Vatican secret confession tribunal opens up
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BobVigneault
Bawberator
"One of the Vatican's most secrecy shrouded tribunals" and soon to be a new Fox reality show, "Who Is The BIGGEST Sinner?"
The winner gets total absolution and a piece of the original cross.
The winner gets total absolution and a piece of the original cross.
MrMerlin777
Puritan Board Post-Graduate
Can I get fries with that Bawb?? Or a beer?? Maybe I should ask Benny.
BobVigneault
Bawberator
What a great testimony time this would make though:
{Wavy picture and harp arpeggios introducing a dreamlike sequence. Camera focuses on mouth of Bob and then pulls back to him addressing the congregation.}
"Before I asked Jesus to come into my heart to be my personal Lord and Savior I was a horrible sinner. I used to go to confession on Saturday afternoon and grown priests would run, screaming like little girls, from the confessional. There wasn't enough Our Fathers, Hail Marys and Acts of Contritions to say in one life time. Finally my priest called the vicar who called the bishop who called the arch bishop who called the primate.... (skipping, skipping) ..... who called the cardinal who referred me to the Secret Tribunal for Heinous and Especially Bad Sins and they determined that my sins were sooooo bad that only the Pope could give me absolution."
{Gasps and wimpers heard around the sanctuary}
But then I heard Joel Osteen tell me that my mistakes were causing me to fall short of my best life now. That I should just look into my heart and live my life. I'm here to tell you that you can too."
{Wavy picture and more arpeggios as reverberated voice calls, "Bob, Bob, you have a PM from Rich! Bob!" Wake up in puddle of drool.}
{Wavy picture and harp arpeggios introducing a dreamlike sequence. Camera focuses on mouth of Bob and then pulls back to him addressing the congregation.}
"Before I asked Jesus to come into my heart to be my personal Lord and Savior I was a horrible sinner. I used to go to confession on Saturday afternoon and grown priests would run, screaming like little girls, from the confessional. There wasn't enough Our Fathers, Hail Marys and Acts of Contritions to say in one life time. Finally my priest called the vicar who called the bishop who called the arch bishop who called the primate.... (skipping, skipping) ..... who called the cardinal who referred me to the Secret Tribunal for Heinous and Especially Bad Sins and they determined that my sins were sooooo bad that only the Pope could give me absolution."
{Gasps and wimpers heard around the sanctuary}
But then I heard Joel Osteen tell me that my mistakes were causing me to fall short of my best life now. That I should just look into my heart and live my life. I'm here to tell you that you can too."
{Wavy picture and more arpeggios as reverberated voice calls, "Bob, Bob, you have a PM from Rich! Bob!" Wake up in puddle of drool.}
PresbyDane
Puritanboard Doctor
Now the RC is trying to be seeker sensitive just in the same time the Emergent were turning RC.
The world is turning upside down
The world is turning upside down
SemperEruditio
Puritan Board Junior
"Confessions of even the most heinous of crimes and sins — such as genocide or mass murder — are handled at the local level by priests and their bishops and are not heard by the tribunal."
Local.
"These include defiling the Eucharist, which Catholics believe is the body and blood of Christ. Stafford said this offense is occurring with more and more frequency, not just in satanic rites but by ordinary faithful who receive Communion and then remove the host from their mouths and spit it out or otherwise desecrate it.
Others include a priest breaking the seal of the confessional by revealing the nature of the sin and the person who sought penance, or a priest who has sex with someone and then offered forgiveness for the act.
Secret Tribunal....
So I can kill everyone in my county and a local priest is enough....but if I spit out the Communion wafer I need the secret tribunal in the Vatican... I must be out of touch with my RCC heritage because I was taught that you never bit the communion wafer nor could you put your finger in your mouth if it got stuck on the roof of your mouth....guess I know why now. 
Local.
"These include defiling the Eucharist, which Catholics believe is the body and blood of Christ. Stafford said this offense is occurring with more and more frequency, not just in satanic rites but by ordinary faithful who receive Communion and then remove the host from their mouths and spit it out or otherwise desecrate it.
Others include a priest breaking the seal of the confessional by revealing the nature of the sin and the person who sought penance, or a priest who has sex with someone and then offered forgiveness for the act.
Secret Tribunal....
So I can kill everyone in my county and a local priest is enough....but if I spit out the Communion wafer I need the secret tribunal in the Vatican...
I must be out of touch with my RCC heritage because I was taught that you never bit the communion wafer nor could you put your finger in your mouth if it got stuck on the roof of your mouth....guess I know why now. Martin Marsh;
No, they will all take hands and start singing kum-ba-yah--and the pope will absolve the sin's of everyone--except those of us who continue to protest against this Blasphemy of his/ or a priests ability of being able to absolve ANY sin!!
]Now the RC is trying to be seeker sensitive just in the same time the Emergent were turning RC.
The world is turning upside down
No, they will all take hands and start singing kum-ba-yah--and the pope will absolve the sin's of everyone--except those of us who continue to protest against this Blasphemy of his/ or a priests ability of being able to absolve ANY sin!!
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