Man wants to go into missions, wife wants to stay

[calgal]

The fact that God has used individuals both in scripture (David) and in subsequent history (Carey, Fuller), to further His kingdom are not endorsements of the obviously errant behaviour in which they engaged. Maybe we all ought to be selling our younger brothers into slavery? If not much is said about the Apostles' wives, why would anyone assume they did anything other than treat them lovingly and honorably as scripture instructs us? That would be slanderous. Abandoning a wife is never acceptable for a Christian, much less a Church officer or a missionary. What a perniciously wicked idea! What an insult to the Cross!

Jesus Christ disagrees with this assessment. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters -- yes, even his own life --he cannot be my disciple."

If your loyalty to Christ causes pain and tension with family members, you endure that as a Christian, but remain faithful to the Lord. There is no relationship that is more important, there are no person who deserves greater loyalty. This is what's involved; this is the loyalty, this is the depth of commitment necessary to be a follower of Christ.


Gill on Luke 14:26 is exactly what I am attempting to convey. .

not that proper hatred of any, or all of these, is enjoined by Christ; for this would be contrary to the laws of God, to the first principles of nature, to all humanity, to the light of nature, to reason and divine revelation: but that these are not to be preferred to Christ, or loved more than he, as it is explained in ( Matthew 10:37 ) yea, these are to be neglected and forsaken, and turned from with indignation and resentment, when they stand in the way of the honour and interest of Christ, and dissuade from his service: such who would be accounted the disciples of Christ, should be ready to part with their dearest relations and friends, with the greatest enjoyment of life, and with life itself, when Christ calls for it; or otherwise they are not worthy to be called his disciples. The Ethiopic version inserts, "his house", into the account.

Now perhaps I am wrong, which will not be the last time, but if one had to choose between abandoning an unrepentant rebellious wife vs Serving Christ in a calling, Are we not commanded to choose the later and not be disqualified by this inspired choice?

Robert how do you know it is the WIFE that is "unrepentant and rebellious" and not the husband who may be pursuing a mission for all the wrong reasons?

 

[Honor]

ok here are my two cents for what it's worth.
If the bible says the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself up for her then if a husband loves Christ and wants to go to the mission field shouldn't his desire be to take his wife with him? not drop kick her to the curb the second she says hold up a sec.If you read the article they were newly maried with, what was it a 2 year old and one on the way... dude I JUST got done with carrying a child and I can tell you that for one if my husband would have come home from class one day and had wanted us to up and move to ANOTHER COUNTRY right then with a toddler and me pregnant I would have hit him over the head with a frying pan. Pregnancy is stressful, dealing with a toddler is stressful, being newly married is stressful.... him going to school and I assume having a job leaving her with very little time with him much less a break for herself is stressful and then he comes home and expects her to jump up and down with joy when he wants to go into the mission field? and you are saying he should have just left her,,,,, and their child and the unborn baby.... so that he could go "fullfill his call"
are you kidding me? If and this is a BIG IF God called him, He would soften her heart, He would have made her more open to the idea. but obviously this guy is a starter and not much of a finisher. He wanted to just jump in with two feet and not finish his schooling, not finish his duties at home. when you are single.... fine, go, whatever but when you are a husband, a father, your mission field should start at home. not dump them off just because she's not as flighty as you. worse (in my opinion) than an unbeliever.
now to the second thing that bugged me.... the whole train the wife thing. maybe I'm the only one offended by that statment but....
dude I'm not a dog, I'm not a child. I see nowwhere in Scripture that a husband is to train his wife. that to me is insulting. You can talk to me, show me things, but train me? what do I get ??? a treat if I do a trick for you? Come on.

 

[BJClark]

Pergamum;

What would a pastor say during this premarital counseling sesssion?

It would be much like mine was...where our pastor asked me..

"if God were to call him to the mission field overseas, would/could you be supportive of that? would you be willing to give up your comforts and go to a foreign land where they may not have running water? Where the life style and language are completely different? He even asked about children, and how we would feel about having children where there may not be a hospital around (we aren't planning on having anymore children) but he asked anyway..those were just a few of the things he asked about..

But those are things any Christian should consider before they marry...and they should at least be discussed..

