My soul is weary

Status
Not open for further replies.

AnnaBanana

Puritan Board Freshman
I don't mean to vent but I have become exhausted lately by people that I just need some direction from an outside perspective.

I consider myself a kind person who tries to see the good in everyone. I try and go out of my way to make others feel welcome, loved, and respected. If someone asks a favor, I will do my best to help them the best that I can. If someone is rude or angry with me, I will try and use kind/gentle words to try and dissipate the argument. I have my faults, I am not saying I don't... but in general, I try to just be an overall kind person.

This has made me completely exhausted. I am not doing these things to receive something in return but I will be honest, it would be nice if someone ONCE offered to be a shoulder for me to cry on, offered to help me, held the door for me, or just said "thank you" for something as simple as offering to help with something.

I understand we are to love our enemies, be patient, kind, gentle, good, filled with self control, and live in peace will all... but has anyone else noticed this is becoming harder and harder?

Even my own family... there is so much toxicity within it I struggle to always be the one to be light. I am scared the world is making me become colder and harder because of getting walked on so much.

I will continue to love others and do my best to serve others... but is there a line that needs to be drawn? What happens when you feel completely burnt out and just trampled on because you're " too nice" or always bending over backwards for everyone.

Please pray for me in this season. In no way is my relationship with the Lord failing, but I will be honest, I am struggling with even Christians who just are the opposite of what the Word calls us to be.
 
I’m sorry, Anna. That can indeed be a hard situation. I’m sure you’ve considered all that God’s word says about how we are to love and how we are to live with others. The doing of it can be very difficult, especially if you’re not having the fellowship and encouragement we all need. Are you lonely?
 
I don't know enough about your situation, but when I had to deal with stuff like that, this really helped me:
1669655317743.png

I don't necessarily endorse everything they say, but the concept of gentle, yet firm boundaries on what others can expect from you has really helped me.
 
Though we do not know each other, I will pray for you. I am currently doing an in-depth study of the Beatitudes, and your post has resonated with respect to this. For this week's it is,

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth".

Several of the commentators I have consulted speak of how this virtue is contrary to the way of this world and is a grace of God by the Holy Spirit. We should continue to seek this and rest in Christ who suffered far above what we have during His time on this earth. He will strengthen us and the God of all comfort will comfort us.
 
Last edited:
I don’t have any wisdom, but I will pray for you.
 
Hello Ms Banana,

It sounds to me that you have a kind heart. Don’t stop. Perhaps ask your Pastor, there is no need to feel ashamed.

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Galatians 6:9 KJV
 
Your can love people without being their slave. You can serve them without people pleasing. We are not responsible to meet every need of every person in our life; definitely not the toxic people in our lives. Satan can use them to completely drain us so that we can't serve and do what we have been called to do; so we can't be fruitful. I think that I have in the past gotten "niceness' mixed up with meekness or goodness. The world is obsessed with 'being nice' and it has nothing to do with anything that looks like Christ likeness. They are not the same. Christ set boundaries with people (and likewise, you must set boundaries and not wait for others to do so for you. Some people will take everything they can and leave you an empty shell. This is not godliness.) He was not a slave to those around him neither did he tolerate or indulge people who sought to waste his time. This is a necessary and healthy thing. The book on boundaries recommended above sounds like good food for thought. I would also recommend Gary Thomas's book When To Walk Away simply for the Biblical perspective on boundaries as well that we often are not counseled well in the church on. There is often too much misapplication of "turn the other cheek" and not enough wisdom to apply the whole of scripture to relationships. The Bible has A LOT to say about this and would be worth an in-depth study. God calls us to be fruitful and sometimes that requires saying no.
When to Walk Away Bible Study Guide: Finding Freedom from Toxic People https://a.co/d/4UNFIBT
 
Last edited:
Thinking about this further, I certainly am not equating "niceness" with meekness. Understanding the providence of God and his fatherly wisdom there is a good reason you are going through these struggles. Leaning on and seeking the face of Christ we will undoubtedly be strengthened to act righteously in the Spirit and find relief from the exhaustion we feel.

Not knowing your specific circumstances I refrain from commenting on your situation, Anna. But I would be interested to hear how things progress, if and when you feel comfortable to share them.

I do find it shocking sometimes how unthankful some professing Christians appear to be, but may I encourage us all, (myself firstly) not to be tempted towards bitterness. If we have grievances, let us take them up with humility appropriately, and let us not seek gratification from men but aim to rest in and please the Lord who owns us.
 
I’m sorry, Anna. That can indeed be a hard situation. I’m sure you’ve considered all that God’s word says about how we are to love and how we are to live with others. The doing of it can be very difficult, especially if you’re not having the fellowship and encouragement we all need. Are you lonely?
I know what Anna is going through and, yes, I am extremely lonely!!! I realize that Jesus knows exactly what this is like and I am in constant prayer that my loneliness is not me sinning due to lack of trust that God is all I need. I ask Him why He has given us spouses and the church if it is wrong to have expectations of them.
 
I know what Anna is going through and, yes, I am extremely lonely!!! I realize that Jesus knows exactly what this is like and I am in constant prayer that my loneliness is not me sinning due to lack of trust that God is all I need. I ask Him why He has given us spouses and the church if it is wrong to have expectations of them.
To clarify…. I know that Jesus was always in the company of the Father and Holy Spirit except for the brief time on the cross when He bore the Fathers wrath in our place. I only meant that he can identify with the abandonment, betrayal, and rejection we experience at the hands of friends and loved ones and the people whom He came to save.
 
I know what Anna is going through and, yes, I am extremely lonely!!! I realize that Jesus knows exactly what this is like and I am in constant prayer that my loneliness is not me sinning due to lack of trust that God is all I need. I ask Him why He has given us spouses and the church if it is wrong to have expectations of them.
Is it so that they will have expectations of us?

In terms of boundaries, one of the guidelines I've found most helpful is to ask if I'm working harder than the person I'm "helping." Obviously that doesn't apply to something like helping an elderly person move, where the whole point is to work harder. But apart from that kind of scenario, if I'm working harder to solve someone's problems than they are, it's quite likely that I'm enabling bad behavior or attitudes rather than supporting positive changes.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top