# Tell Me Why I Should Not Homeschool



## bwsmith

That’s the question I asked when I considered homeschooling almost 2 decades ago, and the answer is still what I tell moms who wonder if homeschooling might be an alternative in their homes. “Don’t yank the kids out of school unless you are ready to reconstruct your day-timer!” 

If you are intrigued with homeschooling but intimidated about signing on for 24/7 of kids, clutter, and craziness, you should think carefully – 

First: What are you reading in Scripture that is stirring you up to homeschool? 
Got a verse that just constricts your heart with conviction? I didn't — but I had this uneasy feeling that my time with our kids was spinning out of my hands — that others got to enjoy their company — and I was "worried" about academics.

Not very spiritual, huh? However, I began asking those women, who had formerly been the butt of some of my jokes, why I should not homeschool — Don't tell me why I should; tell me I shouldn't. To a woman, about ten women said: "Don't homeschool if you are unwilling to lose control of your time." 

Now I gotta tell you — I had just gotten my youngest into full-time school and I was getting "a LIFE." — ladies' Bible studies, ladies' lunches, uncomplicated strolls through the grocery store aisles — even one or two uninterrupted conversations with my husband. I also have to confess: I am not “domestic!” I am not nuts about the confusion that comes with children. I don't play games, dress-up or like little league. I battle self-centeredness and an overwhelming urge for my own space, and peace. "Mother of the year" is never a title someone would associate with my name!

But the dearness of these little ones that God gave me seemed to be evaporating into the Christian School schedule! In 1984 – yes, I think that was the year I first heard about homeschooling – I thought those women were . . . well, nuts. Now, I never looked at September as my month of liberation – quite the contrary – I dreaded it – I like summers and their craziness – so when my son started off for second grade that crisp fall morning, a sharp pain went through mu heart – he was not coming back. About that time, my friend Diane Tecklenberg said she’s taken her kids out – I did not restrain my tongue – but I went with her to hear Gary Cox – 

My eldest child was and is a handful — intellectually, spiritually. Then I found out my precious youngest was equipped with unique challenges: totally different — but just as dangerous! And those dear saints at the school were trying to teach dozens just like them. ThenN I read in some hs guru's treatise on the joys of homeschooling — all of which attracted me, like a moth is to a flame — that on the average, our children experience about 1 ½ minutes of the classroom teacher's personal attention. 1 ½ minutes?

Even I could give the kids more than that! 

But I prayed — my husband prayed — for almost six months and God only kept fanning the desire to be with them — to be with them — to be with these precious children. And no, I did not have a clue what I was doing. (I thought I did but I didn't. This is a true statement for 99 & 99 /100% of my life, too!) 

The first couple of years were tough. I will spare you the gory details. But I will tell you what my friend — an older sister in Christ, though she was younger than I — said when I wondered if I should chuck homeschooling. She reminded me that I would always be responsible for the training of their characters, no matter where I placed my children — always. That is what I would give an account of before Christ: not algebra or fine arts — but did I tell them what I know about God? 

So — where should you keep or bring your kids to learn reading, writing and arithmetic? Maybe figure out where you can best train them to fear and serve the Lord — for that is what God will ask you what you did. Homeschooling is not necessarily the only place to do this — so, NO guilt trips if God has called you to choose another education tool, like traditional schooling! 

Wrestle with how you are doing what God requires of parents. Where's the best place to do that? *IF* HE calls you home to educate your kids in the ABC's — He will redeem your time, strengthen your marriage — and even tell you it is time to log -off this great board because you got stuff to do! 

Now consider praying through this and tell God you — and your husband — are willing to do whatever HE tells you. Then get busy with the very next thing on your to-do list! 

Another old hand at homeschooling – the proud mother of ten children, and asked her for her advice, since she is STILL in the thick of the battle. She reflected a moment and said:
_1.	Figure out what your goals are for your family – that means talking with your husband – not nagging him. If he says, “No. “.. Do not badger him until he gives up in desperation. You never want he principal of your homeschool to say I told you so when problems creep up!
2.	Pay attention to your child – prayer journal . . . Ask God to show you HOW you are to train the child. 
_​
In conclusion, then:
Review, remember and test all education tools by Deuteronomy 6:1-9. 

Whatever plan you choose – do not jump around – every plan will have its downside – there is NO easy way to train children – if there were Dr, Dobson et al would not be so successful.


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## KMK

If you don't send your children to public school, where do you expect them to learn the 'F' word and evolution?