 

[BJClark]

Pergamum;

]What are ways in which a husband can begin to "train" a spouse into readiness or cultivate a love in the spouse towards the missionary call? What are ways in which wives can cultivate a happiness in following their husband's call, whether it be as a pastor in the next state over, in a new job which requires a relocation, or going as a missionary cross-culturally?

Loving your wife sometimes means NOT giving her the best physical comforts, and loving your wife means not always succumbing to her weaknesses and desires for affluence and comfort. Yet, man are often blockheads and we drag our wives forward instead of winning her over to our side so that she follows happily.

I think one way would be by encouraging them to go on short term missions trips together--that could allow her to get to know the people, and see the need first hand..while allowing God to work in her heart or not towards that end..

it would allow them both to witness first hand the conditions they may be living in, before either of them make the final decision, a short term trip could change the husbands mind as well..

 

[Amazing Grace]

The fact that God has used individuals both in scripture (David) and in subsequent history (Carey, Fuller), to further His kingdom are not endorsements of the obviously errant behaviour in which they engaged. Maybe we all ought to be selling our younger brothers into slavery? If not much is said about the Apostles' wives, why would anyone assume they did anything other than treat them lovingly and honorably as scripture instructs us? That would be slanderous. Abandoning a wife is never acceptable for a Christian, much less a Church officer or a missionary. What a perniciously wicked idea! What an insult to the Cross!

Jesus Christ disagrees with this assessment. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters -- yes, even his own life --he cannot be my disciple."

If your loyalty to Christ causes pain and tension with family members, you endure that as a Christian, but remain faithful to the Lord. There is no relationship that is more important, there are no person who deserves greater loyalty. This is what's involved; this is the loyalty, this is the depth of commitment necessary to be a follower of Christ.


Gill on Luke 14:26 is exactly what I am attempting to convey. .

not that proper hatred of any, or all of these, is enjoined by Christ; for this would be contrary to the laws of God, to the first principles of nature, to all humanity, to the light of nature, to reason and divine revelation: but that these are not to be preferred to Christ, or loved more than he, as it is explained in ( Matthew 10:37 ) yea, these are to be neglected and forsaken, and turned from with indignation and resentment, when they stand in the way of the honour and interest of Christ, and dissuade from his service: such who would be accounted the disciples of Christ, should be ready to part with their dearest relations and friends, with the greatest enjoyment of life, and with life itself, when Christ calls for it; or otherwise they are not worthy to be called his disciples. The Ethiopic version inserts, "his house", into the account.

Now perhaps I am wrong, which will not be the last time, but if one had to choose between abandoning an unrepentant rebellious wife vs Serving Christ in a calling, Are we not commanded to choose the later and not be disqualified by this inspired choice?

Robert how do you know it is the WIFE that is "unrepentant and rebellious" and not the husband who may be pursuing a mission for all the wrong reasons?

Then he should be rebuked and admonished. Yet the OP did not delve into this area.

 

[Montanablue]

ok here are my two cents for what it's worth.
If the bible says the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself up for her then if a husband loves Christ and wants to go to the mission field shouldn't his desire be to take his wife with him? not drop kick her to the curb the second she says hold up a sec.If you read the article they were newly maried with, what was it a 2 year old and one on the way... dude I JUST got done with carrying a child and I can tell you that for one if my husband would have come home from class one day and had wanted us to up and move to ANOTHER COUNTRY right then with a toddler and me pregnant I would have hit him over the head with a frying pan. Pregnancy is stressful, dealing with a toddler is stressful, being newly married is stressful.... him going to school and I assume having a job leaving her with very little time with him much less a break for herself is stressful and then he comes home and expects her to jump up and down with joy when he wants to go into the mission field? and you are saying he should have just left her,,,,, and their child and the unborn baby.... so that he could go "fullfill his call"
are you kidding me? If and this is a BIG IF God called him, He would soften her heart, He would have made her more open to the idea. but obviously this guy is a starter and not much of a finisher. He wanted to just jump in with two feet and not finish his schooling, not finish his duties at home. when you are single.... fine, go, whatever but when you are a husband, a father, your mission field should start at home. not dump them off just because she's not as flighty as you. worse (in my opinion) than an unbeliever.
now to the second thing that bugged me.... the whole train the wife thing. maybe I'm the only one offended by that statment but....
dude I'm not a dog, I'm not a child. I see nowwhere in Scripture that a husband is to train his wife. that to me is insulting. You can talk to me, show me things, but train me? what do I get ??? a treat if I do a trick for you? Come on.

