How to talk to a Muslim girl

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DeborahtheJudge

Puritan Board Freshman
I am having a difficult time talking to a muslim girl. This seems to be a common problem with muslims I know. Let me quote some of what has been said so far.

It started when I posted a video of a man giving his testimony, he had converted from Islam. Now, he wasn't the best Muslim and this bothered the girl. Further in the conversation I said:

You're right, I don't think it will persuade a Muslim. But I find it encouraging that he was forgiven of his sins and found peace in Jesus Christ. Do you find it encouraging that he is a Christian, believing Christ was in fact the Messiah (savior of the human race)?

What do you think about this? I was thinking about posting it:
YouTube - The Crucifixion Debate: Opening Part I

"Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Messiah. Such a man is the antichrist-he denies the Father and the Son." (1 John 2:22)

Her reply consisted of quoting the quran and such.
Anyways, she ended up saying:
Islam has been the only religion sent by God from the beginning of Adam and Eve; the torah and gospel, were the same as the quran, but the people of the book kept on revising and changing them; the quran has never been changed and that is why it was sent down as the final book and Allah said that he has made it so no one can ever change it. I don'... See Moret mean to sound like i'm arguing at all. Essentially were all meant to follow the same religion; the only difference today is that, people have tampered with God's words. That's all. When the truth becomes fabricated by people, people become confused and begin to argue over nothing really. But we all have One God and One Religion, and we are all united through love and respect for one another.

The last half is the same reply I always get. "We all worship the same god, its no big deal, people are confused."

My first instinct was to reply sarcastically "Thousands of Christians suffer and die in muslim countries, its nothing, really."

Oh, keep in mind we go to a Catholic university so they hear that we worship the same god and never anything about Jesus except moralistic spins on his teachings.

Should I say something like, "I know the quran tells you to say that, but its actually insulting to Christians" Should I just stick the Gospel in there somewhere? I think she has an understanding of the Gospel already...
Or should I send her more James White clips? :)
 
I, too, find it insulting to be told I worship the same god as Muslims (or any false religion, for that matter). If a Muslim told me that, I would politely insist that I worship the Triune God of the Bible, and that that means Jesus Christ, too. That should be enough to convince them otherwise. If necessary (and it probably would be), I would back that up with Scripture indicating the divinity of God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.
 
You might perhaps politely point out that Scripture claims that it is a big deal, and that we are to try the spirits whether they speak according to that Word; and that all those who do not, are false prophets?

I have learned (because perhaps I'm not very able at defending truth directly!) to pray for an opportunity to show love in some way and to be able to speak more directly (even if just by actions or I hope, my manner of life) to the reasons that people are rejecting God.
 
Relationships with Muslims take time, a lot of time, even though we're talking about here in the U.S.

My limited training includes starting with areas other than Jesus directly because of this--how do we get to heaven, for example. It can often break down into trying to persuade them where the Qu'ran is wrong rather than where the Bible is right, which will be likely fruitless. Continue to present the biblical view of whatever topic you're discussing--do not let her put you on the defensive, deliberately or not. My :2cents:
 
Some advice:


--Pray for and WITH this girl:

Ask if she would allow you to pray for her whenever she has any problems and stresses in her life. Love and care for her may be more effective than apologetical technique if she is fundamentally closed to hearing you in the first place.


--Stress your personal relationship with God:

God is our Father, and we are His children. We pray out of love and prayer is a privilege, not merely a duty.



--Stress your assurance as a believer:

We can have a sense of assurance because, if we believe, we fear hell no more. Muslims cannot have any sort of assurance.



--Be quick to admit and apologize for any past wrongdoings to Muslims by Christians:

Many Muslims carry a heritage of hate at the "Crusaders" and view the Crusading spirit as inherent to Christianity.


---Admit the sins of Western Culture and see the good in Islamic cultures:

Many Muslims view the West as decadent, and full of drunkards and whoremongers. Admit the sins of the West when appropriate and make sure Muslims know that to be American is not to be Christian and though Madonna wears a Cross, this does not make her a Christian.

