What Presbyterians have to learn from a Baptist - hoax?

[Eoghan]

I hve come to respect Dale Ralph Davis for his commentaries and sermons, so when I found this sermon title: What Presbyterians have to learn from a Baptist and I was intrigued. Turned out it was a sermon on John the Baptist - was it a deliberate trap set for curious Baptists.

 

[Alan D. Strange]

was it a deliberate trap set for curious Baptists?

What are you asking? Are you suggesting some impropriety on his part?

Ralph is a Presbyterian minister and preached this in a Presbyterian Church. The title seems calculated to pique the interest of Presbyterians.

Ralph commonly gives his sermons intriguing titles. He's done so here and I see nothing amiss.

Peace,
Alan

 

[JTB.SDG]

Course, we all know that John the Baptist was actually a Presbyterian.

 

[Bill The Baptist]

I think it’s pretty funny.

 

[Eoghan]

I really thought there was going to be some dialogue or ... ...something.

Probably my mistake in reading more into the title than was there to start with. I REALLY like D. R. Davis and am using his commentaries on Psalms at the moment.

I guess a suggestive title was just that.

 

[JTB.SDG]

For my best Presbyterian joke, please see the thread about Home Alone.

 

[timfost]

For my best Presbyterian joke, please see the thread about Home Alone.

Check out this-- some were really funny.

https://jollyblogger.typepad.com/jollyblogger/2005/06/you_might_be_a_.html

 

[JimmyH]

Once I saw the 'punch line' I thought the OP was intended as humor. I found it so.

 

[Bill The Baptist]

Check out this-- some were really funny.

https://jollyblogger.typepad.com/jollyblogger/2005/06/you_might_be_a_.html

As a Baptist, I love making Baptist jokes. For example, did you know that there are three immutable religious truths? 1. That Jews don’t recognize Jesus as Messiah. 2. That Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as the head of the church. 3. That Baptists don’t recognize each other at the liquor store.

 

[Joshua]

As a Baptist, I love making Baptist jokes. For example, did you know that there are three immutable religious truths? 1. That Jews don’t recognize Jesus as Messiah. 2. That Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as the head of the church. 3. That Baptists don’t recognize each other at the liquor store.

Right. Never take only one Baptist fishin' with you, or he'll drink all the beer.

 

[VictorBravo]

Right. Never take only one Baptist fishin' with you, or he'll drink all the beer.

So what happens if you bring more than one?

 

[Joshua]

So what happens if you bring more than one?

You'll get all the beer, cuz (as the stereotype goes) two or more Baptists won't drink in front of one another.

 

[Ryan&Amber2013]

This is true. At our previous church, the pastors weren't allowed to drink, so they had to do it in secret.

 

[Alan D. Strange]

so they had to do it in secret.

Ryan:

Do you mean that they did it in secret, or, as you put it, that "they had to do it in secret?"

I hope that they didn't do it if they were in positions that required abstinence of them. To feign abstinence while furtively imbibing lacks integrity. Again, I hope that they did not do such.

Peace,
Alan

 

[Stephen L Smith]

Course, we all know that John the Baptist was actually a Presbyterian

OPC or PCA?

 

[Stephen L Smith]

For my best Presbyterian joke, please see the thread about Home Alone.

Have you seen "A Baptist Proves that Baptism is not by Immersion" http://www.apuritansmind.com/covena...-that-baptism-is-not-by-immersion-by-unknown/

 

[Ben Zartman]

What are the loneliest things in the world? The middle verses in a Baptist hymnal.
This joke does of course not apply to all baptists, some of whom do sing every verse.

 

[JTB.SDG]

OPC or PCA?

E-Free?

 

[VictorBravo]

You'll get all the beer, cuz (as the stereotype goes) two or more Baptists won't drink in front of one another.

Hah! I don't get out much, I guess. In my circle they'd all be critiquing the quality and comparing the beer to the latest microbrew.

 

[Kinghezy]

I wish I had flagged it, but I was listening to an RC Sproul sermon on one of the renewing your minds and he had quipped about "John the Presbyterian". The delivery was perfect.

 

[Eoghan]

Not quite where I started but definitely picking up on gentle humour. My contribution is the Jewish bra as distinct from the Protestant bra.

A young Jewish man walks into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York. He tells the saleslady, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size 34 B."

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?"

He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you would know what she wanted."

"Ah, now I remember," said the saleslady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Most of our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra."

Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked "So, what are the differences?"

The saleslady responded. "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses, the Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright."

He mused on that information for a minute and said: "Hmm. I know I'll regret asking, but what does the Jewish bra do?"

"Ah, the Jewish bra," she replied "makes mountains out of molehills.

 

[Eoghan]

Had to research northern baptists to appreciate this one

What's the difference between a Northern Baptist and a Southern Baptist?

The Northern Baptist says, "There ain't no Hell."

The Southern Baptist says, "The Hell there ain't..!"