Amen.

He really even admits as much in the article:

What was here message? In essence it was this: “Michael, God is not going to call you into something that he does not also call your wife into.” You can add about a hundred exclamation points after that and you will catch my drift. I would not even be surprised if there was not a curse word thrown in here or there. I can’t remember. “If God sovereignly calls you into something, do you think he is going to forget about your wife?” she continued. “If she is against it, it is not his will. Period!”

Well, so much for that idea.

That conversation changed me. It changed my marriage. I will never forget it and never be able to express how much of an effect Priscilla’s boldness had on me that night. She helped to re-prioritize this passionate and selfish maverick. She helped me to know that my first priority in ministry is to my wife and family. In a very real sense, Priscilla saved my marriage from my passion for ministry.

And yes, let's try to avoid the word "train" as though we were dealing with an errant dog and not a human created in God's image. For pity's sake... I show my father these posts sometimes and he just shakes his head...

 

[Mushroom]

Now perhaps I am wrong, which will not be the last time, but if one had to choose between abandoning an unrepentant rebellious wife vs Serving Christ in a calling, Are we not commanded to choose the later and not be disqualified by this inspired choice?

If one were to abandon a wife, rebellious or otherwise, he would be disqualified from Church Office - period - and he would have no business working in any official capacity in any ministry. Stretching the exhortation Christ gave on holding the kingdom of God first in our hearts above all else to cover committing the sin of abandoning a wife is appalling, and made even more so by inferring it would be acceptable to do for the purpose of 'serving' God. That is about as satanic a thing as I can imagine.

The scripture you reference cannot mean that Christians 'give up' those things by abandoning their responsibilities. It must refer to an unbelieving spouse doing the abandonment, because a Christian is elsewhere commanded never to do such a thing. God does not contradict Himself. I've heard of wacked-out synergistic charismaniacs coming up with loopy ideas like this, but how could any man who trusts in the sovereignty of God over scripture and over marriages ever conceive of this? Is God not sovereign over the heart of all wives? God will NOT 'call' a man to the mission field or to Church Office whom He has not decreed the particulars of his life to conform with the requirements of the Word. I gotta say it... PAH! again!

 

[a mere housewife]

Having met T&T, I'm sure Pergy did not mean anything at all demeaning by 'train' -- I think he means to ask how a man can lead in such a way that his wife will follow him into greater hardship? And leadership that helps others to follow is of course fully Biblical.

I do think what Bruce said is the key to this sort of discussion: a single person is free to please the Lord; a married person *must* care about the things of the world, how to please their spouse. This is Paul's argument for singleness, and if a married person could simply use a spouse to be basically an even better single person, that would completely destroy the argument in favor of singleness (and destroy the self sacrificial beauty of marriage).

In light of that, I think one way to help a wife endure more hardship is to accept that no matter how much hardship one is able to eventually lead her into, one is never going to be freed up by her to behave like the single person. If a husband can't fulfil his wife's material needs as she has been used to, I think it is important not to neglect caring for her emotional and spiritual needs, and pleasing her in whatever ways are still available. That will take time and effort away from other things he could be doing; but he's a married man, not a single one, and that time and effort are a commitment he made before the Lord, that necessarily limit his service -- he cannot get out of caring about the things of the world, and that is going to break into ministry opportunities -- or again, where is the superiority Paul is arguing for, for singleness? (I think if a man truly is called to serve in the ministry, caring for his wife in this way will not be all consuming because as a help meet for him, she will be strengthened by it to serve as well -- and then of course he has the benefit of being a married and not a single person, in that he has the consolation of a wife who shares his burdens.)

As for Carey and other truly great men whose wives have suffered, I don't think these areas in their lives are allowed so that we will look at them and think 'They did this, and they were great people whom God used, therefore we should do this, too' -- but precisely for the opposite purpose. No matter how wonderful we see that they were by God's grace, we see as Pergy said, that it was His grace in them: they were as fallible as the rest of us, and it is a wonder that God uses anyone (so God can use even not so great me).

 

[calgal]

Robert how do you know it is the WIFE that is "unrepentant and rebellious" and not the husband who may be pursuing a mission for all the wrong reasons?

Then he should be rebuked and admonished. Yet the OP did not delve into this area.