Point to the words of Jesus about religion and religious observance (Matthew 5-7 is very powerful) to contrast Islam, true Christianity, and Western false religion. Praise the good aspects of "Islamic cultures" which prize modesty, family togetherness and honor, virginity before marriage in women, etc and show them that these things are biblical.




---Give her the Injil (The Gospel):

Allah will protect his word, right, and the Gospel is part of the recognized words of the Prophets about Allah..therefore, encourage her to read the words of the Prophet Jesus herself. He had a supernatural birth, a supernatural life, and he will come again at the end of the world. He is blameless and is called the spirit of God and Messiah, even in the Qur'an, such as in Surah 3. Read the Injil to find out more about Jesus.
 
Some advice:


--Pray for and WITH this girl:

Ask if she would allow you to pray for her whenever she has any problems and stresses in her life. Love and care for her may be more effective than apologetical technique if she is fundamentally closed to hearing you in the first place.


--Stress your personal relationship with God:

God is our Father, and we are His children. We pray out of love and prayer is a privilege, not merely a duty.



--Stress your assurance as a believer:

We can have a sense of assurance because, if we believe, we fear hell no more. Muslims cannot have any sort of assurance.



--Be quick to admit and apologize for any past wrongdoings to Muslims by Christians:

Many Muslims carry a heritage of hate at the "Crusaders" and view the Crusading spirit as inherent to Christianity.


---Admit the sins of Western Culture and see the good in Islamic cultures:

Many Muslims view the West as decadent, and full of drunkards and whoremongers. Admit the sins of the West when appropriate and make sure Muslims know that to be American is not to be Christian and though Madonna wears a Cross, this does not make her a Christian.

Point to the words of Jesus about religion and religious observance (Matthew 5-7 is very powerful) to contrast Islam, true Christianity, and Western false religion. Praise the good aspects of "Islamic cultures" which prize modesty, family togetherness and honor, virginity before marriage in women, etc and show them that these things are biblical.




---Give her the Injil (The Gospel):

Allah will protect his word, right, and the Gospel is part of the recognized words of the Prophets about Allah..therefore, encourage her to read the words of the Prophet Jesus herself. He had a supernatural birth, a supernatural life, and he will come again at the end of the world. He is blameless and is called the spirit of God and Messiah, even in the Qur'an, such as in Surah 3. Read the Injil to find out more about Jesus.

I agree with everything but the part about apologizing for the Crusades (which were a response to Muslim militancy. That part is ALWAYS left out.) and the part about apologizing for the sins of western culture and finding good in Islamic culture. Sorry, bub. I've seen "Islamic culture." Islam kills culture.
 
Some advice:


--Pray for and WITH this girl:

Ask if she would allow you to pray for her whenever she has any problems and stresses in her life. Love and care for her may be more effective than apologetical technique if she is fundamentally closed to hearing you in the first place.


--Stress your personal relationship with God:

God is our Father, and we are His children. We pray out of love and prayer is a privilege, not merely a duty.



--Stress your assurance as a believer:

We can have a sense of assurance because, if we believe, we fear hell no more. Muslims cannot have any sort of assurance.



--Be quick to admit and apologize for any past wrongdoings to Muslims by Christians:

Many Muslims carry a heritage of hate at the "Crusaders" and view the Crusading spirit as inherent to Christianity.


---Admit the sins of Western Culture and see the good in Islamic cultures:

Many Muslims view the West as decadent, and full of drunkards and whoremongers. Admit the sins of the West when appropriate and make sure Muslims know that to be American is not to be Christian and though Madonna wears a Cross, this does not make her a Christian.

Point to the words of Jesus about religion and religious observance (Matthew 5-7 is very powerful) to contrast Islam, true Christianity, and Western false religion. Praise the good aspects of "Islamic cultures" which prize modesty, family togetherness and honor, virginity before marriage in women, etc and show them that these things are biblical.




