Ridiculously specific doctrinal question about my church

[au5t1n]

Hey all, this Sunday my church is having a membership class (first one since I started attending) and I will be attending the class so I can join. There will be a time for questions about the church, and my pastor told me on the phone yesterday that he expects at least one really good question from me. So...

I was thinking of coming up with some ridiculously specific how-many-angels-on-the-head-of-a-pin kind of question, just to mess with him. Maybe some stupidly specific question about his eschatology or something like that. Any funny suggestions for something I could ask?

(Don't worry, I will ask the serious questions too).

 

[westminken]

Ask him about the Van Til-Clark controversy that Dr. Oliphint wanted us to know for AP 101.. He will know exactly what I am talking about. Maybe a better one is where did he really find the rooster.

 

[au5t1n]

Ask him about the Van Til-Clark controversy that Dr. Oliphint wanted us to know for AP 101.. He will know exactly what I am talking about. Maybe a better one is where did he really find the rooster.

Aaron found a rooster?

Oh, and thanks! I should have known to ask someone who knows him.

 

[larryjf]

Ask him ...

"If Codex Bezae has the original text at Lk 6:5, then is keeping the Sabbath only required of those who are convinced of it?"

Here is the text from the codex...

The same day, He saw a certain man working on the sabbath and said to him: Man, if you know what you are doing, you are blessed. But, if you do not know, you are accursed, and a trespasser of the law

 

[Sonoftheday]

Just straight face ask him if he is Pretrib rapture, midtrib rapture, or Posttrib rapture. This happened recently to me (by a dispensationalist), I found it hilarious because it denied any possibility of a Christian holding to anything other than Dispensational premil. If he's a dispensationalist I guess this question wouldnt be funny though.

 

[au5t1n]

Just straight face ask him if he is Pretrib rapture, midtrib rapture, or Posttrib rapture. This happened recently to me (by a dispensationalist), I found it hilarious because it denied any possibility of a Christian holding to anything other than Dispensational premil. If he's a dispensationalist I guess this question wouldnt be funny though.

No, he's not dispensationalist. I don't think Dispensationalists are even allowed to be ordained in the PCA. In fact, I'm pretty much 100%. They examine ministerial candidates pretty hardcore on doctrine...I love it.

-----Added 9/25/2009 at 09:38:06 EST-----

Thanks for the question, that would be a good one.

 

[Semper Fidelis]

A really good question.

Was Paul speaking of his life as a believer or unbeliever in Romans 7 and how does the believer do battle with indwelling Sin?

 

[Berean]

This poor guy has no idea what he's walking into, the trap he's laid for himself.

 

[au5t1n]

This poor guy has no idea what he's walking into, the trap he's laid for himself.

I told him on the phone he shouldn't have said that he expected a good question from me. I said I would drill him in detail on his eschatology, etc. lol

 

[Edward]

I don't think Dispensationalists are even allowed to be ordained in the PCA. In fact, I'm pretty much 100%. They examine ministerial candidates pretty hardcore on doctrine...I love it.

You DO have a lot to learn about the PCA.

 

[au5t1n]

I don't think Dispensationalists are even allowed to be ordained in the PCA. In fact, I'm pretty much 100%. They examine ministerial candidates pretty hardcore on doctrine...I love it.

You DO have a lot to learn about the PCA.

Seems like that would be a long list of exceptions. But I know Aaron's not dispensational, even if the denomination is not consistent on upholding covenant theology across the board. He was raised bapticostal, and had quite an experience turning away from all that in college.

-----Added 9/25/2009 at 09:58:35 EST-----

Bear in mind that I'm comparing the PCA to my arminian southern baptist background, not to other Presbyterian denominations. The ministerial examination at my old SBC church consisted of "Brother, have you done got borned again?" jk jk My pastor now was asked MUCH more detailed questions than that.

 

[Jake]

Ask about the triclavianist debate!

 

[au5t1n]

Ask about the triclavianist debate!

Good one!

-----Added 9/25/2009 at 10:05:24 EST-----

My apologies to the reformed southern baptists on this board. I know it is a diverse denomination. But I reserve the right to make fun of my background in the SBC.

 

[Caroline]

Any funny suggestions for something I could ask?

Well, the first thing I asked my pastor was whether he really believes in God. I wasn't trying to be funny, but I did get the feeling that people don't ask him that a lot.

 

[au5t1n]

Any funny suggestions for something I could ask?

Well, the first thing I asked my pastor was whether he really believes in God. I wasn't trying to be funny, but I did get the feeling that people don't ask him that a lot.

Interesting. Didn't you wonder why he was up there preaching on Sundays? haha. But now that I think about it, I have heard of an "atheist pastor" in Scotland, not to mention Bishop Spong, who said monotheism was outdated.

 

[Caroline]

Any funny suggestions for something I could ask?

Well, the first thing I asked my pastor was whether he really believes in God. I wasn't trying to be funny, but I did get the feeling that people don't ask him that a lot.

Interesting. Didn't you wonder why he was up there preaching on Sundays? haha. But now that I think about it, I have heard of an "atheist pastor" in Scotland, not to mention Bishop Spong, who said monotheism was outdated.

Well, my some of my previous pastors were too often in habit of engaging in gross sins (stealing from the church, committing adultery, etc). I always suspected that they didn't really believe in God. I mean, how could someone believe in God and still do those things with no remorse or fear? I thought it would be helpful to find a pastor who believes in God because then he'd probably have more hesitation about that sort of thing.

 

[au5t1n]

Well, the first thing I asked my pastor was whether he really believes in God. I wasn't trying to be funny, but I did get the feeling that people don't ask him that a lot.

