# What do you do in this situation?



## uberkermit (Jan 16, 2008)

While I am on lunch break at work, I often have my Bible out to read. Because it is winter, my co-workers and I will often seek shelter in the site superintendent's office trailer. Today, the site super was on the phone, and he took the Lord's name in vain, and then turned around and looked at me and said, "Sorry for the language." I just kind of raised my arm in a bit of a shrug.

I was thinking about this - it is not for me to forgive him, and it is not me that he sinned against; yet he seems to think that he has primarily offended me. He also appears to have a view of religion that consists of not breaking the rules. 

Anyway, I never know what to say in situations like this. I could have gotten on his case about breaking the commandment of the Lord, but I do not really think that he was interested in having a conversation of that nature. We are not friends, but are basically on a 'say hello' basis.

Basically I want to hear from people about what they would do in the same (or similar) situation. I prayed for wisdom afterwards, and I am looking for a good way to deal with these situations. Who knows, but that God might use one of you to help me know what to do?


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## turmeric (Jan 16, 2008)

I would do the same - and pray for a clear cut opportunity - when he's actually asking you questions. If God doesn't give you that opening, don't make one. He may not be elect, or he may be reserved for someone else to harvest. Just my .


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## Narnian (Jan 16, 2008)

In this case I would thank him for the apology. I would say it is a good thing - it shows you are being a little leaven in his life. I might add I wasn't the one really offended (with a smile) and see if he follows up. I view these as great opportunities to share the gospel. 

I have worked where the conversation changed tone when I walked into a room, not because I preached or criticised people but just spoke how I would like to be spoken too. I would enthusiastically engage where I could and just left when I had to. As a result I believe a respect was built up over time. And I had to leave less and less.

Gentleness works surprisingly well in a rough environment.


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## Iconoclast (Jan 16, 2008)

uberkermit said:


> While I am on lunch break at work, I often have my Bible out to read. Because it is winter, my co-workers and I will often seek shelter in the site superintendent's office trailer. Today, the site super was on the phone, and he took the Lord's name in vain, and then turned around and looked at me and said, "Sorry for the language." I just kind of raised my arm in a bit of a shrug.
> 
> I was thinking about this - it is not for me to forgive him, and it is not me that he sinned against; yet he seems to think that he has primarily offended me. He also appears to have a view of religion that consists of not breaking the rules.
> 
> ...




Hello Rob,
Welcome to the Puritanboard. In a fallen world we are going to be in this situation more than we would like. First you mentioned praying for wisdom. Pray also for a good opportunity to use this incident to engage this man in a biblical discussion. That fact that he apologized for his unclean speech is a good sign that his conscience is not seared.
Find out what backround of religion he has been exposed to. The goal of the conversation is not reformation of his speech habits, but rather to see if he has any profession of saving faith.
Eph.5:1-17 is a section of scripture to have in mind depending on how your conversation progresses. At the end of chapter 4 Paul tells believer's not grieve the Holy Spirit by our actions ,and unwarranted speech.
If he is a christian he would be sensitive to the scripture in this section. If he is only religious you might want to present the fact that we sin by nature, and taking God's name in vain is only a symptom of our sin and rebellion before a Holy God. 
One time I knew a man at work who said he was a christian but he thought it was ok to curse. I was able to turn him to Mt.26:73-74


> 73And after a while came unto him they that stood by, and said to Peter, Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech bewrayeth thee.
> 
> 74Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, I know not the man. And immediately the **** crew.


 Peter cursed in an effort to avoid arrest as a disciple. I know not the man! The fact that God takes notice of all of our speech and conduct should be enough for all of us to see our need of a Saviour.

Do not rush this. Pray about it and watch for a good time to get to know him on a more personal, friendly basis.If he see's that you are interested in him, he might think about listening to you a bit more.


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## VictorBravo (Jan 16, 2008)

turmeric said:


> I would do the same - and pray for a clear cut opportunity - when he's actually asking you questions. If God doesn't give you that opening, don't make one. He may not be elect, or he may be reserved for someone else to harvest. Just my .



I agree. I work among many with rather foul mouths. It doesn't offend me at all because I know it goes with the territory. But many times openings occur. Sometimes they bear encouraging fruit.

