Who wants to critique my sermon?

[raekwon]

I realize that asking this on the Preaching forum of the Puritan Board may be akin to exposing my back to a severe flogging, but here goes. ;-)

I preached this morning in the lead pastor's absence. It was my second sermon ever, and since I have no seminary professor to grade me (and my pastor wasn't there to evaluate it), I'd like to know what you folks think.

Unfortunately, the audio recording is practically inaudible, so I've posted the manuscript to my blog. It's located here: http://raewhitlock.com/?p=343&preview=true

Comments and critique, please! (Particularly from pastors and others who preach regularly.)

Thanks!

 

[awretchsavedbygrace]

I realize that asking this on the Preaching forum of the Puritan Board may be akin to exposing my back to a severe flogging, but here goes. ;-)

I preached this morning in the lead pastor's absence. It was my second sermon ever, and since I have no seminary professor to grade me (and my pastor wasn't there to evaluate it), I'd like to know what you folks think.

Unfortunately, the audio recording is practically inaudible, so I've posted the manuscript to my blog. It's located here: http://raewhitlock.com/2009/05/17/hey-its-another-sermon/

Comments and critique, please! (Particularly from pastors and others who preach regularly.)

Thanks!

It didn't load? Please provide another link?

 

[raekwon]

Yeah, that was weird. Try the new link I provided.

 

[Timothy William]

Just read the sermon. I'm not a preacher, but my thoughts were that you have quite a way with words, it reads like it would have been an engaging sermon. Overall perhaps a little light theologically; there didn't appear to be any new ideas in the sermon I wasn't already familiar with.

 

[Kevin]

Rae, that was a real blessing!

I think you did a workman like job, and it was clear from the reading of it that you did NOT "offer that which cost you nothing"!

I think that the intro was effective at drawing in the audience & introducing the subject.

I think that your illustrations were natural & understandable, and most important they illustrated the point that you were making.

The conclusion did a good job of focusing us on Christ as our hope, and I always am glad to see that in a sermon.

All in All, a very solid job. My critical points are minor & mostly stylistic so I won't bother mentioning them here.

Try downloarding the Cov Sem "Preperation & delivery of sermons" by Bryan Chapel on mp3. They are great.

Keep in mind I am only a deacon "under care" so I may be a bit of an "easy grader". But As Dr Whytock constantly reminds me "a sermon is not a lecture."

Present Christ as the scripture presents Him. One point understood is better then 10 points footnoted.

 

[21st Century Calvinist]

Brother Rae,
You did ask, so here goes. I would far rather have heard you preach than read the sermon. It's just the way I roll. I am not a seasoned preacher. I am in a homiletics class and this is what we do with each other after we have preached.
I think you may well have read Dr Chapell's book judging by your outline, the fallen condition focus (FCF) and the proposition. Dr Chapell's class is available to all on the Covenant website, I highly recommend it.
Did you read from the manuscript or use an outline?
The intro is really good. I like the way you build it up. You get our minds going and to be sure we can relate to at least one of the folks mentioned. However, you have left me hanging. I want some resolution to the plight of the teenage girl, the criminal and the elder.
In the first point the exegesis makes sense and you state, place, prove really well. The illustration (as are all your illustrations) is good and it's real. You indicated your struggle with the application. How does God's revelation of himself in creation make me know and worship him? We see God's goodness, we see his power and know that that same goodness and power is towards us. The intricacy and intimacy with which he created the universe shows he is interested in the small details. I am created by God in the same manner. I too matter to him. I too have a purpose. I too was created to glorify God. We hear God in creation but do we listen? These are some roads that I would have taken.
Second point, I appreciate. Thank you for that. I am guilty of going to Scripture looking for a promise when in distress.
Your final point is good and well put. It is vital to point people to Christ and call them to faith and repentance. It did though come from the Acts passage and not Psalm 19.
Please take my comments as constructive. My intention in mentioning them is to encourage you. I hope you would do the same for me one day. I am sure had I been there at the service I would have been blessed. Looking forward to hearing your next sermon.
Please feel free to come back at me, especially if you feel I have been unfair/unkind.

 

[Pergamum]

I realize that asking this on the Preaching forum of the Puritan Board may be akin to exposing my back to a severe flogging, but here goes. ;-)

I preached this morning in the lead pastor's absence. It was my second sermon ever, and since I have no seminary professor to grade me (and my pastor wasn't there to evaluate it), I'd like to know what you folks think.

Unfortunately, the audio recording is practically inaudible, so I've posted the manuscript to my blog. It's located here: Hey, it’s another sermon! — raewhitlock dot com

Comments and critique, please! (Particularly from pastors and others who preach regularly.)

Thanks!