But robert the husband in the linked article was admonished in no uncertain terms. And the OP did "go there" by asking what counsel is best and what to advise both parties to do.

 

[a mere housewife]

Jesus Christ disagrees with this assessment. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters -- yes, even his own life --he cannot be my disciple."

If your loyalty to Christ causes pain and tension with family members, you endure that as a Christian, but remain faithful to the Lord. There is no relationship that is more important, there are no person who deserves greater loyalty. This is what's involved; this is the loyalty, this is the depth of commitment necessary to be a follower of Christ.


Gill on Luke 14:26 is exactly what I am attempting to convey. .

not that proper hatred of any, or all of these, is enjoined by Christ; for this would be contrary to the laws of God, to the first principles of nature, to all humanity, to the light of nature, to reason and divine revelation: but that these are not to be preferred to Christ, or loved more than he, as it is explained in ( Matthew 10:37 ) yea, these are to be neglected and forsaken, and turned from with indignation and resentment, when they stand in the way of the honour and interest of Christ, and dissuade from his service: such who would be accounted the disciples of Christ, should be ready to part with their dearest relations and friends, with the greatest enjoyment of life, and with life itself, when Christ calls for it; or otherwise they are not worthy to be called his disciples. The Ethiopic version inserts, "his house", into the account.

Now perhaps I am wrong, which will not be the last time, but if one had to choose between abandoning an unrepentant rebellious wife vs Serving Christ in a calling, Are we not commanded to choose the later and not be disqualified by this inspired choice?

Robert how do you know it is the WIFE that is "unrepentant and rebellious" and not the husband who may be pursuing a mission for all the wrong reasons?

Then he should be rebuked and admonished. Yet the OP did not delve into this area.

Robert, isn't a problem with much of what (I'm sorry if I've misunderstood) you've been advocating, that in order to determine whether a man wants to go into the ministry for the wrong reasons or has a genuine call you have to resort to some mystical way of determining God's will, not only over and above but actually canceling out a man's revealed duty as a husband, and the revealed qualifications for the ministry? (I'm not meaning to break into the argument, but would like to know how you determine God's call not just apart from, but against, these things?)

 

[BJClark]

]What are ways in which a husband can begin to "train" a spouse into readiness or cultivate a love in the spouse towards the missionary call? What are ways in which wives can cultivate a happiness in following their husband's call, whether it be as a pastor in the next state over, in a new job which requires a relocation, or going as a missionary cross-culturally?

I'm curious (as others have mentioned) does the 'training' of the wives include some form of reward/discipline system as well..

Pergy, I believe you should have used the "" marks over the words 'cultivate a love' as opposed to 'train'; as it is not a husbands responsibility to 'train' his wife anymore than it is a wife's responsibility to 'train' her husband (something I hear quite frequently from women about training their husbands to pick up after themselves and other such things), that was HER parents responsibility to train her, and raise her up in the love for the things of God, including the willingness to go to the Mission field if that is God's will for her future husband and thus their marriage..and if her parents failed in some way to do this, then the older women within the church can certainly help teach her these things as she grows in her walk with Christ, but it's not her husband's responsibility to train her..as if she was his child, because that would diminish her role as his helpmeet, and any children they have would not respect her authority over their lives...it would also effect many other areas of their marriage, including the marriage bed..as what woman would desire to give herself sexually to a man that makes her feel she is married to someone who treats her as a child?? And he is trying to take on the role of her father?? How insulting and lacking respect for her..and their marriage..

 

[lynnie]

I can tell you that for one if my husband would have come home from class one day and had wanted us to up and move to ANOTHER COUNTRY right then with a toddler and me pregnant I would have hit him over the head with a frying pan.

hey, where are all the rotfl little thingeys? This is the best line in the whole thread.

By the way Robert, did you ever stop to think if maybe there might be something wrong with a guy who chooses a rebellious wife in the first place? To be fair, I've seen marriages where they appear to both be totally sold out to the Lord, and things emerge later that the other one never could have guessed were there, and even their friends and elders never saw it coming. Sin nature runs deep and can be well hidden. But on the other hand, I've seen plenty of guys who had the pick of some real nice friendly warm intelligent women who would have made nice wives and mothers, and they end up tossing aside the girls they actually have good fellowship with, for a hot number with not too much underneath.The guy is functioning on the brainstem instead of by the holy spirit if you get my drift. I've seen this over and over and over. Its amazing how a man can be felled into marriage by the gorgeous figure. And that isn't the best candidate for missionary work. Not saying this about the linked blog author, but just pointing out a not so uncommon situation.

