# Define Calvinism using the word 'toys'



## Nebrexan (Apr 3, 2008)

This list never fails to make me smile, but it's missing several terms like 'Confessionalism', 'Calvinism', etc. Anyone care to suggest definitions?

Capitalism: He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna: He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Judaism: He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
Catholicism: He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican: They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox: No, they were ours first.
Branch Davidians: He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism: There is no toy maker.
Polytheism: There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism: The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ, Scientist: We are the toys.
Communism: Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling ours.
B'Hai: All toys are just fine with us.
Amish: Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism: The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Mormonism: Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo: Let me borrow that doll for a second…
Hedonism: Hang the rule book! Let's play!
Seventh Day Adventist: He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Church of Christ: He whose toys make music, loses.
Baptist: Once played always played.
Jehovah's Witnesses: He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism: He whose toys can talk, wins.
Existentialism: Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism: Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism: We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.


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## etexas (Apr 3, 2008)

Calvin:That toy is not in accord with RPG, you can only play with it outside the church building kid!


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## Semper Fidelis (Apr 3, 2008)

A man cannot serve both toys and God. Either he will love the one and hate the other.


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## A5pointer (Apr 3, 2008)

Depends on who is defining, our opponents might say

1. toy robots programed to say I love you God

I have actually heard Hank Hennigrff do this by saying Calvinism can't be true because that would reduce Christians to Chatty Cathy dolls.


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## A5pointer (Apr 3, 2008)

etexas said:


> Calvin:That toy is not in accord with RPG, you can only play with it outside the church building kid!



Yikes


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## Reformed Covenanter (Apr 3, 2008)

Calvinism: some have been predestined to receive eternal toys, others have not.

Nuance:

Moderate Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys, but the non-elect receive temporal toys in this life.

High Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys and temporal toys, the non-elect get no toys in this life.

Moderate Calvinism: eternal toys are sincerely offered to the non-elect.

High Calvinism: there is no well-meant offer of toys to the non-elect.


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## etexas (Apr 3, 2008)

Calvin: (After snapping the head off a doll) Stop sobbing! It was planned in eternity.


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## ChristopherPaul (Apr 3, 2008)

Patriarchy: Only Play with toys that are hand made out of wood.

Calvinism: Buzz Lightyear He hated, but Woody He loved.

Presbyterian:


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## servantofmosthigh (Apr 3, 2008)

5-Points of TOYLIP:

T: TOY-tal DepraviTOY
OY: OYconditional Election
L: Limited ATOYnement
I: IrresisTOYble Grace
P: perseverance of the Saints


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## Pergamum (Apr 3, 2008)

Health and wealth toys: Your best toys NOW!


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## etexas (Apr 3, 2008)

Kenneth Copeland: You are not a little doll. You are a little god!


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## DMcFadden (Apr 3, 2008)

Daniel Ritchie said:


> Calvinism: some have been predestined to receive eternal toys, others have not.
> 
> Nuance:
> 
> ...


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## BlackCalvinist (Apr 5, 2008)

Calvinism: The toys you get freely are predetermined by God in eternity past.
Arminianism: We chose the toys first, so they then came to us.
Semi-Pelagianism: The toys have the ability to reject the person trying to take them.


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