# I Joined Sovereign Grace Singles



## sojourner (Jul 26, 2015)

I recently joined this site... but I guess they don't have a lot of members.
I really wanted to meet likewise minded Christian who is into Reformed teachings. In our church not many understand the Reformed faith even if our pastor teaches and preaches it. 

I'm thinking this is a desperate move?... is joining a dating site okay or not okay for you? 

Also what about persons like me who don't really have the time to socialize other than the net... I work from Mon to Fri. Sunday is church and ministry time for me. Saturday is my only free and rest day.

Do you believe that you should look for the one, or wait and sit still and do nothing>? And just be content in your situation just like Paul?


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## Logan (Jul 26, 2015)

My wife and I met on SGS and we do recommend it. I tried the "traditional" method for several years but like you, there are not many Reformed people in our area. I was very blessed to meet my wife online and find we had so much in common, including singing psalms. I don't think it is a desperate move at all, you are very clearly stating your intention (I would like to get married) and can get to know other people with that same intention.

That said, I found myself being very cautious. I "interviewed" my wife on her faith to make sure she understood and wasn't just saying she was a Christian, I wrote to her pastor, and to the cousin of someone I knew who knew her, and even wrote to the guy who had previously been writing to her for several months, to see what all their thoughts were. I repeatedly tried to be open and honest and made it clear that I would rather we discuss serious matters up front so that if there were any concerns, we could both recognize it quickly and before there was too much emotional involvement (though there is always some). In the end we've been wonderfully blessed in our marriage and are both glad we tried the site out.

I'm not sure you know who "the one" is. But God does. I had made a list (and my wife did too) of things we looked for in a spouse that we would not compromise on. Things as basic as "is a Christian". And there was also a list of things you'd like to have in a spouse but weren't critical. In the end, I found there were some wonderful attributes that my wife had that I wouldn't have even thought to ask for, and didn't know I needed. I do strongly believe that love is a conscious commitment, and not just a feeling. So be patient and don't compromise, but also be willing to let go of your idea of who "the one" is, and rely on God to provide you with the one He has prepared for you. That may be on SGS, it may not, but I think you are doing well to actively look instead of waiting for someone to drop into your life.


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## Miss Marple (Jul 26, 2015)

I heartly support your joining SGS.

I don't think it shows "discontent" to look for a mate. God Himself said "It is not good for man to be alone." And that was before the Fall! To look for a good husband is a simple acknowledgement of that truth.

I know a few are called to singleness, but they are very few.

Enjoy your search. I am certain you will find someone!


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## johnny (Jul 26, 2015)

I have deep sympathies for Christian women seeking Reformed Christian Men.

I perceive it would be much harder for women, (than the reverse situation)
Still, our God is a God of Miracles and orders these things according to his own good purposes,
So keep petitioning Him, and good luck in your search for Mr Right.


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## jambo (Jul 26, 2015)

I would just be very careful. It is easy for anyone to say anything on line.


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## bookslover (Jul 26, 2015)

I joined Sovereign Grace Singles several months ago, but I've sort of drifted away from it because there don't seem to be too many people there. The website seems sort of empty, if you know what I mean.

But, good luck to you, anyway!


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## sojourner (Jul 26, 2015)

Thank you for all your replies. Well, Im just trying it out. 
There are some not so good stories on the net like I heard a news about what seemed like a perfect guy Christian online turned out to be he's not in real person... yeah if there's good, there's bad..


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## timfost (Jul 26, 2015)

Since meeting someone online doesn't give you a full picture of the person, I think it is more important than ever to not only inquire into his doctrine but also His life. Even consider speaking with his pastor if the relationship looks like it could get serious.

I know this can get uncomfortable, but as you get to know a guy, at some point you should ask him if he looks our has looked at p0rnography. If so, when and how often. If something of the past, what has he done as a safeguard.

Unfortunately, the abuse of the doctrines of grace often times expresses itself in antinomianism, which is why life is such a vital topic, especially when it is an online relationship and your interaction does not easily provide the opportunity to _see_ the fruit of the Spirit. It's easy to look good on paper.


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## Andres (Jul 26, 2015)

I met my wife online, although not SGS. Been married 6+ years.


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## TrustGzus (Jul 27, 2015)

A friend of mine met his wife through SGS. I see nothing wrong with it. May God bless you in your search.


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## JoannaV (Jul 27, 2015)

Andres said:


> I met my wife online, although not SGS. Been married 6+ years.



Same! Well, replace "wife" with "husband", everything else is the same.


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## Shimei (Jul 27, 2015)

sojourner said:


> I recently joined this site... but I guess they don't have a lot of members.



I was the Webmaster for SGS, though I haven't been on the site for months. From what I understand another webmaster has been quite busy as she takes over the reigns. I'm sure they will improve upon the site soon enough (it is outdated). Just for FYI, Dean the owner travels frequently, and travels from here to there across the world to weddings of SGS members. I know quite a few people have met on that site and found that special someone.

Wish you the best, 
God bless,
Shimei


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## johnny (Jul 27, 2015)

JoannaV said:


> Andres said:
> 
> 
> > I met my wife online, although not SGS. Been married 6+ years.
> ...



Same again again, But replace "husband" back to "wife" Been married 12+ gets better every day


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## sojourner (Jul 27, 2015)

Hello *Shimei*... the members list there is I guess a little less than ten from what I saw. Is that list correct or not? 

Thanks *Joe*

Thanks everyone for the advice


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## Shimei (Jul 27, 2015)

sojourner said:


> Hello *Shimei*... the members list there is I guess a little less than ten from what I saw. Is that list correct or not?
> 
> Thanks *Joe*
> 
> Thanks everyone for the advice



Hi sojourner, 

There were well over 3000+ members some months ago. 

God bless,
William


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## lynnie (Jul 27, 2015)

I looked at their website out of curiosity thinking of someone else (I am happily married for 36 years). I noticed that the featured sermons are by Mark Driscoll. Ugh. If I were you I'd be very careful about marrying a man who looks up to Driscoll. In fact I would run the other way. Perhaps they draw many people from other churches, as well as Driscoll's old fan club, but I wanted to make you aware of it.


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## sojourner (Jul 28, 2015)

Hi Lynnie,

Thanks for the tip. Im not a Driscoll fan... though some of my young professionals group at the church were listener's of Driscoll. 
I'm more of a Piper and Sproul listener.


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## timmopussycat (Jul 28, 2015)

timfost said:


> Since meeting someone online doesn't give you a full picture of the person, I think it is more important than ever to not only inquire into his doctrine but also His life. Even consider speaking with his pastor if the relationship looks like it could get serious.
> 
> I know this can get uncomfortable, but as you get to know a guy, at some point you should ask him if he looks our has looked at p0rnography. If so, when and how often. If something of the past, what has he done as a safeguard.
> 
> Unfortunately, the abuse of the doctrines of grace often times expresses itself in antinomianism, which is why life is such a vital topic, especially when it is an online relationship and your interaction does not easily provide the opportunity to _see_ the fruit of the Spirit. It's easy to look good on paper.



I second all the above.


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