Suicide and "Went to be with the Lord"

[Pilgrim]

Recently I've seen a number of obituaries, death notices and have heard sermons confidently stating that a professing Christian who committed suicide "Went to be with the Lord." I find this troubling. This is often in the case of ministers who have committed suicide, but it is seen with the suicide of others as well.

I'll say at the outset that I do not take the Arminian or traditional Roman Catholic view that all suicides are damned. I'm not saying that it is an unpardonable sin. But I wonder if we are too confident to, in effect, preach them into heaven, especially if they are on "our team" theologically.

For the better part of two decades in Reformed circles (more or less) I've heard that the only person's salvation we can have true assurance of is our own. Yet today professing Christians who commit the sin of self-murder are confidently said to be in heaven by Calvinistic Christians who have continually denounced "cheap grace" and "easy believism." What is the basis for this?

I'll admit that my knee-jerk reaction to those who without hesitation assert that professing Christian people are in heaven is that they should apologize to those who they have denounced as purveyors of "cheap grace" and "easy believism" such as Charles Ryrie if not Zane Hodges. By taking this position, haven't they shown that they really believe the same thing, especially when it comes to their friends? (His teaching on discipleship and sanctification notwithstanding, contrary to popular opinion, Ryrie did teach that the believer must produce fruit, although he said that this may not be visible to anyone but God.)

I wonder if these assertions of suicides going to be with the Lord actually leads some to commit suicide by assuaging their conscience? How many in the past have decided against suicide because they feared they'd go to hell if they committed this sin?

Didn't some Puritans and Reformers teach that suicide is a sign of apostasy? I can't find anything offhand right now, however, besides the more recent resources here, (starting about halfway down the page) here, and here, which appear to me to be sounder approaches.

 

[Pergamum]

Isn't it their families who write the obituaries? Obits turn a lot of bad people into saints, after all. Why single out suicide.

I am not willing to say suicide is apostasy. It is a grievous momentary mistake, which they cannot correct.

 

[Ryan&Amber2013]

With suicide, there are so many variables to be taken into consideration, but I would personally rather err on the side of being graceful. But, suicide is a serious sin on many levels, not only effecting the one who kills him/herself, and most often is much deeper than a one-time act of self murder.

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

As Ryan has indicated, when such things happen we make a judgment of charity and judge the deceased person according to their best actions, not on the basis of their worst.

 

[Pilgrim]

Isn't it their families who write the obituaries? Obits turn a lot of bad people into saints, after all. Why single out suicide.

You are right about the families. But in the cases I have in mind it has been accompanied by confident pronouncements by ministers, and not ones of the "decisional regeneration" or "easy believism" variety.

 

[Pilgrim]

As Ryan has indicated, when such things happen we make a judgment of charity and judge the deceased person according to their best actions, not on the basis of their worst.

If we can't really be sure if someone else is a real Christian, (which is what I've heard ad infinitum for as long as I've been in Calvinistic circles) how can we be so confident in death, especially under these circumstances? I'm not referring to cases where a hope is expressed based on the profession of faith of the deceased or some statement about a merciful God doing what is right. I'm referring to cases where it is asserted that the deceased is in heaven without any qualification whatsoever.

 

[Bill The Baptist]

Recently I've seen a number of obituaries, death notices and have heard sermons confidently stating that a professing Christian who committed suicide "Went to be with the Lord." I find this troubling. This is often in the case of ministers who have committed suicide, but it is seen with the suicide of others as well.

I'll say at the outset that I do not take the Arminian or traditional Roman Catholic view that all suicides are damned. I'm not saying that it is an unpardonable sin. But I wonder if we are too confident to, in effect, preach them into heaven, especially if they are on "our team" theologically.

For the better part of two decades in Reformed circles (more or less) I've heard that the only person's salvation we can have true assurance of is our own. Yet today professing Christians who commit the sin of self-murder are confidently said to be in heaven by Calvinistic Christians who have continually denounced "cheap grace" and "easy believism." What is the basis for this?

