# Car accident voice mail



## Herald (Apr 29, 2007)

There's nothing really offensive about this REAL voicemail that was left by a guy who witnessed an accident, that is if you don't count the beating they guy who ran the red light got from a car full of old ladies. 

WARNING: Don't listen to this while drinking or eating. You may choke from the laughter.

*Car Accident Voice Mail​*


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## InChains620 (Apr 29, 2007)

That is hilarious..... dont mess with old people I guess.


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## panta dokimazete (Apr 29, 2007)

WAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! My wife and i are dying111


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## Theoretical (Apr 29, 2007)

This is hysterical!


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## IanWatson (Apr 29, 2007)

this is the funniest thing i have ever heard! haha- teaches that guy.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Apr 30, 2007)




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## Semper Fidelis (Apr 30, 2007)




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## CDM (Apr 30, 2007)

Rumor has it


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## kvanlaan (Apr 30, 2007)

My wife and I just had a _really_ good laugh - thanks for that, Bill!


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## Kevin Lewis (Apr 30, 2007)

*Hillarious*

His laughter is contagious!!


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## Poimen (Apr 30, 2007)

mangum said:


> Rumor has it



Killjoy!


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## Herald (Apr 30, 2007)

I love the part where the "4 foot nothing" woman is hitting him over the head with her bible!


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## Herald (Apr 30, 2007)

joshua said:


> Personally, Bill, I'm quite offended. How could you? HOW COULD YOU? Laughing at such a poor defenseless man. Hmph....



Pray for me brother Josh. The Lord is far from done with me. I still like to Saran Wrap toilet lids during mens retreats.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Apr 30, 2007)

BaptistInCrisis said:


> Pray for me brother Josh. The Lord is far from done with me. I still like to Saran Wrap toilet lids during mens retreats.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Apr 30, 2007)

I really need to stop sipping my drink when reading threads like this -- it looks like I have a drinking problem...


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## Dagmire (Apr 30, 2007)

I am _so_ memorizing that and leaving it as a voicemail to one of my friends.


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## MrMerlin777 (Apr 30, 2007)

That is funny. I can almost immagine it happining.

Lesson learned..... Don't mess with Grandma!! Let alone 4 of 'em!


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## Storm (Apr 30, 2007)

*Did The Disciples Know?*

I'm new...to this board. And I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to post anything, so I just hit "reply" to this post. But I have a lot of questions about life and faith and I'm excited about being part of a "discussion group" where folks love Jesus and know the Bible and want to help each other in this whole process of following a perfect man who none of us can see!

So being new and all and starting out and not knowing what the heck I'm doing got me thinking...did the disciples know what they were getting into when they "signed up" to follow Jesus? I can never fully understand what Jesus said to them (other than "follow me") that made them leave their homes, occupations, families, security, life-as-they-knew-it, etc., to hang out with Jesus. Did His presense provide a sense of adventure? Did he promise a better future? Did they think Jesus would take care of them? What do you think? What was it that made you "forsake everything and follow Jesus?"

I struggle in my relationship with Jesus because I can't see Him. I wish He would appear to me and go through one of my days with me. That way, I could see his response to everything and everyone--without a doubt. I could see if He smiled at any jokes (off color or otherwise). I could see who and what made Him raise an eyebrow. I could watch and see how He handles all those uncomfortable situations that I don't know how to handle. For instance, I was invited to play poker Saturday night. I went even though I may have been the only Christian in the group of nine men. They smoked cigars and drank whiskey and made some pretty raunchy comments about women and marriage (and themselves). I felt oddly uncomfortable. On one hand, I'm a man, so there was nothing said that I can't ultimately relate to. On the other hand, I feel drawn to men who want to honor God and who have values that come from Jesus and the Bible. So what would Jesus have done? Drink with them? Smoke with them? I tried to accept them as they were and yet not betray myself or my values...but it was weird.

Any thoughts?


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## Dagmire (Apr 30, 2007)

Storm said:


> So being new and all and starting out and not knowing what the heck I'm doing got me thinking...did the disciples know what they were getting into when they "signed up" to follow Jesus? I can never fully understand what Jesus said to them (other than "follow me") that made them leave their homes, occupations, families, security, life-as-they-knew-it, etc., to hang out with Jesus. Did His presense provide a sense of adventure? Did he promise a better future? Did they think Jesus would take care of them? What do you think? What was it that made you "forsake everything and follow Jesus?"



*Jhn 10:24 Then came the Jews round about him, and said unto him, How long dost thou make us to doubt? If thou be the Christ, tell us plainly. 


Jhn 10:25 Jesus answered them, I told you, and ye believed not: the works that I do in my Father's name, they bear witness of me. 


Jhn 10:26 But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. 


Jhn 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 


Jhn 10:28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any [man] pluck them out of my hand. 


Jhn 10:29 My Father, which gave [them] me, is greater than all; and no [man] is able to pluck [them] out of my Father's hand. 


Jhn 10:30 I and [my] Father are one. 
*



They followed Him for the same reason that we do. We are His sheep and He called us. 





Storm said:


> I struggle in my relationship with Jesus because I can't see Him. I wish He would appear to me and go through one of my days with me. That way, I could see his response to everything and everyone--without a doubt. I could see if He smiled at any jokes (off color or otherwise). I could see who and what made Him raise an eyebrow. I could watch and see how He handles all those uncomfortable situations that I don't know how to handle. For instance, I was invited to play poker Saturday night. I went even though I may have been the only Christian in the group of nine men. They smoked cigars and drank whiskey and made some pretty raunchy comments about women and marriage (and themselves). I felt oddly uncomfortable. On one hand, I'm a man, so there was nothing said that I can't ultimately relate to. On the other hand, I feel drawn to men who want to honor God and who have values that come from Jesus and the Bible. So what would Jesus have done? Drink with them? Smoke with them? I tried to accept them as they were and yet not betray myself or my values...but it was weird.
> 
> Any thoughts?




*1Cr 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. 


1Cr 15:34 Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak [this] to your shame. 
*


Do not spend time with those men. They _will_ lead you astray.


And welcome, brother.


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## Blue Tick (Apr 30, 2007)

Bill that was Awesome!

Did I hear the commentator say " She just hit him with the Bible"?


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## Herald (Apr 30, 2007)

Blue Tick said:


> Bill that was Awesome!
> 
> Did I hear the commentator say " She just hit him with the Bible"?



John - not the commentator but the guy who was leaving the voice mail. He said, "She just hit him over the head with a bag...everything fell out...her bible...she's hitting him over the head with her bible! She held it over her head and hit him with it!" Imagine having the stuffing beat out of you by four old ladies and one them using a bible!


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## tdowns (May 1, 2007)

*Hey Moderators?*

Looks like Storm meant to post in a different place, can it be moved?

Also, Storm, there are signature requirements, check around, I think, Name, Church at minimum....I can't remember.

Welcome to the Board!

I followed Jesus because I had no choice; every turn, every corner, every discovery I made, showed me that He was the way, the truth, the life....I fought it at times, and tried to prove it wrong, but He was long suffering......and irresistible. 

I've been in situations like the one you describe, and it's amazing how smoke and whiskey can be glorifying to God in the company of Godly men, and can be the very sign of the debauchery of this world in the presence of those who make it and themselves God.


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## tdowns (May 1, 2007)

*Funny.....*

Man, that clip was FUUUUNNNNYYYY!!!!


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