So you want to know about Presbyterians?
- Thread starter john_Mark
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Dude! What is this?!?!?!?!?!!!
Why do all the Presbyterian's love a congregationalist so much and hate Baptists? Owen had great respect for the Presbyterian's but he wasn't one. He wasn't a Baptist either. Maybe that is why we all love him.
Ianterrell
Puritan Board Sophomore
My friend Sean made this website. I'm so proud of him. And proud to be Presbyterian.
[Edited on 14-12-2004 by Ianterrell]
[Edited on 14-12-2004 by Ianterrell]
That site is only REALLY funny when you go here first:
http://www.realultimatepower.net/index3.htm
And Randy, it's a joke.
http://www.realultimatepower.net/index3.htm
And Randy, it's a joke.
alwaysreforming
Puritan Board Sophomore
Fred,
You are right. You absolutely have to go to the Ninja site first! It puts the whole thing in context.
TOTALLY HILARIOUS!
(I want to do one of these sites!)
You are right. You absolutely have to go to the Ninja site first! It puts the whole thing in context.
TOTALLY HILARIOUS!
(I want to do one of these sites!)
Yes! Hurrah! Hurrah for the Presbyterian!
(The following found on a Catholic website - sung to the tune of the Major General's song from the Pirates of Penzance)
Scene: a horde of heretics have descended on a cloud of converts, and are halted only by the approach of...well, you'll just have to imagine the musical background yourself.
Heretics:
For he is a Presbyterian!
Converts:
He is! Hurrah for the Presbyterian!
Presbyterian:
And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a Presbyterian!
Converts:
It is! Hurrah for the Presbyterian! Hurrah for the Presbyterian!
Presbyterian:
I am the very model of a modern Presbyterian,
I've information venerable, ancient, and sectarian,
I know that some have tried to make me turn Episcopalian,
But I find their theology is altogether alien...
I'm very well acquainted too with matters theological,
I even try to tease out passages deemed paradoxical,
I may not cross the Baptists on some matters theoretical,
But I need not share their fear of all substances intoxical!
Converts and Heretics:
But I need not share their fear of all substances intoxical,
But I need not share their fear of all substances intoxical,
But I need not share their fear of all substances intoxi-toxical!
Presbyterian:
I'm very good at mixing terms and angering the Lutherans,
I qualified for blacklisting by Methodistic Wesleyans,
In short, in matters venerable, ancient, and sectarian,
I am the very model of a modern Presbyterian!
Converts and Heretics:
In short, in matters venerable, ancient, and sectarian,
He is the very model of a modern Presbyterian!
Presbyterian:
I know our Bible history, King David and Jehoshaphat,
I recognize the difference between Sinai and Ararat,
I know the implications of a Samsonific donkey bat,
And like the judges know the tools to use if enemies are fat...
I can tell undoubted manuscripts from forgeries and heresies,
I know the Levite chorus from Davidic psalmic melodies,
And I can prove conclusively the Bible's more than fairy tales,
And quote the lines and sing the songs from every single Veggietales!
Converts and Heretics:
And quote the lines and sing the songs from every single Veggietales,
And quote the lines and sing the songs from every single Veggietales,
And quote the lines and sing the songs from every single Veggie-Veggietales!
Presbyterian:
Then I can clarify the politics of the Assyrians,
And understand the dreams of all the sleepless Babylonians,
In short, in matters venerable, ancient, and sectarian,
I am the very model of a modern Presbyterian!
Converts and Heretics:
In short, in matters venerable, ancient, and sectarian,
He is the very model of a modern Presbyterian!
Presbyterian:
In fact, when I know what is meant by "total" and "depravity",
When I have sworn off risking an Ecclesiastic vanity,
When I can treat Westminster West with due respect and gravity,
And when I know precisely how Arminians risk fantasy...
When I use the five points as less a tactic than a strategy,
When I can pour contempt on reconstructionist theonomy,
In short, when I've a smattering of scriptural reality,
You'll say a better Presbyterian has never lived so free!
Converts and Heretics:
You'll say a better Presbyterian has never lived so free,
You'll say a better Presbyterian has never lived so free,
You'll say a better Presbyterian has never lived so - lived so free!
Presbyterian:
For my catechismic knowledge, since I'm not a seminarian,
Hits up against the limits of my presupposed invariance,
But still, in matters venerable, ancient, and sectarian,
I am the very model of a modern Presbyterian!
Converts and Heretics:
In short, in matters venerable, ancient, and sectarian
He is the very model of a modern Presbyterian!
VirginiaHuguenot
Puritanboard Librarian
I love the original song, but this is way better!!!
ConfederateTheocrat
Puritan Board Freshman
That is the funniest thing I have seen in years.
"Presbyterians are the ultimate paradox. They can drink wine at dinner, yet are extremely strict and conservative."
Absolutely great.
"Presbyterians are the ultimate paradox. They can drink wine at dinner, yet are extremely strict and conservative."
Absolutely great.
Davidius
Puritan Board Post-Graduate
Ack! I found this when doing searches through old threads and now the link is broken. Does anyone have a working version of this?
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