# Are you too serious?



## George Bailey (Jan 19, 2010)

Have you been accused of being too serious, or uptight? Or, more importantly, have you seen that mindset, or people's perception of that mindset in you, increase with your growing understanding of the things of God, the study of His truth, the witness of His working in this life?

I've been getting "messages" from people lately, that I'm too serious; I view everything through a lens of problem/fix, or current state/ideal state/path to get there. I've lost my ability to have fun. I do have a good sense of humor, and enjoy having meals and "liberties" with close friends, but there's some type of element of joy that seems to be waning as I learn and grow in my Theology.

There are manifestations of this at work, at home, and at Church...but, the truth IS serious, the problems numerous, the needs great, the lack of conformance to perfection real and evident, and there is much work to do!

Thoughts? any pertinent Scriptures that come to mind?


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## Zenas (Jan 19, 2010)

Do you like scotch?


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## Amazing Grace (Jan 19, 2010)

Andrew, I was going to say the exact same thing!!!!!

Perhaps you can change your avatar also Brian. That picture does not look like a bundle of joyous fun either.


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## George Bailey (Jan 19, 2010)

Definately, and smoking, too... but, there's something that I'm thinking about beyond enjoyments of temporal blessings (which I do enjoy) but more about losing some of the "lightheartedness" in daily life...maybe one of the different aspects of the Biblical joy that we are commanded to?

Also, apologies for wording this too much about me...I didn't mean to make this a "therepeutic" thread, but wondering if the "puritan path" is one of increasing seriousness/solemnity, and what others' experiences are...


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## Zenas (Jan 19, 2010)

At least once a day I skip down the hall of my office. I'm not kidding. Try doing some non-serious things.


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## Amazing Grace (Jan 19, 2010)

George Bailey said:


> Definitely, and smoking, too... but, there's something that I'm thinking about beyond enjoyments of temporal blessings (which I do enjoy) but more about losing some of the "lightheartedness" in daily life...maybe one of the different aspects of the Biblical joy that we are commanded to?
> 
> Also, apologies for wording this too much about me...I didn't mean to make this a "therapeutic" thread, but wondering if the "puritan path" is one of increasing seriousness/solemnity, and what others' experiences are...



Did you used to be a fun guy to hang around with? Or have you always been very starched?


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## jrdnoland (Jan 19, 2010)

Brian, you are not alone. I too am accused of being too serious. I try to live my life by 1 Cor 10:31. Perhaps like me you are just "wired" to be serious, who are we to argue with the way God made us? Perhaps as we learn more we will become more or less serious?

My attitude now is that if I don't think it glorifies God then I won't do it or I won't even talk about it. I struggle with these things and have to guard myself against spiritual pride. I'm not necessarily better, than someone who is less serious; just different. God will be our rewarder, do what He is putting on your heart and consider the rest rubbish.


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## Zenas (Jan 19, 2010)

Jeff can't be too serious: look at those hampsters on leashes in his picture.


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## Wayne (Jan 19, 2010)

George Bailey, here's what I'm going to do for you:







George, you just need to change your avatar, for starters.


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## lynnie (Jan 19, 2010)

You can be serious but still have humor, or be lighthearted and funloving in a shallow way.

I can only speak for myself that I most appreciate fellowship now with serious people. We look at the collapsing economy in the USA and the serious lack of jobs and so many brethren suffering, and add in the global situation ( so bad in so many places) and now this Haiti earthquake, and it seems like a time to be in much prayer and very serious. To everything there is a season, a time to laugh, a time to weep. I believe we face hard times in the USA, and as far as the church goes, well, between Joel Osteen as the best seller and the Reformed going into things like FV and denial of inerrancy, I'd say serious is good. Serious to lead you to pray for mercy and for a revival.


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## AThornquist (Jan 19, 2010)

Are you content?


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## jambo (Jan 19, 2010)

There is a time to laugh and a time to be serious. The gospel is a serious message for a dying world. Just as doctors are serious when dealing with cancer patients, and rightly so, so to should Christians be in dealing as dying men to dying men. However having said that there is a time to lighten up and have fun as well as I sometimes think the perception the world has of Christians being dour kill joys is not without some justification. 

Nehemiah was a serious man with his fair share of trials and concerns yet what kept him going was "The joy of the Lord is our strength". Although love may be that which motivates us, joy is the element that oils the soul enabling it to endure much. Not a superficial joy but the fruit of the Spirit the Lord grants to his children.

