bookish_Basset
Puritan Board Freshman
I would be grateful for advice about something that's been on my mind recently. (It's also the first "real" thread I've started, so I post it with mild trepidation!)
I've loved studying theology since I was quite young. During a time when I'd wandered astray, the Lord used certain writings of the church fathers to draw me back to himself. In time I developed an appreciation for Calvin's Institutes, among other works, and in recent years I've found such beauty in the sermons of Rutherford, Sibbes, and Flavel. I've never found much of a distinction between "head knowledge" and "heart knowledge" in this area--reading theological writings is something that genuinely moves me to deeply felt joy and worship. I also love sharing my enthusiasm for church history through my writing, and others in my church have expressed that this has encouraged them.
I do know that my righteousness can never rest on my theological understanding (and there's so much I don't understand and don't expect to grasp in this life!--I'm reminded of this daily). I guess my question is, how can I ensure that I'm seeking an ever deeper experiential knowledge of Christ, and not falling into the deception that study is primary or sufficient? It dismays me to think that something I believe He has used to deepen my love for Him and His Church could so easily become an idol. (Perhaps I should note, too, that I tend to be scrupulous and am not always sure of the line between godly self-examination and excessive introspection, in this or any other area.)
I hope this question makes sense. Thanks for any insights, exhortations, or encouragement anyone is willing to share.
I've loved studying theology since I was quite young. During a time when I'd wandered astray, the Lord used certain writings of the church fathers to draw me back to himself. In time I developed an appreciation for Calvin's Institutes, among other works, and in recent years I've found such beauty in the sermons of Rutherford, Sibbes, and Flavel. I've never found much of a distinction between "head knowledge" and "heart knowledge" in this area--reading theological writings is something that genuinely moves me to deeply felt joy and worship. I also love sharing my enthusiasm for church history through my writing, and others in my church have expressed that this has encouraged them.
I do know that my righteousness can never rest on my theological understanding (and there's so much I don't understand and don't expect to grasp in this life!--I'm reminded of this daily). I guess my question is, how can I ensure that I'm seeking an ever deeper experiential knowledge of Christ, and not falling into the deception that study is primary or sufficient? It dismays me to think that something I believe He has used to deepen my love for Him and His Church could so easily become an idol. (Perhaps I should note, too, that I tend to be scrupulous and am not always sure of the line between godly self-examination and excessive introspection, in this or any other area.)
I hope this question makes sense. Thanks for any insights, exhortations, or encouragement anyone is willing to share.