Puritans Vs. Ninjas

Who would win? Puritans vs. Ninjas


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JohnGill

Puritan Board Senior
Puritans, why it's obvious

Quote attributed to Emperor Napoleon

I'd rather meet 5,000 soldiers well generaled and well vittled than one Calvinist who's convinced he's in the will of God.

Of course this doesn't deal with the issue of Calvinist ninjas. But Theognome can answer that issue.

 

Honor

de-cool
[video=youtube;ehQo7s_02sc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehQo7s_02sc[/video]


dude seriously... this guy is awesome!
 

Classical Presbyterian

Puritan Board Junior
As the musical Oklahoma teaches us all: "Oh the Ninja and the Puritan should be friends!" (or is that Annie Get Your Gun??)

Was Grymir suggesting that we recruit Teenage Mutant Ninja Puritans?
 

matthew11v25

Puritan Board Sophomore
It would be the funniest looking battle EVER!!! Fact of the matter is with Tom Cruise fighting for the Ninjas…they would be unstoppable!!! The mere awful sight of Cruise would drive the Puritans back onto the Mayflower
 

Skyler

Puritan Board Graduate
Puritans, so long as the AskANinja Ninja doesn't show up. If he does, they'll be too busy laughing to fight.
 

Hawaiian Puritan

Puritan Board Freshman
Ha, both are sissies.

Puritans wear wigs (powdered ones too!) and Ninjas wear their hair in a bun.....ah, how cute!
A highly reasoned argument Pergy. But the ninjas hide knives and things in their hair. I had to vote ninjas.
Oh,

It's a little noticed fact that in the famous portrait of Jonathan Edwards in his powdered wig, if you look closely enough, you can see a throwing stair tucked away behind his left ear. He also wrote a treatise on Bushido.
And don't forget his most famous sermon: "Samurai in the Hands of an Angry God."
 

tellville

Puritan Board Junior
Hawaiian Puritan said:
And don't forget his most famous sermon: \"Samurai in the Hands of an Angry God.\"
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Don't forgot the great hymn to the Ninja:

[video=youtube;GFLGRidfFo4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFLGRidfFo4[/video]
 

Theognome

Burrito Bill
Biblical Ninjas?

Here's a KJV Ninja story for ya-

The treacherous dealer(Is. 21:2)of death(2Cor.2:16)crept in(Jude 4)by stealth(2Sam,19:3)through the window(Josh.2:15). He was clothed(Rev.19:13)in vile raiment(Jas.2:2)that was(Gen.2:19)black as a raven(Song5:11)and he moved(2Sam.24:1)in silence(Ps.94:17)toward his(Lev.13:41)prey(Num.31:11). Slowly(Acts27:7), he reached(Ruth2:14)into his sack(Gen.42:25)and drew forth(1Ch.19:16)the morning star(Rev.2:28). The poison of asps(Job20:16)danced(Mt.14:6)on the edge of the(Jos.8:24)weapon in his hand(2Ch.23:10)while(De.19:6)the king slept(2Ki.14:22); blind to(Mt.15:31)the peril(La.5:9)that had come(Ex.18:8). Suddenly he(Mr.13:36)threw(Lu.9:42)the star(Am.5:26)at the king(2Sa.9:13), piercing(Heb.4:12)his neck(Gen.45:14). His work(Gen.2:2) finished, the(Ex.40:33)murderer(Hos.9:13)slipped away out of(1Sam.19:10)the room(Mt.2:22)and into the(Gen.12:5)darkness from(Job23:17)which he had(Gen.8:6)come(Nu.24:24).

Theognome
 

forgivenmuch

Puritan Board Freshman
Depends on the type of confrontation. The dishonorable ninja assasin would most likely just sneak in under cover of darkness and stab said puritan in the back. However, in a face to face confrontation the puritan would most likely just shoot the ninja down with out blinking and then go smoke a pipe read Scripture and have a beer.
I like this a lot, more specifically, the last sentence. :up:
 

Pergamum

Ordinary Guy (TM)
Unfortunately, the Ninja version of Ephesians tell us to watch out for the throwing stars of the Enemy rather than the fiery darts of the Devil. They believe in dynamic equivalence translations and ths their cause will fail.
 