---Give her the Injil (The Gospel):

Allah will protect his word, right, and the Gospel is part of the recognized words of the Prophets about Allah..therefore, encourage her to read the words of the Prophet Jesus herself. He had a supernatural birth, a supernatural life, and he will come again at the end of the world. He is blameless and is called the spirit of God and Messiah, even in the Qur'an, such as in Surah 3. Read the Injil to find out more about Jesus.

I agree with everything but the part about apologizing for the Crusades (which were a response to Muslim militancy. That part is ALWAYS left out.) and the part about apologizing for the sins of western culture and finding good in Islamic culture. Sorry, bub. I've seen "Islamic culture." Islam kills culture.


Foreign sins always appear more heinous. To a conservative Muslim brushing elbows with the West, here are a few things that I would apologize for and not try to defend:


--Immodesty and sensuality of American culture and tv,

--Desertion of old people into nursing homes, whereas many cultures would see this as gross sin.

--Abortion.

--Lack of hospitality and individualism/isolation of the people

--MTV

--Drunkenness and drug abuse.



If a Muslim lists any of these Westen sins, I suppose that you could enter a peeing contest and point out all the deficiencies of Middle Eastern culture,

or,

you could contrast the West with Scripture and point out that these cultural sins cannot be seen as being the by-product of Christianity, but that Christians are even more distrssed by them than Muslims and we, too, grieve due to these great sins and certainly do not condone them.


About the Crusades: The Catholic Popes granted indulgences to those who fought, and it essentially became a Christian Jihad, which can never be condoned. We can never spread our faith by the sword.

P.s. we can start another thread on this if you like.
 
My guess is you could eventually win the argument but still lose your friend. To win her to Christ, she will have to see that your faith is not just a better or more sensible religion, but a whole different kind of life. It’s a life powered by the cross rather than rule keeping—and thus more powerful.

My unsolicited suggestion: Don’t assume she has any deep understanding of the gospel. And don’t assume you're done understanding it either. Spend your personal study soaking in what it means that Jesus died for your sin (Piper’s The Passion of Jesus Christ: Fifty Reasons Why Christ Suffered and Died is one excellent help for this). Then in your talks with your friend, share what you've learned. Discuss the implications for daily life.

The gospel is what makes faith in Christ different from the religion she knows. It will be eye-opening for her.
 
Thank you, everyone.

Pergamum,

I forget to pray all the time -that is really stupid and I end up saying things that are true but not loving.

Pray for and WITH this girl
isn't that religious syncretism? It creeps me out when my (rc) teacher tells all of us to pray to 'god' in class (muslims, hindus, agnostics, prots).

He is blameless and is called the spirit of God and Messiah, even in the Qur'an, such as in Surah 3.

Is that true? He calls Jesus the Messiah (Christ)? So 1 John 2:22 doesn't apply, :doh:

Here's the thing, I really don't know if the muslims at my school are conservative. They seem to believe (vastly)different things than from what I read about. Thats what makes everything so confusing. But they seem to have ready answers for things... I don't know. We probably look the same! :(

-as to the whole 'western sin' thing, I feel like we both agree on that - in the class I have with her I made a BIG stink about a movie and I also denounced most movies as way too sexual/violent/religion bashing. I've called my teacher out numerous times when she denigrated the Word of God as well.

Its interesting, I have a sort of cultural reaction to her as well. I was instantly put off when she suggested that our differences are "no big deal". And yet, you are saying that if I want to witness to her, I should not point out differences, but play up continuities and introduce differences gradually? Hmm. This will take some prayer and all God. While it brings me joy in the Lord, I am hurting from all the nonsense that surrounds me.


Please pray for me and this girl.
 
Thank you, everyone.

Pergamum,

I forget to pray all the time -that is really stupid and I end up saying things that are true but not loving.

Pray for and WITH this girl
isn't that religious syncretism? It creeps me out when my (rc) teacher tells all of us to pray to 'god' in class (muslims, hindus, agnostics, prots).

