JeffR
Puritan Board Freshman
I understand a little about how one can shift one's focus from God to one's own problems and be down a not so good path, but i feel that it could be good to express some of my problems to see if there can be guidance, encouragement, or whatever that is good.
I also know that i post too many threads, and will after this attempt to space them out much more, yea, i may not post another thread ever again, if i word this good enough.
There's a tendency i feel here that we dwell more on the forensic side of theology, like Justification by faith alone, and other central doctrines. Succinct queries about specific issues directly to do with biblical doctrine. Our lives also are to be an ongoing matter of growth, we may have other means for counselling, but for me, all i have basically is God, select family members and resources.
What i would like to share here is a deeply sensitive thing going on for my dad, and i know that if there is to be good guidance, there must be an adequate picture painted of the situation, so i'll try here, and keep in mind brothers and sisters, that after this i'll stop hogging the spotlight, and get back to my resources, and prayer.
All persons involved in this situation are professing Christians, but not Reformed.
My dad has 3 brothers, 1 is good to him, 2 are consistently critical of him, blaming him for ignoring their families, or "preaching" to them, when he merely shares what's made an impact on him.
Here is my last message i sent my dad, which will be edited to ensure anonymity, and that will fill out the picture best i think. Further contextualization info in brief would be that my dad does tend to talk too much, and gets his facts mixed up, but if these brothers were loving brothers they wouldn't always be so severely critical of him, making him feel so run down would they? I am cluing in dad's 1 nice brother in all this and am hoping that God, me, him and dad working together can see a breakthrough, and if not, if it doesn't work, God's timing this isn't if at all. But if any here feel like they can give some counsel on this, i would appreciate it very much, and after this, i'll be quiet for the most part or contribute to the best of my ability on other threads. Thanking you all in advance. --JR
Dear dad,
I'd like to let you know that with God, all the world can be against you and still you'd be on the winning side.
It's not however about winning arguments. I've heard how it is in your words, and if all it was was an argument between *** and ***, you'd have the most convincing argument.
But as Christians, things are different.
Visualize and meditate 2 things:
1) How would it be like if you and your 2 other brothers were reconciled?
2) How would it be like if there was no reconciliation?
Our Christian walk isn't meant to be a rosy good time, suffering is a given this side of the grave, suffering produces character and makes us realize how much we need God. When times are good, rarely do we grow during those good times. Rejoice without ceasing urged Paul to persecuted believers. His conjunction applies here. This is clear and understandable right?
It's hard still, agreed, consider what a human being is, and consider who God is. Consider then God's will in our lives. To be like Christ.
In the Reformed tradition there is a thing called Progressive Sanctification, it's basically what Romans 7 was spelling out, as long as we are alive on earth, before Jesus comes again, the growing authentic Christian will be battling the flesh, sin and the devil.
It's easy to be all caught up in minor details, the small print, splitting hairs, things like "he/she said that" "so and so did this".
It hurts yes, but as we are living in fellowship with God, we ought to count it all joy as well.
Spend more and more time in prayer and the Word, that's the best directive i can give, submitting to Him, allowing The Holy Spirit to continually open the eyes, and understanding, and applying what is being learned.
You are blessed immeasurably dad, when some of those closest to you reject you it hurts, indeed it does, and i quake with anger also when your words paint a fuller picture of the circumstance.
Mom would sometimes say there is a general lack of communication in the *** family, not a criticism so much as simply an observance. There are deeply buried resentment issues at play here, not just how it was at the funeral. Keep thinking more deeply about the issue when you do, and try finding new insights to it, imagine what it could possibly be for *** and ***. Setting aside momentarily where you yourself are coming from, and where they could possibly be coming from, and NOT to dwell too much on these matters, but keep coming back to them as you grow. As we grow, we get a better understanding of what to do. Let God be teaching you always, don't consider you have a specific matter all figured out. Consider the Bible, how many times a person can read it, but it still shows new things all the time.
In this sense be full of wonder, and awe of the spiritual and eternal realm, the realm of holiness, of Christlikeness.
I love you dad, God loves you, and God has given you a few good people who will encourage and help you. There is NOTHING that happens, that doesn't accord with God's grand design. Why are there troubles, toils and snares for the Christian? Because we are called out ones, we are to be like Jesus, it is a life long adventure for those who faithfully follow Him, who are quick to repent of their wrong doings, forgiving of those who are enemies, LOVING even thy enemies!!!
