How many posts until you graduate from Puritanboard Freshman?

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Humor' started by Jon 316, Mar 4, 2009.

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  1. Athaleyah

    Athaleyah Puritan Board Sophomore

    It is only illogical until we get our Unifying Thread Theory is completed, then it will all fall into place as high level reasoning about the nature of God and the universe.
     
  2. Whitefield

    Whitefield Puritan Board Junior

    The CT or the TR version of "the thread"?
     
  3. Athaleyah

    Athaleyah Puritan Board Sophomore

    It was a short dialogue showing how Anakin won Padme's love by the sheer power of his constant whining and complaining.
     
  4. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    But have we brought the Ed Wood masterpiece, 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' into it's proper lack of focus?

    Theognome
     
  5. Athaleyah

    Athaleyah Puritan Board Sophomore

    Do we have the proper wobbling tombstones to do that?
     
  6. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Of course- and of course we have film (or at least avatars) of plenty of dead people to make star performances!

    Theognome
     
  7. Grymir

    Grymir Puritan Board Graduate

    super-glue!
     
  8. Whitefield

    Whitefield Puritan Board Junior

    I thought I would bring some literary redemption to this thread:

     
  9. Grymir

    Grymir Puritan Board Graduate

    :augustine::applause:
     
  10. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    THIS is literary redemption!

    The Cremation of Sam McGee

    There are strange things done in the midnight sun
    By the men who moil for gold;
    The Arctic trails have their secret tales
    That would make your blood run cold;
    The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
    But the queerest they ever did see
    Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
    I cremated Sam McGee.

    Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where
    the cotton blooms and blows.
    Why he left his home in the South to roam
    'round the Pole' God only knows.
    He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed
    to hold him like a spell;
    Though he'd often say in his homely way that
    "he'd sooner live in hell."


    On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way
    over the Dawson trail.
    Talk of your cold! Through the parka's fold it
    stabbed like a driven nail.
    If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till
    sometimes we couldn't see;
    It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper
    was Sam MaGee.
    And that very night, as we lay packed tight in
    our robes beneath the snow,
    And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead
    were dancing heel and toe,
    He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash
    in this trip, I guess;
    And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my
    last request."

    Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no;
    then he says with a sort of moan:
    "It's the cursed cold, and it's got right hold till
    I'm chilled clean through to the bone.
    Yet 'tain't being dead--it's my awful dread of
    the icy grave that pains;
    So I want you to swear that, foul or fair,you'll
    cremate my last remains."
    A pal's last need is a thing to heed, so I swore
    I would not fail;
    And we started on at the streak of dawn; but
    God! he looked ghastley pale.
    He crouched on the sleigh , and he raved all day
    of his home in Tennessee;
    And before nightfall a corspe was all that was
    left of Sam McGee.

    There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and
    I hurried, horror-driven,
    With a corspe half hid that I couldn't get rid,
    because of a promise given;
    It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say:
    "You may tax your brawn and brains,
    But you promised true, and it's up to you to
    cremate those last remains.
    Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the
    trail has its own stern code.
    In the days to come, though my lips were dumb,
    in my heart how I cursed that load.
    In the long, long night, by the lone firelight,
    while the huskies, round in a ring,
    Howled out their woes to the homeless snows
    --O God! how I loathed the thing.

    And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy
    and heavier grow;
    And on I went, though the dogs were spent and
    the grub was getting low;
    The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I
    swore I would not give in;
    And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it
    hearkened with a grin.
    Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and
    a derelict there lay;
    It was jammed in the ice, but I was in a trice it
    was called the "Alice May."
    And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I
    looked at my frozen chum;
    Then "Here." said I, with a sudden cry, "is
    my cr-ma-tor-eum."

    Some planks I tore from the cabin floor and I
    lit the boiler fire;
    Some coal I found that was lying around, and I
    heaped the fuel higher;
    The flames just soared, and the furnace roared
    --such a blaze you seldom see;
    And I burrowed a hole in the flowing coal, and I stuffed Sam McGee.
    Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him
    sizzle so;
    And the heavens scowled, and the huskies
    howled, and the wind began to blow.
    It was icy cold; but the hot sweat rolled down my
    cheeks, and I don't know why;
    And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went
    streaking down the sky.