I'll admit that my knee-jerk reaction to those who without hesitation assert that professing Christian people are in heaven is that they should apologize to those who they have denounced as purveyors of "cheap grace" and "easy believism" such as Charles Ryrie if not Zane Hodges. By taking this position, haven't they shown that they really believe the same thing, especially when it comes to their friends? (His teaching on discipleship and sanctification notwithstanding, contrary to popular opinion, Ryrie did teach that the believer must produce fruit, although he said that this may not be visible to anyone but God.)

I wonder if these assertions of suicides going to be with the Lord actually leads some to commit suicide by assuaging their conscience? How many in the past have decided against suicide because they feared they'd go to hell if they committed this sin?

Didn't some Puritans and Reformers teach that suicide is a sign of apostasy? I can't find anything offhand right now, however, besides the more recent resources here, (starting about halfway down the page) here, and here, which appear to me to be sounder approaches.

I would say this is true anytime someone who claimed to be a Christian passes away, and for that matter even those who never claimed to be such. I don’t think the manner of death makes much difference in people’s opinion of the final destination of their deceased loved one. As Edwards pointed out, “Every natural man who hears of hell flatters himself that he shall escape it.” Apparently this is true even in a vicarious sense.

 

[alexandermsmith]

We have no Scriptural warrant to believe that a true Christian profession and suicide are compatible. There are no examples of the godly committing suicide and indeed it is some of the worst individuals in Scripture who are recorded as having committed self-murder. That doesn't mean those who commit suicide should be "preached into Hell" but it certainly means that we cannot assume they are in Heaven. As regards such an individual he is in the hands of the Lord now and as regards those who remain it should be a very solemnising thing indeed when one who professed Christ commits such a sin.

 

[Goodcheer68]

We have no Scriptural warrant to believe that a true Christian profession and suicide are compatible.

Romans 8:31-39. Suicide is not the unpardonable sin.

 

[earl40]

Suicide is indeed a grievous sin and there is the passage that murderers will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. Of course that passage may pertain to those who practice such, and it is indeed impossible to practice such if one is dead. The tension is there, and I can see where in the history of the church the idea that suicide is unpardonable...not that I agree with that.

 

[alexandermsmith]

Romans 8:31-39. Suicide is not the unpardonable sin.

Did I say it was? Whether or not this is the "unpardonable sin" is not at issue in this dicusssion and bringing it up merely muddies the waters. Instead of trying to be more clever than Scripture let us keep to Scripture.

 

[alexandermsmith]

Suicide is indeed a grievous sin and there is the passage that murderers will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. Of course that passage may pertain to those who practice such, and it is indeed impossible to practice such if one is dead. The tension is there, and I can see where in the history of the church the idea that suicide is unpardonable...not that I agree with that.

The discussion around suicide as relates to this issue has not been whether it is, in itself, unpardonable but the inability to repent of it. And those who commit suicide are murderers.

 

[Jack K]

People are quick to assert that someone is "with the Lord" because it's a feel-good statement. Wise ministers should avoid making pronouncements one way or the other.

This even includes cases of suicide. A suicide is not a good sign, perhaps. But no sin is greater than God's grace, and we know that true believers do sometimes sin grievously—and who are we to be speculating about a man's heart, anyway? We certainly are not Catholics, believing that some sins automatically are "mortal sins."

 

[Chad Hutson]

There are no examples of the godly committing suicide and indeed it is some of the worst individuals in Scripture who are recorded as having committed self-murder.

Samson comes to mind, albeit different circumstances. Nevertheless, repentant Samson did kill himself.
Suicide is an awful, selfish act. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It rightfully has a stigma attached to it. But yet, there are sometimes complicated and convoluted issues behind some suicides, i.e. mental disorders, extreme grief, prolonged physical pain, and so on. Remember, the cancer-stricken chain smoker killed themselves as well. Overeating, overworking, or general disregard for one's health are just some examples of what we do to kill ourselves, although they are not overt, deliberate, immediate acts. It's a complicated subject that requires grace, tact, and absolute trust in an unfailing, good God who knows best.
Having dealt with this subject many times over the years (one dreadful Christmas Eve shotgun suicide in front of the kids' presents comes to mind), I will say unequivocally that no one has the right to put their family through such trauma nor sully the good name of God or His family.

