we are now Presbyterians, and so we have been written off when it comes to anything spiritual.

So how do you go about finding a different church for Sunday worship without completely severing famiy ties? All I can see coming from it is hurt and anger, and perhaps a bit of persecution syndrome. Am I just a coward? What is the Biblical way to approach this?


----------



## Herald (Jun 8, 2009)

In my humble opinion the shortest distance between a misunderstanding and good communication is straight talk. The prudent thing would be to have a frank discussion as to why you will not be attending church with them. Use all the tact, grace, and love you can muster but communicate clearly and concisely your reasons for not going to their church. Will you receive back lash? It's quite possible. You need to be prepared for that type of response.

May the Lord grant you wisdom.


----------



## BJClark (Jun 8, 2009)

Or you could attend the services and then discuss the sermon AFTER WARDS..

Search the scriptures and compare what God says that is contrary to what is being taught from the pulpit, then allow the Holy Spirit to work to bring about changes..or not..


----------



## AThornquist (Jun 8, 2009)

BJClark said:


> Or you could attend the services and then discuss the sermon AFTER WARDS..
> 
> Search the scriptures and compare what God says that is contrary to what is being taught from the pulpit, then allow the Holy Spirit to work to bring about changes..or not..



Wouldn't that be equivalent to not going to church at all, though? They already know the church is not biblical, so going there just to point out bad theology does not seem very sabbathy. 

Plus, if the family has kids (I don't know if they do), going to such a freak show could be damaging. 

Just my


----------



## rbcbob (Jun 8, 2009)

moselle said:


> I have relatives - immediate family and in-laws - who have fallen deeply into the Word of Faith movement. ...
> * we just can't do that. We just can't bring our family to worship in such sick places. *
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## TheocraticMonarchist (Jun 8, 2009)

AThornquist said:


> BJClark said:
> 
> 
> > Or you could attend the services and then discuss the sermon AFTER WARDS..
> ...




Children are often confused/scared upon their first visit to a charismatic church. Coming from a Assemblies of God background, I would not expose them to it. 

I would also be conscious of the heresy that they may be exposed to in a WoF church.


----------



## christiana (Jun 8, 2009)

What's wrong with taking a bold stand for truth. Tell the honest reasons why you choose not to attend services where truth does not prevail. Be willing to experience the consequences of this, either outright hostility and rejection or 'hurt feeling'. But, stand up for truth and do so without compromise!
I can tell you exactly what it feels like, like grief, like someone died but there is no casket, no funeral, no burial but the same extreme pain of having lost my son who declares he wants no part of me or my faith or beliefs! I've never been rude or confrontive. I did bring up a question if he and his girlfriend had considered marriage. Well that was reminder of guilt to him and he has severed all ties! Should we quietly act as though wrong beliefs and or blatant sin are acceptable or do we declare our allegiance to Jesus Christ, who experienced much worse for His stand?
Yes, its better to obey God rather than man and there is a time to be who you are in Christ and not a passive, agreeable blender in to error!


----------



## Scott1 (Jun 8, 2009)

> Romans 12:18
> 
> 18If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.



Do not cut them off.

Remember, God appoints the circumstances. You have this access and these people for a reason. Try even, by God's grace to be thankful for that.

I would not ordinarily recommend going to their church. Do as you would normally do on the Lord's Day, invite them to go with you, if they will not, invite them over for a meal after church or to Bible reading in your home or to an evening service where you will worship.

If they ask why you will not go to their church, answer by saying the positive reasons you are going to your biblical, reformed presbyterian church not by explaining what is wrong with theirs. If they specifically ask what is wrong with their church, tell them briefly (sometimes I find an explanation like "a man-centered rather than God-centered theology" as an entree. Keep answering based on their questions but don't go much beyond those. Be gracious).

Would I avoid discussing the doctrines to avoid "conflict?" No. In the ordinary course of things, talk about the priority of Lord's Day worship, the doctrines of grace, what God is doing in your life, even how you are understanding covenant theology as all of Scripture interpreting all of Scripture.

Pray God will give you opportunity, that offense will be worked around to His Honor and His Glory.

These folks may be saved also, let that temper this, even though they have seriously wrong doctrines of and practices toward our God.

Likely they have not studied Scripture in context much at all, only following what is taught by various leaders. Don't be afraid to engage people with the Word of God as you would in the ordinary course of your life.


----------



## Wannabee (Jun 8, 2009)

Great advice Scott. Another possible opportunity is to simply share what Christ has been teaching you lately, or ways you've been growing in Christ, keeping Christ the center of the discussion. Often people with poor theology, or who think they're saved, aren't sure how to respond to this because they don't experience it. A simple, "Isn't it amazing how God uses circumstances in our lives to draw us closer to Him?" either preceded or followed by an example could work as well. 
May God give grace, discernment and wisdom. And may you and your family be a beacon He uses to draw your family closer to Him.


----------



## toddpedlar (Jun 8, 2009)

BJClark said:


> Or you could attend the services and then discuss the sermon AFTER WARDS..
> 
> Search the scriptures and compare what God says that is contrary to what is being taught from the pulpit, then allow the Holy Spirit to work to bring about changes..or not..



Going to worship with them and then telling them that you don't believe the message to be Biblical, or the church's doctrine to be so takes all the power out of any criticism you might make. If all you're going to do is, in effect, tell them you don't think going there is a good idea, but you were willing to do so anyway, you have undermined your own arguments. (not much different than the discussion we had a while ago about attending a Joyce Meyers conference)


----------



## toddpedlar (Jun 8, 2009)

moselle said:


> Dh and I live halfway across the country from both and so we don't see them often. However, in the next year, we will likely visit and be expected to attend church with them, and we just can't do that. We just can't bring our family to worship in such sick places.



The word of faith movement is heretical. You should no more attend church there than attend a Jehovah's Witness worship service, or attend church with Mormons or Unitarians. Do not pass go.

Bill's already hit the nail on the head. Tell them plainly your concerns, and that you dearly love them. (not in that order). Tell them your conscience will not allow you to attend and explain your reasons in love. If your relationship suffers a blow because of this, God has ordained it, and the purpose for you in it, and them, if they are His, is all good. You cannot compromise on this sort of thing - to do so damages your witness in a significant way, I think.


----------



## moselle (Jun 9, 2009)

Thanks everyone - we do have several children and I don't want to expose them to this kind of nonsense (especially not the little ones.) And mainly we want to participate in a God honoring service on the Lord's Day. I will begin looking for nearby reformed churches that we could attend instead, and go from there. I do want to maintain peace as much as possible - I believe that they are sincerely trying to seek God, they are just sincerely deceived.


----------