 

[JBaldwin]

]What are ways in which a husband can begin to "train" a spouse into readiness or cultivate a love in the spouse towards the missionary call? What are ways in which wives can cultivate a happiness in following their husband's call, whether it be as a pastor in the next state over, in a new job which requires a relocation, or going as a missionary cross-culturally?

I'm curious (as others have mentioned) does the 'training' of the wives include some form of reward/discipline system as well..

Pergy, I believe you should have used the "" marks over the words 'cultivate a love' as opposed to 'train'; as it is not a husbands responsibility to 'train' his wife anymore than it is a wife's responsibility to 'train' her husband (something I hear quite frequently from women about training their husbands to pick up after themselves and other such things), that was HER parents responsibility to train her, and raise her up in the love for the things of God, including the willingness to go to the Mission field if that is God's will for her future husband and thus their marriage..and if her parents failed in some way to do this, then the older women within the church can certainly help teach her these things as she grows in her walk with Christ, but it's not her husband's responsibility to train her..as if she was his child, because that would diminish her role as his helpmeet, and any children they have would not respect her authority over their lives...it would also effect many other areas of their marriage, including the marriage bed..as what woman would desire to give herself sexually to a man that makes her feel she is married to someone who treats her as a child?? And he is trying to take on the role of her father?? How insulting and lacking respect for her..and their marriage..

I agree heartily. As I stated earlier, putting the "training" comment aside, if a man (or a wife for that matter) feels called to the mission field and the other is not in agreement, they need to pray that God will bring them to unity. God is not restricted to calling both the husband and wife at the same time, though in the end both will be convinced they are doing God's will. In my humble opinion, in ANY ministry whether on the mission field or in the local church, a couple needs to be united. At the very least, the spouse should be unified as to the call of the other so as to be supportive.

 

[au5t1n]

Question: When this man had his immaturity exposed, he concluded (and was told) that he was necessarily not called into missions at all. Is his conclusion necessarily true, or might it be that he needed to grow up first, prepare, and get to a point in his marriage when he and his wife would both be ready and willing for such an endeavor? Was he right to assume that he was absolutely not called to the mission field, period, because his wife was resistant, for obvious reasons, to up and leaving right then and there with young children? This is the statement in the article that I'm asking about in particular:

“If she is against it, it is not his will. Period!” -Priscilla

Isn't there a possibility that in spite of valid reasons not to leave right then and there, unqualified, with young kids and a wife who didn't want to go, they may still have been called to prepare for the mission field?

 

[Skyler]

Wasn't Carey's wife also resistant to his calling to India as a missionary?

 

[au5t1n]

Wasn't Carey's wife also resistant to his calling to India as a missionary?

I think there was some discussion of that on page 1 of the thread.

 

[BJClark]

austinww;

Isn't there a possibility that in spite of valid reasons not to leave right then and there, unqualified, with young kids and a wife who didn't want to go, they may still have been called to prepare for the mission field?

Yes, there is, which is why prayer over the matter would be encouraged..and a LOT of discussion over the matter should take place..

But even with the couple mentioned in the article, he was apparently still in his first years of School, so over those next few years they could have discussed it and prayed over the matter..as opposed to ruling it out all together..(in trying to give the man the benefit of doubt here) I don't think he was wanting to drop out of school and rush off to the mission field..but I think that is what many are assuming...in that he came home after class one day and said.."I think God wants me to go into Missions"

The way he could/should have handled it..would be "Honey, I think God is calling me to missions, let's pray about this" as opposed to trying to convince and insist God was doing such by trying to strong arm her into agreement..but as we all agree the man was immature in his walk w/ Chris, he was also still young and immature in his marriage relationship and how to relate to his wife..

 

[au5t1n]

austinww;

Isn't there a possibility that in spite of valid reasons not to leave right then and there, unqualified, with young kids and a wife who didn't want to go, they may still have been called to prepare for the mission field?

Yes, there is, which is why prayer over the matter would be encouraged..and a LOT of discussion over the matter should take place..

But even with the couple mentioned in the article, he was apparently still in his first years of School, so over those next few years they could have discussed it and prayed over the matter..as opposed to ruling it out all together..

