# Is blackmail sin?



## AThornquist (Feb 17, 2010)

I am in a situation with my unsaved older brother and his girlfriend where they "would appreciate it" if I didn't let my mother know several things about how they celebrated my brother's 24th birthday. It's shameful to even mention some of what I found out today. I have been earnestly seeking to share the full gospel with my brother and his girlfriend - though they both know bits and pieces of it - and realized that I could use this to my advantage in terms of setting up an opportunity. My brother kind of shirks away from the discussion of Christ.
I want to say, "Well, I won't bring it up to mom if you and [your girlfriend] truly listen to me for 5 to 10 minutes. Then you can ask any questions you want. After that, I am willing to put behind me all that I found out." I know that only the Lord can save, and He does so through His Gospel. Thus, I want to put them in a situation where they can't run and have to hear the plain words of truth.

Is that sinful? I _think_ that's technically blackmail although it's certainly less vile than other examples of that activity.


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## AThornquist (Feb 17, 2010)

Joshua said:


> To be willing to "put it all behind [you]" is not something you can promise, if asked by a person for the truth. Does your brother live under the authority of your mom? Are these things which negatively affect her? How do you know you'll never be called to answer the truth in a court of law? If so, you've told your brother you'd put it behind you. At that point, you'd have to either lie, or refuse to answer and be found in contempt. _*If*_ your brother is not living under your mom's authority, and these things are something that are going to affect her, you can tell your brother you have no intentions of "tattling" but can't make any promises that if called upon by a lawful authority you won't reveal the info. However, blackmail is certainly no option for a Christian. If he and his girlfriend don't want to hear what you say, no matter how uninterrupted it is, no matter how clear you speak it, they won't "hear" you. We don't do evil (blackmail) that good may come. Use lawful means to be salt and light and leave the consequences to God.


 
Thank you. 

My brother and his girlfriend live together and aren't under our mom's authority _but_ my mom helps with their rent and some of the information she would ordinarily want to know (such as holes in the wall that they are going to patch up). So I see what you mean - I could say, "I won't lie about it if called upon, but I won't bring it up if you all will listen to me for 5 to 10 minutes. . ." 
I am curious though, where in Scripture is this type of "blackmail" immoral? I'm not arguing either way, I just would like to know.


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## rbcbob (Feb 17, 2010)

AThornquist said:


> Joshua said:
> 
> 
> > To be willing to "put it all behind [you]" is not something you can promise, if asked by a person for the truth. Does your brother live under the authority of your mom? Are these things which negatively affect her? How do you know you'll never be called to answer the truth in a court of law? If so, you've told your brother you'd put it behind you. At that point, you'd have to either lie, or refuse to answer and be found in contempt. _*If*_ your brother is not living under your mom's authority, and these things are something that are going to affect her, you can tell your brother you have no intentions of "tattling" but can't make any promises that if called upon by a lawful authority you won't reveal the info. However, blackmail is certainly no option for a Christian. If he and his girlfriend don't want to hear what you say, no matter how uninterrupted it is, no matter how clear you speak it, they won't "hear" you. We don't do evil (blackmail) that good may come. Use lawful means to be salt and light and leave the consequences to God.
> ...


 
Romans 3:8 And why not say, "Let us do evil that good may come"? -- as we are slanderously reported and as some affirm that we say. Their condemnation is just.


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## AThornquist (Feb 17, 2010)

Joshua said:


> AThornquist said:
> 
> 
> > ...my mom helps with their rent and some of the information she would ordinarily want to know (such as holes in the wall that they are going to patch up).
> ...



Yes, she knows. They have been living together for four years and have a two year old child. They will be marrying in May. 



> > So I see what you mean - I could say, "I won't lie about it if called upon, but I won't bring it up if you all will listen to me for 5 to 10 minutes. . ."
> 
> 
> I'm _not_ saying that at all. I'm saying under the circumstances that your mom would be unaffected by the stuff, you don't have to go tattling, etc., but that you have no intention of withholding the truth if/when it's due. No bargaining.



Oh.



> > I am curious though, where in Scripture is this type of "blackmail" immoral? I'm not arguing either way, I just would like to know.
> 
> 
> If you're asking for instances of things called blackmail going on in Scripture, I don't know what I'd point out to you. That's really beside the point. Using someone's sin as a way to manipulate them into something else is deceptive and wrong. Period.



Hmm. While I don't disagree that using someone's sin as a way to manipulate them into something else is deceptive and wrong, I'm not sure how I would even defend that position. I'm not sure _why_ I am inclined to think this.

Thanks for the thoughts, Josh.


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## awretchsavedbygrace (Feb 17, 2010)

> I want to say, "Well, I won't bring it up to mom if you and [your girlfriend] truly listen to me for 5 to 10 minutes.



Andrew, obviously what they did would upset your mother. How would you be honering your mother by withholding this from her if she asked or if you were put in a situation where you had to tell her? Why dont you sit them down, explain to them the evil that they did, and give them the gospel. They really wont give you 5 minutes unless you "blackmail" them?


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## AThornquist (Feb 18, 2010)

Joshua said:


> AThornquist said:
> 
> 
> > Yes, she knows. They have been living together for four years and have a two year old child. They will be marrying in May.
> ...



He's asking me not to tell about the drunk wrestling that caused holes in the wall, the sexual immorality at the bar last night, and the bong that was passed around today by his friends while we played disc golf. Some birthday celebration, huh? I'm glad their son (my nephew) stayed the night with us last night. 

Oh - and I have decided what I am going to do. I'm simply going to sit down with them and explain that regardless of what mom might think, there is a greater issue: you have sinned against God. And then I will go from there. This route is _way_ less complicated. Thank you all for your input. It certainly helped me hash through this.

Edit - I didn't see Julio's message above before I typed this. Good words! You nailed it. Thank you.


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