# A Christian fathers duty of getting custody?



## john_Mark (Aug 12, 2004)

This question comes from a divorced father having the opportunity get custody of his child due to the mother being deemed unfit and basically abandoning the child. I am wondering if it is or should be the Christian fathers duty/responsibility to do everything he can to get custody of his child? How should we look at a scenario like this? Would or should the grandparents be a better or atleast a viable option to take custody of said child?


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## Scot (Aug 12, 2004)

I don't know the whole situation but I would say that it's the father's responsibility to make every possible attempt to reconcile with the mother and become a family again (unless one or both parties are remarried).

If it were me, I'd feel like I had the responsibility of raising the child.


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## john_Mark (Aug 12, 2004)

*For this situation*

Spousal reconciliation is out of the question. I am really trying to understand what Biblical mandates may be applied in light of my original post.


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## a mere housewife (Aug 12, 2004)

Mark, I think the fact that the child was given by God to the father in question would give him a responsibility to the child that is greater than the responsibility of the grandparents.

Children are a heritage from the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward-- He does not gift at random.

God has said that if a man does not provide for his family, he is worse than an infidel. I don't mean to imply that everyone who feels it in the best interest of their child to give them up is worse than an infidel, but it does show the huge priority of responsibility God places on a man taking care of those given to him. His whole profession of religion is bound up in how seriously he takes this-- how seriously he undertakes it. Also, it is significant to me that God uses the father/mother/child relationship to demonstrate the degree of His faithfulness to us: even if the unthinkable should happen, and my father and mother should forsake me, the Lord will take me up-- the force of the impossibility of God's forsaking us would be lost if forsaking were not unnatural to the relationship of parents and children.

Perhaps the father could move near to (even in with, if necessary) the grandparents, if he feels that the child should have more mothering or stability than he alone can provide...?


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## john_Mark (Aug 13, 2004)

*Thanks, good thoughts*

Now, if said father is putting a girlfriend first rather than doing everything he can to get his daughter how should he be approach or should he be by his brethren? Especially, if he's not a member of a church and only attends one regularly? I am trying to understand the most biblically proper way to handle a situation like this. 

I suppose one way to divest oneself atleast partially is to not lend any financial support to said person so they will not irresponsibly spend more on their girlfriend while not seeking to gain custody of their child. 

I doubt the father would move close to the child who is a couple states away now due to relationships keeping him where he is.

This is a very frustrating situation and I appreciate the input.


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