# A Redneck Marine's letter to home



## Piano Hero

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay, practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges they come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice


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## Scottish Lass




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## SolaScriptura

Now that's what I'm talking about!


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## PresbyDane




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## nicnap

That must have been my grandmother...her name was Alice, and she was tough as nails. She could shoot, and when she was in her 70's she chased off a burglar, and beat him half silly.


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## MrMerlin777




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## Herald

"Your loving daughter, Alice."


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## Knoxienne

nicnap said:


> That must have been my grandmother...her name was Alice, and she was tough as nails. She could shoot, and when she was in her 70's she chased off a burglar, and beat him half silly.




That's the kind of old lady _I_ want to be - sans the military "Alice" at the top of course.


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## Reformingstudent




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## nicnap

Oh...I have some stories.


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## SemperEruditio

Didn't see "Alice" coming.


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## Hamalas




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## smhbbag

I've seen that a few places before - it's hilarious.

Though this part reminds me of the worst part of boot camp:



> Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc.,



It ain't even strong on that. I went to boot camp able to do 30 pull-ups, nearly infinite push-ups, could run all day long. I was interested in pursuing special forces, so I prepared like it for boot camp. My senior year of high school I ate at least 5-6,000 calories a day just to maintain my weight.

The first of June, reporting to Parris Island, I was 5'10, 185lbs and absolutely solid. The workouts seemed a bit of a joke, and I genuinely don't believe I got 1,000 calories a day.

By the end of June, I was a very soft 155 lbs, and struggled to do 5 pullups, or run a single mile without really feeling it. The workouts were intolerably difficult. All of my muscle had completely disappeared.

At that point, I was almost going to knock on my drill instructor's door and offer a trade - that I would do every bit of dirty work he could throw at me and sleep 2 hours a night if he would just let me eat adult-sized meals.

I never got to find out if the rations improved in volume, as I was sent home with a medical discharge (an unrelated allergy).

My family and friends, instead of being happy to see me home, were horrified. The first thing they all asked was, "My goodness, what did they _do_ to you?" My mom (a nurse) actually covered her mouth and nearly started crying before she could hug me, as she knew what it took to make my body to go from what it was, to what it had become in only one month.

Sorry to hijack the thread with a personal story, but I just don't understand how anyone survives. I shudder to think what I'd have looked like at the end, wasting away for 13 weeks that way. But, from every Marine I've talked to, none experienced anything similar.


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## Rangerus

forwarded to my son in the Marines and his sister "Alison".


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## Augusta




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## Skyler

The ending is probably the best part.


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## LawrenceU

Believe it or not that is about the opinion of my cousin when he came home after PI boot camp. He thrived on it. He, too, lost quite of bit of muscle mass while there. He was significantly lest strong than when he left. He got it back, though. But, then again our most of the necks in our family would be considered to be fairly tinged by red.


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## MMasztal

"Alice" 

I have some stories too.


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