Divorce And Matthew 5:31,32

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ISPringle

Puritan Board Freshman
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.'" -Matthew 5:31-32, ESV

I do not recall where I heard it, if I did I'd go there, but I do remember hearing, or reading, somewhere that the above passage would have been taken as humorous in Jesus' time because it is some type of circular reasoning joke. Essential the joke is: Divorce is wrong because you make an adulterer out of your wife, unless of course she is already an adulterer when you divorced her.

The unless is not that you can divorce on the grounds of adultery, but rather that she's already an adulterer in that case.

I guess I'd just shut-up and accept the common teaching that divorce is OK in cases of adultery, except I simply cannot rationally put the above verse and Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her".

Jesus loved the adulterer as much as the next sinner, so I cannot really figure out how to stick these two together without concluding that one or the other has to be wrongly interpreted.

Any thoughts or help with my above issue?

Thanks!
 
I have trouble reconciling the verses in Matthew regarding divorce and that passage in Ephesians as well. Should not loving one's spouse as Christ loved the church entail forgiving adultery? Although I daily sin and fail to love God above all else, He does not cast me away! I realize that the general consensus amongst Christians is that divorce is permitted on the grounds of adultery; however, I struggle with my opinion about this.
 
Didn't Christ have the same relationship with His Church in the OT? If so, then divorce was permitted then for the hardness of people's hearts, and so apparently, this particular aspect of Christ's relationship with His Church does not necessarily imply divorce is absolutely forbidden? Though of course, the "permission" granted for divorce should probably be seen as a concession of sorts, since divorce was not within the original design of marriage (though of course, neither was adultery or desertion)?
 
I'm fairly certain that adultery means basically a breach of contract. Therefore, when you divorce your wife, you are forcing her out of her contract with you, hence adultery. Also, when she has relations with another man besides her husband, she violates the contract, hence adultery. Divorce is therefore permissable, because the contract has already been broken by her actions.

This perspective helped me to better understand the passages.

Blessings!
 
Westminster Confession of Faith

Chapter XXIV
Of Marriage and Divorce

I. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband, at the same time.[1]

II. Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife,[2] for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the Church with an holy seed;[3] and for preventing of uncleanness.[4]

III. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent.[5] Yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord.[6] And therefore such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters: neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are notoriously wicked in their life, or maintain damnable heresies.[7]

IV. Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity forbidden by the Word.[8] Nor can such incestuous marriages ever be made lawful by any law of man or consent of parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.[9] The man may not marry any of his wife's kindred, nearer in blood then he may of his own: nor the woman of her husband's kindred, nearer in blood than of her own.[10]

V. Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, gives just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract.[11] In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce and, after the divorce,[12] to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.[13]

VI. Although the corruption of man be such as is apt to study arguments unduly to put asunder those whom God has joined together in marriage: yet, nothing but adultery, or such wilful desertion as can no way be remedied by the Church, or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage:[14] wherein, a public and orderly course of proceeding is to be observed; and the persons concerned in it not left to their own wills, and discretion, in their own case.[15]
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Scripture Proofs

[1] GEN 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. MAT 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. PRO 2:17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.

[2] GEN 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

[3] MAL 2:15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

[4] 1CO 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

[5] HEB 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. 1TI 4:3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. 1CO 7:36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. GEN 24:57 And they said, We will call the damsel, and inquire at her mouth.

[6] 1CO 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

[7] GEN 34:14 And they said unto them, We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one that is uncircumcised; for that were a reproach unto us. EXO 34:16 And thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods. DEU 7:3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. 4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly. 1KI 11:4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. NEH 13:25 And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves. 26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin. 27 Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives? MAL 2:11 Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god. 12 The Lord will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob, and him that offereth an offering unto the Lord of hosts. 2CO 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

[8] (LEV 18) 1CO 5:1 It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife. AMO 2:7 That pant after the dust of the earth on the head of the poor, and turn aside the way of the meek: and a man and his father will go in unto the same maid, to profane my holy name.

[9] MAR 6:18 For John had said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have thy brother's wife. LEV 18:24 Defile not ye yourselves in any of these things: for in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you: 25 And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants. 26 Ye shall therefore keep my statutes and my judgments, and shall not commit any of these abominations; neither any of your own nation, nor any stranger that sojourneth among you: 27 (For all these abominations have the men of the land done, which were before you, and the land is defiled;) 28 That the land spue not you out also, when ye defile it, as it spued out the nations that were before you.

[10] LEV 20:19 And thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister, nor of thy father's sister: for he uncovereth his near kin: they shall bear their iniquity. 20 And if a man shall lie with his uncle's wife, he hath uncovered his uncle's nakedness: they shall bear their sin; they shall die childless. 21 And if a man shall take his brother's wife, it is an unclean thing: he hath uncovered his brother's nakedness; they shall be childless.

[11] MAT 1:18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. 19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. 20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

[12] MAT 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

[13] MAT 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. ROM 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

[14] MAT 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 1CO 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. MAT 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

[15] DEU 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. 3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; 4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
 
Francesca, the fact that adultery is (was) a death penalty offense helped me to understand this.

The adulterous partner should have been put to death, after of course being fairly convicted.

Once dead, the innocent spouse is free to remarry.

If the death penalty is not carried out, due to malfeasance on the part of the civil magistrate, it seems to me the innocent spouse should still be free to remarry.

I would draw a similar analogy in the instance of, say, a spouse who molesst his/her children. They really should be put to death for that, at least in my opinion. Anyway, current law will not have them put to death, but probably just put away for a few years. I think in that instance the innocent spouse can and should remarry, since they are presumably in their younger years and their poor kids could probably use a much better example of a mom/dad.

