# Men and shopping - an explanation



## PresbyDane (Dec 15, 2010)

A man is able to shop with a woman (looking at feminine things) for a maximum of fifteen seconds. At that point a chemical called epinephrine (similar to adrenaline) is released within his body. This powerful substance makes him want to either run or fall into a deep sleep. This disorder is known as mallcolepsy.
Any shopping with a woman may cause him to manifest symptoms of this disorder. He will become anxious and fidgety. Sweat may develop on his upper lip, and he will utter short hurry-up phrases like, “Okay, then…,” and, “Well, that’s that, then.”
An antidote to this disturbing condition is to put him in the company of one or more males who are looking at high-tech electronics, sporting goods, or camera equipment. Or just let him fall asleep under a rack of clothing.


Comfort, R. (2003). 101 Things Husbands Do to Annoy Their Wives (11). Gainesville, FL: Bridge-Logos Publishers.


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## Andres (Dec 15, 2010)

It's not that men hate shopping, it's that they hate the way women shop. When I go shopping, I know exactly what I am going to the store for. I walk in the store, walk directly to that item, go pay for it, and leave the store. When it comes to clothing, I know what size I wear, what looks good on me, and what brands I like. I rarely even have to try things on. 
Women on the other hand cannot shop without perusing all items for at least 30 minutes per store. And they rarely go to one store.


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## Berean (Dec 15, 2010)

PresbyDane said:


> A man is able to shop with a woman (looking at feminine things) for a maximum of fifteen seconds. At that point a chemical called epinephrine (similar to adrenaline) is released within his body. This powerful substance makes him want to either run or fall into a deep sleep.



Martin, have you actually experienced this phenomenon?


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## Notthemama1984 (Dec 15, 2010)

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my wife earlier this week.

Wife: So what romantic things are we going to do for Christmas?

Me: I went to Wal-Mart with you twice this week. What more do you want?


(Of course this was said jokingly)


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## Zenas (Dec 15, 2010)

I cite an exception to the general rule:

Bass Pro (Or Gander Mountain if you have those). I could spend hours in that store.


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## seajayrice (Dec 15, 2010)

A man must go to the happy place. Enjoy your wife as she samples and weighs, weighs and samples. Chill out, relax and enjoy the sights.


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## jwithnell (Dec 15, 2010)

I'm with you guys on this one. It's Amazon or a dreaded trip to the store. (Except for bookstores!)


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## Andres (Dec 15, 2010)

jwithnell said:


> I'm with you guys on this one. It's Amazon or a dreaded trip to the store. (Except for bookstores!)


 
Great point. Bookstores are _always _the exception.


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## VictorBravo (Dec 15, 2010)

I'm blessed. A shopping trip with my wife rarely lasts longer than 15 minutes unless we have to go to two stores. We both despise malls and usually avoid them unless we need some tool or appliance from Sears.


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## Theogenes (Dec 15, 2010)

Mallcolepsy! That is funny!
BTW, I think I have that....


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## Bradwardine (Dec 16, 2010)

For our 23 years of marriage (with few exceptions) when my wife and I go to the town to shop the following procedure is followed: when the car is parked we set a time to meet back and go our own ways (splitting children between us as appropriate when they were younger!).

Keeps everyone happy !


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## Tripel (Dec 16, 2010)

We're pretty much the opposite. My wife dislikes shopping with me because I spend so long browsing. And that goes for pretty much any type of store.


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## Ivan (Dec 16, 2010)

My wife hates shopping more than I do. I am blessed.


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## JBaldwin (Dec 16, 2010)

Bradwardine said:


> For our 23 years of marriage (with few exceptions) when my wife and I go to the town to shop the following procedure is followed: when the car is parked we set a time to meet back and go our own ways (splitting children between us as appropriate when they were younger!).
> 
> Keeps everyone happy !




Your wife can actually get you to the store? My husband starts to show signs of getting ill when we get within five miles of a store, especially if he thinks we might actually stop there.


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## goodnews (Dec 16, 2010)

Andres said:


> It's not that men hate shopping, it's that they hate the way women shop. When I go shopping, I know exactly what I am going to the store for. I walk in the store, walk directly to that item, go pay for it, and leave the store. When it comes to clothing, I know what size I wear, what looks good on me, and what brands I like. I rarely even have to try things on.
> Women on the other hand cannot shop without perusing all items for at least 30 minutes per store. And they rarely go to one store.



My experience too. My wife can't go into a store unless she (literally) touches everything in it. I, on the other hand, don't browse, unless it's a bookstore or something along those lines. She used to trick me with snacks, but I got wise to that. Now she just graciously leaves me home....with the kids of course.


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## KMK (Dec 17, 2010)

seajayrice said:


> A man must go to the happy place. Enjoy your wife as she samples and weighs, weighs and samples. Chill out, relax and enjoy the sights.


 
Unless she takes you to the fabric store. Just start praying the Lord returns quickly!


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## VictorBravo (Dec 17, 2010)

KMK said:


> seajayrice said:
> 
> 
> > A man must go to the happy place. Enjoy your wife as she samples and weighs, weighs and samples. Chill out, relax and enjoy the sights.
> ...


 
Nah, you just need to be proactive in a fabric store. Ask the fabric sales-lady if she has waxed canvas and large teflon zippers for the hunting tent you want to make. See if you can get them to lay out 40 yards of the stuff and prop it up to see if it will be big enough. See if they have wool fleeces on skin and rawhide cord so you can make that caveman vest you've always wanted. Try draping linen around your head and shoulders to see if you can look like Lawrence of Arabia.

The time will pass quickly, or the time will be short.


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## KMK (Dec 17, 2010)

VictorBravo said:


> KMK said:
> 
> 
> > seajayrice said:
> ...


 
"Excuse me ma'am, where can I find the camel hair?"


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