# Reuniting with spouse in heaven?



## nwink

If you talk with any believer whose spouse has died, he/she will say the first person he/she wants to see in heaven (after Christ) is his/her earthly spouse. Christ said there will be no marriage in heaven. There is a lot we don't know about heaven. Is it a proper expectation to have to be greatly anticipating reuniting with one's deceased spouse in heaven...or is that being too "worldly"? (I intend this as both a theological and a pastoral question - please keep that in mind when responding.)


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## Paul1976

I see nothing worldly or about love for a fellow believer, especially a spouse. There is no reason in my mind not to expect that love for fellow believers, commanded in this life, will not continue into the next life. While it is clear we will not have marriage any longer (except to Christ), it does not seem unreasonable to expect friendship to continue.


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## a mere housewife

It should be obvious that I'm not a pastor; but I have lost some loved ones and know what it is to wish to see them again. Our experience of love for one another here is shattered not only by sin but by our whole experience of death. Yet love is as strong as death. The love between believers on earth is already eternal, already a small piece of heaven we carry in our hearts. Our sins, disagreements, sometimes even estrangements will pass away; death itself will be swallowed up; but the love we are cultivating for one another will abide all of that. I think the longing is part of the eternal experience, the abidingness, of the nature of love. It's the flip side of it. Perhaps too, in the analogy that marriage and other earthly love is to the love the Lord bears us, and we are learning to bear to Him, the intense longing people experience to reunite with a loved one is part of learning better to long for our Lord -- and of learning how He longs for us (John 17:24, Revelation 22:17).


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## Peairtach

> But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. (I Thess 4:13-14,ESV)



It's a deep mystery how there is no marriage in the next world, if there are men and women there, but we are told explicitly to look forward to meeting saints we have known, and haven't known, who have departed.


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## Jerusalem Blade

My wife is my closest friend here on earth; we have helped one another on this pilgrimage to City Celestial; I see no reason why we cannot live together as brother and sister on New Earth if we so wish, and Jesus shows us it is fitting.


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## Sola Gratia

Jerusalem Blade said:


> My wife is my closest friend here on earth; we have helped one another on this pilgrimage to City Celestial; I see no reason why we cannot live together as brother and sister on New Earth if we so wish, and Jesus shows us it is fitting.


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## Cymro

To dwell in the perfection of love in Christ; the perfection of sinlessness; the blessed unity of spiritual
concourse and holy existence, and full participation in the endless adoration of the Glory of God
in the face of the altogether lovely One, perhaps will remove the need of that intimate relationship
that is necessary for this present time. We shall be as the elect angels who have never known a 
fallen world as this, or the mystery of marriage. Dwelling in an environment of love that has a length
that is infinite, a breadth that cannot be measured, a depth that is plumbless, and extraordinarily, a
height that equates with God. Is it not another dimension, and therefore to apply that which is now, to
that which is then, may be the result of our conditioned thinking? Marriage wonderfully is a precursor of
the church and Christ, and the fullness of that realisation will be eternally enjoyed.
By the way , I dearly love my wife.


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## jwithnell

I suspect we'll be able to love more people more rather than one (or a few people less). In other words, our spouses will still be very special to us, but without the effects of the fall, we'll be able to love others more fully than we can here. Can't quote chapter or verse on this, just some observations


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## Phil D.

I guess I'm more optimistic than some appear to be here that a special relationship will still be retained between spouses even in heaven. While there won't be "marriage" as presently defined, I base this hope on several principles: 

(1) The two have been united together as one flesh. 
(2) While I don't suppose the physical relationship between spouses will be exactly the same as on earth (procreation), even in their glorified state our bodies are still flesh and blood (ala Jesus' post-resurrection body, which is the prototypical example.)
(3) We rightly pronounce here on earth that "what God has united, let no man put asunder" - why then would God dissolve all aspects of this special covenantal bond, which is akin to His own union with His entire church? 

I may well be wrong in this. But I am content knowing that whatever relationships spouses have in glory, it will be perfect.