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

Samson's case was not a suicide; it was an act of self-sacrifice in godly warfare against idolatry.

 

[greenbaggins]

Suicide is a very serious sin. There is no getting around this fact. Murder of self is a heinous offense against God, against self, and against our neighbors and family. However, we CANNOT hold to a theology that believes that one's eternal destiny hangs on the completely variable state of either the sin or righteousness a person was doing at the time of death. While no one has stated this (and I'm not assuming anyone believes it either), we must beware its subtle influence. Don't we believe that if a person comes to faith in Jesus Christ, then ALL their sins are forgiven: past, present, AND future? While we should never encourage anyone to see that fact as an excuse or justification for suicide, that fact should not scare us away from extending the benefit of the doubt to people in good standing in our churches who commit such a sin.

While suicide could be a sign of apostasy, I would disagree that it is a certain sign. I would need to see other corroborating signs of apostasy in someone before I would be at all confident in saying that such a person was not a Christian. After all, Christians sometimes also commit murder of someone else. If murdering someone else is not the unforgivable sin, then neither can suicide be so. At any rate, the pastoral implications of suicide are enormously important: how vital it is for the pastor to preach the gospel and call on all who hear to repentance.

 

[Chad Hutson]

Samson's case was not a suicide; it was an act of self-sacrifice in godly warfare against idolatry.

I agree with you, which is why I wrote "albeit different circumstances." Nevertheless, his conscious act led to his immediate death. That is within the definition of suicide. I am not an apologist for suicide by any means.

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

A few things need to be distinguished for the sake of clarity.

1. Someone who commits suicide can have no assurance of salvation, as suicide is such a heinous sin as to preclude the possibility of assurance on the part of one who commits it.

2. It is generally valid to presume that most of those who commit suicide are headed to a lost eternity. Both the biblical examples of those who committed suicide and the general principle that murderers will not inherit the kingdom of God support this presumption.

3. Despite this general principle, there are exceptions to the rule. Suicide is not recognised in scripture as the unpardonable sin, so we cannot dogmatically assert that a professing Christian who commits suicide is in hell. Even a true believer such as King David could fall into the sin of murder, but we do not judge the general course of David's life, which was lived as a man after God's own heart, on the basis of his worst actions.

4. Suicides do differ from the case of David somewhat in that the person who has committed suicide does not have the opportunity to express repentance. Still, it is not correct to say that dying before having expressly repented of a specific sin automatically means that the person is not saved. (The consequences of the opposite opinion would drive everyone to despair. See Lane's post above for more on this issue.) Moreover, we need to be wary of dogmatically asserting that the person did not repent. I have heard (albeit anecdotal) accounts of people who attempted suicide but repented in the midst of leaping to their deaths. In one case, the man survived hitting the water after jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. He said that he immediately became penitent right after jumping off the bridge.

5. There is a significant difference between someone killing themselves as a result of an inability to cope with the pain of severe melancholy, and someone killing themselves or someone else out of pure hatred for God and their fellow man. Both are heinous sins, but not all heinous sins are equally heinous.

 

[Ryan&Amber2013]

5. There is a significant difference between someone killing themselves as a result of an inability to cope with the pain of severe melancholy, and someone killing themselves or someone else out of pure hatred for God and their fellow man. Both are heinous sins, but not all heinous sins are equally heinous.

I think this is a really important point. Thanks!

 

[JH]

Agreeing greatly Rev. Keister, I just wanted to add to what he was saying about our justification. That the sins we commit are often impulsive ones, suicide is also an impulsive decision, just like many other presumptuous sins; it just so happens to be one that is irreversible.

