# S/O of Wedding Dresses



## LadyFlynt (Dec 23, 2008)

Someone mentioned there could be a whole separate thread on these and they are right.

So shall we  and  ?


Should we even bother with a formal gown and tuxes or should we just married in simple attire (as though we were simply attending services)?

Is colour a real issue? There are those that were married all in a "simpler" or more down to earth colour than white without implications at one time.

Feel free to beat any other horses pertaining to weddings in this thread


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## Poimen (Dec 23, 2008)

I would say no but since I am not married or engaged will probably due whatever my fiance wants which means 'yes'.


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## PresbyDane (Dec 23, 2008)

I know that we are not catholics in this forum and that therfore marriage is not a sacrament but it is still a part of Gods created order and a special one at that we have from Jesus himself that marriage is for some people and not for others, so there is something special to getting married.
Therefore I think one should dress in that kind of clothes that one finds beatiful and i which one would want to celebrate this god created order.
Then it is up to the individuals own concions.
Still having in mind not to offend any brother.


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## Ex Nihilo (Dec 23, 2008)

LadyFlynt said:


> Someone mentioned there could be a whole separate thread on these and they are right.
> 
> So shall we  and  ?
> 
> ...



If people can't afford to dress up, surely it's wise to dress simply. But the Bible does not seem to disapprove of dressing up:



> Isaiah 61
> 10 I will greatly rejoice in the LORD;
> my soul shall exult in my God,
> for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
> ...



Of course the passage is prophetic and symbolic, but it seems like there is something about dressing up for weddings that helps us understand imputation. The bride's dress would not have to be white, I guess, but I don't see why it's wrong if it is. And also, the bride's attitude would have to be balanced out by 1 Peter 3:3-4:



> 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.



I may be off-base about this, but those are just my thoughts.


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## TsonMariytho (Dec 23, 2008)

My wife made her own wedding dress. Her 7 (!) sisters helped her, but they wouldn't let me see it until the wedding day. (They did let me bring them ice cream while they were working on it, though... June wedding.)

There are probably some people who would find it too modest, and others who would think the opposite. I thought she looked completely beautiful and appropriate in it. :^)


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## Ex Nihilo (Dec 23, 2008)

TsonMariytho said:


> My wife made her own wedding dress. Her 7 (!) sisters helped her, but they wouldn't let me see it until the wedding day. (They did let me bring them ice cream while they were working on it, though... June wedding.)
> 
> *There are probably some people who would find it too modest, and others who would think the opposite. * I thought she looked completely beautiful and appropriate in it. :^)



Always a good indication that clothing is appropriate.


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## toddpedlar (Dec 23, 2008)

Ex Nihilo said:


> TsonMariytho said:
> 
> 
> > My wife made her own wedding dress. Her 7 (!) sisters helped her, but they wouldn't let me see it until the wedding day. (They did let me bring them ice cream while they were working on it, though... June wedding.)
> ...



What's a good indication? That the opinion is divided? I'm not sure how that follows.


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## TsonMariytho (Dec 23, 2008)

toddpedlar said:


> What's a good indication? That the opinion is divided? I'm not sure how that follows.



I took it more as a friendly bit of humor rather than a dialectic pronouncement.


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## Ex Nihilo (Dec 23, 2008)

toddpedlar said:


> Ex Nihilo said:
> 
> 
> > TsonMariytho said:
> ...



Ehh, logically, not necessarily. . . Just an offhand comment.

Edit: Just to clarify, I certainly didn't mean to imply that anyone _ought_ to find a bride's dress immodest. I quite oppose cleavage in public, particularly for brides. But I think a lot of young ladies have never had a dad like mine who has taught them that this is inappropriate.


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## Honor (Dec 23, 2008)

like I said in the other post... I had a white spagetti strap dress that came to about 5 inches above the knee, my hair in a reversed ponytail and white sling back heels the dress had little rosebuds embroidered on the front and my husband wore a blue button down shirt and kackies (sp?) it was super simple we married at the court house at 11am and He went BACK to work at 1pm short simple and he thought I looked lovely. I thought it was quiet modest...


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## Christusregnat (Dec 23, 2008)

Here's another passage about special attire at a wedding:



> Matthew 22:10-14 So those servants went out into the highways, and gathered together all as many as they found, both bad and good: and the wedding was furnished with guests. And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man _*which had not on a wedding garment*_: And he saith unto him, Friend, _*how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment*_? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen.



Although having a difference of meaning as a parable, the point that the parable bases its message on is how unbecoming it is for people to dress like slobs, as if a wedding isn't a special event. This dishonors the host, and such disrespect should be rewarded (see God's reward above). Although no one should stone me for thinking that slovenly dress sends people to outer darkness 

Cheers,

Adam


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## Kevin (Dec 23, 2008)

Honor said:


> like I said in the other post... I had a white spagetti strap dress that came to about 5 inches above the knee, my hair in a reversed ponytail and white sling back heels the dress had little rosebuds embroidered on the front and my husband wore a blue button down shirt and kackies (sp?) it was super simple we married at the court house at 11am and He went BACK to work at 1pm short simple and he thought I looked lovely. I thought it was quiet modest...



BACK TOO WORK!!!!!


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## py3ak (Dec 23, 2008)

My question is, _Why_ do women dream about the wedding day, and _*why*_ are they encouraged to do so? 

Heidi has no answers for me, as she was rather matter of fact.


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## Theognome (Dec 23, 2008)

Many moons ago when I was not yet in Christ's fold and living in Tucson, the woman who lived in the apartment above me left for a night out. She was in her late 40's (I think), and was dressed in a red and black cocktail dress. I asked her if she was going out fot the night or the whole weekend. She replied that she was going out to get married, and then party with her new hubby.

Although I was not a believer at that time, this still disgusted me.

Theognome


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## christiana (Dec 23, 2008)

py3ak said:


> My question is, _Why_ do women dream about the wedding day, and _*why*_ are they encouraged to do so?
> 
> Heidi has no answers for me, as she was rather matter of fact.



Many females romanticize everything, especially weddings and tend at the time of their wedding to think, 'now we'll live happily ever after'. Its the dream of romance and is more female than male!


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## Ex Nihilo (Dec 23, 2008)

py3ak said:


> My question is, _Why_ do women dream about the wedding day, and _*why*_ are they encouraged to do so?
> 
> Heidi has no answers for me, as she was rather matter of fact.



It has something to do with a desire for attention and admiration. Many girls fantasize about any occasion that involves dressing up, and when you add in the "romantic" element of the wedding, the fantasy is irresistible for many.

I have no idea why this is encouraged.


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## TaylorOtwell (Dec 23, 2008)

Ex Nihilo said:


> py3ak said:
> 
> 
> > My question is, _Why_ do women dream about the wedding day, and _*why*_ are they encouraged to do so?
> ...



Maybe it also has to do with a desire in godly women to "love their husbands, love their children, and be keepers at home" (Titus 2:4-5)?


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## Ex Nihilo (Dec 23, 2008)

TaylorOtwell said:


> Ex Nihilo said:
> 
> 
> > py3ak said:
> ...



I don't think so. I think _that_ godly desire plays out in dreams of housekeeping and being a good wife, not in dreams of having everyone watch you walk down the aisle. It's the difference between dreaming of _getting_ married and dreaming of _being_ married.

On the contrary, some of the godliest women I know had rather simple weddings, and they didn't make a big deal of it.


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## lynnie (Dec 24, 2008)

"I think that godly desire plays out in dreams of housekeeping and being a good wife, not in dreams of having everyone watch you walk down the aisle. It's the difference between dreaming of getting married and dreaming of being married." 

BINGO!!!

My hub and I were both virgins when we married 29.5 years ago ( I had a pretty, simple white dress). I honestly think I could have worn a black plastic trash bag with a hole cut in the top and neither of us would have cared. It was falling into each others arms with no clothes on that we could hardly wait for. It is still the same after all these years.

I plan to tell my daughter someday about what a guy really wants- to come home to a content and caring wife who loves the Lord and is his best friend- and who is thrilled to take her clothes off for him at night. I know fashion plates with miserable mariages. It should never be about looks and expensive clothes, not even on day one if you ask me.


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## Ex Nihilo (Dec 24, 2008)

lynnie said:


> "I think that godly desire plays out in dreams of housekeeping and being a good wife, not in dreams of having everyone watch you walk down the aisle. It's the difference between dreaming of getting married and dreaming of being married."
> 
> BINGO!!!
> 
> ...



Thanks so much for sharing this! I pray this happens for me someday, too.


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## Beoga (Dec 24, 2008)

Poimen said:


> I would say no but since I am not married or engaged will probably due whatever my fiance wants which means 'yes'.


