tulip@andromeda
Puritan Board Freshman
I'm a 25-yo Asian woman and a Reformed Christian for about 11 years. I became a Christian shortly after my family and I immigrated to America from Taiwan. Recently I met a Caucasian man online, a fellow Calvinist who went to Bible college and got an MA in Christian Counseling & Discipleship after that. His goal in life is to be an ordained elder or pastor, and teach in seminary (he still needs to get more education to get there).
He and I have been in a courtship for 4 and a half months now and we know we want to marry each other. We not only want to marry, we would like to do so this year. Knowing we are ready and willing to commit ourselves to each other, delaying marriage seems unwise (Westminster Larger Catechism).
However, my mom, a new believer, is adamantly opposed to the plan because he, as a teacher at a private Christian school, is not well off. My mom has threatened to disown me if I marry him.
I want to respect my mom and make her happy, because she poured out herself as a single mom in order to raise me. Further, I don't want her to stumble in her already weak faith -- she was baptized this past Christmas, but she still thinks abortion is acceptable and tells me to lie all the time. At the same time, I want to honor God in marriage, whereby sexual immorality would be avoided.
Should I postpone marriage for another year or two, to give my mom time to get to know my boyfriend (there's also the language barrier problem), and perhaps she'll change her mind? Or should I proceed with marriage plans?
p.s. My boyfriend's father, a retired chaplain and now a pastor in Boston area, has done marriage counseling for 30+ years and sees no problem with us getting married this year. The mother is supportive as well.
He and I have been in a courtship for 4 and a half months now and we know we want to marry each other. We not only want to marry, we would like to do so this year. Knowing we are ready and willing to commit ourselves to each other, delaying marriage seems unwise (Westminster Larger Catechism).
However, my mom, a new believer, is adamantly opposed to the plan because he, as a teacher at a private Christian school, is not well off. My mom has threatened to disown me if I marry him.
I want to respect my mom and make her happy, because she poured out herself as a single mom in order to raise me. Further, I don't want her to stumble in her already weak faith -- she was baptized this past Christmas, but she still thinks abortion is acceptable and tells me to lie all the time. At the same time, I want to honor God in marriage, whereby sexual immorality would be avoided.
Should I postpone marriage for another year or two, to give my mom time to get to know my boyfriend (there's also the language barrier problem), and perhaps she'll change her mind? Or should I proceed with marriage plans?
p.s. My boyfriend's father, a retired chaplain and now a pastor in Boston area, has done marriage counseling for 30+ years and sees no problem with us getting married this year. The mother is supportive as well.