Christislordllwp
Puritan Board Freshman
Greetings family in Christ! I would like to confess that I have recently been struggling in my conscience with regards to a particular section of scripture and how it may pertain to my spiritual condition. Below I will paste a copy of my testimony, written in verity from the heart. No pastor that I have ever had has ever warned me or flagged me, yet, I often wrestle with myself and the Lord about the order of my conversion. I would note, my pastor currently has been walking through this with me and has been of the utmost encouragement, and I’d add that I even find myself entirely persuaded at times that I have no cause for concern. However, I would love encouragement and counsel from more godly brothers in Christ who may have wisdom and grace to share to my specific situation.
**(HERE IS MY TESTIMONY)**
I was not raised in a Christian home. Growing up, there were always some elements of cultural or nominal Christianity, but never any godly leadership or true Spirit led commitment. That being said, when I was early high school age I began to get myself in a lot of trouble. The severity of my rebellion led my mother to believe I needed to be at church, or at least involved in a "positive" community. So I began. Attending a big evangelical church and that led to me getting baptized at 15. Only a short time after, I begin leading a life, deeper in sin and rebellion than even before and dabbling with the occult and satanism. I hated God and I was mad at Him. I ended up with many problems and addictions. I am now of the conviction that this was not a true conversion. It wasn't until 2017 that the Holy Spirit began to work repentance in my heart. At this point I felt the weight of my sin and guilt and I knew that I was destined for hell, my deception had reached its limit and I could no longer suppress the truth. By the grace of God ALONE I repented of my sin and began to trust in Jesus for salvation. It became increasingly evident to me with time and maturity that my previous religious experience lacked true repentance as evidenced by a relaxed knowledge of my sin and rebellion to God, and not submitting to the Lordship of Jesus. I am so grateful to the Lord that He was so patient with me in conversion and now in sanctification!
Now, in light of Hebrews 6, does anyone see any concern with my testimony? Does anyone of you share a similar testimony or have any wisdom that would apply. Deep down I have felt fear that I am beyond repair, but that goes against my love for Christ, desire to grow and the counsel that my pastors have historically given.
With Love,
Mr.B
**(HERE IS MY TESTIMONY)**
I was not raised in a Christian home. Growing up, there were always some elements of cultural or nominal Christianity, but never any godly leadership or true Spirit led commitment. That being said, when I was early high school age I began to get myself in a lot of trouble. The severity of my rebellion led my mother to believe I needed to be at church, or at least involved in a "positive" community. So I began. Attending a big evangelical church and that led to me getting baptized at 15. Only a short time after, I begin leading a life, deeper in sin and rebellion than even before and dabbling with the occult and satanism. I hated God and I was mad at Him. I ended up with many problems and addictions. I am now of the conviction that this was not a true conversion. It wasn't until 2017 that the Holy Spirit began to work repentance in my heart. At this point I felt the weight of my sin and guilt and I knew that I was destined for hell, my deception had reached its limit and I could no longer suppress the truth. By the grace of God ALONE I repented of my sin and began to trust in Jesus for salvation. It became increasingly evident to me with time and maturity that my previous religious experience lacked true repentance as evidenced by a relaxed knowledge of my sin and rebellion to God, and not submitting to the Lordship of Jesus. I am so grateful to the Lord that He was so patient with me in conversion and now in sanctification!
Now, in light of Hebrews 6, does anyone see any concern with my testimony? Does anyone of you share a similar testimony or have any wisdom that would apply. Deep down I have felt fear that I am beyond repair, but that goes against my love for Christ, desire to grow and the counsel that my pastors have historically given.
With Love,
Mr.B