He is blameless and is called the spirit of God and Messiah, even in the Qur'an, such as in Surah 3.

Is that true? He calls Jesus the Messiah (Christ)? So 1 John 2:22 doesn't apply, :doh:

Here's the thing, I really don't know if the muslims at my school are conservative. They seem to believe (vastly)different things than from what I read about. Thats what makes everything so confusing. But they seem to have ready answers for things... I don't know. We probably look the same! :(

-as to the whole 'western sin' thing, I feel like we both agree on that - in the class I have with her I made a BIG stink about a movie and I also denounced most movies as way too sexual/violent/religion bashing. I've called my teacher out numerous times when she denigrated the Word of God as well.

Its interesting, I have a sort of cultural reaction to her as well. I was instantly put off when she suggested that our differences are "no big deal". And yet, you are saying that if I want to witness to her, I should not point out differences, but play up continuities and introduce differences gradually? Hmm. This will take some prayer and all God. While it brings me joy in the Lord, I am hurting from all the nonsense that surrounds me.


Please pray for me and this girl.




If you are in a class with her, she may feel as if she has an ally in you due to shared conservative morals, and this will be to your advantage. Use this to illustrate the vast difference between nominal Christianity and true Christianity.


Pray for and WITH this girl

What I meant was to pray in private and in public, in her presence.

If she is having problems, then pray on her behalf in her presence, asking her permission before hand. Muslims are touched when they hear you praying personally on their behalf in a personal prayer (in contrast to set words or recitations). I have had people cry due to being moved and have heard Muslims express a wanderment at being able to pray personally like this to God. "Can I do this too, pray to God like this..?" I was asked afterwards once.
 
David and Ben,
I share your sentiments. I'm relieved I'm not the only one who feels this way.


Jack,
My unsolicited suggestion: Don’t assume she has any deep understanding of the gospel. And don’t assume you're done understanding it either.

Thanks for this, it was my inclination to assume that.

Heidi,
I have learned (because perhaps I'm not very able at defending truth directly!) to pray for an opportunity to show love in some way and to be able to speak more directly (even if just by actions or I hope, my manner of life) to the reasons that people are rejecting God.

I'm not as loving as I should be (I tend to smack people in the face with truth), so this is good advice. It kind of shames me that I didn't even think much on acts of kindness.

Anna,
Continue to present the biblical view of whatever topic you're discussing--do not let her put you on the defensive, deliberately or not.

This is wise, I feel like this is about to happen/is happening. Its kind of like when a flurry of verses from the quran get put out, right? Then the half-baked arguments about the corruption of the new testament start... its a mess. Happened to me once.

You seem to differ from Pergamum. Why?
 
If you are in a class with her, she may feel as if she has an ally in you due to shared conservative morals, and this will be to your advantage.

Interesting comment. I have, at times, wondered if I should 'use' shared morals/beliefs to foster conversations.

For example, I once asked a muslim, who is a fellow student, if he believed in evolution. He said he didn't and I 'felt' a kinship to him at that moment.

How far should we go with this sort of thing?
 
I think there is Scriptural warrant to start from similarities. Jesus talked about water at the well, and Paul quoted pagan poets to the Greeks.

Needed conflict was not avoided, but a good starting point that launches from the known/shared to the new/unknown seems to be a Biblical way of evangelizing.

Even Stephen started with a shared history of Israel, before he let his audience have it (and then they let him have it).

One should not manufacture false similarities, but there are many similar moral concerns that Christians and Muslims share.
 
The variety of Muslims is the same as the variety of Christians. She sounds like a lot of Christians I know.

One thing to remember is that according to the Quran everyone was born a Muslim. We become apostate and therefore infidels. We lose our way because we believe in the lie.

It's been said and stands repeating that focusing on the personal relationship with Christ is major. Allah is not nor cannot be a personal God.

Background info on the congruency of the Quran is that Muslims were put to death if they had a copy of the Quran. So no copies except the authorized versions has kept it the True God hating book that it is.

