# Moody daughters



## polemic_turtle (Nov 17, 2006)

What should parents do to prepare for( or live through ) the _"moody"_ years of their daughters? I have no daughters as of yet, but I'm interested in seeing what God's people think about the topic. In my experience, they can be extremely whiny and argumentative. How is that solved? Does careful and strict discipline beforehand take care of it or is there more that needs to be done? I appreciate your responses!


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## MrMerlin777 (Nov 17, 2006)

You mean they have "moody years"? 

My daughter is only 6 and she's been "moody" since she was born. 

One has to be consistent with the proper biblical application of discipline when needed. As far as whether or not the moodyness will get worse in my daughter, I'll just have to wait and cross the bridge when I get there. 

I have found that with both of my children. (9y/o son, 6y/o daughter) That they do start to "get the picture" after awhile as long as, if discipline is needed, that it is consistent and fair (punishment fits the crime sorta thing). Some times, depending on the situation, I'll elect to show "mercy" rather than simply punish an offense. But again that depends on the situation. And sometimes when my children do somthing wrong, what they do ends up being it's own punishment (usually accompanied by some slight bleeding and tears). In those cases I'll usually remind them why they weren't supposed to be doing the deed in the first place.


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## LadyFlynt (Nov 17, 2006)

I hate to agree...but hormones in girls begin by age 2 at the latest...bwahahaha!

Consistency, understanding. Knowing when they are abusing their emotions (ie., to manipulate) and when they just need a hug. Always listen. And learn to deal.


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## turmeric (Nov 18, 2006)

LadyFlynt said:


> I hate to agree...but hormones in girls begin by age 2 at the latest...bwahahaha!
> 
> Consistency, understanding. Knowing when they are abusing their emotions (ie., to manipulate) and when they just need a hug. Always listen. And learn to deal.



Amen, particularly to the last part. Emotions may be annoying to others, but they aren't always a sin, sometimes they're literally a hormonal "bad trip" and can't be controlled.


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## bookslover (Nov 18, 2006)

turmeric said:


> Amen, particularly to the last part. Emotions may be annoying to others, but they aren't always a sin, sometimes they're literally a hormonal "bad trip" and can't be controlled.



I like Mark Twain's advice on raising children (and I say this as the father of three grown children, two of them girls): "Raise children by putting them into a barrel, sealing the lid, and feeding them through the knothole. When they get to be teenagers - seal up the knothole." My paraphrase.

I kid. I kid because I love...


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## caddy (Nov 18, 2006)

I have a 20 year old.

Will it ever end ! : )

She's a blessing. Girls are just more "challenging" and complex creatures 

My son is 22.


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## ReformedWretch (Nov 18, 2006)

I live and work with 13 teen girls and have for 14 years now. So, including my wife (and up until a year ago our daughter) it's me and 14 (was 15) women. Can anyone else claim that kind of experience with females?

I LOVE girls (lol) I love their complexity, I love their minds, emotions, and moodiness. I just love the challange. Now my daughter has me a bit depressed because she continues to reject Christ, but when we are together we get along, talk, joke, and just have a pretty solid relationship.

Some simple advice:

-Girls LOVE to talk. Do not deprive them of this. DOn't expect them to shut up and go play. That works with boys, not girls.

-Girls need an explination, "because I said so" doesn't go over well with females. There is a time for that, but when you can discuss the situation with a female you should.

-Girls need attention. Put the ball game on mute, go to their sporting events, spelling bees, recitals, etc. They love that.

-Gilrs need to see what a real Godly man is. Like my dauther they may chose to rejcect it, but they still need to see it, BADLY.

-Girls need a fatherly figure, but they also need a strong woman (mother), yet the woman CANNOT be domineering. Tough mix to find today, but it's a must to raise a strong daughter who understands her role as a female.

Now, when dealing with moodiness...ready for this???

Call them on it!

Don't be mean, sometimes you can even be a little funny about it, but call them on it. A girl who grows up with parents who excuse or ignore her moodiness makes a terrible woman. As the dad discuss their emotions and hormones with them, point out what's bad and why along with what's normal and why. COnversations like this is why a strong mother is also a must as I mentioned earlier.

If you need any other opinions let me know


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## ReformedWretch (Nov 18, 2006)

Did I kill this thread?


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## LadyFlynt (Nov 18, 2006)

I think you did excellent, Adam!


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## ReformedWretch (Nov 18, 2006)

Thaks Colleen. Just so people aren't thinking "the know it all has spoken" as they abandon the thread


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## LadyFlynt (Nov 19, 2006)

I think it's more that it's the weekend. Posting goes down I think. I would have seen it sooner if I hadn't been out running errands and spending time with family.

(Don't worry, sometimes I think I'm a thread killer also)


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## turmeric (Nov 19, 2006)

Actually, I found your post balanced and helpful. Girls are wired differently than boys, it's true. I suppose with correct handling "moods" can become a blessing.


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## ReformedWretch (Nov 19, 2006)

turmeric said:


> Actually, I found your post balanced and helpful. Girls are wired differently than boys, it's true. I suppose with correct handling "moods" can become a blessing.



EXACTLY!

I found boys more difficult to work with because they aren't moody. Many prefer to work with boys for this reason. Sure, boys can be "easy" if you don't like to talk, counsel, and teach as much but the way I look at it is that they are difficult because you have to DIG and PROD. With girls, they always lay something right out there to work with.


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## polemic_turtle (Nov 19, 2006)

Thank you for your excellent responses, Adam! I'm pleased to hear from one so experienced. I suppose you would say the "moodiness" allows you to quickly switch from angry to happy, if handled correctly? Does a simple "you're PMSing" diffuse a situation or does it require something a bit more subtle?


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## ReformedWretch (Nov 19, 2006)

NO!

lol, don't use the "PMSing" phrase, that will have an opposite effect causing the moodiness to get worse! WHen one of our girls is moody I simply pull them aside and say something like 

"Hey, what's with you girl? You're clearly not yourself and that bums me out. Maybe you're just not with it today and that's cool, but let me know if I can help ok, I miss the real you!"

OR

"Hey girl!" (She may snap back "WHAT?!" so be prepared) at which point you say something like..

"Wow, what's that about? I was just going to ask you if you wanted to go to the store with me. We can stop at Dairy Queen on the way back if you want." 

If she storms off let her go and talk to her later reminding her you tried to get her out of the house for a while and she stormed off instead. If she accepts take the time on the way to the store to talk and pay for the ice creme even if she has money!


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## LadyFlynt (Nov 19, 2006)

PMSing...definately not an excuse. And as Adam stated, could only make things worse. The other reason NOT to mention it is that later the girls start feeding off of it...ie., using it as an excuse to bad behaviour or whining or whatever. The only time I would count an excuse of PMSing is when they need to lay down or end up with REALLY bad (generally physical) symptoms. Kinda hard not to cry when you are on the floor in pain (which may indicate other gyn problems).


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