Question for the Christian Women on Christian "Romance Books"

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Backwoods Presbyterian

Backwoods Presbyterian

Puritanboard Amanuensis
My wife before she became a Christian was a ravenous reader of Romance novels and has quite the large collection. I have been counseling her away from these books for their anti-Christian themes and such. Well today she bought some Christian Romance novels by a lady named Tracie Peterson.

I was wondering if any of you knew who she was and what you think of her if you know her.

(The guys can answer as well)...
 
I've never heard of her. I don't like romance books. (okay, okay, maybe Pride and Prejudice and Little Women, but that's about it).

Looking online quickly, I came across this statement from an interview with her: "If I can claim it as an accomplishment, it would be my 3 kids. They are awesome, and even with all their issues and problems, they are the very heart of me. I’m also thrilled to write books that spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What a wonder to be able to share the Lord with people, and see lives changed." Also, "Write what you know. Learn what you don’t know, and never give up on the dream. I add to that to seek prayerfully the direction that God would have you go, and then head that direction."

If she practices what she says, then maybe these books are better than most.

However, I find that these kinds of books allow Christian women to vicariously relive the emotional high that comes from falling in love without actually finding someone new to fall in love with. It promotes envy and lust by producing a longing for a storybook romance that no husband can ever live up to.

Just my :2cents:. I have many friends who read them. I'm just not a fan!
 
Kim is very sensible.

I read a couple as a teenager. I started reading one aloud to my sisters, dissolved into humiliated giggles about twelve times in the first three pages, and decided never to read them again. Take this (actual) plot from a Lori Wick novel: the young woman is trapped in a barn with a man during a storm and so they are forced to marry for reputations' sake. (I'm dissolving into embarrassed giggles already) The rest of the book is a 'Christian' exploitation of sexual tension between them (Christian because they're already married, so it's okay!), basically, with a few witnessing scenes thrown in for evangelistic purposes. No doubt some are better than others, but this is run of the mill.

Once again, my dog --an atheist, no less-- has taken pen in paw and made a debut in this arena. The plot: the girl is forced to marry about four men because they either spoke to her, stood on her, got trapped in a barn with her, or thought she spoke to them, etc.
 
:D

Good comments. This reminds me of a church we attended. If a guy spoke to the girls too much he was considered to be making a move on them. Our poor son had no idea that the girls, and their mothers, were talking about him... Perhaps they were reading too many "Christian" romance novels...

I too have discouraged my wife from reading these. She needs to focus on HER walk in Christ, not some fantasy of what she begins to wish MY character and physique lined up with.
 
I checked out Tracie Peterson online too and read some excerpts from her book and from what I saw there isn't much there to worry about. What I have found in Christian romance novels is that they usually center around the founding of the US or some other historical events and the story line usually deals more with the hardships faced in life during those times. For the most part they center around a couple trying to determine the Lord's will for their lives, and once in a while you have the love triangle. The major difference would be these books don't have adulterous themes, although they do have a lot of rebellious women in them. Generally the women rebel against their fathers.

I used to read a lot of romance novels and watch all of the soap operas, until the Lord convicted me of my sinful behavior. I started reading the Christian romance novels to appease the desire to read romance books. Do these books cause her to sin? Are they a stumbling block to her? If she is reading them and then looking to you to live up to the standard of the men in the books, then maybe you should approach her again and ask her to stop reading them.

I have stopped reading these books altogether. I have found as I mature in the Lord I see these things as a stumbling block to me personally. A friend told me years ago I suffered from "Cinderella Syndrome". She was right and for me I needed to put the books away. I do know many godly women who do read them and still live in reality. I guess it just depends on the heart of the woman.
 
Joe, I have heard from several women that the books have had a serious influence on giving them unrealistic expectations of men --to the point where it has caused marital problems, or problems being able to be in a relationship with and maintain an admiration for a 'real' man. Basically these heroes are created by women: they are, without those who admire them realizing it, very effeminate men --always knowing exactly what to say to a woman, and how, and always focused on her etc., despite being so rugged, silent, and dreamily 'manly'. Real men don't exist as they do in a woman's mind. And some girls I know have never been able to accept this after reading the romance novels --they find the real men inadequate, too authoritarian, too 'gushy' when they are in love, too unsure of themselves once they trust you. They are always comparing a real person against an idea of a man made up by another woman, and finding the masculinity that is the real complement to femininity, made by God, to come up short. It's more than very sad.
 