The Quran advocates killing the infidel and lying to infidels. I am amazed when I encounter an African-American who has embraced being Muslim and then turns around and calls Christianity a "White Man's religion." Black Muslims in Muslim countries are treated worse than animals. They are segregated and not even allowed to work. Yet Christianity started in Africa. Only in America could a Muslim make the claim that Islam is a "Black man's" religion and a religion of peace with a straight face....but since they can lie to us infidels there's no telling what is the truth.....

-----Added 12/23/2009 at 07:30:18 EST-----

Islam | Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry
 
Out of curiosity, where is she from? There can be quite a bit of difference in perspective from country to country, and as Muslims emphasize reading the Qur'an in Arabic, it'd be interesting if she is from an Arabic-speaking country or not.

A few things:
-As others have said, relationships is key. Having had Muslim friends for years and lived in the Middle East, these things take time, long conversations, and lots of coffee and tea.
-IF you want to go down the route of discussing some of the claims she's made (about the corruption of the Bible, etc), I'd just ask some simple questions: Who corrupted it? When did they corrupt it? How did they corrupt it? Where did they corrupt it? And why did they corrupt it? Most Muslims have just head from the Qur'an and from the Imam in the mosque that the Bible was corrupted, but they have no idea how to support such an idea (not that many questions know how to defend the textual integrity of the New Testament either, but just noting something).
-Tell the stories of Jesus. Given that Muslims have great respect for Jesus (not as the Son of God, but as the Messiah and a prophet), they are usually willing to listen to stories about Jesus from the Injiil (Gospel). So think about stories that are appropriate to whatever topic you are discussing, and just ask if you can share a story about what Jesus (al-masiih = Messiah) did/said. They'll usually listen and over time, they may be strangely drawn to the Bible's portrayal of him.
-This is perhaps a more controversial tactic, but you can mention that in the Qur'an, of all the prophets, Jesus is the only one who is mentioned raising the dead, healing the lame, being born of a virgin etc. No other prophet, before or after, did this. So you can just simply ask, "Why?" Why is Jesus so special, even in the Qur'an? You don't need to make some argument that Jesus is really proved to be God even in the Qur'an, because that's not true. But just simply ask why he is so different and special. And then go back to telling stories of Jesus from the Bible.

If you're looking for reading, I think the best book I've read on it is "The Crescent Through the Eyes of the Cross" by Nabeel Jabbour (Amazon.com: The Crescent Through the Eyes of the Cross: Insights from an Arab Christian (9781600061950): Nabeel T Jabbour: Books).
 
--Be quick to admit and apologize for any past wrongdoings to Muslims by Christians:

Many Muslims carry a heritage of hate at the "Crusaders" and view the Crusading spirit as inherent to Christianity.
So, resisiting muhummadin sword-evangelism and invasion for the purpose of subjugation of the infidels and claiming land for their moon-god is something to be apologized for?

By that reasoning, Gideon should have apologized to the Midianites for chasing them out of Israel. Do you pay your dhimmi tax, Pergs?
 
--Be quick to admit and apologize for any past wrongdoings to Muslims by Christians:

Many Muslims carry a heritage of hate at the "Crusaders" and view the Crusading spirit as inherent to Christianity.
So, resisiting muhummadin sword-evangelism and invasion for the purpose of subjugation of the infidels and claiming land for their moon-god is something to be apologized for?

By that reasoning, Gideon should have apologized to the Midianites for chasing them out of Israel. Do you pay your dhimmi tax, Pergs?

Precisely.
 
Joy, I differ from Pergamum for a few reasons---my very limited interaction with and training for evangelizing Muslims has been here in America, where that is not the case for Pergamum. I was trained specifically about interacting with women, due to the cultural limits placed on Muslim women. He has far more experience than I overall.
 
Joy,
Write a note to MERF (Middle East Reformed Fellowship), contact info probably available through your pastor, and ask for some advice.

