The Calling of a Young Wife

[AV1611]

The Calling of a Young Wife by Rev. Steven Key

The Calling of a Young Wife​

by Rev. Steven Key​

This is the first of a series of articles, the substance of which was a sermon from Titus 2:4, 5 preached in Randolph Protestant Reformed Church on February 5, 1995. It is published by request. Although applicable especially to wives and young women who desire to prepare themselves for holy marriage, it is also applicable to older women—whose calling it is to instruct their daughters and younger women in these crucial truths, and to young men, who ought to seek these virtues in a wife.

Today I call your attention to the Bible’s instruction concerning an aspect of Christian family life. As we have seen often before, God has given marriage for our spiritual good and the good of his church. We are blessed who receive marriage and family life as God’s good gift. But we must also recognize that in order for it to serve for our spiritual good, our family life must conform to the will of God and the precepts of his word.

As we turn to Paul’s epistle to Titus, his fellow minister in the gospel, we find him giving Titus instruction concerning the ministry. Titus must emphasize in his ministry the calling of God’s people to put sound doctrine to practice. That is emphatically true when it comes to family life. Satan recognizes the importance of the institution of marriage and the family. For that reason, he levels numerous assaults upon the family, placing many temptations before the children of God.

This second chapter of Titus begins with the connecting word “But.”

The Apostle had just referred to the influence of the ungodly world upon the church. The world lives in open defiance of God, shamelessly trumpeting its sin as a great fun.

And because of the sinful natures even of God’s people, and also because of the reprobate that are found even in the development of the lines of the covenant, within the walls of the church, such wickedness in the world has an influence in the church.

In the very last part of chapter 1, Paul had warned of those who are defiled and unbelieving. He was speaking of those in the church. “They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate” (Titus 1:16).

“But....” In opposition to such and in defense against that influence of evil, “speak thou the things which become sound doctrine.” That is, speak concerning that godly life which is fitting with the confession of a Christian, which is consistent with the great truths of God’s word.

And part of that sound doctrine which Titus must preach and teach is the application of God’s truth to holy marriage and to family life.

Teaching Young Women
As we consider the instruction of verses 4 and 5 of Titus, chapter 2, it is striking that the instruction actually belongs to the calling of the older women in the church. It is not the calling of Titus and other ministers to teach the young women of the church, first of all, with respect to their calling in family life. But the older women have that responsibility.

Titus must preach sound doctrine and apply that truth to the life of God’s people.

But the members of the church must enter into the application of that truth.

That is an urgent responsibility! The opening words of verse 4 really do not convey the emphasis. But the text says literally, that the older women are earnestly to teach the young women. The word used actually means “to discipline, to hold one to her duty,” and therefore to exhort earnestly. That calling belongs to you older women.

When we use the terms “older” and “young,” we realize that age is a relative thing. But the text somewhat defines the terms here.

The young women are those who are married or of age to be married, and include mothers whose children are yet at home and whose life, therefore, is characterized by the tremendous daily responsibility of child-rearing. In that case, we might regard young women as those in their late teenage years and perhaps well up into their 40s.

The older women, on the other hand, although not exclusive of unmarried women, are generally those who are married and have already borne the responsibility of raising children. That may include those as young as in their mid to late 30s, as well as those who are older. Their children, if not already out of the house, are older.

These women, who have grown by experience and also have some spiritual maturity, are to show concern for the younger women of the church by teaching them the ways of God-fearing marriage and motherhood. You are to set before them, not only the pattern of your own life, but you are earnestly to speak to them the Word of God concerning the calling of a young wife.

Called to Love
The fundamental element of your calling, Christian wives, is that of love.

We speak now of that spiritual virtue which recognizes marriage and the family as God’s wonderful gift to his church.

That young women have husbands and children is only by God’s appointment.

That God has given to his church marriage is by his sovereign appointment. He has done so, according to Ephesians 5, in reflection of that amazing relationship between Christ and his church which he has established by his sovereign and eternal decree of election. The inspired Apostle speaks of the institution of marriage and that holy relationship, when he says in Ephesians 5:32: “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”

For a young woman to love her husband, she must recognize her God-given place.