I think that is the main disagreement I had with the article. He was told that if his wife is initially opposed to the idea, he must absolutely not be called to missions, ever, period. But I do think he is supposed to be the spiritual leader, ultimately, although he clearly was not mature at this point in his life.

I apologize to anyone offended by the word "train," although I didn't use it personally, I responded in agreement. From Pergamum's posts on the board that I have read, I highly doubt he meant there to be any dog or child training connotations. There must be a better word to express the concept of spiritual leadership that is sacrificial and that recognizes the fact that a wife is an adult, not a child. I am sure that's what he meant too.

 

[daver]

Paul acknowleges that a married man has is not as free as a single man in service to the Lord. I believe Paul was speaking of the reality of marriage and not being critical of the consequences. If your wife is unwilling to go into the mission field and you are still in the "family making" time of life, stay put. If the kids are grown and your call is strong then you may have to go wthout her. In my humble opinion

 

[Skyler]

Wasn't Carey's wife also resistant to his calling to India as a missionary?

I think there was some discussion of that on page 1 of the thread.

Page 2, but yeah, I must've missed it. Thanks.

 

[a mere housewife]

Paul acknowleges that a married man has is not as free as a single man in service to the Lord. I believe Paul was speaking of the reality of marriage and not being critical of the consequences. If your wife is unwilling to go into the mission field and you are still in the "family making" time of life, stay put. If the kids are grown and your call is strong then you may have to go wthout her. In my humble opinion

Is Paul then only speaking about the superiority of singleness with regard to children?

Again, I'm confused as to how one determines the legitimacy of a call, if it is not only something added onto, but something that goes against, duties that are revealed?

 

[Amazing Grace]

Now perhaps I am wrong, which will not be the last time, but if one had to choose between abandoning an unrepentant rebellious wife vs Serving Christ in a calling, Are we not commanded to choose the later and not be disqualified by this inspired choice?

If one were to abandon a wife, rebellious or otherwise, he would be disqualified from Church Office - period - and he would have no business working in any official capacity in any ministry. Stretching the exhortation Christ gave on holding the kingdom of God first in our hearts above all else to cover committing the sin of abandoning a wife is appalling, and made even more so by inferring it would be acceptable to do for the purpose of 'serving' God. That is about as satanic a thing as I can imagine.

The scripture you reference cannot mean that Christians 'give up' those things by abandoning their responsibilities. It must refer to an unbelieving spouse doing the abandonment, because a Christian is elsewhere commanded never to do such a thing. God does not contradict Himself. I've heard of wacked-out synergistic charismaniacs coming up with loopy ideas like this, but how could any man who trusts in the sovereignty of God over scripture and over marriages ever conceive of this? Is God not sovereign over the heart of all wives? God will NOT 'call' a man to the mission field or to Church Office whom He has not decreed the particulars of his life to conform with the requirements of the Word. I gotta say it... PAH! again!

I would appreciate if you can tone down the over dramatic use of language. To equate what i said with a satanic influence is demeaning. I will let it go because obviously you are not looking at what the scriptures say and not approaching this in a manner worth of dialogue.

Now that being said, if you can back up your fleshly rant with some scripture, I will then make all the time necessary to dialogue with you. I will end again with what Dr. Gil rightly divides the verse to mean, and unless you offer some other option, I am compelled to remain where I am at. Leaving an unrepentant rebellious wife who is standing in the husbands way of serving Christ is not only commanded, but applauded. It says nothing of the sort of an unbelieving spouse doing the leaving. It is not even inferred. And I certainly agree that God is Sovereign.

Gill on Luke 14:26 is exactly what I am attempting to convey. .

not that proper hatred of any, or all of these, is enjoined by Christ; for this would be contrary to the laws of God, to the first principles of nature, to all humanity, to the light of nature, to reason and divine revelation: but that these are not to be preferred to Christ, or loved more than he, as it is explained in ( Matthew 10:37 ) yea, these are to be neglected and forsaken, and turned from with indignation and resentment, when they stand in the way of the honour and interest of Christ, and dissuade from his service: such who would be accounted the disciples of Christ, should be ready to part with their dearest relations and friends, with the greatest enjoyment of life, and with life itself, when Christ calls for it; or otherwise they are not worthy to be called his disciples.

