# Personal Narratives Thread



## a mere housewife (Jul 2, 2008)

I tried to search for something similar, but couldn't find anything: I was wondering how people on the board have come to Christ, and if they would be willing to share His dealings with them? I don't enjoy the seeming 'who has the most spectacular testimony of salvation'? type of discussions that this sometimes seems to degenerate into where people feel ashamed for never having done anything spectacularly wrong to be saved from (!) or never having a crisis experience, but I am encouraged to learn the different and very personal ways God has sought various people in various circumstances, either from the time they were children or when they were older, etc. I know some have shared this in their introductory post, but it's hard to search through those for who has and who hasn't.

I found a file from several years ago in which I had recorded how God saved me: I am not sure I would say everything in exactly the same way now (if there are doctrinal errors, please overlook them), but will paste it to start.


I grew up in a Christian home; but as a teenager, I turned away from God because I did not want to live for Him. I wanted to live as I saw fit. After doing this for awhile, I realized that I was too deeply flawed to make up for even one pang of trouble. I was not a worthy object to live for. But I was determined that I should not serve God. I felt that He was not worthy, either, because He foreknew and created a flawed world and then demanded perfection of it, on pain of destruction. He punished the creatures that He had made for being what He had made them. I would rather go miserably to Hell in protest at His universe than come to terms with it. 
"Perfect" to me meant only that God kept His own rules. "Good" to me meant only that He did not break His own commandments. He could do this, because He was God. I could not do this, because I was not God. I saw Him only as an unbending judge and an impossible standard. I considered the standard unjust, because I could never meet it. In doing this, I was setting myself up as the judge and the standard. I thought it unfair that I should be condemned by a perfect standard: in thinking so, I condemned God by a standard that was flawed. 
On these grounds, I set myself against God; and because I was blind with pride, I expected to score my one point. But in all my thoughts, I had not dealt with the reality that He does as He pleases in heaven and in earth-and who has resisted His will? 
All this time, I was very miserable. I did not want to live, because I knew that living for myself was worthless: but I did not want to cause my family pain by killing myself. I finally decided that the kind of life I would lead would cause them more pain than my death. I was sitting outside, considering how to kill myself to give them least pain when God dealt with me. In an instant, I knew that I was His, to do with as He pleased. I knew that whatever He did with me would be right, because He is righteous. 
In that instant I muttered, "Fine then, have your own way." It was not the prayer that it ought to have been; but I did mean it. And God, who deserves to be glorified was more humble than I, who had no right to be proud. He took my last petty protest, and gave me peace.

It was two weeks before I felt certain of what had happened to me, that I had been changed from the inside out --that I had been born again; and before I started to desire to love Christ and to know that He loved me. They were the two most peaceful weeks of my life. I did not know what would happen to me eternally, or even in the next few minutes. Perhaps God would still send me to hell for my sins. I knew that He would do what was right with me and with all things, and had no fear or turmoil. I had come to terms with my Creator --to His terms, at His call.

I am blessed because I have tasted the perfection of God, that there is no fault in Him. He is not flawed, as we are. He abides by Himself because He cannot do less. We cannot meet His perfection; and we cannot protest against it, because we are wrong. But He met it for us because He wanted to: He is perfect love. 
I have tasted His goodness, that He would humble Himself to humble me.
He did create a world where there would be sin and suffering. But He entered it and suffered, and bore the sin to save it from destruction. What salvation could be hoped for from a God who could not bear to bring Himself or His creation to the cross? 
I give Him glory, Who alone is worthy.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Jul 2, 2008)

http://www.puritanboard.com/f25/gods-effectual-calling-your-life-10399/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f24/were-you-born-reformed-converted-6514/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f15/becoming-reformed-17839/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f34/have-you-been-cult-before-you-got-converterted-gospel-10024/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f25/what-scripture-did-hs-use-regenerate-you-19346/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f34/any-pb-who-come-non-christian-upbring-26572/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f25/so-when-did-you-become-calvinist-4809/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f15/i-saved-twice-3004/
http://www.puritanboard.com/f24/how-were-you-led-Christ-21747/


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## blhowes (Jul 2, 2008)

Here's a copy/paste of my testimony found in this thread from May of 2007.After being confirmed at the Methodist church in 9th grade, I was at a church service a week or so later reciting the Apostle's creed with everybody else, when it dawned on me that I didn't believe the words I was saying. As I said the words, "I believe in God the Father almighty", I realized I didn't even believe in God. I stopped reciting after that phrase, and just stood there. I couldn't continue saying something I didn't believe.

