# When should I marry?



## TheThirdandReformedAdam (Jul 18, 2017)

A pretty difficult personal problem here:
I am leaving southern West Virginia in the fall of 2018 to attend Westminster (about an 8 hour drive). However, at that time the woman I intend to marry would still have one more year left until she completes her undergrad in education. If she were to remain in WV during that year, she would come out of college with absolutely no debt. However, if she were to finish her degree in Pennsylvania, we would be many thousands of dollars in debt (since the cost of out-of-state tuition is much higher).

To be clear: We both believe that marriage should not be delayed for long periods of time and that financial burdens are to be accepted for the sake of marriage. However, we simply do not believe it would be wise to marry now and place such a large financial burden on our heads (especially since I am not sure how much I will be able to work while attending Westminster).

Are we making the right decision?


----------



## Stope (Jul 18, 2017)

There will never be an ideal fiscal situation so just do it. Also, its better to marry than burn. Also, the mandate is for us to be fruitful and take dominion, NOT to FIRST line up your finances and THEN be fruitful

Marriage is awesome. Do it! God is good!

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## arapahoepark (Jul 18, 2017)

If you intend to marry then, could you delay your Westminster seminary plans? Could they defer it? Why do you plan on going to seminary in the first place? Do you have a calling to the ministry? Do what is best for her first.

Reactions: Like 3


----------



## TheThirdandReformedAdam (Jul 18, 2017)

arapahoepark said:


> If you intend to marry then, could you delay your Westminster seminary plans? Could they defer it? Why do you plan on going to seminary in the first place? Do you have a calling to the ministry? Do what is best for her first.


Yes, I am going for train for the ministry. Marrying and then waiting a year is an option, though, if I am honest, I also hate the idea of delaying my studies since I am already a year behind and I believe it will take an extended period of time to finish my grad studies. I simply hate to draw that out any longer than I must, though I understand that, by _not _drawing out my studies I _am _potentially drawing out my marriage.

Also, after speaking to representatives of Westminster, they say that if I stay on track with my studies, they wouldn't recommend working any more than 20 hours a week. But, if I have a wife and (probably) children while I'm at school, I am going to need some more financial help. This is where her education degree may come in handy. The desire to marry is great, but also is the desire to avoid foolishness.


----------



## Edward (Jul 18, 2017)

The first year of marriage can be stressful enough without running up a mountain of debt. 

Get Skype, immerse yourself in your studies, work part time as able, and save up. 

Or get married now, work for a year after you graduate and start working on the languages to make that easier, and then start fresh in Philly when she graduates and you have a bit of money saved up and an employable wife.


----------



## iainduguid (Jul 18, 2017)

Edward said:


> The first year of marriage can be stressful enough without running up a mountain of debt.
> 
> Get Skype, immerse yourself in your studies, work part time as able, and save up.
> 
> Or get married now, work for a year after you graduate and start working on the languages to make that easier, and then start fresh in Philly when she graduates and you have a bit of money saved up and an employable wife.


I'd commend Edward's second option here; if you have the option to work on languages, that would be great. WTS now also has some online courses available, such as Apologetics, which would enable you to chip away at your studies. More will be forthcoming in the near future. 
I understand the temptation to feel that you are "behind" in life, but even if you are not where you had hoped to be, you are never behind in God's plan. Getting a good foundation for your marriage is far more important than keeping up with a timeline.

Reactions: Like 4


----------



## ZackF (Jul 19, 2017)

This may be too obvious but don't spend a redonkulus amount of money on the wedding.

Reactions: Like 3


----------



## greenbaggins (Jul 19, 2017)

iainduguid said:


> I'd commend Edward's second option here; if you have the option to work on languages, that would be great. WTS now also has some online courses available, such as Apologetics, which would enable you to chip away at your studies. More will be forthcoming in the near future.
> I understand the temptation to feel that you are "behind" in life, but even if you are not where you had hoped to be, you are never behind in God's plan. Getting a good foundation for your marriage is far more important than keeping up with a timeline.



Always a good idea to listen to one of your future profs. Especially one who has some good insights into marriage vis-a-vis his Song of Songs research!

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## Parakaleo (Jul 19, 2017)

Since no one else has asked, I'll be the one. I pray this would be received in love, as it is given.

