Can you get burned out from being around sin?

[ReformedWretch]

Ok, I love working with my kids. We adopted one of them even! This is the only job that I have ever had that makes me feel like I am accomplishing something worth while.

But there are times that I am just sick to death of it. It's not times where someone has done something terrible either. I feel that there are just times where I have seen so much disregard of God's word and selfish, blatently disgusting lifestyle choices that I am going to scream (well honestly I just sort of sulk in a dark corner somewhere).

There is no doubt in my mind that I often get the "Elijah complex". If there were a cave I could crawl into I would be there often. I know the word God gave to Elijah, but still, living amongst blatent, PROUD sinners who want nothing to do with the law or word of God is so tough sometimes. Especially when you grow to love many or even most of them.

Maybe this should be in the prayer forum, but I am also wondering if anyone else ever feels this way and how you shake it off?

 

[LadyFlynt]

Hubby gets this way at times...takes a good talking to from me, reassurrance, and alot of time alone with the Lord.

 

[ReformedWretch]

Assurance huh? Like what? That "God is in control" etc?

Don't get me wrong, I know and believe that. But I so often feel like if there is nothing I can do, then why try? I know that sounds terribly inmature but I am just being honest.

Let me give you an example.

The boys in the home I work in are pretty bad (to be fair most girls are too). These guys are, like most, after one thing from girls. But they are so, so slick. They play with the girls emotions, write love poems, etc. The biggest thing is that they swear to the girls that they "make me a better person". These goofy girls fall for that line over and over and over.

Well, we currently have one girl who seems so different. She is sweet, polite, moral, friendly, etc. She is just a wonderful kid. Well, she is falling for this pathetic line from one of the worst boys on campus. She and I are very close, but she will not heed my warnings or advice. Other girls in our house have agreed with me, but she keeps going.

It has me down right sick at this point. So many of the girls I work with toss away their potential with no good, bummy guys. I am so, so tired of watching it happen too.

I am almost used to it, but every so often you get a kid that you see something special about. When a kid like this (this is our 3rd one in 12 years!) does something like this it is especially maddening.

I am praying for her, but it still makes me want to

[Edited on 2-18-2005 by houseparent]

 

[Scott Bushey]

Adam,
Sounds like my daughter and her situation.

 

[ReformedWretch]

Than I am so sorry for you Scott! We have only known this girl a few months and love her. I can't imagine if she were my daughter.

It makes me want to stragnle the boy, but then there would only be another to take his place. I hate how so many girls fall for that tired line! It's almost like they want to be some changing aspect. Dare I say it, it almost seems like they want to be a god to the boy. To be the reason, the way, the path, etc. that leads the male to change and betterment.

It's so frustrating!

 

[satz]

Don't get me wrong, I know and believe that. But I so often feel like if there is nothing I can do, then why try? I know that sounds terribly inmature but I am just being honest.

I've never had kids nor been in a position like yours, so i shalln't try to pretend that i understand how you feel.

Nonetheless, here is what i think...

I remember someone on this board previously quoting some theologican as saying 'Duty is ours, results are God's.' Rather corny, but ( i think ) very true.

I know it is hard ( and indeed i haven't the faintest idea how you feel), but i think i might be helpful to remind yourself that your best is all you can do. If you are being the best witness you can ,teaching them as best as you can, then there is no need to feel depressed even if they continue in their sinful ways. ( By this i mean depressed as in thinking you have failed in anyway...obviously it is right to be sorrowful about their sin)

This is especially so if the kids are unbelievers. We are totally dependent upon God to change their hearts in regeneration. That is not our duty nor can we contribute to it in anyway by our efforts.

In the meanwhile continue to love them, teach them God's ways and try as best you can to restrain the physical manifestation of their sinfulness. But remember that before God changes them, his wisdom is foolishness to them, so don't be surprised or upset if you are rejected despite your good intentions.

Could this passage also be relevant?

Col 3:22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God;
23And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
24Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

v23 says that in our jobs, we work as if Christ was our boss, and not our human masters. 'Job satisfaction' so to speak, is obtained by knowing that Christ is happy with your efforts day to day, and not from the physical 'results' of your efforts. While in some jobs the first will naturally translate into the second, i have mentioned above why i think in your particular area of work, even the best godly efforts may not see immediate fruit.

Again, what will make this worthwhile is knowing that Christ is pleased with your efforts to witness for him, reprove sin and encourage righteousness. And obviously if you are pleasing him in that way, you will also be naturally doing the most amount of good possible to your kids.

Continue to pray for and teach your kids, trusting that God will one day bring forth the fruit of true conversion in them. I hope nothing i said is misunderstood into claim we should not care or be concerned.

oh well, i am kind off rambling. I hope this has been helpful and that i have not misunderstood your post or problem...

 

[ReformedWretch]

Made alot of sense Mark, and I thank you for taking the time to encourage me!

v23 says that in our jobs, we work as if Christ was our boss, and not our human masters. 'Job satisfaction' so to speak, is obtained by knowing that Christ is happy with your efforts day to day, and not from the physical 'results' of your efforts. While in some jobs the first will naturally translate into the second, i have mentioned above why i think in your particular area of work, even the best godly efforts may not see immediate fruit.

