# Good to be single?



## Solo Christo (Nov 16, 2005)

*1 Cor 7:6But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 
7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.*

How does this instruction of Paul fit, given the covenantal nature of God's redemptive purpose? So much of Scripture emphasizes the importance of the family and yet here it seems that to be alone is praised. I understand the widow part, but what of the others?


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## VirginiaHuguenot (Nov 16, 2005)

The gift of celibacy is exactly that -- a gift of God. And God's gifts are not to be despised. Paul had that gift. But it is not a gift given to all. Indeed, it is a very rare gift. It is good that this is so or else there could be no covenant families in the church. Celibacy does not make one more holy than one who is married. There is less distraction for the one who is given this gift, and marriage/family will lead to more cares but both estates are holy for those who are called thereto.

The circumstances in which Paul wrote (under persecution) were also likely in view which would put Paul's words in the context of a temporary situation. He is careful to say twice in the passage that he is not binding the consciences of all men either to marriage or singleness but speaks to the principles of necessity and convenience which should govern our approach to these callings. Marriage is a necessity for those not called to celibacy and celibacy is a good estate for those given the gift. 

Matthew Henry:



> III. The apostle limits what he had said about every man's having his own wife, &c. (v. 2): I speak this by permission, not of command. He did not lay it as an injunction upon every man to marry without exception. Any man might marry. No law of God prohibited the thing. But, on the other hand, not law bound a man to marry so that he sinned if he did not; I mean, unless his circumstances required it for preventing the lust of uncleanness. It was a thing in which men, by the laws of God, were in a great measure left at liberty. And therefore Paul did not bind every man to marry, though every man had an allowance. No, he could wish all men were as himself (v. 7), that is, single, and capable of living continently in that state. There were several conveniences in it, which at that season, if not at others, made it more eligible in itself. Note, It is a mark of true goodness to wish all men as happy as ourselves. But it did not answer the intentions of divine Providence as well for all men to have as much command of this appetite as Paul had. It was a gift vouchsafed to such persons as Infinite Wisdom thought proper: Every one hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner and another after that. Natural constitutions vary; and, where there may not be much difference in the constitution, different degrees of grace are vouchsafed, which may give some a greater victory over natural inclination than others. Note, The gifts of God, both in nature and grace, are variously distributed. Some have them after this manner and some after that. Paul could wish all men were as himself, but all men cannot receive such a saying, save those to whom it is given, Matt. xix. 11.
> 
> IV. He sums up his sense on this head (v. 9, 10): I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, to those in a state of virginity or widowhood, It is good for them if they abide even as I. There are many conveniences, and especially at this juncture, in a single state, to render it preferable to a married one. It is convenient therefore that the unmarried abide as I, which plainly implies that Paul was at that time unmarried. But, if they cannot contain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn. This is God's remedy for lust. The fire may be quenched by the means he has appointed. And marriage, with all its inconveniences, is much better than to burn with impure and lustful desires. Marriage is honourable in all; but it is a duty in those who cannot contain nor conquer those inclinations.



Westminster Larger Catechism on the Seventh Commandment:



> Q138: What are the duties required in the seventh commandment?
> A138: The duties required in the seventh commandment are, chastity in body, mind, affections,[1] words,[2] and behavior;[3] and the preservation of it in ourselves and others;[4] watchfulness over the eyes and all the senses;[5] temperance,[6] keeping of chaste company,[7] modesty in apparel;[8] *marriage by those that have not the gift of continency,[9]* conjugal love,[10] and cohabitation;[11] diligent labor in our callings;[12] shunning all occasions of uncleanness, and resisting temptations thereunto.[13]
> 
> 1. I Thess. 4:4; Job 31:1; I Cor. 7:34
> ...


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## satz (Nov 16, 2005)

A question,

is is possible to say for sure that a person has the 'gift of singleness'?

If one has that gift, is it wrong to nevertheless desire marriage?


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## SolaScriptura (Nov 16, 2005)

> _Originally posted by joshua_


I'd say that if one has the aforementioned gift, they would lack the desire for marriage. [/quote]

I'm not so sure...

After all, I've received the gift of a wife... but that doesn't keep me from sometimes wishing that I was single!


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## Arch2k (Nov 16, 2005)




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## cupotea (Nov 16, 2005)

Maybe you should consider becoming a priest!


Now that's _really_ terrible!


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## PuritanCovenanter (Nov 16, 2005)

Been married. Loved it as a gift. I am single right now and I am loving it as a gift also. 

As far as being called to be single (and it being a gift) and having longings to be married goes, I believe you can have inordinate affections which would try to detract you from your gift and or gifts.

But I don't believe that there are many who are called to be single their whole life. I am sure that everyone is called to be single during some part of their life. (Obvious don't you think) AT the same time even Paul said he was at liberty to have a wife if he so pleased.


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## gwine (Nov 16, 2005)

1 Cor 9:5

Do we not have the right to take along a believing wife,[a] as do the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas?

Even Peter, the first Pope, was married.


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