Is "pastoral counseling" a biblical duty of pastors?

[Ben Zartman]

From what scriptures do we derive the notion that part of a pastor's job is to engage in professional counseling, whether it be emotional, marital, pre-marital, or life-coaching? It seems to me that "counseling sessions" consume much the time of the pastors in my experience, such that they use it as a reason to neglect other duties, and then complain about how little time they have.
When the apostles got overwhelmed with secondary matters in Acts, they appointed deacons to take care of the other stuff so they could devote themselves to prayer and the Word.
Surely a pastor should be able to be sought for spiritual advice, but does that mean they should spend days and weeks doing scheduled "counseling sessions?" What if all that counseling takes them away from preaching, praying, and doing the work of an evangelist? Is the charge to "reprove, rebuke, exhort, warn" accomplished in a counseling session, or is that a charge for the pulpit ministry?
Should the pastors tell people: "Sorry, I'm not competent to diagnose or treat mental illness; please see a professional"? "Sorry, I'm not a financial advisor, please see Edward Jones?"
Do they over-reach their God-given duties when they dabble in things not required?
Related question: where does the Bible authorize or require weddings to be a religious event? Or, why do ministers perform weddings? Same with funerals. Were/are funerals a function of the church, either in OT or NT times?

 

[Vernon]

You ask the right questions.

 

[TheInquirer]

I agree with you - I don't think it is a biblical requirement. And, like you mentioned, most pastors I have known are not equipped to deal with the counseling issues brought before them other than giving some guidance in Scripture. Long-term counseling is a heavy burden.

 

[iainduguid]

It depends what you mean by pastoral counseling. On the one hand, what else are you going to do with the church member who shows up at your door at 10pm because his wife has kicked him out? Tell him it's not your job to listen to him and try to help him engage with God in the midst of his crisis? On the other hand, the woman who hears voices from the TV telling her to harm herself is going to need more help than I can give her, including medication. But I'm going to walk alongside her and her family through that situation, encouraging her to keep taking the meds even though the side effects are yucky as a means of loving her family. Those are both true stories from my own experience by the way.

I'm not particularly gifted as a counselor; as an introvert, I'd be very happy to stay locked in a room with my books. But when I was a pastor, my people needed more than that. The former seminary student who couldn't find a call and had to transition to a secular job to feed his family needed encouragement and wisdom. Life coaching? Perhaps. Loving him in the moment? Absolutely.

Could that take up too much of a pastor's time so that he neglects other important things like sermon prep? Of course. But people who know that their pastor cares about their hurts and difficulties just might listen more closely to his sermons as well.

Are you not trained well to counsel? Quite possibly; not all seminaries have good counseling programs. But you don't have to stay that way. CCEF courses can be taken online, and the Westminster MA in Counseling is entirely online, so there's no excuse for anyone who wants more help to grow in this area.

The bottom line is this: every good pastor is likely to do some counseling, whatever he calls it. It's simply compassion in verbal form. A pastor is extremely blessed if he has a good professional Christian counselor to whom he can refer some of the harder cases and ones that need more time than he can give. And some pastors may spend too much time in a one to one capacity and neglect their sermon prep - but the same may be true of evangelism, or administration, or 1001 other legitimate tasks of the pastor.

 

[Morgan]

I think some of it falls under caring for the sheep, but I can see how it can consume too much time if not handled properly. I'll be following this to see what others say on the topic.

 

[TheInquirer]

Those are excellent points Dr. Duguid and help provide balance and perspective. I took Ben's comments to refer to long term, regularly scheduled counseling with an individual or couple. Surely, we can't justify sending away the needy in the moment. Perhaps I am reacting to an entitlement mentality on the part of some congregants who want to use the pastor for free, long-term counseling that ends up being quite a drain on him personally and his ministry. With many pastors in small churches with little elder help, its hard to meet the expectations of counseling ministry on top of everything else.

 

[KMK]

“So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.” (Joh 21:15)

“Not for that we have dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy: for by faith ye stand.” (2Co 1:24)

“For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established.” (Rom 1:11)

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” (2Co 1:3-4)

“Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.” (Rom 14:19)

Pastors are to (at least) feed, help, gift, comfort, and edify each of our sheep. Can all this be done from the pulpit? Maybe.

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

I have always found the idea of pastors being expected to give people "marriage counselling" a rather bizarre one.

 

[KMK]

Daniel, marriage is the primary earthly covenant, the only one for life, and the type of Christ's relationship to the church. I can't think of a more important counseling opportunity. What am I missing?

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

Daniel, marriage is the primary earthly covenant, the only one for life, and the type of Christ's relationship to the church. I can't think of a more important counseling opportunity. What am I missing?

Which could be dealt with in a wedding sermon.

 

[Morgan]

Which could be dealt with in a wedding sermon.

It's a bit late at that point isnt it? There are people that have parents with no biblical wisdom and therefore no guidance. Just because two people want to be married doesn't mean it's biblically wise. Would you forego any counseling, mention being unequally yoked at the wedding you are performing on a believer to unbeliever? I think some form of marriage counseling is necessary.

