Who comes first? Your wife or your ministry?

Discussion in 'Family Forum' started by jonathanmbowman, May 22, 2018.

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  1. sc_q_jayce

    sc_q_jayce Puritan Board Freshman

    Hi Alan!

    I definitely understand what you are getting at and it may have been my own comment that was too pithy. I'll make some clarifications to your points as I do not disagree with your post but I do not think my position is that far away from yours, either.

    My goal was to help recognize that in most situations there can often be more than just a dichotomy of answers where I choose the wife and neglect the parishioner or vice-versa. I have seen cases where it was the wiser decision to have a RE take point on a situation even when the TE was available. Sometimes it may be that the RE may just need to get there first so the TE does not need to rush a different pastoral call. Sometimes it may be more prudent for the TE to come the next day after the situation has all calmed down while a deacon or RE handles logistical issues. I've seen all of that.

    I agree with you that for most people they look at someone who is a "pastor" differently than someone who is an "elder" and that this may color how a situation is to be handled. It would be prudent for REs and TEs to determine how best to serve individual families and/or people based on preferences/proclivities/relationships to others. But I'm just trying to say that the situation needn't always be set in such a dichotomous way.
  2. Rutherglen1794

    Rutherglen1794 Puritan Board Sophomore

    And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. - Romans 12:2

    To argue that neglecting your family is necessary in order to fulfill your ministerial vocation is to declare that the word of God is not true, and that God's will is not perfect.

    Because God's will is indeed perfect, His will for your marriage and children does not negatively affect His will for your ministry, nor the other way around.

    A man who claims that he must neglect his family in order to "do God's will" in his ministry is wrong, if I understand the above verse.

    Granted, there are unforeseen and special circumstances; but family neglect cannot be the norm in order to build your ministry, for this would put God's perfect will in opposition of itself.
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