# Best and worst church marquees!!!



## Pergamum (Aug 11, 2008)

Bring out all those best and worst church Marquees. Pics preferable.





My pet peeves:

"Eternity - Smoking or Non-Smoking." Oooh, that's gonna bring folks in.

"We love Hurting People." Is also a favorite church sign I saw.


----------



## VirginiaHuguenot (Aug 11, 2008)

http://www.puritanboard.com/f35/qod-6126/


----------



## Virginia Marine (Aug 11, 2008)

We have a church in town that built a huge coffee shop on the front of it's sanctuary. The sign out front doesn't even advertise a church, it reads:
"Rubicon Cafe"
Sad...


----------



## Kim G (Aug 11, 2008)

The church I grew up in did the "smoking or non-smoking" kinds of messages. I was always so embarrassed. Now I can't remember any of the others.

We have a PCUSA church just down the road who always had funny messages. The latest message said, "Ouch, tearing down so God can build up." We didn't get it until they started tearing down the front of the building a few weeks later. It looks like they're extending the building a whole 10 feet!


----------



## Richard King (Aug 11, 2008)

I went through a little Texas town and saw one that wasn't too bad...

God doesn't choose qualified people
He qualifies those who are chosen.


----------



## queenknitter (Aug 11, 2008)

You all know about this church sign generator, yes? I've had a little bit too much fun with it:


----------



## caddy (Aug 11, 2008)

No Pics, but just a couple of weeks ago we passed this one:

* Get er' Done Jesus!*


----------



## caddy (Aug 11, 2008)

Richard King said:


> I went through a little Texas town and saw one that wasn't too bad...
> 
> God doesn't choose qualified people
> He qualifies those who are chosen.


 
I like it...


----------



## Reformingstudent (Aug 11, 2008)

queenknitter said:


> You all know about this church sign generator, yes? I've had a little bit too much fun with it:


----------



## Marrow Man (Aug 11, 2008)

Somebody (not a member) handed me a whole book of these a few weeks ago, suggesting that I might get a few ideas to put on the church sign. 

The only thing I put on the church sign, btw, is the sermon text/topic for the week.

I did see this one once, and thought it to be a classic:

"Jesus is coming soon. Just read your Bible and the newspaper."

Well, that's always helpful...


----------



## rescuedbyLove (Aug 11, 2008)




----------



## rescuedbyLove (Aug 11, 2008)

You're right, Camille--this _is_ fun!


----------



## DeoOpt (Aug 11, 2008)

I saw one the other day which read "It may be HOT in HELL but we have airconditioning"


----------



## timmopussycat (Aug 11, 2008)

Slightly off topic but I can't resist. I wish I had a picture to prove it, but I used to live down the street from a church which was a result of a merger. First time I went by, I was riding my bicycle and nearly had an accident looking back at the marquee because I couldn't believe what I thought I saw. 

I guess the original churches were the Bond St. Chuch and the St. James Church. So what do you think they called the merged congregation? 





Yup.









St. James - Bond United Church

Have a nice day.


----------



## Marrow Man (Aug 11, 2008)

timmopussycat said:


> St. James - Bond United Church



That sort of reminds me of the inevitable difficulties the Free Presbyterian Church's have. For example, the church that Alan Cairns pastors in Greenville, SC is called "Faith Free Presbyterian Church."

At least there's no hyphen, though.


----------



## Marrow Man (Aug 11, 2008)

I'm not sure this counts since it was technically a banner, not a church sign.
I once blogged about this here and asked if anyone could explain the three services to me. I still don't understand.


----------



## Zenas (Aug 11, 2008)

Last Easter, there was a church in town that read:

"And Jesus said, 'Bring me that ass"

It made Facebook and has since spread.


----------



## D. Paul (Aug 11, 2008)

You should not have gotten me started on this. It's a pet peeve. These have all been local and personally witnessed:

"My life was going to waste but Jesus re-cycled me."

"A mother's godly example is worth a thousand sermons from the pulpit."

"A smile is a curve that sets alot of things straight."

"Stop, drop and roll won't work in Hell."

"If Christians would praise God more, the world would doubt him less."

"Will the Road you're on get you to My place? - God"

"Prevent Sin-burn. Use Son-screen."

"There's an open invitation to the Heavenly Banquet but we must RSVP."

"Prayer is the best wireless connection."

"Belief is all you need."


----------



## Pergamum (Aug 11, 2008)

"Prevent Sin-burn. Use Son-screen." HAAAaaaa!!!!!!!


----------



## Mindaboo (Aug 11, 2008)

On a billboard near here a few years ago:

"That Thing I Said About Sin and Repentance?.... I Wasn't Kidding - God"


----------



## D. Paul (Aug 11, 2008)

Some more:

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"Faith is saying “yes” to God"

"Try God. If you don’t like him the devil will take you back."

"The world is a puzzle and Jesus is the missing “peace”."

"Visit with God. He misses you." I thought, "Awww, poor, lonesome God..."

"GracePoint...The point is to feel better." This one was a radio Ad for the Church called GracePoint.


----------



## Zenas (Aug 12, 2008)

I was nauseated. Thank you.


