In Praise of Marriage

[SolaScriptura]

Marriage gets a bad rap these days. Even among Christians the scourge of singleness is spreading like a cancer - yes, I believe there is a legitimate place for singleness, but in all my wanderings I've never encountered a man or woman who stays single so they can wholeheartedly serve the Lord. People are jaded about marriage, skeptical at best. We need positive examples and open expressions of our admiration for the institution if we are to change attitudes.

Maybe you're married and you have long since stop being excited about marriage. Or maybe you're not married and wondering what's so great about it. I offer this to you for your encouragement.


In Praise of Marriage

 

[earl40]

Ben do you think it is OK to stay single to "wholeheartedly serve the Lord" out side of serving in the church? I am running across men and ladies who simply have not met "the mate" and are in a sense serving The Lord as a single person albeit wishing a person would come into their life.

 

[Eved]

I'm not sure if you wrote the article because there is no author assigned, but I enjoyed it. I have been married for almost 4 years now and I was "young" also. My wife was 18 and I was 19. We thoroughly enjoy it and I can agree with all points shared in the article. It is also always great to see an article laced with Scripture. If you are the author then thank you for the refreshing viewpoint on marriage.

 

[SolaScriptura]

I'm not sure if you wrote the article because there is no author assigned, but I enjoyed it. I have been married for almost 4 years now and I was "young" also. My wife was 18 and I was 19. We thoroughly enjoy it and I can agree with all points shared in the article. It is also always great to see an article laced with Scripture. If you are the author then thank you for the refreshing viewpoint on marriage.

You're welcome, brother! Glad to be a source of refreshment - that's what I was striving to be!

 

[Cullen Ferguson]

Thank you brother for the article. We too got married young (23 and 22) by society's standards, and I appreciate the article and the blog!

 

[clark thompson]

Marriage gets a bad rap these days. Even among Christians the scourge of singleness is spreading like a cancer - yes, I believe there is a legitimate place for singleness, but in all my wanderings I've never encountered a man or woman who stays single so they can wholeheartedly serve the Lord. People are jaded about marriage, skeptical at best. We need positive examples and open expressions of our admiration for the institution if we are to change attitudes.

Maybe you're married and you have long since stop being excited about marriage. Or maybe you're not married and wondering what's so great about it. I offer this to you for your encouragement.


In Praise of Marriage

I stay single to have free time to serve the Lord, if I got married this free time would go away, I do not think marriage is for me, so we are out here. I strongly believe in marriage.

 

[a mere housewife]

Clark, I also know many single people who are serving the Lord, and simply loving the Lord as their portion in this life in ways they would not be able to do were they married. I know very few single people who do not long to be married and struggle with a sense of uselessness in their single life, even though that is what God has chosen for them. Far from feeling that we have an overly robust appreciation of singleness at least in reformed circles, it seems to me that most of our focus is on serving the Lord in the natural family, and we need to be very grateful for the reminder of eternity and the sufficiency of the Lord's love that single people in our churches are witnessing to. Service/devotion to the Lord can take many different forms, and not all of them are equatable with being more 'busy' or with what is seen by others.

PS. I love being married, and enjoy your blog posts, Ben.

 

[SolaScriptura]

at least in reformed circles

Heidi -

Thank you for enjoying my blog posts. I hope I continue to edify and encourage, or at the very least amuse you.

In my ministry I encounter very few reformed folks. By "few" I mean as a percentage of the whole. My blog is just a small-time operation and I get about 200 non-PB related visits per day. About 60% of the people who follow my blog are not reformed. I read mostly non-Reformed books and magazines. My peers are ministers of various denominations and traditions and we give each other glimpses and insights into our "neck of the woods." So from my vantage point I perceive that Christians, in general, are largely influenced by our culture (no surprise there), and many American Christians' values and practices are largely more directly "American" than "Biblical" (again, no real surprise there), and the behavior of American Christians, again in general, tends to mirror the behavior of our larger culture. With those givens, when I see a dramatic rise in Christian singleness that "strangely" corresponds to the rise in singleness in our larger culture, I'm forced to conclude one of two things: Either God has exponentially increased his bestowal of the gift of singleness at precisely the same time that our culture became really jaded towards marriage, or Christians have become influenced by several of the same values, priorities, interests, and concerns as the larger culture, regardless of what language they use to baptize those things. Can you guess which one I believe is more likely? Hmm?

But (yawn) I know that everyone thinks they're exceptional and we we live in a culture in which we absolutely loathe being told that we are (gasp!) wrong, so I'm kind of surprised that more singles haven't spoken up to "defend" the righteousness of their lifestyle based upon their personal motives.

As I noted in the OP, and in my blog post, I believe there is a legitimate place for singleness. But my post's purpose was to sing the praises of marriage - which has become the minority practice, by the way - in the face of a culture of singleness. Given that I am convinced singleness is properly a gift of exceptionality in the midst of a context in which marriage is to be the general norm, I believe the burden of proof lies with the single person to justify their departure from the revealed norm. Yes, I know that through the lens of our cultural epistemology that last sentence is anathema for a number of reasons. (I.e., "HOW DARE YOU SAY I HAVE TO JUSTIFY MY LIFESTYLE!") So be it, here I stand.

But I do want to close noting that from my discussions and wanderings, it seems in this case there are a number of Christian women who are unwitting participants in their ongoing single-hood: they simply can't get men to commit to marriage. I do understand that and I am sympathetic to it.

 

[a mere housewife]

Ben, of course I meant nothing in the least insincere or belittling about your edifying blog; and I am grateful that the readership is wider than reformed circles. Naturally I read posts on this board in context of people I know here. And I see the Lord's grace in various ways in the people I know here -- married and single.

Also, I'm sure you can appreciate that addressing the attitudes of the wider culture as if they were mainstream in the reformed church is not limited to people who actually *are* addressing the wider culture! And within the reformed church, the balance of the attitudes and issues that we struggle with is often reversed -- which probably says something very healthy in and of itself.

 

[SolaScriptura]

And within the reformed church, the balance of the attitudes and issues that we struggle with is often reversed -- which probably says something very healthy in and of itself.

Another reason I love being Reformed!