# Dating a Roman Catholic?



## Mathias321 (Nov 16, 2017)

A theoretical situation came to my mind and I wanted to ask about it here.

What if I, a devoted Reformed Christian in a Christian college, came across a girl. We like each other, I think about asking her out, but learn she is a Roman Catholic. Or even worse: we date for awhile because she says she is Christian, but later learn she is Roman Catholic. Should I say no (or in the latter case, break up)?

My initial thoughts are yes, I should. I would not want the relationship to go further and to eventually marry and have children when she is a member of an organization with a false gospel (whether or not she herself is saved). This would cause major problems with conscience if one of us were not to eventually compromise on a very central point of the Gospel. 

I likewise was grieved when someone told me their dad is a Presbyterian and their mother is a Roman Catholic. Should that ever happen?

Maybe I’m thinking on this wrong... Thoughts?


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## Gforce9 (Nov 16, 2017)

One key to avoiding those types of problems down the road is to ask the important questions early on before emotional attachments take place..... by the second meeting, it should be like one coming under care before the presbytery

Reactions: Like 2


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## Edward (Nov 16, 2017)

"And therefore such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters". 

If you marry a Catholic, you have to promise to give your children to the pope. The only viable option for a relationship would be if she renounces Rome and the Pope and joins the true church.

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## jw (Nov 16, 2017)

What fellowship hath light with darkness? 

Invite her to a Reformed Presbyterian Church, perhaps in time -under sound preaching- she'll make a profession, and start being a disciple under the true religion. 
_
Then_ you might start considering other matters, but certainly not before.

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## Edward (Nov 16, 2017)

Take to heart what Rome says:

" But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. the spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. the temptation to religious indifference can then arise."

And, as to my comment above:

"1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority. In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage. This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage and* the obligations assumed by the Catholic party concerning the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church."
*

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## earl40 (Nov 16, 2017)

Each situation is different in that many RC's now a days follow what I call a "folk" Catholicism, which is a religion that rejects many central tenants of the RC church. (Francis is a prime example how far they have strayed from such in a practical sense) I personally thank Our Lord, and see clearly how He has worked among His children who are RC in profession, but are simple Christians (yes I mean simple or immature). Now in saying this I would not encourage such a union, generally speaking, and hopefully a Pastor that knows the situation will give prudent advice.


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## ZackF (Nov 16, 2017)

Don't do it. When I was RC, for the life of me I never understood why dedicated Catholics would date non-Catholics. I caught a lot of flack for it too. If one takes his beliefs seriously (in either camp) he should come to the conclusion of how foolish it is at best.

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## kodos (Nov 17, 2017)

It is important to note that Edward quotes from WCF 24.3. "And therefore such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters". 

As such, it is part of our Confession of Faith as Presbyterians. The Confession puts them in the same category as infidels, and idolaters as far as marriage is concerned.

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## earl40 (Nov 17, 2017)

kodos said:


> It is important to note that Edward quotes from WCF 24.3. "And therefore such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters".
> 
> As such, it is part of our Confession of Faith as Presbyterians. The Confession puts them in the same category as infidels, and idolaters as far as marriage is concerned.



Not sure I would call a nominal RC a papist. Now a serious RC may be a different story for sure, but even with that I am amazed of the amount of cognitive dissidence people have, which includes moi many times.


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## kodos (Nov 17, 2017)

A "nominal" Roman Catholic is hardly a professor of the true reformed religion.

While a nominal RC may, in fact, have saving faith, while they remain united to such a beastly church, a Reformed Christian shouldn't seek any kind of union with them. Until they disavow the pope and the church of Rome, they are, in my mind, papists.

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## Dachaser (Nov 17, 2017)

Matthew G. Bianco said:


> A theoretical situation came to my mind and I wanted to ask about it here.
> 
> What if I, a devoted Reformed Christian in a Christian college, came across a girl. We like each other, I think about asking her out, but learn she is a Roman Catholic. Or even worse: we date for awhile because she says she is Christian, but later learn she is Roman Catholic. Should I say no (or in the latter case, break up)?
> 
> ...


You would not be equally yoked in this relationship, as she could very well be saved, but if holding to teachings of Rome, you would have to accept their teachings in order to be married and have a family.


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## ValleyofVision (Nov 17, 2017)

I'm chiming in here with a different question - but kind of along the same lines. 

What if when you got married you were both Reformed -but throughout the years of marriage one becomes more interested in Roman Catholic and eventually converts. What do you do with the marriage if you are then unequally yoked?


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## greenbaggins (Nov 17, 2017)

ValleyofVision said:


> I'm chiming in here with a different question - but kind of along the same lines.
> 
> What if when you got married you were both Reformed -but throughout the years of marriage one becomes more interested in Roman Catholic and eventually converts. What do you do with the marriage if you are then unequally yoked?



This would, I believe, fall under the guidance of Paul in 1 Corinthians. If the unbeliever is willing to live with the believer, then no separation should take place. If the unbeliever wants to leave, then the believer is free.


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## zsmcd (Nov 17, 2017)

Matthew G. Bianco said:


> My initial thoughts are yes, I should. I would not want the relationship to go further and to eventually marry and have children when she is a member of an organization with a false gospel (whether or not she herself is saved).



I am going to agree with those who pointed out that these questions should come up early in the friendship, before a relationship aimed at marriage ever comes into view. If it turns out that she is any flavor of Rome than I would say that the friendship should be continued for the sake of evangelistic opportunities, but no relationship aimed at marriage should be started.

All in all, it does matter what ecclesiastical organization the person is a part of, but what matters more is the state of the persons heart. As we all know, a romanist can be regenerated despite their institutional connections. So if during the friendship you are able to share your reformed (biblical) convictions and the person realizes the problems with Rome and finally shows forth genuine faith, then I would encourage them to leave their current church and join a reformed one.

However, again, I would not even consider starting a romantic relationship until that person leaves Rome and shows the fruit of regeneration. I wouldn't even let the idea cross my mind lest I get my emotions tangled up.


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