# How Many Forum Members Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?



## VirginiaHuguenot (Jun 12, 2006)

How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section 
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid 
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum 
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group 
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy 
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.


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## crhoades (Jun 12, 2006)

Oh soooo true.


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## Formerly At Enmity (Jun 12, 2006)

Another 7 to write on the various greek terms for "light" that may be necessary for clarification


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## BobVigneault (Jun 12, 2006)

Excellent Andrew! The only thing missing is the member who is going to block copy and paste from page 2, paragraph 9, line 4 to page 47, paragraph 6, line 17 of the Lamp Replacement and Reference Manual, 2004 edition, and expect eveyone to read it online.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Jun 12, 2006)

> _Originally posted by BobVigneault_
> Excellent Andrew! The only thing missing is the member who is going to block copy and paste from page 2, paragraph 9, line 4 to page 47, paragraph 6, line 17 of the Lamp Replacement and Reference Manual, 2004 edition, and expect eveyone to read it online.



Don't worry, Bob, I'm working on that right now...:bigsmile:


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## gwine (Jun 12, 2006)

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by BobVigneault_
> ...



I was afraid of that. 

And remember, the light bulb has to *want* to be changed.


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## BobVigneault (Jun 12, 2006)

Gerry, you must be thinking of an arminian light bulb.


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## gwine (Jun 12, 2006)

> _Originally posted by BobVigneault_
> Gerry, you must be thinking of an arminian light bulb.



Well, duh. 

Of course, if you put one of these babies in your lamp socket we would never have to worry about replacing the light, anyway.

But I'm wondering about baptizing the bulb before using it. Would it be safer to just sprinkle rather than immerse?


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Jun 12, 2006)

Somehow I knew this thread would turn into a discussion about baptism or Watts!






[Edited on 6-12-2006 by VirginiaHuguenot]


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## fivepointcalvinist (Jun 12, 2006)




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## turmeric (Jun 12, 2006)

How many baptize brand-new lightbulbs and how many wait to see if they light up first?


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## Anton Bruckner (Jun 12, 2006)

> _Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot_
> 
> 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.


SCHWEEEEEEEEEET :bigsmile:


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## turmeric (Jun 12, 2006)

oh, and 1 to start a poll about how many changed lightbulbs before they became Reformed.


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## Civbert (Jun 12, 2006)

I think it's standard grammar to spell out the words for numbers when they begin a sentence - write: "Five dogs live under that there porch" rather than "5 dogs live under that there porch".










[Edited on 6-12-2006 by Civbert]


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## crhoades (Jun 12, 2006)

Lest we forget...

What about the Regulative Principle for changing lightbulbs?

Then there are the exclusive halogenists...


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## turmeric (Jun 12, 2006)

Then there's the debate between those who like to point out lightning to skeptics as evidence of the existence of electricity and those who say one must presuppose electricity in order to know anything about lightbulbs...


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## beej6 (Jun 12, 2006)

Pardon this post, but I couldn't resist it...

****

(source: Biblical Studies Bulletin, Grove Books UK)

1. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one since his hands are in the air anyway.

2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. God has predestined when the lights will be on or off. Or...

Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the light bulb will be moved to change itself.

3. How many Baptists or Brethren does it take to change a light bulb?

CHANGE???????

4. How many neo-evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.

5. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

6. How many televangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

7. How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one; any more would mean compromise & God's holy standards of light would slip.

8. How many liberals does it take to change a light Bulb?

At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

9. How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They always use candles.

10. How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.

11. How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. Two to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

12. How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

13. How many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb?

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

14. How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how.
***
(Part II

1. How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he has to write a prayer letter about it afterwards.

2. How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

3. How many Nazarenes does it take to change a light bulb?

One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

4. How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

We read that we are to so fear and love God that we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, not by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Of course, the room is still dark.

Paul Ganney, computer guru at Hull Royal Infirmary, fine bass player and husband of Ridley Hall's own Rachel Ganney, adds the following:

5. How many Spirit-filled evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pray, and two to catch it when it falls.

6. How many youth leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

Eleven. One to hide the ladder, and ten to form a human pyramid.

7. How many church administrators does it take to change a light bulb?

Let me get back to you on that one...

Finally, Maf Cavill writes:

8. How many free church elders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Responsibility for fabric rests with the body of deacons.


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## Semper Fidelis (Jun 12, 2006)

> _Originally posted by turmeric_
> Then there's the debate between those who like to point out lightning to skeptics as evidence of the existence of electricity and those who say one must presuppose electricity in order to know anything about lightbulbs...


Or Clarkians to criticize the presupposing of electricity as circular reasoning...


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## Hungus (Jun 12, 2006)

> Support the Puritanboard
> Admins and Moderators Page
> Last active: 6-12-2006 at 10:47 PM
> 
> ...


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## py3ak (Jun 13, 2006)

How about the people who get on the serious thread with irrelevant and light-hearted posts?


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## turmeric (Jun 13, 2006)

It's a temptation to do what Hungus did and then post a but I won't.


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## Hungus (Jun 13, 2006)

> _Originally posted by turmeric_
> It's a temptation to do what Hungus did and then post a but I won't.



Finney made me do it ...


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## turmeric (Jun 13, 2006)

How many Finneyites does it take to change a lightbulb? Lets see; one to play "This Little Light of Mine" on the organ, one to speak movingly about how dreadful it is to have a little dead tungsten-thingamajig rattling around inside you, and the horrors of the trash compactor, and how much better it is just to light up and live like a decent lightbulb...

