# Meeting and Talking to girls.



## Bladestunner316 (Aug 8, 2006)

I know this is in the open forum. I'm looking for advice from both sexes. 

What is the best way for a young strapping lad like myself to meet and create a dialogue with decent ladies? 

Blade

p.s. I should for one who is 24 and never dated before. 

[Edited on 8-8-2006 by Bladestunner316]


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## Semper Fidelis (Aug 8, 2006)

Find a Godly man in your Church with a Godly daughter and ask him if it's OK for you to court her.


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## jaybird0827 (Aug 8, 2006)

> _Originally posted by SemperFideles_
> Find a Godly man in your Church with a Godly daughter and ask him if it's OK for you to court her.



Find a Godly man in a like-minded church with a Godly daughter and ask permission to court her.

Do your elders know about this? Reason I ask: A young lady from our former congregation in married a young man from a congregation in another state. The gentleman had let his elders know that he was looking; his elders communicated with our elders. The couple communicated with one another over a long period of time, and so on. They married this past June.


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## Semper Fidelis (Aug 8, 2006)

We have some Godly and beautiful young women here that are available...


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 8, 2006)

Hear hear!

J/K 

Just go up and start talking, it's not like they're going to bite you or anything.  Is there anyone at church you would consider courting? Get to know her and her family and like Mr. L. said, ask her father for permission.


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 8, 2006)

Oh, and:


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## Puritanhead (Aug 8, 2006)

> _Originally posted by ~~Susita~~_
> Just go up and start talking, it's not like they're going to bite you or anything.


 Actually, some women do bite. It's quite painful actually. Watch those biters Nathan!!!


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 8, 2006)




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## crhoades (Aug 8, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Puritanhead_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by ~~Susita~~_
> ...



You _have_ noticed the German Shepherd at the bottom of Suista's sig line-haven't you?...


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 8, 2006)

Oh yeah that's riiiiiight! 

Here Mikers...


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 8, 2006)

doggonit. Why do the threads that Nate and I are in lately seem to go to the dogs? 

[Edited on 8-8-2006 by ~~Susita~~]


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## Puritanhead (Aug 8, 2006)

*Puritanhead lays the smack down on Mikey*



> _Originally posted by ~~Susita~~_
> Oh yeah that's riiiiiight!
> 
> Here Mikers...


 Bring it on Mikey! I can take that mutt!!! German Shepherds aren't so tough. The bigger they are; the harder they fall.


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## JohnV (Aug 8, 2006)

Nathan:

I have seven daughters. Unfortunately for you, all the the girls over 18 are either married or have steady boyfriends. There's only two left, and they're too young. I won't let them date. Not even you. 

I always tell them, "You have to have three years experience driving my car before I let you drive my car. And I'm harder on dating." 

Besides, Nathan, if you want to take one of my girls out on a date, and she has to be home by ten, then you can forget about taking them to a movie out there in Washington State. 

If you want some simple advice: don't look, but just start socializing with folks that you aspire to be like. That is, godly folk. There's people of every age in those groups, and you're bound to be found by someone or to find someone, usually all without your help.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 8, 2006)

Thank You everyone.


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## matt01 (Aug 8, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Bladestunner316_
> p.s. I should for one who is 24 and never dated before.



Pray, seek counsel, and be patient. Be careful about placing limits on who you will date. Joshua Harris has a good lesson in I Kissed Dating Goodbye about never knowing who God will bring into your life.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 9, 2006)

Matthew,
Good advice. I thnk the one thing is just to be more social - not dating social but just being friendly. I tend to tense up alot around girls takes me awhile before I get 'comfortable' around them. 

I think I need to go to this school http://www.apple.com/trailers/weinstein/schoolforscoundrels/trailer2/ 

On a serious note I could use prayer

Especially for patience. 

In Christ,
Blade


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## Ravens (Aug 9, 2006)

Ehhh. Obviously you should factor in fathers and what not into your decision. But having the approval of every one of her fathers, uncles, brothers, elders, guardian angels, familiars, and household leprechauns isn't going to necessarily win her over. And since we don't live in India, I'll try to give you what meager practical advice I have:

Don't try too hard. That's the number one reason, I think, that guys can turn off and push away the fairer sex. If you seem like you're desperate and lonely and panting after some forlorn rib to come along, get hitched, and obey ASAP then you're probably not even going to get a date. 

