Interracial/International Couples?

[kalawine]

Thanks! You know, I have no scripture to back this but I always feel better when I know that a woman is praying for me in this area. I covet your prayers also my dear sweet Reformed friend! I need a Christian but I really desire that she be Reformed too. (If I might be specific )

Uh, maybe that didn't come out right! LOL I DO know that you're married! LOL When I reread my own post I thought, "Woa, Kev! She might think you're getting sweet on her!" I just meant I believe that women have these matters more at heart that men (generally speaking of course).

hahaha hehehe!
I'll be praying for you, too, Kevin.

Thanks so much! I believe that women remember to pray and they also know the desire to have that one person that God wants them to be with! (More so than most men)

 

[BJClark]

whitway;

Since it looks like there are a good number of folks who are members of this forum and some who are international as well I am just curious if there are any other Interracial/International Married Couples in PB Land?

I'm not, but two of my brothers have married internationally, my older brother married a Cuban/Spanish lady (they are now divorced) and my other brother married a young lady from Germany.

What's interesting, as I watch my son watch girls, he tends to notice those of Asian descent most. One of his friends is from the P.I., he loves to go over and eat dinner at their home. His mother makes something with seaweed that he comes home and raves about.

 

[AVT]

One of my friends is married to a Filipino and sometimes I frequent the Chinese restaurants in town. No insult meant to blacks, whites, etc., but the "Asians, Orientals" (for lack of a better word... I'll call them whatever you and your lovely wife would prefer ) are so well mannered. They're great! I think that they are beautiful women but much of what attracts me to them is that most of them (that I have met) haven't been spoiled by Americana. And every Filipino I have met (though most are [cringe] Roman Catholic) has been VERY family "oriented" (No pun intended ).

Hehehe! You are killing me now! No that's fine as my wife and I are not PC oriented (no pun intended either). The Philippines is known as "The Pearl of the Orient". She would probably prefer "Asian" but only a preference. And once again you are "spot on" with regard to the Filipino Culture. To be frank being married to my wife is one of the greatest undeserved blessings God has given me and the second would be to be married to her family (because that is how it works). Her family is Awesome. I have the utmost respect for my sister and brother in law in Austin, Tx. Godly Christian folks who are sweet as can be and have welcomed this white dude with open arms. And my mother-in-law (they dont' use these terms she is my Ma) is coming in a few months and treats me like a son which is very special since my mother has entered her heavenly rest. I couldn't have asked to be part of a better Christian family.

Will be praying for God to direct you to such a wife and family.

My brother and sister ... your prayers will be coveted. My wife left me about ten years ago. At the time I found myself rearing two young boys (5 and 3 - now 15 and 13) all by myself. I have a mother and a sister who have helped some but I determined from the beginning not to use them to rear my boys. Praise God, we have gotten far along and they now are able to do lots of things they couldn't when they were small.
For years I prayed for a woman. Then, I began to believe that the Lord wanted me to pray that I would be happy on my own. Now, as I see my boys getting older and I know they will be shoving off to college in the next few years, I have begun to pray again that the Lord will put "that" woman in my life. I'm not desperate and I've been quite comfortable for several years now on my own. I've also been too busy to worry about it much. But I also see the time "a changin.'" So, yes, I covet your prayers and appreciate every one. Because we know:

(From Genesis chapter two)

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Kalawine,

You have been faithful in rearing your boys and the Lord has kept you by His grace from marrying a non-christian ,pagan woman after your divorce. I pray the Lord will reward you greatly for your faithfulness.


I am sure you must have gone through a lot of hurts, pain and rejection when you went through your divorce. However, it is also good to be alone and be free from the demands of a wife . A woman can be demanding. Just ask my husband. It is also a blessing to be alone. Enjoy it!

I am a Filipino-American (American citizen by choice) and I can tell you ,I like the family orientedness of the Filipinos but Filipinos can give you a lot of headaches too. I know how to navigate the culture and master relationships with Grandma, grandpa's, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, first cousins, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins, all the in-laws and out-laws. Whooo, they can all come together and eat lechon (One whole roasted pig).It is fun but not all the time. Quarrel can occur after 3 days of being together. However there is really an element in the culture that favors family life . An old Filipino proverb says "Kahit mahirap lang tayo basta kasama tayong lahat" pierces the soul. Translated "Even though we are very poor as long as we are together that's what matters."

I am glad I also married an American (Caucasian). I don't have a lot of headaches because anyone outside the nuclear family has no right to dictate how you live and run your own marriage. My husband says "non-of your business". It gives me a quiet life and no intrigues at all. I get the biblical side from both cultures and I just mix them like Coffee and Cream but I tell you, that all the more we need God's grace and lots of understanding in an intercultural marriage. We have to handle so many different perspectives and norms in our married life.
What holds our marriage is our being Christians.

You can marry anyone and from any race. It is not a guarantee that marriage will work because of the effects of the Fall. God gave us a single command to marry in the Lord only.

I immigrated to the U.S 23 years ago, I was single for 38 years and was asked to date by many men so many times but I kept and memorized God's command to marry a Christian and not only that, I prayed for a mature Christian husband.