In Genesis, chapter 2, we learn that man alone was not able to perform the calling that God had for him. God created the woman as the help fit for him. What a tremendously important calling you God-fearing wives have! Without godly wives and mothers in the home, the family and the church could not exist! The church, after all, is founded upon the life of the family.

What a glorious place God has given you women! You are indispensable to the welfare of us all. The home, the church and the cause of the kingdom depends directly upon your work as godly wives and mothers. Knowing that indispensable place given you by God, you are called to love your husband.

True Love
The love, therefore, which unites the Christian husband and wife together is much deeper than mere physical and romantic attraction. You will not find this love in the world’s books or the world’s movies.

This is a love which bears all things, which forgives many faults, which seeks the welfare of its object. It is the love of God in Christ which he works in their hearts through the Holy Spirit. And that love, as a matter of the soul, comes to expression.

Such love is the giving of one’s self to another.

This is the love of self-denial, the love which seeks the other and gives to the other.

Our Lord Jesus Christ is the supreme example. We read in Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” He gave Himself to the death of the cross for the welfare of his bride, for her salvation.

Here in Titus 2:4 the same calling of love is set before the young wives in the church.

Husbands must indeed love their wives. That is their chief calling in marriage.

But the text before us today sets the same calling before you wives.

To love your husband is to live for him, recognizing his headship as the picture of Christ’s headship over the church. It is to pray for him and to support him in all his endeavors. It is to be a spiritual help to him. It is to apply yourself in your daily life to preparing for him the most comfortable home possible. It is to be there for him, to fellowship with him.

To love your husband is to live with I Corinthians 13 written upon your heart. Such love also comes to expression in many other virtues, as we shall see presently.

Besides the love for her husband, the young mother is to love her children.

This, again, is not a natural love. Else it would not have to be taught you.

Your calling here is a calling to that deeply spiritual virtue of love. You are called to reflect the love of God in your relationship with your children.

That is often difficult, because our children are sinners. Not only so, but they are sinners in such a way that they reflect the sins of our own natures. That makes it very painful to experience. But you are called to love your children.

Such love is a love that provides for the children. A God-fearing mother is there for her children. She is not selfishly pursuing other interests to the neglect of her children. She is there, recognizing that her children require full-time labors of love. They must be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

During those several hours of the day when her husband is at work, the full responsibility for that calling rests upon mother’s shoulders. She must love her children, providing discipline for them, teaching them, having devotions with them, praying with them.

This love, love for her husband and love for her children, is the foundation of the Christian home where the young wife has her calling. Such love comes to manifestation.

http://www.prca.org/current/Beacon Lights/Vol-61/2007-02.htm#from_the_pastors_study

 

[AV1611]

In our last article in which we began our study of Titus 2:4, 5, we called attention to the love which a young wife is called to give her husband and children.

According to this inspired Word of God, that calling to love comes to virtuous manifestation, as we see in verse 5.

Discretion
In the first place, we note that the young wife is to be marked by discretion.

To be discreet is to be of sound judgment, wise in conduct and management. To be characterized by discretion is to have a spiritual-minded perspective and approach to all decisions necessary in the home.

The discreet woman avoids that which would injure her own soul and influence, or that would injure her husband and children. She realizes that what she takes into her life and what she does will have its effect through the years. She realizes that what is in harmony with God’s will shall certainly have a good end, but the bad is a means to a grievous outcome. Therefore she seeks to do what is right in God’s sight, and rejects the bad.

And she knows, because the heart is deceitful above all things, that she may not rely upon her own feelings or opinions as to what is right in a given situation; but she must seek God’s will in all things.

The young women who is discreet is a young woman who prays. She prays for wisdom, for sound judgment, for the fervent desire to walk according to all God’s precepts. And God grants her request. The enemy is not able to “pull the wool over her eyes.” She seeks the glory of God and His praise.

And when she errs, for she still struggles with her sinful nature, that error is the exception, and her husband and children will recognize it as such.

Chaste
The young wife must also be chaste.

That is a reflection of the love she has for her husband, love flowing forth from the love of God in her heart.