Jesus said he came to give life and to give it abundantly. If you came from an Arminian background the chances are that evangelism focused on getting to heaven and enjoying life in the hereafter. Life in the present world was to be endured until we reach heaven. I believe that as serious as we are, the present life is to be enjoyed to the full. Laugh when it is the time for laughing; cry when it is the time for crying; be serious when it is the time for being serious; post on the PB when it is time for posting on the PB!

Finally as the Westminster shorter catechism so ably puts it in the opening answer: "Mans chief is to glorify God and to ENJOY Him forever" I think when one loses the joy of the Lord, or when one stops enjoying God then our Christian lives lose that colour and perhaps some of the sentiments you express come more to the fore.


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## George Bailey (Jan 19, 2010)

As to the "wired" questions, I guess the quote from my namesake's movie, IAWL "you were BORN older, George!" does describe me. I used to (when I was younger) be more lighthearted, but I've focused on problem resolution/productivity/accomplishments for so long, combined with a possibly over-exaggerated sense of responsibility, combined with many recent serious events in my "experience" lately, seem to be changing my outlook and approach to things. 

Again, didn't mean to make this all about me, but more about whether this was a common characteristic in the "puritan-loving" community...

I appreciate all of your encouragement, and will take any and all advice...


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## AThornquist (Jan 19, 2010)

Everyone is different and thus manifests seriousness in different ways, but there are also different kinds of seriousness. We *should* be serious about sin, hell, purity, etc. That is quite different than refusing to smile when your kid makes a silly knock-knock joke. 

For myself, I become much more introverted and serious (in the wrong ways) when I have sinned, am momentarily unrepentant, or am feeling distanced from God. Conversely, when I feel the Lord's Spirit and am walking faithfully before him I am much more joyful, talkative, and silly. It is when my walk is pure that I likewise see serious things in their proper place, so discernment dictates whether I am lighthearted or serious in a given circumstance.


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## MW (Jan 19, 2010)

Dear brother,

Rather than see such statements as an indication that there is something wrong in your mental outlook, I would encourage you to see soberness and vigilance as a sign of earnestness in fighting the fight of faith. 1 Peter 5:8 comes to mind: "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." Once a good soldier of Jesus Christ has engaged this enemy his view of the world will instinctively take on a serious outlook. Sadly, too few professing Christians properly understand the nature of the conflict they are engaged in; one can only wonder, at what cost? Were a soldier on the field of battle to engage in warfare with the flippant attitude many Christians go about their interaction with the world, he would be severely disciplined by his commanding officer, if not thrown out of the army.

John Bunyan knew something of what it means to be engaged in this battle and the kind of deportment it takes. In the Pilgrim's Progress, when Christian came to the gate, he came across Goodwill, who is described as "a grave person." His actions were a little difficult for Christian to understand, for, as the pilgrim was stepping in, we are told that Goodwill "gave him a pull." The narrative continues, "Then said Christian, What means that? The other told him, A little distance from this gate there is erected a strong castle, of which Beelzebub is the captain: from thence both he and they that are with him, shoot arrows at those that come up to this gate, if haply they may die before they can enter in. Then said Christian, I rejoice and tremble." A Christian who is genuinely seeking to flee the wrath to come and to find his way to the celestial city will rejoice at the gravity and serious endeavours of his fellow Christians while he trembles to think of the opposition he must meet with in the way.


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## Christopher88 (Jan 19, 2010)

You know brother some folks are made to be serious. God Bless those who are. I'm a half n half guy. When I have to be serious I'm a great leader. My boss relys on me because she knows I can take care of things. Today one of the children I work with had a swing hit her nose. She came to me with blood all over hands. I was calm and serious. I took care of her, and got the bleeding to stop. That is a time in when I have to be serious. 

Now when I'm out with a friend, I'll have a less serious attitude. 

With my hobbies, such as camping I'm in my zone. I'm having fun, climbing on mountains, drinking a cold one, setting controlled fires, hunting for sticks in the woods. Its my time of fun. 

So the key is to find balance. If your not happy I would dare ask; are you bring glory to God. Life is to be enjoyed now and in the after.


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## etexas (Jan 19, 2010)

A LOT of people think I am far too serious! Seriously, ask around...... Speaking of which...I can't find my Wii control...hmmm


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## jrdnoland (Jan 19, 2010)

Now, I do not believe that you are serious. Looking at your new avatar I have to ask myself:

Do Cigars Cause Cancer? 