Shortly after that, since I was confirmed, my mom took me aside and told me that it was up to me whether to continue going to church or not. I'm not sure why she gave me that option, but realizing more and more that I was an athiest and that I believed all about Christianity was a myth, I stopped attending church. I told myself that I'd never go back again...but, God had other plans.

God used several people as instruments to draw me to himself, mostly some people who lived on my dorm floor when I was a freshman at college. Drinking never filled the void I was trying to fill, so when I went to college I decided not to drink anymore, but continued to look for meaninig in life. As an athiest, the one question that kept gnawing at me was what is the purpose for me being here? It made no sense to me to live for 70 years or so, and then die. What's the point? Is that all there is to life?

I got into TM for a while, looking for peace within. It brought peace (physical), but still there was a restlessness inside and I continued to ask those 'purpose questions'.

It seemed like there were only two types of people on my dorm floor, the partiers and the 'Jesus freaks'. I tried at first to avoid both groups, but several of the Christians befriended me after a while and began to challenge my beliefs, or lack thereof. One fellow in particular would use every opportunity to focus my attention on Jesus and scriptures. He didn't talk about religion, but seemed to always be asking me, "So, what do you think about Jesus and what he said?" 

God used his faithful witness, and the witness of others, to bring me to the point where I could do business with God. I ended up using the scriptures in the 4 Spiritual Laws pamphlet when God drew me to himself. I've mentioned it before, but it still amazes me how God saved me. Up until the time I repented and sought God's forgiveness, I still didn't believe He existed. Immediately after my sin was forgiven, God became so real to me I thought I should kick myself for having waited so long. Praise the Lord for His goodness and His grace to this poor, wretched sinner!

I'm usually not an emotional person, but thinking of God's goodness to me in drawing me to himself brings me to tears, as He once again fulfills Psalm 51:12 in my life.

Psa 51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation;​


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## a mere housewife (Jul 2, 2008)

Andrew, thank you for posting those links: I am reading through the first thread now -- strongly recommend it by the way (some of the testimonies go into more detail than others).



> Up until the time I repented and sought God's forgiveness, I still didn't believe He existed. Immediately after my sin was forgiven, God became so real to me I thought I should kick myself for having waited so long. Praise the Lord for His goodness and His grace to this poor, wretched sinner!



Bob, it is amazing how God comes in and changes things so that we know it is Him. Thank you very much for reposting this.


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## Semper Fidelis (Jul 2, 2008)

VirginiaHuguenot said:


> http://www.puritanboard.com/f25/gods-effectual-calling-your-life-10399/
> http://www.puritanboard.com/f24/were-you-born-reformed-converted-6514/
> http://www.puritanboard.com/f15/becoming-reformed-17839/
> http://www.puritanboard.com/f34/have-you-been-cult-before-you-got-converterted-gospel-10024/
> ...



Dude! You totally creep me out that you're able to produce information like this.

We need to have some sort of contest to see if anyone can actually stump *The Librarian* (A perfect _Mystery Men_ super hero power by the way).


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## a mere housewife (Jul 2, 2008)

Josh, thanks much for that link: I really loved reading about how God dealt with you as a child and then to bring you to the doctrines of grace. 