Why is your future-wife's completion of college so important? I mean, it sounds as if her college education is of _such great importance_ that you, a man, would be willing to either *delay marriage for a year* or else *delay preparation for ministry by a year*. Everyone on here seems to be okay with this. But, why? Does your future-wife need a college degree to do what God is calling her to do as a wife? Or, do you expect your future-wife to be a significant wage-earner in the home? Is that a good way to prepare for a life of ministry?


----------



## TheThirdandReformedAdam (Jul 19, 2017)

Parakaleo said:


> Since no one else has asked, I'll be the one. I pray this would be received in love, as it is given.
> 
> Why is your future-wife's completion of college so important? I mean, it sounds as if her college education is of _such great importance_ that you, a man, would be willing to either *delay marriage for a year* or else *delay preparation for ministry by a year*. Everyone on here seems to be okay with this. But, why? Does your future-wife need a college degree to do what God is calling her to do as a wife? Or, do you expect your future-wife to be a significant wage-earner in the home? Is that a good way to prepare for a life of ministry?


Well said, no offense taken. It is not that we plan for her to be a significant wage-earner, but we _do _think it would be wise to endure one year in order that she has the _potential _to provide financial support while I am limited in the amount I can make while studying (which will most likely be a 10+ year effort). But, as has been pointed out by others above, it seems that I will not be forced to delay preparation for ministry, as I should be able to take online courses.

Thank you all for your counsel, it has been incredibly beneficial.


----------



## Southern Presbyterian (Jul 19, 2017)

What do your Elders advise? They know you and your future wife best.

Reactions: Like 3


----------



## Ask Mr. Religion (Jul 19, 2017)

Southern Presbyterian said:


> What do your Elders advise? They know you and your future wife best.


Indeed.


----------



## TheThirdandReformedAdam (Jul 19, 2017)

Southern Presbyterian said:


> What do your Elders advise? They know you and your future wife best.


As some on the board may know, I come from a non-denominational church with little to no governing structure. As a result, such advice is not available to me.


----------



## greenbaggins (Jul 19, 2017)

At the risk of sounding patriarchal, I have never been excessively happy with the idea of wives putting their husbands through school. My wife worked a bit while I was in seminary, but only for extra spending money and for fun (and only while we didn't have any children), not for any of the normal support of the household. I worked at Cracker Barrel and teaching piano lessons while I was in seminary. The first year of seminary we were not married. I took a LOT of classes during that unmarried year so that I could ease up on the later years. So, in years 2-4, I worked part-time at good jobs, and studied part time. I was very busy, but my wife did not have to work. That was important for me. I will not say that a husband would be sinning by having his wife work for support during that time. But having that situation would almost ensure that you could have no children for quite a while. As Dr. Duguid mentioned, your marriage is far more important. If you both work and you do school, you will hardly ever have time for each other. The stresses of the ministry are hard enough on a marriage without adding those additional stresses beforehand.

Reactions: Like 2


----------



## Parakaleo (Jul 19, 2017)

greenbaggins said:


> I have never been excessively happy with the idea of wives putting their husbands through school.



Ditto for me. It took me seven years to complete seminary training. We started with one child and ended with five. In that time, my the Lord sustained us through my work. It was never easy, but we had food, clothing, a place to live, and much contentment (1 Tim. 6:8).

I have seen unhappy scenarios played out in a number of seminary families where a wife works to support a husband and child-bearing is long delayed. I have seen others bearing children and deciding to have the husband watch babies while a wife works, just because it's easier to keep the wife's income and health coverage. I once heard a sr. pastor tell me about a pastoral intern/seminary student in his church asking permission to bring their newborn with him to the church offices so he could study and care for the baby while his wife was out working her real-estate job.

I would lovingly encourage you to think through what it says about a would-be minister, someone called to be an example of piety to the people of God, having his wife work outside the home and support him financially in seminary. Especially in light of the present confusion surrounding the roles of husband and wife in the home.

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## TheThirdandReformedAdam (Jul 19, 2017)

Thank you for your advice. I fully intend to take on the bulk of financial burden, and, if necessary, I will take less classes a semester in order to make certain that she can stay at home at take care of our children. Neither of us have a desire to place her in a position where she is forced to provide large financial support.