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## LadyFlynt

Good article, BW


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## No Longer A Libertine

Junior high stinks, elementry is fun, high school lets you get the unregenerate immaturity out of your system and then look back in college and see what you were saved from.

College is the time to step out of your parents shadow for better or worse and be a believing adult.

Post college is real world hard.

All part of a methodical sanctification.


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## LadyFlynt

Travis, or just encourage more "unregenerate immaturity".


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## No Longer A Libertine

LadyFlynt said:


> Travis, or just encourage more "unregenerate immaturity".


That will depend on grace to restrain one way or another.


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## LadyFlynt

Regardless, WE are called to guard and guide our children...to train them up.


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## No Longer A Libertine

LadyFlynt said:


> Regardless, WE are called to guard and guide our children...to train them up.


Agreed but we are also to be in the world and not of the world.

Friendships with heathens was the means of grace God called me to Him.


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## LadyFlynt

There is a difference between being friends with heathens and sending your children to be train and raised by them...


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## bwsmith

Actually the church youth group -- as well as the local homeschool group, introduced my kids to some _amazing_ things -- I am sad to say. 

However the most painful lessons they learned was from me.
My daughter even wrote a poem:

I love my mom and dad so much,
the are so good to me.
But when my mommy loses it . . .
She's quite a sight to see! 
Holly Smith, age 8


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## No Longer A Libertine

LadyFlynt said:


> There is a difference between being friends with heathens and sending your children to be train and raised by them...


Do you intend to send your children to college?

Is not one of the most sharpening of tools being able to understand how the opposition thinks and engaging their arguments at their very foundations?

A heathen can teach me English, math, art, physics, biology, astronomy, secular histories, language, business, mechanics, administration, recipes, athletics, loyalty, government, military tactics.

I can approach my world view from a different lense than he or she but these basics of the world we live in could be afforded to me and by grace I could admire their benefits within creation even though the heathen does not.

We are surrounded by a corrupt culture, that fact that it slips into aspects of education is but a symptom of the greater disease.

We may be pilgrims in an unholy land but we are called to be here.


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## MrMerlin777

KMK said:


> If you don't send your children to public school, where do you expect them to learn the 'F' word and evolution?



In some of the "Christian" schools I've seen they'd still be able to learn those things just fine.  Wait, that's not really funny is it.


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## bwsmith

My husband's view of Homeschooling:
HAND IN HAND, by Doug Smith

July 21, 2000

An image I remember vividly is walking down a tree-shaded trail at mid-morning one school day, hand in hand with my fourteen year old son. I knew that holding the hand of an almost-grown child was a unique privilege. I enjoyed every second of it. 

Not only is that walk a valued memory, but it represents something God accomplished in my family while we were homeschooling. 

Many times before and after the walk my son and I stood nose to nose in hot disputes. Yet God blessed us with a loving companionable relationship. How did this come about? 

I believe the Lord taught our family through Scripture to reconcile disputes quickly and not let them linger. This accounts for the family relationships that exist today when my son is 23 (now almost 30!) and my daughter 19 years of age. (She is now almost 26 & a wife and mom herself) (I won’t comment on my age or my wife’s.)

Scripture says "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27) God taught us to try obeying this injunction. If we had not tried, the continual close contacts of homeschooling would have become flashpoints for the release of anger and would have destroyed relationships as well as our “school.” This was especially true because I maintained a business in the home.

Christ also says "if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” (Matthew 18:15) When we obeyed this command, and listened to each other, we gained stronger, purer family relationships. 

The frustration and joy of living and learning together never stopped, but learning to reconcile reduced the sting of frustration and heightened the joy of our family life. I believe that learning reconciliation at home also has made it easier to maintain good relationships with people outside the home.

Of course God trained our minds while He trained our characters. The children grew skilled in academics. Both have gone to college and one has graduated so far. Barbara and I also learned a lot. For example, I read the book Uncle Tom’s Cabin (by Harriet Beecher Stowe) and the pre-civil war Dred Scott decision of the U.S. Supreme Court (the decision which declared African Americans to be less than fully human). I read them so I could discuss them with a group of homeschoolers. I might never have read either of these foundational American writings if we had not taught our children at home. 

Still, I believe the main thing we learned is that God knows what He is talking about in the Bible. Scripture teaches accurately what God is like, what man is like, and how to live life with Christ as a companion and guide. Much education today does not place much value on a true understanding of God and man, and yet what good is education without it?

