PB Members: Pimp My Vestments

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BobVigneault

Bawberator
I saw this picture of the president meeting with some church leaders in Jerusalem.


It got me go to thinking: The folks on the PB are no less spiritual than these guys with their flat heads, ZZ Top beards and maximum bling-bling. We just need the right vestments to enhance, embellish and exculpate (sorry, I worked a bit too hard for that alliteration and may have strained something) our sense of spirituality.

Does anyone have any ideas for some vestments we could start wearing to let people know how special we are. Here is my vision for PB vestmental validity:

 

BobVigneault

Bawberator
Good ideas Josh. I'm a little concerned about all the pointy things sticking out given that we are such a huggy, touchy, feely bunch. I especially like the usher garb. If we let them take up the offering I bet we can triple our regular giving. :up:
 

Josiah

Puritan Board Senior
Does anyone have any ideas for some vestments we could start wearing to let people know how special we are. Here is my vision for PB vestmental validity:

[/QUOTE]

:lol: I think he is missing his Lightsaber.
 

DMcFadden

Puritanboard Commissioner
Maybe it's a little scary but to me it says,

"Drop one of the five points at your own peril!".
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

What? No limited atonement? I'll limit you!



I always prefer a more "spiritual" look in attire. The angel of the Lord clothing ensemble has the virtue of providing a fully customizable lance/spear. For only $25 they were willing to upgrade me to "cattle prod" functionality, allowing a 50,000 volt "wake up call" to sleepers in the congregation. I get a full ten thunderbolts per 2 hr. charge.
 

BobVigneault

Bawberator
Josh, you need to think these things through. You can't just throw some idea out there and not consider the consequences. Take a look at these two images and tell me honestly - do you really want to see senior pastors wearing the gladiator vestment?????

 

Mushroom

Puritan Board Doctor

The tree-topper kinda looks like a tulip... that would work! This one gets my vote. I'll propose it to my pastor this Sunday.
 

DMcFadden

Puritanboard Commissioner
What do you mean? Did you see those big guns of his? I didn't shove him at you....he manhandled his way through!
OK, Joshua, you win. Now we know what author you would like to own "the complete works of" . . . Joel Osteen. I'll make you a deal. You buy me a full set of John Owens and I'll reciprocate with your new favorite theologian. You know, the guy with the "big guns" and the 47,000 people.
 

DMcFadden

Puritanboard Commissioner
Hey! Cut that out! Really! Pleeeeeeease, take Osteen off my title line. Come-on, Super Mod, no fair. This is a drive by shooting. Ouch!

OK, OK, I will back off ever implying that your selection of a face for your ecclesiastical vestments might indicate a preference for that person.
 

Poimen

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
In case you don't know who he is, here's a hint: he is the highest authority of our sacred pastime.
 

Poimen

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
Well we are behind about 50 years from the styles you wear so go figure. I only have internet because I sneak across the border and surf the web at an internet cafe.

? Ron Paul you say? Did he defeat Eisenhower?
 

Herald

Administrator
Staff member
The following vestment would adorn the Baptist brethren. As you can see it is fully enclosed and will allow the Baptist brethren to be constantly immersed. There is a separate life support system attached.

 

BobVigneault

Bawberator
That's the perfect suit for Baptist's brother Bill cuz you can dance inside that thing and no one would ever know it.

Pastor Dan, I am lovin' the flowered ensemble. My dad (Canadian) used to love to wear bright red pants with a plaid sport coat and a yellow shirt. (He had massive biceps so he could get away with wearing any color shirt he wanted to.) He had an enormous circular bed with a half dome over it that housed a tv and stereo system and the entire thing was covered with orange plush fake fur. I'm as serious as a heart attack. (No he wasn't a pimp, he was a proud canadian.)

My wife thought he was eccentric until I brought her up to Quebec City and she got to see the same clothes on every one as well as the bright colored roof tops. Je Me Souviens!
 

DMcFadden

Puritanboard Commissioner
The following vestment would adorn the Baptist brethren. As you can see it is fully enclosed and will allow the Baptist brethren to be constantly immersed. There is a separate life support system attached.


Baptist, maybe, Pentecostal, no! There would be no way to get slain in the spirit in that get up.
 

a mere housewife

Not your cup of tea
This is hysterical. I can't remember when I've read anything so silly.

I adore the little candle holder looking thing on the top of the first guys helmet. The only improvement on that garb is if there really were a candle in there, and it were lit. Besides think of the spirituality of having everyone kneel while they are lit by the ushers. The ushers could snuff them out at the end of the service. It would be so mystical.

The cattle prod capability on the lance is great. Every Sunday School teacher should have one of those. (By the way if the clergy get to wear those candle holder helmets and the sort of spittoon clerical collar, I'm going to insist on the priesthood of all believers.)
 
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