Ezekiel3626

Puritan Board Freshman
Here's a KJV Ninja story for ya-

The treacherous dealer(Is. 21:2)of death(2Cor.2:16)crept in(Jude 4)by stealth(2Sam,19:3)through the window(Josh.2:15). He was clothed(Rev.19:13)in vile raiment(Jas.2:2)that was(Gen.2:19)black as a raven(Song5:11)and he moved(2Sam.24:1)in silence(Ps.94:17)toward his(Lev.13:41)prey(Num.31:11). Slowly(Acts27:7), he reached(Ruth2:14)into his sack(Gen.42:25)and drew forth(1Ch.19:16)the morning star(Rev.2:28). The poison of asps(Job20:16)danced(Mt.14:6)on the edge of the(Jos.8:24)weapon in his hand(2Ch.23:10)while(De.19:6)the king slept(2Ki.14:22); blind to(Mt.15:31)the peril(La.5:9)that had come(Ex.18:8). Suddenly he(Mr.13:36)threw(Lu.9:42)the star(Am.5:26)at the king(2Sa.9:13), piercing(Heb.4:12)his neck(Gen.45:14). His work(Gen.2:2) finished, the(Ex.40:33)murderer(Hos.9:13)slipped away out of(1Sam.19:10)the room(Mt.2:22)and into the(Gen.12:5)darkness from(Job23:17)which he had(Gen.8:6)come(Nu.24:24).

Theognome
Clever, very clever !
 

apaleífo̱

Puritan Board Freshman
But just as Puritanism can transcend culture so can the sacred art of the Ninja.

So the point still stands: What if the Ninja's were members of "the Korean American Presbyterian Church?" :D
Puritanism doesn't transcend culture, it creates culture. And, since Ninja's are the result of a Shintoist culture, the ninjas in the church you describe would, through faithful necessity, beat their throwing stars into plowshares and become Puritans. So, once again, the Ninja's lose and Puritanism wins!

So there.

Theognome

The Puritans, too, were children of their culture. And ninjas did their fair share of culture-shaping.

And now millions of women in the mslms world even follow Ninja fashion sense and dress in black from head to toe...



Ninjas - not only culture-makers, but fashionistas too!
Hmm...I would have to say that in that department, the Puritans triumph there, too. Who can honestly beat good, comely Puritan garb (certainly is an improvement compared with those dresses they wore during the Restoration!)? I often think that modern fashion would be much more interesting if it took some serious tips from the seventeenth century...
 

Skyler

Puritan Board Graduate
It's hard to fight in a powdered wig.
Powdered wigs make an excellent diversion in the case of an emergency. Simply spin it very fast, generating a large cloud of white powder to cover your escape.

Now you know why I left the Strongs on the computer desk. Thanks for cleaning up after me.

Theognome
You should use eSword, Theognome. Then you don't have to drag out the Strongs. :)

But once you master it, you get to look really cool. Ninjas don't have that.
you don't know that... they could have a powdered wing underneath the black ninja outfit.
Typically, I think, they wear their wigs on top of the ninja outfit. Cf. the "Ninjas & Pirates" episode on the Ask-A-Ninja website.
 

charliejunfan

Puritan Board Senior
Puritan's would make the ninjas cry simply because they were so much more sophisticated and intelectual. The ninjas would just be like, why am I still wearing a bed cloth for clothes, these puritan people are all fancily dressed.
 

DouglasT

Puritan Board Freshman
Do Calvinist Ninja throwing stars have 5 points?

-----Added 3/11/2009 at 07:15:45 EST-----

Do Calvinist Ninja throwing stars have 5 points
 

JohnGill

Puritan Board Senior
Do Calvinist Ninja throwing stars have 5 points?

-----Added 3/11/2009 at 07:15:45 EST-----

Do Calvinist Ninja throwing stars have 5 points
No, 6 points. You forgot the 6th point - The Burning of Heretics.



From A Puritan's Mind.
 
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