# Captian Grymir's trip through Emergent Space



## Grymir (Mar 18, 2008)

As anybody who's been to Beta Puritan Board knows, Star Trek Voyager is the best Star Trek. As I was sucked out of the conservative quadrant and ended up in a liberal wasteland, I have to find my way to the Reformed Quadrant. I am facing a dilemma. I may have to lay aside the Prime Directive (RPW) to get my church through emergent space. As long as they are stuck on choruses and how to get closer to holiness through your own efforts preaching, by the time they discover the emergent church borg, it will be yesterdays news, and they will have to go back to regular worship like when I joined the church. Before the evil projector screen stranded us in:

THE MEGA CHURCH WANNA BE QUADRANT







Capitan's log - stardate 200803.18 - After being stranded out here, I just avoided the Grand Nagus (Joel Olsteen), but am now entering Emerging Space. I'm thinking of laying aside the Prime Directive (RPW) to get my crew (church) home safely. hmm I need help.

Computer, Activate the Emergency Hologram Theologian (That's the Puritan Board) What should I do?


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## Southern Presbyterian (Mar 18, 2008)

Please state the nature of the Theological emergency.


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## Grymir (Mar 18, 2008)

Doctor, (In the mideval sense of the term), the symtoms are that every two weeks a projector screen comes down, shows pretty pictures and words, and the people are singing songs that glorify man and not God. Continual culturally relevent preaching, disguised as the gospel. (I think species 8427). Last years easter sermon was Rick Warrens 40 days of whatever, and the worst symtom - NIV pew bible. 

And I want to get through Emerging Space to get home to the Reformed Quadrant.


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## Southern Presbyterian (Mar 18, 2008)

First, you must realize that few are able to make the trip to the Reformed Quadrant successfully. A daunting task lays before you, Captain.

Check the EPS (Exclusive Psalm Singing) conduits, or there may be a malfunction 
in the main deflector. Perhaps some positive reinforcement messages are slipping through the shielding.

There are no further directives at this time.


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## onemaster (Mar 18, 2008)

Do not abandon the prime directive (RPW). Logic clearly dictates that the commands of the one outweigh the felt needs of the many.


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## Grymir (Mar 18, 2008)

Sigh, If only they realized I am the Capitan of the ship and not the Pastor/session.

According to you, oh great emergency theological Hologram, my shields are whacked and my EPS conduits are fried. 

The only other ship in the area is the USS Lutheran Missouri Synod. I just can't do it. They are Calvinist's who deny being Calvinist's. The 4 point thing aside.

My only hope is that Emerging Space folds on itself into oblivion!!


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## Grymir (Mar 18, 2008)

onemaster said:


> Do not abandon the prime directive (RPW). Logic clearly dictates that the commands of the one outweigh the felt needs of the many.


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## Grymir (Mar 18, 2008)

I tried the USS KJV-only Baptists, but as soon as they heard me mention Calvin, they beamed me back!! (Sigh, and I thought it would be a match made in, well, Borg Perfection)


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## Grymir (Mar 19, 2008)

My approach so far has been to get them away from the sappy love stuff and turn them into a Church that snubs poor, uneducated believers.


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## Southern Presbyterian (Mar 19, 2008)

onemaster said:


> Do not abandon the prime directive (RPW). Logic clearly dictates that the commands of the one outweigh the felt needs of the many.



Indeed!


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## No Longer A Libertine (Mar 19, 2008)

I'd like to take this opportunity to commend you all for your shameless embracement of your dorkdom.

Perhaps commend is not the proper word...I'd like to take this opportunity to say you've embarrassed yourselves and puritan kind with this shameless display of dorkdom.


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## Grymir (Mar 19, 2008)

Can't you see we are doing an analogy in the tradition of Pilgrim's Progress??


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## Southern Presbyterian (Mar 19, 2008)

No Longer A Libertine said:


> ...shameless embracement of your dorkdom.



I'm afraid that I resemble that remark.


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## Grymir (Mar 19, 2008)

I think I've found some way to defend my church, I mean Ship while we go through emerging space. I'll just broadcast a picture of my Praise Band Leader - 



























So shameless, but even the emerging chuch would invoke the Prime Directive (RPW) if they saw this!!!


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## Grymir (Mar 19, 2008)

What?? Is the picture of my Praise Team Leader scaring y'all off??

I guess I found the cure for Emerging Space.


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## Grymir (Mar 19, 2008)

Captians log, stardate 200803.18

After being stranded out here for awhile, I've had to make many decisions.

I'm thinking of changing from "serving humanity just by showing up", to "The terror that flaps in the night"

I just don't think that DW puts the fear of God into Liberals the way Rush does. 


Also, we've promoted Kes because after a full day, She's scared everybody away. I think even the Borg would cringe. Or am I the only trekkie on PB and these references are lost?


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## Presbyterian Deacon (Mar 20, 2008)

Grymir said:


> Or am I the only trekkie on PB and these references are lost?






> Humor. It is a difficult concept -- Savik


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