# Talking with unsaved loved ones…



## JM (Jun 10, 2007)

I wasn’t sure where to post this, but I’m interested in how the members on this forum deal with unsaved loved ones who seem to mock or challenge our faith. It seems every time my family has a get together, BBQ, birthday, etc. it ends in some kind of challenge to the Christian worldview or faith and I’m not sure how to deal with it. 

How do you deal with these challenges?


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## turmeric (Jun 10, 2007)

I used to be that challenger. Particularly my boyfriend took delight in having circular arguments with my brother which seemed to be about "you're stupid, I'm smart.". My brother finally had the good sense to refuse to engage; as these weren't serious questions from a serious seeker. "Pearls before swine" comes to mind.


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## eternallifeinchrist (Jun 10, 2007)

Yeah, I was the one too who used to challenge and be an unbeliever. In our family these days the moderates in my family just avoid talking about spiritual issues. (I don't want to call them unbelievers cause they probably are not.) Advice, even if they are arguing, they are listening, processing, and thinking. I know God used some 'random' comment from a party argument about Christianity to establish a solid basis for me to believe that he exists. Some people love to argue; we as believers have to love to be gentle and point them to Christ's atoning work and resurrection! <><


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## Gloria (Jun 11, 2007)

The issue I usually run into is that nearly in my family calls themselves a Christian, despite no visible change in lifestyle, priorities, etc. There seems to be no santification taking place whatsoever...which of course makes me concerned about their salvation.

I've presented the gospel to my uncle, who I love dearly, on several occasions and he mocks. He doesn't believe the Bible is inerrant. He has to be dragged to church. He usually says "You believe what you believe and I'll believe what I believe." He's bought into relativism like you wouldn't believe, yet he says he's a Christian because he was baptised in the Pacific Ocean  *sigh* That's been visibly fruitless. I pray that God calls him inwardly...

Recently, I presented a relative with the law to show her everyone's need for a savior and then shared the gospel. She was shocked, shaken and even asked me if what I'd just shared with her is in the Bible. She sxplained to me that she'd NEVER heard it before. The only problem is that she was raised in the church! She's expressed some interest in getting back into attending church, but has expressed no interest in moving her live in boyfriend out of her apartment....so I don't know.

I've also presented the gospel to another relative...He says he understands, but will admit that he's not a Christian.

So, my point, like I said, is that people equate going to church and being nice with being saved...those who profess Christ and those who don't. It's difficult all the way around, because I come from a charismatic background. I end overlooking the obvious doctrinal issues so I can have to opportunity to deal with the gospel.

Present the truth and pray, that's all I can do.


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## Gloria (Jun 11, 2007)

JM said:


> I wasn’t sure where to post this, but I’m interested in how the members on this forum deal with unsaved loved ones who seem to mock or challenge our faith. It seems every time my family has a get together, BBQ, birthday, etc. it ends in some kind of challenge to the Christian worldview or faith and I’m not sure how to deal with it.
> 
> How do you deal with these challenges?



Stand firm. Present the truth in love.


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## LadyFlynt (Jun 11, 2007)

I'm in Gloria's situation...except my relatives have this "image" game they play. To make themselves look good, they put others down. They've told my husband and others that I'm an unbeliever :sigh:

Basically, I've gotten to the point of not engaging. They are willing to engage hubby. My SIL was forbidden from discussing anything of a religious nature as I make her think too much and then she questions the teachings of her husband. (and currently we aren't permitted to talk at all...going on 7mos)


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## BJClark (Jun 11, 2007)

Gloria;



> I've presented the gospel to my uncle, who I love dearly, on several occasions and he mocks. He doesn't believe the Bible is inerrant. He has to be dragged to church. He usually says "You believe what you believe and I'll believe what I believe."



For some people like this all you can do is continue to pray, and share as God leads you. You could also ask why he doesn't believe the Bible is inerrant, and he will probably say "because it was written by man" to which you can ask him, "then how can he believe ANY of it? Including that His sins are forgiven and that He will go to heaven? Or that Christ really did die on the cross? If he does not believe that ALL of it is inerrant, how can he believe ANY part of it at all??" Then you step back and allow the Holy Spirit to work...yes it may take time, but it's all in God's time anyway...



> Recently, I presented a relative with the law to show her everyone's need for a savior and then shared the gospel. She was shocked, shaken and even asked me if what I'd just shared with her is in the Bible. She sxplained to me that she'd NEVER heard it before. The only problem is that she was raised in the church! She's expressed some interest in getting back into attending church, but has expressed no interest in moving her live in boyfriend out of her apartment....so I don't know.



