Larger home in the country vs. smaller home in the city

[Tim]

I am not there yet, but I would like your thoughts regarding city vs. country living. I am primarily interested the issue of choosing between city and country living.

All things being equal....

You can get a big house and lots of land in the country. But you will not have the perks of city living.

You can get a nice place in the city, but it will not be big. But you will have the benefits of all that a metropolitan area has to offer - arts, culture, sports, networking, attractive developments and recreational areas, etc. I admit that some of these are completely secular benefits.

My personal decision that eventually will have to be made is whether I seek to get a job at a university in a small college town or a metropolitan area.

Please speak of your preferences and reasons one way or the other.

 

[Christoffer]

When you are single the city is a good place to be, with all that "extra" time on your hands. Probably easier to find a future wife also as there are more churches available.

When you have a family I'd say the countryside is preferable. It is safer and you can have more room.

At least in Finland the trend is that the more rural the area, the more conservative the people are. This can be important for people who will have to make use of public schooling. The community would probably be in uproar if they found out that the kids have been taught that it is ok to have two daddies or two moms.

 

[SueS]

When you are single the city is a good place to be, with all that "extra" time on your hands. Probably easier to find a future wife also as there are more churches available.

When you have a family I'd say the countryside is preferable. It is safer and you can have more room.

At least in Finland the trend is that the more rural the area, the more conservative the people are. This can be important for people who will have to make use of public schooling. The community would probably be in uproar if they found out that the kids have been taught that it is ok to have two daddies or two moms.

I totally agree. There are many cultural benefits to living in the city but country life is so much more free. Not only is a country setting better suited to raising children but it can enable you to live a more self-sustaining life style, such as being able to raise your own food via a large garden and possibly a few chickens, etc, or heating with wood. It is peaceful - here on Bald Mountain I awaken to the sound of birds and can look out my window to see various forms of wild life wandering around. On a clear night it is so SILENT with stars shining in the black sky overhead, something that cannot be seen in the city due to light pollution. We are 50 miles from Pittsburgh and are able to visit regularly to get a dose of culture - we're going to Heinz Hall tomorrow night to attend a performance of "The Planets". Pittsburgh is a nice place to visit but there's no way I would live there or in the ajoining suburbs. Living out in the woods at a convenient distance from the city is, in my opinion, the best of both worlds.

 

[Tim]

Yes, you may indeed have the best of both worlds. Perhaps the key is to live an hour away from the city, like you.

I think self-sustainability is important, as is the effect on children.

 

[LawrenceU]

Country.

I'd rather use an out house if need be than put up with much of the stuff that goes along with living in the city. Convenience comes with a stiff price in most places.

 

[bouletheou]

I've lived in both and enjoyed both. I'm a country boy, but there are some drawbacks, especially in places like Western South Dakota.

When you get a big snow, and you live in the country, you're stuck for days, whereas the city and even the small town folks get plowed out pretty quick. That's probably not a problem if you stay in South Africa.

You will spend a lot on gas and a lot of time driving if you have to commute to a job.

You better not forget anything at the grocery store. It's a lot of driving if you do.

During bad weather you can be without power for days. If you have a medical emergency, it takes a longer time for help to arrive. If you have other trouble and need help, neighbors are often miles away. Heating is generally done either with electric or propane. Both of those are relatively expensive ways to heat a house.

Unless you happen to be in an area that has good rural water, you've got well issues. During a dry spell your well may play out. It might be poor water and need lots of treatment. It might even be unhealthy. There are lots of agricultural chemicals in the aquifers and you'll be drinking atrazine and who knows what else. Filtration systems exist, but who really knows how good they are? Do you really want your kids drinking RoundUp?

Lots of people out here haul water because wells have to be drilled really deep, and you're often looking at $35K just to drill. And then you water might suck. But hauling water sucks, too. You've also got potential septic tank issues, which can be a headache and can be a problem for your well water quality.

My best advice is to find a nice small town. That's what I did. You get a lot of the infrastructure benefits of the city with a lot of the safety and cost benefits of the country. And you generally get a nice social network after a few years of living in the area and getting to know your neighbors. The schools can be OK, but I'm a fan of homeschooling/classical schooling anyhow.

 

[JoyFullMom]

You don't have to be *completely* rural. We live about 15-20 min. drive from the city and church. We are in a country *neighborhood* where everyone is on 5-10 acres. We have a shop, can have garden and any animal except pigs. We enjoy heating with wood from our own property. My children have lots of room to run and explore and work, and yet, we have not isolated ourselves from fellowship and amenities.

Editing to add, no matter where you live, if you have sons, by all means figure out a way for them to have physical WORK available to them. The older boys get, the LESS they need to sit in the house!

