Made me laugh today.

[reaganmarsh]

A monk joined a monastery and took a vow of silence. 10 years in, his superior summoned him and asked, "Do you have anything to say?" The monk replied, "The food is bad." 10 more years passed in silence, and the monk had another chance to voice his thoughts: "The bed is hard." Another decade of silence came and went, and the monk stood once more before his superior. This time, he had a different statement to make: "I quit." His superior replied, "That doesn't surprise me at all; you've done nothing but complain ever since you got here."

 

[Stephen L Smith]

This is a true story. In my home province in New Zealand there lived Mr and Mrs Monk, Mr and Mrs Priest, and Mr and Mrs Bishop (The Priest's were family friends). A visitor from another region came to visit Mr and Mrs Priest, but unfortunately got lost in the rural community. They came to one house and asked the residents "Are you the Priest family?" "No I am a Bishop" was the reply!

Needless to say the visitor was somewhat perplexed!

 

[Bill The Baptist]

Since you told a monk joke, to make it fair to the papists, I will tell a pastor joke.

Three pastors got together on occasion for accountability. Ordinarily, they would only confess to relatively banal sins and then pray for one another. However, on one particular day, one of the pastors said to the other two "I have a real confession to make. I struggle with alcoholism. Please don't tell my congregation." Inspired by his forthrightness, the second pastor also spoke up and said "I have a confession as well, I have a gambling problem. Please don't tell my congregation either." Not to be left out, the third pastor then chimed in "Well, I guess I ought to make a confession as well. I struggle with gossip, and I can't wait to get out of here."

 

[reaganmarsh]

I love those jokes! Ha ha!

 

[Southern Presbyterian]

 

[Ask Mr. Religion]

One for the Calvinist is in order:

A Baptist Man, a Pentecostal Woman, and a Calvinist all die and get to the gates of Heaven.

St. Peter tells them, “You’ve all done well, but to get into Heaven I am going to need to interview each of you in private to make sure your qualified.”

At this point the Baptist and Pentecostal are sweating bullets. Peter chooses the Baptist to go first. So, they go into a small room and are in there for 6 hours. The Pentecostal lady knows that if the Baptist man is having this hard of a time she really must be in trouble. Finally, after the six hours, the Baptist comes out and goes “Whew, I made it.”

Still, nervous the Pentecostal Lady takes her turn and goes in. After 12 hours the Baptist Guy was starting to wonder if she would pass, but sure enough she comes out and says “Whew, I made it.”

The Calvinist confidently walks into the room and shuts the door behind him. He’s in there for over 24 hours and the Pentecostal and Baptist are really starting to wonder what the heck is going on.

Spoiler

Finally, St. Peter comes out and says, “Whew, I made it!”

 

[Bill The Baptist]

One for the Calvinist is in order:]