Puritans Vs. Ninjas

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Humor' started by tellville, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. Puritans would own anything

  2. Ninjas would own anything

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  1. JohnGill

    JohnGill Puritan Board Senior

    Puritans, why it's obvious

    Quote attributed to Emperor Napoleon

    I'd rather meet 5,000 soldiers well generaled and well vittled than one Calvinist who's convinced he's in the will of God.

    Of course this doesn't deal with the issue of Calvinist ninjas. But Theognome can answer that issue.

  2. Brother John

    Brother John Puritan Board Sophomore

  3. kvanlaan

    kvanlaan Puritan Board Doctor

    You know, Diamond Dave said not to ninja nothin that didn't need ninja-in'.

    You may need ninja-in'.
  4. Honor

    Honor de-cool


    dude seriously... this guy is awesome!
  5. Classical Presbyterian

    Classical Presbyterian Puritan Board Junior

    As the musical Oklahoma teaches us all: "Oh the Ninja and the Puritan should be friends!" (or is that Annie Get Your Gun??)

    Was Grymir suggesting that we recruit Teenage Mutant Ninja Puritans?
  6. LawrenceU

    LawrenceU Puritan Board Doctor

  7. PresbyDane

    PresbyDane Puritanboard Doctor

  8. matthew11v25

    matthew11v25 Puritan Board Sophomore

    It would be the funniest looking battle EVER!!! Fact of the matter is with Tom Cruise fighting for the Ninjas…they would be unstoppable!!! The mere awful sight of Cruise would drive the Puritans back onto the Mayflower
  9. New Englander

    New Englander Puritan Board Freshman

    I had a long class tonight and this just made it all better!
  10. Skyler

    Skyler Puritan Board Graduate

    Puritans, so long as the AskANinja Ninja doesn't show up. If he does, they'll be too busy laughing to fight.
  11. Hawaiian Puritan

    Hawaiian Puritan Puritan Board Freshman

    And don't forget his most famous sermon: "Samurai in the Hands of an Angry God."
  12. tellville

    tellville Puritan Board Junior


    Don't forgot the great hymn to the Ninja:

  13. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Biblical Ninjas?

    Here's a KJV Ninja story for ya-

    The treacherous dealer(Is. 21:2)of death(2Cor.2:16)crept in(Jude 4)by stealth(2Sam,19:3)through the window(Josh.2:15). He was clothed(Rev.19:13)in vile raiment(Jas.2:2)that was(Gen.2:19)black as a raven(Song5:11)and he moved(2Sam.24:1)in silence(Ps.94:17)toward his(Lev.13:41)prey(Num.31:11). Slowly(Acts27:7), he reached(Ruth2:14)into his sack(Gen.42:25)and drew forth(1Ch.19:16)the morning star(Rev.2:28). The poison of asps(Job20:16)danced(Mt.14:6)on the edge of the(Jos.8:24)weapon in his hand(2Ch.23:10)while(De.19:6)the king slept(2Ki.14:22); blind to(Mt.15:31)the peril(La.5:9)that had come(Ex.18:8). Suddenly he(Mr.13:36)threw(Lu.9:42)the star(Am.5:26)at the king(2Sa.9:13), piercing(Heb.4:12)his neck(Gen.45:14). His work(Gen.2:2) finished, the(Ex.40:33)murderer(Hos.9:13)slipped away out of(1Sam.19:10)the room(Mt.2:22)and into the(Gen.12:5)darkness from(Job23:17)which he had(Gen.8:6)come(Nu.24:24).

  14. Knoxienne

    Knoxienne Puritan Board Graduate

    Your KJV Ninja story was very clever and creative, Honey!

  15. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Now you know why I left the Strongs on the computer desk. Thanks for cleaning up after me.

  16. forgivenmuch

    forgivenmuch Puritan Board Freshman

    I like this a lot, more specifically, the last sentence. :up:
  17. Pergamum

    Pergamum Ordinary Guy (TM)

    Unfortunately, the Ninja version of Ephesians tell us to watch out for the throwing stars of the Enemy rather than the fiery darts of the Devil. They believe in dynamic equivalence translations and ths their cause will fail.
  18. Ezekiel3626

    Ezekiel3626 Puritan Board Freshman

    Clever, very clever !
  19. tellville

    tellville Puritan Board Junior

    Ninja Dance.
  20. apaleífo̱

    apaleífo̱ Puritan Board Freshman

    Hmm...I would have to say that in that department, the Puritans triumph there, too. Who can honestly beat good, comely Puritan garb (certainly is an improvement compared with those dresses they wore during the Restoration!)? I often think that modern fashion would be much more interesting if it took some serious tips from the seventeenth century...
  21. Pergamum

    Pergamum Ordinary Guy (TM)

    It's hard to fight in a powdered wig.
  22. Athaleyah

    Athaleyah Puritan Board Sophomore

    But once you master it, you get to look really cool. Ninjas don't have that.
  23. Backwoods Presbyterian

    Backwoods Presbyterian Puritanboard Amanuensis

    John Knox was/is the toughest human being who ever lived...
  24. Honor

    Honor de-cool

    you don't know that... they could have a powdered wing underneath the black ninja outfit.
  25. Skyler

    Skyler Puritan Board Graduate

    Powdered wigs make an excellent diversion in the case of an emergency. Simply spin it very fast, generating a large cloud of white powder to cover your escape.

    You should use eSword, Theognome. Then you don't have to drag out the Strongs. :)

    Typically, I think, they wear their wigs on top of the ninja outfit. Cf. the "Ninjas & Pirates" episode on the Ask-A-Ninja website.
  26. charliejunfan

    charliejunfan Puritan Board Senior

    Puritan's would make the ninjas cry simply because they were so much more sophisticated and intelectual. The ninjas would just be like, why am I still wearing a bed cloth for clothes, these puritan people are all fancily dressed.
  27. DouglasT

    DouglasT Puritan Board Freshman

    Do Calvinist Ninja throwing stars have 5 points?

    -----Added 3/11/2009 at 07:15:45 EST-----

    Do Calvinist Ninja throwing stars have 5 points
  28. JohnGill

    JohnGill Puritan Board Senior

    No, 6 points. You forgot the 6th point - The Burning of Heretics.


    From A Puritan's Mind.
  29. Annalissa

    Annalissa Puritan Board Freshman


    Have to go with ninjas, although a Puritan ninja would be a stellar combo. :think:
  30. forgivenmuch

    forgivenmuch Puritan Board Freshman

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