# Children, illness and the Lord's day



## king of fools (Apr 22, 2007)

Seeking advice on an atypical situation,

We've only attended worship services maybe 5 times as a family since the beginning of this year. Our church's nursery has a "no-runny nose rule" where children are not allowed if they have a runny nose at all. The problem is that our 2 year old has a runny nose or cough due to reflux and allergies at least 50% of the time. The answer we get to allergies is "we don't know that it's just allergies."


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## Dagmire (Apr 22, 2007)

You might try getting something in writing from a doctor that states that the child suffers from allergies, which cause the runny noses.

Does your son take any allergy medicine? It might help to relieve the symptoms so that they wouldn't worry the nursery attendants.


It sounds like they're being quite unreasonable. What parent doesn't know when his own child is sick? And how can they not trust your word that your son has allergies?

Are there any other problems that you have with the church? Are you fed well spiritually when you do go? Is there true fellowship going on there?


I will pray for resolution of this situation.


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## king of fools (Apr 22, 2007)

Well, it's a well known issue, he had sinus surgery in December, adenoids out, etc. Since birth he's had several medical issues including 4 total surgeries such as sinuses, ear tubes, and two stomach procedures, 50+ doctors appointments, special forumla called neocate, feeding aversion, etc. 

This isn't the right place to talk about church support for all of that, but my main concern is the spiritual feeding of my family.


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## 5solasmom (Apr 22, 2007)

Our church just has a nursing/toddler room with no workers/attendants - it's for the parents to use when their littles aren't able to sit without distraction. We rarely use it, and just prefer to use the foyer for that purpose instead.

My dh and I take turns with who has our littlest one for church and Sunday School each Lord's Day, as we have an almost 2yo. He usually sits fairly well until about the time when the sermon starts and he's reached his limit.  Dh or I will take him out into the foyer and continue to sit with him there. For SS, we switch. 

The process has worked well for us. For our older two (now 6 and 8), they were able to sit through a full service at about 3-4yo. For my husband and I, we didn't miss as much since we took turns. 



HTH!


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## Herald (Apr 22, 2007)

Steve - I don't mean to sound critical. I understand how frustrating this situation must be for you and your wife. But it just doesn't seem right to leave a church over a runny nose policy. It is something that must be addressed.

I would ask for a formal meeting with the pastor and/or elders. Even though they may already have an understanding of your family situation, I would make sure it is brought up at a sit down meeting. Tell them what is happening and how it has effected your family being able to attend church together. Ask them for their help. Bring ideas of your own. Commit yourself to find a solution to this problem. Do not allow a runny nose policy to cause you to break fellowship.


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## king of fools (Apr 22, 2007)

Well, the reason that I ask here is to get other folks opinions. Honestly, I don't have a whole lot of experience with this type of situation and don't really know what other denomonations do.


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## LadyFlynt (Apr 23, 2007)

Though I feel for you...I do side with the nursery workers on this one. I used to be a primary worker in a church nursery. YOU say your child has a runny nose. Yes, it may be due to allergies, but when he aquires a cold, how do you tell the difference and how soon can you tell? The nurseries have had plenty of parents that thought it was nothing, then found out it was a cold on top of allergies, the next thing you know an immune compromised child is in the hospital with RSV or worse (happened to me with my oldest and I know a child that IS immune compromised at another church and we were ask to keep our children out of all sunday school class during runny noses/colds).

I also have to note the "my child *can't* sit still" bit. Yes, he can. He just won't. That is where you come in. We all go through it.

Why don't you try "blanket training" at home. Choose one particular blanket. Then use that blanket on his seat at church. It's an object that will be connected with the action and behaviour of "sitting quietly".


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## Barnpreacher (Apr 23, 2007)

This is a tough situation. 

I can understand the nursery workers side of the situation, but at the same time the policy can probably be taken somewhat to the extreme. Kids are going to come into contact with other sick kids. They go to school together, the store together, play in their yards together etc. You can't shield your children from all germs. The Lord knows I wish I could with my daughter because I'm one of those "clean freaks."

I think parents just have to use their discretion and if their child is feeling poorly they should keep them at home. If they're sick that's probably the best thing for them anyway.


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## JonathanHunt (Apr 23, 2007)

To be perfectly frank, I followed the link to your church website where all your elders email addresses are. What prevents you sending what you have written to them, asking for a meeting to discuss these issues?

Blessings


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