# should marriage be integrated into a worship service?



## rembrandt (May 20, 2004)

Is it a violation of the regulative principle to have a marriage ceremony in a worship service? What is the Biblical justification?

Rembrandt

[Edited on 5-20-2004 by rembrandt]


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## Contra_Mundum (May 20, 2004)

*I think it would be mixing things up quite a bit*

I would disfavor the idea of putting of a wedding [i:622b3c9b42]into[/i:622b3c9b42] an already existing worship service, at least in part because of the Regulative Principle. It also seems to me that the two events are significantly different in purpose. Back in seminary, my professor for &quot;Reformed Worship&quot; basically felt the marriage ceremony wasn't technically a worship service. I.e. it wasn't a gathering of the people of God for the public worship of God. 

I would describe a Christian marriage ceremony as a solemnization of the marriage covenant, where God is actively acknowledged, many elements used in the public worship of God are often (but not always) found there, and other things which have no place in worship, the main difference being the main purpose for the assembly. The elders of the church have not called this meeting, they are not presiding, though a minister may be. The building, if one is even used, is immaterial to the conduct of the wedding. The constituent parts are as varied as the participants. Weddings are considered perfectly valid--even for Christians--if they are performed by a justice of the peace. 

My own church building wedding [i:622b3c9b42]felt[/i:622b3c9b42] a lot like a worship service because included in it were hymn/psalm singing, public prayer, a message based on a text of Scripture given by a minster, even a benediction at the end. But it wasn't a [i:622b3c9b42]actually[/i:622b3c9b42] a worship service, at least in my mind.


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## Ianterrell (May 20, 2004)

I went to my first &quot;reformed wedding&quot; earlier this year. It was a sweet little assembly I tell you. Good preaching that day.


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## sundoulos (Jun 9, 2004)

Rick Warren conducts a &quot;special event&quot; worship service in which he both marries hundreds of couples (who often are unbelievers) and &quot;re-marries&quot; others who want to re-covenant. I find this repugnant.

A worship service has for its focus the person of Jesus Christ; a wedding ceremony has for its focus the bride and groom. This, in itself, is a violation of the regulative principle.


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## C. Matthew McMahon (Jun 9, 2004)

*WCF on Solemization of Marriage*

The Solemnization of Marriage. 

ALTHOUGH marriage be no sacrament, nor peculiar to the church of God, but common to mankind, and of publick interest in every commonwealth; yet, because such as marry are to marry in the Lord, and have special need of instruction, direction, and exhortation, from the word of God, at their entering into such a new condition, and of the blessing of God upon them therein, we judge it expedient that marriage be solemnized by a lawful minister of the word, that he may accordingly counsel them, and pray for a blessing upon them.

Marriage is to be betwixt one man and one woman only; and they such as are not within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity prohibited by the word of God; and the parties are to be of years of discretion, fit to make their own choice, or, upon good grounds, to give their mutual consent.

Before the solemnizing of marriage between any persons, the purpose of marriage shall be published by the minister three several sabbath-days, in the congregation, at the place or places of their most usual and constant abode, respectively. And of this publication the minister who is to join them in marriage shall have sufficient testimony, before he proceed to solemnize the marriage.

Before that publication of such their purpose, (if the parties be under age,) the consent of the parents, or others under whose power they are, (in case the parents be dead,) is to be made known to the church officers of that congregation, to be recorded.

The like is to be observed in the proceedings of all others, although of age, whose parents are living, for their first marriage.

And, in after marriages of either of those parties, they shall be exhorted not to contract marriage without first acquainting their parents with it, (if with conveniency it may be done,) endeavouring to obtain their consent.

Parents ought not to force their children to marry without their free consent, nor deny their own consent without just cause.

