# Adoption/Foster Care Stories



## Abeard (Jul 25, 2014)

Are there any on the PB who have been through the adoption/foster care process? If so, what have been the blessings and hardships you have experience?

Adoption has always been on my heart since i've been a christian. My wife has recently expressed a desire to look into adoption/foster care. I'm hoping to connect with fellow christians who have been through the process and who are willing to share their valuable experience. Thanks!


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## nicnap (Jul 25, 2014)

Hi Alex,

My wife (banjopickinjen ---who never posts) and I have been through the foster care process, and we have adopted. Our foster care experience and adoption experience are unrelated. Our foster care experience (we never actually fostered) was not a good one. We went through all the training and turned in all our paperwork, only to have the social worker lose it all----including photocopies of our licenses and our social security cards, along with information about our income, etc. After that, we gave up on the foster process (partly because we would have moved within the next 6 months to a year from where we were living because I was wrapping up seminary). 

Our adoption story is different. We knew an adoption attorney and like you, adoption had always been on our minds since our marriage. I finished seminary, we moved to California and then to North Carolina. We decided to check into the adoption process, knowing it often takes years. We called the attorney's office and asked if they did out-of-state adoptions. The answer was, "No," due to several factors. (One of the families had to be from the adopting state or live in the adopting state, and that was too much to facilitate.) We were not discouraged, since we were only in the preliminary considerations of adoption. However, 30 minutes later the attorney's office called and said, "You're not going to believe this, but we've had a family come in and ask for an out-of-state adoption. Would you be interested? Oh, you will need to make your decision and get all of the requisite work done quickly, because the woman is due in three months." So, after scrambling around with background checks, more background checks, home visits and inspections, three months and one day later our first daughter arrived. Four weeks after that we found out that we were expecting.


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## Jeff Kerr (Jul 25, 2014)

My wife and I are currently involved in the foster-to-adopt program in Alberta. We've had a little guy in our care for about six months now. We'd hoped that permanent guardianship would be granted this past April but it looks like we'll wait for a final word on that until at least November. His caseworker and our support worker are both fantastic. His mother has been granted quite a bit of access - 3 times a week. That's been hard. Not being able to take him on vacations and the like has also been difficult. But so far it's been a very rewarding experience. He's a sweet little guy and he feels like a part of our family already. Whether we get to keep him or not, we're glad we're able to be a loving and stable family for him while he needs us.


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## Abeard (Jul 26, 2014)

It's amazing how quickly some of the adoptions are!

Nicholas, did you go through a private or public adoption agency?

Jeff, we may be going through that route. I talked to a case worker yesterday and I was surprised how open they are. 

Thanks for the responses!


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## KMK (Jul 26, 2014)

We are in the process of adopting for the third and fourth time through the County.

http://www.puritanboard.com/f22/adoption-prayer-thread-38702/

It wasn't intended to be so, but this thread ended up being mostly about my family. The prayers of PB have been invaluable over the last six years. As it stands now, two adoptions have been finalized, and the remaining two have been TPRed but are still awaiting appeal.


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## arapahoepark (Jul 26, 2014)

I know far more stories of friends, family or acquaintances where the foster/adoption has failed them rather than succeeded and with a couple it was fatal.
For instance with all that I know this did not surprise me in the slightest:http://theaquilareport.com/our-foster-care-system-is-becoming-a-pipeline-for-human-trafficking/


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## Hemustincrease (Jul 26, 2014)

The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption: Kathryn Joyce: 9781586489427: Amazon.com: Books

I count this book as essential reading for any Christian considering adoption. The author gives details of the very ugly side of adoption, both international and at home (USA) and whilst I would clearly have very little in common with her, I certainly applaud her for this well written and researched work. The church would be very unwise to ignore the rebukes within it, just because they come from a lost soul. 

I am not suggesting every single adoption (adoption agency etc) is alike, just that those entering into it (from whichever side) cannot fail but to benefit from being better informed.


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## nicnap (Jul 26, 2014)

Alex, ours was a private adoption. The attorney that we know is a Ruling Elder in a PCA church.


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