----------



## RamistThomist (Jul 19, 2017)

Even supposing the wife worked, what kind of work? If she is a nurse of something like that, then it is financially doable. But if you are trying to pay rent, high tuition, possibly insurance, and maybe childcare, then working as a cashier at 7-11 isn't going to cut it. 

You could take out loans, but it's hard to get excited about going 20,000 in debt working at a low paying job for the rest of your calling (advice a professor actually gave me, which I rejected). I know, I know, you can't put a price tag on kingdom work, but then there is the Bible's take on stewardship.

Reactions: Like 2 | Amen 1


----------



## TheThirdandReformedAdam (Jul 19, 2017)

ReformedReidian said:


> Even supposing the wife worked, what kind of work? If she is a nurse of something like that, then it is financially doable. But if you are trying to pay rent, high tuition, possibly insurance, and maybe childcare, then working as a cashier at 7-11 isn't going to cut it.
> 
> You could take out loans, but it's hard to get excited about going 20,000 in debt working at a low paying job for the rest of your calling (advice a professor actually gave me, which I rejected). I know, I know, you can't put a price tag on kingdom work, but then there is the Bible's take on stewardship.


I will be teaching secondary English, so hopefully I will make enough money to support us during that time (though we certainly won't be "living the dream")


----------



## ZackF (Jul 19, 2017)

On the piece about your wife's education, something came to mind...if her parents have been paying for her education then you may want to respect that by letting her get her degree. Leaving and cleaving doesn't negate all previously made or implied obligations providing that they are licit. Besides there is difference between three years of college toward a degree on one hand and a single semester on the other. You may die and she may have to work to support children depending on the situation.

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## smhbbag (Jul 20, 2017)

> I have seen unhappy scenarios played out in a number of seminary families where a wife works to support a husband and child-bearing is long delayed. I have seen others bearing children and deciding to have the husband watch babies while a wife works, just because it's easier to keep the wife's income and health coverage. I once heard a sr. pastor tell me about a pastoral intern/seminary student in his church asking permission to bring their newborn with him to the church offices so he could study and care for the baby while his wife was out working her real-estate job.
> 
> I would lovingly encourage you to think through what it says about a would-be minister, someone called to be an example of piety to the people of God, having his wife work outside the home and support him financially in seminary. Especially in light of the present confusion surrounding the roles of husband and wife in the home.



It is clear that this is not the way it should be done, but I disagree about where the failure lies. In most cases, I'd put essentially no blame on the man of little means whose wife works to pay for seminary, or whose wife works after seminary, or the lay man whose wife works. The world has changed. It used to be that any man willing to work could be guaranteed to have enough means to have a roof and a basic, no frills lifestyle. A little more work could pay for a modest tuition or slow progress through school. That is simply no longer the case.

I have dozens of seminary coworkers, and I've seen more than a few nervous breakdowns from overwork trying to provide for kids, pay for seminary, and pass classes. I've seen a man referred by his employer to substance-abuse resources because everything about him looked and acted like a meth-addict. He was just a regular seminary guy who had gotten 2-3 hours of sleep per night for a few years. He wasn't addicted to anything except trying to provide for his family.

The choices are often:

1) high debt
2) have hree jobs, classes, and multiple commutes leaving a man away from his family for 80+ hours/week for 5-8 years.
3) Wife works.

Even those not in seminary are in a similar boat. The wage situation for young men with families is just about untenable in large areas of the country.

I'm just an average lay 32 year old with 4 kids under 5, with hopes for a lot more. My wife and I both work about 30 hours a week, but we do not have to use paid child care because we are lucky and our schedules mesh well. She is able to work some from home. There is no blow to headship from such a situation. I could have provided for us by myself at a much lower level (our lifestyle would still be the same - super cheap and in a very small house - but we wouldn't be able to save).

But we would have less time together and my kids would barely know me. My burden would be higher. My wife's burden would be higher. The kids would be worse off. Everybody loses, and the only reason to put ourselves through that is if a Biblical command required it, and I simply don't see such a thing. We did that for a season when I got what others consider a great full-time job. I quit it to go back to part-time because I said goodbye to my kids on Sunday nights, and hello to them on Saturday morning. And that was only working 60 hours a week. Others are in a worse spot. Without paying off a home, there is simply no end to it. With us both working, there is an end to it. We've lived where I have to change my work schedule to escort my wife into the house after she runs for groceries, because of the sheer number of criminals around our low-rent place. 

