Communion in weddings?

[matthew11v25]

Is communion appropriate/allowed in weddings (given that the marriage is between believers)? and what is your reasoning from scripture?

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

blessings,
matt

 

[jaybird0827]

Matt,

I seriously question that a wedding ceremony/service is the time or place to celebrate the Lord's Supper.

Wherefore whosover shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.

But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.

For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.

...

I Corinthians 11:27 ff

Some of the issues -
Who participates? Bride and groom only? Entire wedding party?
People coming to the wedding are suitably prepared to come to the table and partake worthily? What about unbelieving friends and relatives? What about the fencing of the table and the administration of the sacrament and the involvement of the Session?

Check out the Confession of Faith and Catechisms on this doctrine and review the proof texts. Do you hold to a Scriptural and confessional view of the sacraments?

The bottom line - I think this put the burden of proof on those who want to argue that a wedding ceremony is an appropriate season in which to hold the Lord's Supper. I know how my Session would handle it.

Cheers,
J. Sulzmann

[Edited on 8-31-2006 by jaybird0827]

 

[Kevin]

Matt, Yes, IF the wedding is part of the worship service of the church.

The modern idea of a large "production" style wedding would be incompatable with the sacrament however if you had the exchange of vows during or after the worship service it would be almost a requirement.

In my reading of history this was often the practice--to say the vows publicly at (or often after) the public worship.

Part of our problem is that we have linked the exchange of vows ( a religious activity) with the wedding feast to such a point that we think of them as the same thing. They are not the same. If we recognize this then saying vows in a service of the church rather than renting out the church for a production will seem more natural, and well, Christian.

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

Originally posted by jaybird0827
Matt,

I seriously question that a wedding ceremony/service is the time or place to celebrate the Lord's Supper.

Wherefore whosover shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.

But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.

For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.

...

I Corinthians 11:27 ff

Some of the issues -
Who participates? Bride and groom only? Entire wedding party?
People coming to the wedding are suitably prepared to come to the table and partake worthily? What about unbelieving friends and relatives? What about the fencing of the table and the administration of the sacrament and the involvement of the Session?

Check out the Confession of Faith and Catechisms on this doctrine and review the proof texts. Do you hold to a Scriptural and confessional view of the sacraments?

The bottom line - I think this put the burden of proof on those who want to argue that a wedding ceremony is an appropriate season in which to hold the Lord's Supper. I know how my Session would handle it.

Cheers,
J. Sulzmann

[Edited on 8-31-2006 by jaybird0827]

If marriage is not a sacrament nor peculiar to the church of God, as the Westminster Assembly said, then it is primarily a civil affair with religious elements which ought to be solemnized by a minister when the parties being married are Christians. Therefore it is not a worship service, even if held in a church, any more than if a chaplain prays at a legislative meeting or an oath is taken in a court room.

The Westminster Directory of Public Worship also recommends against solemnizing a marriage on the Lord's Day, and specifically directs that no "futher ceremony" take place other than prayer and vows.

From a practical standpoint, I think Jay's points are well taken. From a theological standpoint, linking a marriage ceremony with the Lord's Supper and calling it a worship service leans towards the Roman Catholic view that marriage itself is a sacrament and requires a worship service.

 

[Arch2k]

I believe it would be inappropriate to celebrate the Lord's supper during a wedding.

1) The Lord's supper is meant to be celebrated as a communion of a body of believers. Weddings can include heretics, infadels and idolaters of all sorts. It would be almost impossible for a session to guard the table against such abuses.

2) Weddings are primarily civil in their administration. This is shown by the fact that it is moral that two unbelievers can be married to each other without violation of God's law. Also, weddings are a time of civil celebration that includes acts not appropriate for the Lord's day (parties etc.). The wedding at Cana is an example of this. The Westiminster divines followed this line of thoughts when they included the following in the Directory for Public Worship:

After the purpose or contract of marriage hath been thus published, the marriage is not to be long deferred. Therefore the minister, having had convenient warning, and nothing being objected to hinder it, is publickly to solemnize it in the place appointed by authority for publick worship, before a competent number of credible witnesses, at some convenient hour of the day, at any time of the year, except on a day of publick humiliation. And we advise that it be not on the Lord's day.

 

[R. Scott Clark]

Matt,

I agree with those who oppose communion during weddings.

The argument cannot be settled on the basis of proof-texts. It has to be settled on the basis of an understanding of the nature of the church as covenant assembly and the nature of the sacraments as covenant signs and seals. See the papers on my site under dogmatics on the church and the sacraments for more on this.