----------



## D. Paul (Aug 12, 2008)

"A mother's godly example is worth a thousand sermons from the pulpit."

When I saw this one, I wanted to walk into the church directly to the Pastor and tell him to find a new job.

That's what is thought of preaching today. And we wonder why we're in the shape we're in.


----------



## wturri78 (Aug 12, 2008)

Funny signs:

"We're a for-prophet organization."
"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts."

Nauseating (theologically):
"God dwells wherever people decide to let him in."

That last one was on a _Lutheran _church!


----------



## JohnGill (Aug 12, 2008)

At my old IFBka church:

Nuke Saddam til he glows, then shoot him in the dark.

Not a sign, but a bumper sticker I made when attending there and was pre-trib:

Jesus - First he came to save you, soon he's coming to slay you.


----------



## skellam (Aug 13, 2008)

More bad church signs than you can shake a stick at ---> crummychurchsigns.


----------



## Backwoods Presbyterian (Aug 13, 2008)

Saw a great one last night at a Methodist Church:

"If Satan knocks, Let Jesus answer"


----------



## puritan lad (Aug 13, 2008)

Some great ones on this poll.

Covenant Theology: Poll: Worst Christian Bumper Sticker


----------



## turmeric (Aug 13, 2008)

Haven't seen, but heard this one;
Jesus is coming, look busy!


----------



## Marrow Man (Aug 13, 2008)

puritan lad said:


> Some great ones on this poll.
> 
> Covenant Theology: Poll: Worst Christian Bumper Sticker



Perhaps the most "unreformed" bumper sticker of all time: "God helps those who help themselves."


----------



## Kevin (Aug 13, 2008)

I saw one tonight that said "Youngest Pastor in town!"

Seemed like an odd endorsement to me.


----------



## Marrow Man (Aug 13, 2008)

I always put the title and text of my sermons on the church sign. When I was preaching through Galatians, I put "WWAD?" without any explanation.

Of course, in my sermon (and in the bulletin) I explained it: "What Would Abraham Do?"


----------



## JohnGill (Aug 13, 2008)

Marrow Man said:


> I always put the title and text of my sermons on the church sign. When I was preaching through Galatians, I put "WWAD?" without any explanation.
> 
> Of course, in my sermon (and in the bulletin) I explained it: "What Would Abraham Do?"



And to everyone else who did not come to church,

WWAD?!? What Would Allah Do?!?

Now if it had been WWBD

That would be easy to figure out since everyone knows it means:


----------



## Ivan (Aug 13, 2008)

I made up this sign as a possibility for our new location....


----------



## Southern Presbyterian (Aug 13, 2008)

Saw this on last week as I was making sales calls:

"Jesus died to secure 'MYSPACE' in heaven."


----------



## Marrow Man (Aug 13, 2008)

JohnGill said:


> And to everyone else who did not come to church,
> 
> WWAD?!? What Would Allah Do?!?





The best laid plans of mice and men...

And we do actually have an Islamic meeting house just up the street...

Well, at least I did include Galatians 3:6-9 on the sign...


----------



## yesTULIP (Aug 14, 2008)

Marrow Man, Hi, this is my first post!!! I'm very excited to find this site...

The three signs
Traditional service - most likely means they sing hymns
Decaf service - would have contemporary worship
Caffeinated service - The worship would be more like a hard rock concert.

That's my take on it.....


----------



## Presbyterian Deacon (Aug 16, 2008)

Just saw this on the WEB


----------



## Honor (Aug 16, 2008)

My husband and I saw one a few weeks back and could not make heads or tails of it it read "We're blessed because we have bills" maybe ya'll get it but I was just confused....
the one that upset me the most was one that was at the end of our street that they had up for mothers day it read "Oh, my goodness! I'm a Mother!" I felt sick every time I drove past it.


----------



## Southern Presbyterian (Aug 16, 2008)

Presbyterian Deacon said:


> Just saw this on the WEB


----------



## SueS (Aug 16, 2008)

A while back one of the local churches had a sign out front that read:

"Healing service cancelled, pastor is sick"


----------



## caoclan (Aug 16, 2008)

GODISNOWHERE -How do you see it? (LCMS Church)


----------



## Southern Presbyterian (Aug 16, 2008)

SueS said:


> A while back one of the local churches had a sign out front that read:
> 
> "Healing service cancelled, pastor is sick"


----------



## Ivan (Aug 16, 2008)

Southern Presbyterian said:


> SueS said:
> 
> 
> > A while back one of the local churches had a sign out front that read:
> ...



That one is so......good!....and funny!


----------



## Presbyterian Deacon (Aug 16, 2008)

Southern Presbyterian said:


> SueS said:
> 
> 
> > A while back one of the local churches had a sign out front that read:
> ...



This is a bit  but 
 that post reminds me of the question we used to ask back in the late 70's when Oral Roberts was trying to raise money for a new school.:

Why does a faith healer need a medical school anyway?


----------



## rjlynam (Aug 17, 2008)

I saw one at a local charismatic church that read:

"Time is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer we get to the end, the faster it goes"


I thought, "no posties there" .


----------



## mvdm (Aug 17, 2008)

On a local CRC church sign:

_"God has a big eraser"._


----------