After the purpose or contract of marriage hath been thus published, the marriage is not to be long deferred. Therefore the minister, having had convenient warning, and nothing being objected to hinder it, is publickly to solemnize it in the place appointed by authority for publick worship, before a competent number of credible witnesses, at some convenient hour of the day, at any time of the year, except on a day of publick humiliation. [b:4fd100b10c]And we advise that it be not on the Lord's day.[/b:4fd100b10c]

And because all relations are sanctified by the word and prayer, the minister is to pray for a blessing upon them, to this effect:

&quot;Acknowledging our sins, whereby we have made ourselves less than the least of all the mercies of God, and provoked him to embitter all our comforts; earnestly, in the name of Christ, to entreat the Lord (whose presence and favour is the happiness of every condition, and sweetens every relation) to be their portion, and to own and accept them in Christ, who are now to be joined in the honourable estate of marriage, the covenant of their God: and that, as he hath brought them together by his providence, he would sanctify them by his Spirit, giving them a new frame of heart fit for their new estate; enriching them with all graces whereby they may perform the duties, enjoy the comforts, undergo the cares, and resist the temptations which accompany that condition, as becometh Christians.&quot;

The prayer being ended, it is convenient that the minister do briefly declare unto them, out of the scripture,

&quot;The institution, use, and ends of marriage, with the conjugal duties, which, in all faithfulness, they are to perform each to other; exhorting them to study the holy word of God, that they may learn to live by faith, and to be content in the midst of all marriage cares and troubles, sanctifying God's name, in a thankful, sober, and holy use of all conjugal comforts; praying much with and for one another; watching over and provoking each other to love and good works; and to live together as the heirs of the grace of life.&quot;

After solemn charging of the persons to be married, before the great God, who searcheth all hearts, and to whom they must give a strict account at the last day, that if either of them know any cause, by precontract or otherwise, why they may not lawfully proceed to marriage, that they now discover it; the minister (if no impediment be acknowledged) shall cause first the man to take the woman by the right hand, saying these words:

I N. do take thee N. to be my married wife, and do, in the presence of God, and before this congregation, promise and covenant to be a loving and faithful husband unto thee, until God shall separate us by death.

Then the woman shall take the man by the right hand, and say these words:

I N. do take thee N. to be my married husband, and I do, in the presence of God, and before this congregation, promise and covenant to be a loving, faithful, and obedient wife unto thee, until God shall separate us by death.

Then, without any further ceremony, the minister shall, in the face of the congregation, pronounce them to be husband and wife, according to God's ordinance; and so conclude the action with prayer to this effect:

&quot;That the Lord would be pleased to accompany his own ordinance with his blessing, beseeching him to enrich the persons now married, as with other pledges of his love, so particularly with the comforts and fruits of marriage, to the praise of his abundant mercy, in and through Christ Jesus.&quot;

A register is to be carefully kept, wherein the names of the parties so married, with the time of their marriage, are forthwith to be fairly recorded in a book provided for that purpose, for the perusal of all whom it may concern.


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## Ianterrell (Jun 9, 2004)

Matthew what do you feel about preaching during the marriage?


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## C. Matthew McMahon (Jun 9, 2004)

I would agree it shoudl be done.

This is the section on that:

The prayer being ended, it is convenient that the minister do briefly [b:879524f628]declare[/b:879524f628] unto them, [b:879524f628]out of the scripture,[/b:879524f628] 

&quot;The institution, use, and ends of marriage, with the conjugal duties, which, in all faithfulness, they are to perform each to other; exhorting them to study the holy word of God, that they may learn to live by faith, and to be content in the midst of all marriage cares and troubles, sanctifying God's name, in a thankful, sober, and holy use of all conjugal comforts; praying much with and for one another; watching over and provoking each other to love and good works; and to live together as the heirs of the grace of life.&quot; 

After [b:879524f628]solemn charging[/b:879524f628] of the persons to be married,

[Edited on 6-9-2004 by webmaster]


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## Ianterrell (Jun 9, 2004)

I see, thanks for the clarification!


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