Your reaction to the doctrines of grace reminds me of what Traci said in one of the threads Andrew linked to:

http://www.puritanboard.com/f25/so-when-did-you-become-calvinist-4809/#post64836


> Driving down Colby Ave. in my car listening to RC Sproul. I was shocked to hear for the first time about predestination. I was shocked but at the same time I new it was true, it must have been the Holy Spirit testifing to me inwardly because I did NOT want to believe it was true. I struggled with it for a long time trying half heartedly to disprove it but that knowledge that it was true just wouldn't leave. I went home and read Romans 9 and was re-shocked. Cried myself to sleep several nights. I had been so secure and sure of my faith and knowledge of God up until then. It was the most important thing in my life and now the rug had been pulled out from under me. I had no one to talk to about it because I was deeply involved with an arminian pentacostal church that I had gone to since I was 8yrs old. ALL of my friends and family were arminian and thought I was nuts when I did try to talk about it. So I shut up for about 8 yrs only shocking people occasionally when it came up. I couldn't pray right for a while because I didn't know how to pray to God anymore because He wasn't who I thought He was. I didn't know how to approach this Sovereign almighty God. I was humbled and trembling. And it took years to finally see the doctrines of grace as the comfort and blessing that they truly are. It took even longer for my husband and I to come to agreement that we need to leave our church where we were both baptized and married. Than even longer to sift through which reformed church to go to we were both completely ignorant of any other denoms than our own. Now we are so happy!!! We love our church we are spiritually fed every Sunday and so blessed.


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## danmpem (Jul 2, 2008)

My testimony is really my whole life, and it is very difficult to put into words. If you want to know more about my testimony, read the Bible.


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## etexas (Jul 2, 2008)

In the 90's I was in my "APT" smoking some reef (serious.) I was bored and picked up a Bible an Aunt gave me, started reading ACTS, I was SO dumb I did not know the Apostles did much after Jesus went back to Heaven. I could not put it down! I read all weekend! Before going back to work for my Uncle that weekend I tossed my stash. Carried my Bible to work and kept reading there. The Holy Spirit did a NUMBER on my heart. When I went home I knelt down and prayed. I knew something was different. I did not have a name for it then, but now I know, Regeneration! (sorry for those who have heard my boring "Damascus Road" experience.) but that is pretty much how it happened for me. Grace and Peace.


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## caddy (Jul 2, 2008)

Semper Fidelis said:


> VirginiaHuguenot said:
> 
> 
> > http://www.puritanboard.com/f25/gods-effectual-calling-your-life-10399/
> ...


 
VirginiaHancock !


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## a mere housewife (Jul 2, 2008)

danmpem said:


> My testimony is really my whole life, and it is very difficult to put into words. If you want to know more about my testimony, read the Bible.



Dan did you then grow up in repentance and faith, simply believing what you understood of the gospel? My sister's life has been like that. It is wonderful to consider how she has always been conscious of God in believing faith.


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## danmpem (Jul 2, 2008)

a mere housewife said:


> Dan did you then grow up in repentance and faith, simply believing what you understood of the gospel?



 I wish.

If I were to share my life, my words would not do God's work justice. When I read God's Word, there are so many things that happened long ago that show me what it is he is doing in my life. I'm not one who likes spiritualizing verses in the Bible, but there are also things that are undeniably parallel to what is happening in my life now (mostly because the OT passages are foreshadows of Christ's work and the NT ones are testimony of it).


Just a couple of examples:



> Ephesians 2:1-9
> And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.





> John 4:27-29
> Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, "What do you seek?" or, "Why are you talking with her?" So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, "Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?"



I would put Ezekiel 16 up here, but I don't have the time to weed through and get all the verse #'s and superscripts out. I really need to learn how to post scripture on here the right way.


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## jambo (Jul 2, 2008)

As a child I frequently "asked the Lord into my heart". This was not necessarily from any sense of conviction but rather because I did not want to go to hell. As a child I had a superstitious form of religion in that I believed if anything bad happened to me such as falling of my bike, then this was God punishing me for doing soemthing wrong. So I prayed and went to church not so much to worship but so I wouldn't get knocked down by a bus.

As a teen I went through a form of rebellion, not outwardly but within the heart. At the same time I was trying to think of something I could do to impress God so much that he would not send me to hell. My problem was I could not think of anything that would impress God this much.

It was only by reading the scriptures I learnt of the grace of God and the full sufficiency of Christ's work.

"Behold the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world" (Jn 1.29) Could that possibly include my sin? And if it did then did that mean my sin has been taken away, removed, gone?