She is chaste, pure, expressing a life of holiness. She is careful about her conduct, her influence, her plans and purposes. She guards her tongue, that source of much impurity and evil. She is careful concerning her dress. She does not live for extravagance, is not wasteful. She is cautious about where she goes and doesn’t keep company with those who are unholy and impure.

To this godly young woman, pure and upright womanhood is a pearl of great price. She possesses self-control, not to be led astray like the silly women who are worldly and ungodly.

This holiness characterizes her life because she anchors her life to Christ, the Rock.

These are among the attributes that you women who are older are to set before the young women.

Keeper at Home
In addition, a God-fearing young wife is to be a home-worker and good.

In our society and in the day and age in which we live, this text has become one that most preachers would like to avoid. The expression “keepers at home” is so unmistakably clear, that in churches where young mothers working outside the home has become the norm, rather than the exception, the teaching of this Word of God presses upon the waywardness of many. That makes it uncomfortable, not only for those who have disobeyed this Word, but also for the preacher who must preach it without regard to the faces of men and women.

The consequences of disobedience to this commanded place of the mother are seen even by society. Many want to deny those consequences, but they are evident in undisciplined children, broken marriages, two-income families filled with financial strife over where money shall be spent, and many other societal evils. But we do not make judgments in the matter on the basis of bad results in society when mothers leave their God-given calling in the home.

We stand before the Word of God Himself. As Christians the Word of God is the standard for us, both concerning what we believe, but also how we live.

Remember, the Apostle gives instruction here concerning that lifestyle which is becoming, i.e., which is consistent with sound doctrine. This is the kind of lifestyle that is in harmony with God’s truth.

It is God’s will that young mothers are to be “keepers at home,” home-workers. For there is a steep price to be paid in the violation of this Word of God.

Again, you will notice that the text speaks specifically of those young women who have children in the home. And the text speaks not only of toddlers, but children from infancy through the age of adolescence. When you have children who come home to an empty house after school, or who are regularly left during the summer months without mother’s direct supervision and guidance; when you have children that are turned over to someone else’s care during the day, there is a forsaking of the God-ordained bond between mother and children, and the responsibility that God has given father and mother with respect to their children.

The inspired Apostle puts it this way in I Timothy 5:14: “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

Mothers with children at home are not to be off working outside of the home, but in their house, serving God, literally, as the “despot of the house.” Now, in the usage of our language that term despot often carries the connotation of a tyrant. But the meaning is simply that in the home during the day there must be one with authority, one who is governing. The husband is out of the home, laboring in obedience to God’s will for him. The wife and mother must be in the home, governing and giving constant guidance, also spiritually, for the welfare of that home.

No exceptions are mentioned. Sometimes there is argument made that there must be exceptions to this, if financial necessity requires a second income. But where do you find such an exception in the Bible? Where do you find it? I don’t find it anywhere.

I find much instruction in Scripture concerning what we must do in times of financial distress.

I learn from Scripture that when I consider myself lacking, I must first examine my own lifestyle and expenditures. Do I have a mistaken notions about what are necessities and what are luxuries? Are there things that we can do without, or lesser things that will suffice our needs?

I learn from Scripture as well, that when I look at my budget and my expenditures and find that I am not mismanaging as a poor steward those gifts which God has provided, nor am neglecting my calling to labor for the provision of my family, then I must seek help from others. I Timothy 5 is clear on that, to mention one passage.

The others from whom I must first seek help are my relatives. That is nothing shameful. That is the way God would have us go. And Christian relatives, parents, brothers and sisters, even aunts and uncles, should be sensitive to the needs of such families and stand willing to help them. I Timothy 5:8 is clear: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

And then, the Bible tells us, if our needs are such that our extended family cannot help us, we are to seek the mercies of Christ from His appointed deacons. Again, that is not a shameful thing, when God has providentially placed you in that position. That is a tremendous blessing, to know that God has appointed a means to care for you in time of need. And let me just mention, that includes provision for the godly instruction of our children in our Christian schools. When we are needful for financial assistance, that help must be there, also in order that we may fulfill our covenant obligations in the godly instruction of our children. God’s mercies provide for us through the office of deacon. We must not seek another way than the ways which God points us toward.