Cigar smoking increases the risk of death from several cancers, including cancer of the lung, oral cavity (lip, tongue, mouth, throat), esophagus (the tube connecting the mouth to the stomach), and larynx (voice box). Smoking more cigars each day or inhaling cigar smoke leads to more exposure and higher risks. For those who inhale, cigar smoking appears to be linked to cancer of the pancreas and bladder as well. 
Most large scale studies have looked at the number of deaths from cancer in cigar smokers, not the number of cancer cases. While this might lead to an underestimation of the number of cancer cases caused by cigar smoking, the figures are still alarming. 

My next question is what does God say about our bodies:

The believer must yield his or her whole life without any reserve to God. Our bodies are sacred temples, holy unto the Lord. God has claimed by means of redemption our bodies, and what He claimed for His holy purpose we must yield to Him. “I beg you, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice” (Rom. 12:1). We will do what the apostle admonishes as we remind ourselves that we are His holy temple. If we have learned that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, we will keep it undefiled. “Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.”

If you are just trying to be silly to fit it, then you are not a serious person. 
If you don’t think that God wants us to take care of the bodies he has given us, then you are not a serious person.

Sorry, I don't see a problem with taking things seriously. Being serious doesn't mean you can't have fun; it doesn't mean you don't have the joy of the Lord. It just means what matters to God is more important to you than what matters to man.


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## awretchsavedbygrace (Jan 19, 2010)

I rather be a serious than a clown. I really dont care if people dislike my seriousness. My life is too short to be joking around. At the same time there should be a balance..On a lighter note, can we be friends?  

Us serious people need to stick together. =)


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## Susanna (Jan 19, 2010)

I work with children. I HAVE to cultiviate a balance between lighthearted and series depending on the need of the lesson, the moment, the student. I think being serious is only natural when one has a heavy heart, (or for the reasons already mentioned like one's personality or sense of deportment about the gravity of this life). I'll add that if one doesn't experience many conforts from other brethren one can be rather dry, too. ... at first. I went through a very long spell without comforts. I still know much of that. But, I don't know how to explain this but slowly I realized "this is it" for right now. I can deal with all these struggles (like my cottage fire last night, pounding on neighbors doors in the middle of the night, no one answering for a while) with a roll up my sleeves attitude where I consider all the what fors and what nots but ... I can also let every piece of input that comes my way seem as though God picked it for me because He loves me and takes joy in my and pleasure in my life right now as it is ... how can I not work out a sense of lighthearted response to such things before the Lord ... it honors Him, I think. 

In many ways, we choose our countenance. 

I've been dealing all day with how to clean this mess up (from the smoke) and I'm sensing right now just how tired I am and all that needs to be done, and how alone I am in doing it or in sharing what's going on with anyone so I'm likely to start crying in a few minutes but while I'm crying I'll start talking to God and I'm likely to ask Him to forgive me for crying, thank Him for counting my tears, thank Him for sparing my life, marvel over the fact that I actually woke up from that sound sleep to a house full of smoke ... and though I stink like something burnt and so does my cat, and pillow, I'll go to sleep dreaming of getting a new robe in heaven, avoiding the stench of hell and I'll probably laugh a wee bit about the fact that this is my only hell. 

Also, knowing myself fairly well, I'll probably wake up feeling "ugh", "so much work to get done before 7 AM even" but I'll tell myself, or God, "dude, I'm alive". "I woke up again". And maybe even "Father, I don't live in Haiti".


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## etexas (Jan 19, 2010)

I think God made us all unique, I like that our LORD was not using a "cosmic-cookie cutter". I have friends who are serous and we enjoy hanging out, I tend to like jokes and laughing and it helps my serious friends laugh and blow off steam, for me my serious friends act as my balance, to bring me to states of reflection, I think neither is good our ill, the Church is corporate, a body of unique individuals with different personalities and outlooks in Christ Our Lord this diversity that would be impossible to unite as an organic whole becomes this symphonic unit of divine praise symphonic in that it is under a united "movement" yet, like a symphony as well in that diverse instruments in shape, size, and sound are brought under a great "Maestro" to display his Divine Power in holding true diversity in unity to a hymn of Praise. Nations, powers, leaders, political theories have promised tried and................failed to bring unity out of Diversity. I am love my Nation, yet our seal as seen on currency promises unity from diversity, yet the USA can never bring this about, it is a humanistic pipe dream borne in Masonic "Brotherhood of Man" ideology. It is but wistful thinking. Hinduism, "All is One" promises much the same, they fail as well a glance at their caste system gives a face to the lie. It is an area in which Christians can and should rejoice! Christ is the "factor" that can make what others dream of in a utopian haze......a tangible reality. Hence the caution against biting and devouring one another, if division is in the Church, it an evil we carry in, the submission to Christ can overcome these things. Peter walked on water, he only began to founder when he looked at the waves, not to Christ! Like Peter, we may walk on water but...only with our eyes on Christ. The Lord who saves, protects and unites His Own. Blessings in that Name.


