Norway

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[quote:5c964f28cb][i:5c964f28cb]Originally posted by puritansailor[/i:5c964f28cb]
[quote:5c964f28cb][i:5c964f28cb]Originally posted by blhowes[/i:5c964f28cb]
Never been to Norway before. What's it like? Mostly rural or city? Flat or mountainous? ... [/quote:5c964f28cb]
Lot's o' mountains and valleys. [/quote:5c964f28cb]

Don't forget the winding fjords!:)
 
And the chicks are scary tall.

How is this a pilgrim's progress thread???:puzzled:

[Edited on 3-19-2004 by twogunfighter]
 
[quote:5021930819][i:5021930819]Originally posted by twogunfighter[/i:5021930819]
How is this a pilgrim's progress thread???:puzzled:
[/quote:5021930819]
If you knew anything about Norwegians you'd know how much we have progressed!!! :biggrin:
UFFDA....
 
[quote:1eb09b1b87][i:1eb09b1b87]Originally posted by puritansailor[/i:1eb09b1b87]
[quote:1eb09b1b87][i:1eb09b1b87]Originally posted by twogunfighter[/i:1eb09b1b87]
How is this a pilgrim's progress thread???:puzzled:
[/quote:1eb09b1b87]
If you knew anything about Norwegians you'd know how much we have progressed!!! :biggrin:
UFFDA.... [/quote:1eb09b1b87]
To illustrate this point :)


One day, Ole told Lena that when he died he wanted to be buried at sea. And thus, after Olle died Lena granted him his wish. But sadly, Lena died trying to dig Ole's grave...

A pilot was having trouble maintaing the stability of his plane. So he turned to the co-pilot and asked him what the trouble was. The co-pilot said that there were a bunch of norwegians on board causing a ruckus. So the pilot asked him to calm them down. The co-pilot left and came back, and suddenly the plane was calm. The pilot said "How did you take care of all those norwegians?"
"Oh, it was easy" said the co-pilot. "I just opened the hatch and told them there was free lutefisk in the basement!"

Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them the train entered a long, dark tunnel.
"Have yew eaten your banana yet?" asked Ole, excitedly.
"Vell, no! replied Lars.
"Vell don't touch it den!!" Ole exclaimed. "I Just took vun bite and vent blind!!"

Ole and Trina were sitting down to there usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets"
Ole got up from his coffee and mutters, "what a pain!"
Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their coffee and the weather forecast is: "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets."
Ole got up from his coffee and says " Again? O.K."
Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is: "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He says to Trina "Oh, what am I going to do now?"
Trina replies "Aw Ole, yust leave the car in the garage!"

Two groups of men are fishing the same lake, a group of Germans and a group of Norwegians. They're all casting away like mad, but while the Germans are catching lots of fish, the Norwegians aren't catching anything at all. So one of the Norwegians tells one of his friends to go over to the German group and see what it is that they're doing to catch all these fish. So off the guy goes, and pretty soon he comes back to the Norwegian group. When asked what the Germans were doing, he said, "Well, it looks like the first thing they do is cut a hole in the ice....."

Sven was leaning against the fence watching the morning turn into afternoon, when this Irish guy walks by with a wheelbarrow full of manure. Sven asked him "Vat are you gonna do vit dat?"
The Irishman replied, "I'm going to put it on my strawberries."
Sven smiled and said, "Ve Norvegians put sugar on ours."

Ole and Lena got marrried. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther if you vant to." So Ole drove to Duluth.

When the Norwegian accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, "I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents."

Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. "Vell," said the other one, "At dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more."

Two Norwegians were hunting ducks with no success. One turned to the other and says, "Do ya suppose we aren't trowing da dog high enough?

A Norwegian woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The French woman came in first, the English woman second. The Norwegian woman reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink those other two girls used their arms."

The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."

Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN."

Ole walked into Sven's hardware store and Ole said, "I need to buy some boards there, Sven."
"How long you want 'em, Ole," asked Sven?
Ole answered, "Long time. I'm building a house, ya know."

So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the freeway, he calls up Lena and he says, "Oh, Lena, I'm calling you from the freeway on my new car phone."
And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is driving the wrong way on the freeway."
And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them!"

Lena and Ole were married a long time, 45 years I tink. One day poor Ole died. Lena tinks she should put a notice in da paper so she goes down to talk to da person in charge of da classifieds. He asks her what she wants to put in da paper. "Yust put, Poor Ole Died", she says.
Da person in charge says, "Look I know you and Ole was married a long time, is that all you want to say"?
"Well", says Lena, "the first tree words are free and dat's all I can afford".
"I'll give you the first 6 words for free," says the man.
"Ok", says Lena, "please put, Poor Ole died. Boat for sale".

Ole calls the doctor up. "Hurry, I tink Lena's in labor!" The doctor asks, "Is this her first baby?" Ole says, "No this is her husband."

Sven & Ole were working in a factory and were talking on their coffee break.
"I tink I'll take some time off from da vork." says Sven.
"How do you tink you'll do dat?" asks Ole.
Sven proceeds to show Ole...he climbs up to the rafters, and hangs upside down. The boss walks in, sees Sven hanging from the ceiling, and asks him what on earth he is doing? "I'm da light bulb" answers Sven.
"I think you need some time off," says the boss.
So, Sven jumps down and walks out of the factory.
Ole starts walking out too.
The boss asks Ole "where do you think your going?
Ole answers, "Home, I can't vork in the dark".

Sven: "Ole, stand in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working."
Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No...."

One day, Sven and Ole were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Ole, said, "Look up ahead Sven it's a Police roadblock Ve are gonna get busted for drinkin' deese beers!" "Don't worry Ole, " Sven said. "Ve'll chust pull over and finish drinkin' deese beers, peel off da label and stick it on our foreheads, den throw da bottles under da seat." "What for?" asked Ole. "Chust let me do the talkin', okay?" said Sven. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Have you boys been drinking?" "No sir, " said Sven, "ve're on da patch."

Breaking News:
In an apparent copycat terrorist act, terrorists Sven and Ole Binladenstrom have hijacked a Goodyear blimp. So far, they have bounced off 5 buildings.
 
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