Severe Flogging!!


Woohoooo... let the beatings continue until the preachin' improves!!!! That would help seminary students study harder huh!

 

[raekwon]

Thanks for the feedback, guys. Very helpful. (Except Pergy. ;-))

Just read the sermon. I'm not a preacher, but my thoughts were that you have quite a way with words, it reads like it would have been an engaging sermon. Overall perhaps a little light theologically; there didn't appear to be any new ideas in the sermon I wasn't already familiar with.

Yeah . . . I worked on it for a couple of weeks (focusing only on the first six verses), and then on Friday, I felt strongly compelled to preach the entire Psalm . . . so I scrapped it and started over. ;-) Finished at 4:30 Sunday morning. I probably could've achieved more theological depth if I'd continued with what I already had, but . . . I received lots of affirmation from the congregation afterward that it was "just what they needed to hear".

(And I'm almost glad there weren't things you weren't familiar with! I'm not trying to be innovative. ;-))

Brother Rae,
You did ask, so here goes. I would far rather have heard you preach than read the sermon. It's just the way I roll. I am not a seasoned preacher. I am in a homiletics class and this is what we do with each other after we have preached.
I think you may well have read Dr Chapell's book judging by your outline, the fallen condition focus (FCF) and the proposition. Dr Chapell's class is available to all on the Covenant website, I highly recommend it.
Did you read from the manuscript or use an outline?
The intro is really good. I like the way you build it up. You get our minds going and to be sure we can relate to at least one of the folks mentioned. However, you have left me hanging. I want some resolution to the plight of the teenage girl, the criminal and the elder.
In the first point the exegesis makes sense and you state, place, prove really well. The illustration (as are all your illustrations) is good and it's real. You indicated your struggle with the application. How does God's revelation of himself in creation make me know and worship him? We see God's goodness, we see his power and know that that same goodness and power is towards us. The intricacy and intimacy with which he created the universe shows he is interested in the small details. I am created by God in the same manner. I too matter to him. I too have a purpose. I too was created to glorify God. We hear God in creation but do we listen? These are some roads that I would have taken.
Second point, I appreciate. Thank you for that. I am guilty of going to Scripture looking for a promise when in distress.
Your final point is good and well put. It is vital to point people to Christ and call them to faith and repentance. It did though come from the Acts passage and not Psalm 19.
Please take my comments as constructive. My intention in mentioning them is to encourage you. I hope you would do the same for me one day. I am sure had I been there at the service I would have been blessed. Looking forward to hearing your next sermon.
Please feel free to come back at me, especially if you feel I have been unfair/unkind.

I appreciate the feedback! I'm indeed encouraged. To answer your question, I read from the manuscript. I'm not seasoned enough yet (or maybe I just don't have the confidence yet) to be able to preach from an outline. Still, I try (and have been told by others that I succeed) to make lots of eye contact, visually "scooping" a paragraph or two into my brain so my eyes aren't constantly looking downward.

 

[willisadair]

You did a wonderful job.

 

[Wannabee]

I read from the manuscript. I'm not seasoned enough yet (or maybe I just don't have the confidence yet) to be able to preach from an outline. Still, I try (and have been told by others that I succeed) to make lots of eye contact, visually "scooping" a paragraph or two into my brain so my eyes aren't constantly looking downward.

I can relate to this big time. I finally decided that I was going to just have to do it, because I couldn't get away from it sounding "read." So at first I wrote out the manuscript, then outlined it. That way I had worked through the details and how I wanted to say it, but don't give myself the umbilical cord of having it all written out. If there are quotes or certain phrases or I want to put a certain statement in a certain way I would still write it out.
Now, about a year after I first started doing that, I am getting to where I can just write my sermon out in outline form and trust that my work and research will fill in the gaps. My outlines are such that I would expect that just about anybody could preach from them. But by leaving out enough detail to make me think about what I'm saying rather than sticking to the script it adds a personal dynamic that the elders here has helped my preaching. I still have a lot to learn, but this has been very freeing in many ways, including time of preparation. At first I was spending 40 hours a week in sermon prep. Now it varies between 15 and 25. But often I find that with each passage I've done most of the work for the following sermons the first week. I'll have an outline and start filling it in with bits of information, cutting, pasting and building my thought process in such a way that I can often simply cut my work in half, or thirds, and have two, three or even more sermons basically outlined the first week. That has been a tremendous blessing and, again, freeing.
Also, preach it to yourself a few times before you preach. We all do this to a certain degree anyway. But that'll help you let go of the manuscript a bit.

Well, that's probably more than you asked for. Hopefully my meandering thoughts are of some benefit. May God do a mighty work in your heart as you study His Word in faithfulness.