What's with the Chuck Norris craze?

Status
Not open for further replies.
P

Pergamum

Ordinary Guy (TM)
Man oh man....another internet fad...but a pretty funny one.

Apparently Chuck Norris is pretty tough:



"The Truth about Chuck Norris"



When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.



Has anyone else been mailed stuff like this? And where did it start? I am curious about the genesis of these internet fads.
 
oops...here's some more....pretty funny:











If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
 
I remember a few years ago when that stuff was first coming out, I worked with a guy that drove me nuts. Like everyday it was Chuck Norris this or Chuck Norris that.
 
I heard Chuck Norris was in the middle of a lawsuit against the guy who published all this stuff in a book. Apparently some of them were racist and/or sexist and so Chuck Norris is sueing him for libel or something. I'll have to look it up.
 
There are no races, only countries of people Adam Leavelle has beaten to different shades of black and blue.


Adam’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.


Adam Leavelle doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.


Adam Leavelle CAN believe it's not butter.

If tapped, an Adam Leavelle roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Adam Leavelle can divide by zero.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Adam Leavelle has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

A picture is worth a thousand words. An Adam Leavelle is worth 1 billion words.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Adam Leavelle roundhouse kick.

Adam once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

When Adam talks, everybody listens. And dies.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Adam Leavelle kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Adam Leavelle to go around.

Adam doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Adam is Adam.

Adam Leavelle always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

When you're Adam Leavelle, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

Adam has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On his birthday, Adam randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Adam has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Adam Leavelle grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Adam Leavelle"

Adam ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Adam and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

If you Google search "Adam Leavelle getting his butt kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Adam can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

Little known medical fact: Adam invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Adam doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Adam Leavelle. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Adam just 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.



Adam has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Adam Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.


When Adam Leavelle is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

Adam once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

James Cameron wanted Adam to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Adam Leavelle can touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of years ago Adam came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Adam played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
 
Pergamum said:
There are no races, only countries of people Adam Leavelle has beaten to different shades of black and blue.


Adam’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.


Adam Leavelle doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.


Adam Leavelle CAN believe it's not butter.

If tapped, an Adam Leavelle roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Adam Leavelle can divide by zero.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Adam Leavelle has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

A picture is worth a thousand words. An Adam Leavelle is worth 1 billion words.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Adam Leavelle roundhouse kick.

Adam once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

When Adam talks, everybody listens. And dies.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Adam Leavelle kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Adam Leavelle to go around.

Adam doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Adam is Adam.

Adam Leavelle always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

When you're Adam Leavelle, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

Adam has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On his birthday, Adam randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Adam has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Adam Leavelle grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Adam Leavelle"

Adam ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Adam and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

If you Google search "Adam Leavelle getting his butt kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Adam can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

Little known medical fact: Adam invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Adam doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Adam Leavelle. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Adam just 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.



Adam has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Adam Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.


When Adam Leavelle is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

Adam once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

James Cameron wanted Adam to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Adam Leavelle can touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of years ago Adam came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Adam played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Click to expand...

:lol:

and don't you forget it!
 
The Chuck Norris craze began around 2005 when my former employer "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" developed a skit that involved showing random clips of the show "Walker: Texas Ranger" out of context, it was hilarious and caught on with college kids accordingly. From thereon it sprung into different variations of using Chuck Norris' awesomeness as a punchline by people with too much time on their hands across the nation.

My favorite Chuck Norris joke is this one however:

"Chuck Norris single handedly destroyed the Periodic Table citing that the only element Chuck Norris recognizes is the element of surprise.":lol:
 
Yeah, Travis is right. This has been going on for a while. I'm in college though, so I know what's hip. I can't expect you old folks to keep up with our comedy. :p

*runs and hides*
 
Pergy and Adam, I'm saving the "Leavelle List" for posterity.

I love the whole weird Chuck Norris thing. Especially that we're "living in a Chucktatorship".

:)
 
Good stuff! Huge fan. I read these and they just never seem to loose there luster!

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's Potato Chip

That friends is truth, sincerity and hilarity all wrapped up in a nice little terse statement of Fact! LOL
 
There was a similar list about Jack Bauer. The best one was: "Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas."
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

B
  • Locked
What's the Matter with Matthew?
Replies
28
Views
8K
D. Paul
D. Paul
DMcFadden
  • Locked
What's with Libronix and the FV???
Replies
17
Views
2K
Berit
B
B
  • Locked
Chuck 1
Replies
0
Views
1K
bookslover
B
Richard King
  • Locked
Norris - President of Texas
Replies
2
Views
1K
PresbyDane
PresbyDane
Jonathan95
What's Going on With the Israel/Palestine Conflict?
Replies
13
Views
1K
Deleted member 11889
D
Back
Top