# Discipline and guidance for infants?



## JessB (Feb 10, 2006)

My husband and I have started to notice the strong will of our 7 month old daughter. She can be quite demanding at times (no big surprise). Being first-time parents, it took us awhile to distinguish the difference between when she is crying for a reason (hunger, tiredness, etc) and when she's just angry or wanting her own way. My question is at what point should you start disciplining them to shape their behaviour and what methods are appropriate for a baby? Or is it still too early to be worrying about this?


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## Puritanhead (Feb 10, 2006)

My mom used to discipline me as a toddler, and take me over the knee after I messed my room up. Everytime she asked if I would clean my room up, I said resoundingly "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" It became rather pointless for her to keep smacking my butt as it got redder, and my WILL was unshaken. She actually felt bad afterwards. Some kids cannot be disciplined... they're little _hellians_ like I was.


Childhood rebellion! You haven't seen anything yet! What until you have a son! MU HU HU HA HAH HAH HAH HAH.


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## biblelighthouse (Feb 10, 2006)

> _Originally posted by JessB_
> My husband and I have started to notice the strong will of our 7 month old daughter. She can be quite demanding at times (no big surprise). Being first-time parents, it took us awhile to distinguish the difference between when she is crying for a reason (hunger, tiredness, etc) and when she's just angry or wanting her own way. My question is at what point should you start disciplining them to shape their behaviour and what methods are appropriate for a baby? Or is it still too early to be worrying about this?



Once you see clear rebellion, it is never too early to start discipline.

My wife and I have 3 small daughters, with one more due to arrive in March. Our twins turned 3 yesterday, and Andrea turns 2 next month.

I do not go for spanking tiny babies. But if an infant clearly demonstrates a rebellious will, you don't have to captiulate to the crying. When there are real needs, meet them. But when the child clearly demonstrates a strong will, ignore her and let her cry.

Never make her feel unloved, or fail to meet any actual needs. But also do not reward rebellion, no matter how young it starts.

Those are my , anyway.


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## raderag (Feb 10, 2006)

> _Originally posted by biblelighthouse_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by JessB_
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Good advice!


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## JessB (Feb 10, 2006)

> _Originally posted by biblelighthouse_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by JessB_
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Thank you. That is certainly good advice. Thanks also for the reminder not to make her feel unloved. Sometimes I find that in my attempt to set a routine, I forget that maybe she just needs a hug from her mom.


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## Puritanhead (Feb 11, 2006)

You know I was just being tongue-in-cheek and humorous in response. I imagine some humor might not be welcome, because it's not really helpful. In any case I wish you and your family well.

I imagine having a baby is stressful, but I wouldn't know as of yet.

In any case, I sincerely wish you well. And I trust our Lord will bless you richly as you try to raise your little girl in fear and admonition of the Lord.

Blessings,
Ryan


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## Semper Fidelis (Feb 11, 2006)

Here is what we have done. It is, by no means, an infallible method.

1. You get better at detecting rebellion in your kids the more you have. If you suspect she is rebelling she probably is.

2. Early on, a flick of the finger on the back of the hand is usually enough to discipline them.

3. We always take the child to a private place (like a bathroom) to discipline them. Kids are ashamed when they are rebuked and there is no need to shame them in front of all. It is always best to discipline in private where you can really get their attention.

4. You want to train them as early as possible to give some sort of feedback that they repent of the sin they comitted. My wife trained our daughter to indicate "I'm sorry" by kissing her. You wouldn't believe how stubborn a 15 month old would be to withold a kiss. We guessed she didn't understand it at first but then we figured out she was just mad at us. You need to get a child to really indicate sorrow for an offense. It's not going to work at 7 months right away but you'll know when you've figured out a way to get a kid to indicate sorrow nonverbally and when they're mad at you for disciplining them.

5. We always tell the child why we are disciplining them.

6. After discipline we tell them "I forgive you" and then we pray with them to ask God for forgiveness for disobeying in the particular way they were and asking God to help them to glorify Him. Children desire restoration and forgiveness from their parents in a way that is unbelievable at a really young age. It is very edifying to see a child repenting and it trains their heart to turn to God for forgiveness.

7. You WILL sin in your discipline. Don't discipline out of anger (I do far too often). Don't discipline because the child has principally DARED to cross you. Children need to understand that you are disciplining them because they offend God when they challenge you. They should begin to understand that your discipline is because you love them.

8. When you sin in discipline or in other matters then ask your children to forgive you. Model this early and often. Children need to see what a sinner in need of grace is. They will see you sin against them often. If you don't repent of your sin to them regularly they will see through the hypocrisy. Admitting fault is not a sign of weakness in leadership. You will not undermine your spiritual leadership by being honest with your children but rather establish your integrity in the matter of needing Christ constantly as much as they.

9. Pray with your children regularly outside of discipline. Train them to know how to call on the name of the Lord.

In Christ,


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## Puritanhead (Feb 11, 2006)

That's the wisest thing I have ever read about baby parenting. Richard has been there.

Speaking, of mischeviousness, my mom is a Registered Nurse and used to teach lamaze at our old house. She would host a number of expecting couples. When I was a little four-year old kid, I would run out from my hiding spot and publicly say the _darndest_ things. 

"Look at all the fat women!"


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