These stories remind me of one that a cousin told me about. She doesn't like romance novels either, but she saw one lying around at a friend's house and picked it up.

Storyline: A Christian girl is being romantically pursued by a Christian man, but so far they have not acted on their feelings. While walking on a path in the woods together, a snake crosses their path. The girl is so frightened that she leaps into the man's arms and they begin passionately kissing.

That's where my cousin stopped reading.

Such junk! :barfy:
 
Mindaboo said:
I checked out Tracie Peterson online too and read some excerpts from her book and from what I saw there isn't much there to worry about. What I have found in Christian romance novels is that they usually center around the founding of the US or some other historical events and the story line usually deals more with the hardships faced in life during those times. For the most part they center around a couple trying to determine the Lord's will for their lives, and once in a while you have the love triangle. The major difference would be these books don't have adulterous themes, although they do have a lot of rebellious women in them. Generally the women rebel against their fathers.

I used to read a lot of romance novels and watch all of the soap operas, until the Lord convicted me of my sinful behavior. I started reading the Christian romance novels to appease the desire to read romance books. Do these books cause her to sin? Are they a stumbling block to her? If she is reading them and then looking to you to live up to the standard of the men in the books, then maybe you should approach her again and ask her to stop reading them.

I have stopped reading these books altogether. I have found as I mature in the Lord I see these things as a stumbling block to me personally. A friend told me years ago I suffered from "Cinderella Syndrome". She was right and for me I needed to put the books away. I do know many godly women who do read them and still live in reality. I guess it just depends on the heart of the woman.
Click to expand...

I do not think they cause her to "sin" in the manner of causing her to have unrealistic expectations of me. Thankfully some Godly women have taken her under their wing and have been counseling her since she has no positive influence (in a Christian manner) from her own mother.

I am hoping that she moves in the way you did. She stopped watching the Soaps a while ago and now only has the Romance Novels (Nora Roberts, Stephanie Laurens, etc...).

Thanks all
 
My wife reads the period pieces, the historical novels and some romance. Her complaint is that living with me has given her unrealistic expectations for what a romance novel should be.












Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
 
Warning!

It is probably a good idea to keep our wives away from romance novels.

Our wives must be kept from finding out about Bawb at all costs!
 
No, please don't compliment my dog. Even though he is (hopefully) dead now, I live in fear of his ego which almost destroyed us all. He actually caused a church split in our microdenomination and drove away our ruling elder (one of our three communicant members), and incited me to burn Ruben's apostate meeting place, thus leaving us homeless. It's a long story.
 
We need more Christian romance novels about men who, in their early thirties, begin to grow hair in their ears and on their backs and teaches his sons the "pull my finger" game and also teaches them the "Beans, beans, good for your heart" song. I.e. all the yucky things that men do needs to be in that book so that wives, after reading these books, come and squeeze their husbands and think they are normal.

Or, even better.....Publish more accounts of drunk, alcoholic wife abusing husbands who spend their children's inheritance on blackjack. Woohooooo....we can look REAL good in comparison to these romances. Having my boy pull my finger is no big deal then and any male pattern baldness still makes me seem like a studmufin if they read romance novels of real losers and the women who love them.
 
Pergamum said:
We need more Christian romance novels about men who, in their early thirties, begin to grow hair in their ears and on their backs and teaches his sons the "pull my finger" game and also teaches them the "Beans, beans, good for your heart" song. I.e. all the yucky things that men do needs to be in that book so that wives, after reading these books, come and squeeze their husbands and think they are normal.

Or, even better.....Publish more accounts of drunk, alcoholic wife abusing husbands who spend their children's inheritance on blackjack. Woohooooo....we can look REAL good in comparison to these romances. Having my boy pull my finger is no big deal then and any male pattern baldness still makes me seem like a studmufin if they read romance novels of real losers and the women who love them.
Click to expand...

It took until your early 30's to get hair on your back and lose your hair? :lol:

I guess some of us are just advanced... :eek:
 
What!? You think I'm talking about MYSELF!

