De Jager
Puritan Board Junior
Hi PBers,
I was hoping that you could help minister to my soul. There are times when I am sure I am not truly a Christian. I have expressed these sentiments before but they keep arising. It seems to be a constant battle. If I could describe my situation, I was hoping that perhaps you could show me some scriptures that could help minister to my heart. When I am in these pits of anxiety, I cannot think straight and I need others. During these times, I cannot think rational thoughts I get stuck in a rut wherein my heart is consumed by anxious thoughts (i.e. "you're not saved") and no matter how much I seem to pray it doesn't make the anxiety go away. This leads me to believe that God isn't hearing my prayer and that I am not His.
I want desperately to believe that God has started a good work in me, which he will complete. My desires at this point in my life (I'm 30) include things that I did not desire 10 years ago. I love Christian fellowship, and talking about the Bible. 10 years ago, I was more concerned with having a good time and had essentially no true Christian friends. I do try to live a Holy life, although I fail so often. Sometimes I still recognize in myself desires to do evil. I suppose this is the flesh rearing its head.
I have no hope for salvation other than through Jesus Christ. My works are not sufficient to save. They are full of selfish desires, and desires to self-preserve. Sometimes I fear that even my prayers to God for mercy are full of self-love rather than contrition. I feel as if I am a wretch in every way - like I cannot produce even one good thing, like even my prayers are an abomination to God. The idea that God is angry with me produces real anxiety in my heart. I know of God's sovereignty in salvation - I know that if I am to be saved He must do it, he must work. I know that to be saved is to receive God's righteousness through faith in Jesus Christ. When I think of this, I can only think that I must not have this faith. And since faith is a gift of God, and I cannot conjure it up, I feel stuck. You may say, why don't you ask God for faith, for as a good father, he will not neglect to give such a good gift! Then my anxieties will creep in and say "yes, but God isn't your father - for Him to be your father, you would have to have faith!! - You're sunk".
Please help!
I was hoping that you could help minister to my soul. There are times when I am sure I am not truly a Christian. I have expressed these sentiments before but they keep arising. It seems to be a constant battle. If I could describe my situation, I was hoping that perhaps you could show me some scriptures that could help minister to my heart. When I am in these pits of anxiety, I cannot think straight and I need others. During these times, I cannot think rational thoughts I get stuck in a rut wherein my heart is consumed by anxious thoughts (i.e. "you're not saved") and no matter how much I seem to pray it doesn't make the anxiety go away. This leads me to believe that God isn't hearing my prayer and that I am not His.
I want desperately to believe that God has started a good work in me, which he will complete. My desires at this point in my life (I'm 30) include things that I did not desire 10 years ago. I love Christian fellowship, and talking about the Bible. 10 years ago, I was more concerned with having a good time and had essentially no true Christian friends. I do try to live a Holy life, although I fail so often. Sometimes I still recognize in myself desires to do evil. I suppose this is the flesh rearing its head.
I have no hope for salvation other than through Jesus Christ. My works are not sufficient to save. They are full of selfish desires, and desires to self-preserve. Sometimes I fear that even my prayers to God for mercy are full of self-love rather than contrition. I feel as if I am a wretch in every way - like I cannot produce even one good thing, like even my prayers are an abomination to God. The idea that God is angry with me produces real anxiety in my heart. I know of God's sovereignty in salvation - I know that if I am to be saved He must do it, he must work. I know that to be saved is to receive God's righteousness through faith in Jesus Christ. When I think of this, I can only think that I must not have this faith. And since faith is a gift of God, and I cannot conjure it up, I feel stuck. You may say, why don't you ask God for faith, for as a good father, he will not neglect to give such a good gift! Then my anxieties will creep in and say "yes, but God isn't your father - for Him to be your father, you would have to have faith!! - You're sunk".
Please help!