 

[Kevin]

We live in a small (165k) city in Eastern Cananda, and I love it. We have lived in big cities of several million, small towns of a few hundred & in the country.

The primary drawback of the country is isolation. We have one family 50 min from church & it is a real hardship. I know many people in this situation & they all have problems.

We are 5-10 min from all of our kids activities & the oppourtunities for ministry are much greater in a city. The math is simple; more people=more opportunities for evangelism.

As much as I love country life, I think that we have the best of both worlds.

 

[Backwoods Presbyterian]

I always giggle a little inside when I hear cityfolk refer to 165,000 person cities as "small".

165,000 is 3x bigger than the largest city in the State of West Virginia.

 

[N. Eshelman]

City.

The country is no place to raise children.

We have four children and live in Los Angeles. It is possible to have a family in the city and to do quite well. We have a 2600 square foot home (4 bedrooms) in a trendy LA neighborhood- and there is plenty or room. We have trees to climb, a yard, and all of the things that are in the country- just on a scale where dominion is possible for us.

We also have parks within walking distance, a spectrum of races and cultures to teach our kids about, museums, colleges, eateries, parks, libraries, botanical gardens, shops- and all the places where people are located. Don't let 'city' scare you- even if you want a family. Many are quite able to raise children unto the glory of God in cities. Some of us even believe that cities are part of God's design-

remember, the Scriptures begin in a garden- but they end in a city.

You will have to weigh your options prayerfully.

 

[JBaldwin]

Even when I was single, I lived on the outskirts of the city. I can't stand the noise, smell and crowds. It is a bit inconvenient to have to drive at least five miles to the closest town, but we adjust by doing everything we need in one or two trips. I vote country living!

 

[sdesocio]

I'd encourage you to take a different look at where to live. I'm disappointed that so many christians seem to think that this is just a question of bang for your buck. It saddens me to think of so many Christians primarily motivated by the worlds thinking when it comes to where they should live.
All Christians need to ask "where is God calling me to live?" Not wheres the best ROI? Whats the safest place? Whats the nicest place?
I grew up in the country and the suburbs and now live in the city. Sure I could buy a bigger place somewhere else. But God has called me to Pittsburgh, so we live in a very small house(780sq ft) and we have to think creatively about storage, and we don't have a big back yard, but I don't see any of those things as essentials in life. I hope wherever we move next is a move motivated by calling not comfort or connivence. I wrote an article about this a while back examining the wider assumptions about finding a place to live. You can find it here.

 

[Kevin]

BTW every Sunday in my pastoral prayer, I ask God to "show us ways to live the gospel & share the love of God with those that you have given to be our neighbors, here in THIS city that you have called us to live in." I believe that this attitude is key, no matter where God calls you to live.

 

[TexanRose]

I would say "it depends." Different cities have drastically different costs of living and very different amenities as well. Living in New York City might mean living in a 600 square foot condo and still having outrageous rent or mortgage payments. That's a pretty big sacrifice to make for the sake of the amenities. But cities like Houston or Indianapolis (two that I'm familiar with) are much more affordable.

Smaller towns are often a good compromise, provided that you are able to work in the smaller town and don't have to commute to a larger one.

College towns often have many of the amenities of the larger cities in terms of art and culture. However, college campuses often being more liberal environments, much of that "art" and "culture" might not appeal to you. I felt as though my children were *more* exposed to liberal influences when we lived in a smaller college town than they are when we are in the city we live near now. College campuses can be liberal places, and when the college is the primary feature of the city, it really influences the tone of things.

I live in the country about 1/2 hour from a major city. A major disadvantage of country living, in my opinion, is the time spent driving. An hour round trip to church, forty minutes round trip to the grocery store, etc...many weeks I spend 8 hours or more in the car. There are a lot of ways I would rather spend that time.

I have come to really appreciate many of the amenities in the city closest to me; there are many free or affordable things that I can do with my children there, like parks, museums, and so on. And as a runner, I appreciate that the city offers a number of excellent running trails.

I can't see how living in a city would have a negative effect on children, providing you are planning to homeschool them. But maybe I'll feel differently when my children are older.

There are also usually more options in terms of Christian schools in larger cities, if that's the direction you're leaning.

Personally, I appreciate the ethnic diversity of larger cities.

A lot of different factors to consider. The primary one, of course, being whether or not there is a good church in the neighborhood you are considering. I think the presence of a really good church--ideally one you can support without any reservations--does more to influence your quality of life there than anything else.

