Organizations that Fight Fatherlessness

Discussion in 'Family Forum' started by Hamalas, Apr 15, 2019.

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  1. Hamalas

    Hamalas whippersnapper

    Reading in WORLD magazine this morning, I was reminded of the depth and breadth of the fatherlessness crisis currently gripping our country. It made me wonder: what are some of the best organizations that a man (or church) could partner with to fight this? How can we practically and tangibly come alongside the fatherless, point them to Christ, and help them to have a chance in life?
  2. Pergamum

    Pergamum Ordinary Guy (TM)

    You could adopt. But I noticed you worded your post as "fatherlessness" rather than "parentlessness" and so I will focus on the blight of single motherhood in the West.

    Many children are in households with single mothers. This ruins societies. Single mothers have a harder time raising functional individuals that contribute to society.

    The problem might be worded as "fatherlessness" but many men WANT to be more involved in the lives of their children, but are barrred by the mothers and by the courts from taking an active role in the lives of their children. Women initiate about 70-75% of divorces and they typically "win" in court cases to get the children unless they are clearly proven to be deficient in some way.

    So if we fought feminism and gender equality, and defended traditional family and gender norms, then fatherlessness would decrease. We could also fight gov't incentives and welfare programs which subsidize single mothers and incentivize having children out of wedlock and marriage. We could fight no-fault divorce and challenge the prejudice of the courts with regards to father's rights. You could encourage evangelical churches to teach on sexual norms and not to treat single mothers as merely heroes, but also as the villains they often are. The MGTOW movement (men going their own way) is fueled, in large part, by the current awfulness of Western women and the court system which unjustly penalizes men if their marriages fail. Men are at a disadvantage as soon as they commit legally to a woman, and so many men are reacting with a distrust towards women in general.

    The West needs to stop their war on men. This book is very good:

    And this is a good article that describes the state of the West:

    Instead of big brother/big sister programs trying to step in and help where the traditional family has failed children, the better approach is to try to encourage a revival of the traditional Western family.

    You can google Ann Coulter's controversial appearance on Father Albert's show where she cites some uncomfortable-but-true stats about single motherhood.
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2019
  3. Hamalas

    Hamalas whippersnapper

    I'm fine to see fatherlessness/broken homes as a systemic social and political problem that's been inflamed by poor policies and destructive cultural ideas. No disagreement there. So part of the answer needs to be (as you suggest):

    1) fighting politically against destructive policies (i.e. no-fault divorce)
    2) challenging and changing the narrative about single-motherhood (not idolizing a dysfunctional institution)

    But I'm also looking for #3 - are there Christian organizations that enter into these situations on the ground? That might be through a Big Brother/Big Sister kind of approach, but I'm also wondering if there are organizations that help families that might break up stay together or encourage unwed fathers and mothers to tie the knot.

    This is such a massive problem (with such massive implications) that we need a multi-level approach. I'm curious to see what groups/ministries are fruitfully fighting on these various fronts.
  4. Hamalas

    Hamalas whippersnapper

    In addition to my other reply - here's a question: what political groups/organizations are tackling this issue helpfully from a policy perspective?
  5. ZackF

    ZackF Puritan Board Graduate

    Dovetailing on Perg, Fatherhood necessitates Fathers (or at least ‘father figures’) who necessitate men who necessitate males. With every one of those under attack directly or at the least infused with a myriad of confusing signals, it’s becomes hard for the most needy in the area to get help.

    I think Christians men can be of most help in their own immediate circles encouraging men, whether believers or not, to be active in their own children’s lives. This as Perg explained comes a great cost.

    I’ve had so many employees tangled up in a mess over these things.

    My most harrowing experience involved a young man fifteen years ago or so. He was an employee of mine who had fathered a child but struggled to see her and the custody/visitation process had left him emotionally and financially drained. Despite paying child support in multiple instances the mother failed to keep court appointed handoffs and visitations. This man reached a near breaking point when he was supposed to have his daughter on Christmas Day. The mother flagrantly ignored the visitation order. He called me in a mess. We talked awhile and I begged him not to ‘do anything stupid.’ I was terrified he was going lose it. Thankfully he cooled off and in the coming weeks the courts issued sterner warnings to the mother and things got better. This was in a small town in Kansas. I’m sure large cities where family courts are more driven by leftists ideologues would have been much worse.

    I’m actually on vacation but I got a call from an employee yesterday who was going to have to get a restraining order again her brother who assault her for testifying against him. Her/His grandparents are seeking custody from him. He is a drug addict (among other things) and has physically abused his children and one of the kid’s mothers is suicidal. I listened for twenty minutes while she related this nightmare situation.

    It’s cliche to say ‘there are no easy answers’ but there are obvious non-answers that people embrace while suppressing the difficult yet true answers in unrighteousness.
  6. jwithnell

    jwithnell Moderator Staff Member

    We try to be as welcoming as possible to our sons' friends who are being reared by their mothers. We hope our example is helpful. I'd not argue against what a Big Brothers organization might do, but a family gives the full context.
  7. Pergamum

    Pergamum Ordinary Guy (TM)

    Though not an organization that fights fatherless, here is a link that further demonstrats the dangers of fatherlessness:


    • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
    • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
    • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
    • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
    • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)
    Father Factor in Education – Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

    • Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
    • Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
    • Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
    • Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.
    • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.
    Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse – Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.

    • 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
    • 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)
    Father Factor in Incarceration – Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.

    Father Factor in Crime – A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency. Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk. A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent

    Father Factor in Child Abuse – Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.

    Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

    Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.

    • 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
    • 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
    • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
    • 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
    • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
    • 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]
    • 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]
    • 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
    • 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]
    • 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]
    • 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]
    • Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]
    Census Fatherhood Statistics
    • 64.3 million: Estimated number of fathers across the nation
    • 26.5 million: Number of fathers who are part of married-couple families with their own children under the age of 18.
      Among these fathers –

      • 22 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old (among married-couple family households only).
      • 2 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.
    • 2.5 million: Number of single fathers, up from 400,000 in 1970. Currently, among single parents living with their children, 18 percent are men.
      Among these fathers –

      • 8 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old.
      • 42 percent are divorced, 38 percent have never married, 16 percent are separated and 4 percent are widowed. (The percentages of those divorced and never married are not significantly different from one another.)
      • 16 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.
      • 27 percent have an annual family income of $50,000 or more.
    • 85 percent: Among the 30.2 million fathers living with children younger than 18, the percentage who lived with their biological children only.
      • 11 percent lived with step-children
      • 4 percent with adopted children
      • < 1 percent with foster children
      Recent policies encourage the development of programs designed to improve the economic status of low-income nonresident fathers and the financial and emotional support provided to their children. This brief provides ten key lessons from several important early responsible fatherhood initiatives that were developed and implemented during the 1990s and early 2000s. Formal evaluations of these earlier fatherhood efforts have been completed making this an opportune time to step back and assess what has been learned and how to build on the early programs’ successes and challenges.While the following statistics are formidable, the Responsible Fatherhood research literature generally supports the claim that a loving and nurturing father improves outcomes for children, families and communities.

    • Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
    • Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.
    • 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.
    • Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.
    • 43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.
    • Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.
    • Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabiting parents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home.
    • About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father’s home.
    • Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.
    • From 1995 to 2000, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportion of children living with two married parents remained stable.
  8. py3ak

    py3ak They're stalling and plotting against me Staff Member

    Some crisis pregnancy centers do quite a bit to encourage fathers to be committed and involved, for instance, by means of parenting classes.
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