jason d
Puritan Board Freshman
<p><img align="right" height="435" src="http://lghttp.12749.nexcesscdn.net/80612D/magento/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/9/7/9781610453349.jpg" width="363" />There are plenty of solid, more thorough reviews of this book, so let me start with talking about the audiobook quality itself and then I will get to a review of the content itself.</p>
<p><strong>Audiobook:</strong></p>
<p>ChristianAudio.com gave me the opportunity to review the <a href="http://christianaudio.com/real-marriage-mark-driscoll-grace-driscoll">"Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together" by Mark & Grace Driscoll audiobook</a> with no obligations to write positively. I listen to several audiobooks a month and I, 99% of the time, enjoy the audio quality and voices of those who read the books on ChristianAudio.com. I have even heard past audiobooks by Mark Driscoll and enjoy them (audio wise) because the author himself reads the book, and this is always a plus to me.</p>
<p>This audiobook has a male that read the portions of the book by Mark Driscoll (<a href="http://christianaudio.com/catalogsearch/advanced/result/?narrator=William+Dufris+and+Tavia+Gilbert">William Dufris</a>) and another for the portions of the book by Grace Driscoll (<a href="http://christianaudio.com/catalogsearch/advanced/result/?narrator=William+Dufris+and+Tavia+Gilbert">Tavia Gilbert</a>), I liked that. However, the male's voice is so wacky and silly sounding that it is hard to take it seriously at times. I even found myself laughing out loud at how he emphasized certain parts of words in such strange ways. The women's voice was nice and easy to listen to, something that I have come to expect from audiobooks (especially if they expect one to pay $12.98 for it!)</p>
<p><strong>The book itself:</strong></p>
<p>There are high points of the book. It has an excellent explanations of:</p>
<ol>
<li>practical complementarianism (what godly male headship and womenly submission look like)</li>
<li>being a friend to our spouses</li>
<li>dealing with conflict in marriage</li>
<li>the need for repentance and grace in marriage</li>
<li>help for those who have been sexually abused</li>
<li>dealing with one's p0rnography past (or present)</li>
</ol>
<p>All of these where good, but the only one that I have never read in another book (or heard on a sermon dealing with marriage) was the chapter on friendship. Besides that the only thing that sets this book apart is how the Driscoll's deal with the controversial question posed as chapter 10, "Can we ____?" (the blank they fill in with a plethora of different sexual acts.)</p>
<p>In short, I only made it through 20 minutes of this controversial 64 minute chapter. I honestly felt dirty listening to this part. I found it absurd how explicit this portion of the book was getting and had to, for conscience sake and to not defile myself, skip to the next chapter.</p>
<p>In short, the high points of the book do not make it worth getting this book for the bad stuff in the book. As has been well noted, Driscoll continues to use the Song of Solomon as a sex manual, and his framework for what is allowed in the marriage bed is based off poor exegesis (this has been well documented throughout the years, <a href="http://www.reformation21.org/blog/2011/12/no-sex-please-im-british.php">see here</a> and <a href="http://media.sermonaudio.com/mediapdf/417091244255.pdf">here</a> and <a href="http://www.dennyburk.com/my-review-of-mark-driscolls-real-marriage/">here</a> and <a href="http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/real-marriage-can-we">here</a> for some examples.)</p>
<p>As has been pointed out by some it really overlooks the foundation of marriage (Christ and the church) and has about 10x more statistics than it does Scripture (even though some of that Scripture is twisted, I would contend.)</p>
<p>Though the book has SOME great practical advice, there is nothing new (besides that 10th chapter and chapter on friendship.), and sadly this book is #1 on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles already (and it just came out today.) As a brother in Christ I urge you in no way to support this book. If the good stuff from above sounds helpful to you then let me suggest alternative books for the issues above (some even recommended by this book itself):</p>
<ol>
<li>practical complementarianism (<a href="http://www.cbmw.org/index.php">check out complementarian resources from the Centern for Biblical Manhood & Womenhood.</a>)</li>
<li>Being a friend to our spouses (not sure where to go to find some good resources on this.)</li>
<li>Dealing with conflict in marriage (<a href="http://www.cbmw.org/index.php">The Peacemaker</a> or <a href="everyday+">Resolving Everyday Conflict</a> both by Ken Sande)</li>
<li>the need for repentance and grace in marriage (same two books as above)</li>
<li>help for those who have been sexually abused (<a href="http://www.bing.com/shopping/search?q=Rid+of+My+Disgrace&go=&form=QBRE&aq=Rid+of+My+Disgrace&aid=&ct=&qs=n&pq=Rid+of+My+Disgrace&sp=&rt=Completions&tk=&spv=&sl=E&sc=&st=&ast=BB">Rid of My Disgrace)</a></li>
<li>dealing with one's p0rnography past (or present) (<a href="http://www.bing.com/shopping/sexual-detoxa-guide-for-guys-who-are-sick-of-p0rn/p/AF0200000DD1B5555009?q=sexual+detox+by+tim+challies&lpf=0&lpq=sexual%2bdetox%2bby%2btim%2bchallies&FORM=EGCA&lppc=16">Sexual Detox</a> by Tim Challies)</li>
</ol>