 

[Ben Zartman]

Thanks for the replies so far. I agree with Dr Duguid that the pastor should set an example of brotherly love, and be the first to help the needy in the congregation. My concern is with the idea that as well as his ministerial duties, there's an expectation of full-time "counseling" work; grueling, week-by-week sessions, meetings between services, late-night phone calls.
@KMK many of the verses you quoted are directed at the congregation as a whole: we are all to be comforting one another, edifying, etc. I'm trying to sort out in my head whether a congregation that's well-informed from the pulpit on these graces may be able to help one another and thus take the burden off the pastors.
Same with marriage counseling: if the church has a good grasp of the theology of marriage because it's expounded upon in the regular ministry, there should be no need for further counseling.
Again, @iainduguid touching on your comment about the pastors caring for the hurt of their flock: what I have seen is that due to the overload of issues they try to care for, the pastors become professionally cold: "Oh, you're struggling with emotional issues? My next opening for a phone call is for four weeks from now between 5 and 6 PM." This has been the experience of not a few ladies in the congregation, and many get handed some book ( "Even Christians get Depressed," or something similar), and are left to stew in their affliction. Some, later, get reminded of how many hours their case exhausted, as if that would make them feel cared for.
But what if marriage, death, and professional emotional counseling were taken off the pastor's plates, if we can't find those things in their ministerial job description in Scripture? Perhaps they'd have time for the needy late-night phone call, or to be instant in season, rather than four weeks later?
These may not be problems in other congregations, but I've seen them too often in my experience to think they're completely isolated.

 

[iainduguid]

Ben, I'm definitely sympathetic to your concerns. Ministry is always all-encompassing, and we have to prioritize the important over the urgent. If we are blessed with godly elders, there is no reason why they could not share in marriage counseling and grief encouragement - indeed if the pastor is relatively young, they may be better suited for it than him. There may be squeaky wheels who are getting too much of our attention, or people with mental health problems far greater than we can handle. Referral to a Christian (or even in some cases a secular) counselor may be a wise decision, though surely we will also want to walk alongside these people pastorally, just as we would for a major physical trial.

My concern is that in response to a culture that underestimates the power of the pulpit, some may overestimate it. I have a very high view of preaching; indeed, I have seen repeatedly in students that they read their bibles the way they hear it preached, for better or worse. But just as some may be temperamentally inclined to underprepare for preaching, spending too much time on other pastoral responsibilities, there may be some who are inclined to hide with their books and neglect the sheep. That would certainly be my own tendency. If we expect our people to share in the comforting and edifying task with us, we surely will need to lead by example, modeling for them what it looks like. Larger churches may be able to add a staff member to lead in this area, but it is still wise for the senior pastor to stay in touch with his people in their painful seasons, not least to help him gauge the struggles that he needs to address in his preaching.

 

[KMK]

The best kind of counseling comes from the Word of God lovingly applied through preaching. However, the only way a preacher can apply the Gospel efficiently is by knowing his sheep intimately. Getting to know their strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, wisdom and folly, equips the preacher to preach even better. How can a preacher who does zero counseling know his sheep well enough to apply the Gospel to their individual needs?

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

It's a bit late at that point isnt it? There are people that have parents with no biblical wisdom and therefore no guidance. Just because two people want to be married doesn't mean it's biblically wise. Would you forego any counseling, mention being unequally yoked at the wedding you are performing on a believer to unbeliever? I think some form of marriage counseling is necessary.

I am not against all marriage counseling per se; more the idea that a pastor is supposed to take time out of his busy schedule to give every couple in his congregation "marriage counseling" for several weeks, which is generally how that sort of thing works out over here.

 

[Miss Marple]

As naught but a member I think formal counseling, beyond the preaching in the pulpit, is necessarily part of the pastoral ministry.

Time management is something we all must do. A pastor obviously can't just have counseling appointments all week like a psychiatrist. He has many other duties.

However, in the often cited instance of marriage counseling which seems to be the largest call - where are wives or husbands to go if their marriage is in trouble? To the Word, yes, but the problem is many of us don't understand how it applies to particular situations and need biblical or at least non-sinful helps in communicating, submitting, leading, and general interaction. Application to our particular situations, attitudes, and sinful habits. Encouragement from a biblical perspective. And - accountability. Discipline.

Will you send us to a Marriage Counselor in this modern age? We will get almost nothing but secular help. The better ones might intend to respect biblical adherence on our parts. But they will fail. They are unbelievers.

 

[Rom]

I am not against all marriage counseling per se; more the idea that a pastor is supposed to take time out of his busy schedule to give every couple in his congregation "marriage counseling" for several weeks, which is generally how that sort of thing works out over here.

I do think that some counseling matters like this are a pastor's investment of time -- in the hope you will not deal with greater pastoral wreckage later on, especially if you start to get a sense the marriage really should not move forward as the two cannot walk together not being in agreement (Amos 3:3) or that one or both parties have an unbiblical expectation for the marriage (children, submission, headship, etc.) I am shocked at how many who have grown up in Reformed Churches who seem to have selective amnesia when it comes to marriage duties that have been preached to them or taught to them their entire life. Or you find things about their finances or views on children that start to make alarm bells go off. Better to discover that before the marriage than after.

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" is one way a minister can look at this.

 

[Ben Zartman]

I appreciate all the answers thus far, and since counseling has been thoroughly and fruitfully discussed, I'd like to narrow the focus to the other two matters mentioned: weddings and funerals.
Is there a biblical reason/command that funerals be officiated by a minister? Same with weddings.

 

[iainduguid]

I seem to remember that there was a disagreement of opinion on this among the Westminster commissioners. I recall that there was a funeral which all the English commissioners attended but the Scots refused to go because there would be preaching, and they didn't think they had Biblical warrant for it. So it's a legitimate question.

Having said that, one of the great privileges for me when I was a pastor was to speak into people's lives at times of great turmoil (births, marriages, deaths, divorces, job losses). I'd gladly skip a ton of meetings in order to be present with folks when they are grieving and rejoicing. People don't forget kindness shown to them in these moments. I suppose it could get out of hand and become a burden, especially if your church has a lot of older folk, but you get to engage with people at these events who would otherwise never darken the door of your church, who are coming of their own free will expecting you to preach to them. I'd rather have a competent elder or a seminary student lead a midweek prayer meeting or Sunday evening service than give up on these events.