Sexual Purity Resources?

Ryan&Amber2013

Puritan Board Junior
I want to buy some books for when my children enter their teenage years and start to face sexual temptations, in order that I may better help them stay pure and innocent. Are you familiar with any good theological and practical books that help children in this area? I'm really looking for something that points to good reasons for remaining pure, that will encourage our kids to see the vanity of sexual sin. I really want them to hate it and overcome the temptation easily, I'll just have to equip them properly when the time comes.

Thanks!
 

jw

Administrator
Homeschool them. Teach them the commandments, and do not shrink from teaching the 7th, and all its implications, and how gross violations of it do not merely bring judgment, but are indication that a people is already under judgment (Ezekiel 16). Know their friends and companions. Better yet, approve or disapprove who their companions will be. Pray fervently, regularly, for and with your children.

All that said, there is no fail proof crank to turn to ensure that they will hate this sin (or any other) or desire purity. That is the work of the LORD. We exhaust his appointed means, and trust His work. Neither are you able to procure the easiness/difficulty which any particular child will have with any particular temptation. It will be a case by case basis, and even then vary from age to age. One resource you may consider is Jacobus Koelman’s “Duties of Parents,”


You may appreciate these sermons on the Christian family’s duty to have “uncommon” children:

 

dhh712

Puritan Board Freshman
Will pray for you and your wife, Ryan. I can only imagine the constant worry that comes with bringing a child up in the world--the worldly influences are so overwhelming. It brings me much joy to see the children in our church, teens and younger, embrace the gospel and call Jesus Lord despite the powerful sway and insidious lies of the evil one.

I've not come from a Bible-believing family so it was all too easy for me to rationalize "Why wait? What's the point of it?" My mom just expected that since she came from that background and understood you were "supposed" to wait that automatically her children would have that mindset (!). Those "golden" 1950s when "everyone" waited till marriage. My mom actually did have that perfect childhood so that was all she knew.

May the Lord bless your efforts and call your children into the Kingdom of God.
 

Stephen L Smith

Moderator
Staff member
I want to buy some books for when my children enter their teenage years and start to face sexual temptations, in order that I may better help them stay pure and innocent.

Homeschool them. Teach them the commandments, and do not shrink from teaching the 7th, and all its implications, and how gross violations of it do not merely bring judgment, but are indication that a people is already under judgment (Ezekiel 16).
Ryan, Josh has given some excellent advice. I will just expand slightly on Josh's advice and say that as part of teaching the 10 commandments, make sure they are part of a Reformed church that proclaims the moral law as part of its liturgy. This is an important compliment to home education. Ensure that the moral law is deeply impressed on the conscience. Carefully consider Lord's Day 34 in the Heidelberg Catechism.
 

Ed Walsh

Puritan Board Senior
I want to buy some books for when my children enter their teenage years and start to face sexual temptations, in order that I may better help them stay pure and innocent.

Greetings,

Here's a thought to keep in mind.

Like Paul once said, "I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment," as food for thought. Depending on the level of Spiritual and emotional maturity of your children, you might consider encouraging them to marry earlier rather than later, which is the norm in our culture. Delaying marriage can be a source of tremendous temptation.

I did not get married until I was 21, and for a good reason. I was only six months old as a Cristian when I was married, so I think getting married before I knew the lord would have been stupid and possibly disastrous. But in an imaginary world where my wife and I were brought up as Christians, I have often thought that 18 would have been the right age to marry.

As a way of expressing how much my wife and I love each other, I often tell people that my only regret in my marriage is that I did not get married sooner. I add that I robbed the cradle since my wife is 31 days younger than I. :)

Ed
 

Jack K

Puritan Board Professor
As a book for teens, I'm partial to Alive by the folks at Harvest USA. It's a well-rounded and biblical approach to sexuality that flows from joy in Jesus, not from a list of don'ts. But depending on how old your kids are, that book may feel dated by the time they're ready for it. It may be too soon to recommend a resource for their teen years, and at that point the best resource may not be a traditional book at all. Who knows?

Also, the best resource of all is going to be your example in being personally devoted to purity (for example, what movies you will watch is likely to have a greater effect on your kids than any book you might give them) and teaching them about sexuality. And daily Bible reading in your home is the very best book they might encounter. In it, they will find many examples of sexuality gone right and wrong, all in the context of God's love for his people and the ups and downs of the covenant community. Read the Bible to them (and to yourself) daily, not skipping the sexual parts, and you will have exposed them to the most helpful resource of all.
 

83r17h

Puritan Board Freshman
I've found for myself that reflecting on Proverbs 1-9 is extremely beneficial. Perhaps leading them in memorizing those chapters would be helpful. Sexual purity is one of the main themes within those chapters (really comes to the fore in chapters 5-7).
 

Ryan&Amber2013

Puritan Board Junior
Thank you all for this great advice. I don't want to sound morbid, but part of my thinking is that I want my children to be set up for spiritual success even if the Lord calls me home before they reach those older years. You probably wonder why I even think like that because I'm in my prime, but I have seen in my life that death is no respecter of age. I have these sad thoughts from time to time, wondering about the character and spiritual life my children will have in the event that I die when they are young. I want to be the one to lead them in purity, to pour my life and wisdom in theirs, to lead them in the Bible daily, etc., but I know I have no control over when my time is up, so I try to plan as much as I can for their good. I keep a diary for them, and I keep a book filled with wisdom I have learned over the years. That's part of the reason why I wanted to put some good books on the shelf regarding this topic.

I never had good spiritual or moral influences as a child, and I never want my children to go through that.
 

Miss Marple

Puritan Board Junior
I want to buy some books for when my children enter their teenage years and start to face sexual temptations, in order that I may better help them stay pure and innocent. Are you familiar with any good theological and practical books that help children in this area? I'm really looking for something that points to good reasons for remaining pure, that will encourage our kids to see the vanity of sexual sin. I really want them to hate it and overcome the temptation easily, I'll just have to equip them properly when the time comes.

Thanks!
May I recommend you have them read Song of Solomon and encourage them positively that sex within God's design is a huge blessing and a positive force? Something to be enjoyed?

I hate to see our kids become anti-sex in their desire to live contra mundum.

Sexual desire should be channeled into making yourself into the best possible spouse in hopes of a great future marriage, in my opinion. In short give them a positive outlook. Also do give them permission not to be so interested if they are not. One needn't assume intense desire in every person.
 
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