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## THE W

Cymro said:


> To dwell in the perfection of love in Christ; the perfection of sinlessness; the blessed unity of spiritual
> concourse and holy existence, and full participation in the endless adoration of the Glory of God
> in the face of the altogether lovely One, perhaps will remove the need of that intimate relationship
> that is necessary for this present time. We shall be as the elect angels who have never known a
> fallen world as this, or the mystery of marriage. Dwelling in an environment of love that has a length
> that is infinite, a breadth that cannot be measured, a depth that is plumbless, and extraordinarily, a
> height that equates with God. Is it not another dimension, and therefore to apply that which is now, to
> that which is then, may be the result of our conditioned thinking? Marriage wonderfully is a precursor of
> the church and Christ, and the fullness of that realisation will be eternally enjoyed.
> By the way , I dearly love my wife.




i would have to agree with this post.

i think it says in the confession that the chief purpose of man is to glorify God and enjoy HIM forever. Jesus says in matthew 22:29-30 about no one being married or given in marriage but that we'll be angels in heaven tells us that we're not gonna be worried about our spouses because we'll be completely and utterly smitten with God and so will they when we're in our redeemed, sinless, perfected, and Holy nature.


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## nwink

I think if one takes 2 Sam 12:23 as David looking forward to reuniting with his son in heaven, I think it would be appropriate to expect the same eager anticipation of reuniting with one's spouse in heaven.


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## Kim G

What of those who have been divorced and remarried? Or those whose spouse, though Christian, has been overbearing or abusive? Or absent? How would you answer this question for an unhappy marriage?


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## a mere housewife

jwithnell said:


> I suspect we'll be able to love more people more rather than one (or a few people less). In other words, our spouses will still be very special to us, but without the effects of the fall, we'll be able to love others more fully than we can here. Can't quote chapter or verse on this, just some observations



Jean, I think this is true. In heaven surely Christ's prayer will be answered that we will all be one. I do not think even the closest earthly union can approach the unity we will have in heaven in perfect love. Kim, I wonder if the perfect love that we will all have for one another does not answer some of that difficulty. Here on earth we are filled with a number of natural, healthy -- and also imperfect responses to those who hurt us. If we should find them in heaven I do not think we will respond with fear, or with pain. Perhaps all memory of such heartache will be gone; perhaps it will simply be so swallowed up in an utter reality of love that it is like a dream from which we have awoken to their and our true and eternal selves? I know it is a hope of some divorced friends that though they may never heal that relationship on earth, they would find it healed in heaven.


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## Paul1976

Kim G said:


> What of those who have been divorced and remarried? Or those whose spouse, though Christian, has been overbearing or abusive? Or absent? How would you answer this question for an unhappy marriage?



Most Christians are wronged by fellow Christians at some point in their lives. We are all imperfect in this life. So, there will be individuals in heaven who have wronged us. In light of how seriously the best of us have wronged the God of the universe, even the most grievous offenses in this life are trivial. Undoubtedly, they will no longer be issues, and we will love our brothers and sisters in Christ perfectly, including those who wronged us in this life. 

I do not believe any posters (including myself) assume believe our relationship to our spouse will be fundamentally different than our relationship to other believers. The consensus is that it seems reasonable to expect relationships to spouses in heaven may be deeper than between believers we never knew in this life, but I do not believe anyone has argued that they have to be.

Along this line, I would also expect that there will be a number of individuals who are married several times (whether due to death of a spouse or divorce). I would expect that, for example, a wife may have married two husbands during her life. It would surprise me if the three would not all be close friends in heaven with no difficulty over what would be awkward in this life. We're past what I think we can safely believe from the scripture at this point, of course.


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## THE W

nwink said:


> I think if one takes 2 Sam 12:23 as David looking forward to reuniting with his son in heaven, I think it would be appropriate to expect the same eager anticipation of reuniting with one's spouse in heaven.



David speaking in his imperfect fallen nature in an imperfect fallen world.


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