Let me also say something about my daughter. It has been a tradition for my daughter and me to watch fireworks together on July Fourth at the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis. When the family moved out of Annapolis to our current home in a northern suburb, we missed a few years of fireworks. This year my daughter and I resumed the tradition. It happened this way. 

Two young men invited her to watch fireworks with them this July Fourth. I would have expected her to snap this up. She did, but she answered that she and her Daddy always watched fireworks together, and they were welcome to join us. The four of us went together and had a great time. 

I know my daughter’s priorities will change when God brings her the man of His choice for a husband, should He so choose. But I can live with that. What God has already done in our family while we homeschooled, assures me that even better things are coming.


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## bwsmith

Thanks I am still trying to figure the age and stage of many posters. nt


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## kvanlaan

> Do you intend to send your children to college?
> 
> Is not one of the most sharpening of tools being able to understand how the opposition thinks and engaging their arguments at their very foundations?
> 
> A heathen can teach me English, math, art, physics, biology, astronomy, secular histories, language, business, mechanics, administration, recipes, athletics, loyalty, government, military tactics.
> 
> I can approach my world view from a different lense than he or she but these basics of the world we live in could be afforded to me and by grace I could admire their benefits within creation even though the heathen does not.
> 
> We are surrounded by a corrupt culture, that fact that it slips into aspects of education is but a symptom of the greater disease.
> 
> We may be pilgrims in an unholy land but we are called to be here.



Travis, I understand your intent, but I don't follow the logic all the way through. I would assume that by the time a child is ready for university, he/she is mature in the faith. If they're not, they don't go. Gain a degree and lose your soul? It's just not worth it.

Little kids are not, in my opinion, up to sharpening iron on iron for the most part (there may be exceptions, but I don't see it as a general rule). In school, they are usually in the position of being in subjection to an adult (who they've been taught at home to respect) and that adult, in public schools today, may be telling them why "alternative" lifestyles are just that, an alternative, and not wrong. They will indoctrinate my child into the new animism of environmentalism, from Gaia theory to why some people injure others to save whales and chimps and why that is just a relative value, and can't be considered completely wrong. Etc, etc, etc.

They've taken 8 hours of my child's 12 hour day and given me just 4 to unlearn all of these things. Not to mention peer pressure, drugs, premarital sex, and on and on and on _ad infinitum_.

For us, homeschooling is a hill we'll die on. If we were to move to Canada from China and Canada outlaws homeschooling, we would leave the country. The only career path that matters to me is that my children are raised in the fear of the Lord and go on to lead godly families. That is best accomplished (if my wife and I are responsible) by training them ourselves, in my opinion. This is not to level condemnation on others that do send children to public school, but it is something of which we've been convicted, and don't dare shrug off.


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## No Longer A Libertine

kvanlaan said:


> Travis, I understand your intent, but I don't follow the logic all the way through. I would assume that by the time a child is ready for university, he/she is mature in the faith. If they're not, they don't go. Gain a degree and lose your soul? It's just not worth it.
> 
> Little kids are not, in my opinion, up to sharpening iron on iron for the most part (there may be exceptions, but I don't see it as a general rule). In school, they are usually in the position of being in subjection to an adult (who they've been taught at home to respect) and that adult, in public schools today, may be telling them why "alternative" lifestyles are just that, an alternative, and not wrong. They will indoctrinate my child into the new animism of environmentalism, from Gaia theory to why some people injure others to save whales and chimps and why that is just a relative value, and can't be considered completely wrong. Etc, etc, etc.
> 
> They've taken 8 hours of my child's 12 hour day and given me just 4 to unlearn all of these things. Not to mention peer pressure, drugs, premarital sex, and on and on and on _ad infinitum_.
> 
> For us, homeschooling is a hill we'll die on. If we were to move to Canada from China and Canada outlaws homeschooling, we would leave the country. The only career path that matters to me is that my children are raised in the fear of the Lord and go on to lead godly families. That is best accomplished (if my wife and I are responsible) by training them ourselves, in my opinion. This is not to level condemnation on others that do send children to public school, but it is something of which we've been convicted, and don't dare shrug off.


Indoctrinated only if they have not been advised on what is truthful before hand or at least discussed with at home. Age has nothing to do with spiritual maturity and you can't shield the world away from the child forever.

I'm not against home schooling but the child is going to have to understand what the world believes and thinks and pressures itself into eventually.

Earning a degree is going to take away someone's soul? You give institutions far too much credit and power.