Be encouraged, know that you are not doing any of this on your own strength. God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and the family of God are there for you.
I also know that i post too many threads, and will after this attempt to space them out much more, yea, i may not post another thread ever again, if i word this good enough.
There's a tendency i feel here that we dwell more on the forensic side of theology, like Justification by faith alone, and other central doctrines. Succinct queries about specific issues directly to do with biblical doctrine. Our lives also are to be an ongoing matter of growth, we may have other means for counselling, but for me, all i have basically is God, select family members and resources.
What i would like to share here is a deeply sensitive thing going on for my dad, and i know that if there is to be good guidance, there must be an adequate picture painted of the situation, so i'll try here, and keep in mind brothers and sisters, that after this i'll stop hogging the spotlight, and get back to my resources, and prayer.
All persons involved in this situation are professing Christians, but not Reformed.
My dad has 3 brothers, 1 is good to him, 2 are consistently critical of him, blaming him for ignoring their families, or "preaching" to them, when he merely shares what's made an impact on him.
Here is my last message i sent my dad, which will be edited to ensure anonymity, and that will fill out the picture best i think. Further contextualization info in brief would be that my dad does tend to talk too much, and gets his facts mixed up, but if these brothers were loving brothers they wouldn't always be so severely critical of him, making him feel so run down would they? I am cluing in dad's 1 nice brother in all this and am hoping that God, me, him and dad working together can see a breakthrough, and if not, if it doesn't work, God's timing this isn't if at all. But if any here feel like they can give some counsel on this, i would appreciate it very much, and after this, i'll be quiet for the most part or contribute to the best of my ability on other threads. Thanking you all in advance. --JR
Dear dad,
I'd like to let you know that with God, all the world can be against you and still you'd be on the winning side.
It's not however about winning arguments. I've heard how it is in your words, and if all it was was an argument between *** and ***, you'd have the most convincing argument.
But as Christians, things are different.
Visualize and meditate 2 things:
1) How would it be like if you and your 2 other brothers were reconciled?
2) How would it be like if there was no reconciliation?
Our Christian walk isn't meant to be a rosy good time, suffering is a given this side of the grave, suffering produces character and makes us realize how much we need God. When times are good, rarely do we grow during those good times. Rejoice without ceasing urged Paul to persecuted believers. His conjunction applies here. This is clear and understandable right?
It's hard still, agreed, consider what a human being is, and consider who God is. Consider then God's will in our lives. To be like Christ.
In the Reformed tradition there is a thing called Progressive Sanctification, it's basically what Romans 7 was spelling out, as long as we are alive on earth, before Jesus comes again, the growing authentic Christian will be battling the flesh, sin and the devil.
It's easy to be all caught up in minor details, the small print, splitting hairs, things like "he/she said that" "so and so did this".
It hurts yes, but as we are living in fellowship with God, we ought to count it all joy as well.
Spend more and more time in prayer and the Word, that's the best directive i can give, submitting to Him, allowing The Holy Spirit to continually open the eyes, and understanding, and applying what is being learned.
You are blessed immeasurably dad, when some of those closest to you reject you it hurts, indeed it does, and i quake with anger also when your words paint a fuller picture of the circumstance.
Mom would sometimes say there is a general lack of communication in the *** family, not a criticism so much as simply an observance. There are deeply buried resentment issues at play here, not just how it was at the funeral. Keep thinking more deeply about the issue when you do, and try finding new insights to it, imagine what it could possibly be for *** and ***. Setting aside momentarily where you yourself are coming from, and where they could possibly be coming from, and NOT to dwell too much on these matters, but keep coming back to them as you grow. As we grow, we get a better understanding of what to do. Let God be teaching you always, don't consider you have a specific matter all figured out. Consider the Bible, how many times a person can read it, but it still shows new things all the time.
In this sense be full of wonder, and awe of the spiritual and eternal realm, the realm of holiness, of Christlikeness.
I love you dad, God loves you, and God has given you a few good people who will encourage and help you. There is NOTHING that happens, that doesn't accord with God's grand design. Why are there troubles, toils and snares for the Christian? Because we are called out ones, we are to be like Jesus, it is a life long adventure for those who faithfully follow Him, who are quick to repent of their wrong doings, forgiving of those who are enemies, LOVING even thy enemies!!!
Be encouraged, know that you are not doing any of this on your own strength. God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and the family of God are there for you.