The Bible tells us how to deal with financial distress. Let us heed God’s wise instruction.

But never does the Bible give as an option, the mother’s forsaking of her calling to be a “keeper at home.” That is a necessary and tremendously important aspect of her calling, a manifestation of godly virtue on the part of a young wife and mother in the church.

As to those who object that the church would make the house a prison for mothers, we will not be led astray by such argumentation, shall we.

You understand that it is not at all the point of this text to confine young women exclusively to the house. She has other callings within the body of believers that will take her out of the house from time to time, often with her children.

Besides being an integral part of her husband’s household, she is an integral part of the church, and lives in the fellowship of the saints.

Good
The God-fearing young wife also shows love for her husband by showing herself “good.” She is to be taught to be “good.”

The reference to being “good” is a reference to the fact that she is not only the home-maker, but a helper in the body of Christ. She is ready to come to the assistance of other members of the congregation. She visits others in the church, particular to speak encouraging words. She takes her time by showing pure religion and undefiled, visiting the widows and orphans.

*Unlike one who fills her day with work outside the home, this virtuous woman has time for others.

Not only to be discreet, chaste and keepers at home, but good—that is the calling of the young wife.

You older women must teach these things to your daughters and younger sisters in Christ. (To be continued.)

http://www.prca.org/current/Beacon Lights/Vol-61/2007-03.htm

 

[AV1611]

As we have seen from Titus 2:4, 5, the young wives must be taught to love their husbands and children. That love comes to concrete expression by their being discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good. But there is one other thing that young wives must be taught.

Obedient to Their Husbands
The older women must teach the young women to be obedient to their own husbands.

This is the calling sounded repeatedly throughout the Bible’s teaching on marriage: The godly wife is to be in subjection to her husband.

That refers, first of all, to the attitude of her heart. She must know in her heart that God gave her husband to her as the head of their home. To live in subjection to him is to live in obedience to God Himself.

The reason is stated in Scripture, in Ephesians 5:23, 24: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

We recognize, of course, that husbands sometimes are most difficult to deal with. That is why Scripture also addresses the husbands very pointedly concerning their calling to treat their wives as Christ treats His Church, nourishing and cherishing her, giving honor to her out of the deep spiritual love of the regenerated heart. For the young men who read these articles, that is your calling as a husband, for which you will also answer to God. And therefore also you may not ignore your wife, nor refuse to allow her to talk or express her feelings. Marriage is communion, fellowship between husband and wife.

But turning again to the text before us we see that, without exception, the wife who will live in obedience to God must live in subjection to her husband.

You should remember, at the time this epistle was written, the church was full of new converts, many women whose husbands were unbelieving and ungodly. Peter addressed that issue specifically in I Peter 3:1, when he wrote: “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.”

It makes no difference if the husband is unreasonable and disobedient to his calling as a husband. The wife is to show her love for God by living in subjection to her husband.

There is nothing more disruptive to the home than a rebellious wife who will not submit to the rule of her husband.

There is nothing that gives a more disastrous testimony to the wicked world, than a woman who claims to be a Christian, but lives in rebellion to her husband.

What a horrible testimony to the truth of God’s Word, when a wife in the church rules in the household of her husband, contrary to her husband’s desires!

What tragedy, when the wickedness of the world’s women is manifest in households of the church! You wives must be in subjection to your husbands, says the Word of God.

The Instruction of the Older Women
Again, I remind you older women: It is your calling to exhort earnestly the young women concerning these things.

Of all these things that we have heard from this text, not one of them comes naturally. And you young women, as well as you older women, having heard these virtues and characteristics of godliness set before you, recognize very clearly that these things don’t come naturally for you, do they.

It takes the grace of God and the fellowship of the Spirit of Christ to enable us to walk in godliness. In all spiritual virtues we must be taught of God. And God uses means to teach us.

It may be difficult for a young woman to receive this instruction from a man. It may also be difficult for you to approach your daughters and other young women in the church concerning these matters. We are often of a mind to let things be, and hope that they somehow turn out well. But we may not live that way.