The world has terribly confused ideas of gender relations and dating. However, practically, the kernel of some of the "blown out of proportion" ideas is useful in interacting with females. As in, "bad boys" are sinful and lame. Don't get me wrong. But coming across as... ehhh... I don't know if "disinterested" is the right word, but its close to what I'm thinking. I don't know. Showing a lot of interest real quick-like in a girl can usually guarantee you'll get no interest in return. Acting cool, calm, collected, and too in-love with life to have to worry about finding a "girlfriend" usually makes them interested. Then they actually pursue you a little bit. Which, to use a Seinfeld-ian phrase, gives you "hand."

Be funny, be laid-back, don't talk about marriage on your first date/courting-session/whatever. I mean *obviously* if you want to find a good Christian girl, you're going to have to have the foundation of a good character, Bible knowledge, fruits of the Spirit, whatever. That's a given. But if you have Peter Presbyterian, who is nerdy, introverted, doesn't take care of himself, and tells girls on the first date that he loves them and that they were "made for him", on the one hand, and Ronnie Reformed, who makes jokes, is laid back, treats her with respect, "plays the game" (flirting, not sinfully), etc, on the other hand... then even the most dyed-in-the-wool little Reformed girlie is gonna go for Ronnie Reformed. And Peter Presbyterian will get on message boards and ask what he's doing wrong.

:bigsmile:


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Aug 9, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Mudandstars_
> But if you have Peter Presbyterian, who is nerdy, introverted, doesn't take care of himself, and tells girls on the first date that he loves them and that they were "made for him", on the one hand, and Ronnie Reformed, who makes jokes, is laid back, treats her with respect, "plays the game" (flirting, not sinfully), etc, on the other hand... then even the most dyed-in-the-wool little Reformed girlie is gonna go for Ronnie Reformed. And Peter Presbyterian will get on message boards and ask what he's doing wrong.
> 
> :bigsmile:



It doesn't hurt if you're a Handsome Huguenot.


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## Ravens (Aug 9, 2006)

Yeah. Such things tend to come in handy. "Dating advice" in Christian circles is always in the redemptive sphere, and rarely in the creative sphere. You should be courting a moral, fruit-bearing, Christian woman...

but nevertheless, she's a moral, fruit-bearing, Christian *woman*. So... Blade, if you don't work out: Start. If you can go to college and get a decent job, do it. These things come in handy if you're not a natural looker like Andrew.

:bigsmile:


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## Puritanhead (Aug 9, 2006)

I deleted my advice, because #1 it was intended for Nathan and he read it already, and #2, it was off-focus and more a reminder to be weary of the wrong women.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 9, 2006)

Joshua W,
Thank you for the good advice


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## WrittenFromUtopia (Aug 10, 2006)

Maybe you should build her a cake or sum-ting.


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## crhoades (Aug 10, 2006)

> _Originally posted by WrittenFromUtopia_
> Maybe you should build her a cake or sum-ting.


 He'll do whatever he feels like, GOSH!


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## WrittenFromUtopia (Aug 10, 2006)

> _Originally posted by crhoades_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by WrittenFromUtopia_
> ...



How much you wanna bet I can throw this football over them mountains over there?


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## crhoades (Aug 10, 2006)

> _Originally posted by WrittenFromUtopia_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by crhoades_
> ...



I'll do my best to refrain from adding to this rabbit trail...Where's a moderator when you need one? Oh wait...


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 10, 2006)

You guys are retarded. GOSH!


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## Puddleglum (Aug 10, 2006)

I'll tell you guys what us Reformed girls are _really_ looking for - guys with skills, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills . . . 

[Edited on 8-11-2006 by Puddleglum]


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## turmeric (Aug 10, 2006)

guys who play tetherball...


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## Augusta (Aug 10, 2006)

Was that in Napoleon Dynamite?? Now that guy was a catch.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 11, 2006)

and a mormon


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 11, 2006)

Yeth he wath a Mormon. though don't forget the exegethis skillth, Jeth!! :bigsmile:


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## LadyFlynt (Aug 11, 2006)

(shakes her head at the young'uns) I must surely be getting old...


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 12, 2006)

It's okay, you didn't miss much


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## Puritanhead (Aug 12, 2006)

Women are overrated.