I am in no authority and don't mean to be flippant, but I think the existence of the death penalty, even if not consistently or truly applied, has at least some bearing on an innocent spouse being allowed to remarry.
 
I have trouble reconciling the verses in Matthew regarding divorce and that passage in Ephesians as well. Should not loving one's spouse as Christ loved the church entail forgiving adultery? Although I daily sin and fail to love God above all else, He does not cast me away! I realize that the general consensus amongst Christians is that divorce is permitted on the grounds of adultery; however, I struggle with my opinion about this.


The Westminster Confession summarizes the doctrine of Scripture on this well. It doesn't address quite everything, but most of it.

I think the biblical answer to your question is that the innocent party to adultery MAY. It is not a requirement, the highest road is always reconciliation.

It may be God provided this to prevent undue hardship on an innocent spouse, but that is getting into speculation because the Scripture does not clearly say that.

Notice also Westminster says the parties are not to be left to themselves, the church and/or the state are to be involved in making the narrow determination of whether it is applicable.

It is indeed narrow, not generally a unilateral decision, and never required. One can certainly imagine a pattern of adultery ongoing as being an incredible repudiation.

This is indeed difficult as it bothers me there can be any exception, but I have come to see these are the biblical principles, widely violated in our time, with enormous, lifetime consequences.
 
Thank you all for the replies! This has given me much to think over.

Miss Marple: I have heard the argument about adultery and the death penalty before. It does help in understanding this somewhat; however, one thing does give me pause. Other sins also carried the death penalty as punishment, correct? So then wouldn't those other sins also be cause for divorce?
 
Jesus loved the adulterer as much as the next sinner, so I cannot really figure out how to stick these two together without concluding that one or the other has to be wrongly interpreted.

The analogy is breaking down at the point where "adultery" is being considered in only one sense. The physical union of husband and wife is likened to the the spiritual union between Christ and the church, but the scenario only allows for physical adultery in both cases. If we take into account the sad reality of spiritual adultery in the church, and apply the Scriptures where God cut off Israel under the Old Testament, and Christ cuts off faithless members of the visible church under the New, the analogy and likeness will appear more clearly.
 
I am in no authority and don't mean to be flippant, but I think the existence of the death penalty, even if not consistently or truly applied, has at least some bearing on an innocent spouse being allowed to remarry.

Something else that might be worth considering -- divorce frees the married person. If it frees the innocent person, it also frees the guilty person. If the guilty person is not put to death, he or she is also free to remarry.
 
"Other sins also carried the death penalty as punishment, correct? So then wouldn't those other sins also be cause for divorce? "

It would seem so, logically, to me. At least it is a point to be considered.
 
Other sins in and of themselves are not a legitimate cause for divorce.
 
"Other sins also carried the death penalty as punishment, correct? So then wouldn't those other sins also be cause for divorce? "

It would seem so, logically, to me. At least it is a point to be considered.

The scripture only tells of adultery and abandonment. We ought not add to what has been given. Given the nature of sabbath observation in this country, everyone would be entitled to divorce their spouse.
 
Mr Moran, Pastor Winzer, I don't endorse divorce in these circumstances, I was just admitting that it would be a logical conclusion for the "adultery is grounds for divorce since the adulterer should have been put to death" argument.

I am not certain about the issue, hope I never have to face it, and was just trying to present the argument as I best knew it, because it did help me understand the issue somewhat.
 
I believe one of the better known theonomists took the position that crimes that would have resulted in a death sentence under OT civil law are grounds for divorce. I'm not convinced.
 
Some have taken the words "sexual immorality" to erroneous conclusions because they are translated from the Greek word "porneía". The reasoning is that, since porneía can sometimes refer to spiritual adultery, a person can find just grounds for divorce more easily. For instance, if one spouse becomes an unbeliever, that would be spiritual adultery. Their spouse could then legitimately divorce on the grounds of "porneía" because the unbelieving spouse left the faith. But this opens the door wide for divorce because all sin can be viewed as spiritual adultery. Jesus gave us narrow criteria for divorce. If we trade it for a broad interpretation, everyone who is now married would seem to have a just ground for divorce.
 
I guess I'd just shut-up and accept the common teaching that divorce is OK in cases of adultery, except I simply cannot rationally put the above verse and Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her".

Jesus loved the adulterer as much as the next sinner, so I cannot really figure out how to stick these two together without concluding that one or the other has to be wrongly interpreted.

Any thoughts or help with my above issue?

Thanks!

The following line of thought has been bouncing around in my head:

The respective parties to these covenants/contracts should be considered. When Adam (and we in Adam) broke the Covenant of Works (parties: God, Adam), God instituted a new Covenant of Grace (parties: God, Christ). Although we are beneficiaries of the Covenant of Grace in our union with Christ, we are not a party to the Covenant of Grace. When the condition of the marriage contract (parties: Husband, Wife) is transgressed by adultery, there is the option for the innocent spouse to dissolve the contract through divorce. In this way there is a parallel between God’s action after Adam’s betrayal and the innocent spouse’s action after their spouse’s betrayal.


WLC

Question 22: Did all mankind fall in that first transgression ?

Answer: The covenant being made with Adam as a public person, not for himself only, but for his posterity, all mankind descending from him by ordinary generation, sinned in him, and fell with him in that first transgression.

Question 31: With whom was the covenant of grace made?

Answer: The covenant of grace was made with Christ as the second Adam, and in him with all the elect as his seed.

WCF
CHAPTER 24

Of Marriage and Divorce.

I. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband at the same time.

V. Adultery or fornication, committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce, and after the divorce to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.
 
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