My little sister thinks I should read " why I am not a Calvinist" and she is also reading Open Theology now( God does not foreknow our free will choices) and thinks maybe God didn't know Adam and Eve would eat the fruit.
An old and dear friend I have know since 9th grade-we both got saved in college in 1973- has been going to prophecy conferences for maybe 3 years now. Some of these prophets are getting "visited by Abraham, Issac, Joseph, Jeremiah, etc." I kid you not. They are tall and regal looking and emanate light, and when I tried to explain why it is a deceiving evil spirit I got nowhere.
A local pastor-former old friend of hub who graduated from WTS and loves JM Boice and Jonathan Edwards- allowed the women in his church (Calvinist constitution) to pick a babe for the womens retreat who is into a charismatic nutjob named Paul Cox. He teaches that the maturity in Hebrews about having your senses trained is about the physical senses, and they see and smell and taste and hear and touch the holy spirit and evil spirits. This babe pulls demons out of people and throws the holy spirit on them. The pastor friend said I had a fear of bad doctrine when I expressed deep concern.
A gal in my church has a friend who has been in solid Reformed teaching all her life...getting into EO and got her daughter cruzimated ( whatever that is).
It is everywhere. I feel your pain. It is so hard. It can take a long time to get over these breaks in fellowship.
My advice is not to pursue, let them initiate. Can two walk together unless they are agreed? If they initiate, well then, be as loving as you can, talk about the Lord and his word, and don't try to bring up the debates. But if they do, be honest. I think you will find that they soon will no longer be interested in your friendship. It is sad but the Lord will provide for you elsewhere. There are few things harder in life than this subject if you ask me.
You might like reading Iain Murray's Evangelicalism Divided, when the ecumenical movement of the 50s-60s shacked up with Liberals and Roman Catholics to the point of denial of the most basic doctrines (the atonement and resurrection, justification by faith, etc). Men like Martyn Lloyd-Jones stood virtually alone (and accused) while the masses slid into deception. That book really helped me process my own grief and frustrations.