You, as godly women in Zion, are to exhort the young wives and remind them that what we have here is not merely the instruction of a self-seeking man. This is the very Word of God, the God Who is all-wise, Who knows what is best for us and for our families and for the Church, the God Who loves us so much that He gave His Son for us, and now shows us how to enjoy the fellowship of His covenant love. We must walk in obedience to Him.

The instruction of this text is as much the teaching of the Bible as is the truth of total depravity, the virgin birth of our Savior, Christ’s death and resurrection, and any other doctrine of the faith. And as important as is God’s truth and His revelation concerning those doctrines, of the same importance is the instruction given us in Titus 2:4, 5.

This is the life of a young wife that is consistent with the truth of God’s Word and the life of a Christian.

A Spiritually Fruitful Obedience
Godly obedience to this high calling is indeed spiritually fruitful.

That is evident from the last part of verse 5, where the focus is on the fruitfulness with respect to God’s honor and glory.

Women are to live such a life of godliness, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

That shows that the way you live reflects upon God.

For one who claims to love God and His Word, and yet who lives contrary to it, that person shows reproach to the Word of God, that it is not in his or her heart.

And when a person walks uprightly, that person shows that the Word of God reflects in his or her life. This brings a seriousness to your calling, doesn’t it.

The Word of God is blasphemed by the world when we Christians speak so much about the covenant of God with us and our children, when we claim that our children are God’s gifts to us, and then we forsake our calling as godly parents. We give occasion for the Word of God to be held in contempt. So that those who oppose us say, “The Word of God? It has no power. It doesn’t make a real difference in your life, does it!” Sometimes we hear that, don’t we. It only takes one member of the congregation living wickedly, and we hear, “You PRs; you claim to have the truth, but it sure doesn’t make any difference in how you live, does it!”

But we must remember that this inspired instruction is given to young women who have been born again by the Spirit of Christ. You who are God-fearing know that there is nothing worse than to live in such a way that we cause God and His Word to be blasphemed. You don’t want that! You love the Lord God! And therefore—I know of you—you want God’s Word to be praised.

That is why you hear this Word of God. You find your strength and fulfillment in the way of obedience.

Isn’t it so?

These matters pertaining to the life of young wives are the things that become, that are consistent with, sound doctrine. And God is glorified in those virtuous young wives and mothers who walk in obedience to His Word.

But in addition, when God is glorified, He also gives His blessing.

Look once again, beloved, at those characteristics manifest in the God-fearing young woman. She loves her husband; she loves her children. She is discreet, chaste, a keeper at home. She is good, obedient to her own husband.

It is those kind of characteristics that make the women of the world rage. To them such characteristics spell male-domination and bondage, drudgery and suppression. What do those things spell to you?

According to God’s Word, those things spell BEAUTY, spiritual beauty. Such beauty is possible only by your freedom in Christ Jesus, freedom to walk in the way of God’s will. For we are partakers of God’s glory and grace in Christ Jesus.

The young woman who strives to live in obedience to this Word of God certainly rises above the degrading principles of sin and wickedness. That is not to say that obedience is found to be easy. Nor is it to say that such a life will not result in certain sacrifices and hardships. But when you live according to God’s precepts, your life is seen as one of beauty and nobility. It is seen as such by God Himself. But it is also seen as such by God-fearing husbands and children and brothers and sisters in Christ.

When you walk in the way of this Word, though you are so conscious of your weaknesses and sins, you set examples before your husband and children and neighbors that are worthy of emulation. They will know that your life is hid with Christ in God.

And so you also shield your children from the evils and errors, sins and wickedness that surround them. By your own example of godliness, you warn them against the ways of the world, and show them the higher, more beautiful and worthwhile things of life: obedience to God and His Word, and partaking of the fellowship of His love.

Of the woman who lives in such a way, the writer of Proverbs 31 speaks, “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her…. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:28, 30). Hear this Word of God, my young sisters in Christ. Walk in His way. And May God Himself so grant you His blessing.

http://www.prca.org/current/Beacon Lights/Vol-61/2007-04.htm#from_the_pastors_study

 

[CDM]

Excellent.

You should make a .pdf of it.