# Granting Preferred Terms Versus Holding Ideological Ground



## Ben Mordecai (Apr 9, 2018)

There are certain times when we are disposed to use preferred terms and terms of respect. For example, when Paul is making his defense, he calls the not-so-honorable Festus, "Most honorable Festus." This seems obviously appropriate. Festus had a vocation worthy of honor so Paul granted him that honor but did not shrink from telling him the truth. Nevertheless, Paul certainly was aware of Festus' dishonorable behavior. 

If we were ever disposed to testify in an American court where we knew that a judge was, say, responsible for defending legalized abortion, we would probably still call him, "Your honor" as is proper in a courtroom setting, even though they are worthy of dishonor for perverting the truth.

Yet, I do not feel at all comfortable with granting preferred terms associated with the sexual revolution, like "Gay, [implying happiness]," "Transgender, [implying a distinction between biological sex and gender]" "he [for a person born a woman]," "she [for a person born a man]" and so on. 

Referring to a person as a "homosexual" is seen as ignorant, kind of like saying, "the blacks." Though it is not a term of derision, it is looked down upon. Yet "homosexual" is the literal truth, while "gay" is a term of endearment that was commandeered for the purpose of creating the suggestion that to be a male homosexual is to have a light-hearted happy demeanor. However, I feel like if I were to hold my ground and mention that the person is a "homosexual" I would be very alienating to them and unlikely able to love my neighbor to them in a practical way. I could see granting a person their preferred term of "gay" for the sake of keeping the peace and choosing my battles, just like I might call a Papist a "Catholic" to their face, even though I don't believe they are the universal church but simply unduly loyal to the papacy.

Then it gets even more complicated for transsexuality because transsexuals tend to see it as a personal offense to call them by their real sex instead of their preferred sex. This involves not merely granting their preference, but lying to them. 

Then in the wider public sphere, if you even grant the vocabulary of "gay rights," "gay marriage," "trans rights," "reproductive justice" etc. the argument is already lost. The godly position on these issues depends on the understanding that no one has the right to commit sexual immorality or murder.

Does anyone have any helpful thoughts on how to truly, actually love my neighbor who is confused and rebelling against God's design and show *kindness* to them without granting these positions or misleading them? Are there times when you should or should not grant a term that you know they prefer?


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