Knoxienne
Puritan Board Graduate
Last summer, on one particularly hot and humid Sunday morning, I remember that there were eight (in a church with maybe 100 people) women with one or two inches of cleavage showing. I remember seeing the first one, then the next, then the next, and then my scientific analytical mind took over and I started counting just out of curiosity. It does not surprise me with the young things who all dress that way anymore, but some of these were 40, 50 or 60.
We had a few this summer that left me staggered. I gotta be careful what I say as this is a public board but one was a leaders wife and her sundress had three inches at least of cleavage hanging out. I was aghast inside and polite outside. We had a few others I won't go into but high heels is nothing.
Let me add that I don't think I am prudish. I wear shorts and tank tops in the summer and normal bathing suits ( one piece) at the beach. I'm not walking around in a long dress all day. But I do think the upper anatomy is meant only for the eyes of a husband. Cleavage should be covered, and not by something that looks like it was spray painted on.
I also think women know exactly what they are doing. Maybe not a 13 year old, but grownups do. There is no doubt in my mind that on some level they are aware of what is motivating them.
I wondered many times if I should say something but always got the sense that the dress is only a symptom of a deeper problem. You wonder why they need male attention so bad; as I recall most of them are married to real nice guys. I think it is lack of intimacy with God ultimately - no man can fill the inner void.
I have to admit that if I walked around like that my husband might not rebuke me, although he'd be honest if I asked him straight out. But he'd probably prefer to avoid conflict over the subject. I suspect a lot of nice guys would rather not say anything and avoid conflict. Is it really up to elders to set the women straight, or is it up to them to maybe ask the husbands to say something to the wife who has it all hanging out? Don't the husbands even care, that guys are going to look at his wife and start thinking something that isn't exactly the latest doctrinal debate?
I was at a church once years ago with about 450 people and one week during the short "free time" before the sermon ( read a scripture, pray, give a "testimony") a woman who worked with teens walked up to the mike and told the women in that it was entirely inappropriate to have your cleavage hanging out, it was immodest and sinful. She laid it out graphically for at least 2-3 minutes. She was so earnest and it came out so holy that it was beautiful, not condemning or self righteous. Perhaps this is a subject where older women need to teach the younger, not the elders. I don't know.
Its getting worse every year, that's for sure.
Amen. I know of one pastor who approached a young girl and told her she was dressed too immodestly and please don't return next week to church like that. He was very nice about it. He didn't tell her she was a gutter slut and was going to hell. Of course it would have been better had a woman admonished her, but it was what it was. And that congregation ran that pastor out of the church for encouraging that girl to obey the seventh commandment. That's absolutely wicked.