 

[Idelette]

Cost is not always a factor because you can find cheaper cities to live in where you could afford a larger home. And sometimes living in the country can actually be more expensive. (Jobs don't pay nearly as much as larger cities do, and not everything is readily available making it more expensive.) I'd say, there are advantages and disadvantages to both, so you need to weigh what things are most important to you.

Some of the advantages of city living are cultural activities, diversity, convenience, short drives, efficiency of businesses etc. For example, if you run out of something you can easily get to the grocery store quickly, whereas living in the country that isn't always the case. In the country, you may have to wait until it is worthwhile to take a trip into town and make an entire day out of it.....so it can be quite inconvenient! Some disadvantages of living in the city are safety issues, more traffic, fast-paced lifestyle, and more exposure to some sinful things (such as provocative advertisements on highways, or homosexuals in the streets, etc.)

Advantages of country living are self-sufficiency, quiet, beautiful scenery, less traffic, less people, more safe. You will learn to make things yourself simply out of necessity such as growing your own vegetables or making your own bread, etc. Disadvantages are having to drive a long distance everywhere because everything is so spread apart (this can make it hard for fellow-shipping as well). Other disadvantages are having to be prepared in case of weather or power outages (I got snowed in 3 times this winter in the country, and each time I had to prepared with enough food, clean water, dry firewood etc. In the city, these were things that I wouldn't have been concerned about.) Other issues are having to deal with animals such as possums, snakes, or mice that may have invaded your country home....trust me, not very pleasant! Another disadvantage that you may run into is that businesses are not nearly as efficient as larger cities. For example, you may have to wait two weeks for something to get done that would have taken just one day in the city. Overall, one thing that I've learned, is that it does take much more work living in the country (regardless if you do any self-sustaining or not). It simply takes more work getting places and doing things in the country as opposed to living in a city.

But, you could find a wonderful place in the country or a wonderful place in the city and still not have a good church. I used to live near Chicago, and there were dozens of reformed churches there.....but there were certain things that I was looking for that I was unable to find in all of those churches. Ultimately, I think it has to deal more with your calling in life and vision for your family, and as Sharon said, the presence of a good church. So, my personal opinion would be that it's most important to find a church and build your life around that. So often, people move because of work and although I understand that....I think having a solid church is far more valuable than having a better job.

 

[Montanablue]

Let me just tell you, as someone who was raised in the country and who lives there now - it can be really hard to grow up here and not get into trouble just out of sheer boredom. There are lots of problems with raising children in the city to be sure, but there are problems in the country as well - the problems are just different. There's rampant alcoholism, meth use, and very risky sexual behaviors. When young people don't have as much readily available, they make their own "fun." I'm not necessarily advocating for one over the other, but don't be fooled into thinking country living is somehow a more"pure" way to grow up. Go to an FFA conference and you'll be disabused of that notion quickly!

 

[SolaScriptura]

Personally, I have a slight preference to country living, but when I say "country living" I don't mean out in the middle of nowhere Kansas where it is an hour drive to the nearest grocery store. I mean, living out just past the suburbs where I can have a bonfire and shoot guns, but yet I'm still within a reasonable distance to all the amenities of cultured life.

 

[LawrenceU]

Let me just tell you, as someone who was raised in the country and who lives there now - it can be really hard to grow up here and not get into trouble just out of sheer boredom. There are lots of problems with raising children in the city to be sure, but there are problems in the country as well - the problems are just different. There's rampant alcoholism, meth use, and very risky sexual behaviors. When young people don't have as much readily available, they make their own "fun." I'm not necessarily advocating for one over the other, but don't be fooled into thinking country living is somehow a more"pure" way to grow up. Go to an FFA conference and you'll be disabused of that notion quickly!

While this is true in some communities. It is not necessarily the case. There are plenty of rural communities that still allow one to raise children in a strong moral community. One can find sin in which to engage anywhere. It is just more easily found, and often much more open, tolerated, and encouraged in large centers of population. Mass media has moved the major population influence beyond its natural borders. Perhaps a few good solar flares every now and then would help out.

 

[Tim]

I'd encourage you to take a different look at where to live. I'm disappointed that so many christians seem to think that this is just a question of bang for your buck. It saddens me to think of so many Christians primarily motivated by the worlds thinking when it comes to where they should live.
All Christians need to ask "where is God calling me to live?" Not wheres the best ROI? Whats the safest place? Whats the nicest place?
I grew up in the country and the suburbs and now live in the city. Sure I could buy a bigger place somewhere else. But God has called me to Pittsburgh, so we live in a very small house(780sq ft) and we have to think creatively about storage, and we don't have a big back yard, but I don't see any of those things as essentials in life. I hope wherever we move next is a move motivated by calling not comfort or connivence. I wrote an article about this a while back examining the wider assumptions about finding a place to live. You can find it here.