Very well said.

While I know that it's true and I do my best to work as if working for Christ Himself, it is still so disheartening to see kids you love lost in sin.

 

[cupotea]

Perhaps you could reason with her? I know you said you tried to show her that the guy was lying and it didn't work, but maybe you shouldn't worry about that, because, as you said, even if this guy goes away, another will take his place. What she should learn is what is important in life. The minister at my church would point out that if she's turning to sin like this she must have some spiritual longing that she's not showing. You said that it's a need to lead people to the right path, that she wants to make the guy better. So maybe if you point out to her that *cough* that's not the way to do it! I know it's hard to make people see things your way, but perhaps the way to start is to see it through her eyes and show her her error? My

 

[Abd_Yesua_alMasih]

I know from living at the university dorms that sin all around me can burn me out. I usually get over it by some good fellowship with believers which sort of restores my hope that people can actually repent and it shows me I am not the only 'dafter God follower' around.

But being only 19 I have not practicle advice for the problem at hand. From experience all I know is "I told you so" doesnt work

 

[ReformedWretch]

I need more Christian fellowship, that's for certain! I thank God for this board and my pastor and wife. While that may sound like a fair ammount of fellowship, it simply isn't. At least not in balance of what I do for a living.

 

[lwadkins]

Yes we need the encouragement of our brothers and sisters in Christ, for the times of trials will come and other christians are part of God's blessing us in times of trial.

 

[LadyFlynt]

They allow this kind of thing (attempted mixed gender relationships) at the home you are at? Sounds like the boy needs a talking to as well.

 

[ReformedWretch]

Originally posted by LadyFlynt
They allow this kind of thing (attempted mixed gender relationships) at the home you are at? Sounds like the boy needs a talking to as well.

Yes, thus another reason I applied elsewhere. Many agree with me that it should not be allowed but no one wants to make the serious effort it would take to stop it.

 

[LadyFlynt]

I am praying that you get the other position Adam. Are you able to create rules just for your house though dealing with the boy issues?

 

[ReformedWretch]

Originally posted by LadyFlynt
I am praying that you get the other position Adam. Are you able to create rules just for your house though dealing with the boy issues?

It's tough.

I can ground kids that I think are being inappropriate but after a while I would need "team support". I spoke to this girls social worker today and she agrees with me! (This is rare.)

What we seem to do here, is just "get the kids through". We do try and teach them, and push them to strive for the best, but no real solid effort in regard to morality is made in my opinion. I do all that I can in my house, but then some here get all uptight saying that I am a "seclusionist" and not as much a part of the entire "campus" as they think I should be.

 

[LadyFlynt]

praying, Adam.

Praying for the girl also...I just had a situation pop into my lap as well.

Have an 18yr girl (friend of a friend's cousin) that went home from school yesterday to find her stuff on the front steps. She's staying with the friend's cousin. I'm taking her Tues to collect her school records, change her address, and enroll in the town she is now living in. She's a junior and her goal is to join the Marines and become an EMT. She really wants to graduate.

 

[ReformedWretch]

Originally posted by LadyFlynt
praying, Adam.

Praying for the girl also...I just had a situation pop into my lap as well.

Have an 18yr girl (friend of a friend's cousin) that went home from school yesterday to find her stuff on the front steps. She's staying with the friend's cousin. I'm taking her Tues to collect her school records, change her address, and enroll in the town she is now living in. She's a junior and her goal is to join the Marines and become an EMT. She really wants to graduate.

Wow!

We've helped kids in that situation. My prayers are with her. And for you as you help her, a very cool thing to do too!

 

[LadyFlynt]

I've been in her shoes...and it's really about all I can do for her. She does get an attitude at times and told me that she get offended easy. So pray for me Tues.

 

[ReformedWretch]

Will do!

 

[street preacher]

I'm LadyFlynt's husband and as she has already said I get frustrated at times but I know that I must be faithful to the Lord in worship, (everyday worship), repentant, and saturated in the Word of God so that they will somehow realize, if the Lord wills, that they are but chaff in the wind and I am a strong, sturdy tree planted by the waters. Worship and serve the Lord with all your might because that is what the Lord requires from you. He will fulfill the rest of His plan in using you to show His mighty power in the life of sinful flesh.

 

[ReformedWretch]

Thanks Steve!

 

[4ndr3w]

Adam,

We don't always see the fruits of our labor, but it is there none the less. I am praying for all involved but I am also praying that God may encourage you by revealing some of that fruit which He has worked through you. I for one am encouraged even by your struggles because I see God at work.

 

[ReformedWretch]

GOOD NEWS!

The girl came to me this afternoon and told me that she dumped the guy! Apparently he got "rough" with one of her friends because she was "getting on my nerves".

Well, that was it for this young lady and she told him everyone was right about him and told him to get lost.

She hugged me and told me I was right.

Thanks for the prayers! Now please pray that her heart and mind will be open to the gospel as our relationship grows.

 

[Gregor]

I get burned out a lot. But when I do, I think about my savior.
"For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls."
-Hebrew 12:3
It helps me to remember that I'm not here to please myself but God. I hope this helps.
In Christ,
Greg