It is God who regenerates, sanctifies and perseveres.

If your child comes home with such objectionable teachings you have reason to confront them and the school and remove the student if need be but the wickedness of the world is not going lto eave us alone because we quit going to public schools and state universities.


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## Davidius

No Longer A Libertine said:


> Earning a degree is going to take away someone's soul? You give institutions far too much credit and power.
> 
> It is God who regenerates, sanctifies and perseveres.



Does God work through means or do people just magically apostatize?


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## No Longer A Libertine

CarolinaCalvinist said:


> Does God work through means or do people just magically apostatize?


Does God have his people in every tribe and every nation doing His will? Are Christians not at university? Do organizations such as RUF not attempt outreach? Does God's means not include putting people in situations to meet others?


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## Davidius

No Longer A Libertine said:


> Does God have his people in every tribe and every nation doing His will? Are Christians not at university? Do organizations such as RUF not attempt outreach? Does God's means not include putting people in situations to meet others?



Sorry, I didn't mean to include the part about universities in my quote of your post. That was supposed to be more about younger children. But really, do you think the character of the school has absolutely _no effect_? You mentioned pulling kids out at some point earlier. At what point would you pull your kids out?


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## No Longer A Libertine

CarolinaCalvinist said:


> Sorry, I didn't mean to include the part about universities in my quote of your post. That was supposed to be more about younger children. But really, do you think the character of the school has absolutely _no effect_? You mentioned pulling kids out at some point earlier. At what point would you pull your kids out?


In such an instance God gives us our parently stewards, if they belong to Him they teach us Biblical wisdom, if we are elect it takes root.

God at times regenerates in the womb, lucky devils they are.


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## Davidius

No Longer A Libertine said:


> In such an instance God gives us our parently stewards, if they belong to Him they teach us Biblical wisdom, if we are elect it takes root.
> 
> God at times regenerates in the womb, lucky devils they are.



It seems harder for the parents to have a real close relationship and teach their children in the way you're describing if the children are gone for 8 hours/day at school, then have after-school activities and homework on top of that.


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## No Longer A Libertine

CarolinaCalvinist said:


> It seems harder for the parents to have a real close relationship and teach their children in the way you're describing if the children are gone for 8 hours/day at school, then have after-school activities and homework on top of that.


If that is what the parents desire then pull them out of public schooling by all means but understand that public schools are not the source of human evil and appeasement of corrupt thought.
They are but agents of it in certain instances.

Keep the child at home until grade school if you want, even through high school if you please but once they are on their own or in college they are going to have to confront and deal with life in a fallen world and age does not mean maturity.


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## Davidius

No Longer A Libertine said:


> If that is what the parents desire then pull them out of public schooling by all means but understand that public schools are not the source of human evil and appeasement of corrupt thought.
> They are but agents of it in certain instances.
> 
> Keep the child at home until grade school if you want, even through high school if you please but once they are on their own or in college they are going to have to confront and deal with life in a fallen world and age does not mean maturity.



Regarding your first point, I never said that public schools are the source of human evil and appeasement of corrupt thought. That may what others imply, but it's not my argument. I very much agree with you that we can learn much from non-Christians when it comes to non-redemptive things. I don't need a Christian to teach me Latin or German (my majors). I'm being tutored in Latin by a homosexual PhD student and we get along fine. Most of my German classes have had bad stuff from time to time that we've had to read or learn about. I took a New Testament class from a very well-known scholar of New Testament Criticism that was saturated with an anti-Christian agenda. 

While I'm concerned with the _negative element_ of public schooling, which you classified as an agent, I'm more concerned with the _positive element_ of getting to be a real part of my childrens' lives while they are younger. I do have a responsibility to teach them in a godly manner and I do have a responsibility to bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. And I just want to share their lives. When college comes around I'll have to remember what you're saying, that salvation is of the Lord and that I'll have to entrust them to Him. But I want to provide every "means" I can for their growth and for the solidification of truth in their hearts before that moment when they leave.

And besides, statistics show that homeschooled kids are just smarter.  Public school is a nursery to make sure that kids behave for 8 hours a day. Not a whole lot of real learning goes on there. This alone seems like a good reason to keep them at home.