Excellent point. My original post probably highlighted more the economic/comfort/convenience. In actual fact, my first priorities, in order are, a good church, and a good job with which I can support my future family. From there, we have aspects of safety, community morality, etc.

I guess since those things go without saying, I didn't mention them!

 

[Ivan]

I grew up WAY out in the country 35 minutes from downtown St. Louis. The area where I grew up has actually declined in population. I'd love to live there again, but it probably will never happen. It is a very rural community about five miles off Interstate 55 (if you ever drive that way going into St. Louis you will see a sign that says "Livingston-New Douglas exit". That's about five miles from where I grew up. Getting to St. Louis is very easy via the interstate system and the city offers many cultural delights. On the Metro-East (Illinois) side of the river are many other amenities as well.

That would be my preference: in the country near a major city.

We will hopefully soon be moving into a home in Poplar Grove, IL where our church is. Poplar Grove was one of the fastest growing little communities in Northern Illinois until the Great Recession hit (unemployment is around 20% here). Poplar Grove has about 2500 inhabitants at this time. It's what many people would call rural. I wouldn't.

To the immediate west is the city of Rockford, only about 15 minutes away. To the north is Madison, WI, over an hour away. To the northeast is Milwaukee, WI, probably close to an hour away. Chicago is to the east, a relatively quick trip via Interstate 90. There is also a rail system that will take one cheaply to the Windy City.

So there is much to be offered by living is a very small community near these metropolitan areas. Still, I'd like to live in Southern Illinois on the farm my ancestors lived on for five generations. By writing this post I am missing home, missing the farm and missing St. Louis.

 

[a mere housewife]

If I could live anywhere it would definitely be somewhere in the country, because the beauty of the earth is such an incredible joy. It's worth all the inconveniences -- the happiest year of my life was spent freezing without indoor heat, having to pump water, often losing electricity, traveling 1 1/2 hours roundtrip by bus to a grocery store etc. I could sit on the front step every morning while the sun rose on the mountain and read Matthew Henry; I think such things are much deeper joys than can be measured against inconveniences, and help to sustain you more deeply than conveniences could through sorrow -- in the rustling grass you are always hearing Him pass. But yes, one does not really choose for oneself in this regard either; and God has been very good to give us windows and trees and sunrises, and Matthew Henry in the city where He has us now.

 

[Jeffriesw]

From a purely "self" standpoint I prefer the country life. I grew up where the closet neighbor was about a half mile away, when we wnated as kids to play we just took off and walked over. I like to live where it is quiet, not a lot of noise from neighbors,I can go in my backyard and shoot whenever I want, lets the dogs run loose and just generally be left alone.
But I don't know what the future holds for us yet, My youngest son is off to college and we are praying and seeking God's will for the rest of our life.

 

[Theoretical]

Let me just tell you, as someone who was raised in the country and who lives there now - it can be really hard to grow up here and not get into trouble just out of sheer boredom. There are lots of problems with raising children in the city to be sure, but there are problems in the country as well - the problems are just different. There's rampant alcoholism, meth use, and very risky sexual behaviors. When young people don't have as much readily available, they make their own "fun." I'm not necessarily advocating for one over the other, but don't be fooled into thinking country living is somehow a more"pure" way to grow up. Go to an FFA conference and you'll be disabused of that notion quickly!

I like living in the city, and I live and interact in a aggressively secular area. My area is also heavily materialistic and the "nice part of town"--as many private collegiate areas tend to be. Growing up in a churchianity home, the antithesis of the secularism helps me stay focused on the need of the people around me for Christ and His Kingdom. Some of the most resistant people I've ever seen to the Gospel have been "decent folks" from wealthy, "safe" areas who claim to be Christian. Many of the most receptive have been people living on the fringes of society, whether in morality, finances or belief, and the insulation rural or suburban areas provide can really insulate us from the fallen and brokenness of this World.

There's more active warfare against the family in an urban/secular area, but I really think Kathleen has a point about kids "making their own 'fun'" where it's out.

I think the difference is that in the city, it's almost impossible to get away with heavily sheltering your children and them turning out well without significant hiccups. Be it serious Christian belief, materialism, otherworldliness, personal morality (especially sexually), and the like, I think city living forces those issues into the forefront and requires positive expressions and reaffirmations of viewpoints rather than a bunch of don'ts. I personally don't see having to live on the offensive as a bad thing. It gives us the initiative and advantages of being a counterculture.

 

[sdesocio]

Thats what happens when you have two threads open at the same time....ba.