Weddings are a private/civil function. They may be held in church and officiated by a minister but that does not make them stated services. That's why we recognize marriages conducted by civil authorities. When a minister conducts a wedding, he does so by by virtue of his office but we don't regard marriage as a sacrament. That notion, however, is not entirely banished from the thinking of many people in evangelical and Reformed congregations.

By contrast, communion is neither a private nor civil function. It was instituted by our Lord for the covenant community gathered in formal, stated assembly as the covenant assembly. This context is embedded in the institution of the supper and in Paul's rehearsal of the institution in 1 Cor 11:23-6.

That is why, in weddings, things might be permitted (candles etc - not that these things are to be encouraged!) that could never be permitted in a covenant assembly.

I understand that there is widespread confusion about these things, but that's because the RPW has been so universally ignored, even in Reformed churches.

On a practical level, fencing the table in such a setting would be nightmare.

On another matter, please email me off-list ([email protected]) would you?

Blessings,

rsc

Originally posted by matthew11v25
Is communion appropriate/allowed in weddings (given that the marriage is between believers)? and what is your reasoning from scripture?

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

blessings,
matt

[Edited on 8-31-2006 by R. Scott Clark]

 

[BaptistCanuk]

I am not even Roman Catholic and I believe a wedding is a worship service, at least for the two believers getting married. I originally didn't believe this but my fiancee explained her view of it and I agreed with her. Therefore, when we get married, she and I will take communion. And we don't have to answer to anybody else but God.

 

[Arch2k]

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
I am not even Roman Catholic and I believe a wedding is a worship service, at least for the two believers getting married. I originally didn't believe this but my fiancee explained her view of it and I agreed with her. Therefore, when we get married, she and I will take communion. And we don't have to answer to anybody else but God.

Why do you believe weddings are a worship service?

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Because the man and woman are both Christians and they are making vows before God, and they are doing it for the glory of God. Life itself, lived for the glory of God is "worship" therefore a wedding would fall under that category.

Even the Reformers believed that life itself was "worship" so I hope nobody says my "views are novel".

 

[NaphtaliPress]

See this thread as well. I agree with those who believe the question is not whether we should have communion at wedding, but whether we should bring weddings into the public worship of God at all?

 

[BaptistCanuk]

I'll check it out but I am confused why some of you are against bringing weddings into worship. Is God not pleased when two Christians make vows before Him? What is wrong with worshipping God while you are getting married? Why would we ignore Him on any day let alone that day?

 

[fredtgreco]

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
I am not even Roman Catholic and I believe a wedding is a worship service, at least for the two believers getting married. I originally didn't believe this but my fiancee explained her view of it and I agreed with her. Therefore, when we get married, she and I will take communion. And we don't have to answer to anybody else but God.

Where in the Scriptures does it permit some believers to have communion and exclude others? The Lord's Supper is a sacrament of the Church isn't it? What right do you have to tell others who are communing members of the church that they must watch the means of grace but not partake?

This is American sentimentalism.

 

[fredtgreco]

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
I'll check it out but I am confused why some of you are against bringing weddings into worship. Is God not pleased when two Christians make vows before Him? What is wrong with worshipping God while you are getting married? Why would we ignore Him on any day let alone that day?

God is pleased when I walk with my boys? Is that worship? Shoudl we have communion then? God is very pleased (He says so in His Word) when my wife and I have marital relations. Is that worship? Should there be a called gathering? Shoudl we have the Supper?

The points is that the Supper is a communial meal (hence the common term for it: "communion" ) that is to be a part of the corporate gathered worship of the Lord's people. A wedding is not that. It does not occur on the Lord's Day, not everyone is invited, and the RPW is not followed (nor should it be). It is a public taking of vows.

 

[crhoades]

Originally posted by fredtgreco

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
I am not even Roman Catholic and I believe a wedding is a worship service, at least for the two believers getting married. I originally didn't believe this but my fiancee explained her view of it and I agreed with her. Therefore, when we get married, she and I will take communion. And we don't have to answer to anybody else but God.

Where in the Scriptures does it permit some believers to have communion and exclude others? The Lord's Supper is a sacrament of the Church isn't it? What right do you have to tell others who are communing members of the church that they must watch the means of grace but not partake?

This is American sentimentalism.

For what it's worth, my wife and I took communion when we got married 4 years ago. I regret it and repent of it. My leanings were to not do it but I hadn't thought all of the way through it. I went along with her, because she wanted to. Now it is difficult watching that part of the ceremony on video.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Originally posted by fredtgreco

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
I am not even Roman Catholic and I believe a wedding is a worship service, at least for the two believers getting married. I originally didn't believe this but my fiancee explained her view of it and I agreed with her. Therefore, when we get married, she and I will take communion. And we don't have to answer to anybody else but God.

