Daddy Day Care...Is it Biblical?

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Pergamum. The only point I would quibble on is the no kids in home. I am soo lucky to have a housewife. There are no kids running through our house. Yea, we'd have more material things if she worked, but our marriage would suffer greatly. We sooo value our time together. Time to talk, time to eat, time to laugh, time to enjoy life together. I've been tempted to have her work, but what price would we pay? I think all the other things you say are dead on right. (Really, I'm not being argumentative, I'm making a point I don't hear to often) Usually the minute the kids are gone, people think out beloved wives should go earn a buck. While bad things can and do happen, they are the exception. And the Lord gives grace (and means, and $$, and support. I've seen it)

Anyway, Thanks for the thanks! It's refreshing to hear people talk like you are about our wives. So many people don't today. It sounds very respectfull! God Bless - Grymir
 
Generally speaking, I feel pretty comfortable saying that any husband who refuses to help his wife with diaper changing or any other such duties is a jerk and has fallen prey to a grievous misunderstanding of his role.

What is the husbands role then? I think it is unfair to call him "jerk" by the way especially if they are trying to discern what his role is...
 
I could see several scenarios in which a husband who is not a jerk refusing to help his wife: (1) she demands a 50-50 split in mothering roles between her and herhusband. He thus refused to enable her in this regard, (2) She demands to get a job and goes against his counsel and he refused to take up a role that is not his.

Christian husbands will help their wives,when they need it. Praise God for those that require little help. Helping her do her role is different from being demanded to take part in her role however.
 
I have a tendancy to question any paradigm that is handed to me and I feel that the husband-has-to-pitch-in ethic may be more symptomatic of our current egalitarian society than from anything else.

I believe you are right in this. This is not to say that a husband should never pitch in and help out. Husbands are to love their wives sacrificially. But too often what motivates "the husband-has-to-pitch-in ethic" is egalitarianism rather than an admonition to love sacrificially.

If I suspected someone was encouraging me to pitch in and help because of his egalitarian ethic, I would probably ask him what the difference between being a father and being a mother is since egalitarians believe in role interchangeability for men and women in practically everything. That includes motherhood and fatherhood roles. You do believe motherhood and fatherhood are different, don't you?

So, if I change diapers, am I out of my element in doing so? I feel like I'm out of my element. Perhaps I just have too much testosterone to keep up a nurturing disposition for long. :) Still, I will do it at times. in my opinion, nurturing infants is more properly in the domain of women than men, especially since they have some equipment we men do not. If feminists had their way, fathers would probably be receiving oxytocin supplements to improve their nurturing impulse.

If husbands worked full-time jobs while their wives concerned themselves with homemaking rather than pursuing careers (or simply working a job), I doubt that husbands pitching in and helping out with infant nurturing would be such and issue.
 
I must say from a woman's perspective, it is always a pleasure to have my husband jump up and help me when things get crazy, but I agree with what has been said. It is just wrong, wrong, wrong, for men to be Mr. Mom, unless there is no mom. I applaud the men who have lost their wives and have taken on that duel role. It would be extremely tough.

I want to add this, and please guys, I'm not pointing fingers, but I felt like this thought needs to be added to the discussion. Caring for children is a 24/7 job. It never lets up. A sensitive husband who loves his wife will keep this in mind and allow her a break every now and then. While God gave women the responsibility of caring for the physical needs of children and staying home and caring for household, this does not give men an excuse to come home and sit on the couch and watch TV while she works from dawn 'til dusk. Though I don't see that kind of attitude here, it is very common in some Christian circles.
 
While God gave women the responsibility of caring for the physical needs of children and staying home and caring for household, this does not give men an excuse to come home and sit on the couch and watch TV while she works from dawn 'til dusk.
:agree:

But what about coming home at sitting at the computer on the PB?:D
 
Joshua:

Save your shock and outrage, brother, for bigger issues.

The thread is titled "Daddy Day Care". Either change the title of the thread or reduce your level of shock at our responses.

The OP talks about the ethic that says the husband HAS to pitch in. Not Can or may, but HAS to.

Coupled with this and the thread title, it appears the large chunks of time watching kids and doing mommy roles might be advocated, and that the husband of expected to feel fine about this. In fact, if we do not pitch in and do "our share" then we must be ogres.



Also the poster of the OP asked if this is a cultural norm derived from our egalitarian West, and I would say Yes, it is.

Finally, the poster targets babies 0-24 months, a time of intensive baby-mommy time (at least historically).


I have advocated (quite a lot here) that (1) yes, husbands ought to love their wives, which entails help with mommy tasks when needed (2) no, husbands are not obligated under normal circumstances, to take over mommy roles. And splitting babycare 50-50 seems to be taking over a mommy role.
 
Tough question. I know that it is customary now-a-days to have the husband "help out" the wife with very young infants. My question is, "Is this a cultural norm that we have or has this always been the case?" In other words have women-folk in the past been soley in charge of the young infants while there husbands were away at work (or at war). Did Moses change diapers? I have a tendancy to question any paradigm that is handed to me and I feel that the husband-has-to-pitch-in ethic may be more symptomatic of our current egalitarian society than from anything else. Curious about your thoughts. Be direct but on topic.

[NOTE: I am not talking about a father not educating their children and leaving that to the mother, but specifically the ages between 0-24 months]
I just bathed, creamed and powdered my 5 year old and put him in his pjays. We are about to do our Bible lessons in a few.
 
Joshua:

Okay, okay....I'll have to leave your hyperbolic shock (but no hyperbolic outrage) for next week. Blessingsand signing out for now. This neanderthal ogre might even help his wife a bit today...
 
Generally speaking, I feel pretty comfortable saying that any husband who refuses to help his wife with diaper changing or any other such duties is a jerk and has fallen prey to a grievous misunderstanding of his role.

I agree. That happens so much, I just never understood it.

So, again, in case I am not communicating the nuances well: Amen to helping your wife, and a big thumbs down to Daddy Day care.

I'm not a proponent of "natural" theology and I believe that we are limited in what we can learn from nature. But I have been a single Dad with two boys for eight years. I believe that (thanks and credit be to God) I am an unusually good "Mr. Mom." Everyone who knows me tells me so. I have even avoided dating for several years for the sake of putting my boy's lives ahead of my own interest. (I DO say this with all humility) But even with my own self-proclaimed expertise as a "Mr. Mom" when I watch my boys with my Mom or sister when they need "mothering" I see an obvious gift from God that women alone possess. We men can give it our very best but the Lord put women here to be mothers. Just my :2cents: - Kevin

I can't imagine how difficult that must be. That's good you have a mom and sister they can be around. God bless you and your family.
I would like to add that there is an obvious gift fathers have with children too. That women just can't replace. Fathers are very special. My boys love their daddy to death and vice versa. He has always helped me out and even had to teach me at first how to change a diaper and a few other things. lol He had years experience helping raise his niece and nephew while I had never really been around little kids. He is a wonderful husband and father. I'm pretty blessed.
 
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