I wouldn't go on a crusade to tell everyone who curses vainly that they are violating God's law. They know it already. But if anybody ever comes up to you privately asking if their language offends you, I'd suggest answering along the lines of, "it doesn't matter whether it offends me at all, it's a question of whether it offends God."

I've actually had that happen to me two times last year, and both times led to me being able to discuss the gospel with them. One of them is my boss, and he keeps coming back for more. (Pray for him).


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## Southern Presbyterian (Jan 16, 2008)

victorbravo said:


> I wouldn't go on a crusade to tell everyone who curses vainly that they are violating God's law. They know it already. But if anybody ever comes up to you privately asking if their language offends you, I'd suggest answering along the lines of, "it doesn't matter whether it offends me at all, it's a question of whether it offends God."


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## Augusta (Jan 16, 2008)

I agree with the general consensus so far with one exception. We should be offended when God's name is taken in vain. In our culture I think we have been trained to expect it and we have gotten used to it. I think it should offend us greatly. We know that God is more than just offended, He is righteously angered by it and every single incident of it will be recompensed in the end.


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## moral necessity (Jan 16, 2008)

If he appeared to seriously direct the statement to you with intent and meaning, (and not just say it as one would if they accidentally bumped into you or accidentally stepped on your shoe), I would say something to the effect of: "Hey, if I had to apologize to you for all of the sins I do in a day, we never would get much work done." And, if that flowed well, and a pause existed afterward, I might add: "Besides, the offense isn't against me anyway."

Having been in construction periodically, I've experienced similar apologizings. You don't want to appear superior or holier than they are. You want to stand beside them as equally (if not more) sinful, and point to Christ.

Blessings and prayers!


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## ~~Susita~~ (Jan 16, 2008)

moral necessity said:


> "Hey, if I had to apologize to you for all of the sins I do in a day, we never would get much work done." And, if that flowed well, and a pause existed afterward, I might add: "Besides, the offense isn't against me anyway."





There are some real foul mouths around school and when I happen to know the person, I usually tell them, "Hey bud, watch your mouth." They usually look guilty and apologize. The apology is usually followed by, "Why? You didn't take my name in vain. Offer the apology where it is due." It starts some good conversations usually, they watch their language around me, and they've said they are now trying to stop cursing. The latter is fine, but the first is what I strive for more.


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## Barnpreacher (Jan 16, 2008)

It's funny because just the other day I was out eating lunch by myself. I was minding my own business, reading Bahnsen, and waiting on my food. At the table across from me were three college age girls and they were dropping f-bombs right and left, and it was really getting to me. I'm not normally one to say much to people out in public, but I thought of my little girl and how I would be so heartbroken if she grew up and talked like a pig. I'm not excusing it when a guy uses foul language, but there is just something so disturbing when a young girl uses four letter words.

I came really close to asking them very politely to cut out the foul language, but I decided to bite my tongue and do my best to ignore them. Then an opportunity presented itself. One of the girls walked right over to my table and took the parmesan cheese, without even bothering to ask for it. One of the other girls told her that was rude and she looked over and said, "You weren't using it were you?" And so I said, "Listen, promise me you'll stop dropping f-bombs and you can have the cheese."

Before they left one of the girls brought the cheese back to my table and said, "Here's your cheese back, sir. We're sorry for talking that way." I don't know if she was sincere or not, but she seemed to be. 

The Lord opens the doors and gives us utterance when and how to say the right thing.

(I know what some of you are thinking - the Lord was just putting you through that predicament as a chastisement for reading Bahnsen. )


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## VictorBravo (Jan 17, 2008)

Barnpreacher said:


> (I know what some of you are thinking - the Lord was just putting you through that predicament as a chastisement for reading Bahnsen. )



 Actually, a similar thing happened to me while I was reading Robert Bolton's _The Four Last Things._ Except the young lady asked me what I was reading.

I told her I had gotten through Judgment and was starting Hell.


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## uberkermit (Jan 17, 2008)

Thanks for the replies, all of you. I will take it all into consideration.



Iconoclast said:


> The goal of the conversation is not reformation of his speech habits, but rather to see if he has any profession of saving faith.



Exactly my thoughts - I am not at all interested in trying to make this guy into a 'moral' person. What he needs is a change of heart, if indeed he is no Christian.


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