"You shall give him the name Jesus for he shall save his people from their sin." (Mt 1.21) I noticed it was _he shall save_: did that mean that Jesus has actually saved me? Could Jesus be trusted? The Holy Spirit helped me to realise yes he has saved his people and yes he can be trusted.

Around this time the words of a chorus kept coming to me. I think the chorus was Complete in Him

_There's nothing more than we can do for he has done it all...

...Its not by works of righteousness but by his grace alone_

I also realised that one embraces Christ not so much to avoid hell but in recognition of his person and work.

Ever since I have grown in the grace and knowledge through the reading of the scriptures, daily communion and union with Christ and seeking to live the with the help of the Holy Spirit a consistent Christian life. As a young Christian,then a theological student, a missionary and now an elder I never cease to marvel at the Lord's providential dealings with me and my family. 

The biggest marvel however is why the Lord should ever have chosen me in the first place.


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## Ivan (Jul 2, 2008)

Here are a couple of links where I give a testimony:

http://www.puritanboard.com/364018-post47.html
http://www.puritanboard.com/201411-post29.html

I don't have the time right now (nor the energy). Hopefully I'll have time soon to give a full testimony. It's really a good idea to do this. If nothing else, we are blessed all over again remember what are dear LORD and Savior did for us and it's a blessing to hear how others were saved.


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## Hippo (Jul 2, 2008)

I do not think that testimony should be in any way an evangelistic tool, it is not in itself the gospel and all too often it substitutes for and detracts from the Gospel.

Having said that it sure is edifying to hear testimony from brothers and sisters.


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## danmpem (Jul 2, 2008)

Hippo said:


> I do not think that testimony should be in any way an evangelistic tool, it is not in itself the gospel and all too often it substitutes for and detracts from the Gospel.
> 
> Having said that it sure is edifying to hear testimony from brothers and sisters.



 In 1 Peter 3:15, Peter tells the believers to be ready "to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you". I'm wondering where the two meet - giving someone the gospel and give someone an account for the hope that is in me.


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## a mere housewife (Jul 2, 2008)

> it sure is edifying to hear testimony from brothers and sisters.


I agree, Mike.

Dan, I think we are actually enjoined in the Psalms to recount God's deliverances of us? Doing so comes naturally to someone who has been delivered, and often provides an opening for sharing the gospel. I can't often work up the nerve (and I don't know that it's necessarily appropriate) to point blank say to someone 'Christ died for the ungodly'. But if they ask me a question about my life, I can tell them what God has done for me, and that has in the past led into the most open opportunities I've had of being able to share truths of Scripture.


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## Hippo (Jul 2, 2008)

danmpem said:


> Hippo said:
> 
> 
> > I do not think that testimony should be in any way an evangelistic tool, it is not in itself the gospel and all too often it substitutes for and detracts from the Gospel.
> ...



Surely the reason for the hope that is in you is the Gospel?

There was a recent White Horse Inn programme on this subject that I found to be very poweful. The comment was that Paul preached the historical facts of the Gospel, not his experience.


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## Ivan (Jul 2, 2008)

Hippo said:


> danmpem said:
> 
> 
> > Hippo said:
> ...



Paul never spoke of his experiences when preaching?


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## danmpem (Jul 2, 2008)

There's definitely validity to be found in what Mike said. I don't know if testimony should necessarily exclude evangelistic components every time; but, I do believe the two should be seen as different ideas, even when they are used together. Given, in 1 Peter 3, Peter does say that giving an account is so those who revile Christians may be put to shame later. It wasn't with evangelistic intentions - at least not primarily. Even if in somewhere in the Bible, there is scriptural backing for evangelism via testimony, I wish some Christians would stop using that verse as support. It is not what Peter was talking about.


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## danmpem (Jul 2, 2008)

FYI, I didn't see the last two posts by Mike and Ivan when I just put that up.


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## danmpem (Jul 2, 2008)

Hippo said:


> Surely the reason for the hope that is in you is the Gospel?
> 
> There was a recent White Horse Inn programme on this subject that I found to be very poweful. The comment was that Paul preached the historical facts of the Gospel, not his experience.