I am now married to Scott, a Reformed Presbyterian and a lawyer. I became Reformed due to lengthy discussions about Arminianism and Reformed Theology while traveling thousnads of miles in the car with him. It takes a long process to understand Reformed Theology because it takes very deep study of the Word.

It is rare or the minority of the minorities (Reformed Theology) in the U.S. and so in the Philippines. The Philippines is impacted by Evangelicals but Arminian in its base but there are many wonderful Christians in the country. All forms of Protestantism in the Philippines were brought by the coming of Americans after the 2nd World War.

Filipinos are the most westernized of all Asians, so we know how to yell both in English and Tagalog, watch out!. Spanish can also be included because the Philippines was under Spain for 333 years.
Americans defeated trhe Spanish Armada and the Japanese there. That's why Filipinos spent "300 years in the Convent and 50 years of Hollywood". Americans find it easier to adjust to the country and it's people because English is spoken. Filipinos are generally Trilingual.

Marriage whatever your culture is requires a lot of God's grace and it can be difficult because a rotten person is always before another rotten person. Selfishness is always before us---it requires a lot of forgiveness and thinking about the other person.

What makes our marriage work is learning how to say "Honey I'm wrong " when the argument is fierce between us.

I pray the Lord will give you peace and give you a Christian spouse, beutiful in His sight.

Gen 34;14 "

And they said unto them, We cannot do this thing to give our sister to one that is uncircumcised."

Deut 7;3-4 Neither shall thou make marriages with them; my daughter thou shalt not give unto his son nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods.; so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly."

 

[jakomus]

I aws born in NYC from Colombian parentes,from Spanish ,Portuguese Jewish and native Indian ancestry my wife has Spanish and Arabic,we had similar backgrounds even though she was raised in Venezuela but I think it is beautiful the mingling of different groups in the world that shows that love can cross those barriers.

 

[ww]

Quarrel can occur after 3 days of being together. However there is really an element in the culture that favors family life

But that is the one thing I respect about my Filipino family, no PC, tell it like it is and let the chips fall where they may. My family postures, tip toes around subjects so as to not to offend and harbors hurt for years. My wife's family if they've got an issue with one another you are going to hear about it quick and straight up. That may be just my wife's family but I think it is indicative of the Filipino culture.

In any event your post was very encouraging and informative as to what the focus should be in finding that one God has chosen regardless of background, ethnicity, etc.

Blessings!

 

[kalawine]

Kalawine,

You have been faithful in rearing your boys and the Lord has kept you by His grace from marrying a non-christian ,pagan woman after your divorce. I pray the Lord will reward you greatly for your faithfulness.


I am sure you must have gone through a lot of hurts, pain and rejection when you went through your divorce. However, it is also good to be alone and be free from the demands of a wife . A woman can be demanding. Just ask my husband. It is also a blessing to be alone. Enjoy it!

I do have two sides to me. I actually do desire the company of a woman but I'm not lonely in the least. And as you advised, I am enjoying the blessing of being alone. As a matter of fact, for those who have said that they will pray for me, you may want to be very specific. That is, I have been single for so many years that not just anyone will work with me. Women (at least some of them) can be demanding (your words ) and at this point in my life I don't "do" demanding very well. I believe it would be a real challenge for me to be involved with someone. One thing is for certain... they had better be ready to follow and not lead.

 

[AVT]

Kalawine,

You have been faithful in rearing your boys and the Lord has kept you by His grace from marrying a non-christian ,pagan woman after your divorce. I pray the Lord will reward you greatly for your faithfulness.


I am sure you must have gone through a lot of hurts, pain and rejection when you went through your divorce. However, it is also good to be alone and be free from the demands of a wife . A woman can be demanding. Just ask my husband. It is also a blessing to be alone. Enjoy it!

I do have two sides to me. I actually do desire the company of a woman but I'm not lonely in the least. And as you advised, I am enjoying the blessing of being alone. As a matter of fact, for those who have said that they will pray for me, you may want to be very specific. That is, I have been single for so many years that not just anyone will work with me. Women (at least some of them) can be demanding (your words ) and at this point in my life I don't "do" demanding very well. I believe it would be a real challenge for me to be involved with someone. One thing is for certain... they had better be ready to follow and not lead.

Kalawine ,

You are right,it is not good for a man to be dominated by a woman. It is unnatural.

I still have input and my husband allows me to have a lot of input in our married life, I believe it is supposed to be like this but I try to let my husband have the last word after weighing things. It is not good for a man to be "under the skirt", a Filipino proverb which means , "the man is being bossed around by his wife". It is not the natural order of things. My husband makes mistakes but I don't embarrass him in public, we can debate at home ---but when he is discussing issues with others and presenting his opinions, even if I don't agree, I just keep quiet.(We just discuss later).

Life is easier with a husband because I was single too long (married at 38) but my husband braves a lot of difficult things that I can't do being a woman.

Marriage helps us to be crucified with Christ as we continue to die in our selfishness everyday.

May you'll meet a Proverbs 31 wife,

AVT

God Bless,