GulfCoast Presbyterian
Puritan Board Senior
The premise struck me as interesting: Cowboys vs. Aliens.
I assumed that it would be more of a comedy, as if it were serious, authentic cowboys such as John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Robert Redford and James Arness would have punked out those evil space critters in about 3 minutes and we would have no need for a 2 hour movie. Alas, the movie took itself WAY too seriously.
Think "b-movie spaghetti western meets b-movie sci-fi flick" and you get the gist of this show. Bad aliens want to steal the Earth's gold, to kidnap Earth's people and experiment/eat them, and the local townspeople get sick of it once the pretty women start getting abducted, band together with the indians and local outlaws, and Mr. James Bond, who happens to have escaped from the space critters with one of thier wrist mounted ray guns (but has no memory).
Harrison Ford tries to play a bad guy, and cannot quite pull it off (mandatory "redemption" theme here). The standout actor is the dog (known as "dog"), who shows up in the first scene, keeps showing up no matter how many times you think that he has become alien-chow, saves the little boy from the aliens, warns everyone all the time, and has the final line in the film ("whine, whine, whine" as Bond saddles up). The dog has an awesome smirk in the whole movie, as if to say "I cannot believe a great canine actor like myself has to keep a straight face in this flick!"
Thoughout the movie, every single person in the place would say, as soon as an alien was finally killed against great odds "DUDE: CUT HIS ARM OFF AND GET HIS RAY GUN!" Somehow, this never occured to the actors and screenwriters, who have the noble apache indians hitting the space critters with sticks when they run out of arrows.
No nudity, no sex, some mild profanity, lots of video game style violence.
2 stars.
I assumed that it would be more of a comedy, as if it were serious, authentic cowboys such as John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Robert Redford and James Arness would have punked out those evil space critters in about 3 minutes and we would have no need for a 2 hour movie. Alas, the movie took itself WAY too seriously.
Think "b-movie spaghetti western meets b-movie sci-fi flick" and you get the gist of this show. Bad aliens want to steal the Earth's gold, to kidnap Earth's people and experiment/eat them, and the local townspeople get sick of it once the pretty women start getting abducted, band together with the indians and local outlaws, and Mr. James Bond, who happens to have escaped from the space critters with one of thier wrist mounted ray guns (but has no memory).
Harrison Ford tries to play a bad guy, and cannot quite pull it off (mandatory "redemption" theme here). The standout actor is the dog (known as "dog"), who shows up in the first scene, keeps showing up no matter how many times you think that he has become alien-chow, saves the little boy from the aliens, warns everyone all the time, and has the final line in the film ("whine, whine, whine" as Bond saddles up). The dog has an awesome smirk in the whole movie, as if to say "I cannot believe a great canine actor like myself has to keep a straight face in this flick!"
Thoughout the movie, every single person in the place would say, as soon as an alien was finally killed against great odds "DUDE: CUT HIS ARM OFF AND GET HIS RAY GUN!" Somehow, this never occured to the actors and screenwriters, who have the noble apache indians hitting the space critters with sticks when they run out of arrows.
No nudity, no sex, some mild profanity, lots of video game style violence.
2 stars.
Last edited: