One Tough Dude

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Marrow Man

Drunk with Powder
I ran across this list on the Internet. I had to clean it up a bit (hope nothing is left to offend anyone), but I thought it was pretty funny:

Some random facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris once ate an entire watermelon, including the seeds, then grew an entire watermelon patch in his stomach which fed eleven families for six weeks.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck killed that man.

If you were to know Chuck Norris' true name, your mind would collapse upon itself.

A freak accident involving Chuck Norris and a severe thunderstorm turned an ordinary Total Gym (R) into Richard Dean Anderson, star of TV series "MacGyver". Scholars around the world maintain that this is the only known case of irony that is both situational and dramatic.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris is unable to send his roundhouse kicks across the fabric of time, however he IS able to perform this action across parallel dimentions and once, just for fun, roundhouse kicked himself.

Don't say anything bad about Chuck Norris if you're near a lake, river, pond or marsh; otherwise he will come up out of the water with his AK-47 already firing.

When Neil Armstrong uttered "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." on the moon in 1969, he failed to notice Chuck Norris sitting behind him in a lawn chair, a beer in hand, until Chuck Norris gave Armstrong a swift roundhouse kick to the face. Armstrong never returned.

There is a secret plot to clone the greatest Hollywood action movie stars in order to create an unbeatable army. The people behind this plot only need very small samples of DNA to work with. This is why so many action stars have very short haircuts, and some even go to the extent of shaving their heads to prevent the evil fiends from getting such a sample. Chuck Norris is the only one brave enough not only to grow his hair long, but also to cultivate facial hair. When he's feeling particularly cocky, he sends his toenail clippings to the evil syndicate's headquarters with a note: "Just try it, I dare you."

Now all we need is for someone to compile a similar list about etexas. Theo?
 
The Chuck Norris joke craze hit like 3-4 years ago.

We've moved onto Vin Diesel. What a real man.
 
Q: Who would win if Chuck Norris and Mr. Rogers got into a fight?

A: etexas.

I know, lame, but I'm not very good at that type of comedy.
 
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