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## Richard King (Aug 12, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Puddleglum_
> I'll tell you guys what us Reformed girls are _really_ looking for - guys with skills, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills . . .
> 
> [Edited on 8-11-2006 by Puddleglum]




welllllll since you brought up bowhunting...
I had a coach tell me once that you had to approach women like you do archery. Push away with one hand and pull towards you with the other. Turns out that is ancient wisdom from Seneca or someone. 
Don't be too anxious or appear desparate. Easier said than done when you ARE actually really really interested.


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## Cheshire Cat (Aug 13, 2006)

I am 19 and haven't dated very much but I can give what advice I can. Anyways, I used to be really shy, but it took recently getting rejected by a girl that I was in my mind in love with to take that away. Note: If I asked her father for permission to court her, and then she had little interest (as it turned out) it would be extremely awkward now! Especially since we are in the same college group and go to the same church. Anyways, my best advice is stop caring. I should explain. By that I mean as has been said before take a laid back approach. I'm not sure if you have been rejected before, but that seems to really help take away shyness in the future. What is there to lose? nothing. In addition, make sure you work out and eat healthy. I'm talking about drinking your water (alot), getting in your protein, getting in your calories from good sources, and start up a simple powerlifting routine. I have read books on courting and such, but I think that before asking to court a girl one must get to know her a little and get a feel for what she thinks of you. The last girl I like was *very* hard to read! Anyways, it has been said over and over again, but be laid back, easy going, funny, treat your body well and keep yourself well groomed. Be confident and things will go well. Besides, if a girl says 'no' then no loss, it wasn't meant to be. The best way to get over a fear of rejection is to be rejected. Anyways, just my thoughts. ~Caleb


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## jaybird0827 (Aug 13, 2006)

Nathan,

How are you preparing yourself for marriage at this time in your life - in mind, spirit, and body? vocationally?

Are you spending time cultivating what it takes to be the head of a household? 

Are you seeking counsel from those whom God has given you, such as your parents, your minister, your elders? Are they guiding you and helping to equip you to be accountable for the care and spiritual welfare of a wife, and a quiver full, if God should so bless?

I didn't marry until I was 35. Looking back on it, I can see why I was not ready before that. I dated, but it never got anywhere. It was only when I began to get serious about the preparation required to be a husband, father, and head of a household that I was able to trust God to deliver, or not deliver, according to his will.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 13, 2006)

Caleb,
Good Advice thank you. 

Jay,
You bring up very convicting points. At this time Im not able to attend church with any regularity. I sought advice from my mother(I have no father) and she basically reiterated the same thing about taking a laid back approach even though inside I may be scared etc.. but to not show it and just be friendly to feel the person out. 

I work full time-paying off a new car loan, go to school via distance taking up veterinary assistant and will be doing volunteer work soon for a couple hours a week so that I can get experience and apply in seattle to be an animal control officer. 

I think I need to have a better diet and some sort of work out routine, not having a stable schedule, no church, anti-christian sister living with me who is now moving out-thank God, not being able to get on a steady homework schedule, or workout schedule, poor diet, and no down time has got me over stressed and so the "blank drive" because of my age kicks in and I get overwhelmed with emotions that drive me nuts. 

In Christ,
Blade


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 14, 2006)

I'll pray for you even more, brother. Also that you will be able to make a schedule and stick with it. I'll have at least 14 units next semester and will be working as well, so I kinda know how you feel about needing to stick to a strict schedule and no play-time  Just remember that we'll both have lots more time to play after school :bigsmile:


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

and that should answer your u2u as well. 

Thank you for your prayers. I've started to feel better these past couploe of days. 

blade


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 14, 2006)

glad to hear it!  get on the IM, silly moose.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

Sheesh... woman 

anything for susan:bigsmile:


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

> _Originally posted by ~~Susita~~_
> glad to hear it!  get on the IM, silly moose.


 Actually, stay off the IM public rooms, particularly YIM. Just use IM selectively from people from select places like Puritanboard, and people you know in person. Besides, friendships/relationships with women can only properly be cultivated in person, and you would make a mistake in pouring your heart out over the internet, especially to a stranger. You ought to just focus on cultivating in person platonic friendships with the ladies. 

(And watch out for cute 17 year-old girls hitting on you in chatrooms. They're really donut-eating cops pretending to be cute 17 year-old girls.)


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

I only talk to Susan - nosey!!


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 14, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Puritanhead_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by ~~Susita~~_
> ...



Why would I pour my heart out to other girls or seek to cultivate platonic relationships with ladies or hit on girls in chat rooms? 0.o


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

> _Originally posted by ~~Susita~~_
> Why would I pour my heart out to other girls or seek to cultivate platonic relationships with ladies or hit on girls in chat rooms? 0.o


I was talking to Nathan.


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 14, 2006)

OH! :bigsmile:


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

Susan is not 17 though so there!!


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

Hey it's the twenty-first century. Get a robot with a woman's voice to keep you company. The robot could have a remote control with a mute button. If only all women came with a remote control and a mute button.


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 14, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Puritanhead_
> Hey it's the twenty-first century. Get a robot with a woman's voice to keep you company. The robot could have a remote control with a mute button. If only all women came with a remote control and a mute button.



Exactly that way we could use it on you.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

robots dont flirt like Susan. Plus it would eventually find out Im a geek or dork and leave......


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 14, 2006)

0.0


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

semantics.......


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)




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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

see am I or am I not saying what you think I may or may not be saying. Its one of those known unknowns that Donald Rumsfeld talks about.


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

Just because women will flirt with you doesn't mean they're interested. I knew women in college that would lead multiple guys on at the same time, and they were doing it for their own selfish amusement because they like attention or just surveying the prospective guys. Some women are very duplicitious and manipulative creatures that like to toy with guy's emotions. I'm speaking from experience. Regrettably, most guys get hurt by women, before they learn the cold realities, even if those same guys receive prior warning. Consider yourself warned!!


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

Susan is a nice girl !


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Bladestunner316_
> Susan is a nice girl !


 No arguments there.

I was speaking about flirty women in general by the way.


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 14, 2006)

thank-you, glad y'all got that clear so I didn't have to say something.

Ryan, I saw your other thread and know what you mean. 'ing for you.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

*For Ryan....*







or her


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

Ryan,
Im holding out on Susan I except Yes she is blonde but there is still good in her I can feel it. Feel it like Joe Smith with Heartburn and a backpack full of golden plates!!


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)




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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

why is that a can of worms
????????????????????????


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

your Hubris so unrational!!!


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

Hot aint she???


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

I was throwing the can of worms on there after you posted robot pictures...


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)

Fine throw straw men at me.......


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

> _Originally posted by ~~Susita~~_
> OH! :bigsmile:


 You're definitely blonde.


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 14, 2006)




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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

How's The World Treating You? - James Taylor and Allison Krauss

Country music.... the last refuge of a depressed lonely scoundrel...


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## Gregg (Aug 14, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Puritanhead_
> Regrettably, most guys get hurt by women, before they learn the cold realities, even if those same guys receive prior warning.



I've been a member of that group.


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## Puritanhead (Aug 14, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Gregg_
> 
> 
> > _Originally posted by Puritanhead_
> ...


 Join the club Greg. _The hurt by manipulative, narcissistic women club_.


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## BJClark (Aug 15, 2006)

What is it your looking for in a young woman?

Are you attracted to a specific look? A certain personality? It's a given you'd want a growing Christian woman. But do you want to go on Missions trips? If so, you would want a wife who also has that calling, so that you can serve together.

From personal experience, You don't necessarily want someone who is either way more mature in her walk or way less mature in her walk, because either way, one of you may begin to feel pressured or frustrated in your growth, when we grow in God's timing not someone elses, or even our own. So you want someone who is about equal where you are in your own spiritual walk, and you can actually grow together. 

Write out a list of all of the things you want in a wife, and partner, help-meet, and pray about. Also pray and ask God if there is anything on your list that has wrong motives behind them, so that you can change those.

Get involved in a Singles Ministry. if your interested in things like Missions or serving in Youth Ministry, volunteer in those areas. Because those are the places you will most likely meet someone who has those same interests and the same calling on their heart where you can serve along side each other.

As a mother this is the same advice I give my daughters to make a list of the qualities they want in a husband one day, and to pray about it, and get involved in those areas of service they feel God leading them, as that is where they will most likely meet the man God has for them.

[Edited on 8-15-2006 by BJClark]


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 15, 2006)

Good Advice Bobbi!


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## BJClark (Aug 15, 2006)

Something about the list...

Be as SPECIFIC as possible, I know that might sound silly, but God cares about those things too. Think about it, if He cared enough to number the hairs on our heads (even if it's none) then He cares about things we might think are silly.

If you want someone who can make you laugh, and that can honestly laugh at your jokes, then pray about it.

I think you mentioned something about meeting someone who hasn't dated, so add that to your list, others might think it's silly, but if it's something that is important to you, add it.

