Man wants to go into missions, wife wants to stay

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In thinking about this a bit more, It dawned on me that..a man who would abandon his wife to go to the mission field----could be viewed as being 'controlled by his emotions' and not thinking things out--even in reading back to the story of the Pastor's youthful recollections...he came home reacting on his 'emotions' of what he had heard and was trying to get the same 'emotional reaction' from his wife...
 
Think about how wonderful it would be if guys like William Carey had held to the idea that when God calls a man He also calls the wife! We wouldn't have a flood of independent missions organizations!

When William Carey drug his wife to India she ended up going insane and he didn't get much done his first ten years. I think he should have waited for God's timing. Your first ministry is to your family, God's ministry will work within that. If she doesn't want to go, you should pray until she is ready.
 
Take Heed to Thyself

[Moderator]All right, this thread seems to have exceeded the boundaries that would have allowed for discussion to be profitable.

Discussions where we talk about the duties of other people are always a little perilous. It's very easy to have strong opinions when you're not involved. It's also very easy to have strong opinions when you've been in a similar situation, and assume that everything carries over, which is not always the case. It seems wisest for each one of us to concentrate on our own responsibility, rather than someone else's. I think that is a crucial point not only for this kind of discussion, but also for the Christian life in general. If you concentrate on your duty, you spend less time feeling aggrieved at people for their wrongdoing - because even when they have objectively done wrong you have a duty of some kind towards them. Of course, to some extent we all have to think about the duty of others, because we are all told to exhort one another while it is called today: and naturally pastors and elders have to spend time thinking about the duties of others in order to be able to make application in preaching or to give counsel when asked. But while we can carefully point out to others what their duty is, we should be very careful of dwelling on the ways they are not fulfilling it, as having a strong tendency to make us unfit for our duties, if it does not actually impel us to shirk them.

I know this has been said time and time again in the thread, but to wrap up the thread, instead of just halting it, let me point out once again that if you have a family (and this is true for men and women) then you have a calling from God right there. That may not be your only calling: its horizons may be broad enough to include, for instance, extensive mentoring of younger women in the skills of godly housekeeping, or blazing trails into dense jungles to take the Gospel to unreached peoples. But the calling of your family is not negotiable: indeed, the only calling more fundamental is that of holiness (which can't be carried on without regard to this calling). Circumstances will vary, and what is reasonable latitude for one person may be gross dereliction for another (e.g., a woman with an invalid husband who has to supplement their income may well be less able to participate in church socials than another woman without those same difficulties).

Now because this is true, you men who have a family need to consider them - their needs and their wishes (do unto others as you would have them do unto you doesn't cease to apply the moment you pop a wedding ring on, after all). God will not call you to something inconsistent with the other callings you've been given. So were you called having a wife? Seek not to be loosed - from her, or any of the responsibilities of provision, care, and tender love that have been imposed upon you. And if she fails in submissiveness or spirituality, it's your responsibility to go on loving and doing your best to support all her good points and any progress she makes or impulses she feels towards new good points.

And because this is true, you women who are married, need to show yourselves to be daughters of Sarah. God spoke to Abraham and revealed a little of His purposes: and Sarah knew she was along for the ride. Your husband may well fail in consideration, in tact, in sympathy, in patience; but that doesn't change your duty to submit, in the recognition that as a general rule a woman's calling centers around the home, while as a general rule a man's calling includes the home and a vocation that relates to the home inasmuch as it is a means of provision, but also extends outside the home.

This thread is done and we're not going to have any thinly-disguised duplicate threads for a while.
[/Moderator]
 
Ruben is allowing me to post an answer to the question Amazing Grace posed above. He asked what I myself would do, since I am the one who posed this question.

Here is my answer:


What I would do...


"I am married and must tend to my family as my primary ministry. If I succeed in evangelizing a tribe, but not my own family, I cannot count that as success. I would, therefore, leave the field and try to be the best husband and father I could be. I think a husband sets the tone and helps even nurture his family and equips/teaches/trains them. But, once joined into a family, a man or a woman is bound....and a wife can disqualify a husband from ministry and a husband must nurture the wife."


Thanks Ruben.

Thanks for all who have contributed.

Glad this thread stimulated discussion, I am very sorry and grieved if heat as well as light also occurred. I praise God for all of you and hope the Lord edifies us all.
 
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