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## Wannabee (Dec 24, 2008)

However a woman wins a man, that's how she's most likely going to keep him. If it's her looks, then she's built upon a house that will sag and crack with time, and the relationship will deteriorate to the extent that it's reliant upon that house. But if she lures him with her godliness then he'll continue to be lured as she grows in godliness throughout their marriage. If she's _*dwelling*_ on her looks at their wedding, then what is her focus in the marriage?


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## moral necessity (Dec 24, 2008)

I say that we should all do according to our personal desires with regard to propriety on this issue. There is nothing wrong with dressing up and feeling beautiful in front of others. God has arranged flowers of the field to be beautifully arrayed, and yet they make no apology. God makes his blue sky to shine in its perfection, and the stars and moon to glow at night in beautiful array, and yet they have nothing to ask for forgiveness for. They are all very attractive to our eyes, and yet, if women dress up so as to draw our eyes even in the slightest degree in attraction towards them, it's as if some apology is often needed or some covering is demanded to be placed upon them. I personally don't think that this is the way it was meant to be. It's okay for women to want to feel like the object of attraction and affection from a man. Certainly, they got this desire from God, who himself, I'm sure, wants to be seen as such in our eyes. God himself so arrays himself to look beautiful and appealing to us, so as to "win our affection" to him. And so, he "draws us unto himself" by his own beauty and attractiveness. And so, the Song of Solomon is an excellent portrayal of this very imagery. So, I personally don't desire to stifle a woman's desires in these directions. Man himself doesn't tend to possess or exhibit them. Women seem to be the only ones designed to represent these traits of God to us and the world.


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## Honor (Dec 24, 2008)

Kevin said:


> Honor said:
> 
> 
> > like I said in the other post... I had a white spagetti strap dress that came to about 5 inches above the knee, my hair in a reversed ponytail and white sling back heels the dress had little rosebuds embroidered on the front and my husband wore a blue button down shirt and kackies (sp?) it was super simple we married at the court house at 11am and He went BACK to work at 1pm short simple and he thought I looked lovely. I thought it was quiet modest...
> ...



well I can never say that I have lazy husband


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## calgal (Dec 24, 2008)

Wannabee said:


> However a woman wins a man, that's how she's most likely going to keep him. If it's her looks, then she's built upon a house that will sag and crack with time, and the relationship will deteriorate to the extent that it's reliant upon that house. But if she lures him with her godliness then he'll continue to be lured as she grows in godliness throughout their marriage. If she's _*dwelling*_ on her looks at their wedding, then what is her focus in the marriage?



She is standing up in front of her family, friends and his family and friends. Of course she wants to look her best that day. And then there are the pictures. Some girls (and their mothers) get caught up in the hype/hysteria surrounding the wedding business.


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## py3ak (Dec 24, 2008)

Thanks to everyone who answered. I like the distinction between wanting to _get_ married and wanting to _be_ married.

And I don't think anyone is saying that weddings ought to be designed to be boring (though it might often seem that way), or that brides should try to be as foully hideous as possible. But the amount of stress produced by weddings, and the misbehaviour and poor stewardship encouraged by absurd expectations are clearly indications that it's become an idolatrous norm. That is what godly parents must resist cultivating in their children, and what godly young people seeking marriage must oppose in the execution of their weddings.

When I was married I explained to my co-workers how simple the ceremony was. They protested. I pointed out that Heidi was fine with it. One dismissed her views as being of scant value on the ground that "it's her first time, she doesn't know what she wants". Evidently, for this lady, the point of finding a husband was to _have a stupendous wedding_; at the time I knew her, she had been divorced or separated more than once.


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## Kim G (Dec 29, 2008)

I know I'm jumping in on the discussion a little late, but I didn't have internet access last week.

My husband and I planned our wedding in 10 days (due to some circumstances outside our control), and it was beautiful. But not because of its lavishness or expense. My cousin who is a music major played our prelude with songs she already knew. My brother and cousins sang during the ceremony. My bridesmaids were my best friends and cousins who wore dresses they already owned. The flowers were poinsettias and roses that my mom arranged for me. My great-aunt and great-uncle cleaned the church the night before the wedding. My husband's cousin performed the ceremony. My best friend helped me find shoes and a veil (for a total of $18) to go with the dress I already had. My aunt decorated for a cake reception with leftover decorations from a banquet at her church.

I loved my wedding because I was marrying my best friend, and my family and friends were all there to celebrate with us.


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