# Humor And Wisdom



## Blueridge Believer (Jun 19, 2007)

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and aleaky tire.3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal yourneighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't bepromoted.5 Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple ofpayments.8.Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you havetheir shoes.9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you10.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it wasprobably worth it.12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. (I like this one!)14 Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and putit back in your pocket.16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips aremoving.20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you needit.21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and alaxative on the same night.


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## MrMerlin777 (Jun 19, 2007)




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## Ivan (Jun 19, 2007)

Good stuff, James!


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Jun 19, 2007)




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## LadyCalvinist (Jun 20, 2007)




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