Where in the Scriptures does it permit some believers to have communion and exclude others? The Lord's Supper is a sacrament of the Church isn't it? What right do you have to tell others who are communing members of the church that they must watch the means of grace but not partake?

This is American sentimentalism.

You know what? I'm getting sick and tired of answering people's questions the best I can and getting nothing but sarcasm back? You want to be sarcastic? I can do it to. One, I'm not American. I don't care what kind of sentimentalism it is; I am not American. Kindly refrain from that "phrase" when talking about me. Thank you.

Two, who are YOU to say that we can't have communion. I was trying to protect unbelievers from taking communion, therefore I wanted it to be her and I. Besides, it is our wedding before God; not anyone else's.

Three, if you can't be a little more polite, then don't bother me.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Originally posted by fredtgreco

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
I'll check it out but I am confused why some of you are against bringing weddings into worship. Is God not pleased when two Christians make vows before Him? What is wrong with worshipping God while you are getting married? Why would we ignore Him on any day let alone that day?

God is pleased when I walk with my boys? Is that worship? should we have communion then? God is very pleased (He says so in His Word) when my wife and I have marital relations. Is that worship? Should there be a called gathering? should we have the Supper?

The points is that the Supper is a communial meal (hence the common term for it: "communion" ) that is to be a part of the corporate gathered worship of the Lord's people. A wedding is not that. It does not occur on the Lord's Day, not everyone is invited, and the RPW is not followed (nor should it be). It is a public taking of vows.

Stupid questions normally call for stupid answers. But the only answer to your questions is "yes", those are all acts of worship. According to the Reformers and myself.

EVERY day is the Lord's Day. Do not put your legalistic battering rams upon me. I said, and I MEANT it, that I will answer to God. Not you or anyone else.

 

[R. Scott Clark]

Brian,

Your argument seems to be that

1) if you make vows then it's a worship service;

2) all of life is worship

Is this your argument?

rsc

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
Because the man and woman are both Christians and they are making vows before God, and they are doing it for the glory of God. Life itself, lived for the glory of God is "worship" therefore a wedding would fall under that category.

Even the Reformers believed that life itself was "worship" so I hope nobody says my "views are novel".

 

[BaptistCanuk]

So...should I come to you guys before I decide whatever I do? If I am not going to be considered a Christian because I believe differently than you on stupid trivial matters, then that's fine. I enjoyed my time here. Bye.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Originally posted by R. Scott Clark
Brian,

Your argument seems to be that

1) if you make vows then it's a worship service;

2) all of life is worship

Is this your argument?

rsc

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
Because the man and woman are both Christians and they are making vows before God, and they are doing it for the glory of God. Life itself, lived for the glory of God is "worship" therefore a wedding would fall under that category.

Even the Reformers believed that life itself was "worship" so I hope nobody says my "views are novel".

Anything in life done to the glory of God is worship. Working hard at your job is worshipping God. The Reformers said it. I agree.

 

[matthew11v25]

I do not believe a wedding is a "worship service". If any one is wondering (some of the responses seemed to imply it), I am also against communion in a wedding. But, it is something that I have seen in weddings (and discussed, coming from an evangelical and R.Catholic background) I have been too, and I was wondering what everyone's response would be. I believe the burden of proof is DEFINETLY upon those that desire the Lord's Supper in their wedding.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Thank you for at least being respectful in your disagreement Matthew. Would that others could do the same.

Maybe the burden of proof is on me, but I do not feel the burden to prove it. We are going to do it, thousands of other couples do it, and we will answer to God for it.

 

[Pilgrim]

I have been at a Baptist wedding where communion was performed. Other than that it was the most Christ-centered wedding I've been to. There was an attempt to verbally fence the table, but basically it was open communion. I think the communion was at best sentimentalism there. I agree with Fred, Dr. Clark, Andrew and the others reasoning that the Lord's Supper should not be celebrated at a wedding.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Originally posted by Pilgrim
I have been at a Baptist wedding where communion was performed. Other than that it was the most Christ-centered wedding I've been to. There was an attempt to verbally fence the table, but basically it was open communion. I think the communion was at best sentimentalism there. I agree with Fred, Dr. Clark, Andrew and the others reasoning that the Lord's Supper should not be celebrated at a wedding.

Another respectful disagreement. That's fine.

I myself though, disagree with them. And they won't be my judge so this is really nothing to argue about. I regret the fact that I shared my belief as it really angered the "holier than I am" types.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Originally posted by joshua

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
Stupid questions normally call for stupid answers.