 

[Honor]

it can not be applauded if the husband is leaving his wife and two small children.... ever. there is no scripture that backs that up. In fact there are a whole slew of verses that say quiet the contrary.
If I had to talk to the couple I would tell her to really search her heart, and plead with God to change one of thiers heart. Be it her's to give her an open heart towards missions or his heart towards the way he feels about missions at that moment. and I would tell the husband, in the mean time to start with his house and then his neighborhood. Is everyone on his block saved? Have all heard the Gospel from him? use this time to study, learn and practice here.... states side. it said that the wife was only willing to live in one of two places... well, fine when they move back, perhaps they can move to a poorer section of town. Minister to those people. learn a trade that will be useful so that you are not only telling people the good news but you are also a help to them as well. The mission feild, while vastly needed over seas is not the only place. The homeless, the poor, the sick and mentally ill. they need to be reached out to too. If his call to be a missionarry is real then he should be chaffing at the bit to tell EVERYONE the gospel, not just people over seas. If his wife is strongly opposed then let him do it here and approach the subject in a few years or after the kids are in collage and out the house. That way he is catering to her as the weaker vessal and lovingly sacrificing for her. Plus I strongly believe that God would never call a man knowing it would force him to abandon his wife and small children. He can make the rocks cry out for heaven sakes He certainly doesn't NEED this one dude to ruin his family, cause life long damage to his children, and ultimatly sin. and before God calls someone to do something.... anything.... He already knows the hearts of everyone involved. so, sorry you wouldn't get a cookie or a gold star for leaving your wife.

 

[TimV]

in the "family making" time of life, stay put. If the kids are grown and your call is strong then you may have to go wthout her.

Your denomination would excommunicate you if you did that, and rightly so.

 

[au5t1n]

Christ's words about leaving wife to follow him are no more warrant for abandoning a wife and children for a perceived call than God's command through Moses for the Levites to slay "each man his neighbor" is a warrant for us to start slaying our neighbors. Christ gave his commands to follow him in person, but our perception of a call could be wrong, especially when it contradicts what Scripture has already clearly revealed about providing for one's family.

 

[Amazing Grace]

in the "family making" time of life, stay put. If the kids are grown and your call is strong then you may have to go wthout her.

Your denomination would excommunicate you if you did that, and rightly so.

Tim is the OPC this extreme on the Marriage ?

 

[PuritanCovenanter]

(1Ti 5:8) But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

This is a passage where a charge is laid at the mans feet to take care of his household. If he neglects it he is to be considered a non believer at worse. At best he is considered untrustworthy and faithless.

How can this be considered in this conversation?

 

[Pergamum]

Taking care of your family spiritually is much more important than physically. And pushing family members out of comfort zones may, in fact, be taking care of their souls by motivating them to greater holiness and dependance upon God.

I actually had the James verses used against me because we were taking our children to a remote location. But my children actually benefit spiritually by being in harder physical places and seeing how people across the globe live.

Pushing a lazy, indulgent personality into greater sacrifice means to take care of them.

 

[BJClark]

Now that being said, if you can back up your fleshly rant with some scripture, I will then make all the time necessary to dialogue with you. I will end again with what Dr. Gil rightly divides the verse to mean, and unless you offer some other option, I am compelled to remain where I am at. Leaving an unrepentant rebellious wife who is standing in the husbands way of serving Christ is not only commanded, but applauded. It says nothing of the sort of an unbelieving spouse doing the leaving. It is not even inferred. And I certainly agree that God is Sovereign.

1st Cor. 7 would address this issue---

If you left your wife alone you would be depriving her of a sexual relationship with her husband..and could certainly open that door to temptation for both of you---and even then it says they should be in agreement concerning that time..

But no where does it say a man should leave his wife behind and go serve God, but it does say that a man who has a wife should not seek to be free from that wife..

1Cr 7:1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman."

1Cr 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

1Cr 7:3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

1Cr 7:4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

1Cr 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

and further down..

1Cr 7:10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband

1Cr 7:11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

1Cr 7:12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.

1Cr 7:13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.

1Cr 7:15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

1Cr 7:27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.

Even Christ Himself say's you have become one flesh--so to divorce your wife to go into missions you would be separating what God has joined together..

Mat 19:5 "and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh'?
Mat 19:6 "So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."

Eph 5:28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Eph 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

 

[TimV]

Tim is the OPC this extreme on the Marriage ?

It's not extreme.