# SCHOOL 1976 vs. 2006



## Blueridge Believer (Aug 30, 2007)

SCHOOL 1976 vs. 2006
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> Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack. 
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> 1976 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. 
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> 2006 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. 
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> Scenario: Mark and Johnny get into a fistfight after school. 
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> 1976 - Crowd gathers. Johnny wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled 
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> 2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Mark started it. 
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> Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 
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> 1976 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 
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> 2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability. 
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> Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 
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> 1976 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 
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> 2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist. 
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> Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school . 
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> 1976 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock. 
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> 2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. 
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> Scenario: Pedro fails high school English. 
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> 1976 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college. 
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> 2006 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. 
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> Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed. 
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> 1976 - Ants die. 
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> 2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. 
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> Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 
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> 1976 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 
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> 2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. 
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## westminken (Aug 30, 2007)

So true.


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## VictorBravo (Aug 30, 2007)

I graduated from high school in 76 and definitely can relate to the first one. We used to shoot gophers out behind the school after class. The one-armed principal was a crack shot.


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## Andrew P.C. (Aug 30, 2007)

Sadly, these are real scenarios...


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## kvanlaan (Aug 30, 2007)

Did all the normal people die in the late 70's or were they simply outlawed?


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## LadyFlynt (Aug 30, 2007)

They were outlawed.

My dad learned how to shoot by being given 3 shells...he had to come back with 3 squirrels before he was given 5...then 10, then 15...etc. The squirrels became dinner.


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## Southern Presbyterian (Aug 30, 2007)

Anyone care to supply the intermediate scenarios for 1986 and 1996?


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## Blueridge Believer (Aug 30, 2007)

I graduated in '77. When I was a kid we took our guns to school and the principle kept them untill after school so we could go straight to hunting. Regular whippings were standard treatment.


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## BobVigneault (Aug 30, 2007)

Those are so true. I used to walk up over the logging road to get to school and so of course I would take my rifle. I think that was 8th grade and that would have been 69. Those were the days.


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## Calvibaptist (Aug 30, 2007)

Wythe County Calvinist said:


> Anyone care to supply the intermediate scenarios for 1986 and 1996?



Don't know about 1996, but 1986 would have been about the same as 1976, except with a lot more mullets, preps, and Van Halen.


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## caddy (Aug 30, 2007)

^ 

Ah Mullets!

What could one venture to say about those.... 

We need a PB icon of a Puritan in a Mullet. Who can do that?


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## Calvibaptist (Aug 30, 2007)

Well, since Bawb already made fun of my pitiful lack of Photoshop skill, I think I will pass on the attempt.


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## caddy (Aug 30, 2007)

^
This could rival the flaming scott!

_Oh the Humanity!_


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## Calvibaptist (Aug 30, 2007)

caddy said:


> ^
> This could rival the flaming scott!
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> _Oh the Humanity!_



Not sure whether you knew it or not, but your last phrase is what "Newman" said on the Seinfeld episode where Kramer adopted a mile of highway and decided to make the lanes wider. He spilled an entire drum of paint thinner on the road and Newman ran over an old sewing machine in his mail truck right at that spot. The sparks burst into flames and Newman screamed, "Oh the humanity!"

But, I don't think Newman was a Scott.


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## caddy (Aug 30, 2007)

^
LOL


I may have subconsciously thought plagiarized from "Newman" ! 


I still watch reruns of Seinfeld. What a neurotic bunch of knuckleheads. Funny stuff.


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## KMK (Aug 30, 2007)

Did the ants still die in 2006?


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## Southern Presbyterian (Aug 30, 2007)

KMK said:


> Did the ants still die in 2006?



I assume so, and that would necessitate the intervention of Greenpeace and the EPA as well as the U. N.


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## BobVigneault (Aug 30, 2007)

Thomas Boston very nearly had a mullet anyway so it wouldn't take much retouching.


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## caddy (Aug 30, 2007)

*Excellent Bob !*

But of course!  I should have known. I'm acutally reading his book now: "Crook in the Lot." Wonderful piece of writing.





BobVigneault said:


> Thomas Boston very nearly had a mullet anyway so it wouldn't take much retouching.


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## jfschultz (Aug 30, 2007)

Scenario: Sue gets a reputation for being "easy".

1976 - She is shunned for being a slut.

2006 - She gets free national publicity that furthers her "career" as a role model. Joins the spouse of the year club.


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## caddy (Aug 30, 2007)

_Mullet Fancy_ / _Crook in the Lot_ These are not easy decisions!

http://www.thehumorarchives.com/joke/Mullet_Magazine


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## Calvibaptist (Aug 30, 2007)

BobVigneault said:


> Thomas Boston very nearly had a mullet anyway so it wouldn't take much retouching.



Thanks, Bawb. I knew if I just mentioned your name, you would come running. You really came through for us.


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## caddy (Aug 30, 2007)




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## caddy (Aug 30, 2007)




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## MrMerlin777 (Aug 30, 2007)

I graduated in 86 and can say that it would have been about the same as 76. I remember talking with some of my teachers out on the smoking block. I didn't have the mullet though.


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## caddy (Aug 30, 2007)

79 Here! We just had BIG Hair around this period: A veritable Party in the Front and Party in the Back. A few years down the road you boys in the 80s took away our party in the front--and made it _Business!_


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## ZackF (Sep 2, 2007)

Wythe County Calvinist said:


> Anyone care to supply the intermediate scenarios for 1986 and 1996?



I went to high school in Western Kansas, class of 1992. There were no federal firearm bans yet. It wasn't unusual for our trucks to have gun racks or for us to keep shotguns behind the seat. A remember hearing a few years later some foolish kid took a pistol in the building to show to some friends and he was suspended. But in my day it was understood that most boys, particularly country boys had guns in their vehicle during hunting season and if they kept their mouths shut about it(which we did) there were not any problems. Sufficed to say, there were never any shootings at Hugoton High School over many decades.


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## KMK (Sep 2, 2007)

In the mountains of CO where I went to HS many carried guns so that you could put the deer out of its misery that would invariably jump in front of your car as you barrelled down the road. (Is there a dumber animal? Maybe sheep) Now you have no recourse but to leave the deer suffering at the side of the road.


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## Theogenes (Sep 4, 2007)

VIC, you said
"I graduated from high school in 76 and definitely can relate to the first one. We used to shoot gophers out behind the school after class. The one-armed principal was a crack shot".

I graduated in 1976 and in grade school I had a one-armed principal too! Now, how weird is that???
Jim


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## PuritanCovenanter (Sep 4, 2007)

kvanlaan said:


> Did all the normal people die in the late 70's or were they simply outlawed?



No, they didn't die. They retired. And their pot smoking, LSD and quaalude dropping kids took over.


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## VictorBravo (Sep 4, 2007)

Theogenes said:


> VIC, you said
> "I graduated from high school in 76 and definitely can relate to the first one. We used to shoot gophers out behind the school after class. The one-armed principal was a crack shot".
> 
> I graduated in 1976 and in grade school I had a one-armed principal too! Now, how weird is that???
> Jim



I don't know. Maybe it was the GI bill. Our principal was Syrian second generation American WWII vet who lost his arm in the war. He stood about 6'4". Nobody messed with him.


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