Instead, we both work at a lower level, have more time together, and are just about completely free of debt bondage, paying off our (extremely humble) home next month. Once the home is paid off, we will probably transition to just me working reasonable hours in the next year or two. But, we have to have a paid off home just to get by in the same way as my grandparents did on one simple income from the start. It's a completely different world now.

I don't blame a man until he has the chance to work reasonable hours and still provide a minimum. Among most of the 18-35 year old male crowd, that option just isn't on the table.

Reactions: Like 3 | Amen 1


----------



## RamistThomist (Jul 20, 2017)

smhbbag said:


> It is clear that this is not the way it should be done, but I disagree about where the failure lies. In most cases, I'd put essentially no blame on the man of little means whose wife works to pay for seminary, or whose wife works after seminary, or the lay man whose wife works. The world has changed. It used to be that any man willing to work could be guaranteed to have enough means to have a roof and a basic, no frills lifestyle. A little more work could pay for a modest tuition or slow progress through school. That is simply no longer the case.
> 
> I have dozens of seminary coworkers, and I've seen more than a few nervous breakdowns from overwork trying to provide for kids, pay for seminary, and pass classes. I've seen a man referred by his employer to substance-abuse resources because everything about him looked and acted like a meth-addict. He was just a regular seminary guy who had gotten 2-3 hours of sleep per night for a few years. He wasn't addicted to anything except trying to provide for his family.
> 
> ...



Exactly. I also have known of seminarians who received their divorce papers just after they received their diplomas. 

In any case, financially the modern world is going to radically shake up, if not undo, the modern seminary structure. Technology is making other alternatives more plausible. Rising costs of living, lower wages, and the debt bubble are going to do it in.

Reactions: Amen 1


----------



## Romans922 (Jul 20, 2017)

If I were in your shoes and my wife's education was that important, I would encourage her to finish school.

Marriage ought not to be delayed, I would encourage you to get married - i.e. go ask her to marry you ASAP.

I would also encourage you if possible start your seminary training now. Does Westminster have online courses? If not, you can take them from another seminary to transfer (GPTS does online courses, for example). Do this for the first year. There are many courses that it isn't absolutely necessary to take in person (though in person is better). This way you can work and take courses online, while your wife is in school. Then you can move to Westminster. If you did take online courses from another school make sure they will transfer to Westminster.

Reactions: Like 3


----------



## ZackF (Jul 20, 2017)

smhbbag said:


> I have dozens of seminary coworkers, and I've seen more than a few nervous breakdowns from overwork trying to provide for kids, pay for seminary, and pass classes. I've seen a man referred by his employer to substance-abuse resources because everything about him looked and acted like a meth-addict. He was just a regular seminary guy who had gotten 2-3 hours of sleep per night for a few years. He wasn't addicted to anything except trying to provide for his family.



LOL. I don't know how some of you guys do it. Really I do know... it's discipline. Compared to some guys I don't have it. However, even time management and discipline can only go so far. My pastor has lamented in conversations about seminary on how many men graduate disqualified from ministry due to their debt load. My employer has great benefits including tuition aid. I attempted an MBA program earlier this summer and quickly realized it was going to kill me or turn me into a terrible husband, father and employee and so I dropped it. If I pick it up again I'll know what I'm getting into.

I am blessed to have a decent salary, especially for this part of the country, and we keep a low standard of living. My wife is at home and we home school. What is sad and heartening is that I hear at work, from single mothers to married men, that they wish mom could be at home. Most of these folks are unbelievers and some also beat the diversity drum and about women in this and women in that. Folks believe one thing but say another. If we had a jumbo mortgage payment on top of a luxury SUV and sports car payments my wife would "have" to work as well.

Every person that reports to me at work that has children, but one, is single/divorced. The "women all want careers" narrative may be popular with progressives in the PCA and the mainstream media but it doesn't conform to reality. When I am asked about my wife being chained to the kitchen I just tell them that I use cables because they make less noise.

