Need help understanding some courtship issues

[Kevin]

Hey y'all, I have a pastoral issue that involves a young man in my congregation. He is interested in a young lady whose family practices "courtship".

I need some help understanding where this dad is coming from so that I can offer some practical advice to the young man.

If anyone has some insight into this movement, firsthand or as a pastor i would love to talk to you via pm or phone.

I am not looking start a debate thread, I just need to avoid any "cross-cultural" faux pas that might arise in these circumstances.

Thanks

 

[Notthemama1984]

ask the dad where he is coming from?

 

[cajunhillbilly53]

sounds like back in the 1800s. Which means the young man should approach the father to ask permission to "court" his daughter. Esp if she is young.

 

[smhbbag]

Courtship can have any of 100 definitions. There simply is no way to know what this guy means by it, other than by talking to him.

Usually it implies heavy familial involvement and permission from the beginning of the relationship, a clearly stated goal to work toward marriage from the beginning, fewer one-on-one outings for the couple, especially at the beginning, and strong restrictions on physical expressions of affection like hugging, hand-holding, or kissing.

That's a good general overview, but it's also as clear as mud. Some will even be missing some of those elements, and still use 'courtship' to describe their plans.

There are some real fruit loops on the fringes, and there are some very wise, scripturally principled positions among the 'courtship' crowd, too. There is just no way to know without asking.

 

[Kevin]

thanks guys. I have specific questions that I will not air here. However I need someone that knows the movement & its lingo to "translate" some comments for me in a way that I can understand in order to avoid giving offense.

thanks

 

[TimV]

I went through it with a woman I was interested in last year. You can PM me if you want. It can get a little bizarre in some forms, but in others it's healthy enough. Basically dating in groups, etc....

 

[Stargazer65]

I practice the concept of courtship as a father, although my daughters are not yet of marriageable age. I teach the concept to my sons although they are also not there yet.

Mostly it it just means a young man (who is mature enough to marry) seeks to win the heart of a young woman (who is able to marry), after receiving such permission of her father. Nothing new or mysterious there. Practicers of it would generally eschew recreational dating without a marriage goal. How it is done depends on the father. Feel free to PM me.

 

[J. Dean]

Courtship, nothin'. Mrs. J. Dean and I are thinking arranged marriages for our kids.

 

[LawrenceU]

Kevin, shoot me an email if you like.