# A Southern Security System



## Blueridge Believer (Aug 14, 2007)

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH!

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns &Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines. 

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and Magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:


Hey Bubba,

Big Jim, Duke, Slim, Patty and I went for more ammunition.

Back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning 

and they messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but
it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

We'll be right back.


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## LadyFlynt (Aug 14, 2007)

Yep, sounds redneck to me. Hubby already has offers from his best friend (a redneck Spaniard  ), my brother, my daddy, and an "Uncle Bernie" to come sit on the front porch and clean guns with him when our girls reach courtin' age!


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## MrMerlin777 (Aug 14, 2007)

Here's another hillbilly security system.


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## Contra_Mundum (Aug 14, 2007)

I recognize that hardware.

But mine has the combat stock, with handy slots for more shells.

Love that heat shield above the barrel, eh? Don't have a sling, though.


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## AV1611 (Aug 14, 2007)

MrMerlin777 said:


> Here's another hillbilly security system.



Illegal here in the UK


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## VictorBravo (Aug 14, 2007)

AV1611 said:


> MrMerlin777 said:
> 
> 
> > Here's another hillbilly security system.
> ...



That's too bad. In my home state something like that was a standard wedding present, along with rolling pins and cast-iron cookware.


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## RamistThomist (Aug 14, 2007)

victorbravo said:


> AV1611 said:
> 
> 
> > MrMerlin777 said:
> ...



It doesn't always function as a present in weddings. 

This amendment enforces and protects all other amendments.


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## VictorBravo (Aug 14, 2007)

Spear Dane said:


> It doesn't always function as a present in weddings.



Yes, the bride's father would hand it over after the ceremony!


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## Calvibaptist (Aug 14, 2007)

Blueridge Baptist said:


> HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH!
> 
> 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.
> 
> ...



This only works if the would-be crook is from the North. Everyone else in the south already knows Big Jim, Duke, Slim, Patty and Bubba and probably have a few extra ducks they just shot in the back of their pickup that they can throw to the dogs.


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## MrMerlin777 (Aug 14, 2007)

victorbravo said:


> AV1611 said:
> 
> 
> > MrMerlin777 said:
> ...



Back in some of the hills where I'm from, in some situations these are still used to ensure a wedding takes place.


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## jbergsing (Aug 14, 2007)

Contra_Mundum said:


> I recognize that hardware.
> 
> But mine has the combat stock, with handy slots for more shells.
> 
> Love that heat shield above the barrel, eh? Don't have a sling, though.


If you're using it for security, you ain't gonna be needin' a sling!


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## turmeric (Aug 14, 2007)

Problem is, you have to be home to use the device!


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## AV1611 (Aug 15, 2007)

victorbravo said:


> That's too bad. In my home state something like that was a standard wedding present, along with rolling pins and cast-iron cookware.


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