    I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled
    with grisly fear;
    But the stars came out and they danced about
    ere again I ventured near;
    I was sick with dread, but I bravely said; "I'll
    just take a peep inside.
    I quess he's cooked, and it's time I looked";...
    then the door opened wide.
    And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the
    heart of the furnace roar;
    And he wore a smile you could see for a mile, and
    he said: "please close the door.
    It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in
    the cold and storm--
    Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's
    the first time I've been warm."

    There are strange things done in the midnight sun
    By the men who moil for gold;
    The Artic trail have their secret tales
    That would make your blood run cold;
    The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
    But the queerest they ever did see
    Was the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
    I cremated Sam McGee.
     
  11. Zenas

    Zenas Snow Miser

    Poultry.
     
  12. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    You're just chicken!

    Theognome
     
  13. Whitefield

    Whitefield Puritan Board Junior

    Next time, put the lids on the paint buckets.

    [​IMG]
     
  14. Calvinist Cowboy

    Calvinist Cowboy Puritan Board Junior

    that's hideous, Theognome! I'm afraid you've totally destroyed the thread's relevance!
     
  15. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Thank you.

    Theognome

    -----Added 3/11/2009 at 10:47:23 EST-----

    Oh... and here is someone that The Emergent must not forget...


    [video=youtube;z52uxxyEy0E]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z52uxxyEy0E[/video]


    Theognome
     
  16. Michael Doyle

    Michael Doyle Puritan Board Junior

    Im going old school

    [video=youtube;sf_Oz9yFAak]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf_Oz9yFAak&feature=related[/video]
     
  17. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Also old school...


    [video=youtube;b21nxQ6nffE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b21nxQ6nffE[/video]


    Theognome
     
  18. dbroyles

    dbroyles Puritan Board Freshman


    One of my all time favorite poems. My freshman roommate (eons ago) from AK had this one memorized.
     
  19. tellville

    tellville Puritan Board Junior

    New School:

    [video=youtube;LoGYx35ypus]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoGYx35ypus[/video]
     
  20. turmeric

    turmeric Megerator

    Mark, I totally love that video. It deserves it's own thread.
     
  21. Grymir

    Grymir Puritan Board Graduate

    Oh come on, can't we just get beyond the thunderdome?

    :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  22. charliejunfan

    charliejunfan Puritan Board Senior

    Why do we call it a thread anyways? :think:
     
  23. Grymir

    Grymir Puritan Board Graduate

    According to Leonard Maltin, this thread is every bit as good as Laserblast.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2009
  24. Zenas

    Zenas Snow Miser

    Pumpkin.
     
  25. Skyler

    Skyler Puritan Board Graduate

    Oh noze! We dropt of teh hot threads list!!!11!1!!
     
  26. OPC'n

    OPC'n Puritan Board Doctor

    No one has answered my question
     
  27. charliejunfan

    charliejunfan Puritan Board Senior

    The answer to your question is...that...the best baptism debates ordered from 1(best) to 6(least best) are:
    1. Dr.Strimple vs. Fred Malone
    2. David Vandrunen vs. Thomas Shreiner
    3. Paul Manata vs. Gene Cook
    4. Greg Strawbridge vs. James White
    5. William Shishko vs. James White
    6. Dr.Strimple and partner vs. James White and partner

    Does anyone know of any other debates available anywhere? between Presbyterian and RB?
     
  28. Whitefield

    Whitefield Puritan Board Junior

    Are questions really ever answered? But truly, answers can be questioned.
     
  29. apaleífo̱

    apaleífo̱ Puritan Board Freshman

    What in Heaven's name has this thread degenerated into, my brethren? Why, what if the Quakers found about this -- or, worse, the Puseyites? On behalf of the good name of Calvinism, I am thoroughly scandalized!
     
  30. charliejunfan

    charliejunfan Puritan Board Senior

    Yeah well, start a board called Calvilamp.....just do it....you'll feel better......????
     
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