Reactions: Like 2


----------



## ZackF (Jul 20, 2017)

Romans922 said:


> If I were in your shoes and my wife's education was that important, I would encourage her to finish school.
> 
> Marriage ought not to be delayed, I would encourage you to get married - i.e. go ask her to marry you ASAP.
> 
> I would also encourage you if possible start your seminary training now. Does Westminster have online courses? If not, you can take them from another seminary to transfer (GPTS does online courses, for example). Do this for the first year. There are many courses that it isn't absolutely necessary to take in person (though in person is better). This way you can work and take courses online, while your wife is in school. Then you can move to Westminster. If you did take online courses from another school make sure they will transfer to Westminster.



I didn't even think of the online angle. Nice call out!


----------



## Parakaleo (Jul 20, 2017)

smhbbag said:


> Once the home is paid off, we will probably transition to just me working reasonable hours in the next year or two



Why though? If things are going so well with both of you working, why not keep both incomes and bump up your standard of living a bit? Might I suggest, it is because you do realize it is better for your marriage and children if your wife labors in the home?

Of course I agree with you about rare circumstances in which a wife's work is the temporary path to sanity.

Jeremy, I know and love you, so I know you don't fall into the "my wife has to work (so we can live in a bigger house and drive later-model vehicles)" category. Yet, *so many men are this way*. It deeply saddens me. How can a pastor address this kind of man in the pews with biblical counsel about a woman's primary area of responsibility, if his own wife is working outside of the home to bring in extra income? That's a sincere question.


----------



## smhbbag (Jul 20, 2017)

> Why though? If things are going so well with both of you working, why not keep both incomes and bump up your standard of living a bit? Might I suggest, it is because you do realize it is better for your marriage and children if your wife labors in the home?
> 
> Of course I agree with you about circumstances in which a wife's work is the temporary path to sanity.



Of course it's better for my marriage and children if my wife labors in the home and I have reasonable work hours.

You're missing the point that that situation doesn't and can't exist for a significant portion of men. They can provide, but only at unreasonable hours that are much more detrimental to family life than a wife's job.

I won't put my wife to work to increase our standard of living. I put her to work so that I can still see her and know my kids. And I'm fortunate enough that her labor is productive enough that there is an end to this once we are full rid of debt-chains. For most people, they are not so blessed. They can have their wives work or they can be functionally divorced except for a weekend where they are allowed to see family. That's a really easy call.



> Jeremy, I know and love you, so I know you don't fall into the "my wife has to work (so we can live in a bigger house and drive later-model vehicles)" category. Yet, *so many men are this way*. It deeply saddens me. How can a pastor address this kind of man in the pews with biblical counsel about a woman's primary area of responsibility, if his own wife is working outside of the home to bring in extra income? That's a sincere question.



It looks like buying a bigger house, but be careful about assuming that's what it really is. It's also a real thing that the bigger, more expensive houses also exist in the areas where they don't fear their wives getting attacked on the way to the grocery store, or their kids dodging gangs to go to the park.

Offer a lot of those greedy people a small house in a safe neighborhood with a wife staying at home, and I bet more of them would jump at the chance than you'd think. Affordable houses and safe neighborhoods don't go together many places. I would also put my wife to work rather than hear gunshots every night.

Reactions: Like 2


----------



## RamistThomist (Jul 20, 2017)

ZackF said:


> My pastor has lamented in conversations about seminary on how many men graduate disqualified from ministry due to their debt load



A lot of seminaries are pricing themselves out of existence. It's beginning with Fuller.


----------



## ZackF (Jul 20, 2017)

ReformedReidian said:


> A lot of seminaries are pricing themselves out of existence. It's beginning with Fuller.



In that case the sooner the better.


----------



## RamistThomist (Jul 20, 2017)

ZackF said:


> In that case the sooner the better.



WTS PA should remain. Calvin Seminary should remain because of the library and research facilities.


----------



## fredtgreco (Jul 20, 2017)

A couple of thoughts for you to ponder:

