"Updated" Ten Commandments

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Theoretical

Puritan Board Professor
At my university's "alternative" editorial publication, we had a most wonderful article on religion by a truly ignorant individual (both in the article and in real life - I have the misfortune of knowing her). This is the Ten Commandments (in bold) with her suggested Ten Amendments

  1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me...unless you're not Chirstian.
  2. Thou shalt not take the name of God in vain...unless it's reflexive.
  3. Thou shalt not make unto thee an idol...unless it's purely symbolic.
  4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy...unless you must attend to thy family and kin.
  5. Honor thy father and mother...unless they encourage you to break the other nine rules.
  6. Thou shalt not kill...unless protecting thy self and thy family from dire harm.
  7. Thou shalt not commit adultery...unless it ensures the safety of thy loved ones.
  8. Thou shalt not steal...unless thou art starving.
  9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor...unless thy life or the life of a loved one necessitates it.
  10. Thought shalt not eveny thy neighbor's possesions or situation...or at least make great effort to do so.

Sigh. :banghead:
 

Timothy William

Puritan Board Junior
They seem mostly either circular:

"1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me - unless you have other Gods before me"
or trivial:
"3. Thou shalt not make unto thee an idol...unless it's purely symbolic - of course all idols were symbolic, even pagans don't think gods actually inhabit idols."

And how could committing adultery ensure the safety of your loved ones?

Abraham and his sister Sarah? But of course God rebuked Abraham for his deception.
 
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