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## JBaldwin (Jan 19, 2010)

When things get too serious, that is the time when we need to fix our eyes on Jesus... who for the joy set before Him endure the cross. His life was a mixture of true joy and sorrow. He was very serious, yet I believe He was the most joyful man on the face of the earth.


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## etexas (Jan 19, 2010)

JBaldwin said:


> When things get too serious, that is the time when we need to fix our eyes on Jesus... who for the joy set before Him endure the cross. His life was a mixture of true joy and sorrow. He was very serious, yet I believe He was the most joyful man on the face of the earth.


A Priest once told me me :There is a secret smile on the face of God. I rather like that. We know our Lord wept, did he smile or ever laugh? While Scripture are not explicit, in the orthodox concept of the hypostatic union, his humanity was full, I like to think that (while never silly, or absurd) that he could have laughed at times. As for needing to look to Christ when things are serious: No, in joy and sorrow, in peace or anxiety, in pain or comfort, EVER are the eyes of the Christian to be upon the Saviour.


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## kvanlaan (Jan 19, 2010)

I can be too serious. My brother is fairly certain I was born 400 years too late. However, I have a lot of responsibility in life and that requires a certain amount of sobriety. I certainly enjoy a good laugh, but struggle with what some might consider minutiae instead of just letting it slide.

I think as long as you can still laugh when appropriate and let down your guard now and then around the kids, it is not harmful, and may make a better role model in the long run.


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## py3ak (Jan 20, 2010)

Ecclesiastes 7:3 says that sorrow is better than laughter, because by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. But Proverbs says that a merry heart does good like medicine. I think you can illustrate this fairly well from gravity (let my science fiction reading not fail me now - if it does you still get the point, I hope) - in the sense given to it by physics. On a planet sufficiently massive you'd be crushed flat, unable to function or to move - at least very much. It's a crushing and oppressive gravity. But in a zero-g environment, any contact between two items can be troublesome, because you have no weight to tie you down, so a slight push can send you far away from where you wanted to be. You need gravity to make you solid: and so it is true that sorrow is better than laughter. There are serious issues in play - issues of life and death, of eternal life and the second death, and the day-to-day realities are not irrelevant to the ultimate outcome. The frivolous need to come to be earnest, to take life seriously, because real things are at stake. But at the same time as there such massive issues, there are also 14-inch hats with glass grapes on top. It would be foolish not to laugh at such things. A merry heart does good like medicine, and the somber, the oppressed, the cast down, the perenially flattened need to learn some merriment.
[bible]Proverbs 15:13[/bible]
[bible]Proverbs 15:15[/bible]
[bible]Proverbs 17:22[/bible]


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## Backwoods Presbyterian (Jan 20, 2010)

Zenas said:


> At least once a day I skip down the hall of my office. I'm not kidding. Try doing some non-serious things.


 
When I get stressed at work or things are slow I go in a trailer at work on my forklift and play jingle bells or some other tune with my horn.


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## TimV (Jan 20, 2010)

Someone Andrew's size skipping. That's a picture!


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## etexas (Jan 20, 2010)

TimV said:


> Someone Andrew's size skipping. That's a picture!


Hmmm! He did shrink! OK, who washed Andrew's avatar in the hot cycle! I told you to be careful.....cold....and delicate cycle...I have tell you people everything!


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## Peairtach (Jan 20, 2010)

I've been accused of being too facetious.


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## Christusregnat (Jan 20, 2010)

Yes.


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## etexas (Jan 20, 2010)

Christusregnat said:


> Yes.


Adam....was that a yes to the OP....or are you just using affirmation as a universal reductionism...although it has an appeal......hmmmm "Yes!"


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## INsearch (Jan 20, 2010)

In regards to the OP i share your problem  only my humor before being Christian was very crude...very naughty, however seemed to tickle everyones little ole funny bone. I get carried away when I get into the "hysteric" mind set, thus I watch myself and as a result I'm not as open or "wacky" as I used to be, because I find it difficult to watch myself and keep guard against sin when I get into my ole "funny rut"


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## Christusregnat (Jan 21, 2010)

etexas said:


> Christusregnat said:
> 
> 
> > Yes.
> ...


 
Yes.


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