 I remember that. I find it interesting that Paul only gets autobiographical when he's writing to churches he already knows, mostly in 2 Corinthians.


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## a mere housewife (Jul 2, 2008)

I do believe that the reason for the hope that is in us is the gospel. However, if people are aware of the hope that is in us, they are probably aware, to some degree, of our testimony or at least of our manner of life.

I hadn't realized that about 1 Peter 3 where the answer is not primarily in the context of evangelism, but of persecution. Interesting point.


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## Hippo (Jul 2, 2008)

Ivan said:


> Hippo said:
> 
> 
> > danmpem said:
> ...



I did not say never, but that was not his normal approach.

A problem with testimony is that it can encourage others to see the Gospel as a self improvement mechanism when in reality it can cause all sorts of temporal problems and troubles. 

The Gospel is not experience, it is historical fact.


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## jambo (Jul 2, 2008)

Some "bad" testimonies are the ones which are 95% pre-conversion which almost glory in past misdemeaners then the 5% post-script of getting converted and life is now dull and boring in comparison. They do not say it in those words but that is sometimes the impression they give.

A "good" testimony is one which mentions the past life in perspective but concentrates on what God has done and is doing in the persons life.

Sometimes I think a failing in some reformed churches is to write public testimonies off as its almost perceived as an Arminian practice. The unconverted world are more interested in how God can make a difference in a persons life than we give them credit for. Conversion from start to finish is the sovereign work of the Trinty and a fruit of election. But at some stage in the process a significant part was the testimony of someone -friend, family member, workmate etc explaining the change in their lives (Mk 5.19) and the reason for the hope they have within them (1 Pet 3.15)


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## a mere housewife (Jul 2, 2008)

Hippo said:


> A problem with testimony is that it can encourage others to see the Gospel as a self improvement mechanism when in reality it can cause all sorts of temporal problems and troubles.
> 
> The Gospel is not experience, it is historical fact.



I agree (my thanks button is out again). However the historical fact was experienced (the apostles were eyewitnesses of those events, and preached them as such), and impacts our own experience. On the level of simply relating to people (not in a pulpit ministry) sharing what God has done for you comes far more naturally than launching into the Romans Road out of the blue. I think the 'problems' with testimony only come in if we confuse what God has done for us with the saving revelation of God in Christ.

Just to be --sensitive to any concerns anyone might have: do you sense any such confusion in my asking for testimonies of God's work in our salvation here?


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## Hippo (Jul 2, 2008)

a mere housewife said:


> Hippo said:
> 
> 
> > A problem with testimony is that it can encourage others to see the Gospel as a self improvement mechanism when in reality it can cause all sorts of temporal problems and troubles.
> ...



I sense no confusion here at all, it is a very uplifting thread and heaven knows, the PB could do with more of those these days. 

Please also understand that I am not saying that the issue of testimony to non believers is a black and white issue, I am just pointing out that the modern evangelical movement tends to confuse testimony and gospel.


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## a mere housewife (Jul 2, 2008)

aaaaah. enlightenment. 

that's what user control panel friends are for .

{ps. Please notice how vague that last statement is. You don't know if I mean 'enlightening me: that's what user control panel friends are for' or 'absolving the friendship: that's what user control panel friends are for'.}


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## py3ak (Jul 2, 2008)

Before people go _overboard_ on rejecting the relation of God's dealings with one, we should recall that Paul was an apostle, commissioned to preach the Gospel, and also a superlatively fine theologian. But in John 9 you have a man who was neither, and he related his experience (to be sure, there was a context of persecution there as well). But perhaps we can extrapolate that while a personal narrative is not the Gospel, it may be quite a useful means for laypeople to communicate about Christ.


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## Ivan (Jul 2, 2008)

Hippo said:


> The Gospel is not experience, it is historical fact.



It is both. If it weren't I would not have a relationship with Jesus Christ. The Gospel is historical fact that resulted in my personal experience with Christ by the working of the Holy Spirit.

Do I give my testimony when I share the Gospel? No, unless I'm asked questions related to my personal experience.


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