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## No Longer A Libertine

CarolinaCalvinist said:


> Regarding your first point, I never said that public schools are the source of human evil and appeasement of corrupt thought. That may what others imply, but it's not my argument. I very much agree with you that we can learn much from non-Christians when it comes to non-redemptive things. I don't need a Christian to teach me Latin or German (my majors). I'm being tutored in Latin by a homosexual PhD student and we get along fine. Most of my German classes have had bad stuff from time to time that we've had to read or learn about. I took a New Testament class from a very well-known scholar of New Testament Criticism that was saturated with an anti-Christian agenda.
> 
> While I'm concerned with the _negative element_ of public schooling, which you classified as an agent, I'm more concerned with the _positive element_ of getting to be a real part of my childrens' lives while they are younger. I do have a responsibility to teach them in a godly manner and I do have a responsibility to bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. And I just want to share their life. When college comes around I'll have to remember what you're saying, that salvation is of the Lord and that I'll have to entrust them to Him. But I want to provide every "means" I can for their growth and for the solidification of truth in their hearts before that moment when they leave.
> 
> And besides, statistics show that homeschooled kids are just smarter.  Public school is a nursery to make sure that kids behave for 8 hours a day. Not a whole lot of real learning goes on there. This alone seems like a good reason to keep them at home.


I agree, I suppose part of the fall is that we now toil in hard labor instead of having all of our energies focused on our loved ones.

Truly we come home tired at the end of the day and what we need to be mindful in prayer for is patience, wisdom and goodtime management to spend with our families accordingly. Our marriages will be a covenant while our jobs will never be.

We have to learn to sacrifice ambition and pleasure at times for the duty and simplicity of time with our family both instructional and recreational.

I cannot pretend to have it all figured out but it would appear that a great part of sanctification will be coming to the realization of one's selfishness in the context of marriage and learning to not be repulsed by your spouse and children's sin but instead to confront it with discipline and fatherly/ husbandly love.

A mouthful, a tall order, a task that will make we boys men.

What the world delights in God will show us how fleeting ambition is compared to the love of a woman and the children you've had the honor of having and raising with her.


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## kvanlaan

Sorry, Travis my point about the "earn a degree and lose your soul" was not that going to college _will_ cause you to fall away but it _can_ if the child is not ready. If I as a father do not think my child is ready to handle what I _know_ is coming in university, I would say that he needs to stay home and receive more training before he is sent off into the big bad world. This is my God-given responsibility and I take it very seriously.

Look at the SBC stats on students who go to college after attending church their whole lives to that point (and who participate in missions, etc.). I think the figure that I heard (perhaps it was on the White Horse Inn) was that 60% fall away once they go to university. Is this only because they're S. Baptist? Nope. It is the relentless hammering of secular humanism, of having a good time at school, of all the various and sundry temptations. Though I am CRC myself, I went to a conservative SBC university and saw enough dope, booze and immorality to last a long, long time. What would my children see at a _state_ school? And these days, it's knee deep in the public high schools too. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I am saying that it is one heck of a risk. 

When you're in the slippery places, all it takes is your own weight to cause you to fall.


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## No Longer A Libertine

kvanlaan said:


> Sorry, Travis my point about the "earn a degree and lose your soul" was not that going to college _will_ cause you to fall away but it _can_ if the child is not ready. If I as a father do not think my child is ready to handle what I _know_ is coming in university, I would say that he needs to stay home and receive more training before he is sent off into the big bad world. This is my God-given responsibility and I take it very seriously.
> 
> Look at the SBC stats on students who go to college after attending church their whole lives to that point (and who participate in missions, etc.). I think the figure that I heard (perhaps it was on the White Horse Inn) was that 60% fall away once they go to university. Is this only because they're S. Baptist? Nope. It is the relentless hammering of secular humanism, of having a good time at school, of all the various and sundry temptations. Though I am CRC myself, I went to a conservative SBC university and saw enough dope, booze and immorality to last a long, long time. What would my children see at a _state_ school? And these days, it's knee deep in the public high schools too. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I am saying that it is one heck of a risk.
> 
> When you're in the slippery places, all it takes is your own weight to cause you to fall.


I agree to a degree, I was immature heading into college but in many cases holding off the real world actually prolongs maturity.

Regretably in the instances where SBC kids you cite turned away many of them were just pew filler.

I went to the largest Baptist univeristy on the planet, I've seen it all believe me.


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## Davidius

Did you go to Liberty? Is that where your PB handle comes from?


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## No Longer A Libertine

CarolinaCalvinist said:


> Did you go to Liberty? Is that where your PB handle comes from?


PB handle? 

I went to Baylor, it is a private university in the Big 12. It has a horrible seminary in Truett and a blasphemous theology department in the university.