Again once adding to the fact that once a person by justified by God, nothing can undo that. He has purchased us in the Covenant of Redemption, the Lamb slain for us before the foundation of the world, surely His blood is sufficient to cover even such an unfortunate sin as this.

 

[C. M. Sheffield]

One issue here, as I think about it, is this: We all know that the greatest saints may commit grievous sins. But in Scripture, whether it's Abraham, Moses, David, or Peter, they are given space for repentance. My Confession puts it this way,

The believer "may, through the temptation of Satan and of the world, the prevalency of corruption remaining in them, and the neglect of means of their preservation, fall into grievous sins, and for a time continue therein, whereby they incur God's displeasure and grieve his Holy Spirit, come to have their graces and comforts impaired, have their hearts hardened, and their consciences wounded, hurt and scandalize others, and bring temporal judgments upon themselves, yet shall they renew their repentance and be preserved through faith in Christ Jesus to the end."—Baptist Confession of Faith, XVII, 3.​

In the case of suicide, an individual ends their lives with no hope of "renewing their repentance." Instead they make a conscious choice to end their life by a heinously sinful act which admits of no space for repentance. Could they be saved? With all my heart I hope they are! But I believe there is more reason to doubt their interest in Christ than for it to be affirmed.

 

[bookslover]

Isn't it their families who write the obituaries? Obits turn a lot of bad people into saints, after all. Why single out suicide.

I am not willing to say suicide is apostasy. It is a grievous momentary mistake, which they cannot correct.

"A permanent solution to a temporary problem" - as the saying goes.

 

[bookslover]

We have no Scriptural warrant to believe that a true Christian profession and suicide are compatible. There are no examples of the godly committing suicide and indeed it is some of the worst individuals in Scripture who are recorded as having committed self-murder. That doesn't mean those who commit suicide should be "preached into Hell" but it certainly means that we cannot assume they are in Heaven. As regards such an individual he is in the hands of the Lord now and as regards those who remain it should be a very solemnising thing indeed when one who professed Christ commits such a sin.

I know of a man who was a sincere Christian who committed suicide about 15 years ago due to extremely agonizing cancer pain. He is in heaven now in the presence of his Lord because Jesus died even for the sin of suicide. Of course, even in His omniscience, God chose this person as a member of the elect knowing that he would kill himself. God's mercy to us is very gracious.

 

[Brian Withnell]

It would seem that we have a very narrow view of our sinfulness if we think we ever are without accompanying sin in all we do. Which of course means we have a very low view of the holiness, righteousness and purity of God. No matter how one dies, no matter where and when, are we even when doing what is good, doing what is absolutely pure and right? I am reminded of Romans 7; is not Paul's great distress over his sin that he sees it always before him?

If we ever speak of someone being in heaven, if we ever have any assurance of our own salvation, do we not do so despite our certain knowledge that nothing we do is pure in his sight? There are those we have certain knowledge of their salvation ... those whose faith and destiny are attested to by scripture.

While I have scriptural testimony that my first wife is saved, I have hope from her life and testimony of faith that she is in fact in heaven. That I hope that her destiny is heaven, I also know that what she deserves is hell ... as is true for all Adam's race save one. If one holds that any professing Christian can by a single unrepentant sin condemn themselves, then hold to all who die in the midst of sin (all of us, for we sin even in our best action) are bound to hell.

For me, I see as one of the most wonderful rewards of heaven is that I no longer have any sin ... that I have written upon my heart the law of God. If in this age we always sin ... if in our best acts we also like Paul can cry out:

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
(Rom 7:21-25 NIV)​

How then can we ever have assurance? Our assurance is not based in us or what we might do, but in Christ Jesus and what he has already completed. If a person is in good standing with the church at the time of his death, then we must presume that even in self-murder they are in Christ. This of course presumes that the church does her job, and continually cares for and nurtures her children, disciplines those that appear to be straying. But we presume the grace of God for all those within the church, knowing they are constantly doing that which is not pure in itself all the time. This is true of all we might say pass into glory; to do otherwise is to cheapen grace.

