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Discussion in 'Entertainment and Humor' started by caddy, Aug 4, 2008.
'Hold on to your lug nuts, it's time for an overhaul.'
From the Mask. Jim Carrey
Five Easy Pieces
[Bobby (played by Jack Nicholson) wants plain toast, which isn't on the menu]
Bobby: I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress: A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.
Now that's funny!
I don't get it.
From the movie, Five Easy Pieces. If you see the movie you'll get it. Basically Jack playing a jerk, but that may be too simplistic.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wtfNE4z6a8]YouTube - Five Easy Pieces Diner Scene[/ame]
Raising Arizona had some good ones;
"Hi, you're young, you got your health, what do you want with a job?"
"Hi, your'e sittin' in the veritable catbird seat!"
"Boy, you got a panty on yore haid!"
"Disgruntled employees?! Son, we ain't runnin' a daisy farm here! Hell, they're all disgruntled employees!"
How about this one.
Finally, about 30 minute into the movie, the star finally speaks his first line: (in an Ausie accent)
"A few days ago I saw a rig that could haul that tanker. You wanna get out o' here? You talk to me."
my favorite came from a movie 30 years ago (whose name I couldn't possibly remember) with Ryan O'Neal and Jacqueline Bisset. She's leaving him and their relationship because of her now burgeoning feminist views.
He says to her, "Why don't you stop trying to be a second class man and try being a first class woman?"
Funny movie lines:
(Groucho Marks From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
One morning, I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas I don't know. (Animal Crackers)
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you: he really is an idiot. (Groucho Marx in Duck Soup, 1933)
(Mel Brooks I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.
(W.C. Fields A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink
" Everybody dies. It was just his turn " - John Wayne in Hondo
"I'll be your huckleberry." Doc Holiday (Val Kilmer) in Tombstone
"Say hello to my little friend!" Scarface
The Thief Who Came to Dinner?
Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior:
Max: Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me.
Verbal Kint: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. - The Usual Suspects Quotes (1995)
Jack Nicholson from "As Good As It Gets", when asked by an adoring fan how he, a famous novelist, writes women characters so well:
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."
(Don't anybody tell my wife I posted that)