Men, Be a Gentle Leader - Ryan Fullerton I saw the video above about five years ago now. I thank God that he led me to watch this before I got married. In summary, Paul teaches us in his letter to Philemon that leadership isn't by knowing the most polite way to bark out orders. In the sensitive matter of restoring a converted runaway slave to his converted owner, Paul uses tact. Although being an apostle he could command Philemon to accept Onesimus, and Philemon would have complied, Paul takes the route of appealing to Philemon's heart, and as it were gives Philemon the opportunity to voluntarily accept Onesimus back. Paul knew that by this route Philemon would not only accept back Onesimus, but do even more. Fullerton explains, this is how a man leads in marriage. Home leadership is not a matter of finding the nicest way to give commands to your wife, but as it were give her the opportunity to follow your leadership from her own love and Christian desires. If she is given the opportunity, she'll do even more from her own willingness, because as a Christian that's what she wants anyway. I post this hoping that it will be an encouragement to other men.