 

[Ryan&Amber2013]

One issue here, as I think about it, is this: We all know that the greatest saints may commit grievous sins. But in Scripture, whether it's Abraham, Moses, David, or Peter, they are given space for repentance. My Confession puts it this way,

The believer "may, through the temptation of Satan and of the world, the prevalency of corruption remaining in them, and the neglect of means of their preservation, fall into grievous sins, and for a time continue therein, whereby they incur God's displeasure and grieve his Holy Spirit, come to have their graces and comforts impaired, have their hearts hardened, and their consciences wounded, hurt and scandalize others, and bring temporal judgments upon themselves, yet shall they renew their repentance and be preserved through faith in Christ Jesus to the end."—Baptist Confession of Faith, XVII, 3.​

In the case of suicide, an individual ends their lives with no hope of "renewing their repentance." Instead they make a conscious choice to end their life by a heinously sinful act which admits of no space for repentance. Could they be saved? With all my heart I hope they are! But I believe there is more reason to doubt their interest in Christ than for it to be affirmed.

I ask with sincerity, what of someone who dies right after telling a lie, or someone while thinking a lustful or unbelieving thought, and they are not repentant of it? Would you place suicide on a whole other degree of seriousness of sin that it needs to be repented of before one can be cleansed? I think of Jesus saying to the disciples "you are clean but your feet need to be washed."

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

Here is a post that is tangentially relevant to the present discussion:

Francis Turretin on believers never repenting of specific sins

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

Perhaps the shortest answer to the question raised by the OP is that we should look at each instance of suicide committed by a professing Christian on a case-by-case basis. The danger of making a blanket statement that someone who dies as a result of suicide is "with the Lord" is that it could encourage others to go and do likewise unless such a statement is carefully qualified.

Several years ago, the wife of one of the ruling elders in a neighbouring RP congregation to mine took her own life after falling into a severe bout of depression. At the funeral, her minister did say that he believed that she was with Christ, but only after a) explaining that suicide was a gross breach of the sixth commandment (something that the person in question herself recognised when thinking more clearly), and that b) this person displayed obvious marks of grace in her life. No one could have come out of the funeral thinking that it was okay for a professing Christian to commit suicide, but neither were we driven to despair as to the person's spiritual state.

 

[Ed Walsh]

The danger of making a blanket statement that someone who dies as a result of suicide is "with the Lord" is that it could encourage others to go and do likewise unless such a statement is carefully qualified.

Note: I think I am OK by squeezing in this question about David because I see some similarity in the subject to suicide. But if anyone thinks it is too far off-topic, let me know, and I will be happy to delete it.

I have often said that during the year or so that David lived with the unconfessed sin and guilt of adultery and murder, maybe Nathan as a prophet but no one else could have (or should have) assured David of his salvation. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

What do you think?

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

Note: I think I am OK by squeezing in this question about David because I see some similarity in the subject to suicide. But if anyone thinks it is too far off-topic, let me know, and I will be happy to delete it.

I have often said that during the year or so that David lived with the unconfessed sin and guilt of adultery and murder, maybe Nathan as a prophet but no one else could have (or should have) assured David of his salvation. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

What do you think?

Judged by Psalm 51, I do not believe that David could have any assurance of salvation when living in such heinous, unconfessed sin. Hence, he cries out to God to restore unto him the joy of his salvation. It is similar to the case of Peter, who could only have assurance after he renewed faith and repentance. Thus, Christ told him, "when you are converted, strengthen your brothers."

 

[JTB.SDG]

All Christians make stupid mistakes. If a persons life is characterized by the fruit of the Spirit and walking humbly with the Lord, and at the end they take their life, I don't see why that should be an exception to the point we're not allowed to say the person is with the Lord. We look at the entirety of the persons life and tend toward a judgment of charity, and we let the Lord sort it out in the end.