It's amazing, Mr. Pinnegar, how you request someone to be polite or not "bother" (your words) you and then you reply with great disrespect yourself...and such condescending things to say!

Don't forget where I said if they want to be sarcastic, I can do it back. It is amazing Sir how you tolerate what was done to me when I only tried to answer a question the best I can.

Do not put your legalistic battering rams upon me. I said, and I MEANT it, that I will answer to God. Not you or anyone else.

Yes, you will. And you'll also receieve questions, rebuke, etc. from here publicly, when you post on a PUBLIC forum. So you can either answer questions and assertions, or you can retort with childish attitudes like, "I don't answer to anybody but God" which misrepresents those who ask you to back up your assertions.

In case you missed it they were extremely rude in their "questioning". How would you like it if I asked you questions the way they were asking them. And really, I don't have to answer to anyone but God. I think you know what is meant by that. It is not saying I won't answer a question, because hey, I already tried to answer the best I could before I was attacked like I was.

So...should I come to you guys before I decide whatever I do? If I am not going to be considered a Christian because I believe differently than you on stupid trivial matters, then that's fine. I enjoyed my time here. Bye.

Umm...who asserted that you should come here before you decide to do whatever you do? Who asserted tha you weren't a Christian, because you believe differently? Please define "stupid trivial matters".

It was implied.

Is this your good bye from the board, or what?

You would like that wouldn't you? I already know I don't belong on here because of my "novel" views. I have a question. How many other people have left this board and what was their reason? And please don't forget, look back through this thread to where I tried to answer the question and I was mercilessly attacked for my belief. Then ponder if you would have liked me to have done that.

 

[crhoades]

Originally posted by joshua

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
I regret the fact that I shared my belief as it really angered the "holier than I am" types.

This is ridiculous and untrue. You are way too defensive when pressed to back up the things you believe.

And I will add that you just put down as "holier than I am types" an ordained pastor and seminary professor in a respected seminary who were doing their best to challenge you to think through your desires through argumentation.

Personally, I think you owe them an apology for trying to help.

Edit: what you consider attacks are what most logicians call reductio ad absurdums. In other words,, a person will take another person's reasoning and apply it to a similar situation that will appear absurd in order to demonstrate the faulty thinking. That was what Fred was doing. He has a pastor's heart.

[Edited on 8-31-2006 by crhoades]

 

[Arch2k]

I agree with Josh here Brian. I am saying this with all seriousness and calmness. I wish to see you learn from others on this board (not that everyone has it "all right" here, but there are many elders and pastors that we should respect and learn from). However, I have seen a couple of threads lately where it seems like you are letting your emotions get the better of you. Please treat others with respect, and you will get it.

If you are anything like me (and I suspect that you are), you have much to learn, and we should take correction and guidence from our elders with humility, not rebellion, even if we end up disagreeing.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Originally posted by joshua

Originally posted by BaptistCanuk
I regret the fact that I shared my belief as it really angered the "holier than I am" types.

This is ridiculous and untrue. You are way too defensive when pressed to back up the things you believe.

No I am not and I'm getting rather tired of being accused of such. Did you SEE the way they attacked me? If "I" had done that, you would have had a problem with me. And please, don't tell me what I believe is ridiculous and untrue. It is funny how I am always too defensive while nobody else takes responsibility for being too much of a jerk.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Originally posted by Jeff_Bartel
I agree with Josh here Brian. I am saying this with all seriousness and calmness. I wish to see you learn from others on this board (not that everyone has it "all right" here, but there are many elders and pastors that we should respect and learn from). However, I have seen a couple of threads lately where it seems like you are letting your emotions get the better of you. Please treat others with respect, and you will get it.

Hey Jeff, thanks for your advice. I have to ask though, why is it me letting my emotions get the best of me and not some people just being extremely rude? Please look back and see where I respectfully tried to answer the best I could (because I did) and then see the following attacks against me.

If you are anything like me (and I suspect that you are), you have much to learn, and we should take correction and guidence from our elders with humility, not rebellion, even if we end up disagreeing.

I do have much to learn. However, I tend not to like being attacked, especially when I tried to respectfully answer the best that I could. I did not receive correction and guidance; I was attacked.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

What was the purpose? I'm not stupid. I knew I was going to be attacked. I simply shared what I believed and stated the fact that I will be accountable to God and not anyone else. Someone asked me about that and I RESPECTFULLY answered them. Then I was attacked. I must learn to keep my beliefs to myself I guess.

 

[BaptistCanuk]

Originally posted by joshua
Ok, Sir. You're the only one seeing an "attack" here.

Of course.