A bit of background is in order. In August of 2000 my family left our home church for a church plant in a town a few miles north. I was already a Calvinist, and neither my current church nor the one I was going to shared that theological point of view. A little over two years later my pastor embraced the doctrines of sovereign grace. He posts on here occasionally but is more of a lurker on the PB. Theologically our church has moved more and more towards, what I like to call a Spurgeon-like theology. I am more than pleased with this. Unfortunately, being a new church we have a few holes. These are not the result of any persons failure, they are just inherent to church plants. I daresay they are common to even mature churches. One of these holes is in the area of teenagers.
My daughter is a soon-to-be 16 year old. She is the only teenager in our church. That's right...the only one. I must be honest. For the past few years I have been (for the most part) unyielding in this area. I have demanded that she attend worship with us and participate in the church as opportunity affords. She is well-liked by the adults and enjoys working with the pre-schoolers. But she is a teenager and has been crying out for friends. After much prayer and discussion with my wife, I agreed to allow my daughter to attend youth group at our old church. I have to admit that there really isn't much of a threat that she will be infected with Arminian theology. What passes for their devotion time is weak and superficial. So for the past year my daughter has been going to youth group at our old church.
Today my daughter wanted a sit-down talk with her "Daddy-O" as she calls me. She enjoys being with her friends and wants to attend our old church. As you can imagine this took me for a complete shock. But instead of launching into a diatribe on our sending church I shut my mouth and listened. She made some good points. Even though my heart broke for her, there was no way that I was going to allow her to attend a different church then her parents. She was in tears bemoaning the fact that she has no time with her peers outside of Tuesday evening youth group. I had to admit to myself that she is a nearly 16 year old girl, and she is a social creature. She is also a good girl. Every Saturday we go out for breakfast and talk about anything and everything you can imagine. I am blessed to have such an two-way relationship with my daughter. So my quandary persisted. Do I play the part of family dictator or consider another solution?
After prayer and talking with my wife, I made the decision that she could attend our old church every other week. My mother-in-law lives me with and she will be able to attend with her. I am not completely happy with this but I realize that my daughter cannot continue to hate going to church each Lord's Day because there is no one else her age to fellowship with. I had to ask, "How would I feel?"
FIRST: Please do not throw your assorted rotten fruit and veggies at me. I feel rotten enough already. I am interested if any one on the PB has crossed this bridge personally? I've made my decision, and I feel it is the right one given our circumstances, but I am interested in your insight.
My daughter is a soon-to-be 16 year old. She is the only teenager in our church. That's right...the only one. I must be honest. For the past few years I have been (for the most part) unyielding in this area. I have demanded that she attend worship with us and participate in the church as opportunity affords. She is well-liked by the adults and enjoys working with the pre-schoolers. But she is a teenager and has been crying out for friends. After much prayer and discussion with my wife, I agreed to allow my daughter to attend youth group at our old church. I have to admit that there really isn't much of a threat that she will be infected with Arminian theology. What passes for their devotion time is weak and superficial. So for the past year my daughter has been going to youth group at our old church.
Today my daughter wanted a sit-down talk with her "Daddy-O" as she calls me. She enjoys being with her friends and wants to attend our old church. As you can imagine this took me for a complete shock. But instead of launching into a diatribe on our sending church I shut my mouth and listened. She made some good points. Even though my heart broke for her, there was no way that I was going to allow her to attend a different church then her parents. She was in tears bemoaning the fact that she has no time with her peers outside of Tuesday evening youth group. I had to admit to myself that she is a nearly 16 year old girl, and she is a social creature. She is also a good girl. Every Saturday we go out for breakfast and talk about anything and everything you can imagine. I am blessed to have such an two-way relationship with my daughter. So my quandary persisted. Do I play the part of family dictator or consider another solution?
After prayer and talking with my wife, I made the decision that she could attend our old church every other week. My mother-in-law lives me with and she will be able to attend with her. I am not completely happy with this but I realize that my daughter cannot continue to hate going to church each Lord's Day because there is no one else her age to fellowship with. I had to ask, "How would I feel?"
FIRST: Please do not throw your assorted rotten fruit and veggies at me. I feel rotten enough already. I am interested if any one on the PB has crossed this bridge personally? I've made my decision, and I feel it is the right one given our circumstances, but I am interested in your insight.
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