If you want lots of kids and yet don't care if you adopt or if they are your own flesh, then pray about that too. Because you really want a wife who is in agreement in those areas. And in the same vein if you don't want kids because you desire to spend more time in missions and traveling doing that, then pray about that too.

My youngest daughter is prone to seizures, and knows that having children of her own may one day present problems, because of the medication she has to take, and she doesn't want to risk harming an infant if she's holding them and has a seizure, so she's added praying for a husband who is willing to adopt older children to her list, as well as for God to help her accept it, if she never has any children even adopted children if that is His will for her. 

My point is, there is nothing you shouldn't add to your list, if you think it's important, but as you pray about it, ask God if there are things that He desires to you to change on your list and be open to those changes. 

because your idea of the perfect for you help-mate, might not be God's idea of the perfect for you help-mate.

Something else, about the volunteering in an area you desire to serve, it opens up things you have in common to talk about, therefore making it easier to talk to women. 

[Edited on 8-15-2006 by BJClark]


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## BJClark (Aug 15, 2006)

Something else for you to pray about is that God will work in you the qualities you will need to be the Godly leader your future wife needs you to be,


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 15, 2006)

> _Originally posted by BJClark_
> Something else for you to pray about is that God will work in you the qualities you will need to be the Godly leader your future wife needs you to be,



Yes, something I often pray about for my future husband. 

Do indeed pray for your future wife.


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## BJClark (Aug 16, 2006)

Puritanhead,



> Regrettably, most guys get hurt by women, before they learn the cold realities, even if those same guys receive prior warning.



The sad truth is, many women have been hurt by the same type and many other sinful behaviors from men.

Now back to the orginally scheduled topic...

Nathan,

And something that would be helpful for you as a young man, not yet dating or married, is to talk to older couples and ask them to share with you struggles they've had within their marriages and how they have worked through them. What they would have done differently. what things they wish they would have learned earlier in their marriages.

Things you can be learning about yourself before you meet this lovely lady:

how do you handle conflict? 

Something to consider when working through disagreements and conflicts is that you will come from different directions to solve a problem. TAKE the best of BOTH and implement those. One may look at what they think is most logical, the other may look at how it's missing how that decision will effect everyone, so take take the time to consider all points, and work towards the most logical that takes everything else into consideration. 
And never critize an opinion just because it might not sound logical to you, because then, your not allowing the help-mate God gave you--to the best of your ability and she will lose respect for you.

What are your views and expecations of what it means to leave and cleave?

What are your views towards money? Are you a saver or a spender?

Do you want a wife who stays home and takes care of the house? Or one who works outside the home? If she works outside the home, will her income be for savings? or to help pay bills? 

If your future wife is to work outside the home, do you also have expectations of her doing all the household chores and cooking when she gets home? or will you be helping?

If/When God blesses you with children, who do you *expect* to be the most active in raising them? What do you expect your role to be in parenting your children as they go through the various stages of childhood? If you both work outside the home, who do you 'expect' will leave work to take the children to doctors appt.'s and such if they are sick?

Don't take this wrong, but most men, say they 'expect' to take an active role in parenting, but then they don't. And the biggest reason I have found they don't, is because when the children are infants, the wife, or their mothers or mother in laws, for whatever reason believe the husband isn't 'doing' something right, and pushes the husband aside and does it herself. When the reality is, it's not that he's doing whatever wrong, he's just doing it differently than she would. And thus starts a very long cycle of the husband not feeling respected by his wife.

Take time to think about your views concerning submission. Not only concerning a wife being submissive to a husband, BUT also about what it means for YOU to be submissive to God, as your head, and what that means in terms of your being the head of your family.

What are your views of work over family? Do you desire to work how ever many hours it takes to get to the top of a company or to get that next promotion even if it means taking more time away from your family?

What type of lifestyle do you want or expect to have?

What are your views towards sex? Not in terms of it's for marriage, but more your views on the frequency, and whats taboo for marriage and what isn't. 

I realize these things may seem pre-mature in that you are not even dating yet, however, they are some of the biggest problem areas within marriages, and in that you are looking towards marriage one day, they are things you need to be thinking about. 

Unfortunately most churches teach these things AFTER a couple is already married, or go over them a little in pre-marriage counseling, or they believe the parents should be teaching these things to their children by example, but the sad truth is, most parents aren't, and even if the children witness a parents Godly marriage doesn't mean they understand HOW to get there. 