[Edited on 6-14-2006 by turmeric]


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## turmeric (Jun 13, 2006)

> _Originally posted by SemperFideles_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by turmeric_
> ...



That would be spherical reasoning, or perhaps you prefer globe lighting?:bigsmile:


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## Semper Fidelis (Jun 14, 2006)

How many revivalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Hey! What are you doing looking at the light bulb? Every head is supposed to be bowed and every eye closed!

or

How many revivalists does it take to change a light bulb?

I'm sorry, I can't answer that question. That is a very personal thing between me and the light bulb that I can't express in propositional terms. All I know is that the lightbulb...
Lights for me
and it's Bright for me
it lights a room all my own
and the photons it shares
as I tary there
no other has ever known.


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## panta dokimazete (Jun 14, 2006)

How 'bout:

Just as I am
Without one ray
But that thy glow
Illuminate my day!
and as thou biddest me
see my beam! 
oh Lamp on the wall
I come, I come...

[Edited on 6-15-2006 by jdlongmire]


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## Hungus (Jun 15, 2006)

> _Originally posted by jdlongmire_
> 
> 
> How 'bout:
> ...



Just as I am
Without one ray
But that thy glow
Illumine my day!
and as thou biddest me
see my beam! 
oh Lamp upon the wall
I come...

I think this fits the metre better


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Nov 10, 2006)




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## PuritanCovenanter (Nov 10, 2006)

Did you create this Andrew? It is hilarious.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Nov 10, 2006)

puritancovenanter said:


> Did you create this Andrew? It is hilarious.



Nope, I'm not sure of the origin, but it came to me via email and I think it's just circulating through cyberspace. But how true it is!


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## QueenEsther (Nov 10, 2006)

hahaha, this is too funny


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## Richard King (Nov 10, 2006)

It seems that at least a couple of us would have mentioned that the South could have done a superior job of light bulb changing  way down south in Dixie.


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## Timothy William (Nov 11, 2006)

> And remember, the light bulb has to want to be changed.





BobVigneault said:


> Gerry, you must be thinking of an arminian light bulb.


How many Pelagians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, the light bulb does not need fundamental change, it just needs to try a little harder to do good works.

We do not change light bulbs, we believe in the perseverance of the Light Bulb. Did not our Lord, quoting Scripture, say "a bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering <light source> he will not snuff out"? 

Those light bulbs which stop giving light and need changing were not true light bulbs, though they may have been part of the visible light bulb community, they emitted no true light. They departed from us because they were never part of us.


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## jaybird0827 (Nov 11, 2006)

If you {bump} a light bulb, will it break?


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## turmeric (Nov 11, 2006)

Have we had this yet?

How many FV's does it take to change a lightbulb?

Covenant maintenance is the responsibility of the lightbulb, once it's turned on, it must maintain itself in order to remain in the lightbulb community. What Paul was talking about wasn't actually _change_ although he used that word, he was actually talking about how one gets considered to be a lightbulb in the first place. It's just the same thing you guys say, you just don't understand us!(sob). Confused? So am i...


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## beej6 (Nov 11, 2006)

I never get tired of this thread. Meg, that was especially funny... and sad in a way.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Mar 10, 2007)




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## bowhunter1961 (Mar 10, 2007)

Presbyterians changin bulbs? i dont think so, we're "not into works", we'll let the methodist do it, after all, they're babtist that can read !


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## Andrew P.C. (Mar 10, 2007)

VirginiaHuguenot said:


> 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.



Well, Here you go Andrew. You started it up again.


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Jun 28, 2007)




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## govols (Jun 28, 2007)

jaybird0827 said:


> If you {bump} a light bulb, will it break?



What is a {bump}?


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## govols (Jun 28, 2007)

govols said:


> What is a {bump}?



Seriously.


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## turmeric (Jun 28, 2007)

It's a word you use when you want to resurrect an old thread.


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## MrMerlin777 (Jun 28, 2007)

I wonder how many Campbellites it takes to change a light bulb?


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## MW (Jun 28, 2007)

In Japan a man was conducting a revival meeting and the lights went out. So the speaker asked everyone to raise their hands. At which the lights came back on. Everyone was amazed and whispered amongst themselves how it could have happened. Finally someone mustered up the courage to ask the speaker. He answered, Many hands make light work.


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## govols (Jun 29, 2007)

turmeric said:


> It's a word you use when you want to resurrect an old thread.





I know.  I did it twice.


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## LadyCalvinist (Jun 29, 2007)

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb? Well, first the matter has to go to the session, then it must go to Presbytery, then to the General Assembly who will form a committee to determine if the light bulb was _predestined _to be changed.


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## Beth Ellen Nagle (Jun 29, 2007)

Should we be using light bulbs to begin with??


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## Richard King (Jun 29, 2007)

i have decided to just curse the darkness.
Who has time to change lightbulbs when there is a PB posting frenzy going on?


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## gwine (Jun 29, 2007)

Beth Ellen Nagle said:


> Should we be using light bulbs to begin with??



And God said:

∇ • E = ρ / εo

∇ • B = 0

∇ x E = - ∂B/∂t

∇ x B = μoJ + μoεo∂E/∂t 

And it was so.

Rev 21:23 And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. 
Rev 21:24 By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, 
Rev 21:25 and its gates will never be shut by day--and there will be no night there.


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