<p>As for dealing with the foundations of marriage I would recommend John Piper's <a href="http://www.bing.com/shopping/search?q=john+piper+this+momentary+marriage&go=&form=QBRE&aq=john+piper+this+momentary+marriage&aid=&ct=&qs=n&pq=john+piper+this+momentary+marriage&sp=&rt=Completions&tk=&spv=&sl=E&sc=&st=&ast=B">"This Momentary Marriage"</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Audiobook:</strong></p>
<p>ChristianAudio.com gave me the opportunity to review the <a href="http://christianaudio.com/real-marriage-mark-driscoll-grace-driscoll">"Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together" by Mark & Grace Driscoll audiobook</a> with no obligations to write positively. I listen to several audiobooks a month and I, 99% of the time, enjoy the audio quality and voices of those who read the books on ChristianAudio.com. I have even heard past audiobooks by Mark Driscoll and enjoy them (audio wise) because the author himself reads the book, and this is always a plus to me.</p>
<p>This audiobook has a male that read the portions of the book by Mark Driscoll (<a href="http://christianaudio.com/catalogsearch/advanced/result/?narrator=William+Dufris+and+Tavia+Gilbert">William Dufris</a>) and another for the portions of the book by Grace Driscoll (<a href="http://christianaudio.com/catalogsearch/advanced/result/?narrator=William+Dufris+and+Tavia+Gilbert">Tavia Gilbert</a>), I liked that. However, the male's voice is so wacky and silly sounding that it is hard to take it seriously at times. I even found myself laughing out loud at how he emphasized certain parts of words in such strange ways. The women's voice was nice and easy to listen to, something that I have come to expect from audiobooks (especially if they expect one to pay $12.98 for it!)</p>
<p><strong>The book itself:</strong></p>
<p>There are high points of the book. It has an excellent explanations of:</p>
<ol>
<li>practical complementarianism (what godly male headship and womenly submission look like)</li>
<li>being a friend to our spouses</li>
<li>dealing with conflict in marriage</li>
<li>the need for repentance and grace in marriage</li>
<li>help for those who have been sexually abused</li>
<li>dealing with one's p0rnography past (or present)</li>
</ol>
<p>All of these where good, but the only one that I have never read in another book (or heard on a sermon dealing with marriage) was the chapter on friendship. Besides that the only thing that sets this book apart is how the Driscoll's deal with the controversial question posed as chapter 10, "Can we ____?" (the blank they fill in with a plethora of different sexual acts.)</p>
<p>In short, I only made it through 20 minutes of this controversial 64 minute chapter. I honestly felt dirty listening to this part. I found it absurd how explicit this portion of the book was getting and had to, for conscience sake and to not defile myself, skip to the next chapter.</p>
<p>In short, the high points of the book do not make it worth getting this book for the bad stuff in the book. As has been well noted, Driscoll continues to use the Song of Solomon as a sex manual, and his framework for what is allowed in the marriage bed is based off poor exegesis (this has been well documented throughout the years, <a href="http://www.reformation21.org/blog/2011/12/no-sex-please-im-british.php">see here</a> and <a href="http://media.sermonaudio.com/mediapdf/417091244255.pdf">here</a> and <a href="http://www.dennyburk.com/my-review-of-mark-driscolls-real-marriage/">here</a> and <a href="http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/real-marriage-can-we">here</a> for some examples.)</p>
<p>As has been pointed out by some it really overlooks the foundation of marriage (Christ and the church) and has about 10x more statistics than it does Scripture (even though some of that Scripture is twisted, I would contend.)</p>
<p>Though the book has SOME great practical advice, there is nothing new (besides that 10th chapter and chapter on friendship.), and sadly this book is #1 on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles already (and it just came out today.) As a brother in Christ I urge you in no way to support this book. If the good stuff from above sounds helpful to you then let me suggest alternative books for the issues above (some even recommended by this book itself):</p>
<ol>
<li>practical complementarianism (<a href="http://www.cbmw.org/index.php">check out complementarian resources from the Centern for Biblical Manhood & Womenhood.</a>)</li>
<li>Being a friend to our spouses (not sure where to go to find some good resources on this.)</li>
<li>Dealing with conflict in marriage (<a href="http://www.cbmw.org/index.php">The Peacemaker</a> or <a href="everyday+">Resolving Everyday Conflict</a> both by Ken Sande)</li>
<li>the need for repentance and grace in marriage (same two books as above)</li>
<li>help for those who have been sexually abused (<a href="http://www.bing.com/shopping/search?q=Rid+of+My+Disgrace&go=&form=QBRE&aq=Rid+of+My+Disgrace&aid=&ct=&qs=n&pq=Rid+of+My+Disgrace&sp=&rt=Completions&tk=&spv=&sl=E&sc=&st=&ast=BB">Rid of My Disgrace)</a></li>
<li>dealing with one's p0rnography past (or present) (<a href="http://www.bing.com/shopping/sexual-detoxa-guide-for-guys-who-are-sick-of-p0rn/p/AF0200000DD1B5555009?q=sexual+detox+by+tim+challies&lpf=0&lpq=sexual%2bdetox%2bby%2btim%2bchallies&FORM=EGCA&lppc=16">Sexual Detox</a> by Tim Challies)</li>
</ol>
<p>As for dealing with the foundations of marriage I would recommend John Piper's <a href="http://www.bing.com/shopping/search?q=john+piper+this+momentary+marriage&go=&form=QBRE&aq=john+piper+this+momentary+marriage&aid=&ct=&qs=n&pq=john+piper+this+momentary+marriage&sp=&rt=Completions&tk=&spv=&sl=E&sc=&st=&ast=B">"This Momentary Marriage"</a>.</p>