earl40
Puritan Board Professor
2015
This past Aprils' Fools day and I was ready for any contingency that might be thrown my way. I considered going fishing this afternoon and checking into a hotel for the night. Now of course my family and friends know every year what "she" does, and many of them warned me of the day and I WAS READY. So anyhow I wake up a little before 5am as I do M-F, and I consciously look at the digital display on the TV cable box which can't be changed knowing that last year "she" set all the clocks ahead an hour (like "she" would do that again....not). So far so good, and the mice are asleep in the house so I know I am safe for the next few hours or so. I get to work and place my cell phone in the locker away from earshot, and mentally check myself for the day that is before me. The day goes well and nobody dies while I do my job at the hospital which I am thankful to The Lord for, though my coworkers warn me about "her"...again and again. Now I have a stomach that is made of cast iron, but as the day wears on I contemplate taking a Nexium® to ward off the ulcer that awaits me. The work day ends and I go to the locker and retrieve my cell and am relieved that no "messages" are there. I wipe the sweat off my brow, get home, take a nap, knowing that I usually don't dream, or have nightmares, in the short time I snooze in the afternoon. I wake up about 2 hours before "she" gets home and decide to fix the fence which is outside away from any phones. I finish the job (a good job BTW) and am still outside when "she" drives up. I walk up to the car and she says "Hi hone" to which I reply "I am not talking to you". She feigns surprise to my reply and I say "you know exactly what I meant". I break down and open my mouth and allow words to exist and explain my woodwork on the fence to her that shall be nameless. Of course a discussion ensues about "the day" where "she" says "she" didn't plan anything this year. Of course Tina, oops I called "her" by name, is not as scrupulous as I am on breaking one of the 10 commandments, specifically #9. Of course being a "practicing" Christian and I stress the word practicing knowing in my heart I am lacking the judgment of charity when I acknowledge her confession that I am home Scot-free. Did I mention breaking #9 is one of The Ten? So we hang around and "she" says lets go down to Tina (a neighbor that happens to have the same name as my wife) and Jim's house to see the "twin butterflies that are cocooned together". Now remember I believe I am probably out of the woods, and am not worried about seeing the oddity of nature (conjoined twins in cocoons) which she told me about yesterday, which was the set up BTW. Like us our neighbors raise butterflies from egg to flight, and be forewarned don't ever start doing this, because it is expensive in that each caterpillar can eat an entire plant in two or three days, and each plant cost about 5 bucks. So we walk down to "the neighbors" which I shall refuse to call them by name for the rest of the story. We greet our "friends" and go out back to see the sight of the twins. I look into the net and see 2 ordinary cocoons and ask "where are the twins" to which "the neighbors" and the "wife" are grinning like The Cheshire Cat. Yes that was the Aprils' fool prank in that there was no "twin cocoon". Now I am totally relieved that I was allowed to keep all my limbs and didn't have to spend hours trying to fix a faux car problem. A side note on about fixing things my "neighbor" knocked of one of the cocoons from the net and reattached it to the net using superglue.....to which I can't wait to see if that operation will be a success.
April 2 2015
I thought Tina was the only one that "loved" me yesterday. Well I recently came out of the Stone Age and got a Smart Phone which I am still pondering if it is woth the extra 20 bucks a month for. Well I see that I have a message sent to me last night at 8:08pm from my brother Robert. The text conversation reads as follows.
Brother at 8:08 pm April 1st: I got let go today. Ohwell
Me the next day when I see I have a message: So sorry Robert. Give me a call this afternoon to tell me what happened.
Brother: Aprils' Fool, got ya.
My responce, that I can only share with Robert is profanity along with a: smiley: laugh
I am mentally beat.smiley: tongue
This past Aprils' Fools day and I was ready for any contingency that might be thrown my way. I considered going fishing this afternoon and checking into a hotel for the night. Now of course my family and friends know every year what "she" does, and many of them warned me of the day and I WAS READY. So anyhow I wake up a little before 5am as I do M-F, and I consciously look at the digital display on the TV cable box which can't be changed knowing that last year "she" set all the clocks ahead an hour (like "she" would do that again....not). So far so good, and the mice are asleep in the house so I know I am safe for the next few hours or so. I get to work and place my cell phone in the locker away from earshot, and mentally check myself for the day that is before me. The day goes well and nobody dies while I do my job at the hospital which I am thankful to The Lord for, though my coworkers warn me about "her"...again and again. Now I have a stomach that is made of cast iron, but as the day wears on I contemplate taking a Nexium® to ward off the ulcer that awaits me. The work day ends and I go to the locker and retrieve my cell and am relieved that no "messages" are there. I wipe the sweat off my brow, get home, take a nap, knowing that I usually don't dream, or have nightmares, in the short time I snooze in the afternoon. I wake up about 2 hours before "she" gets home and decide to fix the fence which is outside away from any phones. I finish the job (a good job BTW) and am still outside when "she" drives up. I walk up to the car and she says "Hi hone" to which I reply "I am not talking to you". She feigns surprise to my reply and I say "you know exactly what I meant". I break down and open my mouth and allow words to exist and explain my woodwork on the fence to her that shall be nameless. Of course a discussion ensues about "the day" where "she" says "she" didn't plan anything this year. Of course Tina, oops I called "her" by name, is not as scrupulous as I am on breaking one of the 10 commandments, specifically #9. Of course being a "practicing" Christian and I stress the word practicing knowing in my heart I am lacking the judgment of charity when I acknowledge her confession that I am home Scot-free. Did I mention breaking #9 is one of The Ten? So we hang around and "she" says lets go down to Tina (a neighbor that happens to have the same name as my wife) and Jim's house to see the "twin butterflies that are cocooned together". Now remember I believe I am probably out of the woods, and am not worried about seeing the oddity of nature (conjoined twins in cocoons) which she told me about yesterday, which was the set up BTW. Like us our neighbors raise butterflies from egg to flight, and be forewarned don't ever start doing this, because it is expensive in that each caterpillar can eat an entire plant in two or three days, and each plant cost about 5 bucks. So we walk down to "the neighbors" which I shall refuse to call them by name for the rest of the story. We greet our "friends" and go out back to see the sight of the twins. I look into the net and see 2 ordinary cocoons and ask "where are the twins" to which "the neighbors" and the "wife" are grinning like The Cheshire Cat. Yes that was the Aprils' fool prank in that there was no "twin cocoon". Now I am totally relieved that I was allowed to keep all my limbs and didn't have to spend hours trying to fix a faux car problem. A side note on about fixing things my "neighbor" knocked of one of the cocoons from the net and reattached it to the net using superglue.....to which I can't wait to see if that operation will be a success.
April 2 2015
I thought Tina was the only one that "loved" me yesterday. Well I recently came out of the Stone Age and got a Smart Phone which I am still pondering if it is woth the extra 20 bucks a month for. Well I see that I have a message sent to me last night at 8:08pm from my brother Robert. The text conversation reads as follows.
Brother at 8:08 pm April 1st: I got let go today. Ohwell
Me the next day when I see I have a message: So sorry Robert. Give me a call this afternoon to tell me what happened.
Brother: Aprils' Fool, got ya.
My responce, that I can only share with Robert is profanity along with a: smiley: laugh
I am mentally beat.smiley: tongue
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