# Mentors



## WrittenFromUtopia (Nov 26, 2006)

How important is it for a young, single man "out on his own" to have a mentor? Should the mentor be an ordained gospel minister, or is that not absolutely necessary or even preferred? What should one's relationship with a mentor consist of?


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## Scott Bushey (Nov 26, 2006)

WrittenFromUtopia said:


> How important is it for a young, single man "out on his own" to have a mentor? Should the mentor be an ordained gospel minister, or is that not absolutely necessary or even preferred? What should one's relationship with a mentor consist of?



I believe mentorship is biblical. Barnabas initially mentored Paul. Paul mentored Tim. Accountability partners are somewhat mentoring. The relationship should be mutual respect for each other. Optimally, it should be someone wiser.


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## Semper Fidelis (Nov 26, 2006)

WrittenFromUtopia said:


> How important is it for a young, single man "out on his own" to have a mentor? Should the mentor be an ordained gospel minister, or is that not absolutely necessary or even preferred? What should one's relationship with a mentor consist of?



Every Christian should be in a Church with a Biblical polity - meaning Elders that he is spiritually submissive to. I also believe, firmly, that Biblical Eldership requires that they know their congregation and must spend time in visitation and fellowship.

I'm not a big fan of the modern notion in many Churches of what they term "discipleship" or "accountability groups". I don't believe there is any place in the Church for accountability outside of God-ordained means. Often times it is the blind leading the blind. I don't have a problem with Bible Studies but they ought to be done under the oversight of a Church. Many people foolishly do not heed James when he warns that not all should be teachers. Many will be judged for their folly of presumption.

That said, I think there is utility in mentorship in other vocational areas as well. If you're apprenticing to be a watchmaker then don't study under your Pastor unless he's a watchmaker.


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## satz (Nov 26, 2006)

> I don't believe there is any place in the Church for accountability outside of God-ordained means. Often times it is the blind leading the blind.



Hi Rich,

Are you saying that accounatability can only be to ordained elders? Or that there is no room for mentoring between a mature but unordained christian and a younger one? Just trying to understand. 

I would agree with you that people need to not rush into leadership or push others into spiritual leadership in church. It is better to have a few biblically qualified leaders than many unqualified ones.


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## Semper Fidelis (Nov 26, 2006)

satz said:


> Hi Rich,
> 
> Are you saying that accounatability can only be to ordained elders? Or that there is no room for mentoring between a mature but unordained christian and a younger one? Just trying to understand.
> 
> I would agree with you that people need to not rush into leadership or push others into spiritual leadership in church. It is better to have a few biblically qualified leaders than many unqualified ones.



What I mean is that it's OK for accountability to occur within Churches but it needs to be done with Elder _oversight_. I shouldn't think that I just have the right to, willy nilly, go up to a young guy in the Church and tell him he should look to me for direction in his Christian walk. I can offer mature advice to a brother but have not the authority that an Elder has.


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## WrittenFromUtopia (Nov 26, 2006)

SemperFideles said:


> What I mean is that it's OK for accountability to occur within Churches but it needs to be done with Elder _oversight_. I shouldn't think that I just have the right to, willy nilly, go up to a young guy in the Church and tell him he should look to me for direction in his Christian walk. I can offer mature advice to a brother but have not the authority that an Elder has.



I'm inclined to agree with you. I'm glad that our Church's home bible study is led by an Elder, and not a lay-person.


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## Herald (Nov 26, 2006)

WrittenFromUtopia said:


> How important is it for a young, single man "out on his own" to have a mentor? Should the mentor be an ordained gospel minister, or is that not absolutely necessary or even preferred? What should one's relationship with a mentor consist of?



Gabe - "mentor" is a buzzword that has regained some of the luster from a long and storied past. A mentor has a myriad of pseudonyms. Coach, big brother, spiritual father etc. If truth be told, mentors have been around for as long as there as been civilization. A New Testament example of the mentor-learner relationship is Paul and Timothy. 

Now, your question is, "...how important is it for a young, single man...to have a mentor?" Gabe, lets broaden your question. How important is it for _each of us_ to have a mentor? I believe the answer transcends the question. It is not whether we _should_ have a mentor, it is essential that we do have a mentor. Up until the day we are having dirt shoveled on us, we need to have someone we can turn to in order to stay on the straight and narrow regarding our faith and help keep our life in balance. Mentors come in all shapes and sizes. I won't regale you with the mentors that have come into my life. There have been many and each one of them has played a critical role in shaping me. I still have them today. I need them. I am a mentor myself to a few men. You notice I am talking in the plural sense? That is because most of us will have (should have) more than one mentor. Some mentors will last a lifetime, others will be with us for a season. regardless, they are valuable and necessary.

