# How do y'all handle what is, for me, an obstacle when I think of evangelism?



## Gryphonette (Mar 31, 2011)

Which is, what does one say when the subject comes up regarding someone's loved ones who clearly died outside of Christ?

That's always fascinated and amazed me when I think of those who take the Gospel where it's been unknown. What a shattering step for a new believer to take, to accept that everyone he or she has loved who has died is surely in Hell.

Naturally, this situation is scarcely restricted to regions where the Gospel hasn't reached (yet). It's applicable to people next door. One's own family, in fact.

What does one _say_ when the person with whom one is sharing the Gospel asks about their deceased loved ones?


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## TimV (Mar 31, 2011)

You can quote the confession, but that seems, like, ice cold....

I was doing the rounds at villages in Papua New Guinea where we were teaching literacy, and it was my turn to do a sermonette on a Sunday. The people listened, and one guy said afterwards "None of our people have ever been Christians. None of them ever have heard the Gospel. Are are of our ancestors in hell being tortured forever?"

So, no answer, but sympathy from me!


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## Gryphonette (Mar 31, 2011)

TimV said:


> You can quote the confession, but that seems, like, ice cold....
> 
> I was doing the rounds at villages in Papua New Guinea where we were teaching literacy, and it was my turn to do a sermonette on a Sunday. The people listened, and one guy said afterwards "None of our people have ever been Christians. None of them ever have heard the Gospel. Are are of our ancestors in hell being tortured forever?"
> 
> So, no answer, but sympathy from me!


 
Exactly. I can't begin to imagine how to respond, which is hampering my ability to evangelize enthusiastically and properly. That question is bound to come up, and I've no idea what to say that doesn't sound like, "Well, yeah. Sorry about that."


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## he beholds (Mar 31, 2011)

Could you [we] say something like, "Well, we don't know what another actually believes and maybe some of our loved ones came to Christ before they died, without us knowing it." And talk about our sadness in our own lost family members' deaths, but gently.


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## jandrusk (Mar 31, 2011)

I think we should speak the truth in love and my approach would be to describe the holiness and sovereignty of God. I do agree that we do not know the persons heart in question and need to just articulate in a loving way that God is the judge of all the earth and all are accountable to Him.


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## Scott1 (Mar 31, 2011)

A difficult situation, one that needs wisdom. The goal for the Christian is always God's greater glory, even in difficult situations.



Gryphonette said:


> Which is, what does one say when the subject comes up regarding someone's loved ones who clearly died outside of Christ?
> 
> That's always fascinated and amazed me when I think of those who take the Gospel where it's been unknown. What a shattering step for a new believer to take, to accept that everyone he or she has loved who has died is surely in Hell.
> 
> ...


 
There is a time and place for everything (c.f. Ecclesiastes, WLC relates "speaking the truth unseasonably" as a ninth commandment violation).



> Proverbs 29:11. A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.



In the fresh wake of a death, it's very likely appropriate to focus on whatever good might have been seen in the deceased person's life, and comforting their loved ones, and not focus or draw attention to our infallible assessment of the eternal state of the deceased person.

Maybe a general question like that could be answered by something like "only God knows."

When the occasion presents itself, or if they probe, be faithful,
acknowledge all the "good" the person may seem to have done, comfort the bereaved, offer mercy, and you have an entree to explain what the Bible teaches about salvation- stress the positive aspect. Answer only according to their questions, because God is ordaining them (really). If it leads to more clarity, salvation for believers because of Christ, judgment and hell as justice for those without God's only provision for it, do so.

Gently.

But never be afraid to tell the truth, measured by the inquiry when pressed for it. 



> Proverbs 25:11
> A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.


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## Bern (Apr 1, 2011)

I can't remember where I heard this, but I recall an example of a funeral where a womans uncle had died. After the funeral service she asked the pastor " he didn't believe in God, is he going to heaven?"

The pastor said with sympathy that he believed he wouldn't be going to heaven. 
The woman then told him that if he had told her that her uncle was going to heaven she could never believe in God, because her uncle had abused her as a child, and never repented. 

So the pastor's honesty glorified and vindicated God. We can't possibly know what's going on in someone's mind when we talk to them about deceased relatives. We just need to be gentle but truthful.


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## InSlaveryToChrist (Apr 1, 2011)

It is most loving to tell the plain truth: the person's loved ones are hell-deserving sinners, not some cute, innocent people, who sought after the truth, but couldn't find it, because they had never heard the Gospel, because nobody told them. There is no reason to think one person's loved ones are more lovely before God than other people. Why should our earthly parents, siblings, cousins and other relatives be any more privileged than other people? That's just man-centered thinking, that's all it is.


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## Tim (Apr 1, 2011)

Tony Miano of Ambassador's Alliance often says, "I don't know where your father [or other relative] is, but if he could talk to you today, I am absolutely sure that he would say that you need to be right with God".


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## RobertPGH1981 (Apr 1, 2011)

I don't think there is an easy answer to this question. I have ran into this question when I go street witnessing. You could just say, "I am not familiar with the situation and do not know the details. God is the judge and not me." If they keep pressing you on the subject just remind them that God judges, and there is no way for you to know for sure. I am not sure if that sounds cold but that way you aren't lying to them. If they are saved in time they will come to their own conclusions. Hope that helps.


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## baron (Apr 1, 2011)

InSlaveryToChrist said:


> Why should our earthly parents, siblings, cousins and other relatives be any more privileged than other people? That's just man-centered thinking, that's all it is.



I hear this on a weekly basis. On the news when some one get's killed they all go to heaven. Every one goes to heaven, no matter what. Most pastor's do not even want to touch this question for fear of upsetting some one.


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## Bookmeister (Apr 1, 2011)

I think in these situations we need to move the focus off of the relatives and back to the individual and, more importantly, God where it belongs. We can say "You should praise God that He saved you while all those around perish." 

Paul says it best in Romans 9:

"What if God, wanting to show His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath gprepared for destruction, 23 and that He might make known the riches of His glory on the vessels of mercy, which He had prepared beforehand for glory,"


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## grizzlor (Apr 5, 2011)

Here is John Pipers response. What Hope Can We Have for Lost Loved Ones?, Christian News, The Christian Post


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