Interesting. Didn't you wonder why he was up there preaching on Sundays? haha. But now that I think about it, I have heard of an "atheist pastor" in Scotland, not to mention Bishop Spong, who said monotheism was outdated.

Well, my some of my previous pastors were too often in habit of engaging in gross sins (stealing from the church, committing adultery, etc). I always suspected that they didn't really believe in God. I mean, how could someone believe in God and still do those things with no remorse or fear? I thought it would be helpful to find a pastor who believes in God because then he'd probably have more hesitation about that sort of thing.

Gotcha. That makes sense. Although I imagine you would have trouble getting an honest answer out of one of them.

 

[Edward]

I don't think Dispensationalists are even allowed to be ordained in the PCA. In fact, I'm pretty much 100%. They examine ministerial candidates pretty hardcore on doctrine...I love it.

You DO have a lot to learn about the PCA.

Seems like that would be a long list of exceptions. But I know Aaron's not dispensational, even if the denomination is not consistent on upholding covenant theology across the board. He was raised bapticostal, and had quite an experience turning away from all that in college.

-----Added 9/25/2009 at 09:58:35 EST-----

Bear in mind that I'm comparing the PCA to my arminian southern baptist background, not to other Presbyterian denominations. The ministerial examination at my old SBC church consisted of "Brother, have you done got borned again?" jk jk My pastor now was asked MUCH more detailed questions than that.

Based on results, it appears that some Presbyteries might be more diligent in their examinations, and others more generous in their allowances. I'm not making any reference to South Texas presbytery here.

 

[Nathan Riese]

Just straight face ask him if he is Pretrib rapture, midtrib rapture, or Posttrib rapture. This happened recently to me (by a dispensationalist), I found it hilarious because it denied any possibility of a Christian holding to anything other than Dispensational premil. If he's a dispensationalist I guess this question wouldnt be funny though.

Oh my goodness this happens to me all the time!

I go to a Dispensational school though, so, when I answer back with "ACTually....i'm...i'm...i'm amil, please don't burn me at the stake!" to which they say, "what's that?"

But yeah, i suggest asking him what he suggested, just straight up ask him those three options, it makes a good laugh to those who hold amil or postmil beliefs.

 

[toddpedlar]

Ask him if he can explain what extracalvinisticum is...

 

[Caroline]

Interesting. Didn't you wonder why he was up there preaching on Sundays? haha. But now that I think about it, I have heard of an "atheist pastor" in Scotland, not to mention Bishop Spong, who said monotheism was outdated.

Well, my some of my previous pastors were too often in habit of engaging in gross sins (stealing from the church, committing adultery, etc). I always suspected that they didn't really believe in God. I mean, how could someone believe in God and still do those things with no remorse or fear? I thought it would be helpful to find a pastor who believes in God because then he'd probably have more hesitation about that sort of thing.

Gotcha. That makes sense. Although I imagine you would have trouble getting an honest answer out of one of them.

True. But it's surprising what you can learn sometimes by asking.

But one that might be funny woud be to ask, "Can cats go to heaven?" It might help to sell it if you look really angst-ridden, too, as though your beloved Fluffy just died this morning.

 

[au5t1n]

Edward, that makes sense to me. I shouldn't have suggested that the PCA is uniform when it comes to ministerial requirements. It is about 100x the doctrinal accountability of my last church, but I know it's somewhat, shall we say, "broad" as far as Reformed denominations go, although not compared to the PCUSA or even the EPC. Am I on the right track here?

Mr. Pedlar,
I had to google that. VERY interesting.

-----Added 9/25/2009 at 11:55:52 EST-----

Well, my some of my previous pastors were too often in habit of engaging in gross sins (stealing from the church, committing adultery, etc). I always suspected that they didn't really believe in God. I mean, how could someone believe in God and still do those things with no remorse or fear? I thought it would be helpful to find a pastor who believes in God because then he'd probably have more hesitation about that sort of thing.

Gotcha. That makes sense. Although I imagine you would have trouble getting an honest answer out of one of them.

True. But it's surprising what you can learn sometimes by asking.

But one that might be funny woud be to ask, "Can cats go to heaven?" It might help to sell it if you look really angst-ridden, too, as though your beloved Fluffy just died this morning.

Thanks, I think I will!

 

[Confessor]

Ask him which Anabaptist heresy is the worst.

 

[au5t1n]

Ask him which Anabaptist heresy is the worst.

That one really takes the cake, especially since my credo roommate will be there!

 

[Confessor]

 

[Contra Marcion]

Honestly - I had one such wiseacre in a Sunday school class I was teaching (on 1 Samuel), and I asked "Are there any questions?". One hand went up....The question? "Who wrote Hebrews?" I was at a loss.....completely unprepared for that one!

 

[N. Eshelman]

Ask him if the PCA and the OPC are going to merge in the next 5 years, and then say that you were under the impression that they were and it is a pre-requistite for you joining.

 

[Blue Tick]

Ask him if he's asked Jesus into his heart? If he hasn't lead him in the sinners prayer... Begin with... Pastor repeat after me...


Ask him if he thinks Nicolae Carpathia is the Anti-Christ.


Ask him if you can lead an altar call prayer after the class.

 

[ewenlin]

ask him if he's asked Jesus into his heart? If he hasn't lead him in the sinners prayer... Begin with... Pastor repeat after me...


Ask him if he thinks nicolae carpathia is the anti-Christ.


Ask him if you can lead an altar call prayer after the class.

do this!!!

 

[Athaleyah]

Ask him the spiritual significance of each of the ineffective things that Samson told Delilah that he could be bound with: undried bow strings, new ropes, and the "lobes" of his hair.