[feigns shock and surprise while my son sings about beans being the musical fruit in the background]
 
a mere housewife said:
Joe, I have heard from several women that the books have had a serious influence on giving them unrealistic expectations of men --to the point where it has caused marital problems, or problems being able to be in a relationship with and maintain an admiration for a 'real' man. Basically these heroes are created by women: they are, without those who admire them realizing it, very effeminate men --always knowing exactly what to say to a woman, and how, and always focused on her etc., despite being so rugged, silent, and dreamily 'manly'. Real men don't exist as they do in a woman's mind. And some girls I know have never been able to accept this after reading the romance novels --they find the real men inadequate, too authoritarian, too 'gushy' when they are in love, too unsure of themselves once they trust you. They are always comparing a real person against an idea of a man made up by another woman, and finding the masculinity that is the real complement to femininity, made by God, to come up short. It's more than very sad.
Click to expand...

It sounds as if "Christian" romance novels do for women what internet **** does for men--create unrealistic expectations, offer an alternative to a real relationship.
 
Leslie said:
a mere housewife said:
Joe, I have heard from several women that the books have had a serious influence on giving them unrealistic expectations of men --to the point where it has caused marital problems, or problems being able to be in a relationship with and maintain an admiration for a 'real' man. Basically these heroes are created by women: they are, without those who admire them realizing it, very effeminate men --always knowing exactly what to say to a woman, and how, and always focused on her etc., despite being so rugged, silent, and dreamily 'manly'. Real men don't exist as they do in a woman's mind. And some girls I know have never been able to accept this after reading the romance novels --they find the real men inadequate, too authoritarian, too 'gushy' when they are in love, too unsure of themselves once they trust you. They are always comparing a real person against an idea of a man made up by another woman, and finding the masculinity that is the real complement to femininity, made by God, to come up short. It's more than very sad.
Click to expand...

It sounds as if "Christian" romance novels do for women what internet **** does for men--create unrealistic expectations, offer an alternative to a real relationship.
Click to expand...
VERY good point, actually I have heard this charge leveled against the Romance genre, I do think there is more than a grain of truth to it: fantasy/fictional "relationship" by proxy driven by unrealistic expectations.:2cents:
 
etexas said:
Leslie said:
a mere housewife said:
Joe, I have heard from several women that the books have had a serious influence on giving them unrealistic expectations of men --to the point where it has caused marital problems, or problems being able to be in a relationship with and maintain an admiration for a 'real' man. Basically these heroes are created by women: they are, without those who admire them realizing it, very effeminate men --always knowing exactly what to say to a woman, and how, and always focused on her etc., despite being so rugged, silent, and dreamily 'manly'. Real men don't exist as they do in a woman's mind. And some girls I know have never been able to accept this after reading the romance novels --they find the real men inadequate, too authoritarian, too 'gushy' when they are in love, too unsure of themselves once they trust you. They are always comparing a real person against an idea of a man made up by another woman, and finding the masculinity that is the real complement to femininity, made by God, to come up short. It's more than very sad.
Click to expand...

It sounds as if "Christian" romance novels do for women what internet **** does for men--create unrealistic expectations, offer an alternative to a real relationship.
Click to expand...
VERY good point, actually I have heard this charge leveled against the Romance genre, I do think there is more than a grain of truth to it: fantasy/fictional "relationship" by proxy driven by unrealistic expectations.:2cents:
Click to expand...


Unrealistic expectations.... hence the need for Bob the Plumber suburban romance novels. Back hair, flatulence, male pattern balding and a triple house mortgage......They fall in love, fall out of love and fall into duty and child-rearing and then stick it out for the next 40 years until they both drop over dead watching Matlock.
 
Pergamum, I sense a backup career for you as an author of inspirational novels.

I think describing Romance novels as emotional p0rnography (even in the cases where they aren't physical p0rnography) is accurate enough. They are motivated by prurience. Slapping the label "Christian" on it and making your point through suggestion and inference instead of through plain description doesn't really change anything.

For the record, Jane Austen's novels are not romance novels. They are not motivated by prurience, and she was far too "subtle, and firm" a moralist to write tendentious claptrap.
 
Ruben: How is the craze in modern "courtship stories" or "testimonies" then not claptrap too? Most tell of romance and not lust and physical details are not involved. Is it different because one is fiction and the other is an account of a real person's courtship.
 
I gave up "christian" romance novels when I was still a young in the Lord and a teenager. I read several and found the plots were all about about the same with different settings.

I would agree that the romance novels set up false expectations for relationships. This is especially bad when teenage girls and young women read these thinking that this is what life will be like. The romance novels rarely tell you what happens down the road. If they do, it's not realistic.