In a situation like this, all you can do is present them a Bible and show them what it says (even asking them to read it for themselves)...and again, step back and allow the Holy Spirit to work..and just know, it may take some time for her to get to the point of asking her live in boyfriend to move out...or insist they get married or end the relationship all together. You have done what God has asked of you...You've shared HIS truth with her..now the rest is up God to work in her heart...

Ladyflynt,



> I'm in Gloria's situation...except my relatives have this "image" game they play. To make themselves look good, they put others down.



When I read this, I was reminded of somethings I wrote a few years ago...I should probably go in and update the blog, and share other things God has taught me more recently, but I haven't taken the time to do so..


http://truthpricks.blogspot.com/2005/01/making-god-lord-over-our-life.html


http://truthpricks.blogspot.com/2005/02/stones.html


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## JM (Jun 11, 2007)

Thanks folks, good stuff so far.


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## eternallifeinchrist (Jun 11, 2007)

I really like this advice.


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## Iconoclast (Jun 12, 2007)

*plant seed*

Jm
Pray for those family meetings that someone will ask about current events that you can comment on from a christian point of view.
Make sure you enter in to whatever conversation you can that they bring up. ie, sports,gardening, cooking,favorite restaurants and the like so they cannot say you are only playing one string on the guitar.
When you can present truth sometime keep it confined to one or two main themes. For example 1 Cor 15:22 In Adam all die/In Christ all live
In Noahs day there was a place of safety[ in the ark]
In Lot's day it was outside of the city
In our day it is ONLY IN Christ!
This way you leave a concept in their mind with a scriptural root that can be used by the Spirit as they reflect on their day and interaction with you.
Sometimes I encourage them to read the scripture for themself just to see what it contains, whether they believe it or not.
I try to keep a confession of faith with me to give if someone is really interested,or a good book like right with God, by John Blanchard.
Make sure to say something like, let me know what you think of this book or tract, or booklet. And that you will check with them in a few days to see what they think of it. This way they know that you put value on it,and are concerned to help them.


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## LadyFlynt (Jun 12, 2007)

Thank you, Bobbie. Being called a non-believer in hubby's family is a means of dismisal of anything that person says or does. I'll go take a look at your blog. Right now, I just don't react and keep to myself...they can't make drama out of that.


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## calgal (Jun 12, 2007)

Go in prayerfully and do not just preach at the nonbelievers. That way the message you want them to hear (as God wills it) will not be diluted by "oh that's just so and so." Don't compromise on the big things but respect them as creatioons of God.


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## Raj (Jun 14, 2007)

*we all face it*



JM said:


> I wasn’t sure where to post this, but I’m interested in how the members on this forum deal with unsaved loved ones who seem to mock or challenge our faith. It seems every time my family has a get together, BBQ, birthday, etc. it ends in some kind of challenge to the Christian worldview or faith and I’m not sure how to deal with it.
> 
> How do you deal with these challenges?




I think this is a common thing for all of us to experience. Well, I am the first one to believe from my family. And I am the eldest son among other, two brothes and one sister.
I believed in Christ and kept silent for many months in the family. NO body knew I was a Christian. But slowly as I learned the Bible's message, I began to speak about my faith. The talks were usually started by my friends or relatives who watched me carrying a Bible and going to a fellowship on Sundays. When they asked questions, I answered them as much as I knew. 
Many times I had hard times because the people asked so many (silly questions). But I did not get angry and on some subjects I just kept silent. There were times when I felt humiliated by my young friends. My relatives also asked many questions and discussed things with me. I answered them correctly, but they did not believe.

You know we may present good arguement and provide accurate answer to their mind but this too does not work when it comes to believe in the Bible. 

My parents got angry on me many times but I kept silent and did my part in the family. I loved them more than anyone else and tried to be good son. I took them to the Fellowship and and they followed me. Same thing for my brothers and sister. And praise God after a long gap of years finally they committed their lives to Christ.
I am applying the same method for my others family members as they are all out until now. 

Some time calling a mature Pastor, intelligent friend can be a help to deal with the extra ordinary topics.
I pray, share, ask them to come to Church, wherever possible help, this is all I do. Good testimoney is needed to give some influence, while we do our part in best ways, much depends on the Lord grace and on the persons response.


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## bwsmith (Jun 14, 2007)

Gloria said:


> Stand firm. Present the truth in love.



Yes! And remember, trust and hope, that what you and I fail to say, or can't say, the Holy Spirit is more than able and willing to say -- persistently -- to the one whose heart is still hard. He will pursue and persuade, esp. as we pray -- and alas, prayer is the one thing I fail at!


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