Truett is wher Olson is and with him the most outspoken proponents of Open Theism in the USA to my knowledge.

It is a liberal theological place full of churchianity.

The school is pretty much moderate politically because profs are libs and student body are conservative in comparison.

I'll say this much, the Baptists flushed me into the arms of the Presbyterian Church while I was there.

http://www.baylor.edu


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## Davidius

No Longer A Libertine said:


> PB handle?



Sorry if the terminology was odd. I just meant your PB name. I was thinking of Liberty University and that maybe "No Longer a Libertine" meant you were no longer a student there or something.





No Longer A Libertine said:


> I'll say this much, the Baptists flushed me into the arms of the Presbyterian Church while I was there.



Another reminder of what we said earlier in the thread...that God uses means to get things accomplished.


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## No Longer A Libertine

CarolinaCalvinist said:


> Sorry if the terminology was odd. I just meant your PB name. I was thinking of Liberty University and that maybe "No Longer a Libertine" meant you were no longer a student there or something.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Another reminder of what we said earlier in the thread...that God uses means to get things accomplished.


Nope libertine as in hedon, blasphemer, reprobate world lover, lustful beyond reproach, selfish as my flesh wants to be, unregenerate and many more heinous things.

I don't hate the Baptists, the ones at Baylor were overwhelimingly charismatic and worldly more than anything.


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## No Longer A Libertine

CarolinaCalvinist said:


> Sorry if the terminology was odd. I just meant your PB name. I was thinking of Liberty University and that maybe "No Longer a Libertine" meant you were no longer a student there or something.


That would be apropo and humorous if Falwell refered to his alumni and student body as "Libertines".


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## Davidius

No Longer A Libertine said:


> Nope libertine as in hedon, blasphemer, reprobate world lover, lustful beyond reproach, selfish as my flesh wants to be, unregenerate and many more heinous things.



Ah, I didn't know that that's what the word "libertine" meant when I asked.


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## No Longer A Libertine

CarolinaCalvinist said:


> Ah, I didn't know that that's what the word "libertine" meant when I asked.


I learned the word from John Newton's epitaph he wrote for himself:

"JOHN NEWTON, CLERK, ONCE AN INFIDEL AND LIBERTINE, A SERVENT OF SLAVES IN AFRICA, WAS, BY THE RICH MERCY OF OUR LORD ANS SAVIOUR, Jesus Christ, PRESERVED, RESTORED, PARDONED, AND APPOINTED TO PREACH THE FAITH HE HAD LONG LABORED TO DESTROY."


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## Tom Roach

I agree with *kvanlaan* to a point. It is no mystery that there is variation among Christians; some can handle the world, and some cannot. It can be a great shock going from a home-schooled environment into a college (Christian, private, or public); adversely this can be a negligible change in the student's post-home-schooling life to attend a college or university. Parents--through the infinite grace of God--can only go so far preparing their children for the world. They must have faith in the Lord to eventually let them go into it: to college, work, or marriage. Parents should pray their growing child or children will understand the lesson behind _Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate."_

Regarding the necessity of home-schooling, it _should_ be for every parent. The parents who are too lazy or unwilling to put forth the full consistent effort in home-schooling were not properly trained in their own youth. It is not better to send them to school since a school will without doubt distance the children and parents. Children should be raised to listen to their parents, yet children get confused when they see their teachers at school as a separate authority in their lives. It is unbiblical to not home-school just as it is unbiblical to inadequately raise our children, and foster any shortcomings of their lives. If they are sufficiently taught the Word of God, live in it and by it, and the parents have full faith that God will direct them as they go into the world, they have no reason to keep them from attending colleges and universities. The parents could keep their kids at home until they are 30 thinking "My son isn't quite ready to go into the world so I should teach him about this... and that". With this approach, the parents will likely never be satisfied their children are prepared, which demonstrates either the parents' doubt in how they raised their children or their incomplete faith that the Lord will _not_ lead them astray.

