Christian Confidence/Boldness

[WillofGod]

In recent weeks, I've been struck by the extreme importance of Christ's assertiveness during His earthly ministry, being that so much of the Gospels consists of His confrontations with all sorts of audiences regarding who He was and what that meant for them (even though it was almost always bad news). When I look at my own life, I find that unlike Christ, I have far too much of a disconnect between my convictions and the things that I'll actually say to those around me. I'm beginning to realize how much more I could serve the Lord if I overcame this cowardice, but it so often feels like I just can't bring myself to do it. Are there any good resources (books, articles, essays, etc.) that walk through this aspect of our walk?
Random Note: I'm also interested in how this ties in with the courage and bravery of Biblical manhood, so anything on that would be great.

 

[arapahoepark]

I'm glad you bring this up because I can finally name what I have been battling for awhile now: self-confidence and social anxiety. In short, fear of man. Now what I recommend maybe tangential to a degree but helps to solve the mind.
There are numerous sources I can recommend that I have read, at least regarding internal battles. It largely revolves around a more self centered view namely: "what do people think of me."
Ego by Glynn Harrison
Self Forgetfulness by Tim Keller
When God is Small and People are Big by Ed Welch
The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane (this is very practical and quite honestly the best I have across albeit without a religious bent, though the first exercise can certainly be a religious one as is covers similar bases).
There are so many others (including articles by the CCEF) I have but those were the most eye opening.

 

[Ed Walsh]

When I look at my own life, I find that unlike Christ, I have far too much of a disconnect between my convictions and the things that I'll actually say to those around me. I'm beginning to realize how much more I could serve the Lord if I overcame this cowardice, but it so often feels like I just can't bring myself to do it. Are there any good resources (books, articles, essays, etc.) that walk through this aspect of our walk?

Hi Will,

This is the 3rd time I'm trying to write to you. Maybe I'll post it this time.

I decided to keep my thoughts to myself–for now, anyway. But please consider this message –

Finding True Strength: Psalm 84,
by Dr. Michael Reeves​

PS – I have a thought or two on what may help you out with your "disconnect..." Please let me know if you're interested. But please consider Dr. Reeves' message. I consider that he has his priorities straight.

EW

 

[py3ak]

One fairly neutral way of describing the issue is that we are going to struggle to do anything we don't feel comfortable doing; and since we are likely to do it rather poorly, it can become a negative feedback loop, where ultimately we just refrain our tongues even from good.

In that way, cultivating comfort with saying things people might have a negative reaction to is an important skill for everyone to have. Trent's suggestions have a lot of value, perhaps especially in figuring out what is going on in our thoughts and hearts when we struggle to be comfortable while making others uncomfortable. We sometimes have ideas about it being our responsibility not to ruffle feathers, or about it not being nice to contradict, or something along those lines, that at least in the moment make it harder to act decisively and straightforwardly. Accepting that other people are responsible for managing their own emotions can be an important ingredient in distinguishing between what is appropriately bold vs. what is needlessly harsh.

 

[TheInquirer]

Off the top of my head here is what has helped me:

Boldness (tempered with wisdom) is something that can be learned by practice. Courage is acting even when you feel fear. Everyone feels fear so take heart.

Having others introduce you to people you don’t know helps along with hanging out with others who are more naturally social.

Focusing on the task/mission that needs to happen helps too. I don’t really like talking to people I don’t know at church but I make myself do it anyway. Being genuinely interested in others and caring for them helps take the focus off yourself. A lot of this for me has simply been growing in love for people over the years. I am naturally very shy and introverted but people would never know it by the amount of people I talk to. My kids are always surprised when I say that about myself but my wife has seen the change over the years.

Another thing but not something anyone wants - brutal trials. Trials have a way of purging things from you that don’t matter (like caring what other people think). I still somewhat care what others think (depends on the person) but magnitudes less than in my younger years. This is very freeing and helps me focus better on what needs to be done or said regardless of the response from others.

Big view of God and small view of man helps. Don’t let anyone intimidate you, they are just flesh. This is one reason why I recoil at some of the idolizing of Christian leaders that goes on. It is very destructive and most of the time you end up learning what sinners they are anyway. A good leader deserves respect but never idolizing. Only God deserves exaltation. Don’t let yourself put anyone on a pedestal - ever. Success, wealth, talent etc. are all given by the Lord and only he is worthy of glory regardless of the praise people tend to heap on one another.

 

[arapahoepark]

I'd highly recommend the book but here are the basic exercises from the Charisma Myth.

Olivia Fox Cabane

Persona

oliviafoxcabane.com