# The Covenant of Marriage and Biblical Vows



## ChristopherPaul (Sep 19, 2005)

In understanding the covenantal structure of scripture and the importance of renewals and remembrances given to covenants, I would like to know how these beneficial practices can be applied to marriage.

My wife and I seem to attend a lot of weddings. Personally, we enjoy the ceremonies because they remind us of our vows. Hearing the vows encourages and convicts me to be a better husband.

Yesterday during the sermon on Joshua chapter 1, it came to my mind that it would be good for my wife and I to regularly renew our vows. We could plan a sort of covenant renewal ceremony in order for us to remember the sacred covenant we are in. This could be annually, or bi-annually, or even more often, I don't know. Does anyone else practice something in like this? What would such a "ceremony" look like? Who should be present? Should it involve others or just the husband and wife? Suggestions? Words of wisdom?

As far as the actual vows are concerned, I am not sure exactly what ours were. We recited the standard vows used by our, then pastor. Biblically, what are the vows between a husband and wife?

Cheers!


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## ChristopherPaul (Sep 19, 2005)

I am not sure the best forum to post this in, so moderators please do your stuff if you deem necessary.


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## pduggan (Sep 19, 2005)

> _Originally posted by ChristopherPaul_
> My wife and I seem to attend a lot of weddings. Personally, we enjoy the ceremonies because they remind us of our vows. Hearing the vows encourages and convicts me to be a better husband.



BY analogy to 'improving baptism' it would seem to be as counterproductive to repeat your vows in a ceremony as to repeat the act of baptism.

Wedding anniversaries already recapitulate much of the activity of a wedding anyway (gifts, dinner, guests, etc )


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## ChristopherPaul (Sep 19, 2005)

> _Originally posted by pduggan_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by ChristopherPaul_
> ...



Hi Paul!

I see your point, but I am not talking about the sacrament of marriage, as the Roman Catholic Church would see it.

Do you see a problem with remembering our vows? I am not suggesting a renewal of vows, as are often done at 25th, 30th, or 50th anniversary parties where the wedding ceremony is reenacted. I am simply suggesting a manner of remembering and renewing what we committed to. 

In what manner would you suggest such be done while not being "œcounterproductive"?

Cheers!


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## BrianBowman (Sep 19, 2005)

I'm curious what makes marriage vows binding from a Biblical perspective? For example, is the "bindedness" of the vow somehow diminished if a couple creates their own vows and they are doctrinally incorrect (yet the officiating pastor allows them anyway)? I would say the fact that the couple is intending to marry goes a long way here (i.e. is spite of the "bogus" vows), but it would be interesting to hear from some of our local covenantal/law experts on this. 

Another question would go the legitimacy of the convening ecclesiastical authority. In other words, how does God hold Pastors accountable who officiate weddings without due determination as to the purity and spiritual fitness of the couple? Are said Pastors in any way culpable if they marry unfit couples (those who engaged in unrepentant forniction, are ingnorant of the serious of the marriage covenant, to immature to marry, etc.) and it ends in divorce? I realize that marriage orginiates in the "Covenant of Creation" which predated wedding ceremonies as we know them today. Yet, it would seem that God's holy estate of marriage is in some way governed by the authority of His Church (and the Civil Magistrate as well) and the precise stipulations of His Word. How does all of this "fit together?"


Brian

[Edited on 9-20-2005 by BrianBowman]


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## bond-servant (Sep 20, 2005)

Good questions Brian....


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## Augusta (Sep 20, 2005)

I have been wondering this too.


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## AdamM (Sep 20, 2005)

> Yet, it would seem that God's holy estate of marriage is in some way governed by the authority of His Church (and the Civil Magistrate as well) and the precise stipulations of His Word. How does all of this "fit together?"



I think it might be helpful from a historical perspective to remember that for the Puritans, marriage was *primarily* a civil rite and as such, the role of the church in marriage was very limited. This was in reaction to Rome and the Anglicans creating a large role for the church (actually a sacrament) that didn't exist in the scriptures. In defense of the Puritans, I do find it interesting how little the Bible actually says about marriage in the context of the visible church.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Sep 20, 2005)

> _Originally posted by AdamM_
> 
> 
> > Yet, it would seem that God's holy estate of marriage is in some way governed by the authority of His Church (and the Civil Magistrate as well) and the precise stipulations of His Word. How does all of this "fit together?"
> ...



 The Westminster Directory for Public Worship's teaching on marriage is a good basic resource. 

Also, from a previous thread:

E.L. Hebden Taylor, _The Reformational Understanding of Family and Marriage_, pp. 8-9, 14:



> Luther denied that marriage was a sacrament and said that two conditions must be present for a sacrament: it must have been specifically instituted by Christ and must be distinctively Christian. Marriage does not qualify in either respect. Luther also taught that marriage is part of the natural order and hence it cannot be included in the sacramental system of the Church and that a religious service is not necessary for a valid marriage.
> 
> A great attempt was made by the Puritans to continue the work of the reformation of family and marriage begun by Luther and Calvin. Thus they tried to establish it upon a civil rather than religious basis by passing an Act of Parliament in 1644 which asserted that 'marriage to be no sacrament, nor peculiar to the church of God but common to mankind and of public interest to every commonwealth.' The Act added, 'notwithstanding, that it was expedient that marriage should be solemnized by a lawful minister of the Word.' A more radical Act in 1653 swept away this provision and made marriage purely a civil matter to be performed by the Justice of the Peace, the age of consent for man was established at sixteen years, and for a woman at fourteen.


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## BrianBowman (Sep 20, 2005)

Friends,

Thank you for the above thoughts and references. I will examine them in good season. However, for the present, I'm still thinking about the seriousness and detail in which the Bible addresses the covenant of marriage (e.g. Malachi 2:13-16 [and 4:6 by familial application], Matt 5:27-32, 19:3-9, 1 Cor 7, Eph 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7, etc.). These are God's statutes, principles, and commands for what govern marriage. It would seem that both the family and the Church are integral to imparting these solemn and holy teachings to those preparing for marriage, dealing with "alert level" marriage problems, or recovering from divorce.

Maybe I'm making this more complicated than it need be, but we have reams of books, papers, web postings, and seminars on these matters and there is still so much sin, failure, and defeat surrounding marriage in our culture. Although my knowledge of Puritan History is wanting, it seems that their society at large was much more moral than ours, even to the point of being influenced by Biblical thought through the critical mass of Godly persons in the society and men in positions of Government, etc. Clearly in America today this is *not* the norm. Therefore, based on Scriputure alone, what part does the "administration of marriage" play in the "all authority" given by Christ to His Church?

[Edited on 9-21-2005 by BrianBowman]


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Sep 20, 2005)

Brian -- To add to your reading list (if you have not already read it), you might enjoy reviewing William Gouge's _On Domesticall Duties_ (more discussion here).


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## BrianBowman (Sep 20, 2005)

Thanks Andrew,

You mentioned this once before and I've obtained it for reading! It's really incredible. For what it's worth- I believe that the conservative "yet alive" Reformed Churches have a very high view of marrriage & family life - and at least attempt to exercise the requisite Church discipline as appropriate to per-marital and marital sins. Based on my history (which you so graciously exhorted me on via U2U) I'm still remediating.


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