Sorry for the lack of focus; it's late and my mind's a bit overloaded with information : )



kvanlaan said:


> Sorry, Travis my point about the "earn a degree and lose your soul" was not that going to college _will_ cause you to fall away but it _can_ if the child is not ready. If I as a father do not think my child is ready to handle what I _know_ is coming in university, I would say that he needs to stay home and receive more training before he is sent off into the big bad world. This is my God-given responsibility and I take it very seriously.
> 
> Look at the SBC stats on students who go to college after attending church their whole lives to that point (and who participate in missions, etc.). I think the figure that I heard (perhaps it was on the White Horse Inn) was that 60% fall away once they go to university. Is this only because they're S. Baptist? Nope. It is the relentless hammering of secular humanism, of having a good time at school, of all the various and sundry temptations. Though I am CRC myself, I went to a conservative SBC university and saw enough dope, booze and immorality to last a long, long time. What would my children see at a _state_ school? And these days, it's knee deep in the public high schools too. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I am saying that it is one heck of a risk.
> 
> When you're in the slippery places, all it takes is your own weight to cause you to fall.


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## kvanlaan

That's part of my point. If I have done my job, my children will be ready. But if they're not, I would rather admit failure and keep them back to properly train them than to send them off unprepared. Or perhaps work out another educational alternative. At 21 or thereabouts, they're done, no matter what; you don't want a _mamoni_. I actually hope that by 17/18 my boys will have been working for some years (thanks to the homeschooling schedule) and the girls will have learned the domestic skills they need in addition to their preparatory studies for university.

It's a matter of maturity, for the most part but still... I just remember my parents' exhortations to me to "remember who you are" whenever we went out to parties and even today, I remember the behaviour of some who got WAY out of hand in college and remember that their parents' signature was on that child, even as he lived in sin (I didn't scrutinize by own behaviour that much at that point, it wouldn't have been pretty - I was not a good kid; my lifestyle would have brought great shame to my parents if they'd known.) I just want to be sure that my kids are as ready as we can reasonably make them. And yes, when they fall, they'll have to pick themselves up, there's no sheltering. We'll always love them but we sure don't coddle.

That is to say, I agree with you guys for the most part. We're not the type to shelter (when the kids fall down, if there are no bones sticking through the skin, we tell them to get up and shake it off, it's good for 'em!) but neither do I want my testament to society to be the libertine I was.


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## Staphlobob

joshua said:


> I hate the whole idea of state "provided" public education. Its whole purpose is to dumb down the masses and make them uniform sheeple who will bow to the state at almost any cost, and to, of course, inject them further with godlessness.
> 
> Qualification: Thank God it doesn't work much of the time.


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## CDM

School district: Sixth graders had sex in class




> But once the teacher discovered the behavior, immediate action was taken. Swensson says the *students involved were recommended for expulsion*. But he did not say whether the board followed that recommendation.



_Recommended_ for expiulsion!?!  

Oh that we'd convert the Departmnent of Education to a nuke testing site.


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## gwine

KMK said:


> If you don't send your children to public school, where do you expect them to learn the 'F' word and evolution?


When my wife was walking our oldest son home from kindergarten another young boy was near them and said, "Oh f&#*, I forgot the <something>." My son's eye's got pretty big at that point.

This was about 20 years ago, so I can't imagine what it is like now.


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## LadyFlynt

On the college issue...there is also a difference between a 6yr old or 10yr old or 14yr old in a government school vs a 20yr old in college (state, private, etc). Also, we have the intent of our ADULT children going to college, yet remaining at home or under care of a covenanted family.


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## BobVigneault

Travis, I like seeing youthful, wide-eyed idealism. It's somewhat refreshing from time to time. Let's face it though, according to your profile you are a 23 year old film student who lists among his interests - beautiful reformed women.

I appreciate your opinion but when you get a dog in this fight then your advice is going to carry some weight. In the meantime, I've got kids and wrinkles older than you brother.  

There was an important principle in the OT. Don't touch a dead thing or you would become unclean. Why? Why didn't the dead thing become clean instead? Because that's not how the principle works. Our young people would have to be exceptionally sanctified to stand up to the worldliness in todays educational system. The means of that sanctification will not come through state indoctrination. Not going to happen. You will spend so much time trying to undo a materialistic worldview that it will be hard to teach them Truth.

The school gets them for nearly 40 hours a week. That's a lot of influence.


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## Tom Roach

*kvanlaan*, I agree with you that there should be a balance between loving children with excessive compassion (or even coddling) and being a drill sargeant.