Having said that, I don't have a problem with a novel that has romance mixed into the plot. That is more like real life. Sometime down the road, I plan to write an historical novel or two and have already outlined the plots. There will be some romance in them, but only as it fits into whatever else is happening in the story. In other words, when romance is incidental to the rest of the story, and it doesn't falcify reality, I don't have problem with it.
 
py3ak said:
Pergamum, I sense a backup career for you as an author of inspirational novels.

I think describing Romance novels as emotional p0rnography (even in the cases where they aren't physical p0rnography) is accurate enough. They are motivated by prurience. Slapping the label "Christian" on it and making your point through suggestion and inference instead of through plain description doesn't really change anything.

For the record, Jane Austen's novels are not romance novels. They are not motivated by prurience, and she was far too "subtle, and firm" a moralist to write tendentious claptrap.
Click to expand...

Book one of Bob the Plumber: Suburban Romance will be in Barnes and Noble soon. In the first installment, "When hot and spicy romance has turned lukewarm like the old leftover chili mac" Bob and Greta wonder why they go days and their only topic of conversation is the mortgage and the fact that Bob jr. is teething.
 
Pergamum said:
py3ak said:
Pergamum, I sense a backup career for you as an author of inspirational novels.

I think describing Romance novels as emotional p0rnography (even in the cases where they aren't physical p0rnography) is accurate enough. They are motivated by prurience. Slapping the label "Christian" on it and making your point through suggestion and inference instead of through plain description doesn't really change anything.

For the record, Jane Austen's novels are not romance novels. They are not motivated by prurience, and she was far too "subtle, and firm" a moralist to write tendentious claptrap.
Click to expand...

Book one of Bob the Plumber: Suburban Romance will be in Barnes and Noble soon. In the first installment, "When hot and spicy romance has turned lukewarm like the old leftover chili mac" Bob and Greta wonder why they go days and their only topic of conversation is the mortgage and the fact that Bob jr. is teething.
Click to expand...
Perg. wrote chili mac!:lol: Perg! You rule!:):):):):)
 
Books like the House of Winslow series are pretty good. I like the historical fiction books; people get married, have kids, do stupid stuff and admit they were wrong and it's all in an interesting historical context. Some call these books Christian romance, but that's not entirely accurate.

On the other hand most of what I've seen classified as Christian romance does set up a man on a pedastal that breathing men can never attain to.

I have a used to be friend who is now almost 40 and she is still looking for the perfect man, one who is spiritually mature, blah blah blah. We used to tease her in college that she'd be 40 and still looking for the perfect man. She has a check list that he has to meet to her standards. I pity the man who marries her, if that ever happens. Whether one has unrealistic expectations from romance novels, Christian or not; or unrealistic expectations from marriage and courtship books it's the same result--disaster. If one tempers fiction with reality; then it's possible to read CR without harm, but not advisable. It's better to wean yourself off than go cold turkey. I would still advise a good solid dose of reality with a practical, older Christian woman. One who can be blunt and talk about how men fan the covers after letting one just to make the wife yell; and in some bizarre way it's funny and that's ok. Our husbands want us to yell, so they can laugh like a nut.(I'm not making this up, I know of 3 who do this:eek:)
 
My wife has her day books and her going to bed books. The day books are meaty tomes that challenge and grow the mind but read slow because of her daily mom duties. He bed books are lite and not so challenging, just something to get the day's events out of her head and bring on sleep.

Knowing her tastes I put a lot of research into what is good writing and here are some recommendations from the top of the trade of good historical fiction writing with a hint of romance.

Nancy Moser has written 3 books based on historical women that are well written and entertaining.

Mozart's Sister (Ladies of History Series #1)

Just Jane (Ladies of History Series #2)

Washington's Lady (Ladies of History Series #3)

The most loved series is by Liz Curtis Higgs and is a retelling of the story of Jacob but placed in a Scottish setting.

In order they are:

Thorn in My Heart (Lowlands of Scotland Series #1)

Fair is the Rose (Lowlands of Scotland Series #2)

Whence Came a Prince (Lowlands of Scotland Series #3)

Grace in Thine Eyes (Lowlands of Scotland Series #4)

Judging by the reviews and the 'oohs' and 'ahhhs' of my wife and daughter I would give these high marks.
 
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