I wrote another poem.

[Dagmire]

There isn't much structure to this one, but I like it that way. It's untitled.



what a fretful beast
with maidenly paws
and devilish eyes
which dissect the wrong figure
i am painfully aware of the wrongness within me
it leaks from the seams
and takes hold too often
and what will it take
to awaken within me
some manner of manliness?
The Lord, no doubt, He is what He is!
then make me what You will!
for i know it's not this
so mend me, i say!
and mend me quickly!
before i make my departure off-schedule
and dare i threaten God on High?
the Holy One of Israel, He who made i?
i do. and moreso, now i say
it is You who captured me
and not for play
so play with me not, i beg, make haste!
and rid of me this vile and wretched distaste
that I have for all that is holy and good
if i could, then i would have withstood your move
if a more cunning one i could conjure
but i am no sorceror and You are no liar
and You're certain no lover of evil desire
so, then, make haste! and hastier still!
for i have but days to do your will
and i cannot bear the sin of my eyes
and i would not question, if you had misgivings
for the choice that you made to give me a beginning
an end, i see fitter, for a thing like myself
but my sight is proved faulty again and again
and it's to my chagrin
an assault on my sense
kill me! And if not, then turn me away!
from every bit of evil that within me lay
for i cannot stand to know You and sin
which is why, You can see, that i foolishly retreat
into darkness to try to find comfort in lies
but where can i go that you would not find me?
even hell itself is no refuge from You!
for was it not You who reached down into hell
to retrieve your Beloved when from You He fell?
and still, i ask, do make haste
though, i know it's at Your pace that i run this race
and if it was not
and i am glad it is
i would surely give up
and be dead in my sins

 

[LadyCalvinist]

Good poem, Ryan.

 

[staythecourse]

Hang in there Ryan

Know you're going through a rough time. Keep focused on Christ and His ability to save in trouble.

B

 

[a mere housewife]

Davis, a lot of the lines in your poem which was very good to read (had you posted one here before? I haven't been on for some time), reminded me of this poem by Donne which is one of my favorites.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town to'another due,
Labor to'admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly'I love you, and would be lov'd fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy;
Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
-John Donne

And just for good measure, another poem my mind often runs over and over by Lewis:

My heart is empty. All the fountains that should run
With longing, are in me
Dried up. In all my countryside there is not one
That drips to find the sea.
I have no care for anything thy love can grant
Except the moment’s vain
And hardly noticed filling of the moment’s want
And to be free from pain.
Oh, thou that art unwearying, that dost neither sleep
Nor slumber, who didst take
All care for Lazarus in the careless tomb, oh keep
Watch for me till I wake.
If thou think for me what I cannot think, if thou
Desire for me what I
Cannot desire, my soul’s interior Form, though now
Deep-buried, will not die,
-No more than the insensible dropp’d seed which grows
Through winter ripe for birth
Because, while it forgets, the heaven, remembering throws
Sweet influence still on earth,
-Because the heaven, moved moth-like by thy beauty, goes
Still turning round the earth.


-from the Pilgrim’s Regress

 

[Dagmire]

Thank you all for the kind words and the encouragement.


Heidi, I had posted another poem on here before, but I removed it. I took it down because I was discouraged by a friend of mine. I think I'll post it again, though.

 

[caddy]

That's Good Stuff Ryan !

 

[Dagmire]

Thanks very much, Steven. I really appreciate it.