# How to tell my father I do not want to go to church with him?



## Matthew1344 (Dec 15, 2015)

My father in law is attending an extremely charismatic church. They throw money in the alter for tithing. The pastor talks about "sewing a seed". They sell bricks at the church where you can have a lost family members name engraved in it in hopes that they get saved. The fron of the auditorium is very open with no seating so that after the preaching is over people can come up to be healed. The pastor smacks them on the head. They shake. Fall down. Go to sleep. The congregation is all speaking in tounges on and off the whole service. While people are lying down in the spirit, the pastor just walks over then so that he can get to another member to smack them on the head. And once I even saw a women bow at his feet in prayer or worship. Not sure when she was thinking, but she was definitely on her face before him.

My wife and I are going up to his house this weekend and I know this sunday he is going to want us to go to church with him. How should I address this issue?


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## BGF (Dec 15, 2015)

My Grandfather is married to a woman who is a "pastor of a church in NEPA. I've often thought that at some point I may have to deal with the same situation. I'm not advising so much as offering my own thoughts on how I may handle my own situation.

Option 1. Feign some illness to excuse yourself and then while he's gone to church sneak off to the nearest orthodox church you can find.

2. Denounce the errors of your father's church and declare your intention to attend the nearest true manifestation of Christ's church.

3. Research ahead of time for a decent orthodox church. Tell your father your intentions to visit somewhere else and invite him to join you. Thank him for asking you to worship with him, but be honest about the difficulty you have. If he consents to go, use the opportunity to discuss the differences and why they are important.

Obviously, I'm not serious about options 1 & 2. Option 3 most closely reflects the Luther quote in your signature line. If life were a Hallmark movie all would end well. But, we know it's not and things get messy.

I'll be praying that you'll be able to uphold truth while maintaining peace.


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## Matthew1344 (Dec 15, 2015)

Thank you. This is good advise. And thank you for your prayers.


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## BGF (Dec 15, 2015)

Let me know how it works out and I'll return the favor should The opportunity arise.


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## Toasty (Dec 15, 2015)

Matthew1344 said:


> My father in law is attending an extremely charismatic church. They throw money in the alter for tithing. The pastor talks about "sewing a seed". They sell bricks at the church where you can have a lost family members name engraved in it in hopes that they get saved. The fron of the auditorium is very open with no seating so that after the preaching is over people can come up to be healed. The pastor smacks them on the head. They shake. Fall down. Go to sleep. The congregation is all speaking in tounges on and off the whole service. While people are lying down in the spirit, the pastor just walks over then so that he can get to another member to smack them on the head. And once I even saw a women bow at his feet in prayer or worship. Not sure when she was thinking, but she was definitely on her face before him.
> 
> My wife and I are going up to his house this weekend and I know this sunday he is going to want us to go to church with him. How should I address this issue?



You could say that you don't want to go and that you are going to another church. If he asks you to give a reason for not going to his church, then say that you don't agree with what his church teaches.


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## bookslover (Dec 15, 2015)

Matthew1344 said:


> My father in law is attending an extremely charismatic church. They throw money in the alter for tithing. The pastor talks about "sewing a seed". They sell bricks at the church where you can have a lost family members name engraved in it in hopes that they get saved. The fron of the auditorium is very open with no seating so that after the preaching is over people can come up to be healed. The pastor smacks them on the head. They shake. Fall down. Go to sleep. The congregation is all speaking in tounges on and off the whole service. While people are lying down in the spirit, the pastor just walks over then so that he can get to another member to smack them on the head. And once I even saw a women bow at his feet in prayer or worship. Not sure when she was thinking, but she was definitely on her face before him.
> 
> My wife and I are going up to his house this weekend and I know this sunday he is going to want us to go to church with him. How should I address this issue?



Simple. Just re-read your Luther quote.


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## Pergamum (Dec 15, 2015)

If you've already made plans to visit another church in town, then this is a polite way to avoid his church.


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## Backwoods Presbyterian (Dec 15, 2015)

We have this problem when we visit family. At my wife's father's he knows what we believe and he understands why we do not go to his liberal PC(USA) church and why we will not go out to lunch afterwards. At my parent's house I preach for my mother's church. 

I would say just be open, gracious, and honest. Truth well and softly said is the best tonic.


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## Matthew1344 (Dec 15, 2015)

Thank you all!


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## Presbuteros (Dec 15, 2015)

Don't forget to pray for wisdom and tact for handling this.


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## Edm (Dec 15, 2015)

We were visiting my parents over the summer and they wanted us to go to church with them ( Reformed Episcopal). I said we really want to go back to the PCA church we used to go to and you should go with us. They did and enjoyed it. Easy in my case.


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## johnny (Dec 16, 2015)

I am wondering if it would be more simple to just go along? 
It sounds like you have been there before. 

God may open doors for you to help the people in their ignorance.
I understand this may be bad advice but I'm just thinking outside the square.
Your Father may be more open if you come a little towards him, (perhaps - perhaps not)


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