*LadyFlynt*, age can a factor in determining someone's spiritual knowledge, but there are exceptions where a college-age son or daughter is less mature than a high-school age son or daughter. Yes, it _should_ be where they gain Godly discernment with age, but some people need to fall far before they really _want_ to stay away from the world. You know how it is with secret rebellion; I think parents should level with their children as to why rebellion never works in their favor without the parents having to say "when I was your age...". Parents should just be completely honest with their children and then the children will trust them even more and listen to them really seriously : ) I believe that if parents teach their sons and daughters throughout their young lives how to use God's Word in tempting various circumstances, then they can handle it. **They know at a young age to put on a coat, gloves, and a hat when it's cold outside. They should also know to put on God's Word when evil comes by. They can do this by recalling verses and applying them to situations--it only takes practice 

*BobVigneault*, that's a great point about the OT teaching on not touching anything that's dead. Jesus' discourse in Matthew 15 also provides excellent teaching on what is clean and unclean. Matthew 15:1-20 in particular verses 10-20.

Have a nice day, everyone!


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## LadyFlynt

Tom, I agree...this is where we have to observe each child and deal accordingly. We have not reached that point yet. However, we personally do not believe in just sending our single daughters out on their own. There are reasons and protection in this. Our sons, there is no earthly reason why they can't go to school close to home (until they hit medical school or unless they should intend to join the military). It will benefit them financially and give them a grounded place to "come home" to for study and such. This is also to assist them in relationships as well as spiritual life. There is an excellent book that discusses this called The Puritan Family where they speak of single persons living alone.


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## lv1nothr

BobVigneault said:


> There was an important principle in the OT. Don't touch a dead thing or you would become unclean. Why? Why didn't the dead thing become clean instead? Because that's not how the principle works. Our young people would have to be exceptionally sanctified to stand up to the worldliness in todays educational system. The means of that sanctification will not come through state indoctrination. Not going to happen. You will spend so much time trying to undo a materialistic worldview that it will be hard to teach them Truth.
> 
> The school gets them for nearly 40 hours a week. That's a lot of influence.


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## etexas

H.S. if that is where you think the Lord is leading you, most college and university admissions really look for SAT and ACT scores as real indicators for success in higher education (the data shows that this is accurate) if one goes the H.S. route prepare them well.......for both tests. Pax Vobiscum


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## lv1nothr

mangum said:


> School district: Sixth graders had sex in class
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Recommended_ for expiulsion!?!
> 
> Oh that we'd convert the Departmnent of Education to a nuke testing site.



Not that I needed another reason to thank God for being able to homeschool...


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## kvanlaan




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## LadyFlynt

I follow Jesus said:


> H.S. if that is where you think the Lord is leading you, most college and university admissions really look for SAT and ACT scores as real indicators for success in higher education (the data shows that this is accurate) if one goes the H.S. route prepare them well.......for both tests. Pax Vobiscum



I never took either test in highschool, was never prepared for it in highschool, and I did attend college (without either test). Yes, I can prepare them for these tests at home, plan to, but government school doesn't equal automatic preparation.


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## etexas

LadyFlynt said:


> I never took either test in highschool, was never prepared for it in highschool, and I did attend college (without either test). Yes, I can prepare them for these tests at home, plan to, but government school doesn't equal automatic preparation.


Well, Admissions boards now put a bigger "premium" on these test. More than when I went to college.....thank goodness!


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## Tom Roach

When the focus of homeschooling becomes academics, people lose sight of the main reason we believe in homeschooling to begin with: to raise Godly human beings in an unGodly world. The risks of homeschooling pale in comparison to the risks of sending our children blindly into the world. I believe children should have a degree of freedom, but they should be monitored. A lot of kids and teenagers will seek great means to obtain or see what they want. If not in person, then on TV or the internet; if not there, they may dream of sinful things as all sin begins in our minds. An important aspect of parenting is to convince their children that the temptations of sin really are death. I don't think kids should be thrown into the water without first learning how to swim really, really well.

I'll buy that book The Puritan Family. I will be a single man living alone very soon and I may have sons living on their own one day as well.


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## lv1nothr

Like all parents here, we're hopelessly in love with our children,  and we think this is the best for them. 
We've HS'd since 1996, and Lord willing won't have it any other way! 

This depicts why we think homeschooling is best. [video=youtube;_s18yj57iwU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s18yj57iwU[/video]


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## LadyFlynt

Tom, sounds like we are pretty much on the same wave length...make sure they can swim really well before letting them in the ocean.

(Tom, could you please click on Signature Requirements in my signature to find out how to update yours? Thank you)


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## Tom Roach

Yes, we're on the same wavelength (it's funny how you mentioned that and then the ocean : ) I filled out my signature; it was the first signature I ever made--e-mail, forum, or otherwise.

-Tom


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## LadyFlynt

LOL....and thank you.


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