Mentors....don't leave home without one!

Bill


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## Herald (Nov 26, 2006)

SemperFideles wrote:



> What I mean is that it's OK for accountability to occur within Churches but it needs to be done with Elder oversight.



Rich, I think I know what you mean by this comment. Elders bear responsibility for feeding and protecting the flock. Being an elder, if I were to know of a close friendship developing between an immature believer and someone who is suspect doctrinally, I will certainly find a way of making sure the immature believer is not taught strange doctrines. Each and every elder should have his antennas up for that sort of thing. On the basis that both individuals are sound doctrinally, I see no need for direct involvement on behalf of the elders. Many a mentorship starts with a friendship and grows from there. 

I think you and I are on the same page...right?


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## Semper Fidelis (Nov 26, 2006)

I think so Bill. I'm thinking of some people in my own Church right now that want to form accountability groups. The problem is that you can have a bunch of immature people accountable to one another with no real growth. It's common in very large Churches to form these small groups which may not be bad in and of themselves but it it's immature folk sitting around teaching each other immature things then it doesn't do much good.

Even though I believe I am equipped to counsel a young man if he asks for my advice on subjects I would never presume to place myself in a position of spiritual authority - sort of a psuedo-Elder with no ordination. I believe part of the reason that Elders are marked out is that you can really mess somebody up with bad counsel and Elders should be the type that not only guard against that but also are the place to turn for such things.


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## Herald (Nov 26, 2006)

SemperFideles said:


> I think so Bill. I'm thinking of some people in my own Church right now that want to form accountability groups. The problem is that you can have a bunch of immature people accountable to one another with no real growth. It's common in very large Churches to form these small groups which may not be bad in and of themselves but it it's immature folk sitting around teaching each other immature things then it doesn't do much good.
> 
> Even though I believe I am equipped to counsel a young man if he asks for my advice on subjects I would never presume to place myself in a position of spiritual authority - sort of a psuedo-Elder with no ordination. I believe part of the reason that Elders are marked out is that you can really mess somebody up with bad counsel and Elders should be the type that not only guard against that but also are the place to turn for such things.



Rich - granted. But not all mentorships are for the purpose of imparting doctrinal truth. Mentorships are just as valuable in establishing friendships or meeting emotional needs. Elders can be quite busy and may not be able to provide that one-on-one contact that a friend can do. I agree with everything you said. I'm just enlarging the role of a mentor somewhat beyond the spiritual dimension.


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## Semper Fidelis (Nov 26, 2006)

BaptistInCrisis said:


> Rich - granted. But not all mentorships are for the purpose of imparting doctrinal truth. Mentorships are just as valuable in establishing friendships or meeting emotional needs. Elders can be quite busy and may not be able to provide that one-on-one contact that a friend can do. I agree with everything you said. I'm just enlarging the role of a mentor somewhat beyond the spiritual dimension.



Oh sure. I even noted that in my initial post. I have no problem giving a young man advice about a whole host of subjects. I'm not going to go the Elders of a Marine that works for me to ask permission to counsel him on his performance.


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## 3John2 (Dec 11, 2006)

I think it's important. When I first got started in my walk I had a "mentor" discipling me. Here is the catch though. NOW I realize he was wrong doctrinally on many issues. He was NOT Reformed but WOF/Charismatic. HOWEVER he lived & continues to live a VERY holy sanctified life & has a hunger for God that is hard to live up to. I DO admire that. God used him tremendously in my life especially to instill holy living & study of the Word. On an online board there was a discussion on eschatology & I asked a question (It was a Dake forum) & a gentleman replied to me & I've been thanking God ever since. He was Reformed. He is the instrument God used to lead me to this point. His name was Chuck Lowery. He was about to become a pastor of a certain church (he was kicked out of another because of his Reformed beliefs) but he turned me on to Sproul, Piper, Grudem etc. Because of him I grew quite a bit but unfortunately we have lost touch. It was great to have someone I could e mail & he could e mail me & answer questions & provide QUITE a bit of reading material for me. We would even occasionally speak on the phone so that was great. He didn't mind taking the time because I was hungry. When we last spoke I had not fully embraced ALL of the tenets of the REformed view & I wish he could see me now. 
Currently my pastor is my mentor. He does much the same with me. It's great to have him actually take time off every week to meet with me. 
But going back to the point I understand how serious that is in having a lay-person mentor someone. Like my pastor said "Most pastors have the knowledge of a lay-person." referring to NON Reformed pastors. My friend the charismatic was a licensed minister but now I can see that. 
We are still great friends, the closest really & he agrees on many points with me but not on same major ones. He is still attendig a WOF Hagin church.


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