I guess the main point here is, don't be thinking within the midset of a checklist of things that need to be done in order to get and be married, But more in terms of what kind of marriage you want to have, and what it will take from you to have that. Having a great marriage takes work, it doesn't just happen. And once your married and have kids, it doesn't mean you stop doing the things you did to win your bride to marry her, you continue to implement those things through out the years of your marriage.



[Edited on 8-16-2006 by BJClark]


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## Puritanhead (Aug 16, 2006)

> _Originally posted by BJClark_
> Puritanhead,
> 
> 
> ...


 A point well-made BJ.

I think what we can learn is that we should seek _a Christian_ spouse that affirms not just Christ, but demonstrates maturity, a deep abiding faith, concern for others, and some measure of selflishness in regards for their mate's best interests.


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## jaybird0827 (Aug 16, 2006)

Bobbi,

Good post. You really "fleshed out" some of the things I was trying to encourage these guys to think about.


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## BJClark (Aug 16, 2006)

caleb_woodrow,

With all due respect, don't take rejection personally.

Find out and really get to know yourself, and who YOU are in Christ as a person, as a man, and as His child.

If your looking for someone other than Christ to complete you, when someone turns you down or rejects your advances your going to go into a tailspin of hurt and bitterness, because your believing someone else can make you happy or not.

most women could care less if a man works out, and/or lifts weights, it's not the outward appearance most women are drawn to, sure might catch their eye, but that is not what keeps them attracted, it is the inward man that truly holds a womans attention.

Nathan,

That is something else for you to consider, what is your view of what it means to be a man, and if I may make a suggestion, do a study on Boaz
and see the various ways he protected his future bride.

[Edited on 8-16-2006 by BJClark]


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## ~~Susita~~ (Aug 16, 2006)

> _Originally posted by BJClark_
> most women could care less if a man works out, and/or lifts weights, it's not the outward appearance most women are drawn to, sure might catch their eye, but that is not what keeps them attracted, it is the inward man that truly holds a womans attention.


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## Cheshire Cat (Aug 16, 2006)

> _Originally posted by BJClark_
> caleb_woodrow,
> 
> With all due respect, don't take rejection personally.
> ...



No worries. I don't take rejection personally at all. It was just something that I needed to experience to take away my shyness, because really its not a big deal at all. You have to take risks, and one shouldn't worry because God will work everything according to his will. Christ completes me, and in my search for a wife I am looking for a woman to compliment me. 



> _Originally posted by BJClark_
> most women could care less if a man works out, and/or lifts weights, it's not the outward appearance most women are drawn to, sure might catch their eye, but that is not what keeps them attracted, it is the inward man that truly holds a womans attention.


I would agree, but physical atrraction is necessary as well as other aspects. It sure helps to treat your body well and train your physical body just as one trains their mind. I understand where you are coming from and I thank you for your advice. ~Caleb

[Edited on 8-17-2006 by caleb_woodrow]


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## Bladestunner316 (Aug 17, 2006)

Bobbi,
That is alot to think through.


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## Puritanhead (Aug 17, 2006)

Lift weights and workout man! Women like muscle! Women just don't admit it. Besides, the Bible says, "bodily exercise profits a little..." and exercise is its own reward. Christian women usually want an all-around guy who is strong, intelligent, and of good character. The Christian women typically only start negating concern for the former characteristics, and focus more on the later, when they think they are becoming _old maids_. Somebody tell me I'm right, because I know I am not wrong.


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## MW (Aug 17, 2006)

> _Originally posted by Puritanhead_
> Besides, the Bible says, "bodily exercise profits a little..." and exercise is its own reward.



This text is often misunderstood/misquoted. The exercise spoken of is physical abstinence. And the word "little" is really conveying the idea of "not worth the effort."


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## Puritanhead (Aug 17, 2006)

withdrawn after reading Calvin... 

[Edited on 8-18-2006 by Puritanhead]


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## MW (Aug 18, 2006)

Ryan,

Please read the beginning of the chapter about forbidding to marry and commanding to abstain from meats. That is the bodily exercise the apostle is referring to. Then for the context of "profiteth little," go back to verse 7, where the apostle says to "refuse profane and old wives´ fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness." Verse 8 mentions the little profit of bodily (ascetic) exercise as a reason why Timothy should refuse the one and exercise himself rather to godliness. At least consider reading Calvin on the passage.


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