Preparing for a surprise (baby)

[dog8food]

So my wife and I never would have guessed she'd be pregnant, but the Lord was ready.

This being our first child, you can imagine all the emotions we're experiencing. And so many questions.

Can someone recommend some good books or resources for first timers?

Thanks!

 

[Logan]

Congratulations!

Actually, Beeke's book Parenting by God's Promises is really good as a general parenting outlook, setting the tone for relying on God, the importance of prayer, and training children in a covenant household.

A more "practical" book that my wife really enjoyed (and my own mother used) Babywise and I can testify that the sleep training worked well on our three children and all were sleeping through the night at 3 months old.

Also, I feel like a broken record but I just can't recommend Gouge's "Of Domestical Duties" highly enough. RHB recently reprinted it as Building a Godly Home in three volumes. Volume 3 is the one on children.

 

[Contra_Mundum]

I will have to dissent from the "Babywise" recommendation. I don't want to say that Logan's family's experience was not what he says it was; nor that there could not be some useful material to be mined from it. But in my opinion, Ezzo belongs in the category of lunatic theoreticians. Ezzo.info: Ezzo Timeline - Ezzo.info

This book in its "Christian" iteration ("Growing Kids God's Way") was the source of untold physical and spiritual trauma. You have a self-appointed "expert" acquainted with some theories, to which he added his own theories plus some Bible verses. Combined with an authoritative tone, and you have a recipe for abuse.

I know (a friend of the family) one poor mother who accepted Ezzo's "doctrine" of schedule feeding for her firstborn. The poor child was not thriving, and nearly died. Mother was frantic, because she was doing all the "right" (i.e. "biblical" therefore "moral") things Ezzo told her in his book, she was "obeying" God. To question Ezzo's advice was to go against Scripture! She was finally delivered from the nightmare, got the right counsel to trust her maternal instincts, started treating her child like a baby, and made it.

BTW, as the website above relates, Ezzo was eventually excommunicated. Read with caution.

 

[PuritanCovenanter]

Ditto to what Reverend Buchanan stated above. I have seen horrendous things from those who followed the Ezzo's instructions.

Books by Lou Priolo or Tedd Tripp are very good. J. C. Ryle also has a number of books on the topic of raising children.

As far as baby books go we just relied upon family experience. I was blessed because I lived close to my Parents and Grandparents.

 

[Logan]

Thanks for posting those warnings, I don't doubt that there have been or can be abuses. My wife has a special interest in and is well-read on nursing, infant care, and midwifery and she certainly tries to sift through all the information for helpful advice, taking it with a grain of salt, and especially allowing for flexibility. It does remain her recommendation however.

Then again, I've not read it personally but trust my wife's judgment. Have either of you read it? I'd be happy to hear if there are any alternatives.

Edit:
Here's an old thread with some pro/con discussion.

 

[Brian R.]

Congratulations, Juan.

I'd surely agree with what's been recommended here- Beeke, Gouge, and Ryle are wonderful on this important subject. But I would also add, as a blessed father of six, don't try to read everything on child rearing. In my experience trying to read too many books actually brought about a bit of confusion and frustration. Just stick with a handful of trusted works, and then spend much time in prayer! Just my two cents...

 

[jwithnell]

A few good books, as mentioned above, and wisdom-soaked instincts will serve you well. If you haven't established family worship, now's the time to start. While not written from a Christian perspective, What to Expect When You're Expecting can be quite useful. It offers a lot of relaxed advice which will help balance the information that will bombard you regarding the million and one things that WILL go wrong with Mom and baby if you don't buy this or do that NOW.

 

[Andres]

My favorite book on the more practical side of things, especially discipline, is Gospel-Powered Parenting by: William Farley

 

[aadebayo]

As a father of 5 boys (2 of our boys were unplanned), we have had to rely on God's strength and mercy. We have received both in abundance. I am yet to read any book on parenting, though I have the Beeke book on my bookshelf

 

[oeco]

Books by Lou Priolo or Tedd Tripp are very good.

Congratulations! In agreement with Randy, I'm currently working through Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. It's fantastic. Some criticism on his chapter on discipline and maybe isn't to everyone's taste, but he's certainly coming at it from the right direction.

 

[JoannaV]

I've heard that Tripp's more recent book, Instructing a Child's Heart is better. Any PBers have thoughts on that?

 

[nicnap]

Actually, Beeke's book Parenting by God's Promises is really good as a general parenting outlook, setting the tone for relying on God, the importance of prayer, and training children in a covenant household.

I will have to dissent from the "Babywise" recommendation...But in my opinion, Ezzo belongs in the category of lunatic theoreticians. Ezzo.info: Ezzo Timeline - Ezzo.info

We read, but HIGHLY modified Babywise. There are some cases of parents taking things too far and doing serious harm to their children in the name of doing good for their children. If you read it, read it like you'd eat fish...keep the meat, and spit out the bones (and there are many.)

 

[oeco]

I've heard that Tripp's more recent book, Instructing a Child's Heart is better. Any PBers have thoughts on that?

Haven't come across this, we'll give it a look for sure, thanks. What've you heard Joanna?

 

[Mindaboo]

I had four surprise babies. I read "Babywise" with my oldest. It seemed logical, but I was 23 and didn't have any experience with being a mom. I did not use the method with my oldest two, but I did with my third child. I liked the idea of scheduled feedings, so I could try to function. She started sleeping through the night at eight weeks. When baby four came a year later, I did not use the method. My milk supply wasn't very strong, so I opted for nursing and demand feeding. I modified the schedule feeding and was not rigid with it. I think I primarily followed through with the trying to keep the baby awake for period during the day, bedtime and wakeup schedules.