These are people who love Muslims, and want to see them converted to Christ. They are thoroughly Reformed; the head of the organization is an ArabChristian (and OPCpastor from your presbytery).

What we need to do is get the politics as far out of the way as we can. The Muslims are wedded to a politico-socio-religious system. And too often, so are American Christians. Except we aren't supposed to be, and the hybrid is just another barrier to effective ministry and witness. We are citizens of another world, another kingdom. And that is the way of escape for the Muslim trapped in his idolatry.

Pergy has really good advice. And you aren't praying "with" her to her idol, but you are praying "with her," in her presence to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I'll pray too for you and your acquaintance.
 
--Be quick to admit and apologize for any past wrongdoings to Muslims by Christians:

Many Muslims carry a heritage of hate at the "Crusaders" and view the Crusading spirit as inherent to Christianity.
So, resisiting muhummadin sword-evangelism and invasion for the purpose of subjugation of the infidels and claiming land for their moon-god is something to be apologized for?

By that reasoning, Gideon should have apologized to the Midianites for chasing them out of Israel. Do you pay your dhimmi tax, Pergs?

We have no judges led by God like Gideon was led. We also have no body politick such as civil Israel, like in the OT. Your analogy is merely rhetorical and holds little water.


Why don't we start another thread on this topic: Should Christians acknowledge that any religious wrongdoing occurred on their side during the Crusades?

Politically, every nation and empire has a right to defend itself. The West claimed the defense of pilgrims visiting Jerusalem. The Muslims claimed defense of their own land from the Crusading armies.

However, when church and state are intertwined, and the Pope grants indulgences and makes a war of defense into a religious war, then the carrrying out of that war becomes distorted and wrong. It was turned into a Christian Jihad.


We think of this as ancient history, but to Muslims this was yesterday.

Revisionists have claimed that the Crusades were unprovoked attacks against an innocent land. That is wrong. The conquest of non-Muslim states has always been a part of Muslim doctrine.

But also wrong is the reactive revisionism of Christians who baptize the wrong acts of the past. Crusading became a religious act and the finest sons of Europe often sold off their estates to raise armies, hoping for spiritual merit to be accrued and hoping also for political favor from the Catholic powers. In 1099, when the Crusaders sacked Jerusalem, it appears that a suspicious number of civilians were killed, more than the expected number from merely "collateral damage." Religious indulgences were granted and warfare thus became spiritually meritorous.



Now, whether the Crusades were wrong or right, this period of history defines the relationship between Christians and Muslims for Muslims and, if you are talking to Muslims, getting into a debate about the Crusades will harden them to anything religious that you have to say. This war led to the unification of the Muslim world against a common foe and gave the Muslim world a convenient tool for hating the West ever since, and it is just not wise to bring up this topic if you are trying to evangelize. To white-wash any evil part that we played, and only try to convince the Muslims of the evil that they themselves committed will get you nowhere in the religious realm.



Also, if a Muslim were to bring up the exported evils of MTV, porngrphy, drunkenness, drugs, it is also wise, too, to show disapproval over these sins and then turn to the Bible definition of sin, rather than listing the sins, in turn, of the Muslim nations. I suppose you could list female genital mutilation, subjection of women, etc, but if a Muslim is engaged on the issue of spiritual matters and trusts you enough to confide in you those things which grive her heart, and you are able to contrast the sins which offend her compared to what the Bible says, why settle for swapping lists of cultural evils and miss a chance to point your friend to Christ?
 
Re the Crusades issue:

I used to be in Campus Crusade for Christ, then I studied the bible and history some more and felt a little silly about it. Can you imagine how much of an idiot I looked like for having CCC emblazoned on my shirt? :drool:

But yeah, our school makes a big to-do about Islam in the medieval ages. So of course the Crusades were mentioned and the humanities professor solemnly denounced them. I think I said that if these people had the bible/literacy they would have acted differently. I'll just refer back to that class if it comes up.

(No big to-do about the Reformation though; in fact, no mention at all. lol.)
 
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