Marriage is good. Sooner is often better than later. But later is not a disaster. I would not incur thousands in debt just to be married one year earlier.
Even if your wife is not planning to work outside the home now, she has already so much invested in her education that she should finish. She surely will not be able to easily pick her studies up again (especially after having children) so now is the time. Having her degree will help her in the event that something happens to you, or if you are not blessed with children, or in the case of some other Providence. It is not as if you are asking "should she start a four-year degree." You are more asking, "should she throw away three years of study, work and invest of dollars?" I think the answer to that is no.
One year is not a very long time. I know it may seem like that now, but in the span of a life (or a ministry life) it is a very short span of time. Take it from those of us who have only a year or two left with a child at home.
In my mind, your real decision is either: (a) put marriage off one year and start your studies, or (b) put full-time seminary off a year and earn money and take online classes while getting married. Either option could be a blessing. Both are better than going into significant debt to start a year earlier.
I have said this before, but I believe that a man should still provide for his family in seminary. At the end of the day, no Presbytery is going to care if you got Bs instead of As in classes. Bs while providing for your family is a much better option. I won't go into it here, but I think making a life's plan around getting the highest grades to do Ph.D. work and teach at a seminary is a fool's errand. There simply are not jobs out there. While I was at RTS Jackson, we had four young children (6, 5, 3, 1 month) and my wife homeschooled and handled the children at home. I worked as a lawyer, preached every week at a church, and was a teaching assistant. And I finished in 3 years. It can be done.
In the final analysis, I suggest making a decision that will most benefit you and your fiancee over the long term, not just the short term.

Reactions: Like 4


----------



## reaganmarsh (Jul 20, 2017)

You've been given a lot of good counsel in this thread, brother. 

My wife worked as a schoolteacher FT while I was in my FT on-campus MATS program, because we didn't have children at that point. I also worked FT (bi-vo minister). When we learned she was expecting our first child, she completed her contract and has been a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom ever since. That's what she's always wanted. I took extra classes to graduate early with that degree, and switched to PT online courses during MDiv studies.

Seminary took me forever, but I'd not change how we did it. My wife is happy and our kids are prospering. That's worth every sacrifice. And I shudder to think what life would be if we had incurred student loan debt. So, based on what you've written, I think Rev. Greco states your choices very well. 

I'd counsel you to stay put, marry early if you burn, let her finish her degree, and start online seminary coursework/hit the languages hard in the interim period. Then, having the first year of marriage under your belt, and a good start on your studies, make the move to WTS (hopefully, once you've secured a good job!), entrusting the whole to the Lord (Pr 16.9). 

A year goes by so quickly!

Reactions: Like 3


----------



## Edward (Jul 20, 2017)

ReformedReidian said:


> Exactly. I also have known of seminarians who received their divorce papers just after they received their diplomas.


And it makes the degree almost worthless. I knew a guy whose wife dumped him his last year of seminary. He ended up sticking around to get a counseling degree to go with his M.Div. and went into substance abuse counseling. That was certainly not the plan going into seminary. 

While I've seen a few successful pastors professionally survive a divorce, it's going to be a career killer if it happens on the front end.


----------



## lynnie (Jul 20, 2017)

I am kind of curious if the fiancee has a strong opinion either way.

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## TheThirdandReformedAdam (Jul 20, 2017)

lynnie said:


> I am kind of curious if the fiancee has a strong opinion either way.


She strongly desires that we marry next summer and that I wait a year before we both leave for Philadelphia. As of now that is the plan, and one which I may have never formed without the counsel I have received from you all. Many thanks.

Reactions: Like 2


----------



## OPC'n (Jul 20, 2017)

I couldn't agree with Pastor Fred more! I would not advise going into debt. I had a large college debt and it wasn't fun. More importantly I don't think it's Biblically advised to go into debt especially if you can avoid it. I really don't see anything wrong with waiting for marriage...... one year isn't a huge amount of time.


----------



## reaganmarsh (Jul 20, 2017)

Sounds like a solid plan. Get good, godly premarital counseling, save as much as you can, seek to encourage and bless her in her studies, be wise in your wedding plans (i.e., don't break the bank on the ceremony!), and pursue your studies as much as you're able between now and then. 

Grace to you.


----------



## ValleyofVision (Jul 31, 2017)

fredtgreco said:


> A couple of thoughts for you to ponder:
> 
> Marriage is good. Sooner is often better than later. But later is not a disaster. I would not incur thousands in debt just to be married one year earlier.
> Even if your wife is not planning to work outside the home now, she has already so much invested in her education that she should finish. She surely will not be able to easily pick her studies up again (especially after having children) so now is the time. Having her degree will help her in the event that something happens to you, or if you are not blessed with children, or in the case of some other Providence. It is not as if you are asking "should she start a four-year degree." You are more asking, "should she throw away three years of study, work and invest of dollars?" I think the answer to that is no.
> ...




Incredible advice right here.


----------

